Commitment: The Ghoul in Pyjamas (Book 7, Chapter 6)
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I'm Casper Ter-Kyle. And I'm Vanessa Zoltan. And this is Harry Potter and the Sacred Text. Casper, we have two announcements today. Our first one is our Every Flavored Bean, which you came up with. Can you please tell the people? Well, inspired by this chapter, I'm very curious what life milestone celebration would you like to combine with someone else's?

For example, mass wedding. I'm kind of into it. We'll share more in our bean conversation. For like seven years with my friend Duke, we did a Purim slash St. Patrick's Day party. Oh, that's genius. Yes. So I love this idea. Okay. Harry's birthday and a wedding. Yes. St. Patty's and Purim. Yes. Absolutely. Absolutely.

Our only other announcement is that our annual class, What Matters, is now available for sale. We are doing three incredible, incredible books this year. Sacred Reading, The Parable of the Sower by Octavia Butler, Station Eleven by Emily St. Mandel, and Moreno.

one of my favorite books of all time, Women Talking by Miriam Taves. And you also get one-on-one chaplaincy and you get coaching on how to do great storytelling. It's a really special class and you can learn more about that at notsorryworks.com. Vanessa, our theme for this week is commitment. What story do you have for us? So,

So Casper, as you know, I am very committed to my children. Unlike other parental figures, I'm committed to my children. But I have some just like ritual commitments because I am such a part-time stepmom, right? Like when the kids come over, my phone gets put in a bowl. When my kids talk to me, I'm like,

Unless I'm in the middle of cooking, I stop and I square my shoulders and face them. Like I just, I have these like rules for myself to make sure that I'm really present when I'm with them. And one of them is if they ask to hang out, if I physically can hang out,

The answer is yes. I will schlep across the city. I will do whatever. My answer is always yes. And so I had had like a long, hard week and I was exhausted, Casper. I was exhausted.

I was in the middle of a move. I had just gotten back from a pilgrimage. I was so tired and stressed. And the kids called and they were like, we miss you. Can we hang out? And I was like, of course we can.

And I drove. I was staying in Cambridge and I like drove all the way out to the suburbs to pick them up. And I was so happy to see them. You know, it's just so good. Like they just wanted to spend time with me, like with no ulterior motive. What is sweeter than that? And so we went to a store and we were just puttering around a store and chatting. And this is the moment where...

I regret my decision. We were at a store with shopping carts and we weren't going to really shop, but I thought to myself, I'm going to take a shopping cart to have something to lean on. I need something to literally physically hold me up. Because in my head, if you physically can be with the children, that's the commitment. You are with the children.

And so we walk around this store and then I drop the kids off and I barely make it back to Cambridge. And I just like pass out. I mean, like wake up several hours later, like dripping in sweat and like wake up. And I was staying with the Patsys and Colette is like, do you want to take a COVID test?

Casper, it had not occurred to me that this could be COVID. It was 2024. I was jet lagged, right? Like there were so many reasons for me to be tired that it just like, that did not occur to me. Take a COVID test. That thing lights up so fast. And I was like, oh my God, I...

have forgotten what my commitment under the commitment to the kids is. My commitment is to love the kids and show them my love in everything I do. Getting them sick with COVID is not how you show love. Risking everyone else at that store, not how you show love. Like big commitment

And I think that we do that all the time where we...

Ritualize, right? Like, I really think with our phones. Like, I actually do think we want our phones near us all the time for really good reasons. Like, I want my mom to be able to get a hold of me. I want the kids to be able to get a hold of me. I want to be responsive when you text me. But then it's near me, and so I pick it up all the time. And it's really hard to separate out the value and the reason that you set the commitment from how you live the commitment, right? Or like...

A commitment to go to the gym to keep yourself healthy. And then you go even when you're tired and like probably shouldn't go to the gym, right? I think that often we lose track of what the commitment under the commitment was. And yeah, that was definitely a moment. And what I really regret is that sometimes life will show you like, oh, oh, like you've lost track. Yeah, the idea of competing commitments, right? That you have two things that are both...

both true. And, you know, I can totally imagine, right? You're so eager to have that good relationship with the kids. And so when they're seeking you out, you're like, absolutely, I'm going to push through this other thing. But as you say, right, what's that actually about? Well, it's about loving, protecting, uplifting, you know, all of those things and getting them sick is not going to help with that.

