PART 1: Bullies, Burnout, Going Viral, and Unfiltered ICU Nurses with Jason Wolf
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Hey guys, welcome back to Friends and Enemas. My name's Lindsay, I'm your host, and who do I have with me? My name's Jason Wolf. Awesome. Do you want to give them a little brief of how we met? Yeah, so... If you remember. Oh, I do. The nursing world's like a really small world, and so funny, I was in San Francisco, and coincidentally, you...

and a couple of other influencers were in San Francisco and you and I were just starting off on a TikTok journey. - Yeah. - And I remember you had maybe 50,000 followers at the time and everything.

And of course, you've grown since then. But you and I reached out to each other and we're like, hey, we should go live one time and just talk. Yeah. And when we went live, I was so nervous. I usually don't talk on camera, but it was just one of the coolest collabs. You're an amazing person. I was like, we have to meet up and we have to do a video collab. I have some ideas. And yeah, just to think how wild of a life it is to hang out with you and

downtown San Francisco. Now here we are in LA. I know. And that was like two years ago. We thought we said two, I was like, was it two or was it three? But it was two years ago, which is so fun because I've kept up with you at least online. We'll get into your story a little bit here in a second. And then when was there too, which shout out to win. Um,

I haven't seen her since then either, actually. But before we get started, I figured just to get your juices flowing, we could do a Would You Rather Nurse Edition. Let's play. I did this with Brendan on his episode and it seemed to go pretty well. That was a fun episode, by the way. Thank you. You're ICU, correct? Yes, ma'am.

Okay. Ma'am. Look, I'm a Southern boy. You're a Southern boy. This is how we operate. I said, wait, you're bringing me back to Oklahoma. Yeah, that's right. Texas and Oklahoma. We're neighbors. We know. I know exactly where that comes from. We come from the same place. Would you rather perform a digital impaction on a patient and then run your fingers across your upper lip or drink five mils of residuals directly from a PEG tube? Oh, no.

Oh, no. Yeah, that one of them's like, oh, my gosh, this is taking me back to my high school days of the dirty Sanchez. And if anybody knows what that is, no, you don't want to know. Google it if you don't know. I'm not speaking about that on camera. It's Urban Dictionary, if you must. But yeah, the first. Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah. So there is no force on heaven and earth that would ever change.

ever possess me to drink residuals that's what i'm saying yeah the amount i don't have to adjust the poop right in the first one correct i don't have to adjust it right yeah it's just on your upper lip yeah that stuff stays out of me yeah like yes snaps because i've asked somebody this before and they would rather drink the residuals i'm like what

That's disgusting. No, no. You know, the funny thing about nursing is, is there's a lot of people that join this industry with trauma. And when I hear that somebody wants to drink residuals over the dirty Sanchez, then yeah, trauma. Yeah. You've got some demons. Something's wrong with you.

Something's wrong with you. Just a little. Just a little bit. And that's the litmus test to find out what is wrong with you. If you choose that. Yeah, I just need to know for a mental health survey. Yeah, whichever one you choose is going to tell me who's doing all right in life. You are not doing well in life if you choose to drink residuals. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Okay. Next, would you rather...

Small C for the whole shift or GI bleed for the whole shift. Oh, man. Gosh, who made that? Me. Did you really? That's hilarious. You came up with that? Yeah, that's both vile and evil. I like vile. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. You have to if you're in this, yet again, trauma. Trauma. Dark humor. Here we are. Yeah.

You know what? God bless. I've broken my nose so many times. And so it's really good because I don't smell the smells that most people smell. Oh, nice. Smells that most people smell. Right. Yeah. Nice little alliteration there. But if somebody's baking brownies, I can't really smell those either, right? And so, you know, blessing and a curse. But if I was to curse myself with a sense of smell during a nursing shift, which I don't wish that upon my worst enemies. Yeah.

I would definitely... Oh, shoot. You know, there's levels to GI bleed. There are. C. diff is just C. diff. It's just C. diff. It's a constant C. diff, right? GI bleed, you could be like...

Oh, that's at least three hemoglobins right there. You know what I mean? Oh, that's a four hemoglobin GI bleed. Yeah. So I'm definitely going to say C. diff. Yeah. Just keep it safe. We're the same. Yeah. You don't know what you're getting, but with GI bleed, you don't quite know what you're getting. C. diff, I know what I'm getting. It's a safe bet. It could be worse. It could be not, but I know what I'm getting. Exactly. They all smell a little bit sweet. We already know. Yeah. GI bleed is a pinata. I don't want to crack open. No, that's a good point. Okay. We'll do one more. Let's see if I can find a good one.

Oh, would you rather take a shit in a patient's commode privately or in the unit bathroom, but the door is open and everyone's watching? Oh, man. Man, when I was a CNA in a nursing home, I had to go so bad. And the bathroom was like all the way down the hall. Oh, no. I didn't use the commode, but I did use a patient's restroom or a resident, if you will.

And I feel like I just, I'm one step away from just using that commode, right? That's what I'm saying. Yeah. So I'll do that. Yeah. And nobody knows. Nobody knows. It's just you and your conscience. Me and my conscience. Yeah. And I'll take that to my grave. Nobody needs to know. I wouldn't tell a soul. Yeah. I wouldn't tell a soul. Speaking of shitting in a patient's bathroom, I was a sitter. I was a nurse at this time. I was sitting for a patient. We were very short staffed. Obviously, that's why I was there.

And I had called press the call light several times. I had to use the bathroom so bad, so bad. I pressed the call. I would peek my head out. It's a suicidal ideation patient. Like you can't leave him. And I was like, you know what? He's sleeping.

went to the bathroom in his bathroom left the door cracked so I could see him oh my god but I went so fast got done went and sat down someone comes in to check I was like are you kidding me I could have waited like 60 seconds yeah but I what are the odds what are the odds what are the odds but better than them wait wait wait wait

Did you do this to yourself? Did you hit that call light? You said I hit the call. So for somebody to come, please come help. And then you hit the call and you go, you read it on yourself. But I called several times like, hey, I need somebody to relieve me. I need to go to the bathroom. OK, someone will be right there, you know, and they're just busy. They forget. I was like, I'm gonna hit the call. Oh, and you gave up on humanity. But humanity didn't give up on you. Oh, no. But had they come in within like 60 seconds before they would have seen me on their toilet.

but they didn't. I didn't get caught. I just finished. I walked out, sat down. Somebody came in. I was like,

Yeah, you know the timing thing? You know, I have a really funny one with timing. I was in Boston, right? And I was in my mid-20s, right? I didn't quite know how to handle awkward situations, right? And there was a respiratory therapist, funniest dude, right? But like, he's a little inappropriate, but it's like the kind of inappropriate that it's like nobody would know except for like the people, like the co-workers, right? He's like one of those kind of guys. Anyway, we're getting ready to...

to like intubate a patient, right? And he just farts in the room and it is Artem's file. I mean, it is like, you know. - Was it loud? - Oh yeah, but the thing is though, is that that's not the, that wasn't the part that was vile. It was the smell. And then he goes, "I'm gonna, I've got everything set up for intubation. Okay, man, I'm gonna leave now." He leaves. - He crop dusted you guys. - Yeah, but I'm in the room by myself now. Now the whole medical team comes in

And they smell and they see me. It's you. It's me. Yeah. I took a hit. And then it's like, and I had to do what any respectable person would do in that situation. And I blame the patient, you know, because I can't blame the RT. Right. Because I'm not, I'm not a snitch. You're not a snitch. And also, would they even believe you? Yeah. It wasn't me. It was the RT. Where's the RT? Yeah. Where's the RT? And it's like, had to think quick. It was the patient. Yeah. I'm not, I'm not.

