Breastfeeding Rows and Fathers Day
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They profit tax-free from our legal system, while U.S. companies are tied up in court and American families pay the price, to the tune of $5,000 a year. But there is a solution. A new proposal before Congress would close this loophole and ensure these foreign investors pay taxes, just like the actual plaintiffs have to. It's a common-sense move that discourages frivolous and abusive lawsuits and redirects resources back into American jobs, infrequently.

innovation, and growth. Only President Trump and congressional Republicans can deliver this win for America and hold these foreign investors accountable. Contact your lawmakers today and demand they take a stand to end foreign-funded litigation abuse.

Hello, hello and welcome to another episode of Telling Everybody Everything, coming to you from the Dakota Hotel in Leeds. We have decided for this week of tour, which has been Grimsby, Middlesbrough, Sunderland, Lincoln tomorrow, that we would satellite out from Leeds.

And you know, the shows are so much fun. Annie is rubbing off on me because Annie is an admin y'all dem. Annie is the one to just really inspire me about how to be a grown up. Annie has got Excel spreadsheets for absolutely everything. Annie knows how much tax she

as a self-employed freelancer. She has to pay quarterly because she forecasts it fucking somehow and puts it into an account where it accrues interest until it comes out on the allotted day. And that is not how I work. I get a phone call or an email actually from Matt at my bank and he's like, hey, this much taxes due now. And I'm like,

Okay. And like not bragging, but it'll be like literally hundreds of thousands of pounds. And I'm like, oh, all right. And I pay lots of tax in case anyone from HMRC has enough fucking humor about themselves to listen to this podcast. Use it for the nurses and the schools and the roads.

Anyway, I'm getting better because of Annie. And June is a very admin-filled month in the Ryan Kutstra household. A lot of you will have picked up via Hello Magazine or my husband's Instagram or my last podcast or a few little mentions on my Instagram that I'm pregnant again. I've not like showcased it much, honestly, just because this is what happens. You have...

more kids and they just disappear from like the family photo album and already I would have had like bump photos up with Fena, certainly not Fred. We just kind of ignored Fred's pregnancy until like a week before he was born. I did the most iconic reveal of my pregnancy with Fred. It was lockdown so it was easier.

But it really flopped because nobody knew the SNL Cardi B reference where she appeared in a tight-fitting white dress, pregnant with culture, her first child with the recently disgraced offset, and she sang Be Careful. And that's what I did at my live podcast. I got the same dress, huge 40-week pregnant bump.

And I came out going, I want to get married like Tilly. I don't remember the words now. Be careful with me. Because he'd been cheating. And he never stopped cheating. But anyway, people at the podcast were quite confused. They were like, what is this reference? And why is she 40 weeks pregnant? Ta-da!

Um, maybe I should talk a little bit more about my pregnancy, especially for even though, you know, there will always be people who are navigating infertility or pregnancy loss, or they're trying to conceive. And maybe that's another reason why I don't like shout it from the rooftops on socials, it can be really traumatic for people and they don't want to see it. And I'm so sorry about that. I have been described as someone with infertility again and again.

And I always feel like I don't have infertility. I've been pregnant seven times in five years. I just have miscarriages, which I suppose does qualify as infertility. We do not have fertility treatments, though I go to a fertility clinic for autoimmune support.

I have a variety of autoimmune diseases. We don't know why. I don't feel particularly sick with them so far. I know that I have lupus and celiac, though, I mean, who really knows? I think my lupus is kind of some other connective tissue disorder that's not named just because it's so different to anyone else's lupus, but whatever. For that, once again,

I am taking 400 milligrams a day of hydroxychloroquine. I also take 150 milligrams every evening after meals of baby aspirin. This will be recommended, I think, in a lot of pregnancies over 35, but specifically mine because of autoimmune disease. I do not have an anticoagulant disorder disorder.

that is really sticky blood. It often goes hand in hand with lupus. And even with people who don't have lupus, I don't have that, but it is still in my interest to take a blood thinner so that more nutrients can go through my placenta. I have been accused.

in the past of having a shit placenta kind of like they just doctors get weird with you when you're old they suggest that you deliver early because your placenta will fail they suggest that your baby's small because your placenta sucks and that is a concern I love that it's something that they're looking at but Violet was eight pounds Fred was seven pounds and Fena was six and so time and time again they're like well it is because you're getting older each time and the placenta sucks

I don't think that is the case because Fena is still small. I think Fena was six pounds because Fena is small. She's a small girl. And this baby so far is big. Could that be because in my other pregnancies, I was taking the aspirin at different times of day and I only recently learned that it's best to take it in the evening? I don't know. Because your placenta, like while you're sleeping and hopefully sleeping on your left side,

delivers the most nutrients at night. I don't know, but that's what I've been recently told. By a very well-respected celebrity consultant that I have booked, Bobby refuses to let me have another baby at home because he was a little bit scared when Fena came along and I said, "That's fine. I'm willing to compromise." What Bobby doesn't know is, well, he should, is I have in the past had very precipitous labor and I don't know if we're gonna make it to the hospital.

