Elon's Baby, Trump, and The End of Therapy and Science | Good For You - Ep 277
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I am going to start the show by saying that I'm a stand-up comedian and I am on tour. WinnieCummings.com, you know what to do. Hi. I know I'm dressed like Timothee Chalamet at camp today and my hair has big Jason Momoa energy, but it's just I want to get the podcast out on time. Here we are. I don't talk about this person a lot, but it feels like it's time to talk about Elon Musk. I

Because, again, you know, the things that bother most people don't really bother me. And the bees in my bonnet are always not everyone else's bees. We're going to talk about Trump. We're going to talk about a couple of things. I'm going to answer a couple of questions that you guys sent on Instagram. But so now I'm listening. It takes so much to get me to care about a person that's constantly doing insane things. Alambas got me. He got me. My interest is peaked. He had a kid.

with another gal and we just found out about it. This kind of rocked my world because you know I'm obsessed with dorks and I love that this is how dorks procreate. It's like a mix of extreme narcissism and extreme low self-esteem. He's like, look, I know I could never get you with my personality, so I'm just going to offer you a million bucks and

you know, fly a rocket with my sperm over to your place. And now I get to text you whenever I want. I mean, I guess actually he's not really responding to her or something. Isn't that the latest thing? This girl, Ashley St. Claire, I think is her name. I just, this guy is like,

I'm just obsessed with his personal life because there is a level of shamelessness that is to be studied. I mean, for eons to come, we will study it. This is a guy that was in an elevator with Amber Heard when married to Johnny Depp. It was in the trial and everyone just kept moving. Like, no one thought that was weird.

No one thought it was weird that Johnny Depp was just with Amber Heard having... Like, I don't... It wasn't tweeted about. No one talked about it. See, this is why I'm finally in a place in my life where I'm not insane, but I feel insane. Because no one notices the things that I notice. Like, I'm like...

I don't know if my algorithm, my simulation, whatever I'm in, I see different things. No one was going to talk about him in that elevator. Like, did he just get a wipe from the Internet? Like, why wasn't that a huge story? Like, I don't know. I'm going to shut up because I don't want to get my Twitter account deactivated. But my real question is, why doesn't Elan just date these women? I'm dead serious. Like, why not just Ashley, whatever? Why doesn't he just marry her, have a kid?

And get a divorce three years later like a normal person. Like, I'm this whole thing of like, here's my sperm. Call me in five years if he's not cross-eyed and when he's potty trained and not still biting people like I get it. I guess most dads would probably do that if they could. But I'm treading lightly on this because Alon did lose a child. OK, I believe that is true.

I am sure that is an awful trauma that plays a part in wanting as many spawn as possible, you know? So I try to not criticize his, like, offspring hoarding thing. After my parents died, I had this crazy instinct to, like, keep things alive constantly. Like, after a death when you're grieving, like, you do weird... Like, after my parents died, I was, like, watering plants. Like, not even mine. Like, neighbors' plants. I was, like, rescuing dogs that were about to be put down that had, like, three tongues and extra eyelids. Like, you do wild stuff. Also...

I didn't even think I was going to have a kid. I thought that, you know, all the hair dye from my wild, you know, mental episode during the pandemic fried my last good egg. But after my second parent died, I was like, I need a monkey with my face on it. Like a primordial thing takes over. So I'm sure he's like on that. I do think one might say this is a loveless agreement, a loveless arrangement transaction. But honestly, Elan just picking these women to like give children to,

actually might be the most loving thing you can do for a woman these days. Like, honestly, this actually feels compared to what's going on out there, kind of romantic, actually. Like I'm not the fact that he's like, look, I'm not going to put you through all the awkward dating and the texting and the FaceTimes and the hail Hitlers. I'm just going to send you my sperm. It comes with a house and a stipend. You're going to get some hock to a coin. Your Twitter comments are going to be a little rough for a while, but you will be supported financially. And for the most

part, like, I'll leave you alone so you can actually find a man who does love you and has the ability to, you know, make eye contact. You know, he's like, I'll send you a legal zoom.