That would never have been me, guys. Yeah, I'm a respectable person. I'm not taking the fall for that. I didn't do that, right? No, but we're taking care of the patients. That's one thing that they could give back. Just let us blame the farts on you, and we're good. Oh, no. You could blame everything on a patient sometimes. Let's just say you're doing an IV. This is for all the new grads, right? If you are trying to get an IV, and it's your first IV, and you're so nervous—

that you're going to hurt them or something like that. And all respectable reasons why to be nervous is,

and you can't seem to get the vein because you keep blowing it, right? I like to just go, oh, it's because you have rolling veins, right? Oh, you must be- - Telling them our secrets. - Yeah, you must be dehydrated. Oh, you got really tense, you know? Oh, you're very valvey. You know, there's a lot, you know? And you just always, they wanna blame you. No, you put the blame back on them. - You just gaslight them a little bit. - Gaslight them just a little bit. Like, you know what? I'm actually really good at this,

but it's your veins yeah it's not it's not it's hardly you it's just your veins yeah and you're a good person yeah yeah but you're not you but your veins but your veins yeah that's hilarious okay well jumping back into we how we met we already talked about that but um what have you been up to lately

Oh, shoot. So I live in Long Beach now. And, you know, when I start reflecting on like my whole nursing career, right? We were talking about this. I've worked at 22 hospitals now. Yeah, just been traveling, right? And it's that thing that we were talking about earlier where you think you're doing a soul searching service to yourself to like go travel, find out where you want to go, lay down some roots. But the more you see...

You know, it's like what we said. It's like travel nursing is like online dating. It's like the more options you have, the harder it is to pick a place and just settle down. Right. We become opportunists. Right. And I've and I fell victim to that. Right. Where I I've been traveling around so much and I think I like California. Nursing is so amazing. Yeah. I started. So I work in the San Diego area now and I'm

Really enjoying it. Still doing travel nursing because I don't think I could ever go back to staff. That's how I feel. Yeah. I think staff just kind of is tainted right now for me. We left Oklahoma. We came straight to California, which I also say was not the best move because...

You get the best of the best out here. Yeah. Period. Yeah. And not to say that... I know East Coast nursing can be really cool too, but I've never ventured out that way. Yeah. Shout out to Boston and Atlanta. Yeah. It was a good time. They have great hospitals as well, but I've only been through California, Kansas, Washington, and we've lived in other states around in Arizona. And now whenever I'm comparing, I'm like...

California's the best. Yeah, yeah. Pro tip. If you're going to travel nurse, right, don't start in California because you're never going to leave and you're never going to see anything else. And when you do leave, you're going to want to come back. Every time. And you're not even going to be able to look at the next place that you go to with any respect because you're going to be like,

What do you mean you don't have a resource nurse? What do you mean there's no turn team? Resource nurse. What is this word? I don't even know what the word break meant. I'm from Texas, right? We're like, is that French? Like, what is this? What does this even actually mean? Yeah. And like over there, like they make you feel guilty for taking a break in Texas. And in California, it's like,

They make you feel guilty for not taking your break. Oh, yeah. You're going to take your mandatory break. You're going to take your break. Yeah. Mandatory. This is not an option. No. Yeah. You are doing this. And they actually help. In my experience, I've said this before online and people are like, my resource nurses don't do shit. And I'm like, in my experience, every resource nurse I've had has helped me. And I don't leave stuff for them to do. Right. But they'll find something to do. And they're like, by the way, I emptied your Foley bag. No.

And I'm like, thank you. You know what? That comes down to culture, right? Yeah. I worked at a hospital. I'm not going to name it, but I worked at...

I worked at it and it was one of those militant hierarchy type places, right? Where it's like, the weird thing about nursing, right, just in general, is that it's a profession that's unique because you don't get paid based off of how good you are at doing the job. You get paid for how long you've been doing it. You've got nurses out there that have been doing it for five years that are so much better than nurses that have been doing it for 20 years. They know more and everything. But regardless, you go to these places

And these nurses that have been doing it for like 20 years, nobody gets rid of them, nobody fires them or anything like that because they go, well, you know, that's Becky. You know, we just, we know who, you know, that's just what Becky, rolling the eyes, right? That's just how she is.

Yeah, but then these new nurses come in and then they like grill them like a steak. And then they're like, you know, how are you not like doing this? Why aren't you doing this? And it's like, well, Becky doesn't do it either. Right. And the thing is, though, is the Beckys of the world become resource nurses at some of these places. And they use that shift as like a vacation. Yeah. To like. That's true. To just like, oh, you know, I don't want to do any charting.

And apparently you don't want to do any patient care either, right? Because it's like when- I went on my break and I came back and it's still the same. It's still the same, right? In fact, it's worse. Yeah, in fact, it's worse. Yeah, like, good job, Becky. Yeah, thanks, Becky. Yeah, and Becky's a fictional name. I'm not dropping a real name here. This is the first name that I thought of. Well, speaking of travel nursing-

Can you tell us a little bit about your background before you got into travel nursing? I heard maybe you were a manager at some point? Yeah, not a good time in my life, to be honest. Oh, sorry. Oh, no. No, no, let's play. Let's play because...

It's funny, right? You go into nursing and you hear it all the time. Everybody's got ambition, right? You have to have a little bit of ambition. And it is a crazy thing to see in nursing because we live in a bubble where we are surrounded by doctors, therapists, nurses, very educated people, right? There's a famous phrase, you're an average of the five people you hang around most. And so by being around ambition all the time, you're

you become ambitious naturally through like just osmosis it is. And it's funny though, because even the dumbest person in the room is still light years smarter than so many people out there. People do not understand that. I feel like about the medical field, we, and we're constantly at a high pressure to perform well because it is expected and it is required of us. And there is no grace if we slip up. And so because of that ambition, people,

People go into the field and they go, oh, I'm not going to be in bedside forever. Right? That's the dream. Right? To get out of it. And so what my dream was, was I wanted to be the guy running the show. Yeah. I wanted to be the charge nurse. I wanted respect. Right? You know, growing up, you know, you work retail, you do these type of things. You work as a CNA. Then all of a sudden you get...

in a better position, you want to keep climbing, right? Not everybody, but some people do. - Some people, most people. - And so I went into management, right? And I went into a hospital and I'm not gonna name the hospital, but it was in Texas. And this hospital had a high turnover in management. And I was like, why don't I take a crack at it? Why don't I swing at it? I was like, let me interview, right?

And I interviewed for it and I didn't even think I was gonna get it. And I got it. And I had no earthly idea what it was to be a manager. And so I was training in management and I had a co-manager and she was great. Honestly, like one of the smartest people I ever met. I mean, truly like when I think of a leader, I always think of her. And she was like, I'm gonna give you the orientation that I never had. Well, while I was getting oriented,

COVID-19 was starting and my orientation got cut real short. You want to talk about imposter syndrome? I was going to work with literally no guidance. It wasn't like I would just go to work and they're like, we have a meeting. Did you prepare for this meeting? I'm like, what meeting? And they're like, every month you're supposed to review the data of the budget. You're supposed to talk to the controller. You're supposed to do these things. And nobody told me that because like we were so short staffed that I was having to work the floor.

I was having to perform at these meetings. We didn't have like transporters, rapid response nurses. I became that. While I'm in management, people would like laugh. Like, why are you doing this? You're the manager. And I'm like, because no one else will. Nobody else will. And the problem is, is that I think being a manager, it was like they they treat you like a waiter at a restaurant.

You know that time when you're eating food at a restaurant and your waiter goes away and you're waiting for your food and then you're like, where the hell is my waiter? But you have no idea that your waiter's on four different tables? Yeah. That's how I felt to be the manager because people went to work three days a week, right? Respectable, right? Because I know a lot of people shit on that going like, oh, you only do three days a week.

Those are hard 12 hour shifts. Those are three days that deleted out of your life. Exactly. People don't understand that it's not a nine to five. You're that day erase that from your existence of you progressing and whatever endeavors you have in your personal life, it's gone. So you technically only have four days. Like while most people,

still have those halves, right? But long story short, I felt like I was getting treated like a waiter where people, when they didn't see me, they were like, why is he getting to relax? I was working 12 hours, 16 hours, every single day. I even did 20 hours in a day. And yeah, it was absolutely insane. And of course, it's like what everybody says to nurses, you chose this job. You chose this field.

I didn't quite know what I was signing up for. I was young. I was ambitious. I thought I wanted to be the man. I wanted to be in charge. I learned a lot about not only management and leadership, but I learned a lot about myself. And I say I'm blessed to have this profession because I learned that it's not always the most fun.

