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Did you know that foreign investors are quietly funding lawsuits in American courts through a practice called third-party litigation funding? Shadowy overseas funders are paying to sue American companies in our courts, and they don't pay a dime in U.S. taxes if there is an award or settlement. They profit tax-free from our legal system, while U.S. companies are tied up in court and American families pay the price, to the tune of $5,000 a year. But

But there is a solution. A new proposal before Congress would close this loophole and ensure these foreign investors pay taxes, just like the actual plaintiffs have to.

So,

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Hello and welcome to another episode of Telling Everybody Everything. It is Wednesday, the 4th of June. I cannot believe it's June. On my group chat, some of my girlfriends yesterday said, Happy birthday, Cindy. And I thought, these idiots. Cindy's birthday is June 3rd, and that was yesterday. And Lori's birthday is tomorrow. And someone who knows both these ladies is my husband, Bobby, who's on the show today. I do know both of them, yes. Which one do you prefer? Um... You know what? I don't think I'm...

I don't think I'll answer that one. They don't listen. It's so weird. Oh, great. So then I definitely like Cindy more. You and Lori just have historical beef from high school. Nothing romantic. Listen, just be... I chucked a softball. It hit her in the head. Um...

It was, you know, from there, the relationship went downhill. The first baseman should have caught it. For those of you that know baseball, anyways. It's just Dutch versus Dutch. The Van Leeuwen's V, the Kootstra's. But also, I remember the controversy surrounding that softball. And you are such a pedant that, okay, you threw the softball. You were kind of a naughty boy, but also you would not admit when you were wrong. Hit Laurie in the head, and then she was saying, I have a concussion. And your argument was, no, you cannot...

have a concussion. You had a concussion. But then that was before CTE. So I was actually wrong. But then CTE wasn't a thing anyways. So it's June, which means prom where we split up. Yes. Maybe that's why I'm having issues with Violet at the minute. I'm so triggered by prom. I hadn't even pasted the two together. Well, let's not go into the one. But what is the issue with Violet's prom then?

Firstly, things are cool in different eras. So cheerleading on American television and in American 90s slash noughties movies was cool. But in Canada, the cheerleaders were not athletic. They were dweebs. They were not the best. And so my group of girlfriends, motivated by the film Bring It On, we were like, let's just make a cheerleading group that is cool, that is more American, that dances, and

And so we made a dance team that rivaled the cheerleaders. Like that was of its time. Similarly, going to prom, going to homecoming, doing these like North American events was cool when we were young. And now I feel like the UK is sort of getting on board with prom. Well, I think it's probably because they're like all TikTok and social media. So all these teenage girls are like, feel like they're missing out on something over here that is kind of influenced to them.

So I see mixed schools having prom. And I know that gender, especially among this demographic, is a very non-binary thing. But Violet goes to an all-girls secondary school. The school themselves are not organizing a prom, which is baffling because how much does it cost to go there per day?

Too much. Yeah. So, okay, no prom. Fine. But the mothers have decided to step up and be like, let's give these year 11 girls a prom. Violet was not interested in going to the prom at first. And then apparently a lot of her girlfriends were going. They started talking about the nails and the tan and the dresses. And then last minute she wanted to go. I said, will there be any boys at this prom? She said, no. What do you think about that? Strange. There'll be... I don't know. I didn't...

Hopefully they have fun, but it is kind of a promise to like dance with boys and be awkward and like have a date.

So it's not really the same experience. What makes it attractive on these social media apps that they're liking is they do this big reveal. So it is about the dress and the look, but also they will do a big ask you to prom. Oh yeah, the guy ask you videos. I forgot about those. And some of them are really outlandish and really sweet and romantic and the whole school cheers. And there's a lot of thought that goes into the prom proposal, right?