So it's, I think there's also something about like the risk we're willing to engage for a commitment, right? Because it wasn't in your brain of like, oh, I may be sick, but it, you know, if they hadn't called you would have been in bed. So it's like, what am I willing to withstand or what am I willing to push through to keep this commitment? Which I think is laudable by the way. So anyway, I feel like the competing commitments make so much sense. I think that's something we all have to navigate. Yes, that's it. Because it can feel like,

Oh, am I not living up to my values? When really living up to your values can look like different things depending on the circumstance. And you aren't necessarily letting yourself down. The world is complicated. You love your children and COVID is still a thing post-lockdown. Right. Right. Exactly. The etymology comes from commitere, which means to unite.

That's interesting. Yes. And so it's like uniting an action with a goal. I like that. Like I have the goal to love my kids, but until I do something, right? Like make a commitment. It's just like an idea. So true. So true. Well, I'll tell you what wasn't just an idea. Sorting through the books of what to leave behind and what to take with me as we hunt horcruxes. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh my God, all the books. The greatest moment in the whole series happens in this chapter. So many great moments in this chapter. So many great moments. I love this chapter. It's a great chapter. Why don't you count me in and I will remind you what happened. Okay, please do. On your mark, get set.

So the wedding is coming up and Mrs. Weasley is intent on the trio not having any time together to plan their kind of reckless adventure. She first of all tries to get Harry to not go, but he's determined. And so she's like, fine, you go clean the chicken sheds. Ron introduces Harry to the ghoul, which is going to be the decoy. Hermione's packing all the books, trying to figure out what to take, what not to take. They're trying to make plans.

people are coming back from the attack and it's all bad and they're very sad about Mad-Eye and Fleur Delacoste finally arrives. So good. Wow. I got this online timer going which has really big numbers and then does a loud alarm at zero. That really added to the stress but also the excitement. Um,

Effective. Effective. Commitment. All right. 30 seconds on the clock for you, my friend. Tell us what happens in this chapter. Here we go. Three, two, one, go.

So Harry and Ginny get a minute alone and he's like, oh, I could kiss you right now. But they don't because he's trying to protect her. And they're really busy getting ready for the wedding. And Molly is really stressed and is like, you should continue your education. And then Hermione does two amazing things. It turns out that kind of as soon as she found out Dumbledore died, she was like, Accio books, baby. And she's really busy packing.

Tracking and thinking ahead. And then also she confunded her parents and sent them to Australia so that they could be safe. And she's like, of course, we're coming with you, Harry. Truly epic preparations. I know.

So, Casper, there's just like a very obvious moment of commitment in this chapter. And I think it's one of the more famous scenes in the novels, right? Where Hermione and Ron are like, "Here you go, Harry, telling us that we don't have to come with you. We knew this was coming. Obviously, we're coming with you." And Hermione goes on a speech, and part of this speech is it was decided long ago, years ago, actually.

I'm wondering if you think that's true. What they're saying is we're committed to coming with you now, but they're also saying we've been committed for a long time. And if I was Harry, would also be worried that they would kind of be like frogs in water that is slowly getting hotter. That like you accidentally got tricked into committing to this.

Like you got thrown into a pot with me and the water got hotter and hotter and now you're just stuck boiling with me. And like, I want to remind you that you can hop out. And I feel like that often happens with our families where you think something is normal because it's how you were raised. And that doesn't mean that you've actually made a commitment to it.

And I'm wondering what you think about this commitment. This was the first time on reading it that I was like, maybe Harry's right, guys. Like, you have not made a commitment to this.

It's so interesting because I think the situations for Ron and Hermione are very different. In some ways, you know, the commitment to Ron happens on platform nine and three quarters. Right. Certainly on the Hogwarts Express with Hermione, we think of the troll. And so like there are these initial moments where their friendships form. And I think you could look back at that and be like, okay, so that's when it happened. There might also be moments like...

you know, the Triwizard Tournament or, you know, the Philosopher's Stone, the kind of moment where they've really been tested together in a different way. But I think the reason why it's different is that Ron is in a family that is so united around the same goal as Harry, right? Resisting Voldemort, you know, being willing to risk their lives for it. And so even if Ron was to say like, okay, Harry, I'm not coming with you, there's a

a rejection of Harry, but also a rejection of his family in that, which is interesting. For Hermione, you know, we see in this chapter that she is literally willing to magic her parents into changing their names, having a sudden urge to move to Australia. Now they're Wendell and Monica and they live in Brisbane, you know, whatever it is. And, and,

So the choice to, I was about to say follow Harry, but to join Harry in this quest is at the expense of her connection to her family. I don't know. Those just seem like different contexts. And so I feel like even though she's narrating this as like, oh, we've already made this decision long ago. And of course, in many ways, no.

their commitment to Harry at the risk of public humiliation, of being outcast, of being wanted, you know, of being in danger. Certainly that has been made a long time ago, but it feels like this is another choice point.