So in the case of Fred, we were at the hospital for 19 minutes and I paid so much money to be there. No drugs, no consultant, no refund. That was no one's fault. But I'm worried it's going to happen again, that we're paying for the advice of this amazing consultant and he's worth every penny and more. But like, are we just going to end up delivering at home or in the car? I don't know. It's no time soon, though.

It's no time soon. A lot of people ask for the due date. I have a policy where I do not give this, and that is mostly to avoid family visiting. But it's no time soon. I'm in for a fat girl summer like I told you before. I took clexane in the first trimester because that is an injectable anticoagulant, blood thinner. It does sort of a different job than aspirin, but that is what I take for miscarriage management.

That won't help you if you have a chromosomal issue with the baby that causes you to lose your pregnancy. But, you know, we never know what's going on until it's too late. We don't know why I have lost pregnancies in the past. One of them we know was a chromosomal issue. The last one in September had Turner's syndrome, unfortunately. But before that, we never really got an answer.

It could have been my autoimmune disease. It could have not, but it's best to err on the side of caution if so. If you are experiencing repeated pregnancy loss or you have autoimmune conditions, don't wait to have three miscarriages for someone to treat you for that. You can have your NK cells tested. You can have lots of autoimmune protocol tests to find out

If you have elevated autoantibodies that could attack a healthy growing embryo. This might be the case if you are getting pregnant but not staying pregnant, if you have implantation issues, or it could just be your husband's dodgy sperm, which we are learning more and more about all the time.

I keep seeing TikToks that are like, we never tested the sperm. Basically, if you are in the 95 percentile of shit sperm, you still pass because it's got like a 5% pass rate. And dodgy sperm can give you preeclampsia. It can give you a faulty placenta. It can cause lots of issues that would make a pregnancy end prematurely that aren't your fault. It's no one's fault, right?

But I'm just saying women were told for a long time that it was all on us. And you can take comfort in the fact that it's not. The final thing that I do for autoimmune protocol, you might have guessed like the people in the know will have seen me getting IV infusions.

uh, like months gone by. My sister knew immediately. She was like, you don't just get those for fun. Yeah. I get, um, IVIG intravenous immunoglobin, which is healthy antibodies from healthy people that is like diluted into this, you know, IV bag that you get.

And I do that like four times in early pregnancy. You can also do something called intralipids. But anyway, that is my full autoimmune protocol. And then I really adhere very strictly to my gluten-free diet. Although I've cheated a couple of times now just because I'm fat and hungry. But actually, I have a pattern of like,

losing weight early in pregnancy because I'm so sick and then I gain it because I'm eating to stop being sick and then I feel well and then I'm eating because I feel well. And then pretty early on actually the baby starts to take up room where it's crushing your lungs and crushing your bladder and crushing your stomach and then my weight sort of evens out because I cannot eat as much as I was eating in the middle times.

So I've gained a lot of weight already. And I told Bobby, you watch, I'm going to start losing weight. And he was like, you are a toxic as fuck. And I was like, I'm not going to like drop weight. I'm just going to even out. You watch, I will even out.

get myself together for summer, not deprive myself, but I just can't breathe. Like in Leeds yesterday, I went for a walk to get a pregnancy massage at his beautiful Thai place. Last minute, I booked it online. I love when you can book online and you can pay online. That is a dream. But the struggle with a pregnancy massage is that nobody really touches you. They're scared to

activate any type of early labor they won't do reflexology they're very gentle they basically just like tickle your shoulders and I'm like fuck man I have like pinched nerves in my lower back my legs are like heavy as an elephant's will someone please massage me so you know I'm a dodgy person like I have gone into massages before lying about my pregnancy so that I can get a proper massage but at this point the cat's out of the bag and I can't do that anymore

fine. I also will not be able to have a glass of white wine on a rooftop in New York next week because I'm obviously pregnant and they're American. So they don't, you know, in Europe, let's say I went to Italy and I said, can I have a very small glass of white wine with my dinner? They'd be like, of course you can, ma'am. We trust you as an adult who has four children to know your limits and not to get drunk. But in America, they'd call the police. I'm pretty sure. So

No small glass of white wine for me. I forget what the recommendation is now. I think the official rule is that like absolutely no alcohol is cleared for pregnancy. And you know what? Absolutely no alcohol is cleared for life. Like it is not something that's like a vitamin. It's not going to help you. I think it is inflammatory. It's like a toxin.

