Julia Haart wins £75M
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Hello and welcome to another episode of Telling Everybody Everything. It is Friday, the 31st of January, the longest month of my life. This has been one of the longest years that I have ever lived and we are still in January 2025. My resolution was to be nicer about men because I don't want to be like the female version of Andrew Tate. Andrew Tate for girls. Or do I?

But I commented last week about Bonnie Blue and how I felt about the men queuing up outside in the cold in their socks. And the way that I articulate myself, I feel like it just doesn't resonate well.

With men, they get so angry and I don't really know why, but I think that you get more bees with honey. I want to speak in a way where I get my point across, but I don't totally alienate them and make them feel attacked because they are a gender that requires a government to tell them they can't marry kids.

They are a gender that will queue up in their socks and underpants to pop on a balaclava and have sex with a 25-year-old stranger for less than a minute. It's not been easy so far this year. We got a rapist in the White House who's crashing helicopters. What can I do? What can I say?

I have had a really nice holiday with the family. And by holiday, I mean, you know, anytime a mom is abroad with small children, it's just parenting further away from your laundry room. It's been a bit of a slog. But I think it's important, and I've said this before, for families to take holidays together if and when you can. I know that everybody is busy. I know that everyone is skint. I know that we have to abide by school rules, right?

But we took Violet out of school. I'm pretty sure it was an unauthorized absence. I did ask a week in advance, but I didn't hear back. And I feel like no news is bad news in that instance. But I mean, look, she had written her mocks. It was a week of just having the mocks returned. And what do they do when they're 15? Like GCSE year, if they go to private school, what are you even paying for? State school, that's one thing. Like these kids are independently motivated.

They get sent home for a lot of the year just to revise. But they're not learning anything new this year at all. They're just going to revise, revise what they've learned in all the other years. And some days they just independently do that. And I feel like Violet could do that in Tenerife. We went to Tenerife. We were originally going to go to Dubai. But I think we found a real sweet spot with the small kids. I think taking them any more than four hours away...

becomes an issue for sleep patterns and the routine and it's a long flight. So if you're UK based and you can do a Spanish or Greek or Canary Islands based holiday, give it a go. And Tenerife was only meant to be sort of 18, 20 degrees, but because of the hot sun, it is warm enough in January to go there and get a tan and swim. I obviously did not get a tan.

I always come back paler than I left. People are like, didn't you just go away? Yeah. We stayed at the Ritz-Carlton Obama. Hashtag not a spawn. But I do recommend it. We got a two bedroom villa with its own pool. I have to say, though, like, I don't want to Google it. I feel horror when I think about young people drowning.

A small child can drown in like an inch of water. I've known it happen to family friends before. Even if you're watching them closely, it only takes minutes. Who's calling me? Hello? Oh, I'm well, Chris. How are you? It's never a good time to transfer that kind of money to my enemies.

I know, I know. I'm getting that a lot from many clients. I just had to pay my tax. Nightmare. Personal tax, corporation tax. Welcome to January 31st.

If you are not self-employed, guys, my tour manager, Annie, she does her own self-employed tax so well. She is so smart. Annie is one of the smartest people I've come across in my life. She's so good with logistics. She's just back from the UAE where she did this big Dubai Coldplay concert, and Lindsay Lohan was there looking snatched.

VVIP, really nice to everyone, by the way. Annie was unable to get any treatment, endoscopic ponytail facelift info, sadly, but she just said Lindsay Lohan is a doll and looks like one, acts like one, incredible person.

But if you're self-employed, as Annie is, like I have accountants doing this and it boggles my mind. I don't really know. Like I have a bookkeeper, I have an accountant. They just tell me how much to pay kind of on the day. They're just like pay this much today. And I don't really get a warning.

which is partly my fault. I don't know. It's somehow got to be my fault. But Annie somehow knows what she's going to have to pay. She has a pretty good idea and she puts it in a separate account and locks it away so that it earns interest. And she puts a little bit of it away all year. So then when it's time to pay her taxes, it's already in an account, a rough estimate, ready to go. And it's been earning interest.

It doesn't matter if you are 20 years old, 30 years old, 60 years old. If you haven't done this up until now, just start doing it. You also can put money into your pension every year if you are employed within a limited company. I'm employed by my limited company.

