Ep 292: Dermot O'Leary
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Welcome to the Off Menu Podcast, taking the bagel of conversation, popping it in the toaster of humour, spreading on the cream cheese of conversation and adding the smoked salmon of friendship, James. That's Ed Gamble, my name is James Acaster. Together we own a dream restaurant and every single week we invite in a guest and ask them their favourite ever start, a main course dessert, side dish and drink. Not in that order. And this week, the guest is...

Dermot O'Leary. Why are you laughing so much, Benito? Benito says he's laughing because he can hear Ed breathing directly into the mic through his nose. That's funny to him now. Yeah. That's what it's come to on this podcast is that that's the only thing that will make Benito laugh is Ed breathing through his nose into the mic. It's making him laugh every time I do it. Yeah. You're doing it now. I haven't got headphones on, so I can't appreciate it until this goes out. I'll have to listen to it.

No, that one was too much. He didn't like that one. Dermot O'Leary, legend in the game. Trej. Hosted so many shows, so many iconic shows. Always, like, everyone's favourite Dermot. Everyone wants to give him a big old cuddle, don't they? Yes. I mean, look, I've met Dermot a couple of times. Such a great energy, such a nice man. Yeah. I believe he's a listener to the podcast. Wow. I think he's excited to come on. So, look...

it's going to be great and he's got a new series Silence is Golden on you and Dave weekly on Mondays that's coming out we'll ask him about that all episodes are now available to stream free on you yes absolutely but even though

Even though Dermot is a lovely man and excited to come on the podcast, if he puts a secret ingredient on his menu that we have pre-established, he will be booted off the pod. Yes, sorry, Dermot. And this week, the secret ingredient is Cheerios. Do you want to talk us through your thought process with that one, James? Cheerios.

O'Leary, Cheerio Leary. Cheerio Leary's. Especially if he calls them Cheerio Leary's. He's out. Which is a shame because I'd love it if he did that. Yeah, I would love it if he did that. And I like Cheerios. Yeah. So, you know, but there you go. Fingers crossed that he won't do that anyway. I will try and get the own brand Cheerios from shops rather than give money to Nestle.

Right, okay. Are they Nestle, are they? Yeah, just so people know. Yeah, yeah. But then sometimes... Do they taste the same? Sometimes, I'll admit, they do taste the same, actually. But sometimes, I'll admit, I've just got such a hangering for the Cheerios, and I go there, and there's no own brand stuff, and I just, I buckle. Hey, no one's perfect. I'm not going to make out like I'm a saint here. This is the off-menu menu of Dermato Leary. Oh, cheery leary. Cheery old leary. Cheery.

Welcome, Dermot, to the Dream Restaurant. Oh, hi, lads. Welcome, Dermot!

Demo Levy to the Dream Restaurant. Missed me for some time. You're a lot quieter outside. Yeah. I've got to build you up to it, you know. You really don't. It's nice to be here. Yeah, well, he did go very big there. Here's the thing, though. Now, I'm slightly self-conscious because I know there's been a preamble. Because you two do a preamble before the guest comes in. Have you done a preamble yet? Yes. When did you do the preamble? We've been here all day, don't we? Well, I...

Can I hear the preamble? No, absolutely not. Oh, man. It's got the secret ingredient in it. You can't know what the secret ingredient is. So the preamble is the secret sauce? Yeah, that's included in there. What are you worried about with the preamble? Is it the secret ingredient? I'm curious. You're curious about the preamble? Yeah. I think we've been slugging you off.

presenter comedian dynamics always quite strange yeah yeah because you like you lot think we're like the hospital porters and you're like the heart surgeons you sort of you get this whole kind of like oh you're all it was walk and talk and say things and we're like yeah you just come out with some funny things to say and you say it again and again and again yeah and then you go home and none of you really have

and then you're like come and try and do two and a half hours of live telly yes wow you must be terrified of Joel Domet though he's coming for you the double threat he's coming for you yeah I think he's come he's come you gave we've had a lot of presenters on this we respect the art of presenting I'm not scared of the preamble I'm just curious look

Yeah, yeah. I've tried some presenting in the past. It's very difficult. Do you enjoy it? Yeah, but it's difficult. It is difficult. Depends what you do, I think. Having an earpiece. Having an earpiece is a... Yeah. But it's interesting. Jimmy Carr told me the other day that...