But nobody's saying that you should like drink two glasses or God forbid a bottle of one or like get wasted in your pregnancy. Come on. I had a girlfriend once. I had coq au vin, which is like a chicken dish that contains red wine when I was pregnant with Violet.

And my girlfriend at the time was like, Catherine, you know, one of our friends does have fetal alcohol syndrome. And I wouldn't want you to give that to your baby. And I was like, are you high? Like she also was placed for adoption because her mom was like a full smack head. Like, please do not compare us. Anyway, don't drink is the official advice. And I don't. I haven't had a small glass of white wine in a really long time, but I would.

But I would if I wanted one with dinner because I'm European, but not in public. Okay, speaking of, oh my god, controversy with babies. A lovely woman, Karen Millen, don't know a lot about her. I don't even think that she's at the helm of Karen Millen fashion anymore. A lot of these designers will sell the brand on, like Jimmy Choo I met at a party yesterday.

He is no longer the boss of Jimmy Choo. Like imagine like you don't even own your name anymore. It's another company. I think I went to Tamra Mellon for a while and I don't know where it is now. But anyway, beautiful shoes. Jimmy Choo, still a fan. Love the bags. Karen Millen, you might have heard of Karen Millen, you know, fashions. And I enjoy Karen Millen. She was on formerly Jeremy Vine, now Vanessa Feltz show this week.

And, you know, I think the general public are not necessarily informed about what goes on on these shows. Let's say you pop on, you know, Sunday Brunch, Saturday Kitchen, Vanessa Feltz, like Loose Women, any of these shows, you will be there to promote something. God knows what Karen Millen is promoting because I didn't see the actual show. I've just seen the clips that have gone very viral online.

And while you're there speaking about the subject that you have been invited to discuss, they will ask you about other things in the news sometimes. They'll be like, oh, by the way, what do you think about Jojo Siwa and Chris Hughes and that photo where he's cradling her like a newborn baby? And Miley Cyrus joke that she was going back in the closet to look for Jojo. Ha ha ha. What do you think of that? And you might just be briefed on this five minutes before in the dressing room.

And you will not be an expert on the subject. You will not have researched the subject. But since you're there and it's a friendly like morning chat, you weigh in. You go, well, my opinion on that is the following. So that is what corner Karen Millen found herself backed into. She came on the show. The subject of breastfeeding somehow came up. I think there was a woman who was breastfeeding late into like five years old. I don't know.

I don't know. None of us know because we only saw a clip out of context. And then Karen Millen said, and I'm paraphrasing, that you shouldn't breastfeed that late and that if you do so, it's for your own selfishness and the child might be bullied and there's no medical need to breastfeed after six months. It doesn't take a genius to look at Karen Millen and go, all right, she's from a generation where that might have been the advice. When my grandmother gave birth...

She didn't breastfeed at all because formula had just come in. It was considered barbaric to breastfeed your babies. And the midwives and nurses would advise you in Canada at that time, 1960, whatever, to use formula. That was her upbringing. That was her culture. My grandma was like, ew, I would never breastfeed. Why would I do that when there's formula available? Which I am sure...

that the formula companies marketed it as better for your baby than your own milk. And at that time, it probably was because the moms were smoking and drinking and starving themselves. Great. So then again, when my mother had me breastfed for a little while, but ultimately, formula was not a problem. It was not frowned upon. And moms were busy. Now moms were in the workforce as much as dads.

And dads were not helpful at home in the 80s. Don't get me wrong. But like formula was absolutely encouraged. Karen Millen, I think is about my mom's age. No offense, Karen. I don't know. You look great. So does my mom. And so that's her opinion. Holy shit. Breastfeeding moms have a chip on their shoulder. And I understand why.

Because there's loads of misinformation out there. They've been shamed. They have their own trauma from how complex breastfeeding actually can be. All of the different complications. They probably had mastitis. They've probably had to breastfeed in a loo. Someone has probably told them to put their tits away. They stayed up late alone with postpartum depression crying because it feels like hot vinegar coming out of your nipple, especially the first time you breastfeed. It is hard.

They had feelings of inadequacy because maybe their milk supply wasn't what it was. Like these women, they're balls of trauma from breastfeeding. And so they make it through and then they hear someone discouraging other women from breastfeeding and they lose their fucking shit. They're like, how dare you say that? This is so damaging. No one should be given a platform to spread this misinformation. You are doing so much harm. Okay. Okay. We understand like that you are hurt.

