Yes He Would
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Hello and welcome to another episode of Telling Everybody Everything. As ever, I've been on tour, but I've also been prioritizing my self-care.

Because I've been giving a lot of advice out on tour. If you come to see my shows, and I've got three coming up this weekend at the Palladium, three more at the Palladium in London in April, three more at the Palladium in London in May, and then I don't know where the other shows are. All up and down the country if you feel like checking. I'm also doing a few dates in Canada. How it works, and people still ask me this, even though I've put it on my socials 5,000 times, but it just goes to show that not everybody sees your socials all the time.

So you might as well repeat yourself. I'm starting the show at 8 p.m. There's no support. It's just me at 8 p.m. until 10 to 9, and then you get an interval. And when we come back, it's my favorite part of the show. It's where I solve dilemmas because I like to leave every town and city a little bit better than I found it. And I'm an agony aunt on this podcast. People write me emails about their lives, and so I figured why not do the same podcast

on tour. And I keep finding myself giving young women the advice that we assume our brains work like men's brains and they don't. So I think a female brain being a little bit more empathic

generous, you know, thoughtful, kind, nurturing, we would assume that if you treat your partner really well, then it will reflect on you. They'll go, she treats me really well. She's amazing. She prioritizes me. She looks after the children. She works hard. She gets very little sleep. She sacrifices a lot for the family. She's great. But I have read that men's brains don't work that way. That if you treat a man well, he will think he is great.

But if you treat yourself well, if you prioritize your self-care, you go to the gym, you hang out with the girls, you make space for yourself to have lunch in the city when you've got a meeting, you know what I mean? You're still a good wife and mother, but you do things for yourself. That's when he views you as amazing. Do for him, he thinks he's amazing. Do for you, he thinks you're amazing. And this has resonated with a lot of people. I've also seen psychologists talking like this on TikTok and relationship experts, but I don't really apply it to my own life.

I, um, I just don't. Well, but how can I? Because I do work a lot. The kids are really young. I don't do things for myself. And I've decided, hang on, I'm listening to me deliver this advice to young women. It's not too late to start doing it. Even if you're already married, even if you're in your forties, fifties, sixties, what have you. So I found this amazing Japanese head spa and

Go with me on this. It's called Opulence Japanese Head Spa. And they do this amazing treatment that I've only really seen on social media far away, like in Korea or indeed in Japan, where you sit under this like waterfall of like many little jets kind of in a little halo around your head. And it like just puts warm water everywhere.

your hair, like a comb of warm water through your hair. And there's a steam and a scalp massage and like an oiling treatment and they double shampoo and condition your hair. It's kind of someone just playing with your hair for an extended period of time. And I thought, oh, how nice. And then you can get other treatments while this head spa is going on. You can get

foot massage with like again hot stones and hot oil and little like cozy boots and exfoliation and then you can get a facial they do so many other things at this spa too you don't always have to get the Japanese shampoo thing

But I found it because Louisa Zisman went there. You will know her from her podcast, Luanna. And you might know her as having been on The Apprentice. And if you follow her on social media, you will know her for being a mega fuck-off millionaire with a bunch of horses living in a mansion. And this week...

I saw that she had to defend her property from this YouTuber. So she can't talk about it much on her podcast or indeed at all to press or anything because she's going through lawyers now. And once charges have been laid or something's gone to court, it sort of gags you from talking about it in the media because it can affect the case. So I'm not going to talk about it much either. But from everything I saw from this YouTuber's socials, he's riding around on her private property on a bike.

And I think that this is what his account does. And I don't even know the name, but he has drones. He flies them over beautiful homes and he publishes this content. Well, guess what? That is a security breach. Like you're not allowed just to be a total creep and fly a drone over someone's property, filming their house, their children, their garden. Like that could be sold to criminals who want to break in. It could be used for a myriad of nefarious purposes.

And so he was confronted by Louisa and her security team. She's got an estate manager. She's got security. I mean, like it is a multimillion dollar house and a huge property. And they're like, oh, hi, you're on private property. And he's like, well, I'm just going to keep riding my bike down to the end of the lane. And now this is his video, his video that he released that could have been edited in his favor, but he still looks like a dickhead.