Your body goes through the same process every time you get stressed about something. So even though you think you've conquered that stress, your body's still going through the same process. And I remember when I first started T4, I used to literally, I'd be in the toilet throwing up before the show started because the idea of live television without an autocue, without like, you know, really without sort of, you sort of learn the script, but you add living on the script. So there's a lot that could go wrong. And it was on for hours, like, you know.

you know, some of the links were easy. They were like, here's Hollyoaks. But some of them were like, right, now you've got to interview The Rock for like three minutes and then cross from that to some sort of like game. But it's nuts, right? In terms of what your body, if that is true, what your body gets used to and what your mind, you know, how you play tricks. I think your job is interesting because obviously people are going to see you when they go and see you. But at the same time, you're always playing the away game. So wherever you go, there's a new crowd, a new set of people who want to see you. But,

you've still got to win them over. Yeah, they're like, you've come into our place. And no matter how much they like the comedian, they're still worried that the comedian is going to be rubbish. Whereas I think with presenters, I always feel like I'm in good hands. I don't ever feel like this presenter's going to be rubbish. It's really interesting because you come out and you sort of like, you know, I do a bit of writing and I've got a writer and we work together and, you know, I'm not a comedian but you want to make it funny and you want to make it a laugh and you want to... And...

sometimes you can come out and go, it would be a half decent script. And you come out, if the audience aren't up for it, the audience aren't up for it. It's the same in comedy. Like when people are coming to, to watch comedy, they're up for it. You don't. So, um,

They might walk into the venue and be like, hmm, is there something about the venue that makes them feel a bit subdued? And they sit down, they might be enjoying it, but not really laughing much because they feel quite tired in their big comfy seats or the very dull venue and they're just sitting there. It's a very fragile art form. If there's a light that's wrong, it could skew the whole gig. Does it change at all on what day it is? So if you know you're hitting a Thursday...

I don't think it does. I think we always say it does, but you could have a bad gig on any day of the week and there'll be someone on the venue staff who'll say to you, Friday, isn't it? Oh, it's Tuesday. That's what it is. It's always, no matter what day it is, that's why the gig went bad. I'm cursed at the roundhouse, which is, yeah, I've never had a good gig.

a night go well at the roundhouse when I presented there. It's just every time I've been at the roundhouse, I've died on my arse. Now, admittedly, I've done some quite, like the London Football Awards, which lovely Bob Wilson, who's, A, is a hero of mine at Arsenal and also just the loveliest man in the world. And he's got these gorgeous puppy dog eyes. And he asked me to host the London Football Awards. I said, for you, of course I will. And as soon as I walked out, I was like, oh man, this is a big mistake. Was it a rowdy gig? Just,

rowdy but also disinterested which is kind of the worst combination you know and I've also done disinterested and quiet at the roundhouse it's hard to know which two which one is the worst out of those two I think you can get it in your head sometimes I've got to exercise at roundhouse have you got a venue that you've I've never had a storm at the roundhouse and you know

the times I've played there has been promoted by the man on my left so like you know maybe it's his fault sometimes you just you feel it though you know sometimes it's gone pretty well but then that's in your head a lot of the time people come up to you and go it's a great night and you go was it? you had a great time tonight?

But is there, like, when you look down at your tour date, sometimes you're like, oh God, not Yarmouth again. Oh man, I died in Yarmouth so many times. I'll be honest, a lot of the time, if I have a really bad gig somewhere on tour, I'll immediately text the person who's in charge of booking the tour and saying, remind me when we're booking the next tour, I'm not coming back. Not going back. Yeah, yeah. Quiet audiences can be tricky and Sonnets as Golden is coming to UN Dave soon. I mean, just pick it. Pick that one out. That was your left foot. That was lovely. How's that for presenting? LAUGHTER

There you go. Pretty good. Get the guy on T4. And then you get in town. Let me call Joel Dummett. Joel, sorry. Do you know, it's a lovely show. I sort of got pitched it by Richard Bacon, which is an experience.

And, oh, Rich is amazing. He's like, damn it, you're going to love this show, isn't it? Yeah, I'll tell you what, 25 years ago, I never thought we'd be sat around talking about Richard Bacon being a format king. Yeah, he really is. He's so good with a blank sheet of paper. And there's a few people that worked on the show. There's a guy called Mark Siddoway, who was my exec on The X Factor for years. And Mark's incredible. I mean, bear in mind, Mark worked for Simon Cowell for like 12 years and then did stuff for the Royal Family. So he's been in the court of, you know,

you know, the madness for, you know, wherever he's gone. And now he's working for Richard, which is, you know, there's a version of that as well. But Rich is so brilliant with the blank sheet paper. So he'd say, the idea is come out, I think there's 70 people in the audience and we shot it last year and I just come out and say, listen, congratulations, you've all won £250,000. Cheers. Cheers.

split between you. All you have to do is not utter a sound for the next hour when the shush button goes on, when the shush light goes on in 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Get it all in your system. Everyone makes noise and we stop. And then it's a combination of comedians, practical jokes, bribes, getting like old grannies from Poland on, you know, that kind of...

It's a little bit of everything. Our job is then to try and get that money off them. It's like a sort of mad variety show. Absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because everyone reacts to different things, right? Completely. And some stuff, just you think is really funny and really good and people are just like stony-faced. That's gutting. And some great moments. Also, what we sort of didn't really, because it isn't really a, it's not a reality show or anything, but we've mic'd them up and they've all got cameras on them. Yeah.

And what we underestimated was how some people are just going, well, if we do well here, we can all make a few grand each. Let's work as a team. And some people are just like, ah-ah. So if I just come on and go, who wants to do 200 quid for Lincoln to break? There's one guy who just kept going, yep.