I am on team breastfeeding. I totally get that hurt. I have been breastfeeding for the last 16 years on and off. I have hated doing it in pub toilets and it has hurt me from time to time. I've had mastitis. I've had big open sores like a weird blister on my tit. I've felt badly because when Fred was born,

The summer he was born, it was really, really hot and I was dehydrated and my milk supply wasn't what I wanted it to be because he had reflux and he kept throwing up all the milk. And, you know, it's not straightforward, but I'm not mad at Karen Millen. I would not go out of my way to cancel this woman online. She did not go on the show as an expert or like from any association of breastfeeding. Like a woman your mom's age, like,

is allowed to go on a breakfast show and answer a topical question of the day and get it wrong. You can disagree with her. You can absolutely stitch that clip and go, look, this is misinformation and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Fine.

I disagree with Karen Mill. You're allowed to disagree with people. Do you remember the good old days when we could just disagree with people and stand firmly in our truth and go, okay, I'm going to trust that women who are breastfeeding have enough sense to make their own decisions based on what's right for them and their family. Use formula if they wish. Breastfeed if they wish. Get updated advice from their doctor or midwife.

if they wish. Why do you think it's your responsibility to shout down Karen Millen because you think everybody else having a baby is too stupid to make a decision for themselves? I get it makes you mad. And if you have an issue, it's with the show. Write into the show and respectfully say, can you not ask people their opinion on subjects like this that actually matter? Or can you at least have an expert in the room who

to moderate the discussion and go, oh, interesting you feel that way. Right now, medical advice is that is incorrect. And there will be lots of people who think you shouldn't be breastfeeding a three-year-old. But equally, she was wrong in saying that there's no benefit to breastfeeding beyond six months. I think right now it has been proven that there is. And even that is controversial to say because it makes women who are formula feeding feel bad.

It's always going to be something that the tabloids love to pick up because it's so contentious. No matter what side of it you're on, you're going to make somebody feel bad. Formula is fine. Breast milk is fine. Both have their positive and negative points. There's mental health implications. There are rather mental health implications for both choices. Nutritionally, let me tell you what my kids are eating right now. Fena eats only charcuterie.

Only charcuterie. This chick eats like sausage salami, olives, cheese. She doesn't even like bread. I think she's celiac. She doesn't have any symptoms of celiac, but she doesn't like she naturally does not like bread or pasta. And neither did I at that age. I am very troubled by the amount of processed meat that this child eats. But we've got to pack in her lunch like a fucking chorizo and cornichons because she's strange and she'll eat rice.

If she's in the right mood, she'll eat chicken, but she hates fruit. I can get her to eat apples if she dips them in Nutella, but other than that, it'll be like snacks, dried fruit, and like cured pork. What the fuck? Fred eats one apple and one banana a day. Great. Fred eats eggs in the morning. Fantastic. Sometimes he wants egg fried rice in the morning. Fine.

For lunch, he'll eat a cheese sandwich and another piece of fruit. He hates chocolate and sweets. And then in the evening, he will eat spaghetti or pesto pasta or rice. That is not nutritionally sound. They don't take multivitamins. They drink water. They still drink milk in bottles and they still have pacifiers. I'm not trying to judge anybody else.

Did you know that foreign investors are quietly funding lawsuits in American courts through a practice called third-party litigation funding? Shadowy overseas funders are paying to sue American companies in our courts, and they don't pay a dime in U.S. taxes if there is an award or settlement. They profit tax-free from our legal system, while U.S. companies are tied up in court and American families pay the price to the tune of $5,000 a year. But

But there is a solution. A new proposal before Congress would close this loophole and ensure these foreign investors pay taxes, just like the actual plaintiffs have to.

It's a common sense move that discourages frivolous and abusive lawsuits and redirects resources back into American jobs, innovation, and growth. Only President Trump and congressional Republicans can deliver this win for America and hold these foreign investors accountable. Contact your lawmakers today and demand they take a stand to end foreign-funded litigation abuse.

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So the level of admin this week has been off the charts. Spread is starting a new school. Violet, God willing, depending on GCSE results, is starting a new school.

Even though I am the working parent, I am also the mental load parent. So I have been filling out direct debit forms, medical forms, consent forms, all of the things that we need for the new school. Fred needs a new uniform and this uniform. I'm going to have to like paste a calendar of like what to wear each day on the wall. And I'm really worried about Fred's whole sensory thing. The trousers, they look itchy if I'm honest.

I'm going to have to find like a Japanese cotton dupe of school trousers or else, I mean, Fred is going to be naked from the waist down.