Because it's so big this time, to make it a conscious choice feels too overwhelming. And so it's easier to narrate it in a sense of like, well, I was on this path and like, I'm not going to question this decision. Because if I did question it, it would be overwhelming. Yeah. I know. I guess if I was Harry, I'd be like, but think about it, guys. Yeah.

Right? Like, you could go to Hogwarts this year. You could resist in other ways that aren't you on the run. Hermione, you're giving up your education. I'm not saying that Harry should have said that. I'm just saying that there really doesn't seem to have been a moment of discernment where they again agree. They commit to this level of commitment.

The assumption is just that. Yeah. I mean, it's just this question of like, when you didn't know what you were committing to, right? Yo, the situation changes. Yeah. Like, yeah, Harry, I'll fight a troll with you, but I didn't mean I was gonna hunt cruxes. Is that what I was saying? I magic these books over to my bedroom and actually on reflection, this stuff is really deep and not my vibe. Yeah.

It's just like, was there enthusiastic consent? Was there enough information disclosed?

Well, I think this is where it's important to remember that we're in the context of the summer ending because that's happened before that certainly between Ron and Hermione, but even the wider Weasley family and the Order, they make a whole bunch of decisions that impact Harry's life and support Harry, to be clear, but that Harry is not proxy to. Like there's a lot of decisions being made for him and about him each of these summer holidays, right? Most famously, we think about the summer where he feels like totally left alone. It's like, oh, you guys were hanging out.

So I do think there's maybe some conversations that are off the page, right? And certainly as we see, even in this chapter, you know, Ron with the handkerchief, like trying to comfort Hermione. Like there's just more of an intimacy about them, which has a romantic quality, which just also means that their commitment is to each other, I think.

as much as it is to Harry. Yep, yep, yep. And of course, to overthrowing Voldemort, to protecting their families, for serving society. Like, there's so many layers to this commitment that align that I think sometimes Harry interprets it as like, he is responsible. Right. If anything happens to anyone, they did it for him. And they did. But like,

Mad-Eye was fighting for justice. He was trying to protect, right? He's like serving a bigger principle and Harry embodies that principle in a lot of important ways. And I think we're seeing that with Ron and Hermione too. And I think one of the things that your point illustrates is that we make commitments for complex reasons.

Right. Like I am committed to always saying yes to my kids because I think it is good psychologically for me in the role that I have as their stepmom to do that, but also because I like my kids and they're fun and it's, I love being with them. And right. Usually when we make a commitment, it isn't just for one reason and especially a big one like this. And so I love that point that I can just imagine Ron being like, explain the

Explain the world to me and would you and Hermione go and I go to Hogwarts? Like, what is that like? Well, we're actually going to find out what that looks like later in this book for a whole second. No, but right. Like, I can imagine, like, the web of commitments is so complex and deep and meaningful at this point. But yeah, maybe it was made years ago, I guess. Yeah.

Well, in some ways, Percy illustrates an interesting alternative, especially for the Weasley unit as a family. Yeah. Because he is the only one who's, like, chosen a very different route and has suffered the relational consequences. And that's not to say that the Weasleys have done anything wrong, I think, because Percy made some really bad choices. But...

For Ron to, like, not go, I wonder if he's looking at his older brother and being like, well, is that the choice I want? I don't even think he's thinking about that, honestly. But it's helpful to have as a comparison. Yeah, Ron could go to Hogwarts, though, right? I mean, like, Molly wants him to. But does she? Do you think if he said, Mom, you're right, I'm going to go to Hogwarts, would she be a little bit ashamed? I don't know. I...

I can't guess at that. What I would say is that it would matter on how he was going to Hogwarts. Yeah, I agree.

old man made this child believe that he had to be the savior i mean she says that to harry she's like are you sure you didn't hear dumbledore say this has to be done and you heard you've got to do it which is such a fair question to ask you know i think i honestly i really respected molly in this chapter because she she challenges all three of them at different points and

And then when Harry's like, no, it has to be me. I'm going. She drops it and she makes him clean the chicken coop eight times every day. But like, I really admired her like clarity of asking the questions and then being like, okay, you've made your decision. So Molly is so interesting to me on this theme of commitment in this chapter, because what she is acutely committed to is keeping these kids safe. And so she's like, nope, you guys shouldn't go.