And you can see everyone around him getting more and more on it and more and more on it. And then we have like time out. So he does like a half time when people can make noise. And as soon as that fits, as soon as we got to half time, people are like, Oh, you absolute effing numpty. I can't believe it. It's just like, I don't give a shit. I've got 200 grand in my pocket. Great. Yeah. So it was a lot of fun to do. It was a lot of fun to work around comedians as well. So Catherine Ryan's involved. She's heading up the team of comedians. Yeah. Yeah. Catherine's, I mean, just, just,

just brilliant one of the best yeah i mean these are comedians who are putting themselves out there we've got sean walsh got faty algori and we've got um reuben k who i did you know ruben's marvelous yeah he was just and actually it's really interesting to watch watch the comedians because they come out and they've got they've got their five or ten minutes that they know that they can rely on and you know and then it's i mean it's hard enough to present the show you're presenting to silence

for, it's about sort of two hour record. But for comedians, this must be so difficult because they're getting nothing. I know sort of vaguely where I'm going, at least I've got that. Whereas comedians, it's interesting to see some of them will come and just sort of have to change on the, like turn on the sixpence. And, you know, you realize that some of them are so good at that kind of level of, shit, that's not working. Okay, oh, hang on a second. That guy looks a bit odd. I can turn around, you know, I can kind of go with him. Or Ruben was brilliant for that.

Amy Gledhill was brilliant. So, so many. It's really interesting. I can't, going out in front of an audience who are financially, financially have to be silent. I would look, because obviously you know that and doing stuff and they're not reacting. Yeah. There's still a chemical response in your body that would just be like, this is the worst day of my life. Oh, I don't know. I did it as a thing for, actually it was, I think it was Dave again, but it was for online. And, uh,

we had to give these like TED talks kind of thing like these comedic TED talks that we'd written to an audience who were told to be silent and I find it very comforting knowing before I went on well they are going to be silent and they have to be but that's different because you're not trying to make them laugh yeah yeah you know you're always trying to make someone laugh if that's your job isn't it don't you no way well we always start with still or sparkling water on the dream menu do you have a preference of course

If we're eating, it's got to be sparkling water. Okay. We're definitely eating. One of you doesn't like sparkling. I don't like it, really. I noticed on this podcast, I changed my opinion on sparkling water weekly, and it's based on whatever the guest says. I see. You're more malleable. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, I don't know. I was thinking about this on the way in. I was thinking, what would... Because I always go sparkling, and I don't quite know why. And I think, obviously, it's more fun. Yeah.

But I only tend to have sparkling water when I'm eating. Right. And also I'm a child of the 80s. So when the 80s came along, Perrier came along. Perrier was the first kind of like, not only is it not just out of a tap, but you can buy it in a bowl. It's a green bowl. It's French. And every now and again, we'll add like a hint of lime or a hint of lemon. And it became sort of in our house. Like my dad never drunk and my mum found wine in the 80s and has never looked back.

And so there wasn't that, it wasn't an awful lot of fun stuff to drink. We weren't really allowed fizzy drinks. And we also did, we did, we did a thing. I don't know why we did this, but my mum insisted we did a monthly shop. But back in the day, a monthly shop was you went to the shops after school with your mum, Tesco's or Sainsbury's, and you stocked up for a month.

So I think largely because she didn't really enjoy food shopping. So me and my sister would be bribed to go around and carry these trolleys around. And then at the time you had to pay by check. So then my poor mum was like, had to write this check. And then you can imagine how unpopular that would be because you're just like holding up people. Yeah, huge kids. Yeah. And then you have to get the manager to come and triple sign the check. And all because my mum just didn't want to go shopping every week. So that's...

The trade-off was we were allowed one thing each. And I always used to either go for Cocoa Pops or...

cornflakes squashed down into a cake that's covered in chocolate. You know? Like a flat one. Yeah, yeah. Fantastic. And it could last. But that was my first, that's when we started buying stuff. That was my first kind of route into sparkling water. So it was Perrier. Also, Perrier was on that. I almost thought that you were going to say in that story that when you were allowed one thing, you as a child chose Perrier water. And I'm like, if this is... I was halfway through

- But chocolate covered cereal. - But so Perrier water was like the one thing we bought. And then it was kind of an indulgence, I suppose. And also Miami Vice was on at the time. And I just remember, I remember once, it was probably a young sexual awakening,

some girlfriend of Don Johnson's was just sunbathing on a boat and she opened a bottle of Perrier and just poured it all over herself and I was like 11 going, oh my God, this is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life. So, yes. I want to be the water. Right. And then our first holiday away was France. So, sort of Irish family, so every holiday was back to Ireland and then we sort of started camping a little bit in the UK but the first sort of glamour holiday was camping in France and

And then you go to France and obviously, like, if you're into food, even, it doesn't matter how old you are, it's the fries, it's the crepes, it, you know, it's the, it's the pain au chocolat in the morning. It's all that great, like, stuff. And Perrier was part of that. That's probably the most comprehensive answer you've ever been given. so it's proper taking you back to the big shop. Yeah. To the, to trips to France. It feels like an indulgence. And I've always said it, I agree with that and I love sparkling water. Yeah.