I have to say, I was so proud of Bobby this week. He took Fred to, like, meet my reception teacher day. And Fred is really triggered by this school anyway. It's a beautiful school. We were so lucky to get him a place. But he's just fallen in love with his nursery. It took...

what two years of adjustment he knows where he's going he trusts his teachers he likes his friends and fred is all about trust i understand that some kids they will cry for five minutes and as soon as you're out of the room they're happy and they're playing i think educators need to understand this is not fred like we know how to deal with fred fred is fred

Nothing in the email about intro to reception suggested that Fred would be without his parents.

And I was on tour, so Bobby took him. And I said, yeah, you're just going to go. And, like, I think Fred meets his teacher and sees the classroom. But Fred also remembers. So he remembers us trying to drop him off there for assessments. He understands enough about school to know that this is a place where he will be abandoned at least for a few hours. There's no, like, tricking Fred there.

and that's what fred hates the most is like trickery when when people try to distract him or bribe him or when they lie to him like fred will never forgive you so i was out of town unaware that bobby arrived and all the other reception kids were there which in fairness it's a very small school it wasn't that many but they announced oh the children are going to play for an hour and a half and you are going to be taken off for a presentation

And Bobby heard that and just felt tense. And Fred heard the same and knew exactly what he meant. And he said, no, no, no, dad, you're not going to leave me. And Bobby said, you're right, Fred. I told you I'm not going to leave you. And I'm going to stay with you all day. And Fred will check in like you all day. You're going to stay with me all day. You're not going to leave. No, Fred. So Bobby had to go with Fred to the reception room. And we were very lucky that they allowed Bobby to do that. Bobby was the only parent there.

And the other parents went off for whatever is involved in a reception presentation. Like, how much do they need to know? They've already signed up to the school, paid the deposit. They've done the tour. There's a handbook. We know what day swimming is. We know the uniforms. You know, you can get everything from the handbook. And I don't participate in this culture of, like, meetings that could have been an email. So...

I was very proud that Bobby stuck to his guns. He didn't trick Fred. And he said, yes, Fred, I will stay true to my word and I will come with you to the reception class. And Fred wouldn't relax for the first few minutes. He was like, okay, there are no other parents here. I think my dad is going to do the dip any minute. And Bobby just stayed. He tried to like back out of the game a little bit and stay by the wall. Fred eventually got comfortable and realized that

And like, I will never understand why Fred doesn't trust us. We have never, ever tricked him before. We haven't. If we say we're going to stay with him, we're going to stay with him. But this kid has zero trust. So like eventually he started to have some playing with the other kids and he was answering some questions from the teacher. Like Fred has really come out of his shell. And I think he will do brilliantly in reception because when he feels like it, he's really articulate. He's really friendly. Yeah.

He understands what's going on. If he feels comfortable, he performs very well. And he's friendly and he's kind. Like he, if anything, he's too kind. Like if anybody snatches something from him or is aggressive, he will be really upset. But he was interacting really well with the kids. And then a teacher said, Bobby, come on, you can sneak out now. And Bobby was like, uh, trust me. It is in your benefit that I don't sneak out.

Like for the good of your interactions with Fred all year, I cannot sneak out. I can't. I have to stay here like I said I was going to stay here. Please don't think that I don't have normal kids at home. Normal Fena, we'll drop her off and we'll leave and she'll be fine. Fred is not in this category. Like we have to stay here because we said we would.

And guess what? We will leave Fred alone in the nursery class come September. We will in the reception class.

But what that's going to take from us is we can't tell him too soon and we can't tell him too late. We're going to mindfully introduce the idea of Fred being there alone. We're going to say, you know where you went for your assessment twice that you kicked off at, right? And they let you in anyway. Then you know where you went for like meet my teacher with daddy and daddy played with you and you had so much fun and daddy didn't leave. Right?

Well, soon you're going to be a big boy. And just like you go to nursery with your friends and your teachers, you're going to spend a few hours playing there with your friends and your teachers. And daddy will leave and daddy will always come back and get you. And Fred's going to be like, what? And we're going to be like, yeah. And that starts in three weeks. For example, we're going to give Fred a period of adjustment to get used to that idea. And we're going to tell him that it's happening. And then when it happens...

I think he will kick off a little bit about it, but not much. Like Fred is in a position that is good right now. But all of that progress would have been undone if Bobby dipped on Fred at that reception meeting. So when Bobby was telling me about this over the phone, I just could not have been more proud of my husband. I was like, thank you so much for having the bravery. And you know what? In England, especially where like what's done is done. It is bravery.