And paying into your pension is something I did not do until last year. I was 40 last year. Like no one told me, no one explained. I'm also setting up ISAs and also pensions for the kids. Junior ISAs, I think it's called. Like it's never too late to become financially literate. So do that for yourselves.

But back to the swimming pool, the one criticism I had about Tenerife, Ritz, Carlton, Obama, speaking of finances, I didn't think there was enough swim safety. If you went to the main pools, they had lifeguards.

There was a man-made private beach that didn't have lifeguards as far as I could see. And the tide was not the tide, but like the current, the undertow. If you sat in the waves, it would just like whip you in like 20 meters away and

And people just had their kids with buckets and spades, like, toodling along the beach. I found that to be very dangerous. I met a lovely woman there who was like, "Aha, my son's so skinny, he got pulled out into the sea." And he was fine, but you know, it's a strong undertow. I was like, "What?" Like, I would never let go of my children's hands for one second.

But in the villa, there were these sliding doors to get out to the pool that any child could open. You could, there was a mechanism to lock them, but a child could just flip that handle and easily unlock it. I mean, if you weren't watching your child,

in the face constantly 24 hours in the day. They, if they were so inclined, if they were that kind of curious child who loves the water, easily, so easily just get straight into the pool. There were no alarms. There's no fence around the pool. And the terracotta tiling around the pool was really slippery as well.

And the tables were made of something very hard, like cement or marble or something. I hit my head off a table day one because I was playing with Fred and I lost my balance while I was squatting because I'm old as shit. And my head still hurts from that.

And that is my one thing when I go to resorts. I'm always like, oh my God, how safe is it going to be for the children? And this pool safety, I'm sorry, Ritz-Carlton, Obama, like you need to step it up. Your doors, what you need to do is you need to have them automatically locking and you need to have the handles very high.

High, high, so a child can't reach them. And even if, you know, because I would shut the doors and I'd walk into another room and I'd come back and Violet would have opened a door and left it or Bobby who smokes would have opened a door and left it. And we are a family who always watches those children. But by God, I didn't like it. I felt very uncomfortable about that.

And my other criticism, because it is five stars, but I would give it like a four and a half. I thought it was wonderful, but I think the customer service could have been stepped up a little bit. I think they could have had more boutiques. You're supposed to be able to go to a five star hotel with nothing. Like you don't even have to pack a bag. You get there and you can totally dress yourself and your children from the boutiques. You can buy anything you need.

They didn't have like a little corner shop with snacks. So we had to go off site for that. And then sometimes when we'd make a last minute dinner reservation, it wasn't available. And I feel like part of what you pay for staying in a five star villa is for the restaurant to accommodate for guests to have a last minute reservation. You can't just say to your villa guest, oh, we just have no room for you in our restaurants. You have to have room service tonight. And the wine was,

at, see, I just sound so spoiled, but like, look, I have a lot of listeners who want to go on a luxury holiday. I still think you should go. I would give it four and a half stars, which is very close to a five. It's lost points for me on the dinner reservation, the boutiques and the pool safety in the villas. Not child safe in any way. And it's such an important issue to me. And I would hate to Google like the stats on that. Okay. In much happier news,

I don't know if you guys ever watched My Unorthodox Life on Netflix. It was one of my very favorite docuseries. I don't really want to watch scripted television that much anymore, although I kind of am excited. I am because Lena Dunham has something new coming out called Too Much. Amy Schumer has Kind of Pregnant coming out on Netflix, which looks good. I love Amy Schumer to death.

Leanne Morgan, my favorite American comedian at the minute, next to Nikki Glaser. She has something coming out on Netflix. I love her. And White Lotus is about to drop its third series, and they filmed that in Thailand. So I'm excited to see those things. But overall, I just like to watch someone's real life.