And you, you mean. Pop-Dom's all bread. Pop-Dom's all bread, damn it, O'Leary. Pop-Dom's all bread. This is the only problem I have with this podcast. I love your podcast. But this is the fundamental flaw in the format. Okay. Get bacon on the phone. It's like asking me, do you want an apple or an avocado? And asking me to come up with the right, like, they're so consecutive.

contextual aren't they yes so let me throw it back at you guys where did poppin' arms of bread come from did you not go James did it on the first episode soda bread or naan or like it was me when we started the podcast I was going through a phase of every time I was in an Indian restaurant and they brought up the

poppadoms thinking I love poppadoms so much why is it we only have a million I wish I was I tell you what I'd love to have it in this other thing and then like so when we were coming up with this format I was like this is important to me right now at the time it was important to me that I made the guests consider what if you could have poppadoms at the beginning of any meal when we were coming up with the format we did the first episode and he shouted poppadoms or bread

Just chucked it out there. He was spitballing. Yeah. You should work with Richard Bacon. You should work with Bacon. You should work with Bacon. I'd love to work with Bacon. Yeah, I'd love to. I've only met Bacon once and it was the same time I had my first ever Bloody Mary. Oh,

I was... Bacon does go well with Bloody Mary. A bit of a coup de main. I was supporting Milton Jones on tour in 2011. We went into a bar after the final tour date. He hadn't been at the show, but Bacon was just there randomly. Happy to see Milton sat down with us. I'd ordered a Bloody Mary, took a sip.

I love them now, but I took a sip, absolutely hated it. Had to sit there drinking this cold soup while listening to Bacon tell Milton about one-liners and break down one line of comedy to Milton Jones. I'm delighted to sit down with him now. Here's a separate question. I'm totally sold on Popped Almond Bread. You know when someone said it's always an acquired taste, like Bloody Mary, right? You didn't like it at the time. Yeah.

what what's the cutoff for indulging in that because there's there is a point where you go actually i just don't like it yes if i do it's something enough then i'll start to like it but like food is the only kind of vessel or medium we have where that's okay isn't it other would like other than that what where someone will go yeah try it just carry on doing it people do it with people people are like it's all right once you get to know him he's got he's got a cat and you're like i don't know if i want to put the hours in with this guy

He's the worst person. Olives are that guy. Yeah. And I love olive oil and I love everything Italian. I'm a huge fan of Italy. But I can't be doing with eating olives. You guys? I love olives, but I always respect people tapping out and going, why am I putting the... But I think that's fine. Olives are the thing where you're like, oh, kids hate them. And then a lot of the time they'll grow up and they'll love olives. Yeah. But I think...

you know, when you get older, if you eat something and you don't like it, there's no time to start trying to crack on with that thing. Just eat the stuff you like. Yeah. For God's sake. It's like TV shows as well. If I don't like the first two episodes of something, I'm not cracking on. Oh, really? Yeah. There's a lot of stuff to watch, isn't there, I guess. But, I don't know, I feel guilty if I kind of give up after two episodes. What me and my wife tended to do recently is we...

we did a whole thing and then we don't watch the last episode. I was just in the car the other day and it just struck me as well. It wasn't like it's not a conscious thing. I was like, we still haven't finished something or another. We've devoted a lot of time to that. Is it because you don't want it to end?

No. Because you don't want to say goodbye. It's only if it peters out. Yeah, yeah. Here's the thing as well. I recently watched a show on Netflix that didn't do a... We were really excited about the second series. The second series started, didn't do a recap of the first series. Yeah, fuck that. And we were like, oh, we're totally lost now because they're picking up a story but we haven't seen this for 18 months. I'm like that with each new series of this morning. Right?

It's 52. I'm like, do a recap for Christ's sake. I don't know what's happening there. I can't keep up with all these characters. Tell me about yesterday morning. Well, I can sum it up for you. Some cookery. Yeah. Some lols. Bit of...

semi hard news at the start yeah phone in some description great and then a demo I love it yeah yeah that's all you need to know oh okay so I go bread but with a caveat that I do adore a poppadom yeah and I've I've started to buy poppadoms for the house great for that very reason great huge fan don't like to mess around with a poppadom just like I like I like it old school yeah but largely just because whether it's soda bread or whichever

which I love because the whole Irish thing warm good soda bread is good the listeners should know we're speaking to you on St. Patrick's Day happy St. Patrick's Day thank you lads and I love we call it dirty white bread but just regular white bread I don't like messing around too much with it I still have a love hate relationship with sourdough like

Like I'm amazed and my mates have like things in the fridge and I'm like, what? I don't understand. And then you add to it and it's just been there forever. I don't get it. But I love a good old fashioned, I do Glastonbury every year for the radio too, right? And then there's a place on the court, we stay in Wells and if you guys have ever been to Wells, lovely little. Ben's from there pretty much. You're not. Oh, lovely place.