But then there's also the corsage and the idea of a date. And the awkward photos. Yeah. And then a keepsake for the rest, you know. It's, yeah, it's cute. So they're missing out on that. But I suppose prom at its core is about celebrating a milestone and about being more independent and dressing up. And it's nice for these girls to have like a safe space to connect and to dance. It doesn't have to be about...

you know, romantic interest. But like, I don't think call it something else. A dry hen do. Well, I don't know what else you would call it. A prom, but it's end of year dance, but you're dancing with just girls. I don't know. We're like, let's party like end of year party. Just throw an end of year party and call it something else. I don't know. Can we round up some local? Well, that's what I was going to say. There surely is an all boy school that wants to have a mixer.

Yes. And then like combine, you know. And it's not too late for that. They don't have to have dates necessarily, but you can maybe find one at the prom. You need to have a date for the prom. It is all about the date. It is a date. It is a dance. It's a date. I think everyone had a date for prom. Did anyone go solo to our proms? Probably, but we didn't hang out with them. But like even friends would go together. Yeah, of course. You'd have to like pair up and like...

No matter how high or low on the totem pole you'd find someone. There'll always be someone at your level. So Violet and I are at odds over this problem because...

She likes Tate McRae, the artist, who, you know, adorable girl. I feel like she does a lot of, like, breathing and writhing, but good for her. She's really encapsulating this, like, sex pop industry. Do you know who Tate McRae is? I have no idea who that is, no. I mean, she sings, like, really, like, sex music. But anyway. Like Sabrina Carpenter kind of stuff? Yes. Yes. But more so. Like, more on the...

Less burlesque and more like let's fuck. Jesus. So anyway, her makeup artist is my former landlady. One of the most talented makeup artists like in the world. And she's just gone from strength to strength. Also, she's probably one of the most beautiful women in the world. She's called Lily Keys.

on Instagram. She works a lot with Sam McKnight. She lived in the UK, but she is from New Zealand. She now lives in LA. She's done Charlie XCX. She's done the Skims campaign. She did me for my Netflix special. And when I did Conan O'Brien in the States, I was lucky to have her even like touch my face. She's the most wonderful makeup artist in the world. So I was looking at her Instagram just to see all the different inspo she does. She's got some incredible festival makeup on there right now. You will just love her. You have to follow Lily Keys. And

And I noticed she was in London with Tate. And I was like, oh, Violet, Tate McRae's in London. So we Googled it. Oh, tickets to, is it either Wembley or the O2? June 24th. So I got these tickets for Violet, like June 1st. Then she turns around to me and she's like, oh, well, I've got my prom. I said, what day? She goes, I don't know. I said, well, what time? She goes, I don't know. She goes, I think it's June 25th.

So then I'm trying to organize hair and makeup for Violet and things for Violet to go to this prom. And then I think to myself, why am I even organizing this? Like, Violet, these girls are old enough to, you know, some of them have serious romantic relationships. A lot of them are not going back into school or they're graduating very soon and going to university. They have jobs. They're old enough to vape and drink and God knows what else. And I said, message your girlfriends and find out when this prom is. And she goes, nobody knows.

The moms are organizing it. And I was fucking incensed by that. I was like, no, I'm not being added to another mom's WhatsApp group to find details of a prom that some 16-year-old girls should A, have organized themselves.

I said to Violet, Bobby and I didn't know, like our mothers didn't even know when or where our proms were. We did all of that. And then our moms would like find out and come take pictures or whatever. But we did all of that. Not only did we book our nail appointments, book our hair appointments, like I made, I fucking made my dress with a sewing machine. Lovely dress. And I organized the actual prom. Prom committee. Head of the prom committee. Sorry, head of the prom committee.

So like the fact that Violet doesn't know what day or time it is. So then Bobby and Violet are in the car. Yeah, we are coming back. Violet got her braces off. So we're coming back from the ortho. Violet found out that... Was it Violet found out? It was me. Sorry. Violet added me without my consent to the mom's WhatsApp group. And the moms were able to tell me. That the prom was on the same day as the Tate McRae concert. So Catherine calls through. I'm driving with Violet.