Julia Hart is a lady who had a reality series on Netflix called My Unorthodox Life, and it was all about how she left a very ultra-Orthodox Jewish community and somehow became a multimillionaire. She has just won a divorce settlement from her husband Silvio,

for $65 million. She gets to keep the $65 million New York apartment that they have, 10 million cash, and 50% of her company that he was trying to take, plus power of attorney. So she owns more of her company now than he does. And it's just a whirlwind story because I think when you grow up in a very religious, ultra-Orthodox community, it doesn't have to be Jewish, any community like that,

where her name was even changed. Her name's Julia Hart. She changed it to Talia to find a match because it was more orthodox sounding. She went to Yeshiva. She studied Hebrew. She taught Hebrew and she was very much reduced

to just being a follower of that religion. She felt like she couldn't be herself. She didn't want the same life for her children, and that's why she left. But it seems like she had a really good first husband. So she met him when she was 18, and he was five years older, and they started this very Orthodox life together. That's super young to get married, super young. And then somehow out of this Orthodox community in Texas, I think they lived in,

he moved to New York City and started to do a secular job working for the Lehman Brothers. So he's very successful. I mean, that's a huge financial institution. He was doing very well, but she was still teaching Hebrew. And then when she saw her daughter really being stifled by these religious expectations, she somehow left the community. I mean, a lot of people, when they do that, they lose their children. She was able to have custody with her children, though they all still have contact with the dad.

He's been on the reality series. He seems like a nice guy. Her son wants to be orthodox, lives with the dad most of the time, but is not ostracized from his mother. But the rest of her family don't speak to her. Her parents and her eight siblings have disowned her. I think one sister talks to her. So it is really tough to leave that community. Somehow she started a shoe brand.

I don't know what happened in the divorce. Like there are some holes in her story that I need to fill in because I just don't understand how you go from being like super orthodox. She started a shoe brand called Julia Hart Shoes that I've never heard of and you've never heard of. But apparently it was like made with this NASA gel to make it really comfortable footwear for women, high heels, really comfortable. You could wear these shoes all day. Fine. And then something happens in the middle there where she becomes like,

a really powerful CEO at Elite. And this is where this Silvio guy works. So he is a Swiss financier and tech entrepreneur, but he has his hands in everything. So he works at Elite Models, which is Epstein-y. You know what I mean? I don't really know what was going on with them. I don't trust kind of any major modeling institution anymore, but they both worked there. And then his company acquired La Perla, the very famous lingerie brand, and

Julia Hart became CEO of La Perla. She designed the 2017 Met Gala gown worn by Kendall Jenner. It was the one that was a bunch of crystals on a single string. And then they just, they were both just very rich and famous and successful and in that circle, which is amazing in and of itself. And when you watch the series, My Unorthodox Life, which has not had a follow-up season, and I'm really sad about that, but she's just too rich. Once you get like super rich, you don't want to do that anymore. It's too much of a faff.

I would know series two of At Home with Katherine Ryan is coming out in February. And I'm really excited for it. It's a great series, but it's a lot of work. Having producers kind of tweak your life a bit, having cameras in your house, having your children on camera, having your husband discussing your marriage on camera. Like it's a lot. And I just want her to make another series. So she is basking in the glow of this divorce.

And she got everything. And now this Silvio guy is engaged to another socialite who's divorced from another rich person. And this woman works at Elite as well. I think to myself, like, I love Bobby. But where did I mess up in my life that I was not positioned to be meeting and fleecing any of these billionaires?

I suppose you can be super orthodox and super posh and rich. This Julia Hart went to a private school when her parents first moved over from Poland. She was three and she was the only Jewish student at this private school in Texas. And then they moved closer to New York to be in a more religious community.

But I mean, how? How was she always in a position to go from this Lehman Brothers husband to this Silvio Swiss finance guy who seems like a bastard, by the way. I mean, he's been charged with fraud. I think she even charged him with fraud. They say when you marry for money, you earn every penny, but...

You earn everybody. Yeah, what's the saying? If you marry for money, yeah, you earn every penny. You have to work for it. It's hard. It's hard in a different way than being poor is hard. But I don't know. Because I'm looking at that 65 million pound flat and I'm thinking, okay, I will suck this guy off. Whatever it takes. Position me at La Perla in New York so that I can get to know Silvio.

What I like about Silvio, and like maybe he's a philanderer, who knows? He does have ownership of a model agency. I mean, who knows why they split? But he tends to go for women who are over 40. When he got with Julia, she was not only divorced, but had children and was over 40. Now she's a sexy little woman, very tiny, very small, like kind of Ariana Grande size, a pocket princess.

But now this socialite he's engaged to, I googled her. I was like, oh, what's this shit going to be? No, also over 40 and divorced with kids. Silvio is a mature man. He wants to be with a working, like successful, smart businesswoman for a bit, not for long. He will divorce her, but good for him for being able to afford all of these divorces. I'm just so glad she got everything. Don't get even, get everything.

