SPERM CELLS CAN SMELL? ft. Ester Steinberg
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Did you know that foreign investors are quietly funding lawsuits in American courts through a practice called third-party litigation funding? Shadowy overseas funders are paying to sue American companies in our courts, and they don't pay a dime in U.S. taxes if there is an award or settlement. They profit tax-free from our legal system, while U.S. companies are tied up in court and American families pay the price, to the tune of $5,000 a year. But

But there is a solution. A new proposal before Congress would close this loophole and ensure these foreign investors pay taxes, just like the actual plaintiffs have to.

So,

You just started using LinkedIn Premium. Now what? Well, on your premium company page, you noticed around seven and a half times more page engagement and five times more page views. Well done. And now new clients are messaging you. All because you're using LinkedIn Premium, which helps you get the business growth you want. Think big, small business. Think big. Start your free trial at LinkedIn.com slash premium small business. That's LinkedIn.com slash premium small business.

Welcome to Guys We Fuck, the anti-slut-shaming podcast. Yo, you having sex? I'm Christina Hudson. I'm Corinne Fisher. The slutty boyfriend. Mr. Slutty, you're horny, and you're shaming. Hey, you a slut? Yes. Okay. Let's talk about fucking.

Hello, people of Earth. How are you doing today? Welcome to another exciting, amazing, beautiful, unfolding episode of Guys We Bleeped. It's the Anti-Slut Shaming Podcast. I'm Corinne Fisher. I'm Christina Hutchinson. Welcome to the show. If you want to email us at sorryaboutlastnightshow at gmail.com. And if you are in New York City or going to be in the New York City area on Sunday, May 4th, we have a Corinne Fisher for Mayor benefit for you. That's going to be super fun.

It is a drag show. It is a stand-up comedy show. It features Christina Hutchinson, Emma Willman. The drag performers are going to be Izzy Uncut, Jacqueline Hyde, and Vicky DeVille, who you guys might have seen years ago at Guys We Fest or just know from the show. And then possibly another super special stand-up comedy guest. So stay tuned for that. Tickets are just $30. The link is...

I mean, it's everywhere, but all the bios, but make sure to, you know, get 30, do a $30 contribution per ticket. That is the only way you can get in and you have to do a, you know, via the donation form again. But yeah, just $30 for every ticket you want. Don't put any other amount. I mean, you can put more if you want, but don't put less. You can't come. Thank you.

All right. So this subject line says, I confess my love and then shit during sex. Girl, this is a real Christina special. Not that she would do it. She would just enjoy it. That's relatable. I just want to hear you read the subject line. It's so funny.

Hi there, ladies and Eric. Long time fucker here. I've been listening since 2016 and I have seen you both perform Winnipeg. Sorry, Christina, for those coked up guys. Y'all are so amazing and have helped me through many, many times of dumb bitch syndrome. So here is my little story and a question. Please let me know if y'all think I have a real chance with my or have I literally and metaphorically shit the bed. Yeah.

Okay, so I, female 29, have been head over heels for this woman, female 34, for many years. Let's call her Mai. We have had a casual friends with benefits thing when I was in my early 20s and I used to be a mess. Now I feel like I'm in a place in my life where I no longer am insecure and could be a good partner or at least someone she would want to date.

Anyhow, I had a party a couple months ago and she was at my place. We were pretty flirty throughout the night and then Mai pulls me aside beside her and we were cozy for the remainder of the party. One thing leads to another and we are in my bedroom. I basically pour my heart out to her and Mai seems receptive.

I didn't say I was in love with her or anything, but she's not stupid. She did not outright reject me, but didn't reciprocate my feelings either. Mai said she needed some time to digest the information and we are going to speak again sober in a couple of weeks. Here's the fun part. We had sex a few times and on or about our third round, I had a huge orgasm and I hear her say, I think it's number two. I literally shit in her hands. Oh,

Whoa, you can come so hard, you shit. Whoa.

I kicked Mai off my bed. I'll have what she's having. Oof. I kicked Mai off my bed and told her to get out. I panic for a bit while she washes her hands and then take my turn to clean up. We make our way back to the bedroom all clean and chat some more. We also had sex two more times and she didn't leave my place until 7.30 a.m. That's the perks of dating a woman. A couple weeks pass and we have our chat. Mai gives me a plethora of reasons why she does not want to pursue anything with me. That sucks.

Ah.

All of her reasoning, um, our reasonings are fair and valid, but I was absolutely devastated, crushed, heartbroken. And once again, we fuck all night, but this time wake up in one another's arms. Oh no, don't do that to yourself. Her and I have a slow morning and make love this time, or at least that's how it felt to me. We slow kiss and softly cry with one another. It was incredibly beautiful and terribly sad. Yeah. My and I part ways and I agree to give each other space. And then you play Bonnie rates. I can't make you love me and just cry it all out.

girl. Uh, fast forward three weeks later, I'm in her bed at 2 a.m. on a weeknight. No less. We can't seem to stay away from each other. Here we go again, fucking and talking into the daylight hours. My text me the following day saying this is an unhealthy situation and we cannot see one another anymore. It needs to be strictly platonic and true space must be taken. I thought I was devastated last time. This go around. I'm destroyed. Ugly crying in the pantry type shit.

A month goes by, leading us to last night. Mai asks if I want to come by for cocktails. What?

I do, of course, because she makes me weak. Mai tells me the space helps her reflect and that she was too quick to shut me down. I told Mai I'm not leading anymore. If she wants me, she needs to take action. Now Mai taking me on a date in the coming weeks. I'm doing my best to not get too excited, even though I'm grinning ear to ear. Pictures below, she's the beauty in the front of the sunset. The other two are me. That's her. You're super hot. I could tell in her...

of my she has like a cool vibe. I get that. Oh, there's okay. And there was no question. It was just a just a story about shitting and then going on a date. Yeah, I guess. Good for you. Yeah, you said you had a question up top. But again, I don't read these before I copy and paste them. I just look at the subject line. But I'm concerned. I hope I just protect your heart. I mean,

Obviously, don't be guarded. I think it's a little – maybe dare I say impossible to be guarded around this woman because you have so many feelings for her. But I feel like – and you said your mental health is not in a great place, which leads me to go to ask you like is it like a childhood trauma thing that's unresolved? Because when – a lot of times when that's the case, you're just searching for a good feeling wherever it leads you and whoever it's from. And so maybe like I used to treat boys like drugs –

for most of my life. But I'm real, like I realized that it's just because the feeling they gave me, I didn't want them. I wanted the feeling they gave me. And then I realized, oh, I'm misaligned. Oh, I got to do work on myself. Oh no, my childhood was bad. So that was a whole journey. But yeah, I think putting all your eggs in my basket is just, you know, I want you to protect your heart. It's like it might be a recipe for disaster, but who knows? Maybe she'll turn around. Maybe act like more, I could take it or leave it.

Obviously, that's not genuine to how you really feel, but if you're too thirsty, she's going to go. Yeah, I mean, it sounds like a lot of like, you know, heterosexual relationships where the guy is like, let's spend all of our time together, but I don't want anything serious. Yeah, she's being a real man in the relationship. All right. And then when you pull back, she's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. So also just make sure to like she doesn't just maybe she loves being adored.

by you. I'm sure that's a great feeling. Nobody hates being adored, but just make sure you protect your heart.

And another place to protect your heart, well, or to get more in tune with your heart is on my show Without a Country. We live stream 9 p.m. Eastern every Wednesday on YouTube. And you're going to get to know what's going on in the country. Well, this country, what's going on in other countries, what's going on in the world, and what's going on in local politics in New York City. So it's just really the full spectrum, guys. You can also join my Patreon if you want an additional exclusive video.

news story every week. I haven't really been promoting that a lot because I've been asking you guys for money for the campaign. But yeah, it's a great way to, I think, keep abreast of what's going on in the country, but then hosted by someone who you know and you hopefully trust. But yeah, it's a good time. I like it. I love doing that show. Hell yeah. And then...

Yeah, I have a Patreon too where once a week we do group share-a-pee over Zoom. It's kind of like group therapy except no one involved is a licensed therapist. Actually, some people are, but not me.

And yeah, the audio of that conversation lives on Patreon only and it's really nice. I don't know how much longer I'm going to be doing this. So you could sign up. The cheapest level is only five bucks a month. So I think I'm going to give it till the summer. I don't know. We'll see. We'll see. But it's a really great space. It's not because the space isn't great. And we get into deep and introspective conversations that kind of move – they move the needle for me. So I can't imagine what they do for members. So I hope they help. And patreon.com slash Christina Hutchinson. That's where you go to get the free stuff.

After you've donated to Curren's campaign. Okay? Love ya. And then after you're doing that... Oh, God. Please come over to my link tree on my Instagram bio. I'll be in Phoenix. Come over to my link tree with your cell? Come on over to my link tree. I don't know. That's where you can find all the shows. That's my cell. I figure it's easier than being like...

You've got to work on this. Then telling them, oh, you go to the House of Comedy for your respected city. No, just tell them what are the cities and what are the dates. Phoenix, Vancouver. Phoenix, Vancouver. You're reading an entire email about shitting. I know. I had them pulled up for a second. You're not going that many places. How do you just not know this off the top of your head? It's Phoenix, Minnesota, Minneapolis. It's called Georgia.