To own the boat, you want to be the guy that knows the guy that owns the boat. I don't want to clean up the boat. I just want to have a party on the boat. You know what I mean? Yeah, I do. I don't need to be the guy in charge. I don't need to be the unit manager. I just... I want to be the person that supports the manager. Yeah. And I don't want to...

you know the difference between a follower and a leader and i feel like there's a lot of different ways to lead but there's a lot of liability on you and every issue that you have there's no boundary between the one beautiful thing about nursing is that when you're done with nursing you clock out you go home the problem is with management you're getting emails calls four o'clock in the morning five o'clock in the morning we're short and the the straw that broke the camel's back for me

was during COVID, we were short every single day. I did this thing where I like said, I'm going to play credit card, which is when we're short on a day, I'm going to bribe people to go, I can get you off this weekend.

Work Tuesday. I'm playing credit card because I'm going to pay for this later. But I need some bodies now, right? And I needed a day. I needed a day. So I stacked the deck once where I was like, you know what? We're always short. I'm always getting calls. It was causing a lot of problems in my personal life. I was ball and chain.

to the city I was living in because as a manager, I couldn't go home and visit my family while everybody else was visiting their family during COVID and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I couldn't leave because I was on call 24/7, right? And I had to make up excuses like I'm sick, you know, just to get a break. And even when I'm sick, it's like whatever I'm coming back to, I'm paying for it. It's credit card. So I paid credit card and I had all these people stacked on one shift and I was like, there's no way I'm getting a call now. We're five nurses over.

I got a call and they're like, you're short. And I'm like, how is that possible? And they go, oh, well,

MedSearch was short. They called in. So we had to float somebody from Tele. Now Tele's short, so we had to float somebody over from PCU. Now PCU is short. Now we had to float all these people to ICU. And that was a big transition period of COVID nursing where the ICU nurse now is no longer the ICU nurse. It's now a glorified float pool nurse. Everybody who signs up for these contracts acts surprised. They're going, oh,

well, how am I? I didn't sign up to get floated. I didn't. I didn't. And it's like, you didn't, right? But the industry has changed where the ICU nurse is now the utility nurse for the whole hospital. And you didn't sign up for it, but that's just the way the system is now. And that's what I saw happening before my eyes where I'm like, you know, these hospitals weren't doing any other... They gaslit me. They were like...

I was like, man, why can't MedSearch get their act right? Are you calling them? And they go, no, because they're not short. Only you. And the house supervisor only cares about putting a Band-Aid for the shift at that day. They don't care that the waiter is gone. It's a long term. Yeah, they didn't care that I was getting called every day because they're not there every day, right? It's the waiter thing. And so these people, when they told me that,

And I was like, how is this fair to me? Right. You know, I'm like having a moment because I'm breaking down at this point. I'm talking to like my chief nursing officer and everything. I'm like, how is this fair to me? She gaslit me. She goes, there's more things going on than just you. And then she goes, that's why we gave you all the travelers. And I was like,

Oh, am I supposed to say thank you? Because I don't feel like I have these travelers because they're falling all over the hospital. And so management, I had a, I hit a brick wall. I, you know, they, they kept putting the carrot in front of the horse. They kept going, you know, COVID it's not going to last forever. It's not going to last forever. It started in hard in May, uh,

It was December and I was like, this isn't going anywhere anytime soon. And I was like, and they guilt you. They did this in COVID. They guilted so many nurses from being able to like, they're like, oh, you know, they're going to travel for 10K a weekend in New York and everything. And I'm like, in no other profession do you ever have a nurse

or any other profession where you have somebody going, hey, you can make five times your annual salary down the street. In a fraction of the time. In a fraction of the time. Everybody would be like, you'd be dumb not to do it. But in nursing, they go...

Are you in it for the money? And it's like, let me tell you something here, dude. This is not community service. We are all here, right? Like, I'm not Mother Teresa donating all my free time to this, right? I'm getting paid for a service, right? And I'm being compensated. And that is, if I wasn't doing that, this would be slavery, dude. It's weird.

what you're saying is people say, well, I thought it was a calling. Well, if you're going to chase the money, you're not very passionate about it. Oh, you don't care about the patients. That's what we were being told. And that's like,

That's hilarious because any one of us could have went to travel, whether you have kids, don't have kids, have a family. It could have been harder for many other situations, but you have the availability to go travel. Correct. For whatever reason, you can't with your personal life, but because your colleague could, now you hate them.

Now you want to shit on them? Yeah. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. The shit we had to deal with in COVID is absurd. And then the praise we got during COVID and as it started to go down, where's the praise now? Right. Where's my hero sign? Right. Actually, take it down. I don't like the hero signs. Honestly, it irritates me. Honestly, take down the fucking hero signs. When I see them, I'm like, fuck you. Yeah, yeah. It's like that pizza party thing. It's like, fuck the pizza. I still want it. I'm going to eat it. Yeah. But it's the principle. Yeah. It's the principle. It's a band-aid. Yeah.

to cover up what you're actually not doing, which is supporting us. We're underappreciated, underpaid, overworked. Especially, it sounds like, from a manager point of view as well. Oh, yeah. I sympathize. I see some of your videos where you guys are digging on them a little bit. And then I'm just sitting there like that one meme with that clay figure just like, you know? And people just be shitting on it. And I'm like, you know, it used to be something I wanted to be like,

Manager, right? Now I'm just like, let's put that underneath the table. To be fair, I was about to say I've never had a manager role on here. And maybe it's because I've been shitting on them. And I'm not shitting on everyone. But there is a certain personality that I am shitting on. And it's the managers who leave their nurses high and dry and pretend that they don't remember how it is. You know, like you're coming in every shift. But how many managers don't? And I don't know the situations. But how many managers? I was going to ask you about like budget. Do you know anything about budget? Because that's my big... I'm like...

From an outsider's point of view, again, I've never been in there, but from an outsider's point of view, there was a contract I worked where I was floated to telly all the damn time. And hot take, I kind of think telly might be worse than med surge. It's the beeping and the noises and all the things. There was a nurse on that unit that had told me a patient threw their cardiac monitor at her head. It hit the wall. It broke about $10,000 at her head.

hit it threw it out her head she ducked oh okay hit the wall and broke damn i would my financial situation i would move into that monitor like please take me out yeah yeah y'all saw that right that's funny uh but it was about ten thousand dollars her manager brought her in to the office and reprimanded her she said that's going to cost our unit ten thousand dollars and she's like i didn't know the patient was going to throw it at me why is that my problem and she said because of the budget and i'm like i want to know more about this

Yeah. And I've got a two-parter for that one, right? The first one... And everywhere's different. Yeah. I'm sure. Yeah. Every place is different. But I will say that the whole reprimanding of what could you have done differently, right? And I've heard you talk about this before, but I just want to hit the nail on the head with you. Yeah. Is that in no other profession do you ever have...

If somebody wants to hurt themself, if I'm working at Best Buy and somebody wants to hurt themselves, I don't get in trouble if that person hurts themselves. A police officer doesn't get in trouble if somebody, you try to stop them, right? But if they are successful,

they did the best that they could. Sure. Right. You know what I mean? And you start doing that shit on an airline, dude, you get on no fly lists, right? Like they almost get there with the stewardess. They're like, screw that guy. Right. Right. But in our profession, um,

People all the time put themselves in terrible positions in life. There are only two type of people that end up in the ICU. People who either got dealt a bad hand or people who have neglected their health for so long that they ended up in a bad situation. And then we get condemned.

for not fixing them or not doing the best we could or blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, or how are they not doing better and everything. And the problem is I'm doing the best that I can, but I can't want this more than you. - Wow, yeah. - You know what I mean? - You're preaching. - Yeah, no, but I'm saying it's so crazy, right? And so that part really like, no, no, you tickled the nerve with me on that one because that one really grinds my gears. But going back into that budget though,

A funny thing about budget, right? This is one that I thought was interesting, is in the pie chart of a hospital's budget, the number one expenditure for every hospital is compensation, which is why they micromanage the crap out of it. Okay.

And the thing that annoyed me so much during COVID, right? And when I was in management, was the reason why nurses were getting paid $10,000 a week in New York City was because the US government came through and did FEMA contracts. These were emergency nurses that were enacted, right? Now, the problem is the pandemic spread past New York, and then the rest of the hospitals start getting screwed over. And then every state's going, what about us? So the government goes,

We got contracts for everybody. But that came out of the government's pocket, which meant that the hospital wasn't paying anybody, right? They have free labor. And so there was this rule at our hospital where we couldn't have nurses work more than six days in a row. They masquerade behind this idea of it's for patient safety, it's for your safety.