And another woman who won her case was Gwyneth Paltrow. Finally, the ski case where she collided with the man, went to court, put her hand on his shoulder and said, I wish you well. Finally, that's been settled and she won her case too. And it all just makes me very happy. Women are just thriving and winning on telling everybody everything this week.

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This is another niche luxury announcement.

But do you remember, ladies over 40, when Louis Vuitton released its...

Muramaki, I think it's called collaboration when they had the bags that were white with the rainbow LVs all over them and they were tacky as shit. Jessica Simpson had one. Paris Hilton had them. They were the little speedy bags with the rainbow LV were carried by J-Lo with a track suit. I mean, it was the perfect accessory. I don't really know what British people had them, but I'm assuming like

Like all the Essex babes were carrying these and they came out early 2000s. I think probably the year 2000. Yeah. Cause it's surely like the 20th or 25th anniversary. Now they're releasing these again.

so that you can have black with the rainbow, which I thought was awful and I still feel that way, or white with the rainbow, which like it was never my favorite, but it just made me feel so amazing to be over 40 and to be able to afford that, where when I was 20,

It was not in the stratosphere of what I could ever buy. And I saw it on these celebrities and I thought it was so cute. And here I was in my little tracksuit way down. Like, remember that they were so low down these tracksuits, your vagina was basically out. The Juicy Couture knockoff tracksuit that I had. There was a Hooters customer, this amazing Chinese man who was a doctor and

He would tip me loads and he did give me a Louis Vuitton bag at one point, but it was one of the less expensive, like classic Louis Vuitton bags. And I loved it and I still have it. I've had it cleaned. It was a real status symbol for me at the time. And I'm not majorly like a bags girl. You would think now I have loads of designer bags. I don't. It's not my thing. I think they can get stolen easily. Yes, I'm influenced on TikTok by all the Hermes bags.

There's this one love luxury account where people find a sales associate at Hermes. They raise up in like buying stuff. They get to a high enough tier status where they're offered a quota bag and then they buy it and then they take it straight to love luxury on TikTok and they sell it for like twice as much. I don't know what's going on with the whole structure of Hermes.

I don't understand how these bags are apparently a greater investment than gold. I don't have any Hermes bags. I don't know any Hermes sales associates. If I'm brutally honest with you, I think some of the Hermes bags are ugly. Some are nice, some are ugly. But something really spoke to me about this Muramaki collab. It's the nostalgia. And so I went online and I was late to the party, so they were all unavailable. And I thought, oh man, I kind of wanted one and I want it more now than it's unavailable.

So I registered my interest in one special bag and I clicked on notify me when available. And I thought it's never going to be available, whatever. And then while I was flying back from holiday, I got a message from a sales associate who's like, this bag has just become available. Would you like one? And I don't know if it was the altitude or the three gin and tonics that I had had at 9 a.m. But I said, yeah, I do. I really do want it. And they sent me a payment link and I paid for it in the sky like a baller.

And now I'm going to have this rainbow Muramaki bag that I just feel like the 20-year-old me deserves. And I don't even know if I'm going to take it out of the box. I don't even know if I like this bag. Have you seen this Muramaki collection? Are you buying one for yourself to treat the 20-year-old girl inside of you? How do you feel about fake bags? How do you feel about what's going on with Hermes? We are living in an economic crisis always.

I am a champagne socialist. I feel I'm very left wing, too left wing to have a designer handbag, but here you go. I might save it for my children. I might take it back. I just really love it. In other 2000 noughties news, guys, and this is accessible to everyone. This is a real noughties episode, I feel. Octomom is back.

So just when we thought we were safe from the tentacles of Nadia Suleiman, she is spraying her ink all over the coral reef that is our celebrity media diet. She is the subject, y'all, of a Lifetime movie called I Was Octomom and a docuseries called Confessions of Octomom, which premieres in March. And God bless whomever at the streaming services who was like,

Okay, people really wanted to watch the JonBenet case. They really wanted to watch the Dahmer stuff. They really are into docu-series. The Victoria Beckham thing did very well. Meet the Furies was hot. People devoured Molly Mae's docu-series on Prime. Like, who else can we make a docu-series about? Why am I not sinking my teeth into this? Because I have so much, like, noughties knowledge.