And she says, you have to pick which one you want to go to. And then Violet is incensed that she has to pick between the two because it's not her responsibility to know when the prom is. Poor organization on my part. Yeah. She was very upset with her mom. And she even asked me after the phone call, which was a heated conversation. I never see much from you guys. She goes, I'm right. Right, BK? I was like, I don't know. I think your mom's just trying to make a point like you need to.

have some type of organization or take some accountability of your schedule and it's not her job and Violet could just couldn't couldn't see that point whatsoever I like that you've been backed into a corner where you have to stay entirely neutral with Violet now you're like but I was like I don't I do understand now you have this difficult choice you have but I'm like you have two great choices so at least you know just pick the one that you want to do and she yeah she was pretty heated

I understand what it's like to be straddling the space between like girl and young woman. But come on, the fact that she reached out to her friends group. I'm not just disappointed in my own daughter. I'm disappointed in all of them. None of them could give a reliable date or time. They all just walk around.

scrolling on their phones and they just wait for their mothers to like turn the axis of their shoulders and point them in the right direction for where they need to be next. Like, fuck off. You girls don't even know the day of your prom. And not to mention, I then had to mess around the lovely makeup artist,

This incredible girl, Caitlin Rubia, who is local to us. I found her because she was doing Louisa Zisman, another great Instagram follower. She was doing her makeup and she was tagged in like Hartfordshire. And I was like, oh, when Fiona Eustace, my makeup artist, when she's unavailable and also she lives in Portsmouth and she does other people, I'm going to use this Caitlin. And she just does like such a beautiful glowing skin, such a youthful skin. And I thought, oh, she'll come and do Violet's prom. But she's like triple booked. And I was like, oh, she's like, oh, she's like, oh, she's like, oh, she's like, oh, she's like,

And so I got her just in the slot. She moved things around for me and everything. And then I found out that Violet didn't even know the day, gave me the wrong day. I had to move her again. Like I was, I guess, Bobby, the mistake I made was organizing the hair and makeup process.

In the first place. So yeah, it is your fault. Violet is correct. I suppose. You should have known. And I ordered the dress. And you would have presumably got the tickets for her as well. So you double booked yourself. And I paid for the tickets. I paid for the prom tickets and the Tate McRae tickets. Eventually, at least now she's going to the prom, but I just can't help myself. I think if we just let these girls flounder and they figure out between them like, oh, the prom's in the 30 minutes, then maybe they would learn for next time. I don't know.

I'm not certain of that. I'm angry with everyone. I'm angry with the girls. I'm not angry. I'm disappointed. The girls, the moms, myself. Well, Violet's argument was you didn't join the moms group chat, so you don't know when it is. I dropped out of the moms group chat years ago when somebody was dismissive of the feelings of a black mother during Black Lives Matter. And she was wearing a fascinator in her profile photo. So I said...

Nice comment or whatever. And then I dropped out of the group. Classic. This is during Black Lives Matter. I haven't been in the group since Black Lives Matter. You did the right thing. Anyway, prom's happening and I'm really like excited. I think I'm also going to get a limousine and a photographer.

Oh, no. Here we go. This is how your party goes. You start off so slowly and then you get the celeb hairstylist and the makeup artist and then there's limos and then there's going to be balloons. There'll be some tents in the back garden. Your parties start so small and you just can't help yourself to like...

go above and beyond like Fred's birthday coming up I just like just keep it light not too many snacks I've seen this happen this I've seen this movie before and just you won't listen to me but I'm gonna say just you don't need to do all this I am listening to you and you just gave me a really good idea that we should host like a little canapes dinner and drinks before they go here with a tent you're right not with a tent

The grass. Well, not the grass. It's just the tent. They're going to be here for a half hour. If it rains, it rains. Anyways. All right. I'm fine with the, like, party before. Yeah.

Did you know that foreign investors are quietly funding lawsuits in American courts through a practice called third-party litigation funding? Shadowy overseas funders are paying to sue American companies in our courts, and they don't pay a dime in U.S. taxes if there is an award or settlement. They profit tax-free from our legal system, while U.S. companies are tied up in court and American families pay the price to the tune of $5,000 a year. But

But there is a solution. A new proposal before Congress would close this loophole and ensure these foreign investors pay taxes, just like the actual plaintiffs have to.