Vancouver, Edmonton. That's where I'm going. Yeah. Okay. So all those in the near future. Yes. In the near future. I don't know when this is coming out. Oh, this is coming out this Friday. Okay. Well then come see me in Vancouver May 1st through 4th. Yeah. Yeah. It'll be out by then. Cool. It's the most important thing. How's your liver?

My liver? Yeah. It's significantly better than the last time we spoke about it. That's great. Thanks for asking. I appreciate it. I'm concerned that you always have a bodily ailment, and you're the youngest person in this room. By a lot. By a lot. By a landslide. But you have more bodily ailments. I think I just— Corinne would have had you beat a couple years ago, but that's—yeah, no. You win. Yeah. And by that, I mean you kind of lose the body a lot. Yeah. You got a good face. That's good. See if I can catch up in that.

to make up for in the last three years of my 20s. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just a healthy diet of smoothies and Popeyes. What was that chain we went to? You're like, oh, I would eat there. And we're like, what? You wanted organic lettuce. Oh. What was it?

I don't remember. I forget because you're like, oh, no, it's Kadova. Oh, yeah. Is it Kadova? Kadova. It's great. It is great. It is great. How are you doing, Karim? I'm good, yeah. I don't really have anything new to share. Just keeping doing the same stuff. Doing the damn thing. I see you have a sunflower journal out, though. Oh, this is yours. Well, I mean, this is the campaign idea. Oh, I thought you were going to share something with it. No, no, no. I just had this for after we're done recording so I can talk to you. Oh, I see. I see. I thought you were going to. The videos we're about to shoot.

I thought you were going to read from your sunflower journal and I thought something you were going to really drop something. I love trees because they smile kindness. Yeah. And hearts bloom and blossom. Yeah. It doesn't have to be spring. Yeah. No. Yeah. Pretty much. That's what I thought was going to go down. So now I'm kind of disappointed. No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. No, I'm just, you know, beaming post mushroom trip and doing good. And was it at the lady's house? Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, okay. Because you said mattress on the floor and I was like, what's this at this lady's house? Yeah, when I slept, I slept in the bed in a spare bedroom. But yeah, no, it was at her house. But yeah, because you kind of don't want to be – you want to be in a living room so she could chill and do whatever she's going to do. She like had dinner at some point in the middle of it. Really? Yeah. What a fascinating – Hey, Corinne, girls got to eat.

What a fascinating occupation. Yeah. Is this her full-time job? It is now. Yeah. She studied to, yeah, she studied for it. She apprenticed, I guess, to something. I mean, I feel like it would be cool. I mean, I imagine it could be fucking boring. Yeah.

And I would only want to do it with like interesting trips, which you can't fucking tell unless the person is, you know, as they're going through it. But I do think psychedelics are when treated with respect and research and, you know, complimented by regular good nutrition. It can be such a transformative experience. Just really fascinating.

floss for your brain floss beer mostly the negative thought patterns are really nice to kind of and one thing i noticed when i was um oh i didn't share this on the bonus episode um if you want to be a luminary subscriber i talk all about the journey on the bonus episode but um one interesting thing that happened um the day after the trip and then the next day i had two interactions with strangers like kind of back to back that were just i don't know they stood out to me as like

like I was, you ever like have an interaction with a stranger? It's very New York. And you're like, am I being filmed? Like, is this person a paid actor? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, for sure. Um, so on my way back, uh, from upstate New York, uh, I stopped at a rest stop. I wanted to get a coffee and, uh, and let Kevin out to pee. And the, the, it was Sunday. It was Sunday.

No, it was Saturday before Easter. So it was like the fucking rest stop parking lot was madhouse. It was like Costco on a Sunday afternoon in the suburb. I was like, Jesus. So I was waiting for all these cars, like a car to back out. And as I was waiting, another car backed into my car. And, you know, you, you know, usually I'm like, oh, let's go, baby. Let's go. Let's fucking go. If you do that, if you catch me outside in New York, oh, let's go. I'll take off. I get out in the middle of Fifth Avenue. I don't give a fuck.

But I had that like, well, okay. Like, you know, spring into action energy, but it wasn't like combative at all, which is nice. But I was like, you just ran into my car. Can I get your info? And the woman, and I looked upon further examination. I have like a plastic part of my car. That's a bumper that like I could have licked the scrape off. So it was fine. Her car was a little fucked, but it was this woman. Like I got kind of my mom's age and,

My, my melted when she got out of the car, she goes, I'm so sorry. I just had three back surgeries and this is my first trip out. I'm going to see my mother for Easter. She was dressed really nice. And I'm like, Oh my, I melted. I melted. I'm like, girl, it's okay. She goes, here's my license. I'm like, don't, don't, don't worry about it. Oh my God. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. And we had like a nice little moment, but for some reason, like she just got me in my heartstrings. Um, and I just, I'm like, Oh, I like gave her a hug. I'm like, it's okay. I hope you feel better.

And then the next day, this guy, I was at the deli by my house and this guy came up to me and was at here. He initially had asked me to buy him a sandwich. And, uh, I, I did my default in New York. Like, I'm sorry, I don't have any cash on me, man. Like, that's just my default. And then I'm like,

One, yes, you do, Christina. And two, he just asked you to buy a sandwich. Buy him a fucking sandwich. What? And I noticed he didn't have a hand on one of his arms, and he was trying to get stuff. And I was like, you get anything you want. You get anything you want. And I had this similar connection to him of like, I fucking love you, man. Do you need to shower? Do you want to use my place to shower? Like, I just...

Oh my god. My heart feels just very raw. But people have been putting my path for the last three days. Yeah. There's like an incident and like the old me would have been like, fucking get out of here or whatever. Would you fucking hit my car? And the new me is like, love and light, baby. Yeah.

Well, hope it lasts. Yeah, it probably won't. But yeah, that's when you do it. You do it twice a year. You keep doing it until it lasts. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So when you were doing it, were you just in like a bedroom and she was just like bumping around the house like making dinner and doing it? So during the trip, she set up like a little mattress on the floor for me so that she can like sit in the couch and she's like, you know,

I'll talk to you or don't. Yeah, in the living room, which made sense for how it was structured. I didn't want to chat. It turns out I didn't want to chat during the journey, which is fine. That is what it is. You don't really know until you get there. I just thought you were locked in a bedroom with a mattress on the floor. That sounds terrible. It sounds like I'm getting kidnapped. Yeah, that doesn't sound great. No, it was a beautiful house. She had two dogs that were amazing, and my dog was there, so it was really cool.

And then at one point our dog started barking. All the dogs started barking at something in the house. And I'm like, ooh, is it a fucking spirit? Am I a medium? I don't know what it was. It could have been a bug. No medium powers yet. But that was, if I'm being honest, one of the main goals of the session.

We'll see. Oh, wait, is that like, is there supposed to be research that doing, you can unlock stuff that you can unlock your psychic powers? Yeah. So whatever powers. Yeah. So like, um, you know, everybody has like some type of some metaphysical something skillset. Uh, everybody has different special, like different things that they're like closer to actually being able to do. Uh, I think one of the clues is like, if you have a really high interest in it, usually that means you have, you have an ability to do it. Um,

But and so doing psychedelics can like if that's your intention, you have to like it's all like intention setting and, you know, but also not clinging like, hey, this would be cool. But also whatever I need to know, just let me let me Adam. Yeah. Let me Adam. So it's really cool. I highly recommend researching and looking into it. If you have PTSD, it's really good for that. You know, it's also really good for you. Today's guest. Goddamn right, Corinne. Today's fucking guest.

She's a stand-up comedian. She's so fucking funny. It was such a joy to sit down with her. Her latest stand-up special, Schmier Campaign, is now available on Amazon Prime. You can watch it, and I highly recommend you do. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the show... Esther Steinberg!

We are here with stand-up comedian Esther Steinberg. So happy to have you. Thank you for having me. This is so special. It's so special to have you here. I love your energy. You've got great vibes. I walked right into the wrong building and was like, I'm here for Guys We Fucked. Which building? Ripley Greer Studios. And I was like, I know, I was so insanely confident. And I was like, how?

Okay. I was so, I don't know. And then the security guard was like just thrown off by all of my, all of my women. Everything that you said. What did I just say? That's so funny. With those pants. What is this woman? And then I was like, oh, okay, I'll go to the other building. That's really funny. Less phased. That's really funny. At least it was a place that it kind of made sense that you might be there for that. Yeah. I know. I did like a theater thing there maybe 12 years ago. So I was like, I'm home.

That's your callback. Back to my black box roots. Yes. It cost $12.50 to rent this space, and I have. Oh, Ripley Greer, shout out. Yeah. Oh, the days. Those were fun. You live in Vegas. That's such a weird place. It's so weird.

Do you live outside? But let me tell you that rent is cheap. Really? Well, I live outside. Like, there's the strip. And when people come to town, they're like, hey, meet me at Cosmo. And I'm like, I will. I will. Because I don't have friends here. But I want you to know that you've just asked me to meet you at the M&M store in Times Square. Just so you're aware. Right. So it's a little hack. Cosmo.

