Stalker Being Released in August
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Hello, hiya. Welcome to another episode of Telling Everybody Everything. It is the 25th of June. I cannot breathe. I am awaiting a pregnancy massage at the house from a woman who was first recommended to me by the multi-talented, absolutely ageless Laura Whitmore.

her pregnancy long long ago with a beautiful little girl that's the way to do it by the way just one girl and I've been trying to get other massages around the towns and everything and it's been going badly I booked a foot massage at this Thai place in my neighborhood that I usually love I like to go to a place if you can avoid having someone mobile come to the house and

I think you should. Like, they're comfortable there. They've got all their stuff. You're not upsetting any family members or children. Plus, if it happens to be a day that you've got a babysitter or a cleaner around, you can't have a massage in front of them. That is just taking the piss. I do have working class guilt about having a babysitter anyway, about having a wonderful cleaner twice a week anyway.

Even though I'm contributing to the economy and like, what am I going to do? Leave my baby's home alone. I'm going to work, but I digress. But this pregnancy massage lady is amazing because the Thai place turned me down for a foot massage. And I should have known that was going to be the case when they can see that you're visibly pregnant. Now, in the beginning of your pregnancy, lie, lie, lie all you want. There are, of course, restrictions in place to keep you safe, to keep your baby safe, but

But like ultimately you make decisions about what is right for you. You can get a massage and lay on your stomach when you're like eight weeks pregnant. Come on, it's fine. But when you're showing they're like, oh no, we can't massage your feet because we might do some type of magic reflexology because that's how well it works. By the way, no, it doesn't. Even women who are like 42 weeks pregnant getting reflexology to try to go into labor, um,

are usually having to be induced. This lady's like, no, if I do your reflexology now, you could go into labor. It's just not safe. And that is fair. I appreciate that she's got to feel safe about her job. And there are people who are specifically trained in pregnancy massage to avoid accidentally pressing on some magic button in your foot that makes you have a baby. So cool. But

My legs have just been so heavy and my feet have been so sore because I just keep being on them. My doctor was like, just try not to stand up for too long. I'm like, well, those words are in my job title, so we'll see. But anyway, I've reached out to this wonderful pregnancy massage lady to the stars and she did, I would call her more of a like, she's a bit of a doula. I don't know what her exact title is. Genius. She does it all. I had her with Fred. I had her with Venna.

She's coming again today and I absolutely can't wait because today's my first day off in June. And as soon as I dropped the children to their morning nursery, I fell asleep instead of cleaning the kitchen and I need to go get them at 1.30. But of course, briefly, I needed to come on here and tell you everything, everybody, about how my week has been going. I pissed off some sex workers. What else is new? Sex workers, open your eyes. I

I'm an ally to you women. I respect your choice to do whatever you want to do. I try to destigmatize you wherever possible. I have been guilty of slut shaming you in the past. Yes, I'm from a toxic generation. We're all still figuring out, you know, the best wave of feminism for us. And to be dead honest, I was hurt.

by partners in the past who cheated on me with, don't get excited, not only sex workers, but loads of women and possibly men. Who knows? I mean, I wouldn't put it past him, but including sex workers. And one sex worker in particular lied to me when I rang her number and asked her what had been going on. Like, you need to ask that question.

But I needed like confirmation when I was young. I didn't have the power to just walk away from situations and draw my own conclusions. I rang a sex worker. This is something I spoke about in an old stand-up episode. And she lied to me. And I was like, well, why would you do that? Like hoes before bros, surely. No offense. So...

Yeah, I did have some sex worker trauma, but I feel that I've moved past that. And I think sex work is legitimate employment. There are people with disabilities, especially who access sex workers. And it's just a really important service for a lot of people in the same way that my pregnancy massage today is a really important, quite intimate service for me. Will she be jerking me off? No, hopefully not.

But there was a show. Oh, gosh. I can't even tell you where it was. I've been on tour. It's been 104 shows of 107 now. We are finished this weekend. If you haven't been able to see me, I don't think you'll get it. I think it's all sold out, but I am in Woking.

On Thursday, I am in Cambridge. On Friday, and I am in Cork. Of all places, beautiful Cork City. Saturday night, and then the Battle Axe tour is done. And you will have to wait to see the special if you are interested. And thank you for being interested. But at one of the shows, there was a very impressive, spicy, quick-on-her-feet performance.