It's a common sense move that discourages frivolous and abusive lawsuits and redirects resources back into American jobs, innovation, and growth. Only President Trump and congressional Republicans can deliver this win for America and hold these foreign investors accountable. Contact your lawmakers today and demand they take a stand to end foreign-funded litigation abuse. Does it ever feel like you're a marketing professional just...

Let's talk about your family problems.

Oh, boy. There's been a lot of them lately. Oh, yeah. You know, Bobby's family overall, they're going through just some difficult transitional year. And then I did talk about the affectionate side

of his sisters at the party two podcasts ago. Hopefully they didn't listen. They do like to kiss my husband on the lips. Who wouldn't? And now this. They love to kiss me on the lips. That's true. But yeah, the newest thing is an interesting one. I think you can probably take the lead on with my... I've got this... I'll just start. I've got this older uncle who's a bit kind of a kooky guy, like a bit head in the clouds type of person that is...

Kind of a liar. And anyways, you had mama. He's like pathologically delusional. Yeah. I don't think he's evil. He's not evil. But I do think from my limited experience of him, I don't think he's ever said anything true that I've seen. Not even like malicious lies. Just like crazy. No, just like fantasies and like, yeah, fantasies and like just like kind of some type of manipulation. Yeah.

I don't understand. But also, like, he's a loner. He does have kids from a long time ago, but he's, like, 55, and he's not successful. Like, you know, he's living the circumstances of who he is. He is the poster child for what has happened next. So his elderly mother was a tenant for young students from abroad. And when I say students...

a what oh yeah landlord sorry tenant landlord yes land landlady um so these young students from a red were not like 18 they were in their early 20s language barrier like coming from a variety of different families presumably as a mother you are sending we have just touched on 16 year olds who can't organize a literal piss up in a brewery

A 22, 23, 24-year-old young woman, her frontal lobe is still developing. And when she's in a new country, I'm sorry, I think in this day and age, she would be very vulnerable, very inexperienced, lonely, away from home, and stifled, probably a very smart girl to be a student, but stifled by a language, a very glaring language barrier, if nothing else. So Bobby's uncle...

moves back to take care of his mother from where he was. And so he is now ensconced with the young girls. And there's only one young girl from abroad remaining. And now, as a mother, again, I send my daughter to live with an elderly woman. I don't expect a 55-year-old interloper is going to advance. He's a weird guy anyway. And now he is in a sexual relationship.

With the 25-year-old student from abroad. And like, look, I love that Bobby is not attracted to teenagers. Like, you can't say that about every man. I like him old. And I bang on about the power dynamics. Like, this is not illegal, right?

This man is obviously like pathetic for a number of reasons. It's not surprising about him. Like he's the guy you see on 90 Day Fiancé. It's like the least surprising thing. Like that he's used this situation that he's found himself in, which he always seems to find himself in these situations, to like capitalize and manipulate a relationship with kind of someone that is out of their league. Yeah.

as far as knowing what's actually going on. Yeah. If he was like a nice 55-year-old, maybe with money, like I'd be like, power to you. Come to this country. Like, who's that girl? She probably thinks he does have money. Yeah, because he's such a... Because he would have like made some fables or tales...

Where she thinks he's like successful and this and that. And that's the part. There's some type of like fraud happening. Yeah. Where it's not what it seems. And she probably thinks it's a lot different than the reality that she's living in. Not to mention the huge age difference. His kids are creeped out by it.

they have come to us and said like, is he a pedo? And we're like, well, technically no. He is like a pathetic loser, but we're not going to do anything. We're not going to say anything, but it is very hard for me not to reach out to this girl and just be like, do you need help?