Of course we needed an Octomom docuseries. Of course we do. Because at the time, I mean, it was a different time. This poor woman, if you are not au fait with her story, she worked in a mental health institution and then she hurt her back there and got disability insurance and didn't work anymore. So home on disability insurance, Nadia Suleiman, who's single, decides, hey, I'm going to use all this money on IVF.

And she, with that money and the help of IVF, was able to have, guess how many children? 14 total by a sperm donor who none of the kids have ever had contact with to this day. They have an ironclad agreement. It's probably the Norwegian guy who was the subject of the other docuseries about I have a thousand kids and counting. Who doesn't love a docuseries? So Nadia had six kids.

I think there was one twin pregnancy in there and then singleton pregnancies. And then she went to her since disgraced fertility doctor and said, I want a bunch more. Like she just got addicted kind of like I am. She was sort of the first trad wife. Back in the noughties, we were obsessed with families with multiples. Obsessed. And she went to him and said, I want to have a bunch more kids. And he implanted how many embryos do you think? Like,

Let me just give you a brief rundown of how IVF works. They will harvest embryos if they are lucky. And I know a lot of women on here who are choosing not to have children yet. You're like, well, I'll freeze my eggs. I'll freeze my eggs. Freezing your eggs, let's say you get 30 eggs. You might only get three to five embryos from those 30 eggs or less. Like it depends on so many things. A lot of eggs don't survive the freezing process and the thawing process.

Eggs might not be of the quality that they're able to produce genetically tested viable embryos. We don't know why it works or how it works, but the egg to embryo ratio is not great. It could be great for some people. For Nadia, for some reason, this ratio was out of the world. She had 12 embryos and this doctor transferred all fucking 12. Doctors today will transfer one.

If you get one good one, they'll transfer one and they don't even transfer two or three anymore. They used to. If you were over 40, they would transfer like two or three and hope that one would stick. But they found that that actually doesn't increase your likelihood of a live birth or pregnancy. If you do have multiples, that's obviously a higher risk pregnancy. It can kill you. You might have to selectively reduce some of the embryos. It's just like a dangerous game.

And I have a girlfriend who was over 40. She did IVF on the NHS and she had two viable embryos. They transferred them both because she was over 40 and it was like her last hurrah. They're like, let's just put them both in. And one of them split. So then she had triplets, two identical twins and one fraternal twin triplets. And I've never heard from her. The babies are like four or five now. I assume she's very busy.

But yeah, embryos that are frozen and thawed are more likely to split than just a natural pregnancy embryo or a fresh embryo is likely to split. So they usually only put back one. Why this Frankenstein in 2008 decided to transfer 12, I will never know, but he was reported and he lost his medical license. And that's the end of him by the grace of God, because he could have killed her.

But instead of killing her, eight of the embryos resulted in live births. And if you're my age and you were watching the Octomom thing play out, like we saw her doing interviews, this huge belly that was full of like,

really painful looking shark attack stretch marks. I'm not body shaming everyone, but like the human body is not meant to have eight babies inside of it at one time. And thankfully, well, it was nine, I think, and then reduced to eight. One of, I don't know, but anyway, she gave birth to eight babies and it took 42 doctors and nurses to perform this C-section. And thankfully all the babies were alive and well, even though they were all premature, born at 31 weeks, the smallest one was a pound and eight ounces. Um,

No one wants that for their child. It's higher risk. And luckily, we can take care of preemie babies now and they can be absolutely fine. But it's as a new mom, like anyone who's had a premature baby knows. I haven't, but I've heard like it's every parent's worst nightmare. It's really touch and go. It's scary. You have to leave them in the NICU and go home and worry about them and not be able to hold them. And so now this woman is going home with 14 total kids.

And what was she going to do to support them? Well, what do you think? This was pre-OnlyFans, but she got into nude modeling, pornography, all of the rest to support this family. And where has she been? Where are these kids now? They're Violet's age. And I cannot wait to hear from them. And I just can't wait to the docuseries. She said there were no healthy opportunities for Octomom. Can we just take a minute with that nickname from Octomom?

We were so mean. Tabloid culture was so mean to take a woman's name away. Her name is Nadia, Ms. Suleiman. Never referred to as that when I was growing up. Just Octomom, like she was a James Bond villain.