It's beautiful because when I get the text messages in the dilemma section, I can see your WhatsApp profile photo. This woman was like traditionally beautiful, like the lead singer of a girl band. Stunning. Young, young, young, already had kids with her husband and she found that he was cheating with sex workers while she was home with two small children.

And she reacted beautifully. She held him to account. She reached out to the sex worker and the sex worker was like, oh, no, no, I don't talk about my clients. And then she offered the sex worker a grand. And lo and behold, the sex worker's morals changed and she would talk about her client. Love it. No judgment against the sex worker here either. Like you've got a business to run. You're losing a client. So you might as well gain a client in the wife.

And if you want to know more about that incident, the video is on my socials on Instagram at Kath Bomb. But the woman acted beautifully. The young woman whose husband was cheating, she got rid of him. She took his money out of his account to pay the sex worker to get the information to confirm he was cheating. She had all the texts. Like I was not as quick on my feet or as headstrong or I did not have that level of self-respect and respect.

protection over access to myself in my 20s like this woman had in the show. So I upload the clip. And I did explain during the stand-up routine. I mean, it's not stand-up. It's the dilemma section. It's improv, whatever you want to call it. I said, you know what I'm learning, especially as an impressive breadwinner wife in society, is that you are a target. I listen to the

just an advocate of feminist women doing whatever they want, but never being exploited by men. And she has loads and loads of content you can listen to on that subject. She's just incredible. She will be a lot for people who have been conditioned to think that they should be submissive, but she's an important swing of the pendulum that will hopefully land you in the middle at the very least.

So I said, yeah, when you are a woman like you are, this young woman in the crowd, I said, you're really impressive and you're headstrong and you have these kids and you're beautiful. And you married this man very young. And she said, he's ugly as well. I said, yes, a man like that will be intimidated by you. He will use your money to impress and entice lower status women. That's what I said. And yes.

She, by the way, called the sex worker a prostitute. I didn't shame her in that moment or correct her in that moment because she was freshly wounded. And again, not all of us are au fait with the most empowering language now. But when I said it back, I did not say the word prostitute. I'm 42. Next week, I know we call them sex workers. So I was very respectful, I feel, of women in the sex work community, but I didn't say

But I said, your man will take your money and use it to impresidentize lower status women. And now the sex workers are like, uh, excuse me, Catherine, who are you calling low status? And I'm sorry, you calling you low status. Are we getting to a point of like progressive woke ism that we are not calling things what they are?

I don't mean to say I think you are less than. I don't mean to say that you don't have worth and you're a bad person. I know a ton of sex workers. Well, I don't know a ton. I know a few. And they're well-educated and they're funny and they're fun and they're intelligent. And this is just the industry that they choose to work in. But you and I as intelligent women cannot ignore our

that being a sex worker is in our society, our understanding of social norms, it is low status. It is low status. No one is like really excited to be like, good news, grandma, I'm getting married to a sex worker. No one's asking you to sign off on their passport. Like what professional job qualifies you to do this? Sex worker. You're not getting married

access to like the Buckingham Palace. Well, you probably are. You probably are that one. Yeah. But do you know what I'm saying? I feel like I am now being treated like Catherine Ryan thinks that we are garbage. Absolutely not. But let's not pretend that when a husband with small children reaches out to a sex worker and

He's not doing it because he feels that he can be transactional and that he can perhaps do things with her that he can't to his wife. A lot of men get this Madonna complex, especially when their wife becomes a mother or they don't want to make their wife angry or they're accountable to their wife and their wife is pissed off with them that week for being a loser.

They have no accountability to a sex worker. They do think that it's seedy and dirty. A lot of them take cocaine with sex workers. Drugs and sex work is intrinsically linked. See who's low status. And there are men who reach out to sex workers, certainly not because they're high status.

It's not like, oh, I'm stepping out of my wife to have like a meaningful conversation with a Harvard lawyer today about like how I can make better moves at work and increase my investment capital. No, like the reason that a married man would reach out to a sex worker is money.

She's low status. She has to be nice to him with certain boundaries. She accepts money to perform a service in that arrangement. Sex workers, I'm sorry. You know the stigma still attached to your work. You know that if you have a professional job and they find out that you've got an OnlyFans contract,

or you're doing sex work, certainly, you might lose that job. It doesn't increase your status in society that we understand now, in our cultural, social norms of things. You are not like the president's daughter has been given a royal box at Wimbledon because, you know, that's what I meant.