But currently she's whipped up in this fantasy of what she thinks is going on, I guess. But I love that Bobby is as disgusted by it as I am because I bang on about these abuses of power, position. Again, not illegal, but gross. But for a man... It's just really creepy and it's icky. It's icky. And it puts a blight on your family. Yeah. We've been through enough. Yeah.

leave the Kootstras alone. Please. At least we went to Friesland. Yes, we did go to Friesland. I think, so, yeah. Do we mention this before? Yeah. So this uncle, you know, you would never get through to him, first of all. Oh, no, you can't talk to him. No, no, no. Like with any sense or sensibility, it's just a waste of time. Hopefully this young girl sees the light sooner rather than later and is able to

squeeze out of there it's just difficult for us as parents I think and when the young people in your family are coming to us because they know that we are like outspoken I guess there's I just feel like it's not our place this girl thinks she's in a good position it looks to me like and what about like her family abroad they probably think she's doing you know I feel bad for them like because if my daughter grew up and like fell into the situation like I would be on the first plane over to like rescue her they probably don't know that obviously but it's just like

He's just such a fucking loser. Like if Fenna Grace, my God, like when I think about the reaction my husband would have if Fenna Grace was like, I'm going to go to a country where I don't speak the language and I'm going to live with an older woman and I'll be safe and I'm your lovely daughter and let my wings spread and I'll fly. And then you found her being entered by a 55-year-old like... Con man. No, no.

I need to get a message out to the parents, but I don't speak Asian. Okay, Bobby, I have another announcement for you. What is it? I am pregnant. You are? Yes.

I wouldn't have known from the last scans that we've had, but congratulations. Thank you. That explains the 20-pound weight gain. Yeah, you've been secretly hiding this pregnancy for a good amount of time. I respect you for that, but congratulations to you. And I'm excited to have another member to the family to mix things up. Congratulations to you, because I think your sleep has been more disturbed than mine.

Excuse me. Bless you. I know it's hard to... It's a hard pill to swallow. We might have made a mistake. I've had ups and downs with the sleep. Like our sleeping journey with these kids has been, you know, ups and downs for both of us. Right now, I'm in a rough patch personally. But I think...

Most of the sleep will now fall on you in this upcoming new chapter. At least to start, because... I'm excited for it, because I have felt guilty about... You know, I do hear Fred, and now Violet has introduced an iPad to Fred, which is, like, not what Bobby is about at all. No, it's sad. And it's had the effect that you would think it would have. Like, Fred is...

completely transfixed by this technology and there's a Spider-Man game and he's just like, Dad, like I hear Bobby and Fred, we all sleep in the same room now. Why? In a five bedroom house. We're like up in the attic. Like we're hiding from some like rogue government. And Fred is like, yeah, that's like, Dad, I need to play Spider-Man. Dad, where's my, like at 2 a.m. He's like having dreams about it. He'll just shoot away. It can be like Spider-Man game and then back to sleep. And then first thing in the morning. So we're kind of managing that.

um as best we can i'm not that guy that dad to like allow this to happen for much longer yeah but regarding the pregnancy we obviously lost one which i spoke about in september and then we got pregnant again and it's not like i am happy i love having these kids but i think i personally i don't know about you i think i needed to get to a place where i was a bit like uh-oh

Well, you do not like being told what to do. So when you're getting to an age where...

women are getting whatever way that goes. Harder to have a baby than you're like, I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll have one. And so like after the miscarriage, you kind of like were more keen than ever just to like get it done because of the biological age and just the feeling that someone telling you you can't do something. You're like, I will do this and I respect that about you. And so that's where we are. And I think we can say this might be the last one. How was that for you sexually? Sexually? Sexually.

a lot of sexual things happening then. So it was great. Yeah. Here's what I think. I do love making people. I love making... You're good at it. You've made some good ones. And I love making them with you. It's always what I wanted since prom.

But I think at this point, we need to see how it goes. But I think it would be almost irresponsible to the children that we have and to ourselves. Like now that the Kardashians are being really transparent about who their surgeons are, I've got sights to get hot. Like 45, I'm like, there's Ozempic around the corner for me. You got a bright future. There's the facelift.

I worry that I've alienated the facelift guy because I speak about him publicly and he's like a private guy. I don't think he wants to be famous. I have emailed his secretary, but she's so busy probably now with the Kris Jenner stuff. Yeah. Well, you know, my stance on that is, is you like him old. I like him old. No facelift, please. I have a baby.

