My Hands Are Still Wet
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Hello and welcome to another episode of Telling Everybody Everything. I have just returned from Canada where Bobby was a guest on one of my episodes and as ever, people are like, make him speak louder. If I could, I would. I would do it on the podcast. I would do it in my marriage. We would all love for Bobby to speak out and speak up.

but he just kicks back and he's like you know what all the wonderful things in life will come to me and that is called white male privilege i loved having bobby with me although i just feel like we are always interrupted by something or some things or some people or some jobs and every time i think i have a holiday bobby's like no you're still at work just because your work is fun like you forget and um every time we go to canada we do want to see people

But we didn't really have a date. We didn't. And I ruined the romance with one very troubling incident. And you know that I am not about the toilet humor. That's just not me. It doesn't exist in my stand-up. Although they do say the older you get...

You talk more about, you know, the bathroom and I suppose like maybe that's what's happening. I just feel more comfortable than ever speaking about stuff like that. But basically, you guys know that I have celiac disease. I was diagnosed late, which is a mystery because my sister, Carrie, has very severe celiac disease. My dad had pretty bad adult onset celiac disease or maybe he always had celiac disease.

and he was just like shitting himself and nobody cared because it was like 1950s Ireland and he went to school barefoot so I don't know I don't know how it was undiagnosed for so long but I chose to believe that my dad and I just probably had late onset celiac

I was diagnosed not from symptoms, so like the normal symptoms of celiac, although they vary. It manifests as an allergy, but it is an autoimmune disease. It's an intolerant to wheat, barley, rye, sometimes oats if they've been contaminated, though not if they haven't been contaminated, flour, different things. It means that you can't eat any bread, any pizza, any pasta, loads of packet foods, loads of sauces have gluten in them.

And it makes like eating in public a little bit difficult. Although there are certain places who are really accommodating for food intolerances and celiac is becoming, you know, easier to navigate than ever. And I hate to even talk about it because the wacky celiac is largely are humorless and they have come for me on this podcast before, um,

I was diagnosed not because of the usual symptoms like abdominal pain and cramps and diarrhea and rashes and swelling and headaches and brain fog. I was just having miscarriages. And as part of the recurrent miscarriage screening, he screened for celiac because it is an autoimmune disease. And he was like, oh yeah, you have like really high celiac. And I was like, no, I don't. Because I'd never had symptoms that I knew to recognize as symptoms, though it turns out miscarriage is.

is potentially a symptom. So then I said on the podcast, oh gosh, well, don't eliminate gluten from your diet because then you will be allergic to it. And I said that kind of tongue in cheek, like obviously if you have celiac, I'm not recommending that you eat gluten, but I was living a life where I didn't like bread. I didn't have a lot of gluten in my life.

But I could get away with the odd soy sauce or like buffalo chicken strip if I wanted one, or I could certainly have gravy. I would never have symptoms. But then so that I could have Fred and so that I could have Fena, I totally, totally, totally cut gluten out of my diet and blow me down. Like if I eat it now.

Then I heard Dono Porter saying on a podcast earlier, and it really rings true, I basically go into labor. So my trip to Canada was very dicey because I kept eating poutine, which of course has gravy in it. It would probably give someone diarrhea even if they weren't allergic to gravy. But I wanted to go on a shopping trip and I almost...

was in a big trouble in the Shoppers Drug Mart pharmacy, which yeah, you think you're in the right place for diarrhea, but there was no Imodium quickly enough. I just had to be like, oh my gosh,

What am I going to do? I had to think on my feet for once. And now I understand how people with IBS, how they live their lives. Because I was like, what is going to happen now? I'm going to have to leave my shopping basket, and I'm going to have to go to a nearby pub. The Hooters was not far, but I could not sink so low as to be Miss Hooters Toronto on the wall and having diarrhea as a 41-year-old woman who didn't buy anything 20 years later. I just couldn't have that. So I was like, oh my god, what am I going to do? What am I going to do?

And then the feeling passed and I was able to pay for all of my purchases and then run to the hotel, which took like 10 minutes and I made it back. So that was, that should have been a warning to me that like, all right, Catherine, quit playing fast and loose with the poutine. You are allergic to it. You are now symptomatic of celiac disease. You have the classic symptoms. Don't mess around. But instead I just kept eating poutine every day, every day, every day, every

And when we went into filming the eliminations, pun not intended, of Canada's Got Talent, I was in this little pink dress with my legs out, which I rarely do, but I decided with some tanning cream that it would be appropriate to get my legs out on this occasion.