Kind of respect you a little less, but kind of like you're going to put me through a nightmare of tourists to hang out with you. And I will if you're special enough. But like, it's horrendous for a local to be like, I guess I'm at the Cosmo. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I guess that's cool stuff. Like there's a lot of great artists, prostitutes, abortion bars, but also Meow Cat. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

And it's like me and some other elderly women named Esther and we're just like dancing to Fleetwood Mac. And it was not like lit. It needed more people. Yeah. Yeah. Vegas didn't, that wasn't like a draw for everyone in Vegas, but I had like had it on my calendar. I was like Fleetwood, Fleetwood Mac would rage. And I was like ready to go. And no one else was. Well,

Well, there's just so many entertainment options in Vegas. I feel like it must be hard to get people to go to your thing. Cirque du Soleil, Blue Man Group. Yeah. There's a lot of cool shit there. Yeah. The Sphere. The Sphere. Dude, I want to go to that so bad. I was on a flight with all deadheads and I was looking at them like, you guys are rich. Like, I know you're wearing tie-dye. Yeah.

But you flew your... Our deadheads are rich. You flew... You, wearing tie-dye, on acid, flew yourself to Vegas, stayed in a hotel, and got, like, $900 tickets to go see your, like... Like, whatever they're doing to have, like, a very good trip. I don't know. I mean, you have to have a lot of money to...

And it's funny because they're just like, we're on drugs wearing tie dye. And it's like, you're one of you. You're rich. You're rich. I smell it. Yeah, that is. That's quite the journey. You know that feeling when you're so lost in a romance novel that

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Did you know that foreign investors are quietly funding lawsuits in American courts through a practice called third-party litigation funding? Shadowy overseas funders are paying to sue American companies in our courts, and they don't pay a dime in U.S. taxes if there is an award or settlement. They profit tax-free from our legal system, while U.S. companies are tied up in court and American families pay the price to the tune of $5,000 a year. But

But there is a solution. A new proposal before Congress would close this loophole and ensure these foreign investors pay taxes, just like the actual plaintiffs have to.

So...

You just started using LinkedIn Premium. Now what? Well, on your premium company page, you noticed around seven and a half times more page engagement and five times more page views. Well done. And now new clients are messaging you. All because you're using LinkedIn Premium, which helps you get the business growth you want. Think big, small business. Think big. Start your free trial at LinkedIn.com slash premium small business. That's LinkedIn.com slash premium small business.

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I mean, some people just invest all their money into music. There are people who just follow their band around, and that's the whole thing. That's the life. I don't know. It's kind of fun. I'm really into fandom, so I think that's pretty cool. I know a girl who does Father Misty. I don't know if you've heard of her.

I'm not. Oh, wow. Follows him around. Really? Wow. Yeah. That's like a weird one. That is an interesting one. I get like there's Grateful Dead. The Eagles came to the sphere and that was big because like 80 and up. Everyone was 80 and up. And they were like bald being like, take it easy. That's like the rock out. But I was saying that Vegas has weird politics. Interesting, weird politics.

Yeah. Like 50-50. Because you can get an abortion and then you also can have a gun. So you can go into the Planned Parenthood with like a loaded shotgun. And get a prostitute. Who's taking care of this? Me or you? Well, prostitution is legal, I think, in Nevada. But then it's so weird. It's like specifically Carson County, like actual Las Vegas. It's illegal. Yeah. Like right outside it's not. But people like you.

see sex workers and you're like oh okay. Yeah. And then you go to the I've been to the strip club for like Skank Fest and I was like oh okay. Yeah. There you are. It's underwhelming. I don't know. I guess I was I thought I don't know. I have like an idea that a strip club is supposed to be like more of a performance. Strip clubs are amazing. I gotta see the worst strip clubs I've ever been in my life were in Las Vegas. Well it was also the knockoff. There's the Peppermint Hippo and the Rhino Spearmint. Spearmint Rhino is the good one and I ended up at the

Peppermint Hip Hop. Oh, I think when we hosted that night, was that Peppermint? I think it was Peppermint. It was terrible. It was awful. The girls were... I'm sure it was the... I want to see a show. I want stacked on top poles. I want... Go to New York strip clubs. They're pretty cool. They're pretty lit. Oh, okay. They're pretty lit. Not every single one, but a lot of them are pretty cool. I mean, and then there's Magic Mike is great. Magic Mike is fun. Ooh. You saw that? Many times. Were you turned on? Many times. I feel like I would like

I only like the gay dancers. I like specific guys. And like when a guy that I'm not attracted to comes near me and is like, yeah, like, oh, no. Yeah. And there's a safety word used like unicorn. Oh,

Oh, and they just scurry away if you say it? Yeah. I would feel so rude saying that. I wouldn't. Unicorn. Yeah, this is like your moment. Really? Yeah, because it's like they're performing. Like if it was a guy in real life, yeah, I'd slap him with my hand. But like to someone, like this is his performance. He's being vulnerable. I would just let him kind of do it. Yeah.

Because it's not, I mean, it's not like they're not having sex with you. Yeah, I think my first time I was like, well, it's his, you know, I'll just, and then I was like, no, this is the my moment to assert my power to say, get off of me instead in like a very safe environment where I'm paying. They just hop on you without asking?

Oh, I would say unicorn to everyone. I don't want anyone on me. I want to see you for like an hour. I want to watch you and then I want you to like come over. Like I'll do that. Me, you, yes. Us. But I've seen women like...

sit on me. Like they want it so bad. And I will watch them and say, yeah, for them. Yeah. Yeah. So if you say unicorn, he's off to like, yeah. Yeah. To miss Humper. I agree. It's like, yeah.

Yeah. I would agree with that. I don't need, yeah. Cause also like, I just like for that, I'm, I can't, they're not picking you there. You're paid to do it. So it just means nothing. There's one guy that I think strip clubs don't work on women for a reason. Cause we know that everyone's getting paid. Yes. We need hope. Right. I need to know that he's interested in and be like, Hmm,

he likes me, but like, that's not, he doesn't. Also in a strip club, they're treating women too nicely. Women, if there was a strip club where they treated you badly, women would be fucking paying hundreds of dollars. Be like, actually, he's going to sit across the room and ignore you. That's where women would really thrive. Yeah. They start scheming and planning. You're like, no, I'm sure he likes me.

So you've been to a couple of Magic Mike shows that you've liked. You have been attractions. I mean, it's all good shows. And the best part is there's like a plant where they're like, all right, who wants? And then this like stunning woman with like the longest hair and like the most like the thick muscular butt and thighs gets in.

And she's shy at first. And then all of a sudden, like, water comes down. And you're like, she's a professional dancer. And she starts whipping her hair in water. And they, like, slide on this, like, water bed until they're, like, thrusting in water. What the what? And there's, like, probably Sade playing because it's, like, designed for a woman. Like a woman that listens to, like, the Lila radio show. And you're like, she's, like, whipping her hair. And it's super sexy. And then they do tons of, like, acrobatics. They're, like, in the air. Wow.

boobies flying. Boobies? Wow. I don't know. Well, you don't see them, but they're like, she's so wet. Yeah, right. And then, but it's like, it's like watching the notebook. It's like everything a woman would want. It's like rain, make out. Like it's,

It's not like this is what guys want. Yeah. Like shake your butt. And women are like, I want like a romantic rainy day. I want thunder. Yeah. They're like, wow. Wow. I love it. I love that the sexiest part of the Magic Mike show is when the girl comes on. Yeah. Seriously. And pretends to be innocent. Pretends like, oh, should I go with?

with my friends scary yeah yeah yeah yeah i like a night the idea of like a sexual awakening it starts from like this innocent girl she's lost yeah and now her hair is wet wow that sounds i would love to be that girl in the magic mike show what a fun fucking time i do it for free but it's every night i do it for free that sounds so wet soaking wet cool and you have to go to the sahara

Cool. Oh, that's a casino. No, I just feel like it's a time commitment because like there are female comedians that host. Really? But they're calm. I don't like the hosting because they're I guess it's a little too much like ladies. Don't you want a man who can dance, who can do this? And I'm just like.

Oh, no. They should get like a real female comic to host it. No, they do. They do. They do. But there's a script. There's a script. Oh, okay. Okay. That sucks. It's like when we went to Vegas for the porn awards. Matt Rife was hosting. Okay. But you could tell like – you could tell he wasn't allowed to say the things he wanted to say. I'm like, ah, you're not letting him fly. Let him fly free. Let him make – but he had a lot of restrictions. I'm like, come on. For the first time? For the porn awards? For the first time. He's like, maybe I shouldn't say this.

Well, I think for the AVNs, you know, that they didn't want someone who was going to like disrespect the art form basically. Yeah. So they got someone with like nice DSL. Yeah. Well, every, you know, every profession is hyper sensitive about anyone making fun of that profession. I mean, we comedians do it too. We're like, oh, we're, we're truth tellers and we're philosophers. Are we? I think we're a bunch of drunk people.

For the most part. Who date children. Yeah. The other day, I must have been at Skank Fest. One comedian showed me a picture of his newborn baby daughter. And I had to be like, she's way too young for you. I thought you were going to say he showed me a picture of his dick. But nope. No, daughter. And I'm still in the bit. I will always. I don't care if you're happily married with kids. She's too young. Yeah.