But when you're not paying the bill and the government is, well, then now all of a sudden we can work these nurses 14 days in a row. What about safety? We don't care, right? They lie to us all the time. Everything is about money. The whole health care service industry dies.

went from the quantity of care that we give you to now being paid and reimbursed based off of the quality of care. And so everybody, you've worked in the hospital, there's a big shift movement where Foley catheters, central lines are illegal. When I went to nursing school, it was against the rules to put levophed through a peripheral IV. You fail your test. If you did that, they would laugh at you like you're trying to

make a patient lose their arm right now they they go oh well you know if we do a culture and everything and it tests out positive right we will be giving them the wrong antibiotics they do that with the the the folies they do that with everything and it's like there's so many times i've seen like negative health outcomes for patients that deserve the foley deserved like a line right they go all just do in inside out catheters

Where do you think infection comes from? It comes from when you put the lines in, right? It's not when they're already in that we're having the major introduction to outside pathogens. It's when we keep inserting it over and over again, right? Yeah. It's infuriating on our end. Yeah. And as far as the budget goes...

They run a tight ship. There is this artificial scarcity in nursing. They always say, oh, you know, there's a real nursing shortage. You know what? I was explaining this to my father, right? Keep going. This is awesome. Yeah, I was explaining this to my father, right? My dad's trying to like wrap his head around it, right? He goes, there's so many nurses coming out of school. How's there a shortage? And I was like, let me tell you how the shortage is because it's all man-made. This is how it works. And anybody who works, I'm going to explain in ICU terms. Yeah. So everybody knows what I'm talking about.

Imagine that in an ideal ICU, right? Because I know from the South, we can operate on different ratios. But let's go two to one, right? Every nurse has two patients. Now, there will be occasionally a time where two nurses on that unit will have one patient each, right? And so that's really good, actually, right? Because now we could take admissions, right? And these patients can get seen quicker because they have a bed waiting for them with the nurse that's available.

Well, the problem is, is due to budgets and the staffing matrices that hospitals use, they will take one nurse that has one patient and she will have to give that patient to the other nurse. Now you have a nurse that can take two patients and you're probably thinking, wow, that's great, you know, but no. Then what they do is they send that nurse home.

Because we're overstaffed. Yeah. We can never be overstaffed. But we can only be staffed perfectly or understaffed. And when we're understaffed, the hospital's making a lot of money. Because a lot of nurses are working harder on less shit. And so the funny thing is, though, is that they send that nurse home. And then my father goes...

What happens if you get another patient? And I said, now we have a nursing shortage. Now we have a nursing shortage. That's how it is. That's how it's always been. And it's like, you don't think these hospitals don't have the room to be able to hire more nurses?

That would fix our problem. The question always became to me when I was in management, why don't we hire more nurses? You think I have that power? There's powers above me, right? Because these hospitals are run by business conglomerates that are not medical people. They're not taking admissions. They've never taken admission. They don't care. They see numbers. They see red and green. When we're understaffed,

We're green in the budget and they like that. And they're like, what are we doing here? Let's keep doing that here. Oh yeah. What we're doing here is our units on fire and everything's burning down to the ground and everybody fucking hates me. Yeah. That's what's happening in green. When, when it's green, you're happy. I'm miserable. When it's red, my staff is happy, but you're miserable. Interesting. Yeah. That's interesting. That's a really interesting take because I,

Like you're saying, the truth is they're pretty much gaslighting us as a culture to believe we don't have enough nurses. We do have enough nurses. We don't have enough nurses willing to work, A, under conditions that we are all brainwashed under. Yeah. Where, like you're saying, one nurse goes home and so one nurse might be tripled. Yeah. And it's like, why don't we... Or we're just...

always understaffed. Or like you said, you might be stopped that day and another unit is understaffed and we have to refill for them. Yeah. And it's a real Stockholm syndrome, right? Because what does nursing attract? It attracts a nurturing brand of person, a human that is so kind that they're willing to sacrifice a little bit of their mental health to take care of somebody else, right? And you take that person and you abuse them.

And you tell them that this is what the calling is. And that person believes it. And they get themselves in a hostage situation where when somebody's offering them $10,000 a week that could change your life, they go, yes.

You don't want to leave here. What are you doing this for? I thought you were doing this for the patients and everything. Yeah, they twist it on you. Yeah, they twist it on you. Yeah. And it's so funny, though, because it's like we get used to that treatment, like you were talking about, like where we have to go float and everything. And it's so funny because I don't like neuro ICU. I don't like I've done it plenty of times. I don't like it. But when I do a contract, I get floated neuro. And I remember telling my recruiter, I go, I don't want to do neuro ICU. Yeah.

And she goes, oh, we will not do neuro ICU. And I was like, good. Like I could do CV ICU. I could do medical ICU. I do not want to do neuro. I get there. I float to neuro. I don't complain. I do my job. I do what I'm told. But then other nurses were like, I don't do neuro. Like I didn't sign up for this. And I'm like,

Yeah. And they don't tell you that. And people go, why are they upset? Shouldn't they know that they're getting floated? And it's like, no, I can see why they're upset because nobody told you that this is what you were going to be doing. You know what I mean? I do know what you mean. That happens to me too. Like, or I mean, when, when you're an ICU nurse, I don't know where it, who decided the ICU nurses can handle all these other shit, all these other units, all these other specialties. Yeah.

Like med-surg. Like, well, you handle ICU, yeah, acutely with two people. I cannot actually handle a six-patient med-surg. It's less acuity. It's a different game. It's a different game. It's broad, but there's more people needing more of me over and over. And by 11 a.m., I haven't charted shit. I sit down to chart, and it starts all over. The new meds for six people, they all need something else. Like,

It's insane. It's an assembly worker, right? It's like if you're trying to produce more yield for a service, right? You're taking care of more patients, right? Well, it's just like any auto industry, right? If you're trying to make a lot of cars and everything, and you're trying to do it in a certain amount of time on a specific budget, right? Corners are going to be cut, right? And people all the time wonder...

why mistakes happen. And it's like, yeah, because this is all artificially made. You guys are pushing us. Well, I had an employee actually, and he was an old time guy, man. And like, he was like my work dad, right? And he told me a funny one. He goes, you know what these people do? They find out you're standing in a body of water and they find out how high can I raise this water for you to just get enough air and they hold you there.

And when the water levels move and you start inching on your tippy toes, they're like, oh, they're still okay. It's only until it starts bubbling. Yeah. Then they go, okay, bring it back down. Right. And the problem is, is we push ourselves so hard during COVID that, and we survived and we did it.

And now we're like, they're like, let's do that again. You know what I mean? Like, we're not going back. Once you let people, that's why I like these unions in California. They don't budge. You know what thing is so funny? They're like, I'm like, oh, it's okay. I don't need to take a break. And they're like, no, you're taking your break. We fought for this. We fought for this. Yeah. Yes. And I didn't understand until... We're going to talk about this. Keep going. Yeah. I didn't understand until I was like...

Oh, like it's not that big of a deal. Oh, in Texas, I've done this, right? And they go, no, because if you allow them to take a little, they'll take everything. Yes. Yes. Yes. I just had an interview, a podcast interview with a union rep. Oh, okay. Because I'm from Oklahoma and you're from Texas. Yeah. And we can tell the people after you leave somewhere that is anti-union.

Texas is most likely anti-union. Oklahoma is Texas's baby sister. They're the same. Very anti-union. I was raised anti-union. I had parents and family telling me, you never work for a union. From a child. Then in my own nursing school, teaching us anti-union propaganda. And you don't know it because you've been raised in it. That's so funny. I didn't even really think about that until just now. So then you

then you leave and you travel nurse. Now I'm telling my story. I leave, I travel nurse in California, right? Have a great contract. They have a strike coming up. I get more money for strike. I say, I want to do the strike. I'll cross the picket line. People come after me for this all the time. But if you could just understand, I crossed the picket line. I'm like, why are they so mad at me? Why are they spitting and throwing shit at me? Why are they blocking the bus? I'm here to help the patients and I'm getting more money. It's because we have literally been raised to believe unions are bad.