I was like, okay, I'm about to walk out. So everyone's set. And you know what? I could have used the washroom like hours before this, but I thought everything was fine. I guess I was also maybe a little bit nervous for the contestants in this semifinal because they are all so talented. And I was stood at the side of the stage about to do this grand entrance through the audience. And we were like seconds away. And I said to the floor manager, this wonderful woman called Anne, I had to make a game time decision. I was like,

"Anne, can we hold?" And she spoke into her little head mic. She was like, "Standby, please standby, please standby." And everybody was like, "What, why?" And she was like, "What do you need?" And she was so great. She was so great and she's a little bit older than me and it's so important and wonderful to see older women working in television and live theater and performance and on crews. Like you very seldomly see that, I'm sad to say. And twice that I've seen it has actually been in Canada.

The floor director for Just for Laughs was a woman older than me and now Ann, older than me. And she's amazing. And she works alongside this guy called Kevin who's amazing and also older than me.

But anyway, because now you work in TV and it's like kids, it's like 19 year olds fresh out of film school who don't know how to make tea and they're full of like zip. And I love them for that. But where do the older women go? I'm just asking. But luckily I had one in front of me because Anne had the presence of mind to be like, all right, I hear you. You are not usually asking me to hold. So like, what's up?

And I said, "I'm sorry to say this, but I think I'm going to be sick." And I used the words, "I think I'm going to be sick," just because I'm miked. And no one needs to know that I've been cheating on my celiac limitations. And I definitely ate poutine right before coming on stage.

And then I thought like, I might be okay to sit there, but it is like a three hour record. And when I definitely wanted to avoid was flagging that I needed a break in the middle of a performance. Like that would have been monstrous. One of the things that makes me so professional in the UK is whatever I am filming, I never ask for a break. I don't pee. I'm never like, and there are other people like, God bless them, whatever they're famous, they can do what they want. Maybe they have like urine infections. I don't know, kidney problems, but they'll be like, oh,

can we have a way? And I'm like, what are you doing? Are you not getting paid? Like sit the fuck down.

answer the questions and be funny for three hours. Like it's not going to kill you, but whatever. So on this occasion, I was just like, and we got a hold. She's like, standby. I said, I think I'm going to be sick. And then Bobby was with me. Luckily, I loved having him as a wingman, even though it wasn't very romantic. And I was like, Bobby, I need to go to the loo. And so I ran like to the public washroom because we were making this grand entrance through the audience. So we were no longer backstage. We

And I went to the public washroom and I made it just in time. And by the time I came out, which was like seconds later, you know what it's like when you got to go, you got to go and you're quick.

I like ran out of the washroom, washed my hands really thoroughly because I'm about to sit next to Howie Mandel who like, all right, I'm not getting like any germs on my hands when I go to a public washroom. But I was just thinking ahead. I was thinking like, okay, Howie hates germs. He knows that I've just been to the bathroom. He knows I might be sick. I don't know what he thinks. Like maybe I've thrown up, but he definitely also knows I've touched things in a public washroom and he's famously a germaphobe. So I was like, okay.

i washed my hands really well and i ran out to make it in time and by the time it like maybe 90 seconds had passed total and all these producers were standing on the outside of the washroom and bobby said they were all on headsets being like does she need a medic does she need a medic stand by stand by bobby's like listen to me

my wife has been eating poutine all week and she has diarrhea like he was giving them the long and the short of it and he was like she does not need a medic she's going to be absolutely fine she's a pro she just needs this like quick trip to the loo before we begin a three hour record and she's not gonna bother you again and bobby was right i ran out of there i made it with like a two minute total delay in the entire production we opened the show and we like walked down the stairs and we went on and no one would have known you know like there are longer delays for a camera issue or a lighting issue whatever

And the last thing I said to Howie, because he's like, oh my God, what's wrong? Are you sick? Because of course he hates germs. I said, I don't know why I said this, but the first thing that came to my mind was I had blurted out, don't worry, my hands are still wet.