over signal. Like, honestly, that is way more humane. This is a way more humane approach than like hinge where a manager is like, no, thanks. No, thanks. White, white, white, white, not pretty. Like, it's like people are like, he's just using her on objectifying. It's like, okay, yeah, he's at least giving her the opportunity to have a child and then have the resources so that she actually can go out and date. When I had a kid,

with someone that I'm not with, it actually gave me the ability to like find someone that I really loved because I wasn't just like, you know, on the second date, like, are you ready to be the dad? Are you going to be the dad? I'm running out of time. My womb is rotting. Like I was able to like just...

And enjoy the person. So he's basically taking that worry off her plate. Right. That's it's actually a very loving thing to do. Right. And he's like, you can find the person who's right for you. I'm obviously not. And you two can stay in love because you don't have to worry about money. That's the number one thing that couples have to worry about. So he's actually setting her up to actually maybe find the love of her life.

He's like, you go find the love of your life and then I get to have more offspring. The only catch is the love of your life is not allowed to be Jewish. That's probably the only thing that's in the contract. I don't know. I do feel bad for her, though, because it is probably hard to date if you have one of Elan's kids. Like, that's a tough one. Like, if she finds a man, you know, that wants to be with her with all this, I feel like he's going to be like, all right, just a couple of questions here. Like, I think we have a vibe. I'd love to, you know, we should move in. But like, do we have to go to Mars for Thanksgiving? Like, how does this work? Like, I don't know.

Can we just lay out some of the ground rules? Like if I'm a man walking into that arrangement and like marrying this Ashley girl and like Alon's kid is running around and you're like on a compound, I don't even know where they go. But I feel like the guy's going to be like, okay, first of all, let me be very clear.

I will. The second I meet him, I will let him know PayPal sucks. Like it never works. Like are we allowed to admit PayPal sucks? Like this is like the fee is like five dollars to send fifty dollars. Like as soon as I meet your baby daddy, there is a strong chance I will punch him in the face for the amount of time I have lost.

to PayPal. Also, we're not driving a Tesla. That's not happening. I'm a real man and I will not drive around in a Nintendo Switch. I drive a truck with gas. We're not going to charge a car. It's not a whoop band. It's not an Oura ring. This is a...

I need a machine that gets us places, okay? I'm not gonna miss my flight 'cause your Hot Wheel on Bluetooth ran out of batteries 'cause it was on ludicrous mode too long. We're not gonna miss our flight 'cause your son put on the fart mode feature and we lost all our battery. I'm an adult in the world. I'm not trying to like be mean. It's not my place to judge, right?

I never judge a woman in the personal choices she makes in her 30s. Like, there is a point where, I mean, you are between a rock and a hard place, okay? I'm just, honestly, I'm celebrating this moment. I'm just glad he finally picked a brunette.

I mean, this is a victory for us. He was 0 for 0 on that for a while. I know I'm going to get in trouble for this, but I am going to defend this new baby mama. I just am. You're not going to catch me attacking this woman. It's not going to happen. And also, you don't attack her. This doesn't affect you at all. She already has to deal with Elon Musk. She doesn't need your comments about having a child with a powerful man. You have to understand, as a woman, literally, why not?

Truly, why not? Like a couple times a week. I'm just like, what am I what am I doing? Why am I doing all this the hard way? This is a nightmare. OK, instead of blaming this woman for having a transactional kid with a rich guy, maybe look at why having a kid with him seems like a good idea to any woman at this point.

I mean, you guys are out there. You're doing CrossFit four hours a day. You're in ketosis. You're listening to Andrew Tate. You guys don't have you don't have time to date us anyway. You're charging your science bracelet and the science ring that you got. And you got to go fight with strangers about AOC and and stay hard and talk about Rome and the Stoics. And you don't have time. You guys are crazy.