Right. It is going to be dangerous on the run. We happen to know that Hogwarts is not going to be a safe place either. She, I don't think, is under the impression that Hogwarts is going to be as dangerous as it turns out that it will be. But what's interesting is, is that part of what makes the world safe is a world without Voldemort.

And so you want your kids to be part of the resistance to make the world the place that they deserve for the world to be. And yet you also just kind of want the world to already be that. And so I'm wondering if like Molly, if she took a step back and was like, well, if I what I want is for the kids to be safe.

then they have to go and do this because that's the only way for there to be a safe world. Or if it would be like, and that's adult's job. I'm suddenly connecting the dots between Molly's experience with the twins and this moment. Mm.

Because she had such a definitive idea of what they should do. Yeah. And has seen that she was wrong. Yeah. Or at least has seen that their choice and their conviction and commitment to the business, to what they wanted to do, that that could also be right. And I'm wondering if that gives her a sense of,

I don't want to say humility, but like just a sense of like, I may not know best. And what I can do is ask tough questions. And if they have reasonable answers, like I have, I have to trust these young people, even though they are 17. I'm just wondering if Molly is having this, yeah, just this moment of recognition of like, okay, I've, I, I learned something from my children. How humbling. And yeah, there's just a,

I don't know. She's obviously conflicted between wanting that safety and also understanding that she might not know everything, even though, you know, she desperately wants to. I think she would have responded differently if this had been her firstborn. I guess that's what I'm saying. Like, she's been through this a couple of times with kids who had big visions about what they wanted to do in the world.

I mean, I think she also knows that she just can't control her children. Right? Like, Charlie is going to go out there and fight dragons or whatever. And Percy is going to, you know, side with the ministry and insult his father, which is not how he was raised. And Fred and George are going to quit school. And yeah, it's just like the more I try to control them, the more I'll lose them. So,

So actually, if her commitment is to keep them as safe as she can, I think letting them go so that they stay in right relationships so that they can always come back to the borough and always feel safe coming back to the borough is the thing that she can do. She can be like, this is really dangerous and I'm really scared for you. I'm committed to your safety and therefore I will be a safe harbor and I'd rather be in good relationship with you than not.

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One of my favorite moments of Molly's in this chapter is she asks Harry what he would like to do for his birthday. Yeah. And even amidst all of that kind of conflict and stress and the wedding that's literally happening the next day, she still has the presence of mind and this loving, loving

Yeah, protective energy to figure out, like, how can we celebrate you? This is an important moment in your life. We want to honor you. We want to celebrate you, you know. And Harry is like, please don't do anything special, you know. And she's like, okay, well, I'll invite Hagrid over. And he's like, great. But just that commitment to care and that commitment to...

I don't know, she has really, as the kids say, understood the assignment, you know, of just knowing that they are his surrogate family and that comes, you know, with beautiful opportunities and pain too, right, of having to let them all go.

I just, I saw commitment in that so much of, you know, in the midst of so much stress and danger still being committed to honoring Harry as a person. Which makes me realize, right, her commitment of safety is under that commitment to care. And I feel like what we're gonna see, you know, at Harry's birthday party is a group of people who are committed to caring for Harry.

And the manifestation of that care comes off differently. For Molly, it's safety oriented. For Arthur, it's, you know, being someone who he can bounce ideas off of. For Hermione is doing all this preparation and the support, right? That sometimes it is okay to be like, what am I really committed to? Right? Like, oh, right. I'm just committed to showing care and it doesn't have to look any one way. Yeah.

Okay, there's one more place that I want to think about commitment in the text, which is actually Voldemort. Yes. As part of Hermione's reading about Horcruxes, and she's got a whole bunch of new information now, which the tree have not had before, because of these books that she accioed out of Dumbledore's office, literally after the funeral. I mean, talk about foresight and also slightly obsessive. I love it. I love it. It's not like the second she found out he was dead, right?

Right. That's true. It's like after the funeral, she goes back to her room and she's like, I wonder what they're going to do with his belongings. His belongings. His books. Oh my God. No, I love her. I want her on my team. So, you know, through those books, she's learned a lot more about the magic of making Horcruxes. And specifically, she's learned how much further Voldemort has taken this magic. Right. The books describe making a single Horcrux. He's done it with six. And so the extent of...

this evil magic that he has been willing to go to, reveals the commitment that Voldemort has to survival, perhaps. But maybe it's about actually the fact that it is going beyond, right? That it's more about being the greatest or the most powerful. And I'm curious how you thought about what is it that Voldemort is committed to in this act of making these Horcruxes? I think it is survival. I just saw Bridget Jones mad about the boy.