I've lumped you all, even you guys. That's so funny. So do you like living in Vegas? I do because it feels like a good home base. I have two children, so I need to like- You have two kids. I need to get in a car. Yeah. And I need to go grocery shopping. Those groceries have to get in the trunk. Right. Then I need a garage to open up when I get home. Right. And then I need a scream. Something.

Someone needs help with the groceries. Wow. I need that or I'll die. Wow. I cannot. I used to walk with like Trader Joe's biceps. Yeah. And lift and walk in the snow. And I can't anymore. Yeah. I've lost that. How many, how old are your kids?

Two and four. Oh, wow. They're about to be three and five. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. I recommend- Rambunctious ages. I recommend not having babies and just getting as quickly as you can to like them talking. And I wish you could kind of- I don't like newborns. I don't like little-

I don't like newborns. No, not at all. They're fragile. So many women are like, I miss a newborn. Like I want to have another kid because I miss the feeling of a newborn. No, no. My mom said the same thing. She was like, she goes, newborns are kind of like boring. They don't do anything. They're boring. They cry and you're interpreting their cries. Oh no, she's cold. I mean hungry. No, she's not hungry. She's tired.

Yeah. She was like, when I talk to you, it's really cool. Yeah. My son, his name is Nathan. He goes, my name is Raphael and I'm a doggy. And I'm like, all right. Wow. He's a dog. I love when they're at that age where they just make up facts and you're like, that's fucking great. Now they go, no, it's not. I'll be like, blah, blah. And, and because we have to pay taxes. No, we don't. He's not wrong. Well, he'll talk back. Anything I say, sky's blue. No, it's not.

And I'm like, he's a contrarian. Yeah. Nice. Everything. I'm wrong. I don't know. And I don't know anything. And that's your, your older kid is four or is the boy almost five. Yeah. Moses. And then do you have a daughter? No. Oh, okay. I thought I, when I was pregnant, I was like, and now is my girl. And it's like, psych. Like it's not a girl you can't pick unless you spend a lot of money.

Elon Musk picked to have the trans daughter that he has. He paid – this is one of my favorite facts. He paid money to make that child in utero a boy. And then the boy was born and then the boy was like, no, I'm a trans woman. I'm like, suck it, Elon. Hilarious. Money can't buy you anything. In utero? Yeah. So they had the – you can pay for the gender of your baby to be a certain gender. Yes. Which is fucked up.

But it's crazy. It's very strange. They say that this, but aside from science, they say that the sperm selects like the sperm is the gender. And actually the egg won't open up until it's the right sperm. So people and sperms have like the scent. Sperms can smell. Really? Into the egg. That's what they do. They smell into the egg. And then people are like, oh, the fastest sperm. And it's like, yeah, the fastest sperm gets there, but only if the egg is happy.

Right. And then you miscarry all the time because that's your body's natural way of saying like, hey, your body, this kid's fucked up. We don't want it. I miscarried in between the two and I was like, we didn't want that. Like my body knew it. Right. Fascinating. Yeah. Your body does genetic testing before the doctor. Interesting. And then the doctors come in. Yeah. That's a good way to look at it. I feel like, you know, a lot more logical perhaps. Yeah. A woman's body. Yeah. It's amazing. Yeah.

So when you found out, did you find out the gender of your baby before it was born? Oh, yeah. Okay. As soon as I could. You were bummed with the second one? The first one, I was thrilled it was a boy because I grew up with two sisters. My husband has two sisters. We are locked and loaded with girls everywhere. And I was like, this would be interesting to bring in.

new energy. Yeah. And I am interested in raising the next generation of men. Yeah. So now I've got two of them and I'm very in tune when, when things are like, yeah, when things are like, Oh, women's rights. I'm like, okay, okay, okay.

What, where can we make men better? How can we make men better? We've obviously what's done is done. Yeah. And it happened. But I have the opportunity and they are blank slates. Yeah. And I was listening to like the book. I was listening to like the newest Malcolm Gladwell book on tape and he's talking about college and rape and he emphasized, I always just thought these are horrible people.

Hooray, right? That's it. End of story. And his whole thing was that a lot of these college kids that are guilty of rape were also really, really, really drunk.

And so they didn't make the decisions they would have made. So when we teach our boys, don't rape, don't rape, it's also, hey, don't drink. You make really bad decisions when you drink. And I was like, oh, interesting. Because we can drill it into everyone. Don't do this and don't do this. And I would hope that no matter how drunk a man is, he knows not to do that. You would hope. But also...

How stupid are people that if they have alcohol, they make really poor decisions? Right. They're only one drink away from raping. I guess so. I mean, I try to make this bit work on stage where I'm like, I think every man, if he knew he couldn't get caught, would rape a passed out woman. If he knew he couldn't get caught, and then I'm like, I know every woman would gladly kill at least one man with a smile on her face. Probably the former because of the latter. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, no, I do think...

Yeah. There's got to be a woman out there that kind of wants the fantasy of like, Oh yeah. I'm all passed out. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's common. That's common. I think. And I like that takes place in porn. Right. You don't always see like the pre porn discussion, which is very vital part of that video. Yeah. Very vital part. Yeah. It's not a fun part to jerk off to though. No, no. That's the problem with that. I know. I only want to see the, the like coordinator. Yeah.

Talk to them. Yeah. Right. So she's going to lie down. Yeah. Is there an intimacy? Yeah. Yeah, probably. And a fluffer. There's a whole crew. I think it depends on the budget just like anything. Sometimes they just might talk amongst themselves if they've worked together before, I'm guessing. Yeah. It's like comedy. It's all just going straight to YouTube, self-produced. Yeah. Yeah. Because a lot of these actors know each other ahead of time. Do you have –

like, have you noticed, I imagine the answer is very obviously yes, but I'm curious your specific experience of like noticing fluctuations in your own sex life before, after kids, I imagine it's like night and day. Do you think about sex? Do you like want it? Do you, what is your relationship to it now? This is good. I, I think for a while it was like, I'm not interested at all. And I'll let you know when I am. And then we'll have, I don't

know what it is. I don't think it's a date night. I really think it's timing. It's like, don't come at me at bedtime. That's ridiculous. It's time to sleep. I'm so, so very spent. Once the sun goes down, I don't understand how people have sex at night. I'm so very exhausted. But if you can get me in an afternoon, so it's like, oh, we had a good run when kids go to school and we're like, ooh.

Yeah. Yeah. But I think I don't know. It's like it's like a roller coaster where I'm like, it is also my my cycle. Yeah. Literally horny at certain points. Feeling good. Yeah. Yeah.

really don't want to be touched it's like a week and a half out of the month yes super horny fuck me or i'll be mad at you yes and then the rest of the time is like don't fucking touch me yeah no you're not here for that that's not why and is your partner supportive very nice nice and i i find myself i'm trying to put i'm trying to get it started

But I, yeah, I like the idea when you're like really married. There's like, we don't do this, but like there's a candle and you light the candle when you want to suck someone's dick or whatever it is.

You know, marriage. To let them know because you're literally talking about like, did you get the tax return? Blah, blah, blah. No, we don't have any more hummus. Yeah. Okay. Do you want to have sex? That's a horrible transition. So how do you go from talking about like, do we have enough hummus? Did you take the trash out? Why is my sock? I can't find the other one. Have you seen it? It's like the questions that come up on like day to day. The kid has a diarrhea and a rash. Oh, shit. How do we transition? Yeah. I don't know. But I...

I turn on, I think he knows, I will turn on like Sade. Like there's a music. And I'm like, I don't even want this song. But like, I know that this is going to send the right message. Right. And I had sex in a hoodie the other night. And I was like, that's a flex. And I didn't want it. I was cold. That would be good though. I was cold. And I said, he's like, keep it on. I don't. And I was like, that's right. Yeah. A lot of ladies are spending a lot of money on furry heels, sexy lingerie, striped

strapping their boobs into an uncomfortable bra for what? Wear a hoodie. Yeah. A hoodie and Crocs will get it done. And pull the strings so that only your eyes show and then act like an alien and see if he does anything differently. Yeah. That's so funny. And then at the end you're just like, no, you can just jizz all over it. It's fine. It's a hoodie. Yeah.

But now I don't want another baby. You do not. I'll die. Yeah. At one point you thought you wanted three? No, never. I didn't want any kids. And then on my wedding night, I was like – like wedding weekend, I was like horny on love. I was just like, we're in love and we're going to get married and you can come inside of me. And he did and I got pregnant. Oh, my gosh.

First time. Wait, you. Sex works. The first time someone jizzed in my vajay. First time ever? I had probably in my lifetime just as a precaution taken plan B. Yeah. Like it's, but like, because I am allergic to this loser that may or may not have come inside me. And so I'm just going to take a plan B. Yeah.