You guys are too busy, okay? I don't... Why can't a woman do business in her relationship? Like, truly, as someone that has not done that, it looks very appealing. Why not? Why not a business transaction with Elon Musk? Like, guys do business decisions in their relationships all the time. You guys marry a woman who will stay home and raise the kids, do the housework, that would cost you like $100,000 a year. That's a business deal. I don't know. I think she's kind of a genius. Yeah.

I say this is someone that has a child with someone who is not rich. Okay. I pay for everything. You can't come for me. I pay for the babysitter and what else. I pay for everything. I will pay for the therapy one day for the child. I'm the husband and the wife. So you can't come for me. You know, I just, it's weird. I always was like, I'm too lazy to be a gold digger, I guess, because me pretending to like someone is honestly more taxing energy wise than

than traveling to 80 cities a year as a stand-up comic. I would rather fly a middle seat southwest and be honest than fly private and pretend to think a joke is funny. That's my problem. I just cannot pretend. Especially now that I don't have Botox. Like, I am not... It's not going to happen. And I will come clean. I did ask Rogan a couple years ago to set me up with a lawns fertility guy. No dice.

I like I kind of like floated. I was like, what's up with the like, you know, like getting the lawn sperm? Like, what do we where are we on that? And he was like, LOL. And I was like, I was serious.

I do hope that she finds a father, a stepfather, you know, for the kid. I do feel very strongly that kids should have a father figure in their life. I do need my son to have a father, you know, because I need my son to have some feminine energy in his life as well, you know, to balance it out. I'm kidding. No, I just don't want to be the only person that my son blames when he grows up and realizes he's in hell. Yeah.

I do feel like this next generation that were raised are going to be like, why did you guys have me? There's no jobs. It's impossible to tell what's true or false. Eggs are $85. What kind of psycho would conceive a child in 2023? And I'm going to be like, well, son, we were inside for four years and we lost our minds. And the weed got very strong once it was legal. I am so sorry. I this is.

Are bad. I think it'll be okay. I realized the other day that because everyone's so afraid of AI and I realized like I'm not that afraid of AI. And I was like, oh yeah, no, this is great. Because when my son inevitably Googles me at some point, it's like, mom, is that you? Like yelling about dicks?

Like, I'm gonna be like, no, that's AI. It's fake. Like, I can basically say everything is fake that's real. And then I can AI things that I need. He's like, can we go to Disneyland? I'm like, it's closed. And he's like, no, it's not. And I can just like chat and be like, see the sign?

It'll be just this big sign that says closed. I'm already worried about so many things I'm going to have to explain to my son. And this story has made me feel better because at least your dad, as Elon Musk, is not one of them.

OK, I'm also not an Elan hater. I am fascinated by this. Like, also, is there like a clause? Is there a contract? You know, remember when Catherine Zeta-Jones married Michael Douglas and there was a thing that if he cheated on her, he had to pay her five million dollars or something, which I'm like, maybe just don't marry this. If you have to put that in the prenup, maybe like maybe not, you know, like for Elan, do you have to put in like for every Nazi salute I get to tell my son?

that his father's Jack Dorsey. Elan, if you keep wearing t-shirts with blazers, I do get to tell our son that it's Zuckerberg's child. Like, I would... That was actually almost...

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and becoming the best version of yourself, prioritizing your mental well-being. Visit betterhelp.com slash Whitney today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash Whitney. Please, please do it because Twitter's getting rough. Okay, so I don't talk about Trump much, but I know this is going to piss a lot of people off. So he put his mugshot, I guess, in the Oval Office. Can we confirm, Pat, this is a real story? I'm pretty sure it is.

This dude is such a thug. Like, I just, again, I'm trying to look at things that are wild with what's going on. And instead of like going and arguing about it or fighting with people or being outraged, I'm just trying to go, how can...

What can I learn from this? Like, what can I... I'm trying to turn life into a video game that's more like, how do I get something from this to move on to the next level? Honestly, I learned a lot from this. Whatever your biggest shame is, lead with it. I've approached life all wrong at this point. I do feel like when people lead with the thing about them they should be most embarrassed about, we think they're cool. Yeah.