Because she's like, well, I don't give you permission to be here. I want you to get your drone down. Stop filming my home where my children are and get off my property. And he basically refuses and he makes it a big thing. You know, these guys online, I've seen videos before where they're purposefully argumentative with police. And I have no problem with standing up for yourself and knowing your rights, especially with

instances of police bias and police brutality both in America and indeed over here like yeah stand up for yourself but this guy was being like you know an irritant a jobs worth for lack of a better term he's like well you can't touch my bike it's like she can because it's on her property and she told you to get off and you're not anyway I was hotly invested and Louisa always takes it like too far

So when our daughters went to school together, there was something on her podcast which the school asked her to take down. And that's fair enough. I mean, I have flirted with that myself. But I usually stay on the right side of like getting scolded by the headmaster. And also I have nothing bad to say about the school. But in this case, she put on social media like, please tell me his name and I'll give you 500 pounds.

And someone ratted him out, said what his name was from the video, told her his address. And it's not that she went over there to harass him or anything. She just needed this info for her lawyers. But it's so funny. And then she's posting photos of herself like clay pigeon shooting with her guns and working out. I mean, Luis has got incredible abs and muscles. And she's just like, what now?

So, I mean, he did pick the wrong one to mess with. She has the time and money to just go after you and bury you legally. And I don't know any other details of what's going on, but I would not want someone like imagine yourself. Okay. So I don't have like multiple acres of property like she does. And I imagine most of you listening don't either. But let's say there's a man with a camera just in your garden.

That's the same thing. And you're going to be like, can you stop filming my house and can you get out of my garden where my children play? And if he's like, no, I won't. Well, that's your private property. I think that people are returning to a time where we realize and we have a right to defend our private property. Like, what are your intentions? Get out. She shouldn't even have to justify herself. But I did see she's getting hate for it online and I truly don't understand why.

I think people just love to be like poor little rich girl okay her garden's bigger than yours you still don't want to creep filming your children so back to the Japanese head spa she influenced herself being there as I said she has a very difficult life she's getting the Japanese head spa treatment and I was influenced and I went on their website opulence japanese head spa not an ad

And this was like two months ago, and my first booking that I could get was for tomorrow. And I'm not sure if that was their availability or my tour dates or a combo of them both, but basically I'm so excited to go tomorrow. And normally what I would do on a day off is obviously the podcast, Catch Up on Admin. I'm sure I have a thousand other things to do. I should be writing treatments for things. I'm sort of pitching a podcast idea for Bobby, which I think is really exciting and I hope comes to some fruition.

But instead I was like, no, like fuck that. I'm going to the Japanese head spa, Opulence, for two hours and 15 minutes and I'm not coming back ever again. But the kids go to nursery three mornings a week and that morning is stretching to like 2 p.m. because they have so much fun there now. So like 9.30 a.m. to 2 p.m., three days a week, the kids are at nursery. And if I don't have work on, I almost don't know what to do with myself.

Japanese head spot is. And then yesterday I got an IV. I've talked about this with lupus before, and it's so funny how people are. Some people got so annoyed. I appreciate why they got annoyed because I sort of tampered with the IV myself. And then I had a bunch of nurses in the mansion saying you're not supposed to do that. Fair enough. Thank you for your feedback. I did learn my lesson. Now I no longer tamper with the clip on the IV, but I went to a more professional place where they have a pump.

which means the IV is dispersed on a schedule and the patient can't get impatient and tamper with it. Not that I would have, I learned my lesson. But for lupus and for a variety of autoimmune conditions, there is a treatment called IVIG, intravenous immunoglobin, and it's made from the blood of like 200 people, or maybe it's 2,000 people, a lot of people donate their blood

and their blood is not diseased with autoimmune conditions. So they have antibodies that you don't have. It sort of like revs up your blood and it stops you from having an overactive immune system that targets your healthy cells and tissue. So I went for that yesterday. That was in cred. It takes about four hours, but I get it now at the Lister Hospital, which is so relaxing. I don't know how this works.

But on the NHS, obviously if you qualify for IVIG, it's like free, but it costs the taxpayer like 3,000 pounds. I used to get it at this private place for 3,000 pounds where I would sit just in a regular chair with a bunch of other men and women getting it. And I would wait there. And this is the place that used the little clip that I could tamper with. And then I've learned not to because it's dangerous.

And I would order takeout. Sometimes I'd go outside and meet the delivery man and like have a soup in my chair or whatever. But it wasn't like high end. 3,000 pounds.