In which her father tells her, don't just survive, live. Right? And Voldemort is not trying to like thrive or have a meaningful life. Right? Like he is just about survival. And I think that that is where commitment becomes important.

right? When it isn't generating anything other than itself, right? Like care can look a multiple of different ways. Caring for my kids can look like a multiple of different ways. It can sometimes look like going out with them. It can sometimes look like not going out with them. And I think that that is when we know that something is complex and therefore beautiful. But Voldemort, it is survival at all costs. It is a black and white commitment

We know this like single issue voters, right? Like you can obliterate everything else if you are willing to only care about one thing. I think we see the real danger of commitment through Voldemort's commitment to survival.

My only hesitation about that reading is that we've seen him survive, whether it was in Albania or, you know, like he's had these periods of survival, but not thrival before. And he has come back. And it's making me wonder if it's really...

What he's committed to is power. And of course, to have power, you need to survive. And so he's done that through creating these Horcruxes. But there's this insatiable hunger for more. Like he wants power over, he wants control. There's a sort of survival plus maybe model. Yeah, domination. I mean, it's domination over death, right? That's what it is. Yeah. That's good. Yeah, because it has this like,

look at what I can do that no one else has done before. And I'm, I'm, I'm literally going to make you die. If you get in my way, domination of a death, that's DOD. That's what it is. Yep. Yeah. And I, I think it's just so important. You know, we've spent most of this conversation talking about the virtues of commitment, but I think,

We know if someone is totally committed to something without any pause and questioning, is this still something that I want to do? Right. If you're like, I'm committed to running this marathon, even on a sprained ankle, even on a sprained knee, even if the weather tops 120 degrees. Right. Like at some point you're like, can we can we drop this commitment? But Voldemort, right, like he is just going to keep trying to dominate death no matter what. Right.

Well, Vanessa, our spiritual practice today is Lectio Divina. And so we are returning to our favorite spiritual practice where we pick a sentence at random and then ask ourselves four questions about it. And we're drawing on the sacred reading tradition from the Christian tradition, which of course was made famous to us by Guido II and his ladder of monks in which each

question kind of brings us up the ladder closer to the divine and I have a little sentence for you which I promise you is a random one but oh boy does it bring me joy it goes like this and of course you have met my little daughter Gabrielle said Monsieur Delacour

And I am not just doing an accent. That accent is in the text. We have little and you have met. So I feel for any French speakers, forgive me, but I feel it's justified. Vanessa, what is literally happening in this sentence? And of course, you have met my little daughter, Gabrielle, said Monsieur Delacour. So the Delacour's floor's parents have recently arrived at the borough and

And they are making introductions. And so he is introducing Gabrielle. Is it just to Harry like everybody else has met? It's also to Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. Mrs. Weasley. Okay, it is. And that's worth mentioning because Mr. Weasley has just seen Fleur's mother and is kind of entranced by her beauty. Indeed. Of course, she is a vealer. And Mrs. Weasley makes quick work of that by throwing him a look upon which he became immediately silent. Okay.

So Mr. Delacorte, I'm sure, has to navigate this more than once. And so I was like, let's move on. You know, meet my lovely daughter. Yes. And Harry has met Gabrielle because Harry has saved Gabrielle's life.

Turns out that he didn't really save her life because her life wasn't really in danger. But, you know, you know, experientially. That's how it felt. So step two is to kind of allow our minds to expand, to think about, you know, other images, other songs, other poems, other stories that this sentence reminds you of. And of course, you have met my little daughter, Gabrielle, said Monsieur Delacour.

I mean, I can't help but think of Fawlty Towers, which, you know, was a kind of classic British 90s comedy, which it was very English in its humor of our European neighbors, you know, making fun of Germans and French people and Spaniards. So I feel like any Brit doing an accent reminds me of Fawlty Towers, which was, you know, set in a hotel welcoming guests often. So there's some connection there. I think it's just the accent.

But it reminds me of the movie Sabrina, where Sabrina has grown up as the chauffeur's daughter living above the garage at a very fancy Hamptons house. Long Island. I'm not sure if it's the Hamptons, but Long Island. And she goes to Paris and comes back.