It's a weird like like evolutionary flaw. Like everything that we think is going to hold us back has now become our biggest strength. Like Darwinism is flipped. OK, people see Trump's mugshot and they're like, he's not in jail.

And he's owning his mugshot. Like, you can't get someone who gets themselves and is proud of the things that they do. He shows off the things most of us try and hide. We all need to start doing that, dude. Those are the people that get in trouble. The ones that try to hide the worst things about them. Bill Cosby didn't curse in his act. Done. Next time you're in a job interview, honestly, just be like, hey, before you ask me any questions, I just want you to know I was ghosted three times this month.

Silver lining, now you have proof I will always be available for this job. I don't even want you to Google me. I don't want you to find this out from anyone but me. I do have a DUI. I don't have a license. Bright side.

I will literally be sleeping in the, I can't leave. This is an asset. Okay. All these people that work here without DUIs, they're leaving early. Okay. They're getting out of here. I will be here 24 hours a day. Okay. We have to just start doing this. Like next time you're on a date, just be like, hey, I'm infertile.

Open, literally open with it. Watch and watch what happens. He will fall madly in love with you. OK, once a man has the type of lovemaking where he never has to worry about getting you pregnant or panic about that, he'll never go back to a fertile myrtle. OK, trust me on this. OK, look, I have never been hit on more than when I was pregnant. And that is because I couldn't get pregnant.

I don't know. I just feel like humans have evolved to keep secrets and hide their biggest mistakes. But now the people who advertise their biggest and most shameful, you know, qualities are they're the ones that are winning the hardest. Like shame used to be a competitive advantage. But I don't I think that's over. Shameless is the new Darwinian advantage. And I don't know. I just feel like seeing that was like.

All right. It's interesting when Darwinism flips, you know, like, um, like how rich, rich people, uh,

you're like, oh, that's Darwinism. Like, because they're, you know, the more money you have, the safer you're going to be when you get to a certain level of wealth. It's actually more dangerous because you're doing risky shit like skiing and heligliding. And you got to go see the Titanic in a, you know, in a little pod. Which, by the way, you know that I think about that twice a day. You know that I still think about the guy that exploded in the Titanic because I just... Sorry. I'm so sorry. It's not funny. It's just...

God, it's truly been a year. And I still think about it twice a day because you know that the guy that made the business could have gone, oh, yeah, we're going to take you to see the Titanic. And then they go like, I don't know, 30 feet under the water and just wait there for a while, like two hours under. And then they just show a fake video. Yeah.

You know, I have a theory that all sonograms are like the same stock ones. Like there's like 15 stock sonograms. I will see different friends sonograms. I'm like, I had that one. Wait, you got that one? I just the fact that they actually decided to go look at the trash on the bottom of the ocean instead of just fake it. Like this is the time that you decide to do it for real. It's like one of the richest Walmart heirs. He like flew into one of the Tetons.

Poor people were not like, you know, I didn't grow up skiing. You're not like, I'm going to ski. You can't get on the mountain. You don't have, it's like, it's like six grand door to door to ski. It's wild. We put a mattress on the stairs and we just went down the stairs. We didn't ski. We would jump off that thing. That was our, you know, so it's when you see like people dying, private plane accidents, you're just like, huh? Like being rich at this point is actually more dangerous. Like you're going to go to Mars. Like,

Anyway, I did ask Instagram for topics, OK, which I will continue to do, despite you dorks being like every like eighth or ninth one. I'll be like somebody like, why don't you come up with your own topics? All right. Well, if I did that, we'd talk about Shirley Temple pretty much every episode and Marilyn Monroe being buried next to Hugh Hefner. I don't think you're ready for that. I would love to do that.