I get it at the Lister. They give me a private hospital room. I walked in because I had my first IVIG with the Lister like a few weeks ago. I'm going to get it every few weeks for a while because I've not been well. I don't know if you've been following my stand-up videos, if you can hear my voice, but sometimes when I do get ill, my voice goes. I get inflammation in my vocal cords and that is kind of the instrument that I need for tour.

So I get my own hospital room. I was like, huh? They bring me a menu. They're like, you can order anything you want off this, like a main and a side and a dessert and a drink. We'll bring you whatever you want. We're going to give you antihistamine to make sure you don't have a bad reaction. And that's going to make you really sleepy. So just lay in this bed for the next four hours and enjoy your infusion in this private room with Wi-Fi and a TV. And I was like, I don't think the Japanese head spot is going to be better than this.

And it's only 1,900 pounds at the Lister. So tell me why. I called the doctor. I said, is it less of a dosage? He said, no. Our prices are really competitive. I don't know why it was 3,000 pounds where you were going. But it's 1,900 pounds here. It's the exact same amount. You just get a private room because you do. And you can order anything you want off the menu. I was like, ha, ha.

So thank you, Lupus. Like I'm loving going there and it forces me to take a bunch of time for myself and just lay in this bed and scroll on TikTok or watch Meet the Baldwins or watch Beverly Hills Housewives or watch White Lotus. I'm having a blast with my self-care. And before I went to the Lister, I looked at the map and I was like, that is in South Kensington. Who else is in South Kensington? Dr. Nina. And I have done a controversial thing because...

I've been very vocal on the podcast about how I feel filler is probably inappropriate over 40. I think when you see men, but women especially, it's just widely, mostly women who seek these treatments, though men are revving up in their clientele base. When women get filler over 40, I think we've learned things about filler that we didn't know when I was 20 years old and started getting filler in my lips.

filler does stay with you. It can migrate. We were told when we started getting filler, it just goes away. But now they're doing MRIs where they're finding migrated filler in women's faces who haven't had any filler for like 11 years. So as soon as I saw that, that would have been pre-pandemic, pre-Fred, pre-Fenna. This is back when I got a little bit lost in the game. I was getting filler in my tear troughs. I was getting filler in my, not my cheeks, but like

upper upper cheekbone I don't know what you call that but like cheeks I would never do I would never do marionette lines I just think that drops right away but I was doing jaw and I was doing chin filler

And all of that I thought dropped. I thought it started to look a little bit lost in the game. And after my big hurrah with filler, when I went to LA, I think probably 2018 was the last time I did it. I was like, okay, no more. And I'm not going to get it in the lips either. A little bit of Botox here and there and like medical grade skincare after 40 is what you need or you're going to start to look like a pillow. You're going to start to look more masculine. It's going to age you because gravity will pull that filler down. You just don't need filler.

But then I got a cold. It's been a long winter. Started looking at my lips and I went, why don't I just go visit Dr. Nina for a cheeky 5 mil? Not 5 mil, 0.5 mil. Dr. Nina has a beautiful clinic, Facial Sculpting in South Kensington, and she has such a lovely touch. She's like the most beautiful girl in the world herself and she does her own treatments. And I thought, I'll just get half a mil.

just half a mil to plump the lips up to like hydrate them because hyaluronic acid is a real water binding molecule. That's why it looks so bad after a while. And I just got a bit in the lip and Bobby was like, what are you doing? Like you said you weren't getting filler anymore. And I said, yeah, well, rules were made to be broken. I needed just a cheeky half mil in the lip, but that's something that I, you know, would do so, so sparingly, so sparingly as I await the

a facelift in my late forties slash early fifties if I can make it, but very most likely late forties. I've also been going for acupuncture in my town. What other self-care things have I done? I was on tour with Annie and we started in, this was a wild weekend. So I was, you should never say you're in a movie because that is when they cut your scene from the movie.

And you know that I am not an actress. I cannot do drama, but a little slice of comedy here and there, especially when I'm mostly playing myself, I can do it. And I was given this opportunity that offered this chance to be part of a really cool Christmas movie that was filming in Leeds, very small role, just one day on set. And I thought, yes, I can handle that.