There were no opportunities for Octomom. I was doing what I was told to do and saying what I was told to say. I was pretending to be a fake, a caricature, which is something I'm not. And I was doing it out of desperation and scarcity so I could provide for my family. When you're pretending to be something you're not, at least for me, you end up falling on your face.

The breaking point came for her when she saw her eldest non-octuplet daughter emulating her OnlyFans behavior at only 10, like doing posing and trying to be sexy. And she was like, nah.

Here's how she muddled through the early years. She said, "I paid for nannies until the babies were two, and that's when we were really struggling financially. Eventually, I just had to lean into my faith, my very strong faith in God. It wasn't until that I did that everything fell into place beautifully." It's unclear how right she got with God because she filed for personal bankruptcy in 2012, her home was foreclosed, and she was charged with fraud in 2014.

As of 2018, she was working as a counselor. Huh? What's going on? We have this thing in our family where we say, what's going on? Because Fenugreys does that a lot. I don't know what it's from. She always goes, huh? What's going on? Or she goes, come on. Such a funny kid. Oh, I don't think that I would really feel safe.

In the hands of Octomom as my counselor. Let's say I walk in and I'm like, yeah, I've got a few problems in my marriage. I'm not sure. Like, I might have a shopping addiction. Oh, what? You had 14 babies. Great. Nadia has been very open with her children about her past sex work. She said, they know. They went through it with me. It's a huge weight lifted off all of them when I went back to who I was. We were struggling financially, but it was a blessing to be free from that. Look,

I don't fault this woman for wanting to have a bunch of kids. Like I said, she's the first trad mom of her time. We're watching Ballerina Farms. How many kids does she have? She wants more. She's got like nine. No, she didn't have them all at once in such a science fiction horrific way. But we like to see big families. We were also captivated at that time by John and Kate Plus 8.

And they used fertility treatments, but in a different way. So the beauty of John and Kate Plus 8, Kate's haircut, by the way, was the original Karen haircut. She's got that short haircut with pieces down the side and very visible like zebra highlights. You got to search John and Kate Plus 8 if you don't know them. And they had such a toxic marriage. But who wouldn't with that many kids?

And they had a reality TV show. And that was the way to pay for all your kids, I guess, back then and our fascination with them. They had twins, Maddie and Cara, by fertility treatment. And then they went back for more fertility treatment to have just one more. And so they didn't harvest embryos. They did hormone injections to stimulate Kate's ovaries because she had PCOS and

And with that, it's a lot harder to predict how many you're going to get. They could do a scan and see how many follicles you have that look the right size to release an egg. And then they shoot in sperm. It's called IUI. They inseminate you like with your husband's sperm at the right time that they think you're going to ovulate, which is weird as well. I guess when they do that, they can get it right in the place that it needs to be. But like,

Just have sex with your husband, like time it and then go home and have sex if you're gonna, I don't know. I guess maybe you would need IUI if you have like killer cells maybe in your vag, which Kate, if anyone definitely would have, or like the sperm has motility issues, maybe it has problems getting like to where, who knows, won't ask for directions. So it looked, Kate said, like there were four mature follicles. And I think that's a fair enough numbers. Even if you release four eggs,

Some of them may not be the right.

like some might not fertilize. I think that's a good number to have one, but somehow they ended up with seven and then one embryo didn't make it. And it was six, six. And she had six babies. So two at home and then six more. And that family just fell the fuck apart. I mean, it was bad, like real toxic energy from all of them. There was one interview where Kate had all the children on like a breakfast show and

And she was always like, I mean, I don't know if I'd be mean to my kids too if I had that many, like constantly wanting something. And I was not in love with my husband and everyone in America was making fun of my haircut.

But one of the little girls was like, can I have some water, please, mommy? And she goes, no. And then she opened her water bottle, took a sip and put it back down on the sofa. Like wouldn't give the child who's about to be trotted out on television some water. And those kids are old now as well. I think the older girls are probably 20. And the sex tuplets are probably Violet's age as well. And I would like to hear from them. I think one of them has written a book.

And one of them, I mean, some of them don't speak. Oh, they're 18. That's how old they are. And one of them, I think, is being treated for violent mental health issues, I think. I mean, I hate to speak about an 18-year-old that way, but that's what I've read. All right. There's a sexy rumor going around Hollywood of a hot new power couple.