And she has to be reintroduced. She's cut her hair. She's totally different. And yet she isn't different. Right. And so Gabrielle is probably the same and yet not the same. She has been changed. So in the ways that as a burgeoning adult, you get frustrated by people who knew you as a kid where you're like, I'm not like that anymore. Like, can you not pinch my cheeks, please?

that maybe Gabrielle is feeling a little bit of. That takes me straight to the third question, which is, you know, how does this sentence relate to your own experience? And as the eldest of four with three younger sisters, I still fall into the habit of referring to my younger sister as in Dutch, I will say kleine roos, like little, little rose, little Rosa. And like, she's a full adult. Yeah.

You know, like when she was six, that's one thing. But when, you know, she's 32, it's really a different one. And as the older one, it's so easy to get trapped in that dynamic of like older and younger. And therefore, you know, seeing the younger one as just all the assumptions that come with little, right? Less experienced, less knowledgeable, less whatever it is. When in actual fact, like she's incredible. And I know that. Of course. And she's much better at so many things than I am. Right. But just that...

Is it a moniker? Little, right? Like that word. My little daughter. And I think Mr. Delacour, I hope he quickly learns to escape that trap that I myself fell into. Because it actually stops you connecting with the person who now really exists. Yeah, totally. You're stuck in the story of who they were when they were small. Now she's 11. So I feel like that's...

still you know understandable certainly as a parent but pretty soon that's that's going to shift in a way that that's going to be important for him and was important for me to kind of undo that use of the word little which I don't use so much now how about you what does it remind you of in your own life what's sticking out to me is this like and of course you've met Gabrielle right because not everybody has like Harry has maybe Molly and Arthur have and we don't know when but I don't

I think so. It just makes me think of moments where I forget to be fully inclusive for any number of reasons. My 17-year-old just had her boyfriend over to my place. And the only place to play Nintendo in my apartment is from my bed. Hmm.

That's just like the only place that like the TV fits and whatever. And I was like, oh, this is the first time it feels weird. It feels like I did not set up my space to be inclusive of this young man because I was visualizing my kids playing Nintendo and you playing Nintendo with my kids and Mauricio playing and everyone can be comfortable on my bed.

And just like the different ways that we run up against the limits of our own inclusivity that like, I actually have really liked that, you know, the kids have to snuggle with the dog in the bed and get under the covers. And it's been very sweet. And this was the first moment where I was like, hmm, a design flaw. It's a different context. Yeah, yeah. Suddenly it has different, yeah, just different vibes. It's weird that this 17-year-old boy is on my bed. Yeah.

But also like anything, you know, like going over to a friend's house and being like, oh, I have to take off my shoes or, you know, like, I just feel like these introduction moments are so rife with navigating how to be because it's someone else's home and you want to be a good guest. And as a host, you want to be welcoming. So everyone is really trying. And I'm wondering if that little phrase, of course. Yeah.

actually suggests like, oh, we want to be intimate, although we're not actually. And maybe that was wizard FaceTime or whatever. So like maybe they have met online in some way. I do this all the time where I'm like over emphasizing, like, please make yourself at home, like fill your own glass or like whatever to help people feel comfortable, but also kind of to help myself feel comfortable. Right. Right.

There's such an interesting moment in the chapter where the Weasleys and the Delacours fight over who should be in the guest space and who should be in the bedroom. And I was like, it's so interesting because you're both right.

Like, why give up your bedroom? You are busy hosting this huge wedding. Just be in your own bed. Like, you're not going to be comfortable and we're not going to be comfortable. And then also, but your guests, of course, you should have the nicest accommodations. And I was like, ah, like the world is not designed to be comfortable for everyone all the time. Totally.

Well, Vanessa, that brings us to the fourth and final step of Lectio, which is to ask ourselves, is there an invitation in this sentence? Is there an action we want to take or a new way we want to think about something? And the sentence is, one more time, And of course, you have met my little daughter, Gabrielle, said Monsieur Delacroix. Is there something you feel invited to do because of this conversation? I host a bunch in our house. We just had singing night yesterday, and there's nearly always some new people who join, you know, friends of friends.

And I definitely lean into that sense of like, hey, welcome. I'm Casper. I live here. You know, like, you know, bathrooms over there, you know, figure it out. Kind of. I'm very laissez-faire. And I think that's nice with repeated guests. But I'm honestly thinking a little bit about I could do better with

Just to ask a few questions even of someone who's joining, because there's like 20 people. So it's a lot of folks. I'm constantly opening the door. You know, there's a lot of activity and then I'm leading the singing. So it's not like I have a lot of downtime. But I do think to help someone feel welcome, like you want to have just a moment of connection with the person who's the host. I think you should design a whole orientation program. Yeah.