So we drove from London to Brighton, did a show in Brighton, drove to Southampton, spent the night in Southampton, drove from Southampton to Plymouth, did a show in Plymouth. And then immediately after the show at 10 p.m., I got in the car and was driven. I didn't drive myself all the way to Leeds, which takes five and a half hours. I arrived at 3.30 a.m. And then I had to be up and in the makeup chair the next day for the movie at 7 a.m.

But I am the perfect person for a crusade like that because of my children's sleep schedule. And they are getting better. I actually don't even mind that the babies are up like two quick times for milk in the night. It's absolutely fine. Doesn't bother me. It's like sustainable. I could do that for the rest of their lives, I think, and it would be fine.

But there was a young woman, and I hate to be a bitch because you don't know what people are going through. She could have some mental health issues herself. She could just be sensitive. She could have been having a bad week. I don't know what's going on with her. But something tells me she wasn't even in the show. There was a woman at the stage door.

And the way that I finished my show, I finished the show, I basically run out the door, especially when I have to drive from Plymouth to Leeds. I don't know if your UK geography is on the up, but mine wasn't. I didn't know it was going to be as far as it was, but I knew it was far.

I went from the stage, straight down the stairs, out the stage door and into the car because it was 10 p.m. and I had to work at 7 a.m. five and a half hours away the next day. So I just left. And as I was leaving, I heard this woman and her husband being like, Catherine, Catherine. But it wasn't like a friendly Catherine. Catherine was like, Catherine. Like they were cross.

And I didn't stop. Like normally I would say to the driver, oh, hang on, stop. I'm going to say hello or take a photo or sign some books. I did some autographs before the show. There was a beautiful little girl called Charlie with a very unique spelling. I met her with her dad. We took some photos. She brought my book, maybe an inappropriate book for her age, but also full of like feminist wisdom. So it balances out.

Before the show, I did that. But after the show, I'm sorry, I had to leave. And the trouble is, if I do stop at the end of the show, then people start to exit the parking lot with their cars. There's congestion. We could be stuck there for a long time. Or people will come out of the show and they will also want to have a chat, do photos, do autographs. I just didn't have time.

the energy to do that on that day. Like, look at my life. I'm sick. I've lost my voice. I'm doing like IVIG treatments every few weeks. Like, I am not in the immune system zone to be like shaking a bunch of hands at 10 p.m. on this night. I wasn't. I'm sorry. Normally, yes. This night, no. So I did leave and the car drove away and I felt badly, but I just thought if I stopped for one, I could be there. God knows how long I have to be professional ready for work tomorrow. And

And this woman commented on my Instagram, which has since deleted. She was like, you didn't stop for us in Plymouth tonight. That's the last time I ever come to see you or watch anything you do. Disgraceful behavior. Disgusting. And I was thinking to myself, if you saw my show, how did you get to the stage door? You either walked out of the show early, which like, I don't actually care if people do that, but a lot of performers would find that disrespectful. It would be distracting to a lot of the audience.

You either left early to get yourself to the stage door or you weren't in the show at all. You weren't in the show at all because a lot of people do that, which again, don't care. They come with their photos or they want autographs or pictures signed before or after the show, but they haven't been to the show. I don't care. I don't need to like see your ticket. Do what you want with your life. But this woman went on to say like all the other comedians have stopped for me and you didn't.

And I said, I'm sorry. Like I had to drive to Leeds. And she was like, well, that's disgusting behavior. Like you're happy because you got the money anyway. Well, half the money because the theater was half full. Ha ha. I mean, it was a sold out show in Plymouth, but like I'm not going to be pedantic with this woman. She was clearly like hot, angry. So I just left it. I just, I think there's a time with, I don't want to call this woman a troll, but there's a time with people commenting on your social media where you have to make a mental judgment call like,

Is this someone who is, like, got a personality that maybe you don't need to be arguing with them? Like, maybe they've got enough going on. Like, I'll just leave it. So I did leave it. But by then, loads of other people were like, you don't realize how bad you look. Like, this is embarrassing for you posting on Catherine's socials. Like, she doesn't owe you all of her time and a show. Like, you went to the show. That's what you get. And, like, chill out, basically. And then this woman deleted her comments. But...

I have been in this industry a very long time and I think that's the first person who's ever been like, you did not give me your time and now I'm never watching you again. It was new for me. I love a new experience. It was fresh. It was exciting. But I think I also give people my time a lot. So maybe that's why it doesn't happen. So sorry to that lady. But if she's saying all the comedians stop for her, she's leaving all of their shows early?