I'm wondering if it's still over the counter or not. It is here. Yeah. Yeah. So wait, did you not talk about having kids before? We talked about it as like a fantasy of like, you would like, I love you. I love you too. You'd be such a good dad. Like, yeah. Like that hurricane of love. I totally get it. Like when like love hits you and like, it makes you so stupid that you're like, ah, you're a dad of my child. Yeah. Your love does make you dumb. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

You're like high off of that. Come inside me. I love you. Yeah. It's like very weird. And then, and then it did and it did happen. And now I feel really lucky because I'm like, oh, I like this kid a lot. And then the other kid and I have a chance on like raising the next generation of men. And I'm also like my entire feed for Instagram is like,

Do not let your kids have sleepovers. What? Do not let your kids have sleepovers. So I heard this. Sleepovers are... Favorite part of my childhood. I heard this really recently. Can you explain this? Because sleepovers also really important and fun part of my childhood. And only the kids who were like weird were not allowed to sleep over. I liked sleepovers. But the whole point is that like...

officials, people who deal with pedophiles, basically like the SVU people, but real life. Yeah. They are like, Hey, everything's happening during a sleepover. What, what do they mean? Like adults getting involved or kids sexually experimenting? Everything.

You don't know what older siblings are there and what older siblings may have done at another sleepover or what uncles or aunts or cousins. It's too much liability. People are coming into that house you do not know. And if it's a sleepover, you just have no way of protecting your child from...

So what could happen, like in theory, is there's an innocent kid who gets touched by their person. Now they're touching the younger brother's friend who's coming over. Yeah. Oh, someone told me to do this with a penis. Of course, yeah. You should do it with a penis. Right. And so you get...

I mean, you just tell your kid, like, I would imagine when you educate your kid on, hey, sometimes adults and other children will touch your privates in a very bad way. That'll make you feel icky. That's the time to come to me because we're going to figure it out.

Right? I would hope that conversation. You would want to get to it before the touching happened. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. Exactly. And then I would feel confident throwing my kid to a sleepover because I'm like, hey, just know these things can happen. Yes. And we'll figure them out together. And I repeatedly tell my, like, he's only four. And I'm like, your privates are for you and mommy and daddy and that's it. To wipe your butt. That's it. Or a teacher. Or if your grandparent is here. Right. You still have to, like, wipe their butt. How long do you have to wipe their butt for? 27 years.

old. How long do you have to wipe their butt? I forget when I started wiping my own ass. I feel like it wasn't good. Four or five. You can wipe your own ass. Did you do a thorough job is the question. Yeah. And then your underwear is just track marks. Yeah, exactly. And like it's the amount it's so much poop is involved. Yeah. Yeah.

In motherhood. It's so weird. So you wipe both your kids' butts. Yeah. They have to because they're not good. Because it won't be done well. But I'll say like you wipe it and then I'll check. I mean, it's so gross. Yeah. I mean...

I mean, it's not whatever the opposite of gross is delicious. Like it's not like so gross. So when you tell your, your oldest little guy is potty training and he's P's standing up cause my husband P's standing up. So then the four year old standing up, he's bad at it. So then he's spraying the walls of the bathroom with his piss. So now I'm holding his penis into the toilet.

Right. And I'm like, all right, this is what we're doing. Yeah. It's better than changing a diaper. Sure. But we're like only pseudo potty trained because he's not tall enough. So he's on his tippy toes or on a step stool trying to pee into a toilet. Most kids his age sit and pee. Right. But he's like, that's for pussies. And they have that little bar.

Like he won't accept sitting. Yeah, he's nuts. When you say to him like, hey, your private parts are for you and like mommy and daddy when we wipe your butt, like that's totally cool. Does he take that in? Does he ask questions? I'm curious. What is a foreword? He like pulls his pants down and wiggles his penis and goes, booty, booty, butthole, farts. And I'm like, I'm so glad that this – that you understand. Never change. It's just beyond their comprehension. Yeah, of course. Of course. Yeah. It's like –

So do you send them to sleepovers? Forrest's kind of young. Well, I will never. Really? Because the internet's wrecked my brain. Damn. I am even people like us. But we were all sleepovers. I know. And horrible things. Some of us did get touched. Yeah. But I didn't get the heads up. So I didn't know that it was bad. Yeah. No, I mean, I agree with you. I think it's like I was definitely in places where like people were like not maybe great parents, but I just had the wherewithal because I was already trained and like to not like, you know, I knew when stuff was fucked up since I was like six.

You had a good mom. I had good parents. I feel like I know that about you. You have very good parents. But you and your husband... We're good parents. Yeah, so you know you're good parents. So then I think that you should be able to... She's warded off molesters. I've also seen...

talk them out of them. I just, I just also worry because like kids who are like overprotected are fucking the worst. Yes. Right. Yes. You don't want your kids to be the worst. They're fragile. They're fragile. Yeah. And they're not prepared for the world. Or they're saying now that you think your kid is safe and there's like a new TV show. I won't watch the adolescent. Oh, I've heard. I don't,

Can I get the cliff notes? I gotta watch that. I don't even want to watch it. It's a scripted show. Oh, yes. But apparently it's about like, Oh, I started watching it and then everyone had accents and I was like, I can't. It was like two. It was two. It was like the kind where you have to, where you're like, you need subtitles.

just so intent and everyone's whispering because they're like British or something like whales or something. I was just and I go, we hate that in America. Scream loudly your catchphrase. I go, you're getting molested. Yeah. No.

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Apparently, the whole thing, the things I get on Instagram are basically...

what's happening in the world is you think your kid is safe because he's at home and you're, you're protective. Your daughter, your son is safe. He's at home. He's safe. And instead they're going online and someone is asking for naughty pictures, sending them money, sending this, sending that, and they're being exploited and the pedophiles are on the internet and then they're scared of pedophiles. They're not taking their kids to the park or letting them do independent. That sucks. So what, what I believe is that I want to tell my kids, go to the mall,

and the movies with your friends go around go yeah when they're 18 I don't know if the malls will be a thing I don't know but I want that yeah yeah and I'm like go to the movies go to the mall go to the park do not go on the internet yes I think that is the most dangerous place

For your psyche, for your well-being. It was for us too. We were all in fucking AOL chat rooms. I was 15 saying I was 18. I was the manager of a Pier 1 imports getting proposed to. I'm 39. I haven't done any of these things. Wait, that was your alter ego? Yeah. My dream when I always loved Pier 1. Press 555 if you want to see a hot picture of me and it was like a model with a...

sunflower hat or something. You could just take a sunflower. I already had like an image, like a cat fish. I guess that was me at like eight or nine. Yeah. I think we were actually all just like 12 year olds talking to each other. I don't think anyone was an adult in the chat rooms. They were in my head. Yeah. We were the experiment and like, it was not crazy because I don't know.

Well, social media is a – Because it's so new. Yeah. And social media, you have your own inbox very easily, you know? And so it's like – People will block the kids' faces. Yeah. And that is a choice. Yeah. Yeah.

Pro or con for you? Are you pro or against blocking the kid's face? I just am like, that's daunting. If I don't want to post a pic... First of all, I'm not posting bathtub pictures of them where they look super hot. Yeah, that's my thing. I'm like, just don't post the picture of the kid. Yeah, not at all. Keep it in a family photo album that you have to physically look at. He's naked. He's wet. He's with a Magic Mike dancer. So sexy. But I put an emoji over his face. Yeah.

To protect him. Yeah, right. No, I just like will post the... We do... I'm really into all the Halloween costumes. Yeah, that's so cute. We did Ninja Turtles. I was...

Were you April? Donatella Versace. Donatello Versace. That's so funny. That's good. And I did like leather pants and blonde wig and smeared makeup. Like just like black, all black everywhere. And then with the Ninja Turtle. And they were all Ninja Turtles. Like I want to post that. Why else would I have kids? Yeah, right. Totally. If you didn't post it, it didn't happen. I mean, it is. Yeah. But then I'm like, let's curb that with comedy. Like I definitely was talking about it a lot, a lot, a lot. And now I'm like,

Ugh, another kid joke? Shut the fuck up. Yeah. I am... It's like, I'm over it. Oh, yeah. And I'm in the trenches and I'm still just like...

I like when comics talk about their kids just because I get to learn about what it's like to have kids because it's just, to me, the only honest perspective. Well, male comedians will be like, this kid is sucky. And I'm just like, you didn't give birth to it. You didn't... It wasn't in your womb. True. Your placenta didn't come out of your body. They didn't stitch up your pussy. Facts. Go on. Tell me how much you hate your kid. Are your nipples all...

They change color and size. I didn't know that. They're raggedy. They get raggedy. What do you mean raggedy? My friend's a new mom. They get like baggy. They're gross. Oh, because they go back nibbled on all the time? Yeah. I had nice perky, like a small but perky boobs. It was kind of like, I felt like I was, I don't know, like co-ed porn boobs. Totally. I know exactly what you mean. They just sit up high.

and then after the kids they like they get humongous with like so much milk that I'm like oh my god I'm a triple F yeah and then as soon as I'm done breastfeeding for me personally it went back to like an empty bag it was like

here's a bag that once was filled with milk. It's empty now. And it doesn't sit up. And then I'm like, oh, I'll just get surgery. And I'm like, no, I want big naturals. Yeah. Which means I'd have to gain a bunch of weight and do a fat transfer, which I'm willing to do. Yeah.