I would. Pat, what are the other things? The moon. The moon. You love the moon. I love the moon. You know me. You know how much I love the moon. Don't get me started on Jupiter. NASA just sent some photos from Jupiter and there's a dolphin pattern in there. Wild Mars. I'm interested in Mars, too. They found a little bit of water in a weird square.

OK, I've also been asking on TikTok, like I'm kind of liking TikTok, you guys. Like I feel like TikTok people are happier than people on Instagram. I don't know. Instagram is I don't know if it's just my feed, but Instagram's all like this person is dead and this is me and that person. Another sort of, you know, theme on my Instagram is like this. This person is it's it's my 10 year anniversary. This person's my rock.

This is the best decision I ever made. Like, are you trying to convince me or you're trying to convince yourself? Like, I don't know what this is. He's she's my rock. You're 40. What? Why do you need a rock? Is that my job? Am I supposed to be someone's rock? I didn't I have this all wrong. Do you need a rock? You're an adult. She's my rock. He's my rock. What does that mean? Can you just you know what?

Why don't you go become the person that doesn't need a rock and you let me know when you need a girlfriend. My TikTok algorithm is a lot of mental health stuff, okay? Probably because I watch the Blake Lively drama constantly, which is a mental illness. So I'm...

Getting a lot more of that. And on Instagram, I was asked about this, about like someone said, what's your attachment style? I'm going to preface this with saying I spent most of my adult life being accused of having intimacy issues. You have intimacy issues. And I'm like, okay, I guess I have to go to therapy because I have intimacy issues. And then now it's your avoidant. There's attachment styles. Avoidant, preoccupied, right? Anxious, preoccupied, frustrated.

fearful avoidant, whatever. And I get told, "You're avoidant." And I started hearing this like five years ago whenever this got in the zeitgeist, like the whack-a-mole of these new synonyms of things. "I'm avoidant." And I'm like, "Okay, I guess I need to fix that 'cause I'm avoidant." You know, I go to therapy, I read all the books. But how come every time I am with you, I don't like anything you say, I don't like anything you stand for. Like why am I the weirdo for avoiding a man who wears a rope as a belt? I don't think I'm avoidant. I think I might just be right.

It's like you have no role in this of me being avoidant. I feel like I'm avoidant because you're wearing a beaded necklace with a tassel on the end. You're working pretty hard to make me avoid you. Like, why am I avoided if I see things very clearly and know we're not a match and have high standards for how I use my time and see very clearly this is not going to work. Like, I'm mentally unwell if after a date where the guy interviewed himself the whole time, I'm avoidant.

You know it's my biggest thing, Pat. Am I avoidant or are you repellent? That's exactly it. Like where they interview themselves the entire time. Why do I love being an entrepreneur? Let me tell you why. Because I love being my own boss. How do I do it? I use ChatGPT. Is that ideal? Not exactly. Do I want to do that? Of course not. Do you even need me for this? I wish I had been more avoidant when you drove me here and in the car you played Jared Leto's band.

The fact that people have the gall to tell me I'm avoidant, like, you know, you're avoidant, you should date more. Me not wanting to sit across from a guy in a v-neck doing a bad impression of who he thinks he is, that doesn't make me broken emotionally.

I am broken, but that's not why. I think this is actually one of the healthiest things about me, that I'm not delusional, almost to a fault. I think that being avoidant actually might be a Darwinian advantage to this point. I feel like avoiding 99% of all people is truly the most mentally healthy approach at this point. Also, there's too much texting. I'm not avoiding it because I didn't respond to your text. I was on an airplane. Airplane Wi-Fi, remember how it worked for like two years?

And then it was like done. Boingo Wireless somehow manages to be like the gold medal worst company that gets to just keep being a company. Boingo Wireless is like the HP printer of the sky, like never really worked, but just kept gets to keep going. It's literally Theranos. It doesn't work. Honestly, just say there's no Wi-Fi on the plane. What Skinner's box experiment am I in?