Or she's just not going to any of their shows. Is she buying a ticket for every single comedian who comes to Plymouth? Or is she just standing at the stage door every single time a comedian comes to Plymouth? And I do realize that a lot of autograph hunters especially or people who like to collect photos, it is like a compulsion for them. It's a collector's thing. They want to get them all. It's like Pokemon. And if one person doesn't cooperate, it kind of ruins the set. I do appreciate that.

You know, so I will try to be more accommodating in the future. But this was wild, like, especially because I told the woman, like, could she not look at my message and be like, oh, oh, you had to drive to Leeds at 10 p.m., arrive at 3.30 a.m. and then work at 7. Okay, well, I get it. No, she didn't get it. But filming the movie was so much fun.

It was great. I loved the makeup and hair team. I loved the costume design guy. He was like a real musical theater buff when we spoke about all of that. I liked what I wore. I liked the people that I worked with. There's a big celebrity in the movie. I got to have a scene with them.

And it did feel like, ooh, I hope I'm not upsetting them. Like, I don't know at what point with me acting opposite, especially like a very good actor, at what point they can tell that I'm not an actor. So I hope, I don't know, I hope that I did that famous person justice because what I don't want is them going back to the director and being like, why did you put me opposite her? Like...

If you are acting opposite someone, even when you're just reacting and the camera's on them, you still have to do a good job or else it puts them off and then they don't give their best performance. And that's what I was most worried about. I'm like, please don't let me do anything that puts them off. I just want them to feel good about their scene and I'm a little extra chatty character in it. Fine. Just don't fuck it up. Catherine.

We'll see you next time.

With over 600,000 five-star reviews, this best-selling foundation is going viral for a reason. Take the Power Match quiz now at ilmakiage.com slash quiz. I-L-M-A-K-I-A-G-E dot com slash quiz. On the subject of fucking things up. Fuck it up. I have learned from Violet that I have to be posting regularly on TikTok. Violet is like the influencer in our household who teaches me about all the hip young things.

There is less television being made, more is happening on socials, and as you know, my resolution this year was to get better on my socials. So while I was getting the IVIG treatment the other day, I was in that hospital bed loving my life, and I see some tabloid reports from the Brits. I don't know if you have seen this as well, and I...

You know, I'm 41. I've lived a long life. I know that nobody's perfect. I know that every relationship might not be what it looks like from the outside. The only people who know what's going on in a relationship are the two people or now in the modern world, three to seven people who are in that relationship. There were two celebrities. I've made a career out of not naming people that I'm obviously talking about. So you can look it up for yourself. There are two celebrities who

who allegedly, and I say allegedly, I do have eyes in my head, I saw this video, I would say with 99.9% certainty, a few things. Number one, the video definitely looks like they're kissing, canoodling, smooching at a Brits after party. Number two, tabloid newspapers have their faults, but I highly doubt that they could publish a report like this if they weren't pretty sure.

Number three, if they did publish a video and allegation that two celebrities are smooching at a Brits after party, if that's false, their representatives come out right away. This was posted Sunday night. It's now Tuesday afternoon. No retraction or like no correction from the person. And so that makes me smell a rat because one of these celebrities is married with a child. One of these celebrities is not.

Again, I don't know either of them very well. I know of them like I think I would know them to say hello and every interaction I've had with them has been great. I think they're both great people, wonderful people. I think good people do bad things. I think...

that good people lose their guard. I don't really know what's happening. But a lot of people, I've noticed in the comments, come to the man's defense right away. They go, he would never do something like that. He would not. I know him from this show I saw. I know him from this music I've listened to. I know him from this sport I like, whatever. And he would not. You don't know him.

You don't know him at all. You certainly don't know him well enough to say he would not do what you can see with your own eyes he's doing, unless the video is very misleading. And he's not come out with a statement to deny that it's him in the video doing exactly what it looks like he's doing. And then people go, well, actually, I heard a rumor that he's not even with his wife. They're separated and they just haven't announced it.

Like people will defend a man they don't know, just jump straight to his defense and go, he didn't do it, he couldn't do it, he wouldn't do it. There must be something else that we don't know. And it's nice to give people the benefit of the doubt. But where is that olive branch for the woman? Because the woman, who by the way, in this little alleged interaction, is totally unattached. She's not married. She doesn't have a partner right now. She has no responsibility to someone at home.