Hey, as long as you're happy, who fucking cares? That's all that matters. I don't... And then I'm like, maybe birth control would be, like, good. Oh, yeah. That does make your boobs bigger. Because they... Isn't birth control... They trick your body into thinking you're pregnant. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy. Yeah. Wild. Wild. I tried it for, like, three days and I was suicidal. But your nipples don't go back? I know your boobs... It makes sense that your boobs, like, inflate and then when they deflate... It depends how horrible your kid is. Wow. If you, like, chewed on it and... Damn. If you breastfed for a really long time. I mean, I think my...

Yeah. How long did you breastfeed? How long does one breastfeed? A year? Well, if you're a like teenager in the fields of, you know, Iowa and you've got like nice teenage titties, which I highly recommend being a pregnant teen because only because that's when your body is the best.

Your body's ready. It bounces back mad quick. Everything about a teenager should be like childbearing. Well, this is the great injustice of the world, you know, that when women are not mentally ready, they are physically ready. And then when they're mentally ready, they're kind of not physically ready. And I'm like, listen, if you're 16, you're already living with your mom. Yeah. She's already there to help. No rent. Instead, I'm like, oh, no, let me go to college.

Have sex with a bunch of losers, figure out my life, then marry someone, then have kids, and then ask my mom to move in with me to help while I'm old. That sounds sucky. Should I pay for IVF too? Yeah, right. Does your mom live with you now? I convinced my mom to move to Las Vegas. So she has like a place. She's like in the midst of like moving. And she was in Florida. And when I had a baby, I had a baby in Brooklyn. And it was COVID, May 2020. Shit. And she drove from Florida with my dad to Las Vegas.

to Brooklyn. You can't do it without help. And I, right. I have a theory that the only good help is paid help except for one person, your own mother. Okay. That's it. Cause she's so invested in the baby, right? He knows how to take care of a child. She's had one. Yeah. She's got that experience. And then she's the only person who gives a,

about you. Right. Right. Right. Yeah. So she's now moving with you or next to you. Yeah, to help out. I'm the only person who's going to have grandchildren. There's three girls in the family and I'm the other two. No one was pressured into having kids. Oh, damn. So you're the only one. Well, that's good. Then her enthusiasm is going to be especially high. And then my sister's got like a front row seat to my life and is like, hard pass. Yeah.

you were the example once you have a front row seat you're like not for me I like my life yeah but occasionally I'll hear like blah blah blah money and I'm like you get to keep all yours we don't what right right you want to talk about money what do you miss about your childless life money what do I miss about my child do you miss anything

I mean, I'm just to just nighttime, like around seven o'clock is when the kids need to be in bed. And it's, it's an awful, awful moment every night. Why? Cause they don't want to. They don't want to. Oh, and they were, they don't want to change what they're doing. If they're eating, they don't want to leave the table. If they're playing, they don't want to clean. If they're cleaning, they don't want to take a bath. So you're convincing someone to change what they're doing. And there's a routine. A lot of energy. Yeah.

Yeah.

It starts where I'm a hero and I'm caring for my children and then it ends with my like I'm yelling at them. I'm threatening them. Now do you split 50-50 the bedtime thing? Or do you always put them to bed? I don't drop off at school. Okay, but that's easy. Drop off and pick up in

no that's a pain in the ass you don't want to get up early and do that that sucks and wait in the line like drop off is not the same when we were kids really they just never got dropped off we just we just got you know i i also walked to school a lot of times yeah like we they just like kicked us out of the car there's like lines and like all this kind like school is much different than when we were in school yeah it's also so many more rules interacting with people in the am yeah

kids running away from you. I don't know. I don't want to do that. I'd much rather have a fight with my children at night. I want the fight and I want my conflicts to be in privacy. Yeah. I like a private moment where when my kid acts up, I can say, you know, tantrum all you want, have your feelings, I'm going to calmly sit over here or we'll talk it out. But if I'm in a public space or a family dinner, let's pretend it's Thanksgiving and someone's having a tantrum and I'm like, hmm,

Oh, it's okay. Instead of me. However, I'm used to dealing with it. Yeah. Like you're sad. Be sad. Let's feel our feelings. Instead, it's like, shh, everyone behave. Right. We need to behave. Yeah. And I'm like, no, I allow things to go awry in my own house. People are crying. One of us is crying all the time. Yeah.

I mean, Noah doesn't really cry unless like his team loses, but I cry. Yeah. The kids cry. We're all screaming. We all have emotions. So I'm always like, we can feel our feelings. And do you live in a house, not an apartment in Las Vegas? Okay. So you have more time, like you can allow people to cry. 3,000 square feet. Maybe a little more. 5,000 square feet.

Oh my God. We have a backyard and it's $3,700 a month. Shit. What the fuck? When Harrison was living there for Cirque du Soleil, it was like a fucking palace he lived in. It was sick. Pool. Wow. That's great. No interesting people. No, I'm just joking. No, I'm really loving it. And then we bought a house, which is like in the middle of being built. And that's something we worked on our whole like relationship. We were like, and one day we'll buy a house. Yeah. So we went to New York and we're like, one day. Not here.

And then we went to L.A. and had another kid and we're like, we'll buy a house in L.A. Actually, we won't. Yeah. It's going to burn down. It's bad. Yeah. And the housing market's crazy in L.A.

Even if I had $2 million. Let's pretend I had $2 million. It's only a teardown. You're getting a really bad house for $2 million? That just is crazy to me. And then four hours, you can drive four hours into the Mojave Desert. And then you're like, king in the castle. And we live in a cool, I think Summerlin's a really cool neighborhood just because it's next to the rocks and it's the mountains and they have...

They have... So much nature. They have nature and supermarkets and really nice parks. Like my kids are wild animals. I need them running in a park all day. I need to get them tired. Yeah. But anyways, it's... I do miss the freedom and I think people should have kids only so that when they... For the weekend that they don't have the kids. I mean, I walk around New York City without my children and I'm just like...

No kids. How's everyone doing? I don't care. I'm having a great time. And then everyone else is like, and I'm like, why are you all mad? You don't have responsibility. Yeah. Other than your own self or whatever. I know everyone has problems and I had the most problems without kids. You did? I was like crying with my, I was taking boxing classes and I

I remember crying in Brooklyn and like the L train just like ruined my life. It can ruin your life. I gave myself two hours to get to work. Whoa. And someone jumped on the train and died and dah, dah, dah, dah. Now I'm late to work. Spoiled your day. And then I'm just like, I can't take it anymore. And it's like something I can't really fight the L train. No, it is what it is, baby.

And I'm like, you won. Yeah. New York versus me. New York won. Yeah. As it usually does. And I was like, I surrender. But I do think I did a favor. This city has too many people. And I left. Good for you. Thank you. Is it? Don't? Should it? Like the campaign be more people should leave. That's actually.

Actually, the antithesis of what the Democratic Party is trying to do, it's a huge part of running for mayor, is that all the Democrats are trying to get families specifically to stay because families are leaving because the cost of living is too high. But like, yeah. And it makes sense. Like, if I'm going to raise a family, wouldn't I want a yard? Like, you have a great setup. But we're thinking like transplants. You got to think like a native New Yorker. A native New Yorker should be able to stay in the place where they're born. I get that. That are native New Yorkers. And they have a house...

and an apartment. Yeah. They don't... That's what I'm trying to do. A real New Yorker, I mean, a real I was born here New Yorker. They're like, I want water or whatever they say.

worder. That's Philly. That's Philly, yeah. I'm not a tourist. Of course, I have a house upstate like Westchester, whatever, and then we have our apartment and then we have like whatever and then we have like five nannies. Oh yeah, these are rich people. And then no one has a job because I was born here. Yeah.

Right, right, right. What? So if you're born here, you just are so rich and have a house upstate. Yeah. And then an apartment and then like nannies and no one's working? You guys just get Gucci loafers every day? All right. I'll take it. Can I be born here? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. But yeah, for the real... And also people are like, I don't have enough money to have kids. And then it's like, but poor people have kids. All the time. So I'm like... Yeah. So basically...

You don't have enough money for kids means you don't, the money that you like to spend, you just don't want to spend it on your kid. Yeah. You don't want to, you don't want to live that lifestyle.

And I 100% co-sign all of that. Well, yeah. Every other week I'm like, I want kids. I don't want kids. I'm more leaning no. But this conversation is also reinstating the nah. I feel like I was a messy girl. And I liked it. But I was a little messy. And now that I have kids, I'm so not messy. Because they force me to be like...

I'm up at six. What messy girls up at six? Yeah. Yeah. Messy girls go to bed at six. Yes. Yeah. And I miss it. Yeah. I miss being like, where's my phone? I can't find it. I know where my shit is. That sucks. And things are organized. And like the only risky thing that I do that I shouldn't do as a mom is like,

drugs in my purse sometimes. And if I got in trouble, it would be like a horrific thing for like, mommy's in jail for mushrooms. But are mushrooms criminalized in Nevada? They're not. But if I went to other places, right, right. I shouldn't. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, if your responsibility is like up, cause you're like, it's not just,

me like you really have to think of other people you really don't want to get in trouble with a lot yeah yeah well you want to make sure that your kid doesn't go in your purse and grab that too because that would be so scary for a chocolate to do mushrooms yeah mommy why am i a snail i put all my drugs in like the homework box so they never get wise wise i i need a good like

Or I could just get sober when they start being able to reach this. How often do you do psychedelics? Well...