We stay in a hotel, it's called The Swan, I think, and then on the corner there's a little bakery. I'll stay at The Swan. That does doorstep white bread sandwiches.

sausage sandwiches and bacon sandwiches which are just manna from heaven and it's kind of thick cut white bread like a farmhouse loaf or something or a split tin or something and then it's just like just buttered straightforward good sausage yeah great have you been to the Flap Jackery in Wales yeah it's amazing it's right next to it so I always get my presents like for thanks for looking after our kid yeah

Sorry about a bit of a mess after the weekend. Presents from the flapjackery. Love the flapjackery. Yeah, it's good stuff. They're very proud of it there. There's good butchers in Wales as well. Are you making notes about flapjackeries? Yeah, he puts everything down and puts it on the website of all the recommendations. All right, you have to clear the flapjackery. No, he'll just put it on the little... There's a page on the website that is all the eateries that we mentioned. Oh, I know. I've seen it. It's brilliant. But I didn't know...

do you have to call them and go, listen guys, are you familiar with the podcast? Also Ben, Ben runs a comedy festival in Wales. So now, now we've mentioned the flap Jackery. There might be a few freebies. There's a great butchers around the corner. Mention them. They're lovely. Yeah. Down the road. I don't know the name of them, but cathedral. Oh yeah. Yeah. They like to think they're a city. It's funny that they think they're a city, isn't it? Really funny that they all, they'll go on about where this is. Welcome to the city of Wales. Really? Yeah.

As I was walking down the street and an old lady I didn't know said hello to me. That's not a city. Yeah. That happens in a city. Someone's getting beaten up. You say hello to strangers. A couple of years ago, whenever it was, I did the Royal Wedding. I got asked to do the Royal Wedding for the BBC, which was quite exciting. So I went down to Windsor, where it was happening. And we went down the night before. And it was me and Kirsty Young. And

and there's quite a few sort of little reporters and stuff like that, you know, so it's a really big deal. Like, you know, you get given this massive, big, like folders, like being, doing A-levels again, you know, it's proper. So it took a month to digest the whole thing. Anyway, we're coming up, doing rehearsals, we finished rehearsals, we're coming across the road and this is in Windsor and I walked past this old lady and she was talking to someone she knew and she went, the thing is, I really feel it's going to put Windsor on the map. Oh,

See the castle? Yeah, yeah. Isn't it their surname? Yeah.

Your dream starter. Let's get into your menu properly. Lads, lads, lads. How are you with fish? What's the situation? I don't know who likes fish and who doesn't like fish. We're going to be pretty fish heavy today. Great. Nice. Good to hear. With a few caveats. Caviar is pronounced caviar. Yes. Come on. Come on. It's good humour. So have you guys ever gigged in Norway? Yeah. I have not. Yeah.

I have in Oslo. Did you like it? Yeah, I did like it. Actually, I mean, now we're talking about the royal family. I gigged in Oslo half an hour after the Queen died.

The British Queen. Yes, our queen. I was in the dressing room. The audience were filing in. Then I got the text. And obviously all my friends who were doing shows back home, their gigs all got cancelled. And I'm there going, I've still got to go on. And also I've got to go on. I was doing a show at the time where the audience were allowed to do whatever they wanted. That was part of the show. They were allowed to heckle do whatever they want. And so you walk on stage and they all knew my beloved quadruple.

queen had passed. So as soon as I walked on stage, they're just screaming at me, just dissing me for not having a queen anymore. The regions are quite reserved. Yeah, I thought that was the vibe in Scandinavia, that they'd be quite reserved. But then when the rules are you can do what you want, they're like, oh, we should give him what he wants. He wants us to do this. They were like, we're being a good audience by bringing up that his queen is no longer around. Did you eat while you were there?

Yeah, yeah. Do you remember, like, did you have a nice dinner with her? I did. I can't remember what I had because I was only there for one day for that. So I've always loved seafood, I've always loved fish. But my wife is Norwegian and when we started dating, we went out to Wales loads so you have to meet her family and now we go like a couple of times a year. But we got there and she said, the one thing you have to have while you're here are Norwegian prawns from the fjord.

And actually sometimes they get them for like the West coast up to Greenland and all of that. And now I can't have another prawn. So if someone says to me, Oh, do you want a tiger prawn? I'm like, no, no, no. Or if we, if we travel in or something like prawns anywhere else, I can't be doing it. So the Norwegian prawns are just these, it's so simple, but you base it. So I'd have a pint or half a pint of those. And with some,

Norwegian's like quite dense rye bread which I can't be doing with so I would normally go with some lovely white bread um mayonnaise bit of lemon squeezed on top and that's

Maybe a little salad side salad, but that's all you need as a starter. And they largely are, they don't catch them in the fjord so much anymore, but they still do them. So there's a little guy that comes in, you buy them off him. We bought them off him in the kind of quayside. Or you can get them from sort of further afield. The fjord prawns are kind of a little smaller and then the ones on the west coast are bigger, but they are, they're just icy cold, juicy. And the Norwegians adore beer. Beer and coffee are their, like the two drinks.