And I'm so sorry that I offended you. And I do see where the confusion comes from. You see that maybe I'm contributing to the stigma against you by calling you low status. But like, I'm so I draw the line. Let's call things what they are. On the subject of low status, ladies, what were you doing attending the Chris Brown concerts over the weekend? Tell me that. What the fuck? Like moms from the nursery.

women that I know, children who are friends with my daughter, attended the Chris Brown concert over the weekend. I saw someone post on TikTok, huh? Like these are the same people who holiday in Dubai. All right, like you have chosen to turn a blind eye to not even historical abuse. There are loads of people still who are like, oh, well, Rihanna hit him first, which is a completely bullshit argument.

But this man continues to be like violent and dangerous. And you know what he's about. And still there are women who are my age who should know better who are like, yeah, but the hits. Yeah, but these hoes ain't loyal. I just think do what you want with your money. He will be using it to settle another domestic assault case out of prison.

Do what you want with your money. And I agree. Chris Brown is an incredible performer. He's such a great performer, has been since he was a little boy. He did one of his first videos with the director X, who was then little X in Toronto. And even then, I remember like the Toronto dance community, which I was, I mean, very peripherally a loose part of.

because I danced on this Friday night show. But everybody talked about, everyone was like, wow, this kid, like he is very talented. But I mean, where do you draw the line? Like you can listen to the music. I don't think that even R. Kelly's music should be all wiped off the radio.

Think what you want about Michael Jackson. I don't think we can afford to lose that music. If you look at like any man from the past, Elvis, like they all were problematic in some way, shape or form. A lot of alcoholics, a lot of drug addicts, a lot of abusers and a lot worse with children. So, okay, let's have problematic music and that goes beyond music. Let's have problematic art music.

I'm sure Picasso wasn't always on his best behavior. Let's have problematic books. Let's have problematic men, especially once they get into positions of power, have bad behavior. Should we delete all of their art? No, I don't think so. But do you need to be going to his concert? Do you need to be in a room with him? I also saw people uploading videos on TikTok of people fighting at the Chris Brown concert, like women getting into scraps and just bad behavior overall. And I thought, oh, wow.

Oh no, were you surprised to see violence at the Chris Brown concert? I think if you go, you are condoning violence. Sorry. I think if you go and you post it all over socials and you're like, "Woo, these hoes ain't loyal." I mean, I just think it's embarrassing. I felt slightly embarrassed for some of these women. Like, okay girls, all right. You're not gonna see me at a Chris Brown concert, but I guess I do problematic other things.

Sometimes I'll come home with a dirty chai from Starbucks and that'll show up in one of my videos and people are like, ah, Catherine, do you realize that you're funding the war? And I go, yeah, do you realize you messaged me on Mark Zuckerberg's platform to tell me that? And that like there are maybe three companies left in the world and we're all contributing to funding war unless we go off grid. But it just gave me, it gave me a major ick this weekend. Yuck.

And we're back live during a flex alert. Oh, we're pre-cooling before 4 p.m., folks. And that's the end of the third. Time to set it back to 78 from 4 to 9 p.m. What a performance by Team California. The power is ours.

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Another one of my shows got very serious when a young woman wrote her dilemma that she had been stalked at work.

by her boss when she first started age 21, stalked for months, stalked, I think, for over a year to the point that this boss was jailed. He was about 50 years old, stalking her, obsessed with her, would not take no for an answer, was arrested and jailed. And her dilemma is that he was about to be released in August and released into her neighborhood. This shocked me.

Because I thought, surely, if it's been serious enough that there has been a conviction, an arrest, and like prison time, they're not just going to release him right back into your community. Because especially if he's truly sick. Do you remember when the man who was stalking Kendall Jenner kept showing up at her house like in the middle of the night? And he went to court and you saw courtroom sketches of him just with his head in his hands. Like he looked like

This man did not want to be obsessed with Kendall Jenner, but he was very mentally ill. And even Kendall spoke about it on the show. And she said, yeah, like this guy's not happy. He would think it's the best day of his life. He's in court next to Kendall Jenner, which is his goal is to be near her. But he's like tortured by this feeling.

So without access to proper mental health care, like these people are not rehabilitated after 10 months in prison or however long he went to prison. I think it was like 20 weeks. So he's going to, like as not a professional, I feel like he's going to show right back up at her door. He's going to continue stalking her because he hasn't been healed yet.