To go against the grain and to risk being labeled like difficult and just be like, yeah, I'm so sorry. I have to stay with him. Like this is in everyone's best interest. I promise you we are preparing him for nurse for reception, but like not today. We told him because we thought that we could stay with him today and that's what we have to stick to. Otherwise, like Fred is going to fucking spiral. And it makes me sad when I think about how many children are like Fred and

But they don't have flexibility in their home. Like some parents can't afford flexibility. Like they don't have a stay-at-home parent who can just sit there. Like, you know, they don't. They have to start sending their kids to nursery and they have to drop them off. And that's fine. And I don't think those kids will be damaged. But it's this blanket idea. Kourtney Kardashian was on a podcast this week.

Talking about how like why should she send her kids to school and her kids have said they want to be homeschooled. And she said, well, no, Kourtney Kardashian is especially granola for people. She's like a little bit of a step further than I am, certainly. But she's like, what are we preparing them for? Because even the school uniform, it used to be to prepare children for the workplace. Like one day they will have to dress smart.

And they will go to an office and girls were only allowed to wear trousers not that long ago to school. It was skirts like in our lifetime because that's what they would be expected to wear in their receptionist position, right?

But now so many people work from home. So many people, especially in these schools, are in the arts or they have tech startups where they can dress like Mark Zuckerberg every day. Like even the itchy wool school uniform. I understand it's about being the same and a sense of like belonging and uniformity. But parts of school change.

Today, I'm so sorry. They just don't make sense for the future like they used to. School was designed during the Industrial Revolution to educate kids in batches based on date of production. Like, it's so different now. And we're lucky. This is a great school and they are very flexible about Fred. But I just worry about the kids who they go, oh, they get used to it. It's like they don't get used to it. They eventually submit. Right.

And that's not what we're trying to teach Fred. So you just started using LinkedIn premium. Now what? Well, on your premium company page, you noticed around seven and a half times more page engagement and five times more page views. Well done. And now new clients are messaging you.

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Did you know that foreign investors are quietly funding lawsuits in American courts through a practice called third-party litigation funding? Shadowy overseas funders are paying to sue American companies in our courts, and they don't pay a dime in U.S. taxes if there is an award or settlement. They profit tax-free from our legal system, while U.S. companies are tied up in court and American families pay the price to the tune of $5,000 a year. But

But there is a solution. A new proposal before Congress would close this loophole and ensure these foreign investors pay taxes, just like the actual plaintiffs have to.

It's a common sense move that discourages frivolous and abusive lawsuits and redirects resources back into American jobs, innovation and growth. Only President Trump and congressional Republicans can deliver this win for America and hold these foreign investors accountable. Contact your lawmakers today and demand they take a stand to end foreign funded litigation abuse. In addition, we have three birthdays in June, including mine and Father's Day.

So I have been trying to organize all of that from afar. We lied to Fred and told him his birthday was Thursday, June 12th before I went to Grimsby. His birthday was yesterday, but he doesn't know that. And it's not my fault. Well, it is directly my fault. The child can't read a calendar. I actually got a message yesterday from Fred's umbilical cord. I use a company called Cells for Life.

And I also use a company called Placenta Plus. They send a courier to come get your placenta and then they leave with it. And you are delivered these capsules and delicious gummies. I don't really know if it does anything, but I hate waste and I don't want to throw the placenta away. It might be doing something. It might. Just a bit of fun if you're interested. They will also put the umbilical cord in a frame. It's great. Cells for Life send a phlebotomist over to where you are delivering placenta.

And they will extract blood and stem cells from the cord and store those in case your child should develop any type, God forbid, again, of disease, illness that requires stem cells. They're frozen with cells for life forever. You pay every year to store it.

Again, is that bullshit? I don't know. I don't think so, but it's something that we do. And I appreciate the touch. I got an email from them being like, happy birthday, Fred. Pretty soon your child will be counting to 10 and will be able to read his own name. And I thought, what do you know about his cord blood that I don't? Does Fred's cord blood read as learning disabled? Because he can definitely count way past 10 and he can write his own name. Uh-oh. Anyway,

So I'm organizing birthday parties for Fred. I had to wrap and curate all the gifts for his fake birthday, and that went off beautifully in the morning. I ordered a bunch of cupcakes to go to school that day, and I accommodated for the vegan students. That went great. A lot of fondant. I mean, I'm so sorry to any parents at the nursery.

who received their child back that day on E numbers and red dye 45 and sugars. I'm really sorry. But Spider-Man, it's a difficult design to replicate without E numbers. Then I had to organize Violet's trip to New York. We're doing so many fun things next week when we go. If you have any Greenwich or Manhattan recommendations, we're pretty much full on our itinerary. Mostly we'll be shopping.

And Violet's prom. The getting ready bit is now happening at mine. I have organized decorations, hair and makeup artists. I've hired mirrors in because the girls want to get ready themselves. I've got some appetizers and some mocktails. And then what is the final thing? Oh, yeah, Fred's actual birthday party. So his fake birthday was like with the family, but we always do a big

party and I looked at the guest list and 57 people have RSVP'd. 57 coming to my home. I just love like this nesting period. I'm really losing it.