That I'm having to keep trying to log in. I'm refreshing and freshening for 30 minutes to pay $20 to watch YouTube rebuffer stream for an hour. Like imagine naming your company that is responsible for communication between adults and a machine flying through the sky. Boingo. Is anyone serious about anything anymore? Are we serious people? I'd have to deal with Hulu and Tubi.

And if CISO, Roku, everything's like a noise. Can we, is life just a game to you? Like Boingo? A bunch of people sat in a room and that's what they let, not Sky-Fi, Sky-Web, Cloud Connect, Boingo.

Honestly, why don't you just come up to my seat on the plane and slap me in the face? Honestly, it would be less of an F you than me trying to type in Boingo and be like, is the I before the O? Like, it really is proof that teenage boys run Silicon Valley. Boingo? No one's mad about this? No one thinks that's insulting? Is this my new cause?

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I mean, making a doctor's appointment, like, you know that's not even possible. Like, you call at, like, 9 a.m. They're like, we don't open until 10. Okay, you call back at 10. And they're like, they put you on hold for two and a half hours. And then you call back at noon. And they're like, oh, we're out until lunch until 2. And you're like, okay, I'll call back. And then they close at 4. You're like, is this, are you guys a business? Like, is this a, like...

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My entire career, I think it's dumb. I cannot... I would go to a guy's house. The refrigerator just had all these giant, huge basketball-sized protein powder things. And it's always like, building, hawk. Like, the names are always so ridiculous. Dumpster, what? Like, I just... Transformer, protein is like a silver bolt. I'm like, you guys, there's no way this is...

Like, it's just pure red number five.

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I don't like that people now love all these like therapy jargon terms as an excuse for their behavior. You know what I mean? It's sort of like, I'm avoidant. That's like, that's okay. Well, you didn't avoid your ex-girlfriend two nights ago when you hung out with her and didn't tell me about it. Like, I do feel like people are now using therapy to make excuses where I'm not allowed to hold you accountable. You're just like, I'm avoidant attachment. I mean, that's like being like, you know me, I'm a Leo. Like it's,

It's that valid. Maybe everyone should avoid more. Okay? When people are like, you're avoidant. I'm like, well, you have HPV and I don't. So...

I feel like I won this round. OK, how could I not be avoidant? Have you been have you seen the news? I don't know. I just can you imagine? Oh, my God, I can't. How can anyone not be avoidant at this point? You're on a date. He's like, where are you from? I'm like, oh, my God. Google me like where am I from? Are you filming a crowd work clip? Like what is happening? Then I have anxious attachment. That was the next thing, because I was with someone who was, quote, avoidant. He didn't want to date me.

I'm not like he's avoidant. I'm like, he doesn't want to date me. Yeah, like I do think, yeah, it's a lot of like, well, he's just avoidant. No, he'll if he wants to be with you, he'll be with you. So avoidant is when you kind of obsess about the person and you're like texting them or trying to make plans with them. You think about them a lot. And I'm like, I'm not anxiously attached. I'm 40. I'm

I have like one egg left. Like, I just need answers. I need more information to see if you're worth like wasting any more thongs on. Like, I will be texting you every day. Not anxiously attached. I'm actually annoying.

that we used to just call this annoying. I can't believe that I want to go back to that. OK, like it's also the anxious. It's not not everything's about a guy, like not everything's about a guy. Like I'm anxious about a lot of things. OK, you know, a meteor is coming. Is that is no one? No one cares. Like I think being anxious right now is the appropriate response. Hey, do you want to hang out tonight? She's anxiously attached. No, I think a meteor is on the way. So do you want to

Get this show on the road. I'm just worried that a lot of people don't want to be fixed.

Or fix themselves. They want an excuse for their bad behavior. And it just, that's fine. Just say that. Like, just say that. Like, don't, you know, make me study categories with it. You know? So they can be like, I'm preoccupied attachment. That's why I keep showing up at his house. No, you don't get to go to someone's house. Well, I just go to his work. I'm preoccupied attachment. Fix your brain, dude. You don't get to say you have a permanent thing that makes you forever make bad choices. Like...