They've also got a very strange thing. They've got a wine monopoly in Norway. So this is the most brilliantly Norwegian thing in that the government own all the basically off licenses. You can get beer in supermarkets. I'm not sure about spirits. I think you can get spirits in supermarkets, but you get beer in supermarkets, but you, but if you want wine, you go into a separate shop that's state owned, I believe. But,

because they've got this massive sovereign wealth fund and they didn't just pfft it away like we did they can just basically afford to

to buy really good wine so they buy so the state I think buys the wine and so all my brother-in-laws and stuff have got really high-end tastes when it comes to and whenever they come visit us I'm like drinking at our house and home and like all the good stuff I'm like no no no you knock yourself out but so they've got basically some wine advisors on tap so they're really good on wine and it's quite I know that sounds great yeah yeah yeah but the prawns are just

I love this. Pint of prawns. Nothing attracts me quicker on a menu than a pint of prawns. Oh yeah? I didn't know that about you. I'm copying my wife to be honest because Charlie loves prawns and at her birthday I'll normally find somewhere to take her that does a pint of prawns. But I do look at a pint of prawns sometimes. I get a bit like a really old man in a pub and go, that's not a pint, there's a

there's a head sticking up there that shouldn't count as part of the pint shell them peel them and then fill me a pint there was an old place down in Oldgate I think that we used to go to quite often called Tubby Isaacs I don't think it's there anymore but Tubby Isaacs I think I would have if Tubby Isaacs was there I'd know about it Tubby Isaacs still there are you looking out now someone told me it'd come back but no is it gone it's one in Clacton Benito says it might be the same one Tubby might have moved out to Clacton

but it was 24 hours and you can go and get whelks there and little cockerels and stuff like that it was amazing so if we were sort of that way in town and you'd had a few drinks and stuff we'd always go via there and get like and also some couple of my friends are proper East End Cockney Dan and Cockney Dom so yeah

and so they will literally Cockney Dan and Cockney Dom yeah and they'd sit in their pants and happily eat a pint of Welks or just in vinegar yeah yeah happily watching the football did you come up with the name Cockney Dan and Cockney Dom or do they call themselves Cockney Dan oh no we came up with it

Definitely, yeah. How did you meet Cockney Dan and Cockney Dom? Cockney Dom is Cockney Dan's brother and I met Cockney Dan through mates, really, just sort of TV mates and we started. And then we just sort of, it's a nice bunch of friends we've had for, we do a supper club every three months. Someone has to...

pick where we eat yeah should be seasonal it's got an ironic title we're called posh boys supper club because none of us are posh and everyone has to wear a suit but not in a kind of like far far far away we've got quite a loose dress code now and then we've been doing it for 20 years now and it's so nice oh great I've got a supper club as well it's nice isn't it yeah we're called working class lads oh lovely yeah

Oh, we should meet up sometime. He goes to McDonald's. But we do, sometimes, the worst nights are when you get home hungry, you know? And so whenever I do it, I just try and pick somewhere really, I know we're going to get a good meal. Where was the last place you went for the supper club? The last place we went for the supper club was Christmas and it was amazing. It was, I forget the name of the restaurant, it was in Clapham and they did goose roasts.

And the whole thing was our mate just went, if anyone's not up for it, and he was over from the States and he organized it. He said, if anyone's not up for goose, let me know. And so we had Christmas dinner with the goose. It was delicious. That's great. Yeah.

Yeah, juicy, juicy, juicy. Yeah, lovely, gooty, gooty, loosey. I went to, I started, one of the reasons why I love food so much, I mean, my mum, on her own admission, doesn't enjoy cooking, she's not a great cook, but my mum went back to work when I was like 14 or something, and so me and my sister sort of started cooking, she taught us how to cook, and it was one thing I really liked at school. And I genuinely thought it was going to be my, my route in, my sort of route in life, because I didn't really, I failed all my GCSEs bar two first time round, because I just don't concentrate enough.

And then my dad said, look, let's retake them. But if you don't get them, that's cool. But let's have a think about what you want to do. And I don't work experience in a restaurant. Fell in love with it because it's the same thing. It's show business. Like working in a restaurant is basically the same as live television. Like whether you're in the kitchen or whether you're in front of the house, you're making sure that people have a great night and you only get one chance to do it.

And I adored it. I loved every second of it. And I thought, well, I'm going to be a chef. And then weirdly, I sort of bucked up my ideas, passed my GCSEs. And then I did my A-levels and I found I sort of had a sweet spot in history and politics. So I studied politics. And then that was the only subject I did really well at. And then that kind of sort of changed my trajectory. But then when I was at university, I worked all my way through university by either being a barber or a waiter and stuff. And I absolutely loved the industry.