It's not like he behaved naughty and was reprimanded in prison. And now he's like, oh, I'm not going to stalk this woman anymore. I'm very worried that he's going to hurt her or worse. And at the very least, he's going to scare her. She'll be terrified living in her same house. Not everyone can just up and move.

She's going to live in her same house, worry from the day he's released from prison that he's going to show up or stalk her online or start to harass her. Every day of her life, she's going to worry about that. So after the show, I got more information about this case. A load of people in the audience knew what was happening. And apparently this young woman has a victim impact liaison officer or whatever it's called. But that guy is a man.

She has voiced her concerns to him like, excuse me, like this guy's going to just come straight to my house as soon as he gets out of jail. And I don't think enough is being done. According to her, according to the people in the community who like participated in this dilemma section. Yeah, there's no restraining order. And even if there like even if there was like, don't go within 50 feet. Do you know my friend was murdered?

during a restraining order and guess what he violated it because he wanted to kill her and then how good is the restraining order then oh no she's actually not dead because we have this piece of paper that says he's not allowed within 50 feet of her house okay this is the bbc news article it's one of many x head jailed for breaching restraining order

A former head teacher jailed for harassing a member of his staff has been sent to prison again for breaching the restraining order imposed upon him. I'm not going to say the man's name, but you can find it online if you like. He was 49 years old. He was jailed for harassing a 23-year-old at the time woman and received a stalking protection order banning him from posting photographs of her on social media.

He admitted breaching the order and was jailed for six months. The district judge said his breaches of the order were, quote, deliberate and that his victim was, quote, petrified of him. The court heard from the former head of the school who breached the order four days after his release from prison that time. And he's about to be released again.

He had been jailed for 20 weeks after he was found to have made unwanted advances toward the trainee teacher over an 11-month period. Can you imagine right now if that's your daughter? If that's my daughter, I'm going to jail. You heard it here first. If you have had enough of my voice, of my stand-up comedy, if you are a man who doesn't really like seeing me places, please come try to stalk one of my children. And I promise you, you won't have to see me anymore.

i'll be in jail but you'll be in a worse place the trial heard how he pressured controlled and isolated the woman from other members of staff a four-year stalking protection order prohibiting him from contacting the woman or posting pictures of her on social media was also imposed at court he admitted to posting pictures of his victim online the prosecutor said he had told police he was quote not aware of the order and it was a quote happy coincidence that the victim was in these photos

In a statement read to the court, the victim said she had become very scared again. She said she was constantly looking over her shoulder and worried he would find out where she lived and that it had a negative impact on every area of her life. The judge said that the guy who got arrested was fully aware of the order and it was appalling that his victim had, quote, suffered in this way.

Following sentencing, the police said restraining orders are put in place to protect victims and prevent further offending. Well, guess what, police? They don't work. Breaching these conditions can carry severe consequences, and I hope today's sentence offers some reassurance that we will take robust action when the terms of these orders are not being adhered to. A BBC investigation found further allegations of inappropriate behavior have been made by five other women who worked with this guy at the school.

So like he's a serial offender. Oh, good for you. You have a restraining order in place. He has ignored it before. He's getting out of prison in August. You're releasing him right back into her community. He's going to ignore it again because guess what? Because he's not well. So what are you going to do? What are you going to do?

And since the show, and since I posted the, oh no, I didn't post a clip online, but I will. But since the show, I have had people from the community reaching out to me to put me in touch with this young woman who's the victim and offer her CCTV from their company, offer her, and these are women, women, female business owners offering me like a lifeline for this young woman and to link up and to help her out. But this is what women have done for generations. It's just like,

So what are you doing about this, Norfolk? Sky News is a little bit more salacious than the BBC. So they've got an article that said he pretended to pass out

as he resisted arrest for harassing younger female colleague. He claimed to have fallen in love with a newly qualified teacher who had joined his school. Let me put it, okay, so she's 21 at the time, he's 48. That alone, I've fallen in love. So like all of you guys who are 48, 37, whatever you are, adult age, falling in love with 21-year-old newly qualified women,

you are a hop, skip and a jump away from this guy, just so you know. When he was arrested, he clung to a hedge, bit his lip and pretended to pass out. Now there is a video of this. He was messaging her. He tried to pressure her to join him on a school trip.