It is so wild to me. I just I do think we will look back in 30 years and be like, remember when we just like we're OK with nobody being accountable for their choices because everyone's self-diagnosing each other off of like a Chinese app? Like and and they were saying that their bad behavior was because of their like love language instead of just acting like an adult. That was wild. I feel like it's kind of like Botox. I feel like we're going to look back at Botox and be like, remember when looking at women's emotions before?

was so annoying and ugly that we just froze their faces with needles. Remember when we liked young girls so much but couldn't act on it that we made the beauty standard so that women started putting pig poison in their wrinkles to look young forever?

We're going to be like, oh, that was weird. I did a whole special on how women shouldn't be called crazy. And honestly, I regret. I honestly miss the word crazy now. This has made me miss the word. Can we just go back to calling people crazy? Like, I never thought I would say that.

He's like, that bitch is crazy. Like, honestly, I think that's better, you know? I didn't realize that taking a word away would mean that we'd have to, like, learn psychology, astrology with all the new styles and languages. Like, someone told me my love language was words of affirmation. He's like, your love language is words of affirmation. And I was like, it's your, Y-O-U-R-E, with no apostrophe. If you can't spell every word in the English language, you don't get to have a love language.

My love language is that you need to properly speak the English language and then we'll move on to the love. Here's where women messed up is making the love languages anything except gifts. My it's like I'm not shallow. Just my love languages gifts.

And, you know, my love language is just paying my bills like they should have been a little more clever with the ones that they chose. My love language is like monogamy. Like also keep it kind of simple. Like the fact that women had to make up a language to con men into holding their hand in public.

Like, my love language is physical touch. Can you just hold my hand in public, please? Can you not throw my hand down when we walk into the party? No, like, I'm not, I just, like, he doesn't like you. Sorry.

unhinged. Someone also asked me a question on one of whatever Instagram or whatever about like, do you read the study about how boys and girls do this? And I just I didn't even read it. I didn't even Google it because I don't do studies.

Nope. I do take my son to parks now and play dates. And the moms, they always, they want to talk about studies. And then guys want to, you know, the studies and the studies and the studies. It is so hard to bite my tongue. Okay. The most common one I hear is, you know, girls mature faster than boys. How does no one think this is weird? Right.

There's no, there's nothing weird. No one questions that. First of all, why was this ever a study? Like who was like, you guys, okay, let's see who matures faster.

Little boys are like who needs this information who just you know what if you want to know if girls or boys mirror Just look around the park just go to the park look right You don't have to build a glass box to put them in does anyone need proof of like who care you know what um? How about if you're someone that wants to find out if girls have it just hang out with your own kids? Why are you bringing other people's kids into it?

The only person who would need proof that girls mature faster are creeps. This is a study for creeps. This is a study to help creeps be grown. Literally, I will. What do I have to do to get in a cage with the creep who set up a study to watch young girls play to see how mature they were getting at what age? I will fight you.

Why do you need to have other people's kids come in so you can observe them through a glass wall? Just hang out with your own kids. Study your own kids. If you want to be a scientist who studies kids, you just have to have kids. Or if you don't want to hang out with your own kids,

Ask the babysitter. Why do you need to spend taxpayer money? Probably Epstein's money. You know that he dated a ton of money to science. I feel like that was on the top of his list at Harvard. Like, hey, can you guys please just prove that girls mature faster than boys? This is how weirdos justify stuff like that. Girls are more mature. They grow up faster. This is how they should date. Boys mature later. It's their way of discouraging young girls to date boys their age.

You know what I mean? Oh, they're not mature. They don't mature till they're 25. Like that boys mature later. So girls to date older men. This whole thing has been the basis for younger girls dating older men. It literally only benefits them. There's also there's no way to prove it.