And he was like, oh, what was on them? Like still wet from what? And I thought that that would be a comforting thing to say. And what I meant by that was I washed them so much. Like they're really, really clean. Then I used hand sanitizer and I just ran out here. Like I haven't touched anything since then. I haven't touched a doorknob. I didn't use the hand dryer, which some people think has germs in it. Like what I meant to say is like my hands have been freshly sanitized and that should put your mind at ease. But instead I think, you know,

How he was like, uh, what, what? I think, I don't know. I might have panicked him briefly, but he's a pro as well. So we filmed the episode and it was great. And I'm so humbled by the level of talent in Canada. And I can't wait for you to see Canada's Got Talent. And like, you know, celiacs, you're right. Do not cheat on the gluten avoidance. Don't do it. It's not worth it.

And you will see clips, I think, of Canada's Got Talent online if you're unable to watch it in the UK, where I know a lot of my listeners live, or in America, where some of my listeners live. Hello to you. It always goes viral, like the wonderful performances, so you'll be able to see them. And the judges had some disagreements and deliberations in the eliminations, but you brace yourself for an amazing, maybe best ever across any Got Talent event.

series of any country final, the live finals in May. And I think episodes start airing from March. So it's all very exciting.

Other things to watch out for me on over the Christmas period. Christmas Day, I'm on Ainsley Harriot's cooking show right before the King's speech. And I love Ainsley Harriot. I said to him, do you have any haters in the world, like at all? Does that exist for you? I forgot about racism when I asked him that. Like surely there are some British people who have comments.

commented some Daily Mail things over the years, but I just didn't think like that. I just thought, look at Ainsley Harriot, like what a magnanimous character. I love him. I love him. And I appeared on his cooking show alongside some very good friends. And I'm also on Michael McIntyre's The Wheel on December 21st. And that's super fun. And then I'm on Big Fat Quiz on the 26th of December. So if you are enjoying holiday entertainment with your family, please watch TV.

In betwixt your meals and your games and your walks, please watch television because everything can't be a podcast. When we landed, it was 6.30 in the a.m. on the eve of Fena's birthday, but that was a Sunday and that's when we had to have her party because that's when people are available. And to be honest with you, Fena doesn't even go to nursery yet. She doesn't have a lot of friends. I invited some of my very good friends and their children. Bobby invited this really prolific family

breeder from the golf club. He's got a lot of kids. I don't know how many kids he has, but every time I see him, he's got like a 20-year-old child, a three-year-old child, a seven-year-old child. This guy, this guy is the George Foreman of the golf club. He's just got a lot of beautiful kids and they all came and they brought wonderful, really spot-on presents for Fena. And she just, this is the first birthday that she's actually, you know, understanding. And Maui came and

Moana came and I planned this party before I even knew there was Moana 2 and Moana is about to be a hot ticket again because Moana 2 is a good movie but Fena is fearless and headstrong just like the real Moana and she really connected with the first original movie

And if you want to book Moana and Maui for your party, we booked them through Magical Princess Parties. They're based out of Essex and I follow them on Instagram. And I met their wonderful leader who was then playing Rapunzel at a friend's birthday. And I've loved them ever since. It's a good shout to get a professional party princess. And Maui was awesome. He could juggle coconuts. It was quite the affair.

We rented out Red Stairs Soft Play in my neighborhood, which not a lot of my even local friends had known about. We made the space so beautiful. I think it's good to put on a big party for your kids, even when they're just two years old. It's one of the things that I really love to do. And poor Fana is a December baby. And, you know, I have been influenced since having a December baby by

loads of memes and jokes about those of you who are overlooked for Christmas because everybody's broke or everybody's like saving up or you are gifted one time for the two holidays by your parents. And we don't want to play Fena like that. So we won't. She will have a very extravagant party every year of her life.

And we did a little bit of shopping in Canada, though we did not go over our customs limit because the pound to the Canadian dollar is seriously two to one. Two to one, which is very scary for Canada. Like what even influenced that? I don't know. I have noticed that people have fallen out of favor with Justin Trudeau, who used to be this like hunk on a surfboard. And now it seems like,

People don't like them as much. Anyway, you have written me some dilemmas, some emails. I can't wait to get to them. It's been a couple of weeks since I've heard from you. So let's do that right after the break.