That's evil. You shouldn't be doing that. When in reality, unions have been around for years. And even like family members that have told me don't work for a union, don't even recognize that they're benefiting from a union from way back when. How did they get their weekends?

How did you get holidays off at one point? It's from a union at one point, but they're brainwashed as well because they live in a bubble. We left the bubble. I work for a strike. I, a bunch of people were really angry at me. I was like, I don't understand. Somebody actually sat down with me and explained what a union is and how it's, it's hurtful. There's an,

I'm just saying for me, I wouldn't work another strike personally because I don't have to. There are other people that have to work them. That's a lot of emotional baggage that you're carrying with you. It is. Not to mention, after working one, it's dangerous as fuck. The amount of people who lied on their resume saying that they were CRRT certified, that they were ECMO certified, and they weren't.

Our first shift was in shambles. We're in literally a transplant ICU and nobody knows shit. And I'm like, oh, we're fucked. No wonder the doctors are angry. Nobody knows what's going on. No wonder the nurses outside are angry. They're fighting for our rights as nurses. And so it makes sense once you are in it and you're like, oh,

Oh, a light bulb goes off. We weren't taught this stuff. In fact, we were taught opposite of it. But once you see the fruits that unions bring in California, I'm like, you guys get your full break uninterrupted. Uninterrupted. And if you get in, they get in huge trouble, very heavy fees, along with how much they have to pay us if we don't get our break. You know what I mean? There's so much more to it. And I'm like, okay.

Yeah. Okay. I love you. The funny thing about travel nursing, right, in California, this is why it's so hard for me to go back. You're not part of the union, but you reap all the benefits of being. It's great. Yeah. It's fantastic. So funny, though. Just to hit that point again, when I was in management, some hospitals did something called team nursing.

they would have nurses of like lower acuity or they would have nurses that were getting laid off like pacu nurses and stuff like that because they weren't doing elective procedures and so uh i was like hey why don't we uh you know and it was actually my co-manager that suggested the idea i suggested it too right she's the brains of the operation truly

And we suggested, why don't we get these PACU nurses that are just sitting at home collecting a check? Nothing wrong with that. But why don't we get them to start passing the medicine? You know what I mean? Help us all out because we're at a three to one ratio over here with an acute... Yeah, patients. And then they go, oh, no, we don't want to do that because there's talks of them unionizing and we don't want to upset them and everything. And I'm like...

So we're just going to like get left high and dry because you guys, because you know, the thing that's so funny is that the hospital did not want to potentially piss off or fuck over these PACU nurses, right? In fear of them joining a union. Yeah.

unions, I know there's another side to it. I grew up in the south. I've heard it. But unions kind of put the brakes on a lot of these hospitals that that want to overstep some boundaries. Yeah, you know what I mean? It is, you know, like, I'll say doctors talk to me a lot differently in California than they did in Texas. Yeah, Texas mandate. I mean, because it's, oh, you're gonna have to speak to a union rep, you're gonna have to like, you

You know, we have our own HR person in the union. I mean, they have unions are very well organized. They have their own attorneys. They have their own sector of anyone you can think of. Very powerful. Yeah. And I think nurses cling on to them because there's not a lot of support groups out there for nurses. Right. I mean, Lululemon, shout out to y'all for that 25% off during COVID. Where'd it go? Yeah. No, yeah. Where'd it go? It went down to 15. That's all I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Is this going to be like a pride month thing where it's like we get it once a year? Probably. Once a year. Nurse's month. Yeah, once a year. Rainbow flag once a year. Should be all year long. Yeah, should be all year long. God bless. Yeah. No, but the icon, icon, you guys still have that nursing discount for that. I'm all in. Screw Epic. Icon.

But yeah, no, it was just so funny though. I guess with like the, the fear that unions can, can strike in the hospitals and everything. And when I was in San Francisco, oh my gosh, they're doing it right up there. They are doing it right up there. Those nurses make bank. God,

God bless, as they should. Yeah. I mean, it's super expensive, right? Sure. It's so funny. California is like San Francisco paid very handsomely, right? Very expensive cost of living, right? L.A., not as expensive, but it's flirting close, you know? And they pay a lot less. And San Diego, respectfully, almost just as expensive as L.A. And they're making even less. It just keeps going down. They make the same amount as some Arizona nurses. That's what I'm saying. And cost of living in Arizona is getting higher, but it's...

less than San Diego. And I'm like, how are those nurses even making a living with just 36 hours a week of the full-time work? It's insane. Yeah, I do think like in these hospitals and everything, it's like nurses, in my opinion, shouldn't have to struggle to make a living

Because without nurses, your hospitals cannot run. That was a beautiful thing that I saw during COVID, right? We can operate without a doctor sometimes, right? You know, chat GPT, AI, you know, there's a lot of intelligence out there. We can do Teladoc.

We could do a lot of things. But I don't care what level of AI you've got. You ain't switching IV bags. Some hands have to do that, right? Some hands have to get me off the little, you know, off the commode, right? No artificial intelligence is going to be able to do that, right? And it's more than just nurses at the bedside.

your house supervisor dictates the flow and traffic of that hospital management right they're all nurses i mean not super upper management but

The whole infrastructure of hospitals, nurses, even people that you don't even think are nurses, dressing up in business clothes, nurses. Yeah, it's like the whole hospital runs on that. Do you think TV shows like Grey's Anatomy or even The Pit, and I like The Pit. I've never seen it. I like it. It's the most medically accurate I've seen. However, the one caveat that I notice is it's always Dr. POV, which doctors deserve their praise as well. But I'm talking about nurses right now. Nurses.

do a lot more than these TV shows. Oh my God, please preach. I'm here for you. It makes me realize that the general public watches these shows and assumes we don't do anything, but we're doing a lot of those things. And then when they're in the hospital, they don't recognize like that's us. We're the ones doing all of that. Not to say doctors don't do any of it, but nurses are

always there. But they don't show us like that on TV. Yeah, you know what I do? I always tell my patients, I always joke with them a little bit. And I'll do something, right? I had a patient drop her AirPod, and it landed behind the bed, right? It was behind the vent and everything. And I was crawling on my hands and knees to get this for her, right? Yes.

Because who else is going to do it? I don't want her unplugging the fucking vent. So I'm doing it. While I'm on the ground, I'm thinking to myself, I'm college educated. I've been doing ICU for over 10 years. I make a respectable living. And I'm on my hands and knees. In a hospital floor. Dude, if I saw my lawyer...

Crawling on his hands and knees, my respect for him might drop a little bit. If I saw my doctor, my barber, anybody on their hands and knees crawling on the floor, I'm going, what are you doing? And I'm on my hands and knees on a dirty hospital floor grabbing this poor little girl's AirPod, right? And then I give it back to her and I laugh and I go, this is the part...

nursing that they don't show on TV. They don't show the little things. They don't show the little things. And I'm telling you what, you can't have a brick house without some grout in the middle, right? And we're the grout that literally keeps that house together. And without it, it all falls apart. And it's so funny because there's so much, every single time I do something, and it makes, sometimes you do something that just makes you

mad right I laugh in my head and I go this is the part of nursing they don't show on TV I feel like we can make a whole segment of that totally like what they don't show on TV you could almost make a show you could that's what where's our show that's what I'm saying where's your show we should pitch it we should pitch it yeah

I don't have the budget for the camera crew. We'll figure it out. We'll figure it out. Put it on the notepad. No. That's how it feels. It feels like we're once again underappreciated because the people just don't know. Yeah. But then you have people too that you tell them what actually happens. We get hit, spit, kicked, bit, choked, anything you can think of. It does happen to us. Some people like that. Some people like that. Some people don't. And so we're like...