Hopefully it's a girl. We never find out. If it's a boy, fine. But that one's yours. Like the boys are yours and the girls feel like mine. That's how that works so far, but you never know. Fred, I think, wouldn't want to share you with another boy. I think Fred is like a man. I think the best thing for the family would be a girl. Yeah. I do agree. But a boy would really spice things up. No disrespect to the boy if it's a boy.

And then have the baby. Great. And then we feel really overwhelmed. We nearly split up. We reached the breaking point. Then... We have a comeback story. We go to Italy. Get a facelift. Yeah. Zempic. Get that revenge body on yourself. Yeah.

I hate to tell you, BK, it's been 24 minutes. Okay, well that means I best be leaving you. I've got some things I've got to do around the golf course. He's got a tea time. But guess what? Guess who really impressed me yesterday? It was like a tsunami outside. A fucking monsoon at the very least. Bobby went to the golf course and didn't golf. No, it was too much. I knew this even before I left. There's a high chance. And I'm not the guy to like... No, you're like Captain Dan out there. You don't give a fuck what the weather is.

You're holding on. But I was not about it yesterday. Lieutenant Dan. But today I will press on. Okay, well, I love you. Congratulations on having another child. Maybe. We'll get started. If you would like to carry our next baby, please email telling everybody. Actually, you're not legally allowed to solicit that. All right, we'll go to break. When your workforce, tech stack, and business needs are evolving all at once, you need HCM software that moves just as fast. That's

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Jamie Lange's very lovely and talented wife, Sophie Habou, has also announced her pregnancy. And that is a nightmare for a gal like me. That's like a 19-year-old supermodel. I don't know how far along. I believe no one should ever announce how far along they are. I have said this for my entire life because then the neighbor can't peek over the driveway and go, where's the baby? People start to

plan trips to visit you or no, you just keep it to yourself. No one can tell you you're too big or too little or anything else, but game recognize game. Looking at that luscious young woman who I love so much, I have so much respect for. I think she is a great presenter, a great entertainer. She's dry. She's funny. I love Sophie and Jamie on the podcast. I think they're just great, great people.

But they went to a wedding and they posted photos from that. And I feel like looking at the photos and knowing it's her first pregnancy and knowing she's tall and thin, I feel like we're kind of the same gestation. I'm like, oh, great. Because that little girl is just going to look hot, hot, hot.

You know when models get pregnant, they retain the tan and the long legs and they don't have any water weight in their face. And I will be 42 years old this month. And I'm very blessed that, you know, I'm still ovulating. A lot of my friends on the group chat are already talking about menopause, perimenopause, all these different things. And I'm not complaining. I'm really going to lean into this probable last pregnancy. But...

You know, it is going to be a fat girl summer for me. And not just fat. I think fat is gorgeous on the right person. But we know from experience, for some reason, just like a fringe, it doesn't suit me. And especially the summer doesn't suit me. I can't tan. I just get sort of rashy. I retain water anyway. Like, y'all wait to see what my ankles do though. And...

It's just going to be painful, but that's fine. Whatever. At least it's a British summer, so it'll be cold a lot of the time. The Mighty Hoopla. How dare you? If you went to the Mighty Hoopla, if you enjoyed social media posts from the Mighty Hoopla, if you've been to the Mighty Hoopla, I'm absolutely livid. It makes me feel homophobic. Just to know the lineup of this year's Mighty Hoopla was so...

out of this world attractive to me. I would have loved to be there and I could not go. I could not go. I don't understand as a future gay icon why I'm not even like invited to at least compare a part of the Mighty Hoopla.

♪♪

But they have gone very viral for dancing, like pretending to be backup dancers in TikTok videos and Instagram reels. And they're so funny. And they actually did backup singing for Samantha Mumba. Erika Jayne was there. Heidi fucking Montag performed in Brixton at Mighty Hoopla. And it just looked like the most wonderful event. The outfits, every one of you in the crowd.

Because I poured over these photos. Everybody looked so good. Spencer was there filming Heidi from every angle, just being her hype man. And I just cannot believe that I was on tour. I missed some amazing events. Mel B had her birthday party in Leeds. I saw photos from that. Everyone went dressed in leopard print.