And that is Barack Obama and Jennifer Aniston. Baracknifer Obamaston is the new celeb couple. And this is not new. People fancy Barack Obama. They always have. And they've loved to link him with hot celebs. Because when Barack Obama first emerged as like just a wonderful man and a great president, people were linking him to Beyonce, which would have been a hot couple. But I think he's already a hot couple with Michelle.

Michelle Obama is the kind of woman that if I were a man, I would want to marry. I don't want some stay-at-home wag, even though that's what I'm married to now. Sexy, sex pot, ex-footballer.

I would want someone who is like fighting for social justice and speaking so articulately and doing such a great job of making me look like a stronger president. Like that's what Michelle Obama is. But we haven't seen her around lately. The rumors started simmering after two high profile appearances that the first lady customarily attends with the former president. So it was Jimmy Carter's funeral and Trump's second inauguration.

Jennifer Aniston was there. Barack Obama was there. No Michelle. Though I understand why Michelle would not want to go to Trump's second inauguration. I mean, he has been horrible about her and about most women and is a convicted sex offender. Why did Jennifer Aniston go to Trump's second inauguration? That's fucking weird. So people do believe that Barack Obama went to the fuck salon and asked for the Rachel.

And this all started on a podcast. A podcast called... Ladies and gentlemen, we are now boarding Group A. Please have your boarding passes ready to scan. If your phone is cracked, old, or was chewed up by your Chihuahua travel companion, please refrain from holding up the line. And instead, simply go to Verizon and trade in any phone in any condition from one of their top brands for the new Samsung Galaxy S25 Plus with Galaxy AI on Unlimited Ultimate. And watch or tap. Also, on that...

Service plan required for watch or tap. Trade-in and additional terms apply. See Verizon.com for details. Hey, let's talk about your expense report. I didn't submit an expense report. You will. Custom saddles and dog training services are not within policy. What are you talking about? SAP.

Who Weekly by Lindsay Webber.

So she said on a Patreon episode, which can only be listened to if you subscribe to the podcast, that there was a rumor from, quote, reliable sources. And it could obviously be made up, but that's what she's heard, that these two are banging. And the trouble with media, like this is how it works is.

The New York Times wouldn't publish something like that because it's totally unsubstantiated and they can be sued. But the New York Times, for example, can publish that a smaller publication said something. So bigger media platforms can pick up smaller media platforms stories and kind of absolve themselves of journalism and like responsibility and reporting that.

And that is how the Justin Baldoni, Blake Lively, Taylor Swift stuff, which I'm totally sick of, that's how that got so big. Because smaller publications would be seeded these things about Blake Lively, about Justin Baldoni, and then they would get bigger because they'd be reported by bigger institutions. And then you don't know if it's a lie or if it's true. And so I don't believe this at all. I mean, I cannot see it. The UK version of this would be what? Keir Starmer and Holly Willoughby?

Yeah. I think we all wish that we could fuck Barack Obama. That's what we want. And we have these little fantasies and this is how women work. Like, of course, we're happy that he's got a solid marriage with Michelle, but we don't have fantasies about marriage.

You know, getting gang banged by 1057 men in their mismatched socks and decrepit underpants. We think like, hmm, well, maybe maybe there's a world where I could be with Barack Obama. Just me? Maybe. Some very sad news about a children's entertainer who is beloved. This goes pre-naughties, actually. Pee Wee Herman and his posthumous play closet.

He's got a documentary coming out as well. It's called Pee Wee As Himself. It premiered last month at the 2025 Sundance Film Festival. The legendary comedian came out as gay after concealing his sexuality for the entirety of his career. Now, I understand why a children's entertainer, especially of the 90s, might do this, of the 80s, when the AIDS pandemic was rife, homophobia was rife, and in many cases...

tragically, homophobia found a way to equate being gay with an interest in children and a perversion. And some of that stigma lasts until this day. And it's really awful. And I think it plagued Pee Wee Herman because he entertained children and he thought, oh, well, I'm not going to mix my personal life into this because people will make disgusting assumptions about me.

And I find that gay men in the entertainment industry that I talk to, they still are a little bit cagey sharing about their sexuality because they find, and this is their words, not mine, a mainstream audience is very comfortable with camp.

So they would love a gay entertainer to be like, here I am. Here I go. Include me on the hen do. I'm gay. I'm fun. I'll dance with you. I'll come on the night out. I'll be your best friend. But as soon as that gay man talks about intimacy with a life partner or like having sex with another man, then a mainstream audience get uncomfortable.