He had always been hounding her with messages and emails late at night. On one occasion, he messaged her, "Can't wait to see this smile, this beautiful face and wonderful person tomorrow." Another time he messaged, "I'd love to build a future for us in school and outside of school, xx." The victim told him she did not want a personal relationship with him, but he continued to harass her when she until for two more, what?

for two a year and a half basically until she reported his behavior to police oh my god so they arrested him good for them like okay they're not doing everything to keep this woman safe and he's absolutely headed straight to her house as soon as he's released from prison in august we all know that but at least they fully arrested him they're like okay this is enough this is getting dangerous his behavior gave the victim nightmares

In her victim impact statement, she said, I was never able to relax or have any personal time as there was a clear expectation from him that I replied to his every communication and

When I failed to do this, he took this personally, and then I received a barrage of negativity from him. As time progressed, my school behaviors changed. I found that I did not want to be alone in case this led to Mr. Hill taking the opportunity to come into class to discuss these things with me. Due to his harassment, she came to school

struggle with sleeping she would have nightmares she lived in fear of seeing him even when she was outside of school she said these last few years have completely changed me as a person i don't ever know if i will return to the person i once was one witness told police that the teacher the headmaster had photographed the victim's car when she was visiting a family member he used facebook to try to find information about his victim police while we all do that when we're dating

When the victim tried to end the harassment, she requested a meeting with the school officials over quote continued unwanted behavior. But the headmaster confronted her and claimed she was responsible for putting his job at risk and possibly making his elderly mother homeless. He tried to avoid arrest when the police came by grabbing hold of a hedgerow and refusing to let go. Claiming officers were trying to break his wrist and arms. He also bit his lip, pretended to pass out.

Norfolk police said that he denied harassment and resisting arrest but was found guilty of both. And that's after that he was sentenced. His behavior and treatment of a younger colleague who was just starting out in her career shows he thought he could behave exactly how he wanted to get away with it time and time again. So like on one hand I think they have taken this really seriously but they need to continue to take it seriously because I don't see this being over. When he is released and this young woman is reaching out to a fucking comedian for advice at this point.

That's not how, you know, that's not what we pay taxes for. I'm happy to try to help, but society, the criminal justice system, police, thank you for your service, you know, but you owe the young women of your constituency better. This woman's life has literally been altered forever. Life-changing. So what else can be done? Write me an email telling everybody everything at gmail.com. Speaking of life-saving,

i saw on tick tock a girl posting a sunburn and i say girl she's old enough to know better she's about 30 i think 27. and she's like oh my god i fell asleep in the sun for two hours look at my sunburn and her face when i tell you it was red like a tomato like i don't know how she was stood there making the video because that thing is blistering tomorrow it would be so itchy like being stung by a thousand bees it would be so painful

And I loved the comments. The comments were like, I've had melanoma. I've had skin cancer. You need to understand this is a life changing sunburn. I'd never heard it put like that before. And guys, we had a heat wave last weekend. We have more heat waves to come. Do not put yourself in a position to receive a life changing sunburn. It never goes away. It's not, oh, I had the sunburn and now it's healed. I peeled for a bit. It's better. It's better.

This woman had a life-changing sunburn. Now she needs to be closely monitored for the rest of her life. And if you've ever had a sunburn like that, so do you. SPF, honeys.

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Please play responsibly. Must be 18 years or older to purchase, play, or claim. People are messaging me about Ricky Lake. Don't bother. There are many talented surgeons performing facelifts, blephs, lower facelifts, and all the rest. And once in a while, you will see someone who looks great, and you go, oh my gosh, you should go to her guy. She looks great, but she looks great.

Does she look like a 70-year-old woman reborn as 29? No, that's only Kris Jenner.

But she does look good. It's true what they say. When God closes a door, she opens a window. Or at least when God prices one celebrity facelift specialist out, she anoints a new one. American chat show queen Rikki Lake recently appeared on Housewife Hub. Watch what happens live. Looking like she drank the eternal life potion from death becomes her because Miss Thang was looking snatched in the best possible way. Go, Rikki. Go, Rikki.

Host Andy Cohen. Oh, by the way, a lot of you will have seen the announcement that I get to be UK Andy Cohen. I am hosting the reunion of Real Housewives of London and I'm so excited. I could not be more salivating for the series to begin. Everybody's like, what? I didn't even see the series. Where can I watch it? It hasn't come out yet. But when it does, it will be exclusively streaming on HeyYou and I am g-g-g-gagged.