If you're a facilities manager at a university, you know students rely on the cafeteria for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and the occasional late-night snack. So when a dishwasher breaks down and dirty plates pile up, the mess hall can turn messy in the blink of an eye. Enter Grainger. With over a million industrial-grade products and fast delivery, the product you need now is never far away. So you can turn that dishwasher back into a lean, clean washing machine. Call.

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Catherine, hello! I'm writing from Brisbane, Australia. As you described in your previous episodes, it's the moms and women who really put the effort into making Christmas magical. From buying presents, planning the dinner, and organizing the elaborate decorations. Without us girls putting in the hard yards, it would just be another intolerable family engagement. This is in reference to Bobby saying that I go too OTT for the holidays.

And thank you for so many emails that I received about this. Joanne told me that a lot of you wrote in because what is all this Christmas magic being appropriated to Father Christmas? Oh, it's the magic of Christmas. It's the invisible magic. It's Father Christmas and his elves. Yes. And his main elf is your mother.

As a mom of two girls under four, organizing Christmas is almost like taking up a second job starting each November. This is why I take great issue with an overweight, white, middle-aged man taking credit for all our hard work and money. Yeah, in your face, Father Christmas, you piece of shit. Men have taken enough from us already. Just give us credit for this one holiday. I almost don't want my children to believe in St. Nick because what example have I set?

setting for them, making it acceptable for a man to take credit for their work. I mean, this is a level of feminism that I have not even considered. Let's face it, we all know Mrs. Claus would be the one behind the scenes washing his sweaty red Santa undies, setting his alarm on Christmas Eve and planning his sleigh routes. No one gives her any acknowledgement. Why can't a woman be the face of a wonderful day? So my question is...

Is Santa something that we should continue to, I'm using my words very carefully. If there are any young ears in the car, don't worry. Continue to, you know, participate in for the joy of children or is Santa holding back modern feminism? I know you also have young kids. I'm keen to hear your thoughts. And okay, I will say this about what I'm going to now call radical feminism because lady, this is a little outside the box for a lot of people.

Because people get mad enough about feminism just as a concept, but what they definitely don't want is feminism ruining the things they love.

And this is where you'll even start to lose women. Women will be like, oh, but why would I not continue to participate in the magic of Santa Claus? Like my kids love Santa. I love Santa. These are the same women who like took their husband's last name and wore a white dress and they don't want to do away with certain traditions. Anti-feminist though they are. I think we just...

have to accept that anything rooted in ancient stories like Santa, he's thousands of years old, then that is going to be reflective of the attitudes of the time. But Santa has many elves. I know that a lot of people have naughty elves at home and some of those are ladies. And, you know, maybe there's room to learn more about Mrs. Claus.

Oh my gosh. Holy shit. All right. You are not getting any royalties from this if I ever make it. Oh no. I got to stop saying good ideas out loud. I've really got to stop because you know what? I don't even know if the world is ready for this.

I really don't know, but I've been slowly, quietly working on a rom-com idea because I used to love when rom-coms were actually funny. No offense, although I saw an Amy Schumer movie is coming out soon on Netflix and I'm really hoping it's going to be funny. I love Amy Schumer and I have faith in her because I loved Bridesmaids so much. But I have also seen the magic of Elf and Will Ferrell and how clever he is to

to write not only a really funny movie, but a timeless Christmas classic. Like that is the way to really retire. To be like Elf, Ka-ching, Every Christmas.

I think there's room to take the true story of Father Christmas, because we all love Santa, but tell it from the perspective of Mrs. Claus and maybe make it romantic, like wicked, like the when did Santa and Mrs. Claus meet? And could that be a feminist story? And could it still have all the Christmas magic and be funny and be romantic and really set people's imaginations alight and

I think that you can have your cake and eat it too. You can reimagine something in a new feminist gaze because women's stories just weren't told and then those women became invisible. So we don't know a lot about Mrs. Claus. She likes gingerbread. Okay, what else? She doesn't use Botox. That I can tell. But she has a story. We've just not told it. So that is mine. I own that if I can write it faster and better than anyone else. And thank you for your free advice.

Absolutely no credit to you. I'll invite you to the premiere, but I can't afford to give you any of the cut. Are you watching Real Housewives of Beverly Hills? Because, ooh, it's so annoying. I'm not going to be able to think of her name right now.