Yeah, exactly. Actually do an intake call. Here's a form to fill out. Let me check your references. No, but just to have a little bit more of a personal welcome. Yeah. Because I think that's fallen off the more comfortable I've gotten. Yeah. And I kind of don't make that effort anymore. And I think I lean too much on the side of informality. So that's, I want to do that a little differently. Yeah. How about you? I feel called to question when I say, of course. Yeah.

I feel like there are times that that is a really useful phrase, but sometimes I think I say it defensively like, oh yeah, of course, of course. Or like covering my tracks like, oh yeah, of course, I thought of that too. It belies something from Mr. Delacour and I feel like it is a phrase that I rely on when it isn't quite what I mean.

And so putting like little asterisks on words is really helpful for me where I'm like, is that the word that I want to use right now? Do I need to put the word just in this sentence? Do I need the word just in this email seven times? Probably not. Right. Like that is how I sharpen my thinking. And so I want to bring some intention around the phrase, of course, because to me,

It might not be obvious. Like, of course you know Casper. What if they don't know Casper? It's filled with assumption, I think. It is. Yeah. I like that. Well, thank you, Vanessa. Thank you, my love. And thank you, Mr. Delacour. Oui, oui. Monsieur Delacour. Work management platforms. Ugh. Endless onboarding. IT bottlenecks. Admin requests. But what if things were different? We found love.

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where we cut through the noise with realistic, expert-backed advice to help you thrive in every category of life while still loving the person that you already are. And part of loving yourself is being really authentic to you, including the clothes you wear.

In partnership with Nordstrom, we're helping you update your spring wardrobe so your style is fit for your best self. Nordstrom brings you the season's most wanted brands like Skims, Mango, Free People, and Princess Polly, all under $100. From trending sneakers to beauty must-haves, we've curated the styles that you'll wear on repeat this spring. Free shipping, free returns, and in-store pickup make it easier than ever.

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Wait, did I say job title yet? Get started today and see how you can avoid the void and reach the right buyers with LinkedIn ads. We'll even give you a $100 credit on your next campaign. Get started at linkedin.com slash results. Terms and conditions apply. It's time for our voicemail and we're hearing this week from Sarah.

Hi, Harry Potter and the Sacred Text team. My name is Sarah. My pronouns are she, her, and I love the podcast and everything you do. I am calling in in regards to the...

episode that you did about the sixth book, the chapter specifically where Harry and Dumbledore go into Dumbledore's memory of Tom as a child. And the moment when Dumbledore is explaining to Tom about how he doesn't know who his parents are. And I'm really just wondering how

and maybe I can pose this as a Havruta question, what would have happened if in that moment Dumbledore had said, you know, some wizards are born very special. They're born without any wizard people in their family at all. And we don't know where they get their magic from. They're just very special.

Because he didn't know who Tom's parents were. He didn't know what their lineage was. I wonder if in Tom Riddle hearing about the wizarding world for the first time, if he had heard about muggle-born wizards and that been posed to him as an extremely special concept, if he...

his perspective about muggle-born wizards would have been different going into his adulthood. I'm curious to know what y'all think about this. Yeah, thank you for all that you do. I mean, I feel like I've come out on this recently. Yes, I think Dumbledore. I mean, obviously, we will never know. And, you know, Voldemort could have been Voldemort for any number of things, etc., etc.,

I just think that Dumbledore really messed up at orienting Voldemort to the Wizarding World. And not only did he not scaffold, hey, it's actually awesome that you're so magical that we don't even know where your magic came from. And instead, lit his stuff on fire and was like, go to London alone. Look at all the power. Yeah, yeah.

I don't not blame Dumbledore. No, I agree. And maybe that's also fueling the rest of his life's kind of fight against, you know, the monster he created in some ways. But I think the word power that you just used is so revealing because it takes us right back to the conversation we were having about Voldemort. And I think in that moment when he's meeting Tom Riddle, what's motivating him is not care, right? Like we saw with Molly. It's obviously not survival because he doesn't experience threat anymore.