So after host Andy Cohen complimented her impossibly taut but remarkably natural looking lower third, the famously candid Rikki Lake blurted out that after losing 40 pounds, she had some loose skin under her chin that she was sick of dealing with and she had a lower face and neck lift.

Said Lake, I think it's the best facelift I've ever seen, which we can only assume was a pointed jab at Kris Jenner's lift at the hands of Dr. Stephen Levine. She immediately followed by shouting out her genius doctor, Dr. Alan Fulad is the best and I've sent many people to him. So just like that, Ricky has me believing in life after Levine. But guys, I've not given up yet.

I want to go to Levine because Ricky just had a lower facelift and officially, yes, she looks great, but I don't believe in the lower facelift. I think gravity works everywhere. You notice it first in your neck, but if you stop, like if you start pulling up one thing and not the other, I think it will eventually just not look like you anymore. So I think even though you notice it in the neck, you got to pull it from the top and do the bleph and do the lip lift.

Did you guys see Sabrina Carpenter, who I love? Someone online, a man, was like, I don't fancy her. And everyone was like, why? And he goes, because she reminds me of JonBenet Ramsey. And if you don't know who JonBenet Ramsey is, then congratulations. Do not look for the Netflix documentary on the subject. Just be glad that you skipped that terrible story. But for those of us born in North America in 1983, it was a huge deal. And yeah, Sabrina Carpenter was

You know, if the JonBenet thing had been a Maddie McCann disappearance, there would be now conspiracy theories that Sabrina Carpenter is JonBenet Ramsey, like all along. The pop star unveiled artwork. This is not JonBenet Ramsey. This is Sabrina Carpenter for her forthcoming album, Man's Best Friend, last Wednesday. And she was quickly disbanded.

quickly inundated with criticism. On what appears to be the cover, Sabrina Carpenter is seen on her knees wearing a little black dress and heels. She's looking at the camera doe-eyed while a man who's standing in front of her grabs her hair. Get it? Woof. The online discussion surrounding the album's art is brimming with divisive opinions. Some are calling it contradictory to Carpenter's man-hater-in-the-body-of-a-q-pie-doll brand.

with this album cover drawing ire from the same people who were upset that the singer was pantomiming getting Eiffel Towered during a concert in Paris. Others are defending it as being intentionally controversial. A headline from The Guardian asks, Sex-positive feminism or soft porn for the male gaze? I'm having a hard time seeing Carpenter's cover art as either satire or sex-positive feminism, The Guardian said.

Fans were not shy about lodging their complaints in the singer's Instagram comments. "LOL this cover art is so disgusting. As a fan, I don't like it." "How is this not just appealing to the male gaze? Insanely misogynistic imagery," shared another. In a brilliant bit of timing, Carpenter's Rolling Stone came out right as the discourse surrounding her album cover was peaking. In the profile, she addressed the comments she gets about infusing sexuality into her pop star persona.

"'It's always so funny to me when people complain,' she told the magazine. "'They're like, all she does is sing about this. But those are the songs that you have made popular. Clearly, you love sex. You're obsessed with it. It's in my show. I find irony and humor in all of that because it seems to be a recurring theme,' Carpenter added. "'I'm not upset about it, other than I feel mad pressure to be funny sometimes,' said the fine folks at New York Magazine's The Cut."

Could it be that she's referring to the idea of men treating her like a dog, man's best friend? It might not even be that deep. Maybe she's just 26 years old and wanted to take a provocative photo. God forbid. One thing's for sure. No one is allowed to tell these people what Madonna was up to in the 90s. If a slightly submissive photo is sending them reeling, who knows what would happen if they laid eyes on the sex book. I don't know how to feel about this photo. Um...

I grew up during the most toxic generation of girl bands. Like at least Madonna wasn't original. And yes, like women were horrifically abused and objectified before Madonna's time, during Madonna's time. But I feel like the pop stars that came out

were like, you know, Blondie was odd. Cher was odd. I mean that in the nicest way, like Madonna was odd. Like they owned sex in a new way that people hadn't seen at that time. And then my generation had the Britney's and the Christina's and Jessica Simpson talking about being a virgin and the whole world fetishizing that and pitting all these women against each other. And it was all this like, I was born to make you happy, like very infantile,

that was like, ooh, I'm sexy by accident, taking all agency away from them. And I'm used to like pop star women looking like nine-year-old girls. Ariana Grande, like I'm used to it now. So Sabrina Carpenter on her knees having her hair grabbed by a man. Do I see this image and love it? No, but I don't care. I don't know why. Usually I'm very opinionated about all sorts of things, but this I'm like, meh.