But she's a really funny actress. I think she's been in a few Christmas films. And she, for a time, was married to one of the creators of The Simpsons. And in their divorce, he gave her 30% of his royalties from The Simpsons. And this was like right when it began. And who knew it would run and make like millions of dollars for 30 years. And she is one of the richest women on that show, all because of her Simpsons royalties. So like I could negotiate you maybe 1%, but I don't know.

Catherine, my son might be my deceased father. I cannot believe what I've just heard you say on today's episode about Fred potentially having some kind of supernatural connection to Bobby's deceased father. I knew what you were going to say before you even said it because my son did the exact same thing. My dad died in 2014. I'm sorry.

And my eldest son has his name as well as his middle name. Between the ages of three and four, he often said things like, when I was your daddy or when you were a little girl and I was your daddy, we did X, Y, Z. It used to really freak me out, but then I quite liked it. And now he's almost five and he stopped doing it. If I was into supernatural stuff, I suppose I might think that's because he's now at school and is losing a bit of that innocence that makes children more susceptible to hearing from people who have passed.

I happen to think that having just learned about families and their makeup, he was just trying out saying different things about different members of the family without the understanding of exactly who everyone was or that he was one set person. You don't seem bothered by it or feel any weirdness about it. But for me, hearing that another child has done this is great. And I hope you feel the same. And this is what's fun about this.

the afterlife and not really knowing what goes on. Yes, maybe your child and my child were both chatting shit. They say all kinds of crazy stuff. Mommy, I used to be a carrot, you know? All right. But when a little boy with your dad's name and a little boy with my husband's deceased father's name start saying things like, I used to be your dad, you know, and we used to do this, this, this, and they like get stuff right and none of the other kids do it,

You choose to believe what you wish, I guess. And it's lovely that I think you and I both have the same approach where we're like, who knows, but isn't it nice? Like some people feel that their past loved one visits in the form of a bird, like a little sparrow who lands on the window that she used to look out of all the time. And they have little jokes within the family of, oh, like there's dad again. And who knows? We just don't know.

And if I died, I would haunt my children in a fun way. And if I could come back as one of my grandkids, I would absolutely do that. There's nothing better. Ooh, speaking of nothing better, someone's mummy is sexting the vicar.

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Please play responsibly. Must be 18 years or older to purchase, play, or claim. If you're a facilities manager at a university, you know students rely on the cafeteria for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and the occasional late-night snack. So when a dishwasher breaks down and dirty plates pile up, the mess hall can turn messy in the blink of an eye. Enter Grainger. With over a million industrial-grade products and fast delivery, the product you need now is never far away. So you can turn that dishwasher back into a lean, clean washing machine. Call.

Click ranger.com or just stop by. Ranger, for the ones who get it done. Catherine, my mom's having a sexting affair with the vicar at our church. My mom's married. The vicar is married. Mom's a very religious woman who initially became friends with him for guidance. This is getting very fleabag and I love it.

Anyway, I found out and I confronted her. She admitted to everything. She said she wasn't sure what to reply when the conversation turned from friendly to flirty. Oh, so the vicar started it. She did wonder how I knew since I lived at the other end of the country, but I can't say as I promised the source who told me that I wouldn't. To be honest, I've seen a few of the messages and it's clear he knows what he's doing and very clear she should not reciprocate at this level. Unfortunately, oh,

Unfortunately from my eyes and that of my informant, there was even a dick pic from the vicar. A Vic dick pic! Anyway, before I vomit,

She promised not to talk to him again, but I think he's pressuring her into it and he wants it to go further. I saw the messages to back this up. My mother is vulnerable to men like him and he clearly has control over her. This will literally ruin my family if it gets out and I have young siblings who are still in school and I need my parents to be solid for them like the vicar's dick. You didn't say that. I said that. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. Anyway,

I need to know what I can do. I found the safeguarding department of the church parish, but it all requires me to give my information and the information of those involved. I don't really want to put my mom's name on anything as he's the one in power and he is abusing power to go after vulnerable women. Why should her name be dragged through the mud? I'm sure there is a listener out there, if not you, who can help.

or could point me in the right direction. If he's doing this to my mom, there will be others. I have proof, if you want to see it, to verify my story. I'm just trying to keep this to a minimum as he is a very well-known and popular figure within the local community. Okay, this is getting cult-like, and it's a slippery slope with religion because...