But it is that kind of, you know, destruction of death. I know there's that power. There's that arrogance, I think, fair to say, of like, I am such a great wizard. And this is post-Ariana tragedy. So you would hope he would have learned better. Or he's like still upset. Right, right. I mean, who knows what was going on. But the behavior is clearly...

really not helpful for what he ultimately does care about. And so I think, Sarah, you're totally right. And that's a great reflection. Also, Voldemort is an adult and he should take full responsibility for the decisions that he's making. And... And also, it wasn't a great start. It is now time for us to remember members of our community who've been loved and lost.

The 28 amazingly talented young skaters, their parents and their coaches who were aboard the American Airlines flight, which collided with a helicopter over the Potomac. Gina Hahn, 13, and her mother, Jen. Spencer Lane, who was 16, and his mother, Christine. Vadim Nomov. Yenya Shishkova. Franco Aparicio, who was 14, and his father, Luciano.

Everly Livingston, who was 14, and her sister, Alidia, who was 11, and their parents, Donna and Peter. Inna Volyanskaya, Angela Yang and Sean Kay, who were both 11, and their mothers, Lily and Julia. Sasha Kursanov, Olivia Eve Tehr, who was 12, and her mother, Alessia Taylor. Brielle Beyer, who was 12, and her mother, Justina.

Corey Hainos and his parents, and Eddie Zhao, who was 16, and his parents, Yu and Kaiyan. May their memories be a blessing.

Casper, who would you like to bless this week? I would like to bless the ghoul. It's kind of a comic moment that we meet this ghoul who lives in, you know, the attic and they've made him magically appear to have pimples and look like he has spaticroid and he's wearing pajamas and like, ha ha ha ha. And also, what did that ghoul ever do to you? Yes!

Like, does the ghoul want to be there? Is the ghoul assenting to this? I don't know. I just feel suddenly like we've talked about spew. We've talked about, right, like magical creatures. But what about ghoul? Because I don't even know. Are there more ghouls? Is this the only ghoul in the world?

I would because he just doesn't seem to really be enjoying it. So for anyone who is being forced into costume for like a bachelorette party or like, you know, like any situation where you're being made to wear something you don't want to wear. Yes. You know, solidarity with ghoul and a blessing for you. How about you, Vanessa? Who would you like to bless? I am going to bless Ginny Weasley.

She's in love with is in this house and she doesn't get to spend time with him and he's there and then just has to be so hard and he's about to go off and risk his life and there's nothing she can do about it. And I would be dying. So I just want to bless her because we don't see her a lot and how hard this must be for her in this chapter. But this must be really hard. And they get like zero time together. I know. Yeah.

Well, a blessing to all of you as well. Next week, we're reading Book 7, Chapter 7, The Will of Albus Dumbledore through the theme of progress with a very special guest, Hannah Thomas-Uwose. Just a few reminders before we give our thanks. You can always find ad-free episodes on Apple Podcasts and more of our programming on notsorryworks.com. This is a production of the Book 7, Chapter 7, The Will of Albus Dumbledore.

This was a Not Sorry production, a feminist production company, and we are sponsored by the Fetzer Institute. Our executive producer is Vanessa Zoltan. We're edited and produced by AJ Yaramaz, and our music is by Ivan Paizao and Nick Boll, and we're distributed by Acast. Thanks to our fabulous members of Minerma's Book Club, Avril, Amanda C., Amanda S., Amber, Amy, Ashley, Danny, Emile, Esther, Gregoire, Casey, Kelsey, Kriti, Kyle, Marina, Nadia, and Sita. And thanks to Sarah for this week's voicemail.

Thanks also to Ariana Nettleman, Julia Argi, Nikki Zolton, Courtney Brown, Matt Potts, Anissa Ahmed, Danny Langley, and of course, our dear friend and mentor, Stephanie Purcell. We'll be back with you next week. And to you, Casper. We'll be back with you next week. Thank you. Me? You. You know what? I'll take it. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

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We got you. Visit Verizon today. Price guarantee applies to then current base monthly rate. Additional terms and conditions apply for all offers. I'm Josie Santee, health coach, wellness editor, and host of the Every Girl podcast, where we cut through the noise with realistic, expert-backed advice to help you thrive in every category of life while still loving the person that you already are. And part of loving yourself is being really authentic to you, including the clothes you wear.

In partnership with Nordstrom, we're helping you update your spring wardrobe so your style is fit for your best self. Nordstrom brings you the season's most wanted brands like Skims, Mango, Free People, and Princess Polly, all under $100. From trending sneakers to beauty must-haves, we've curated the styles that you'll wear on repeat this spring. Free shipping, free returns, and in-store pickup make it easier than ever. Show

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