Whatever. Whatever, queen. Get off your knees if you want, but stay there if you're comfortable. All right. You will have seen all this tattle stuff. I was invited by BBC News, as I'm sure many, many, many, many mini celebs like me were invited to.

If you've been mentioned on Tattle or maybe even if you haven't to weigh in on the takedown of this online gossip forum featuring endless threads tearing influencers apart and causing some severe trauma. Well, Tattle has had its day in court with the founder behind the heinous website finally exposed.

For over seven years, nobody knew who set up this website, but after a global investigation launched by an Irish couple, Neil and Donna Sands, it's been revealed that a plant-based recipe influencer and author, Sebastian Bond, better known online as Bastian Durward of Nest and Glow, has been behind the entire thing the whole time. Founded in 2018, Tatl Life billed itself as a place for, quote, commentary and critiques,

of people that choose to monetize their personal life as a business and release it into the public domain. However, the threads on the website are far from limited to influencers and they mock and degrade and dox family members of content creators, those not making money from social media, and even innocent children.

Tattle Life claims to have a, quote, zero tolerance policy toward any content that is abusive, hateful, harmful, and a team of moderators online 24-7 to remove any content that breaks their strict rules, often in minutes. However, the complainant in the case that proved their downfall, Neil Sands, first flagged defamatory and harassing content about himself in February 2021, and those posts were allowed to remain on the website until May 2025.

The website is thought to attract millions of views each month. And in 2021, The Guardian reported that Tattle Life made over £276,000 in advertising revenue during a six-month time frame. I think it's very interesting that a man ran the site used by women to attack each other. A lot of people assumed he was a woman. Why? Because he used a female pseudonym.

So when women are trying to be taken seriously in business or literature, for example, like J.K. Rowling, Rowling, I still don't know how to say it. I've lived here 18 years and, you know, she didn't want to use her name Joanne because she said in some interview that she thought she'd be taken more seriously as an author if she was genderless. Like how ironic now, but J.K., fine.

This guy is starting like a bitchy gossip site as a woman. And all these women flock in, hens clucking, and they demonstrate themselves to be the worst kind of women. Be like, bang, bang, bang, bang. They were showing floor plans of people's homes. They were showing addresses, what schools people's children went to. And like, as far as the gossip and being mean, I never had a problem with being on there.

I did an episode of the podcast years ago where I was searching something else. Oh, this is what I was searching. So there is one celebrity that allegedly had beef with me a while back and wouldn't have me on their show. And I was like, why? What did I ever say about them? So I Googled their name and my name to see if I'd ever like joked about them. And I hadn't. But that's how Tattle came up. Something totally unrelated. And then I read the threads about me and I didn't mind. I thought it was pretty funny.

So that's why I declined the invitation to go on BBC News. It really doesn't bother me. And I do think that there are loads of celebrities and influencers on there who are probably mentioned who need to have a thicker skin. Like that sounds mean to say, but most of the people who I saw like crying and complaining about Tattle, you do monetize your personal life and you do put yourself in the public domain and you

You owe it not to anyone else, but just to yourself to be a bit brave about that. However, when it comes to

Sending social services to your house, publishing the school your children go to, floor plans, like all of that is doxing. All of that is harassment and it is criminal. And I'm glad that the creator of the website has been unveiled and that all of this will be taken down hopefully soon. But you know what I'm extra excited for? Just to be clear, there's no excuse for doxing. I'm extra excited for some of the other users of the site to be identified because

Already, I think it's happened a couple times over the years. Mark my words. There will be influencers and celebrities with anonymous burner accounts who are slagging off their friends and coworkers. They'll be like, I'm Helen 69, really can't stand Vogue Williams. And it'll be like Joanne McNally's account. Not actually Joanne McNally, but like it will be some...

Fake ass influencer. It will or like there'll be an influencer. I bet who's on there trolling herself Being like don't you guys hate so-and-so like just to drum up publicity like there'll be weird shit that comes out and I can't wait for that But I mean ultimately how hard is it to be nice? Just be nice. Okay. Let's see what we have in the dilemmas today Oh Tis the wedding season

Catherine, I'm a long-time listener here looking for advice from you or from other listeners. I've recently got engaged to my long-term partner and I'm so happy. The only issue now is having to plan a wedding. I have never, ever wanted to have a traditional wedding. I'm pretty sure I'm on the spectrum and the thoughts of being the center of attention and having to interact and entertain a load of people, even if they are family and friends, just makes me feel panicked and I don't want to do it.