Is it the right thing to do to kiss a married person? I would say no, but I would hold her less culpable than someone who has signed a contract and had a child with someone and is currently behaving, very recently anyway, as though they are in an active monogamous marriage. People are just slating her in the comments, in the press, like a homewrecker this, she's done it before, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah. And showing this man that they don't know such grace. He would never.

And I put a quick little TikTok up, not mentioning either of them, being like, he would. They do. This is why I think that you can love men. You can marry men. Hopefully the video is wrong. I wish everyone the best in every situation. But I do believe that they are more likely to leave the house for milk, be gone five minutes, and forget they have a whole family. I think women are so much less likely to do such things.

And every time I like try to claw it back for men and I try to think, all right, Catherine, no more of this narrative. Like we're tired of hearing about how you don't trust men. Something like this antagonizes me from my hospital bed. So I had to just say like, yeah, they will. And I don't mean him. I don't know what he's done. I don't know. You know, I looks like the video they're kissing, but I don't know. But I just mean everyone in your own relationship. You can trust your husband as much as you want, but never 100%, 95% maximum.

because he could just be at a party and like forget his entire life. That's what I have learned in 41 years on this planet of knowing people, seeing relationships, consoling my wounded friends, being in relationships myself. Their loyalty is not on the same scale as ours. And I would also say for the people who are speculating, oh, well, maybe they're not together and they're just not announcing it. Okay, well, if it isn't announced,

then you don't disrespect your wife by publicly kissing someone where you could be easily seen by all of the press who are also at that event. It's a bad look any way you slice it. However, he didn't kill anyone. No one was hurt. This is not, you know, something that people can't come back from. Everyone does make mistakes. I think as we get older and we're all in our own marriages as well and we see like the gray of stuff, I do hope...

That this is sorted, you know, soon without someone getting like canceled and on the cover of the paper like, you know, we have seen in the past with celebrities because no one was assaulted. No one was hurt. You know what I mean? There are a lot worse things than an indiscretion like this.

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Trade in your old phone for a brand new iPhone 16 Pro, iPad, and Apple Watch. Visit Verizon.com today. Additional terms apply. Service plan required for Apple Watch and iPad. But it really took the heat off this Winnie the Pooh guy who was fucking a teacher in his work van. I don't know if you saw this on TikTok. And God bless Violet for introducing me to the entertainment of TikTok. It's very sad, really. There's a woman who's obviously irate. This video's gone viral. You can find it if you search...

what is his name something and steph work van or even work van right now it'll come up it is as popular as the video that was shot inside pentonville prison when the female security guard was having sex with the inmate it's just like you know your barber your butcher like your laundry guy at the dry cleaners everyone has seen this video an irate woman comes to a white work van and she's yelling at the man inside and he's like peeking out from the back through the passenger window and he's like

I'm just in my work van. And she's like, yeah, fucking someone in the work van, aren't you? And he's like, no, no. And then she goes around to the back.

And as she flings the doors open, he's trying from the inside to grab the doors and hold them shut. But it's too late. She opens the van doors. And he's there like Donald Duck with no pants on and his little knob out. And he pulls his T-shirt down to cover his like sad penis. And there is what looks to be a fully clothed woman with black tights. She's in like, I mean, it makes sense that she's a teacher. She's wearing clothes to be like teaching. I don't know if she was on her lunch break or what was going on.

But they're clearly having an affair in the back of the van. And the woman starts screaming. She's like, our kids are in the car. Like, I knew that you were here. She's probably got him on Find My Friends because he's not clever enough to turn it off. She finds him in the work van, absolutely caught red-handed with his dick out in a T-shirt. And the woman that he's with is like, oh, I've had enough. She crawls into the front seat and

And again, the world is being very harsh on her. I've heard reports that she's taking it really badly. Her mental health is not great. She's been suspended from work allegedly. Like this is ridiculous because she is not the one married to this angry woman with the camera. Sure, she's maybe not behaving herself in the most aspirational way that you or I would hope. She has fallen in love or started a relationship with a married man. Who knows what he's told her?