Every once in a while for fun. And then recently, I'm friends with this guy who has a company and he was like, these are pills that people take every day. Like a daily microdose. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so I took those a couple times and they kind of gave me a little Adderall feel. Oh, interesting. I was a little jittery. Okay. Just a little buzzed, buzzy. And I don't think I like that. I like being chill. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I am really into...

The experimentation, like I want messages from the universe. I want like answers to my questions. I want aliens. I want to. Well, yeah. Yeah. And that brought me to a different level where I was like, you guys.

I don't know why, but I left being like, we have oxygen on this planet. How lucky are we? And I left being grateful. Yeah, man. Oxygen's interesting because if we didn't have it, we'd be completely fucked and panicked. It's the first and last thing we do. And yet we all walk around like it's...

Guaranteed. Just free and yeah, right, right, right, right, right. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I just got back from the psychedelic trip. Just getting appreciative of oxygen was something I wasn't planning on doing after ayahuasca. It's nice. And I'm like, holy schmullies. We have a good planet for now. Yeah. We're not treating it well. I know. Have you seen a UFO ever? No. Damn. But I'm so confused.

I'm like, for sure there's no aliens, but then for sure this galaxy is so vast. It's like a joke to think we're the only ones. Very pompous to think. Well, that's like kind of, I think the best argument in my opinion for aliens is exactly that. How could we possibly? And also, are we just like cells to a bigger body? Totally. I think we're living in multiple dimensions of consciousness at the same time, but.

Well, once they had the congressional hearing about aliens, I was like, oh, I guess it's, I guess it's real baby. And everyone, everyone really underreacted to that congressional hearing. I go, guys, this is huge. I know. No one, truly no one cared. I go, are we not seeing this? Yeah. I go, they're just straight up having a whole meeting about aliens. Yeah. The whole time. Coming out of the water. I want it. We've been making,

movies about it? Were we having conversations? Is it true? Is it not? We even call them people who see them crazy for years. They ain't. Wait, there was some clip and maybe it's fake. I never know anymore. But they were like, there's aliens and they're living amongst us and they're people that we know. Yeah, the greys and the lizards. Yeah. Like when they say like a lizard person, that's like half alien. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hybrids. Interesting.

Well, I mean, like, is it real or is it fake? It's like, I mean, I don't know. I think the person made the video with the intention of that being real. But is that real? We don't know. I love the way you answer your question. The reason I say that is because I saw a clip that was an ad.

AI generated thing. Yeah, you got to be very careful. Yes. And it was like, I think it was must have been a Joe Rogan something. And it was like, there's a fifth, there's a sixth ocean in the core of the earth where they have dinosaur swimming. And I was like, I bought it and I sent it to someone. And I was like, you know, there's like,

Like an ocean in the core of the earth. Esther. Esther. This is how Trump got elected. And then I was like, hold on, hold on. Maybe not. Yeah. Was. And then I did some research, could not find anything about it. I'm glad that you did that next step. A lot of people stop before that step. And it's, I would argue, the most important of the steps. Correct. I would agree. Good for you. Wholeheartedly agree with that. Yeah.

But I'm excited about, I don't know, like, Corinne Fisher, our next mayor. Isn't that cool? The closest a female comedian has come to, like, you know. Like ever, maybe. Well, Julia Louis-Dreyfus basically was an elected official. In Veep? I mean, that's the closest. I was going to be like, did I miss something? In our hearts, she was. I mean, we watched it. We loved it. If she ran for president, we'd be like, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I think...

Yeah. Make America funny again. And that, yeah. Oh, by the way, Vegas is just like, make America come again. Like, it's like so funny what they do. They don't know what they're doing. They don't care, but it's just so funny to think, make America squirt again. You're like, wow. All right, Vegas. All right. In glitter. Good for them. Yeah. They don't know what they're doing. They're just like, make America squirt again. Oh my God. Yeah. I don't know. That's hilarious. And then, um,

Oh, Cheryl Hines is the closest other female comedian to politics. I feel for her. Man. I don't know what her life is, so all I can do is speculate. And then maybe Miranda. But having sex with that voice has got to be wild. Oh, yeah, Miranda. Yeah. Oh, right. Cynthia Nixon. Right. I do my female comedian research. And I guess Amy Schumer's relative. Chuck Schumer. Yeah. Yeah. That's a close one. Yeah. Yeah. He sucks. But that's the closest.

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But I mean, to, to, we're have to get close to wrapping up now, but I, I was so excited to talk to you because your comedy special is all about your dad, uh, running for office. My dad was kind of not warm and cozy when I had my babies. And I was like, I'm throwing this man out of the bus. Um,

I am dead. Let's go. He was making jokes. I had two C-sections. He's like, they should just put a zipper down there. Oh, boy. And I was like, you're mean. And he's like, I can tell that milk isn't hormone free. Jesus, dad. I was like, he was just. This is why you didn't get elected, dad. Yes. But we talk about it. He has Asperger's. Well, we barely talk about it. But he revealed that to me with an online test. It's in the special. Wow. Whatever. So many layers. Oh,

Which boomer isn't on the spectrum? Like, they're all on the spectrum. They just don't reveal it and don't care to do any research or self-reflection. But that's... See, the thing is, I feel like spectrum people are, like, let's do research and figure this out. Maybe. Yeah. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe no boomers have it. I don't know. It's only millennials and the others. Yeah. But I... Definitely not... There's no Gen X on the spectrum. They're just mad. But...

I think he ran when I was a kid. He ran for office five different times and one of them was the president of the United States. So he kept on. Wait, wait. Your dad ran for president. Yes. That fucking rules. Good for him. And he got on the ballot because he's good for him. He's very good for him. He's very into like the ballots, the elections, the this. Yeah. It's important. A little bit. A couple of times because Florida's.

votes didn't count in the Democratic primary when Gore a couple times there was a couple times where it's like oh well because Florida voted for the primaries to be this date they're not they're excluding them and then the fuck because they want New Hampshire to be the one something crazy that's like out of Florida's and that's my family's little

lives in Florida for reasons I don't know. Yeah. And I grew up being like, it is not for me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it was like beer and that was the end of the culture. Yeah, exactly. And I was like, I can't. Yeah. But we would go canvassing. We had to collect signatures. And so my dad was like, you either pay or you pay a certain amount or you collect the signatures and you need a registered voter. You could pay to bypass the signatures? I think...

I think so. And then my dad also would hire people and say like $5 per signature stand outside of the library. Five bucks is a lot of money per signature. Maybe it was less or more, but like you get paid per...

Paying for a signature a lot of times is like you get fake signatures is the problem. I imagine. But the first time I was like really excited and he won the primary for District 47 of state legislator. And we were – my whole family was like – we had billboards. I was like we're certainly – he's going to win. And it was one of those things. It was like my first –

You know when you audition for something and you're really happy and excited and you work really hard. And you even hired a coach this time. Or whatever it is. You just gave it your all and you're like, I'm perfect for this part. And then you don't hear anything back. And then you're sad for a day. It was like that times a million because I was so certain he was going to win. And I kind of wish someone gave me a reality check when I was 11 that it was a Republican zone that they were looking for. Oh, wow.

So the odds were pretty low. It was incredibly low. It was easier for him to win his primary, much harder to win the actual election. Yeah, maybe like they didn't really like properly assess how attached you would be to the outcome. He didn't care about my feelings and no one was taking care of my feelings. Cute. Was your mom around? Yeah, and no one was like, poor Esther, dad lost. It was like, okay, it was just a thing we all dealt with. And then it was like, okay, he's going to run again.

And then again and again. For the same position. So yeah, what kind of things did he run? What did he run with? I need to know everything he ran for. I think Florida State Legislature. Then I think Congress. Okay. And I think, and then President and then Vice President with this other guy. He found like some. But why? So I'm curious why he kept switching it up. It seems like. And making it bigger. At a certain point it was for attention. It had to have been. Okay.

Because I'm like, I mean, the president for attention. OK, so the president is like good for him, but also like, what are we doing here? Yeah. And I still wonder and people are like, is your dad running? So my dad invited me to New Hampshire when they were it was Bernie was doing a speech. Hillary was doing a speech. And then my dad was there and he got me a Michael Steinberg T-shirt and I wore it and I looked and there was the first female candidate there.

This first like Jewish candidate. And I'm looking at the two of them and I'm not part of them at all because I have me and my dad were the only ones wearing Michael Steinberg T-shirts. And it was like he was stripping me of my like excitement for either either one. And then, of course, I got my selfie with Hillary Clinton.

Oh, sick. And that was the second time I met her because he had taken me to a different political thing earlier. And he was always like inviting me to stuff. So I was having fun. That's good. Now, does Hillary know Michael Steinberg? No, but you can pay money for a luncheon. You know, you can always you can pay money to meet people. Paper access. Yeah. And that's weird. And then it's like, oh, well, yeah, you can also pay money to get elected. Yes. And then it's just like, OK, so we're back to politics.

We're back to house upstate, a couple nannies and then an election. Yeah. You've got your life loafers. You march on over the parents are born in New York. Right. It's like, what? But the sad part was that they were smearing my dad and making like negative ads about him.