People can get very fanatical. They put a lot of trust. This is why a teacher is not allowed to sleep with a student, even if that student is 18, because they're in a position of power. You put trust in them. You look to them for guidance. It is an imbalance of power. And I think there are rules about having sex with different members of the community like that. Policemen, definitely vickers and vickers.

bosses you know what i mean so like maybe your your position and a listener will know this better so please point me in the right direction if you know please email us tootsweet joanne this is going straight to the top of next week telling everybody everything at gmail.com if you have any advice but i would bypass this like safeguarding department because

If the church is famous for anything, it is like hiding the sins of its clergymen. You know what I mean? So I can see them covering this up or blaming your mom. And also you should not have to give any of your personal information or your mother's personal information. This should be like independently investigated and adjudicated. And you should be able to send those texts anonymously to someone. And I think it might even be the police.

If it were me, I think I would reach out to the police. I'd be like, hey, I have this issue and I need to know where to turn because I think what's happening could be the beginning of a cult. I don't know how many women are like this. He's in a position of power. I don't feel safe going to the governing body. Like, how can you advise me?

And maybe like just a really sound detective or police officer could, if not help you, like if it's not a crime, at least point you in the right direction. Like that's what they're there for. There are people in the community who are available to help you. And especially if they think that this might be a bigger thing and there's money involved, like people donating to the church, people being under the power of like the church. I mean, I don't know how deep this goes and neither do you.

This man might not be like a sex predator, but there's something very dicey about it. I don't like it. I suppose like we could independently confront him. You don't want to do that, but I wish there was a way like during service that you could steal his phone.

And then, like, okay, so you need to take a live photo of him on your phone because this is what a lot of girlfriends are doing now. It has to be a live photo so that it moves. Take a video or live photo of his face during one of his sermons and then, like, steal his phone somehow. Like, find a reason to chat to him. Or, like, I don't know. Now this is a crime. But we need to get in that phone and see how many women he's doing this to. But I think he should have his devices confiscated. Like, is he not? Right?

Bound to different rules like what is the ethos of a vicar? Failing that I know I wonder if it would get your mother in trouble to tell his wife and I never say tell the wife She could turn a blind eye to the whole thing herself, but I just feel like this guy needs to get caught I feel like it is your instinct is probably right this probably goes deeper than just your mother and This man could be starting a cult and I don't like him and we're gonna get to the bottom of this. I

Catherine, someone let out a secret and I'm being blamed. I'm one of your teen listeners. I have a problem at school that's giving me anxiety. Little backstory, my friend told me that his girlfriend gives him oral sex. I was very surprised. Not many in my year get up to that. Since he told me his secret, I let him know that I fancy his mate.

We both promised not to tell. Well, days later, there's gossip all up and down the school that his girlfriend gives blowjobs and he must think that I'm the one who blabbed. And now he's told his friend I fancy him as punishment. I feel awful. How can I fix this and prove I'm not the one who let out this secret? Listen, you cannot prove that you're not the one who let out this secret. All you can do is

is distance yourself from the secret. Whatever you have said, say nothing. Hear no evil, see no evil. Like this is the mantra of high school. You just need to be like that. It's not a secret, by the way. It's a rumor because you don't know it's true. You're hearing it for the first time like everyone else.

You've got to believe that. You've got to be like, I did not. I don't know. Even to this friend, just be like, I don't remember you telling me that. How could I have told him? You didn't tell me that. Like, remove, remove yourself from the rumor. Backpedal as much as you can. Don't worry about him seeking revenge by telling his friend that you fancy him. His friend is probably flattered and, like, fancying rumors, those are okay. Those are, like, innocent rumors to get around the school. And you feel betrayed, but, like...

Sexual rumors are kind of more serious. So you just want to distance yourself. I know it wasn't you and soon everyone else will figure out it wasn't you. But for the time being, you got to fall back player. You got to lay low. And if you hear people talking about this sexual rumor, you need to remind them that these rumors can be very dangerous.

And that if anyone is found to be spreading libel about someone else or slandering someone else with something this serious, then they could be in big trouble. Just take that page and don't trust your friend anymore, this guy. And it's not your job to convince him that you didn't tell. Because you know who can't keep a secret? Him. He told you in the first place. If he confronts you, be like, I definitely didn't tell that secret to anyone. Why did you tell?