I got my friend Steve at Flat Pack UK to come over and build this beautiful playground that I got from Costco, if you've seen it on my socials. If you need anything built in your house, any flat pack furniture put together or anything that comes with like pieces and instructions, including but not limited to a massive playground for your garden, Flat Pack UK. Ask for Steve. He's my homeboy.

And then I built a wardrobe with my friend Dan at Taylor Bespoke because this family has been pissing me off for too long. They come into my beautiful entranceway and they chuck their hats, shoes, coats, gloves, clothing like keys, bags all on the floor.

And I've let that go on for too long. And as soon as Taylor Bespoke installed this beautiful entrance, like bench and wardrobe with full length mirrors, floor to ceiling mirrors, I was just like, I am a fool for not doing this five years ago. What is my problem? An update on the facelift. And it's not a good update. I had the bravery on the drive with Annie to Grimsby to make a phone call to Manhattan.

And I called the surgeon's assistant and I said, listen, will you please honor the original quote that I got from you in February? And she said, no, I can't. And you know what? I totally understand because at this point you can't even get a consultation with him. Just, you can't just email in and be like, can I have a consultation? No, it has to be a direct referral from a patient he's had before. So I'm lucky that my foot is even in the door. It is difficult these days because

to give someone the kind of money that we're talking about. They make it hard. When someone is a delicate genius, it is tough. The quote has swelled by 40%. And I said, well, I'm pregnant. And I really want to just give you a deposit and book this facelift for like a year from now or a year and a half. And of course, she said, we can't do that. The cost will have gone up by then. It will be a new quote. And I said, what is like the soonest way?

the furthest away appointment that is realistic that I could get from you. And she's like, listen, Catherine, I want to help you out, but I don't know. And I just thought to myself, how many people, like maybe I need to take a step back and find out if I am sick. Because how many people are navigating a facelift and pregnancy at the exact same time? You would think pregnancy, okay, that naturally happens like in your 30s, facelift, 60s.

But we've moved one thing back and one thing forward. So now it's all kicking off in your 40s. We have done this to ourselves, ladies. Like men, we don't do anything for them, but they think that we do. So time and time again, they will comment on Instagram. We don't want you to do this stuff. I don't know why you're getting lip fillers. Men don't like this. And I have to stop them and be like, we don't care what you like or don't like. Fuck off. We have made ourselves part of this like community.

ever-increasing pressure cooker of beauty standards and career standards and family standards. We're at the peak of toxic feminism where we're like, we have to have babies well into our 50s. We've got to do it because we have to prioritize our careers and wait and find the right man until he's old enough to be a sensible partner, which, by the way, good luck.

And then, all right, well, we'll get our career under control. We'll get pension going. We'll buy property in like our 40s. We'll have babies in our late 40s, early 50s. Fine, that's good. But by then, you know, we're still expected to somehow look 25. So then we'll have the facelift. What? I had like an out-of-body experience on the phone. I was like, I'm trying to delay my facelift because I'm pregnant. Why am I having a baby and a facelift at the same time? It doesn't make any sense. So I think I might just pack the whole thing in. I can't afford it anyway.

It's ludicrous. Okay, we've got just enough time for one email. And the title is Daddy Issues. Who hasn't got them?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for nine years and we're in our mid-30s. He got a girl pregnant when he was 19 and has never acknowledged the child or had anything to do with the child. He actively dismissed that the child was his until he had to do a DNA test seven years ago and start paying child support. We don't have children ourselves. He is not a family man.

He has no contact with any of his relatives and has always told me he's not interested in kids, doesn't want kids, doesn't want to be a dad, etc. He said he would have kids with me to satisfy me as he knows I want a family. However, I have had two terminations in the last few years as circumstances weren't great and he wasn't thrilled at the time about that thought of a baby.

The child from this teenage relationship is now 15 and has reached out to him. He's done a complete turnaround though and is seeing her every week, buying her presents, calling himself dad and is over the moon about seeing her, etc. I'm absolutely gutted and I feel weirdly jealous. It's causing so many arguments between us. He says I'm not happy for him and I'm acting immature and being unsupportive.

We can't talk about it without nearly splitting up due to how heated the argument gets.