How? How is it that do girls mature faster than boys? Well, if their parents put them in studies to be stared at by some university creeps, yet the kids are going to be mentally ill anyway. You may think what you're looking at is maturity. It's actually just disassociation from having parents who drove them to a laboratory every day for grown men to watch them with a clipboard for $50. They're not even we can't even trust anything we see from them. OK, people will say, like, girls mature faster. Like, I don't know.

Do they? I have a lot of girlfriends in their late 40s who still go to Coachella and put feathers in their in their hair with and then they have a strand of glitter. They put they put in strands of glitter. So their hair, they just look like seaweed washed up on Fire Island. Forty five years old. Can't even get their MLM going.

I don't know. And I know men who are in great relationships with awesome women at 30 who are a little dorky, but are mature. I know. But I know a woman who's 40 who is just now training to be a life coach, even though she's blown through two colts in three years and is addicted to NyQuil. I...

I don't know. She spends most literally spend most of her time posting about what timeline we're in and how the pyramids were a power plant. So I don't I don't know. And she believes she should charge money for advice on how to make good choices. So are women more mature than men? I also define maturity. What does maturity even mean? Who decides what it is? The scientists are like in the study, eight year old girls were sitting very quietly and the boys were banging on the walls.

So the girls were mature and the boys weren't. Well, yeah, the girls were frozen in fear because they were in a room with weirdo men and the boys were trying to get out of the room. They were banging on the walls. This is very easy to explain. Can we do like a catch a predator type thing that's like a fake study? And when the parents show up with their kid to be studied, we can just call CPS and get the kids. Like there's there's this video that keeps coming up on my Instagram and it's babies next to giant snakes. Have you seen this, Pat?

There's babies and it's like babies aren't afraid of snakes. Here's how we found out. And it's the parents are like freaking out and there's all these snakes around the babies. I'm like, if this person lets their child be in a study with snakes, this is the least scary thing the child goes through on a daily basis. A snake is a respite from the from the madness of this mentally ill woman who thought this was OK. You know what they also aren't scared of? Guns or cliffs.

They're not scared of anything, you idiot. You should do a study. You know what? Why don't you do a study where you let babies walk toward a cliff and see what happens? They're not even scared of that. What are you? Like, this is driving. Well, also, why are you filming it? Stop filming. Little kids, you guys. So those are the things that I'm currently obsessing over. What else, Pat?

What am I missing? The major study in 2013 was from it was in 2013. There was one in 2013 at Newcastle University, UK. We're in Newcastle University, UK, around the same time that Gary Glitter was still running around hospitals. Yeah. And the two lead scientists are from Korea. The two lead scientists are from Korea, but they did it in England.

Yes. That's not weird. Not weird at all. South Korea or North Korea? South Korea. The plot thickens. I don't, there's just, you know, when I'm picking a hill to die on, I'm pretty, you know, I spend time and I do believe this is the big one. I'm a dog with a bone and I just, I can't with, because you know what else? How about this? Sorry, this whole part has felt a little bit like, like,

This is bad. Why don't men hate this study? Why don't men... Things that are also sexist toward guys, it's just like, men are idiots till they're 25. Maybe it's these dorks, like, you want... It's another excuse for people to just be like, I'm... I don't mature till I'm 25. You know, these men... Like, there's men that are 21 that fly planes in the military. You're telling me they're not mature? Like, what...

I this. Oh, because it's an excuse for guys behavior and pressure for girls to be more mature. I have to stop. My OCD has kicked in. I'm a dog with a bone. Love you guys. I'm adding, I think, like 20 more cities. I'm going to be in Cleveland and I'm and by the way, if I'm not coming to your city, it means I was just there. Unmute me. Don't scroll so fast.

You psycho? I was just there. Tulsa. I was literally just... Dallas. I was literally just there. Those are the people like, wow, you're not coming to Dallas. I'm unfollowing you. I'm like, I was just there, homie. All good. I'll be back. Because I still want to get the love and validation from my dead dad. All right. We'll see you soon if the meteor is not here first. Love you guys. Don't ride elephants. And goodbye. Bye. Bye. Bye.