The people that you tell that to, like general public, they're like, can't even imagine because they would never treat us that way. But they don't realize like a lot of patients do. And not just psych patients. You know, some people are just assholes. Oh, yeah. Truthfully. Yeah. But some people have psych issues. But when you tell like the general public, like this stuff happens to you, they're like, really? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Especially the ER. That's so funny because whenever people like, you know, like in dating life or whatnot, just out and about, right. You have the same conversations like all the time. And the number one question, you probably get this one a lot too, is what's the

craziest thing you've ever seen. Wow, ICU. Is that really intense? Yeah, that's what the I in ICU stands for, right? Actually. Yeah, actually, you're onto something, right? You struck gold. You don't need to dig any further. You found it, right? Good job. We're very intense. And so it was so funny, though, because they always ask, what is the craziest thing you've ever seen? And I tell people all the time,

Medically, nothing fazes me anymore. You know what surprises me about everything is people. People. I'm like, I thought you existed in a movie. You're in real life. Some people are so mean, so vile. Cruel. You're like this dude, he's passed out on a bed. You don't know who you're dealing with, right? He's intubated and everything. I saw this one patient, this woman come in. I'm like, what's your name? I'm his wife.

And I'm like, oh, okay, this dude overdosed on, like, a lot of drugs and everything. He was found with a hooker in his hotel room. And then I saw another lady come in, and she's like, I'm his girlfriend. Oh, no. And, like, it was, like, they didn't overlap. Thank God I wasn't there for that one, right? But you know what happens, though, is that sometimes you get a courtside seat to some

Hot drama. And you want to find out what people are made of? Go to an ICU bed. When people are on their deathbed, you really see what people are made out of, right? And you see some crazy shit that people say, do, feel, act. It is crazy. And I'm just sitting there and I'm like, dude, I hope that I don't have to bear witness to

to the drama of the reality TV show because if shit gets crunk the manager is going to look at me and go what could you have done differently every time and they want us to write like a report I'm not writing that report why so I can get brought into court I don't want

Oh, that's a funny one too, right? I don't want to do that. Because in nursing school, they're like, chart, chart, chart, chart, chart. And it's like, yeah, the more your name goes on shit, the more they're pulling you in for questions. Absolutely. I'm going to try what's necessary. What's necessary. Yeah. I feel like I'm being punished for going above and beyond. Exactly. Okay. Moving on. Let's see. So we talked about you being a nurse manager. We talked about you moving into travel, but do you want to pivot into bullying within nursing? Yeah. Yeah. Actually, you...

When you started talking about that a couple years ago, I really locked in to like your story I really liked into your like profile and we were talking about this off-camera like a little bit earlier but it was so crazy that you were talking about standing up for somebody and And when I was reading the comments to your videos people were anonymously Attacking you through your comments. Not only did the bullying happen at work. I

But it manifested itself into your personal life. And I say that nursing is already hard enough as it is, right? We already get treated like crap by society. But not all the time. But the last thing that we need with all the pressure, the death, everything, is us not to be kind to each other. And I've noticed that in nursing...

And this is for all like the new nurses, right? Because that's when it typically happens the most is people hate to feel dumb. There's nurses out there that get belittled by doctors, people that talk to them like they're dumb, right? They could have a lot going on in their personal life. And so what people do, I feel, is they...

It's like that abused kid, you know, that gets in fights at school because he probably is getting hit at home. That's what happens, I feel like, in nursing where these people, they've been belittled and now it's the next person's turn and it makes them feel better that they know something that you don't, you know? Yeah, your journey on that, like, how did that end, by the way? I'm very curious. Yeah, I got fired. Yeah. I got fired. No, I mean, like...

You had this is before you blew up. This is before she blew up. This was this is so funny, right? This is like a hilarious moment to me, right? Because you were a smaller channel, right? And then these people are belittling you. They were saying mean things like talking about your social media and shit like that, right?

And you have a lot going for you, right? But these people, if you listen to these people, they keep you down. But you didn't, and you kept pushing through, right? After all of that negativity,

And then you had the last laugh. Look at you. You're doing so well. You're a networking genius. You're incredible. Thank you. Because when it happened, my whole world crumbled for a moment because I'd never in my life been fired. I've had many jobs my whole life. Lifeguard, waitress, anything in healthcare. I've done a lot of things. Retail. Never have been fired. Ever. I've quit my jobs. So this is the first time in my career ever I've been fired. So it kind of hit my...

Give me a little bit of imposter syndrome. Yeah. Because I thought I was doing something right now. Things to keep in mind if a new grad's listening to this. I was a travel nurse. So I am not one of them. And that was something I did not understand. I thought we could be there together and create a better environment because...

something you hit on was no one likes to feel dumb and no one likes to feel like some outsider knows something they don't not necessarily even dumb but because we have a unique perspective of other hospitals and how they run but they go this is how we do shit here yes you stay out of it type thing but I had

had very early on had new grads coming to me saying, um, you know, there's a specific nurse, couple of them on this unit that are mean, they're so mean. And it happened to be, it's not always this way, but it happened to be the older, more seasoned nurses treating the younger new grads like absolute shit. And I would hear the way they talk to them. Um, this particular day there was a student that a nursing student who was paired with one of these bullies, um,

She was belittling him in the hall, making him feel dumb. Oh, you don't know how to do that. What are you guys learning? It's just this culture of constantly putting someone down instead of letting them learn. They're not supposed to know everything. In fact, I don't know everything. I've only been a nurse for six years. I'm the first person to say, I don't know how to do that. You're going to have to show me because I don't really care if you think I'm dumb. I need to learn how to do it. But some new grads don't have the confidence to do that. And so you watch this bully grow.

get through life, get through her whole unit. Everyone knows she's like this, but it's just how she is. - Yeah, that's Becky. - It's Becky's personality. We just ignore her. Well, you're never gonna keep your core staff. They will eventually leave because you're not being a good leader. It starts with management. You're not being a good leader by allowing that to happen just 'cause you guys are besties with Becky.

You can't allow your unit to belittle each other like that. Can I say something funny, though? When I was in management, though, right? And yet again, no names. But you are removed from the bedside. I don't know what's happening at the bedside. People would all the time be like, why is this my assignment? Or they'd be like, oh, they know that I used to work at this hospital and this is my... That's why you guys do that, right? I don't make the assignments, right? Like, we actually do alphabetically, right? You know, if your last name is Wolf...

You're always gonna be in this area, right? It's not, but people, there's an egocentrism where people go like, why me, right? And it's like, and there's a little bit of like this thing where if the charge nurse, because they can make your life hell with giving you shit assignments, right? It's like, if the charge nurse is giving me a super tough assignment, is that because they think I'm smart or is it because they hate me, right? Or if they give me an easy one, is that because they like me or they think I'm dumb? Yes.

Yes. And it gets in your head, right? And it's so funny because I would have nurses come up to me and they'd be like, this person's a bully. Now, when I talk to that person, the bully, if you will, they're so nice to me, right? Yeah, they know who to kiss ass. I can't see the bully in you. Sure. Right? And then I'm like, and I'm not there for the conversation. So I'm like, is it that...

bad because I don't know. And I'm anti-bullying. Let me tell you, if there's a picket sign that I'm holding, it's the anti-bully one. Like I feel very passionate about that because I got bullied very hard going into nursing school. There's like, Oh, not nursing school. My first nursing job, my first ICU job, I transitioned from med search to ICU. Big change. It's a lot, you know? And I did, I was six months med search country hospital in Texas. Yeah. Went and got a job in Dallas and,

in ICU and that imposter syndrome. People just going like, this guy's dumb. He's not going to learn it. And these people were very hard on me. And I can go into crazy details of that, but I'll spare you the story though. But it was, I would go to work and stand in my patient's rooms. And I'm like,

I'm a decently fit person. My feet were tired. I was so tired standing, no breaks, just standing in my patient's room, not sitting at the nursing desk, just always being present because I was always afraid of losing my job and my livelihood because of being bullied. And the amount of mental anguish that I had to endure going into work all the time

I made a promise to myself that I would never treat another nurse like that. But it's so funny. The longer you are a nurse, right? I've been in the ICU for over 10 years now. Sometimes when people make mistakes, I even find myself going, how did they not know that? In my mind, right? I'm not being an asshole to them. And I'm not saying it. It's just in my mind. Sure. Right? And I'm like...

Is this going to be a multiplier when I'm 30 years a nurse and then I'm three times more? How did you not know that? It's like, what's that like Harvey Dent thing where in a Batman he goes, you either die the hero or you live long enough to become the villain. Oh, shit. Yeah. And it's like, are we just inevitably right? Because you look at like newer nurses, right? And you see that these newer nurses aren't as...

they're nicer. Right. And then you look at the older nurses stereotypically, uh, and we're like, they are, they eat their young. Right. But those older nurses were once younger nurses. Were they always like that? Is it just, you know what I mean? I don't want to ask them because that's a real rude question to be like, Hey, were you always an asshole? Right. You know, but honestly, I don't know. I have something, uh, if, if you can put it in a professional manner and say, wow, do you get away with talking to everyone like that?