I had been invited, but I chose to be in Milton Keynes that evening instead. And I actually, I had a wonderful time in Milton Keynes. I love being on tour, but like things that, you know, you just need to make sacrifices sometimes. I am suspicious of the people who came to see me in Guilford, knowing that they too could have been attending the Mighty Hoopla weekend in Brixton. Never again. Never again. Never again.

Will I allow a Mighty Hoopla to go by without my attendance? I've never been before. I've always seen the lineups. It looked like so much fun. Sometimes I thought it looked a little dancey, trancy. Like I would see that kind of music that I wasn't into, but then also girl bands and just such wonderful LGBTQAI+, an ally, inclusive camp shit.

And when I saw, I never get jealous. Okay. Have you guys seen Maya Jama hard launching her new boyfriend whom I know very little about, but he's Portuguese and he plays football in this country, I believe. I don't know for whom and I'm not interested, but I cannot become a football fan. There's just too much of my schedule, but yeah.

I don't even, I was looking at Maya Jemma's photos on the Amalfi Coast on this romantic holiday and she had dresses and shoes and dinners and yachts and a bottle of olive oil shaped like a dick. And I don't feel an ounce of jealousy when I look at these young women, especially Maya Jemma. I just feel like, yes, I feel like she is my own spiritual child and every win for her

is fantastic for my soul. That's how I feel when I look at people living their best lives. And so when Annie and I were discussing this actually on the way to tour in the car, we have loads to discuss. And I said, I don't really understand when people talk about social media, giving them FOMO or making them feel bad about themselves. Like when I see good things on social media, I just feel so pleased and proud. And I have been waiting for

For someone to treat Maya Jama the way Maya Jama treats Maya Jama. This country gives Maya Jama her flowers. Like we know how special she is, but I don't think we've come to the full realization that she is not Kim Kardashian. Maya Jama is the modern day Marilyn Monroe, but without, you know, the affair with the president allegedly and the drugs and the trauma. Maya Jama is like a unique person.

almost deity. Like there will never be another Maya Gemma. There has never been another Maya Gemma. The fact that she is funny and humble and talented and like show-stoppingly alien gorgeous. She is like world scale. I would go as far as to say Maya Gemma is the most beautiful woman in the world. And that beauty shines from the inside out. There I've said it. I just think she's fantastic. And when I see her achieving great things, I feel happy.

Similarly, if normally if I see people enjoying Mighty Hoopla, I would feel happy. But this is the only time that social media made me fucking cross. I was like, no, because it looked like so much fun and I wanted to be there. Heidi Montag and Erika Jayne, like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Was there a photo of them together at any point? That I did not see.

And the VIP area looked so nice. Like loads of people were getting photos with Erika Jayne and like she just seemed so nice. And that is completely my area of interest. Mighty Hoopla, I will do anything to present. Like let me bring one person on stage. Come on. Next year, I will cancel whatever I've got on. How the fuck have I been working? Like every single Mighty Hoopla since the beginning of time. I have never, ever been. Will Fred...

Fred was born one June. Violet was born another June. It looked awesome, guys. It looked awesome. And finally, I think the Kardashians have kind of a, I don't know, network of secret service. Well, they definitely have that. But I think that whoever's doing their PR are so forward thinking. I think they seed out into the public and they read reactions and they feed that back because Kris Jenner,

very generously confirmed the surgeon who did her facelift. And I love that transparency. I have thought for decades that there's no shame in anyone's game, whatever tweakments or treatments or lack of treatments or surgeries, whatever you want to do.

You don't have to do it. If you want to do it, I think it's nice when you're open about it. Equally, no one else has a right to your body or to information about your body. If you don't want to be open about it, you'll have your own reasons for that and that's fine. But I'm never really a supporter of lying because I think it creates false expectations. Like if you're not going to say, just say nothing. Lindsay Lohan came out the same week and was like,

oh no, I have not had any surgery. When would I have had time for that? We've had plenty of time. You're like, you're busy. Yes. But you're also a Dubai housewife. You would have had plenty of time for a facelift. And if you haven't had a facelift, okay, fine. You might have had, well, which by the way, I believe she has, but let's say you've had a CO2 laser or some fat grafting, or you've got clean from drugs and alcohol and maybe had a bleph. Like, you know, you could give us

some reasonable explanation for what we can plainly see with our eyes. But instead, Lindsay Lohan's like, no, no, no, no, no. Lemon water. We're like, what? She goes, I submerge my face into an icy bucket of lemon water. It's like, babe, no, you don't.