And so it was always kind of second nature to me. I've lost my train of thought. Where are we now? Are we prawns? Well, we can move on to the main course. No, no, no, not at all. What were we talking about? I don't want to get into that. What were we talking about two seconds before that? We were on prawns. We were supper club. That's it. Goose. That's it. Thank you. God bless the goose. So I get into TV. I get a job as a runner for a documentary company called Barrowclough Carey. And...

I've got no real aspiration. I wanted to be an actor when I was a kid. It wasn't good enough. New York wasn't good enough straight. Largely during my GCSE practical. You know sometimes when they say you should never listen to the little voices in your head, sometimes you should. And I did. And then, so I didn't sort of, I sort of wanted to be on telly without, well, be a presenter, but I wanted to properly learn it as a craft, you know? But I didn't, there wasn't like, there was no ins. There wasn't like, so I just thought, well, I want to work in the industry. I want to be a producer. I want to learn how to work behind the scenes.

So finished university, went away, studied politics and media studies, went away to travel for a little bit, came back, wrote loads of letters, got loads of like 250 rejection. In fact, we're just clearing our house out at the moment. I found them the other day. Kept them, kept them.

Not in a kind of like, fuck you, man. I don't know why I kept him. And so I was just sort of transferring from one shoebox to another. And then I got three, it's like mid-90s, I got three kind of replies that were half decent. One kind of work experience, one maybe, and one come up for a chat. So I get this runner's job. And then I heard about a screen test that was going across town that I didn't get. No, I did get, sorry. I got the screen test. And I ended up doing a pilot for Channel 4. So I had...

I had the showreel basically. And it was like, it was supposed to replace the word or something. And it didn't, it was like a kind of late night Channel 4 show. But I got callback after callback after callback. And like, and I'm a runner at the time. I should know where to get this job. I get this job. I go and do it. And it gives me a showreel and got me an agent. Same agent I've got now. So I have to sort of foot on the ladder. And then you're sort of tracked out into my world. And so I was, I had a period where I was going for research jobs and going for presenting jobs at the same company. So I'd go in and they go,

you know, in two weeks ago doing a screen test. I'm like, yeah, but you know, I'm also a researcher. You're not going to get either. Anyway, it's weird. One of the jobs I got was, was, was working on like lunch, melon soup. And that's where I just fell in love with food because every day you get these great chefs coming in cooking for you. I remember having goose for the first time, but there was also, I was in, I was an audience researcher. So this is sort of,

emails in its infancy. So we're like, we actually just sending out signed pictures or we're sending out recipe cards or we're sending out. So I was in charge of all of that, getting the audience in, getting the best audience members on television and all this sort of stuff. So every single day we were fed by these great home ex and these great chefs that came in. So I just, I just,

had this great food every day and that's where I fell in love with the sort of the diversity and the lovely variety of food didn't the audience used to bring in their own lunch as well on Light Lunch yeah yeah yeah I remember that specific memory of an episode of Light Lunch where a lady in the audience her lunch was sweetie kebabs yeah

loads of sweets on a stick that would have been me I would have picked her yeah yeah you'd meet them to start with good pick I've never forgotten it yeah because you'd meet them all and they'd go I can't make cookies in London soon I'm like yeah we do that every day I haven't got anything else sweet and kebab you're on television

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Your dream main course, Dermot? Now this is tough, lads, because I'm a fish guy and... I'm a merman. You're a merman, yeah. So it's either going to be one of two fish, but then I sort of almost bottled it today on the way in. I went, do I do rotisserie chicken? Okay.

Because I genuinely think there's not much better in the world than getting a rotisserie chicken. A good rotisserie chicken, which is hard to find. I'm sure you'll agree. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, here. Yeah. Like in France, every village has got some guy that turns up in a van or something and it just opens. And in Italy, I know some...

Great places for rotisserie chicken. But over here, yeah, tough. Yeah. I mean, in Paris, which is my sort of main memories of rotisserie chicken, because my wife used to live in Paris in the Marais and literally like the shop opposite her had a rotisserie chicken thing outside with the potatoes in the bottom. Stop it.

Just like they're turning and just... That's every night. It's dripping onto the potatoes. Just incredible. Incredible. Nando's doesn't count. It's not rotisserie. It's not rotisserie chicken, is it? It's peri-peri. It has to be turning around on a rotisserie, doesn't it? It's just flat on the grill. I can't go past a place that does rotisserie chicken and not get rotisserie chicken. And I'm sort of... I've gone down a bit of a rabbit hole of buying my own rotisserie oven.

It's quite hard. Well, you could. It's quite hard because they're big. Yeah. And then you've got to justify it. You can't use it for everything either. No, you just use it for chicken. Yeah. No, surely you could do like lamb on it or you could do beef on it or something. A watermelon? You could do a watermelon on it. It's difficult to justify, isn't it, in the house? You can't be like... Yeah, I mean, I struggle with an air fryer. I'm not a big fan of an air fryer, I've got to be honest. Correct. Correct.