If he told you, he's told other people, so you can't trust him. On the subject, actors are liars. Catherine, thank you very much for ripping into Barry. Kewin, Kogan.

It was great. Music to my ears. More putting wrong things right, please. And every time you say something I like, I mean, he's an actor, so not trustworthy, I beam. Thanks for that alone. I married an actor, and it turns out we were living different lives. His included in excess of 15 affairs over 30 years, including my close friend and the children's school teacher from kindergarten. All liars. Indeed, they are.

Well, I was listening to a podcast in the car today and the women on this podcast are women that I admire very much. And they were defending Barry Kogan. They were like, oh, bless him. You know, the press have really, have really rolled him through it. And I believe him and I think he's a good guy. And like, maybe. Maybe.

Maybe, but my spidey sense says no. And here is someone who agrees with that opinion, that opposite opinion. Catherine, I love you, but please do your research. Do your research. What are you talking about? Do your research. Nobody can do their research as to whether or not Barry Cogan is a cheater or not.

like i have by the way i've done my own like personal investigations into this and i told you that i have solid proof that i've seen firsthand with my own eyes that he can be very flirtatious in the dms okay i've seen enough i know enough but what are you gonna say probably something nice about him and like look nobody wants this guy falling into a deep depression nobody wants this guy hurting himself

But like, where do you draw the line in between just calling someone an alleged bastard for maybe cheating and not saying anything at all in case they didn't cheat?

Catherine, I work in the school Barry Cohen went to. He grew up extremely disadvantaged and he was in and out of foster care until both his parents died from drug overdoses. He stands for children from that area being given opportunities. He did not leave the mother of his child when she was pregnant. He cares for his son but keeps him offline and off media as much as possible so isn't seen.

he did an interview with louis theroux recently about all this kind of press which usually comes out of shitty stereotypes on irish men from his community okay here's a question that i have for all of you listeners i am very sorry for whatever trauma and like hardships that men come from and all of us have faced obstacles some bigger obstacles than others and they suck but in my life i have noticed a pattern

That when men have terrible, like really heartbreaking obstacles, and don't get me wrong, when I hear that about him, the old me, 25-year-old Katherine Ryan, would have loved to be like, I'll mother you, Barry. I'll scoop you up and give you the childhood that you never had, and I'll look after you, and I can fix you, and I can love you enough to make it all better. But I stopped being a fixer because it led me down a dangerous path of constantly shacking up

with men who would transform their pain into like some type of resentment against women. And they would use their pain to hurt other people. And I don't see women doing that as much.

I know women who come from obstacles. I know women who come from pain. I know women who have faced really tough situations and been in and out of foster care, or they have been abandoned in some way, or they have been abused, or they have had some type of trauma. And they use that pain. And unfortunately, if they aren't healed from it, they hurt themselves more with that pain. They develop

eating disorders or God forbid, they hurt themselves or they deprive themselves in other ways, or they look out into the world and they let more people treat them badly because they go, I'm not deserving of this love because these bad things happen to me. That's what I notice. And I don't see the men doing that as much. I don't see it. I see men for some reason being hurt and then hurting other people more. Every man who's like, and I'm not equating the two, but every man who's like,

been an abuser or like walked into a post office with a gun or like done this or done that. They're like, oh, well, you know, we had this bad thing happen. Right.

I don't think that Barry Keoghan is like terrible because he's Irish or is a cheater because he comes from Dublin or like deserves a heap of terrible like press or should never act again. I think he's a wonderful actor. No one's disputing that. And I'm sorry that he had a difficult childhood. But I also believe that

A lot of men who are actors, especially young and hot and like hot for the first time and have a lot of buzz and have a lot of access to women are statistically, I'm sorry, and in personal experience, very likely to be philandering pricks. Should they be completely canceled for that? No, but watch out if you're a hot little blonde and you find him crying in your DMs, allegedly.

Thank you very much for listening to another episode of Telling Everybody Everything. I will not stop during Christmas. In fact, I have more time than ever. So you can expect to see me right here and you can write me an email anytime you like. Sometimes we agree, sometimes we disagree to each his or her own. And I love it when you help each other. So please help this woman whose mom wants to shag the vicar because I think we got to all roll up there doing Christmas carols on the 24th.

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