They're like, no, no, no. We don't actually want to know about your personal life and what you get up to in your bedroom. We just want you to be fun and to be gay for us, like be a punchline for us, be a source of entertainment. But we don't want to know what's actually going on with your intimate identity. And I think that's very sad. And maybe people don't want to know what's going on with my intimate identity that's heterosexual either. But there's space for me to talk about that.

Where if a gay man talks about it, I don't know. They just don't feel as comfortable from what they tell me. So sadly, the last time Paul Rubens saw his partner, Guy, his long-term partner, it was when he was visiting him in hospital as he was dying of AIDS.

He said, I was out of the closet and then I went back in the closet. I wasn't pursuing the Paul Rubens career. I was pursuing the Pee Wee Herman career, he explained in the film. I hid behind an alter ego. I mean, not well. What little I knew about being gay as a young child, I definitely thought Pee Wee Herman was gay. I spent my entire adult life hiding. I was a huge weed head. Again, not well.

If you haven't seen Pee Wee's Playhouse, like Google it now. It's sort of Teletubbies meets like Mr. Tumble on acid at the very least. I was secretive about my sexuality, even to my friends out of self-hatred or self-preservation. I was conflicted about my sexuality, but fame was way more complicated.

On July 30th, 2023, Rubens died from cancer at age 70 after keeping that diagnosis private for years as well. So this will be a really interesting documentary because it seems we knew nothing about Pee Wee Herman. And he entertained me for years. He was, you know, he walked so that Blippi could run. He was an incredible children's entertainer and like such a unique talent and

And he was canceled in the 90s for wanking in a movie theater. Yeah. So back then, before the internet, you could watch porn in a cinema. I mean, I suppose. And I don't know what city this happened in. Somewhere in America, he went to one of these gay porn cinemas and was wanking. And you're not allowed to do that, which feels weird to me.

It feels like if you're going to have a gay porn cinema, then you equip it with a wipe clean surface, baby wipes, private little booths. Because what are you doing in a porn cinema if you're not wanking, I guess? You're just watching it.

like trying not to explode and then like rushing home so you can remember what you saw and then wank in the privacy of your own home. It just feels like entrapment to me. I don't think I know any children's entertainers now, but I imagine that they would surely want a private life that is separate from their onscreen persona. Like imagine Miss Rachel was secretly into like Fyndom in her private life.

She's like, hello, friends. How many duckies can you count? Count them now, bitch. Whip. Who knows what she's like? But I feel like whatever you are as an entertainer, you're entitled to have that very private from who you are at home. Even I am very different at home to who I am as an entertainer. But I'm like the backwards. I work as a top. I love as a bottom. I'm very nice and boring at home.

Thank you so much for listening to another episode of Telling Everybody Everything. If you ever want to write me an email, it is tellingeverybodyeverything at gmail.com. I am back on tour.

I apologize to anyone who came to see me in Dorking last night. I had so much fun. I always like going to Surrey, but I felt like I was a little bit rusty. I've taken two months off the tour and it felt like an out of body experience to be back. I was like, huh? How do we do this? It was so much fun. I got some incredible text messages from people, their dilemmas, their

We're quite interesting, quite interesting in Surrey. If you ever have a dilemma, come to my show and tell it to me live or write it into the podcast. This weekend, I'm in Coventry tonight. I'm in Stockport on Saturday, Liverpool Sunday. I think those all might be sold out, but sometimes they release tickets on the door. Then next week, I'm February 6th in Leicester, February 7th in Worthing, February 8th in Wolverhampton, and in Cardiff on...

on Sunday. I'm on tour until June and I'm actually going to announce some international dates very soon. I've not announced it yet, but I can secretly tell you it's Canada and it's May. See you next week.

Ladies and gentlemen, we are now boarding Group A. Please have your boarding passes ready to scan. If your phone is cracked, old, or was chewed up by your Chihuahua travel companion, please refrain from holding up the line. And instead, simply go to Verizon and trade in any phone in any condition from one of their top brands for the new Samsung Galaxy S25 Plus with Galaxy AI on Unlimited Ultimate and a watch or tab. Also on now. Service plan required for watch or tab. Trade in and additional terms apply. See Verizon.com for details.

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