She's not completely innocent, but does she deserve to have her career ruined, her face name and address doxxed, her job, like, in tatters, and her mental health in the toilet? Like, that's disgusting. And I wish that there was a way that we could conduct ourselves in social media where we speak about things with that amount of grace. Like, we should know better by now. People have really gone to a dark place because of stuff like this. And yeah, like, they did the wrong thing.

But what you definitely don't want, as that wife, as that wife with the phone filming and then choosing to post it on social media, in the moment you feel anger and you feel hurt and betrayal and you want to get revenge. But let's say this young woman were to hurt herself. That wife, I don't know, in a legal sense, would she be culpable? But she would never forgive herself from like an emotional space her whole life. So you got to like keep it together when this stuff happens. And I do think that part of that is,

is mentally preparing yourself for like, yeah, am I or am I not with the kind of guy who might have sex with another woman in the back of his work van? And if he does, how will I move forward without absorbing his shame as my own, have boundaries, keep my dignity, and not dox a woman online to the point where her mental health is impacted? Like, you've got to be a lady about these things. Yeah.

But that guy's having a great time. He's like, oh, thank God someone might have kissed at the Brits and I can get off like the For You page for a while. It's all very sad.

Before I go, I just wanted to give a follow-up to the subject on last week's episode about putting young people on the oral contraceptive pill or the like depo shot or the patch or the little like implant that goes in your arm. Anything that controls their natural cycle, disrupts natural ovulation while they're

and like hormones are still being worked out, I feel is maybe not what we're doing anymore. And a lot of people wrote in agreement. I'll do a separate episode with like a lot of the specific advice, but broadly there's a book called The Pill Changes Everything that was recommended to me that I'm reading now. And also Jen Gunter, who my mom will like leap up and recommend for like every female issue ever. That's a really good book on the subject too. But basically I feel that there's an argument for women

Our hormones need a place, especially when we're young and we're establishing menstrual cycles, and you shouldn't disrupt ovulation, even though the pill has lots of benefits too. This doctor, I told you, really didn't like hearing that from me, and she is so great, but she wrote me a follow-up letter like all private doctors do after your appointment. And in it, she put...

We talked about options for symptoms. Non-hormonal treatment would be in the form of regular non-steroidal, such as mefenamic acid, which regular paracetamol can also be added, but pain relief must start as soon as there's the slightest hint of pain.

to be able to get on top of it before it creates a crescendo. An antispasmodic such as hyocene may also be helpful and some tranexamic acid to reduce the flow on the heaviest days. Interesting. I'm very happy to look at those things, especially like antispasm. Fine. She's still producing hormones normally, still ovulating normally. And then it says...

An alternative to this would be to commence a combined pill to give a good cycle control. This would potentially also improve skin, which offends me because her skin is perfect and can be run back to back to give fewer bleeds per year. Okay. And would likely reduce pain when bleeding does occur. Catherine, this is the part I'm trying to get to. Catherine,

I can just feel this woman like gazing up at her many like PhDs and medical degrees and being like this fucking moon goddess woman who's a clown and knows nothing. Catherine was quite reluctant to think about the combined pill, although I'm not sure if there is any evidence to support her concerns regarding the pill. Hurtful. All right. I didn't know what to say. Like put on the spot in that meeting.

But this is what I said to the adolescent female member in my extended family. I said, ultimately, the decision is yours. However, I would expect this doctor to know about the evidence that

or at least the argument against the combined pill for teenagers. If she chooses to disagree with that argument and refute that argument, I would be very happy to hear it. But to not even know that there's like a whole movement and all these books and like legitimate research where people are like, you need your hormones. Like,

I just don't have faith. Like, I need this person to know at least what the argument against the pill is if she's going to do her due diligence in then prescribing the pill to teenagers. I would want to know that. I wouldn't be like, this mom's off her rocker. All right, I'm not as smart as you are. Yeah, yeah. But, like, even though I'm dumb, I do think...

that hormones exist for a reason. So the pill is everything. The pill changes everything. That's what I'm reading. And this woman is not like anti-pill. She starts off by being like, it's because of the pill that I am a doctor. I was successful in my university without having a baby, blah, blah, blah. But if you're using hormones and controlling your natural cycle just to prevent heavy periods and pain, like there must be other methods. Can someone please study women? Please? Please?

Thank you for listening to another episode of Telling Everybody Everything. If you ever want to write me an email, the address is tellingeverybodyeverything at gmail.com. Please look after each other. Goodbye.