Is that how you always talk? Yeah, you would hate to meet you. I promise you that. You would hate to meet you because what you're saying too is these newer nurses, regardless of what they don't know, and to be fair, I've had the same thoughts. That's the difference. So you don't verbalize it to them or away from them to shit on them. Correct. You can teach people kindly. For instance, I use this story a lot. If this nursing student is out there listening, it was a cute mistake. And I mean that kindly. I really do. Yeah.

They're following me. I'm a travel nurse with a nursing student, number one. I'm like, I don't know why you were put with me. I don't know anything about this floor, but come on, let's do this. Well, he wants to give meds. I hand him the ProStat. Okay. This patient is on tube feed and it's the kind of tube feed you can pour into the bag. Okay. So I hand him the ProStat. I'm doing other stuff. And he says he gave the ProStat. I'm like, when did you get the ProStat? Like I've been over here. Wait, I was charting in the room. I was in there. I was like, how'd you give it? He poured it in the bag of the tube feed. I mean, they're going to

They're going to get the pro stat eventually. But that's not how we do it. But it was a simple, cute mistake. But I'm thinking, how'd you? Doesn't matter. It didn't harm the patient. They're going to get the pro stat, just not exactly how they should. But it was one of those things I thought, how did this go through his mind? To be fair, I wasn't the best teacher. Clearly, I thought he knew what he didn't know. And I could have been like, this is how you do it, just in case you didn't know. So

So really it falls back on me. Yeah. You know, like a good leader should take responsibility versus shit on the newbies for not knowing what they don't know. Thank you. Beautifully said. Like, yeah, beautifully said. Yeah. No, that's, that's what being a leader is accountability. Right. Some people are bread for it. Some people aren't in a nursing. We are forced.

At a young age, right? There's like 20 year olds who are doing chest compressions on your loved one, making life altering decisions that you don't even know about. It's another thing they don't show on TV, right? I was titrating meds and then these patients' families are like,

You could do that? And it's like... It's not the doctor. Yeah. Yeah. Welcome to our world, right? But it's so funny, though, that your little story about... That would be another one, right? Like the confessionals of precepting, right? Because I had a nurse that I was precepting once. And I'm not going to mention his name. It's funny, not funny, right? Right.

But we're in the room and it's just like you, right? Where you've got to watch them like a hawk. But what you think is common sense, none of us are born with this like information like in our head. We have to learn this, right? And a lot of good nurses made a lot of mistakes and they don't make them again, right? Like a lot of things that I'll tell people, hey, don't do that. And then I'm like, because this will happen. Yes. And you know that because maybe a friend or you did it. Yeah.

No names here. It was me. But yeah. And so he's in the room and I'm like, hey, you need to give a heparin shot. And he goes, oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. And so he goes and pokes the patient and the patient goes and I tell him like, you know, you want to get the stomach, you want to grab it, you know, but I don't watch him do it. And he pokes the patient and the patient goes, ow, ow.

That really hurt. And I'm like, yeah. And I'm like making a joke. I'm like, yeah, I hate needles too, man. Right? And then all of a sudden I see my nursing student and he's got an 18 gauge needle in his hand and that's how he gave the heparin. 18 gauge. And I'm like,

Oh, that patient just said, ouch, like he stubbed his toe. Not that he got shanked by a medieval sword. An 18 gauge? And I didn't embarrass him in front of everybody. I just pulled him to the side. I'm like, bro, let me tell you something.

That needle is so huge that you can use it as a fucking telescope. You can use it as a straw to your beverage, dude. That is what you just shanked the patient with. Yeah, but it's a joke. And we're just cracking one, right? It's not what you say, it's how you say it. It is. It's all in the delivery. Like you're saying, that's the best way to do it. You do have to tell them. Some new grads get upset because you told them. Yeah.

You have to tell them what they do wrong regardless. I'm going to tell you. But I hope that you can laugh about this later. You know what I mean? There's stuff I did and I look back and I'm like, what?

What the fuck was I thinking? So many times. I wasn't. Yeah. I didn't know. I was overwhelmed. I always say, you're not dumb. You're just overwhelmed. So you're just going through the motions, hoping that you make the right one, but you're not. Slow down. You're not dumb. You're overwhelmed. Yeah. That is huge for new nurses to like know that because you're not dumb. You know your stuff and you'd be surprised how much you know. When I was in the ICU, I felt so dumb compared to everybody. Right. And I, but I learned, you know, I worked hard and then I went and floated to another unit

And I'm not saying any nurse knows any more than another nurse. But what I'm saying is I surprised myself with how much I learned when I left the floor, a toxic environment to go float to another floor. And I heard the positive feedback of being people going, wow, how did you know that? And I wasn't hearing that before because every single time I would go home after work, I

I didn't listen to music. I didn't even know I wasn't listening to music. I was listening to my thoughts. And I'm just in the car driving home going...

Am I even in the right profession? Right? Like, why am I so dumb? And when I left the unit and got positivity, it made me want to learn more. It made me feel like I was like, dude, I was in the right direction. I made the right choice. And I think we face this situation like all the time, all of us do where we beat ourselves up more than we ever should. We're so hard on ourselves. And it's like,

Yet again, I mean, to hit the point again, it's like this job's hard enough as it is. You don't need to be hard on yourself too. Absolutely. Something I wanted to hit back on because you said, not to get into too many details, but no, actually, I want the details. You said that you were bullied as a male nurse. Yeah.

And I think that's interesting because a lot of people are bullied, but majority I hear from are women. So this would relate to men. Yeah. So I'll tell you, like, I'll go back to the genesis of like where the bullying starts. And I'm going to speak for men on this one. Right. And so as far as like men go.

Nursing is a lot different than it was back in the day. Back in the day, gosh, goshly, I was in, you can tell I'm from the South, goshly. Goshly. Gosh darn it. I went to nursing school, what, 13, 14 years ago? Shit. Yeah, here we are. Shit, girl, here we are, right? And I went there, and the very first question that people would ask me would be, why not a doctor?

There was a lot of pressure, right? Because you're a man, number one. I'm a man, right? And yet again, it's like, yes, I understand the dichotomy of men and women in these situations. But there's always two sides of a coin. I sympathize. I work with women all the time.

I see what you guys go through. Yeah. And you guys go through a lot, right? And women are a very powerful force. There's a reason why they call it mother nature, right? I understand the burdens that women have to go through. I not completely because I'm not a woman, right? But as a man, we have our own like little battles. And so the first one was,

the doctor thing why are you not a doctor right and then they go a male nurse a murse right you know and it became like a funny coin term but back in the day it was like yeah like I felt like I wasn't living up to this standard that I was supposed to be living up to like from society essentially society yeah when I went to nursing school uh we had 120 people in my class

Seven of us were guys. Wow. Yeah. Now you see a little... It's not 50-50 yet, but the numbers are growing. Yeah. Right? And I try to tell people all the time. It's like, oh, yeah. It's like being a male cheerleader, right? Where it's like, dude, I'm surrounded by beautiful people all the time, dude. I get the inside scoop, right? My ability to talk to people actually improved because...

I wasn't just around ooga booga conversation with guys all the time. I was getting a more feminine sensitive side from women and I was learning a lot. I love that. But going into it, let's say travel nursing, right? That's a fun one where you go into a new place and you are expected to learn a lot in a short amount of time, right? And when I say you're expected, people are not forgiving if you don't know information, right? And so you go into a place and I remember I was in Texas, busting my ass,

getting grilled out there. And then I went to Boston. And Boston has unions. And nursing is pretty good in Boston. Shout out to Boston, man. You guys are awesome. And I remember I came in, I was young. I was in my early 20s. And I was very cocky. And I was very like, oh yeah, I got this, man. We deal with this type of stuff, all that type of business.