And I found my, I thought my dad was like an honorable, lovely person who has like, he's a social security disability attorney. So he gets money for the disabled and the veterans and things like that. And, um, that's beautiful. Lots of horrible ads about him because in 1990, when I was born, he opened a bagel shop that was like,

strippers were working there. So it was called the Bagel Boudoir. Hilarious. And it was kind of a sick business idea. It was breakfast hooters. That's amazing. Great idea. But the restaurant should have been a billionaire. If that's the worst thing you can find on a politician, that politician is trustworthy. Yes. But in Tampa, you think like evangelical, like it's like

But Tampa's so trashy too. I know, but like, but they're electing someone with like boat shoes and pastel blah, blah, blah. He's creating jobs for women. Yeah.

And bagel eaters. Also, there was no way you were going to get through your whole life without knowing about breakfast hooters. You would have figured. That's such a great idea. But they would say mean things and say, like, this guy's the naked bagel. They tried to clump them with the trashy, like, there was a strip club owners, then there were shady things happening. Florida. Sunny, but shady. Not really mafia, more just like... Drugs. Yeah, the whole...

strip club culture of like a seedy culture and then that was like more South Tampa then all the way North Tampa was like evangelical mega churches and things like that and like lots of boat shoes and pastels and Vera Bradley bags and they were they really like Vera Bradley and I asked my mom for Vera Bradley and she's like we're Jewish shut up

What does that have to do with beer at Bradley? I always thought, like, there's such busy patterns. Yeah, I wanted it when I was little. Yeah, I get it. But then, yeah, my dad was smeared and they were saying negative things. And then I think that's when my comedic voice came out is I, like, did a clapback smear campaign. But it was, like, just for my mom and dad and sisters. That's meaningful. Where I, like, typed it out and was like, yeah, it was meaningful, but it was, like, roasting the other guy. Yeah, yeah.

Good for you. But it was a heartbreak. I really was, at least the first one, I really thought we were going to be winners. And we are just losers. Did that affect you in school? Did kids make fun of you? Or did it trickle down? I can't remember if anyone made fun of me. I think it was just...

mean people and the person I thought was less qualified than my dad. And I just felt like it was some dirty... It's dirty when you start to... That's the worst part of politics. It's not vote for this person. It's don't vote for this person. Yeah. Give me any positive ad. I will eat it up. Oh, this person wants this, this, and this. It's never. Everything I got from the election, all of the...

But like Nevada was just like, they must have spent $2 million on ads for me, for me, just for my viewing. Right, right. And they're like this, each voter in Nevada, like New Yorkers, we don't, they're not spending money on you guys. Every voter in Nevada could have gotten like a Porsche for the amount of ads they found me watching YouTube, watching this, watching, listening to a podcast. You guys didn't even know you were doing ads for Trump. Yeah. But yeah. And then I'm like, oh, I, um.

I guess I'm only going to watch negative ads. Yeah, it's annoying. It just seems like a bad way to do politics. Yeah, like you're convincing me to vote for you by telling me what sucks about the other person. That feels like you're hiding something. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of fixes that I have recommendations for politically. Yeah. Well, I think it's exciting when people run that aren't

Like from a family that runs. It just feels like the whole world is you're an actor because your dad is Tom Hanks. Yeah. You're a politician because your uncle is a Kennedy. You're a comedian because your family is this. And I'm irritated by that. Yeah. And also I hope my kids grow up. No, I want them. I don't. I just want fresh people who are.

our nepo babies to be doing something interesting. Yeah. Not part of the machine. But you know who hates that? Political people that are part of the machine. They do not... Outsiders are like... Who the fuck are you? But you at least, at the very bare minimum, is you can force the candidates to pay attention to what you... If you're... If you have a platform and you start talking about...

whatever it is you care the most about, they have to kind of respond to it when it comes to like a public meeting. True. Very true. This tiny little influence, even if it's not like I'm an elected official, it's like, well, you brought those three issues up to those people who, you know, whatever, um,

I don't know. Yeah, totally. Yeah. Yeah. You plant seeds of change for sure. You are loud. You have a platform. There you go. Yeah. But I also am like, I want someone to win that I'm happy about. Wouldn't that be nice? That's what I'm excited about. Corinne's Merrill. Yeah. I agree. And then, you know, you're kind of like the...

With the pathway that is available, I sometimes wonder, like, could anyone that you could really be happy with win? And I mean, I think that's like some of the questions that you're answering in running for office or I'm hoping to have answered. Yeah. I mean, if you're just standing up for women's rights at all. What a thought. Even at all. That's amazing. Just a little bit.

When I was younger, I decided I had... Well, I didn't decide this. I had chronic UTIs. I also occasionally had yeast infections. It was really bad. And a UTI just kills you. Now, I don't get them anymore because the nurse was like, it could be the guy you're having sex with. And I was like, what? What?

I'm peeing. I'm wiping. I'm cleaning myself. I'm showering. Every single thing. All of it. And then I met a guy that just like didn't give me UTIs. But the point is I had to go to Planned Parenthood all the time. And it was never for an abortion. It was just constantly for UTIs. And if it wasn't for Planned Parenthood, I would have killed myself.

myself. Like I would have, I don't know. But if I was ever to like run or have a bunch of money to donate, I'd like, we need to give that just has to be available for every woman. Yeah. The, the things that go on with our bodies and your, your,

I don't know. I was like running around in my twenties trying to get my hands on prescription medicine to treat my UTI. Yeah. Well, in other countries it's also like that kind of stuff is not prescription. Yeah. I think I got a UTI in Canada and they were like, here you go. Bye. Anytime I'm in Canada, I stock up.

No way. Yeah, it's like 20 bucks a thing. Just get a couple. And it's also good for like two, three years, like the expiration date. So I just get a couple of them every time I'm in Canada because it was also like a constant problem. I was using like all those apps, like GoodRx and all those kind of stuff. That kind of makes it faster. But like if you actually have to go to your OBGYN, like that's like $200 for the visit because they won't just prescribe over the phone because then they say like, oh, then you'll become immune to the antibiotics, which I get. Right.

But like that's not going to happen immediately. Yeah. In Mexico, they advertise amoxicillin at like delis and – well, not delis. They don't call them that. But like bodegas. That's yeast, right? I don't know. And then there's – yeah, amoxicillin, diaflukin is the pill. That's like the best. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I also ask, can you give me that Diflucan pill? I'm pronouncing it wrong because I know this antibiotic is going to give me a yeast infection. Oh, that sucks. Let's take care of it right here, right now. And I have to get both. And that's crazy. And I think it should be...

forever the it's forever the reason I have to give like I owe it when I make my billions I owe it to give back to Planned Parenthood yeah because of those reasons yeah and I'm like yeah that's I made that decision like that's where money should go

I agree. It's a really helpful resource. And if everyone's on birth control, then senators don't have to spend money on their abortions for their mistresses. I mean, it's helpful. I know. I know.

We got it all figured out right here. Yeah, yeah. This has been a great convo. You have a special out called Schmear Campaign. Schmear Campaign. That is about many things, but one of them being your dad's runs for office. Yes. I throw him under the bus. We roast my dad. Love it. Get into that. And then a lot of things about being a mom. And I talk about my nose job.

Hell yeah. It was my mommy makeover. People get their boobs and butt done and I'm like, I have other things. I have other fish to fry. Yeah. But I do talk about that, the surgery. This is my third surgery, two C-sections and a nose job. And I'm like, and that's a wrap. That's great. Two for them, one for me. That's awesome. But like I do have –

I had a lot of fun with the whole thing and I produced it myself and we were able to like, I sold it and we hit you on Amazon. Amazing. Congratulations. Yeah, congrats. That's huge. That's so exciting. It's exciting and it's fun. And you have a house being built. We got a house being built. But more importantly, I'm in New York City and I don't have kids. That's pretty sick. Are you going to go on a rave tonight? I wish someone could literally take the drug of no kids and sell it.

Have kids. Business idea. Spend a week without kids. Yeah, and it really makes you appreciate it. Holy schmoes. Go walk the city with 40 pounds on your back and a speaker of, I want this. I want this. And then take it off and walk around. Wow. Wow. You don't know what you got until it's gone. Wow. You sold me on not having kids. Thank you. Freedom. Yeah.

That's terrible, but also blissful at the same time. Yeah, today is nice. Yeah, I'm so happy for you. Yeah, and then I'm going to go back home and be like, we don't rape. Yeah. And no one can touch your butthole but mommy. Well, thank you for your service. You need that. That's why you have an important job there.

Yeah, you really do. You really do. Thank you guys. Check out Schmier campaign. It is on Amazon prime, correct? Yes. Uh, and thank you so much for being here. This has been guys. We fucked the anti slut shaming podcast. We will talk to you next Friday. Bye guys. We fucked is presented by luminary created and hosted by Corinne Fisher and Christina Hutchinson editing and music coordination by Eric Freddie theme song by Rob Patterson and Jake Cosen. Yeah.

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♪ Who went and turned the world up way too loud ♪ ♪ Who went and turned the world up way too loud ♪ ♪ Who went and turned the world up way too ♪ ♪ Who went and turned ♪ ♪ Has anybody supposed to hear them song ♪ ♪ Who went and turned the world up way too loud ♪ ♪ Who went and turned the world up way too loud ♪ ♪ La la la la la la la la la ♪

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