I would much rather elope, but I already feel as if the expectations from both sides of our families are extremely high and I'm not sure how to break it to them that there won't be a traditional wedding. Honestly, I don't want any of my family at my wedding full stop, but that's a whole different issue. No, baby, I think it's the same issue.

I would love to know how you and Bobby managed both your families when you decided to get married in Denmark. Was there any pushback or did they give a shit? Any advice or words of wisdom around this dilemma would be greatly appreciated. Oh my God. Imagine if my family had tried to guilt trip or shame us or push back at all and

in what two 35-year-old adults wanted to do with their time and money and legal documents and vows. No, nobody gave a shit. Bobby's here. Did your family care that we eloped? No. See, I haven't even asked. That's how little of a shit I give because it's no one's business but yours. Bobby had a wedding and I never had a wedding, but I'm like you. I get enough attention.

I broadly, listen, I like it sometimes when I'm invited to weddings. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I have parties for my children that I suppose do cost a lot of money. So if you want to throw a big party like that for yourself and your loved ones, like fine. But I do think all things considered when you're embarking upon a life together in a legally binding contract,

your money is best spent elsewhere, like on a mortgage or on private medical care if you choose to have kids or like on a holiday together or on stuff for the house. I'm not a wedding gal and you are British, I'm assuming that, but you need to get into the vibe of like, oh my gosh, I don't have to second guess what everybody is going to feel and how everyone's going to react to

When I make decisions for myself, you're adult enough to get married. I don't even think it's worth a conversation. I think you do it as long as this guy's not like or girl, a massive red flag and your family hates him and they would like one last opportunity to talk you out of it. If everybody, you know, if this is a good person and you're sure and you've been in a long term relationship for a while, just do what you want. I can see how they'd be hurt if he was like, you know, an asshole.

But in terms of the actual ceremony, it's not their business. And if anybody raises an eyebrow, you could even tell them ahead of time if you want so that they don't feel like you went behind their backs. You could go, oh, my partner and I are going to get married, but we don't want to have a wedding. We don't want to make a fuss. I don't like to be the center of attention. Surely you've known me all my life. You love me. You probably already know that about me as a considerate person in my life.

So we're just going to have a day to ourselves and sign the registry. And we didn't want to do it without telling you. So we are telling you, but just so you know, that's why we're not having a wedding. We don't want one. You'd be surprised how many people would be thrilled with that. Thrilled. They'd be like, Oh God,

I have been to so many weddings and I don't have to buy a gift or get a dress or book a babysitter or go to another one. Congratulations. And if you do it that way, they might even give you some money or a present.

Thank you for listening to another episode of Telling Everybody Everything. If you ever want to write me an email, you can send your dilemmas or your questions or your comments to tellingeverybodyeverything at gmail.com. I was very blessed to be invited to a screening of Netflix's new Too Much. It's Lena Dunham's rom-com. It's like an anti-rom-com. You will laugh, you will cry. This is not an ad. I love Lena Dunham. And if you're my age...

that I'm sure Girls was transformative for you when it came out on HBO when we were 20-year-old ladies navigating big city life and being out on our own and love and money and too much is just fantastic. I like that Lena is still doing that for younger generations and it's still relevant to us. Tom Hanks was fucking there.

I came out of a really terrible toilet and he was standing there and I said, "Huh?" And he said, "Hi, I'm Tom." And I said, "I know who you are, Tom Hanks." And he said, "Are the toilets really that bad?" I said, "How'd you know?" He goes, "Well, there's a sign here that says, 'Scan this QR code if you want to learn more about the planned works and the toilets and apologies for their appearance.'" And I was like, "Yes, Tom. Yes, Tom Hanks. The toilets are that bad." There was one working sink.

They were gender neutral, non-binary, though I know a boy had been in there. Someone peed all over the seat. So anyway, Too Much is just so funny. I saw episode one and two and it is available on Netflix, I believe July 8th, maybe July 10th.

Meg Stalter is in it. She's an incredible comedian. You should follow her on socials now if you don't. And a lovely British boy called Will Sharp. And of course, Nina Dunham, Rita Wilson, Jessica Alba. There are loads of guest stars. You're going to love it. Thank you for listening. Please look after each other. I'll see you next week.

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