And everybody couldn't stand me because they thought I was like very cocky, which maybe they were right, you know? But I'd be like, oh, this is easy, man. This is Disneyland compared to where I come from, right? And they don't like that because people want to be validated in their struggle, right? So when you go to a place acting like you know everything, people don't like you. So then I took the inverse of that, right? And I went into another hospital and I decided I'm going to ask questions. And you probably already know where this one's going. People thought I was dumb. They were like, you know, they were like...

all he does is ask what does he not know what he's doing right and and it's like and we get condemned that's so interesting yeah i do know what you're talking about it's sad that it's that way they always say if you don't know ask but then when you ask it's like they they're like i'll switch it on you yeah how the fuck did you not know that right and people don't know why mistakes are made it's because we get condemned for not knowing information so i'd have gone i've

hey do you know how to insert a coup de catheter uh yeah fake it till you make it i went to the bathroom youtube it right and it's like you're scared to ask i'm scared to ask yeah yeah yeah a lot of pressure right and then it's like you go and so that's going into it right but then you go to a hospital and people start wanting to ask about your personal life right and

The number one question that I usually get is, where are you from? Right. I quit telling people I was from Texas because people get political. Yep. Right. Same reason I don't say Oklahoma anymore. Yeah. Because when you go to a place like when I lived in Hawaii, Boston and stuff like that. Right. It's different. It's different. Right. I just keep quiet, you know. And so I kind of quit telling people where I was from because it would always spark some controversy. Right.

Then people go, are you married? Do you have kids? And it's like, and what you're doing is when you give people information, the hospital's a breeding ground for talking. People love to talk. And so people would, uh, people would ask, uh, these types of questions of me. And then it's like, well, now they know my dating profile. You know what I mean? Now they know if I'm single, if I'm single and I'm talking to somebody, um,

Then they go, oh, you must be flirting. Oh, yeah. They can twist it. Yeah. And it becomes like you almost get viewed as like predatory. You know what I mean? And I'm not saying like, you know, like guys are. You know what I mean? I'm just saying there's a perception, right? That's what you've been through. You're speaking your truth. Yeah. Yeah. And it was kind of funny, though, because it's like I would talk to people and I'll never forget. I actually like.

you know, just for a social experiment, right? They were like, oh, you know, he talks to a lot of girls. Well, like, no shit, dude, I work with a lot of them, right? And then they go, oh, he's talking to girls, he must be flirting or something like that. And then I was just like, you know what, I'm going to tell one person something. I'm just going to see how this one goes. And I'm like, yeah, I'm actually gay, right? And, you know, I'm not gay, but I was just like... You just wanted to see what would happen. Yeah. And then all of a sudden...

nurses started joking with me going, oh, we know Jason likes that guy. Look at that guy. And I'm like, I only told one person. Now everybody knows. You know what I mean? And so as far as bullying and everything...

You've got to be very careful with the information that you give people, what you talk, because people like to talk. They do. Yeah, nursing is a fun sport. You learn a lot. And the one beautiful thing about travel nursing is every time you go to a place, like I said, I've been at 22 hospitals, and every single time I go to a new place, you have to prove yourself again. Yeah.

You have to rebuild your whole persona, your whole character, right? Every single place that I go to, it's like a TV show. And it's a TV show that's been rebooted over and over and over again. It's like...

I know this character, but they're being played by a different actor. And you go to these places, you always have that one person that's power hungry. The right hand man. You've got that one person that always brings snacks. You got somebody of every sort, right? And I've done so many hospitals. I go to a place and I'm like, I've seen this movie before. The same characters are there. I've seen this one. I know how this plays out. And so I get very calculated with...

the information that I'm willing to share with people, you know? And yeah, that's, it's, it's so funny because as a guy, you know, we talk about sexual harassment all the time for women. When I watch all those like sexual harassment things, it's always like some dude in an office going like, you know, if you want that promotion type shit, right? And it's like, I get it. And I've seen this training video for every hospital, every module, right? Yeah. But then it's like,

you get guys out there that like people will make comments people you know they they'll talk about my scrubs and how they fit you know what I mean and if it was the other way around if it was the other way around we'd be having a much different story or uh time in in HR right and and it's like why is that okay to talk about how my scrubs are fitting around my legs or something like that and you know and it's like what am I supposed to do with this information right

I used to work in a prison for... I didn't know that. Yeah, as a nurse when I lived in Hawaii. And I would... It was side gig, right? You know, because it's very expensive to live there. Yeah. And...

Yet again, you have to be very careful as a male nurse where I worked at a female correction facility and innately, because I'm from the South, I'm a very friendly person. Southern hospitality is a real thing. Somebody would be like, oh, you look good today. My natural response would be, thank you. You too. Right. But you have to be so calculated where you like you are a guy in this profession.

right, you need to be very careful, you know? - Yeah. - There's a lot of times where guys are placed in, women too, women too, but I'm also saying guys are placed in a weird situation a lot of times.

When I do like insert a Foley catheter in a female patient, oh, I have to make sure that there's somebody. A witness every single time. Every time. I don't play that game. Yeah. It's smart. Yeah. And it's like, that's what you have to do. You know, you have to really protect yourself as a nurse or as a male nurse because perception is everything, right? The way that people perceive you, the court of public opinion is the thing that will crucify you as a male nurse. And,

you know, you have to be very vigilant. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's crazy. But as a male nurse, they are going through these places. I've experienced like a lot of that type of stuff and everything. And, you know, I haven't been the most perfect person ever. Right. There's probably people that watch this and they go, oh, I remember him from this hospital and everything. Yeah. In my early 20s,

We make mistakes. You date a coworker. You do something that you're not supposed to do. Right. And, uh, but yeah, you get older, you learn from your mistakes. And it's like that thing we were talking about earlier. It's like, I've made these mistakes before. Yeah. I've done this before. You shouldn't do this. You should do this. I know this from experience. I know this from experience. I don't tell them it's experience because we're just like a word on the street. We're just talking. We're just talking here. Right. But yeah, you, you, you learn a lot. No, I think that's good. Um, I wanted you to bring that up cause I have had, um,

in my DMs asking about, well, what about men that have been bullied? I'm like, well, to be fair, I can just speak about bullying generally. I'm not a man, so I can't speak from their point of view. So it's nice to hear from someone's point of view. Not nice that you were bullied, but nice to have a perspective on it. I know what you mean. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, it was so nice having you. Yeah, it was a pleasure. We're definitely going to have Jason back for another episode. So you guys should tune in. But where can everyone find you? Oh, yeah. So I'm back active on Instagram. I took a little hiatus. So my Instagram is SirMasterWolf. Yes. And my TikTok is also SirMasterWolf. And YouTube is SirMasterWolf, which I'm still working on building that one.

YouTube's a different beast. Yeah, I'll leave on this funny one, right? A lot of people always ask me about Sir Master Wolf. It comes from a really innocent place. When I was in college, we used to, I'm a nerd, right? And I didn't really go out and party in college, right? We did Monopoly night every Friday. And I would have all my friends and everything come over on a Friday night.

and we would dress up in our fanciest attire, waist up, so when we're sitting at the table, we're all wearing like a tuxedo, but we're like basketball shorts, but you would never know. And we drank everything out of like a wine glass, like chocolate milk, whatever, right? And we made a toast, and we were always like, you know, saying something related to money. It's like...

to compound interest or dare I say dividends you know we were a nerd we just do that make toast speak as if we own the world and when we addressed each other we'd always go like I'd be like Lane Alexander Cox Jr. Sr. the 3rd and he'd be like Sir Master Wolf

And that's where it came from. It's awesome. I have my Instagram handle, SirMasterWolf, because I created that years ago, like over 10 years ago. Yeah. And then your social media platform takes off a little bit. And then people go, oh, are you in a dominatrix?

You know, like, what is this? And I'm like, no, this came from a place of childhood and love. You pervert. Yeah, what are you doing? But that's where the name comes from. That's cute. I like that. I've actually always wondered. So that's good to know. And then people all the time go, Wolf. Like, oh, that's a cool name. And then I'm like, what's your name? And I'm like, my name is Jason Wolf. And then they go, oh, so that's not just a nickname. And I'm like, no, that's my actual name. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, I really appreciated having you on this episode. I felt like it went really well. We're going to have the links to Jason's social medias in the description. So make sure you go give him a follow and stay tuned because I think he'll be around for another episode. Let's do it. All right. Bye, guys.