No, you don't. And people unanimously kind of rejected that explanation and lauded Kris Jenner as a girl's girl. Like, thank you. Thank you for finally telling us when all these celebrities for years have not. And then days later, Kylie comes out in the comments, Kylie Jenner, saying she had 425 cc's of fat.

What did she call it? Like medium projection silicone or something. Half under the muscle done by Dr. Garth Fisher. And again, the internet exploded with like, thank you, girl. Like people just want to know. People aren't stupid. And so if you give them the actual...

receipts, then they too can make an informed decision. Like not everyone's going to have access to Dr. Garth Fisher, but at least they know, okay, I can take two grand and roll the dice with this unlicensed surgeon from abroad because that's all I can afford. And I feel like that's going to be the right thing.

Or they can go, okay, I know what it takes to do the right boob job, the boob job that I like, that I've seen on this celebrity. It will be different on my body because I have a different body, but this is the safe guy and this is how much it costs. I think people just need to know that information so they can make a comparison. Even if they don't go to him, I think they deserve the context.

And there will be women who look at Kylie Jenner and they think she's totally natural and maybe they're young and they do feel badly about themselves. They're sitting at home being like, when are my boobs going to grow? I think it's really cool to be like, they're not. And if you want them, Dr. Garth Fisher has a wait list. And I know other people who've had their boobs done by him and he is very talented. For a time, because he's friends with the Kardashians, a lot of people think he did Kris's facelift or they thought that. And he did one of them on the show.

But no, I just knew all along it wasn't his work. But apparently now confirmed he did Kylie's boobs. And I very much think that there's a PR team who fed that back. They were like, okay, the public loved it when Chris told us about the facelift. So Kylie, what do you got? And Kylie was like, I guess I could give them the boob guy. And it's worked out really well for her. And in my comments the other day, a lovely young woman was like, when are we getting the ass guy?

And I have to tell you, I don't know the ass guy. I don't. But I think a pretty good clue would be Kylie's trans hair stylist. Was it Ariel? We knew Ariel like pre-surgical affirmation of her gender identity. And we knew Ariel during that transformation. And her body did change dramatically.

And when she came out with that ass, I think she did name the surgeon. And why would Kylie's like close confidant hair, you know, artist, I'm not going to even say stylist because the work was phenomenal. Or was it makeup? I really think it was hair and wigs. Why would she not go to the one Kylie recommended?

So I think if you can look back and find that hair person and find out who did her bum, that would be a close guess as to maybe who's doing Kardashian bums. They'll watch out because personally, I could use some sculpting, but I think those big, big bums are a little bit on the way out. I think we might be going back. People are wearing scrunchies. Do you know what I mean? We might be going back to the flat bums of the 90s. I don't know.

But as ever, your body is not a trend. So beware. Never put your life in danger for stupid shit unless you want to, like me. Thank you very much for listening to another episode of Telling Everybody Everything. I love it when you send me emails. The address to do that is tellingeverybodyeverything at gmail.com. This weekend, I'm staying southwest. I am in Exeter, Truro, Bristol. And then we're going to be in South End, New York.

And the following weekend, we're somewhere again. And this tour wraps up on the 28th of June in Cork. There are very few tickets remaining, but if you would like to get tickets, oh, there was a big bump actually for Middlesbrough and Sunderland. So thank you, Jill Scott, for sharing that ticket link. I think we're like 80% sold out there now, but there are tickets left.

If you want to go to the North, you can get tickets through the link on my Cath Bomb Instagram or through Live Nation or Ticketmaster or always I would say direct from the venue is a good place to get tickets. Thank you very much. Please look after each other. I'll see you soon.

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