I told him I'm confused at how he says he doesn't want to be a dad, but now he's referring to himself as dad, talking about his quote daughter and seeing her every week. He continues to say he doesn't want to be a dad, but he clearly does. If this kid hadn't pursued him, he wouldn't be interested and he wouldn't be pursuing her. But now he's acting like dad of the year. I feel like if we had a child of our own now, there's going to be this jealousy and

of how will he be present for our own kid now this one is on the scene. I feel like it's unfair and he's missed the hard years and now he just gets to take a teenager out for dinner dates. He hasn't had to face any consequences. I'm so sad about the whole situation and he won't tell me anything about what's going on. So it's like he's living a secret life on the side. What do I do? Time is ticking for me on the baby front. We have a house together and we are approaching 10 years together."

I'm selfishly also thinking about implications down the line with the house and the fact that we're not married. What rights would this kid have? He doesn't know if he's on the birth certificate. Jesus. I mean, there's a lot to unpack, of course. He seems like not the kind of guy that I would want to be with, although a man in his mid-30s...

is sometimes still very immature. I can see how it winds you up that he's just come on the scene in this 15-year-old's life and they're experiencing...

kind of a honeymoon period together because she just reached out and now it's like, oh yeah, like being a dad is really fun. I'm going to take her on these dinners and get her presents and make up for lost time. But actions like that never make up for the lost time. It is positive that he's showing up in her life the way she wants him to now, despite being absent for most of it.

Um, it's positive that he paid child support, but obviously that was not by choice. But I get what you mean. Like he keeps saying he doesn't want to be a dad. I think overall, when someone tells you who they are, you should believe them. What he's saying, but doesn't seem to have the language to do so, is that he doesn't want to take responsibility. He chooses to hang out with this girl.

But when he didn't want to sacrifice his own time for a baby, he wasn't doing that. He chooses when to dip in and out. He wasn't paying child support until...

He was forced to do a DNA test and then had to start paying child support. You know what I mean? Like this guy just wants, I think, what a lot of people would like is just freedom to dip in and out and have no commitment or accountability and just be the kind of dad that they want to when they want to. But I can tell you for free.

That it is very unlikely you're going to have a newborn baby with this man, which, I mean, in many ways, though not always, is tougher than a 15-year-old. And he's going to have the stamina and the commitment to be the kind of partner that you deserve. And what is a lot more difficult than splitting a house is co-parenting with someone who is unreliable.

You know, like, I don't know how long he's going to keep up this dad of the year act with the teenage daughter either. Like, this seems very new. And the worst thing he could do is give her false hope that he's going to be like present in her life now and hanging out and having these dinners and then drop her like a hot potato when it gets tough.

Because who knows what kind of bitch she's going to turn into next year when she turns 16. No offense to the young woman, like it happens to us all. But also once this honeymoon period is over, is she going to turn around and start asking him hard questions? Be like, why did you abandon my mom? Why did you want nothing to do with me all my life? Like she will probably have some unresolved issues about that, that at some point she's going to confront him with.

And that's the point when we're going to see if he's dad of the year, whether he stands to face those hard questions or whether he retreats out of her life again. Knowing what I know, this is not someone that I would want to have kids with.

But like, look, what I hate the most is that he's like, I don't want a baby, but I'll give you one if you want one. Like, if you want one, I'll have one. He's telling you from the jump that if you have a baby with him, just go into it with your eyes wide open and know that unless he chooses to be active, at the end of the day, the responsibility of this child is on you.

If you want a child that badly and you want to give it a go with him, roll the dice, but don't expect anything other than what he has already shown you. I think your feelings about this are maybe coming out as jealousy over the teenager and it's confusing things. And this is why you guys are getting into arguments because you're talking about the smoke and not the fire.

I don't know what kind of communicator he is, but you guys, I think, need to access like professional help, outside therapy to really get to the heart of what you're fighting about. Because it doesn't sound to me like you're mad that he's spending time with this teenage daughter. It's so much more complicated than that. Like deeply rooted issues that he's just seeing as like you being a bitch, you being jealous of his daughter, but you're not. So I've given you the best, you know, un-

licensed advice that I can anecdotally but if you want to stay with this guy I think you need professional help I don't want you to lose your relationship I don't want you to lose your house I can see this dad of the year act going tits up real fast especially if you guys have a new baby and he's doing more than like dinners and drinks and presents

Thank you very much for listening to another episode of Telling Everybody Everything. On that note, happy Father's Day. Happy Father's Day to all the absent fathers, all the good fathers, all the in-and-out fathers, all the bread-crumbing fathers, all the deadbeats, all the pay-no-child support, all the pay-child support, and hold it over your head in a financial hostage situation. All the different dads out there, good and evil, happy Father's Day. I hope you get...

a lovely card, an ashtray, and an afternoon of golf to yourself. If you ever want to write me an email, it's tellingeverybodyeverythingatgmail.com. Please look after each other and I'll see you next week.

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