Because I got one and then I sort of cooked in it and I went, it's sort of just like a microwave that kind of browns food. Yeah. It's an oven. It's a small oven. It's not small either. Yeah, they're too bulky for a work surface. So I admire it. I appreciate it. But it doesn't factor. Same as a microwave. It doesn't factor into my day-to-day. Because you're aiming at the rotisserie. You want the rotisserie oven. An air fryer is not going to do anything for you. It's not going to do the job, is it? No.

And those potatoes that come with the... Gee, you've got me turning... The little new potatoes. Some of my early memories are going to Ireland and my early food memories. I did a show last year called Taste of Ireland. It was this kind of travelogue. It's largely just a love letter to Ireland about food. One of the reviewers said, it's like it's paid for by the Irish Tourist Board. And then we looked at the credits and realised it's paid for by the Irish Tourist Board. And

But they were really hands-off. They were lovely. Tourism Ireland were brilliant. They just said, look, do what you want, but as long as you call it the island of Ireland, because we work for the island, then knock yourself out. So I wanted to do one episode back in Wexford, which is where my family are from.

from and my earliest memories are um us having a caravan we went back there in the summer and my mom buying fresh mackerel and frying it in the car and stinking the whole caravan out and so it would either be fresh mackerel or uh john dory and john dory is probably my favorite adult fish like when you sort of grow up and you go to restaurants and you're out you're allowed to kind of have what you want but i can't go john dory um because i feel compelled to mackerel because also i love i sort of

I love to fish. I haven't fished for a while, but, um, and I'm not a great fisherman. I sort of do a little bit of sea fishing. Um, if you, mackerel are basically like, basically like the kind of rock and roll fish because they're like live fast, die young and literally will, will literally buy anything. So there's so, so if you hit a shoreline mackerel, you're onto a winner and you feel like you're the best fisherman in the world, but they're not, they're just idiots. They're just like, what is it? I want to eat him. Um,

And they're so beautiful. They're like little torpedoes. Do you like mackerel, guys? Love mackerel. Yeah, absolutely love mackerel. They're like little torpedoes when you get them. It's just sort of, you know. I've sort of done a little sashimi when I've been out there. So you take a soy sauce and an English mustard, just shake it up, and then you can do fillet mackerel pretty quick. Yeah, it's unbelievable. So I think it has to be mackerel. It has to be barbecued mackerel. And I've sort of got this down pat. I always find it quite hard to barbecue fish because it sticks and...

So I've almost got this down pat where I sort of do a paprika, smoked paprika butter with it and then just sort of slather it in that and then it gets really, really charred. You're cooking it whole, right? Yeah. And then I either serve that with either Jersey Royals or I think, I know one of you is not a massive ball potato fan, but

But I love Jersey Roars. Or my father-in-law, Roger, does this outstanding potato salad where he just puts white onion and garlic in the bottom and then builds up from there with parsley and potatoes. And that and just a crispy green salad is just...

I love the sound of that potato salad with it. Roger's potato salad. Yeah. With your barbecued mackerel. A lot of white pepper as well. Yeah. I love white pepper. The mackerel sounds amazing. Can I ask what barbecue you're using? Well, good question. I've got two.

Okay. Because I've got like a Weber, which I love. Although, I don't know what's happened, but I'm off my game. I've gone somehow, I can't retain heat and I don't know what I've done. I might just not be using enough charcoal, but I think I am. Yeah. Are you using as much as you used to? I think so. I don't know. I've got one of those kind of, so I can get it done quick. Yeah. I've got one of the big kind of chimney things and then you pour it in. So maybe I'm just not putting enough in there, but it's killing me.

Yeah. I'm like, come on, guys. What do you mean we're down to 150? I'm a 200 guy. Come on. Is it your ventilation? Do you need to clean out your vents? Maybe I need to clean up my vents. And then for my 50th, my wife got me an egg. What? A big green? A big green egg, yeah. Which I love, but I'm still finding my way with. I've got a Kamado Joe, which is a ceramic barbecue. And this is going to blow your mind. One of the attachments you can buy for it is a rotisserie attachment. Oh.

So you want to look into the big green egg situation. Because with the Kamado Joe, it's called the Joe-tisserie. And you slot it in between the lid. Yeah, yeah. You slot it in between the lid and the main barbecue and put coals in half the barbecue. And then what I've done in the past is you then spike it on, put it there and plug it in and it just...

turns it for you but you only need the coals in half the thing so I've done lamb and chicken before actually where I then wedge a foil tray of potatoes underneath so you can do that I know you can do that with an egg but I just haven't used it enough yet you've got to do it you've got to make your own rotisserie I know you like the sound of that rotisserie attachment don't you do I ever what have you got one here and because your favourite guest

That would be if Richard Bacon had collaborated with us on the format for this. That would be in there. Yeah, yeah. We'd give each guest a surprise present. So how are you guys with whole fish? Are you good with whole fish? I mean, mackerel, they're quite small, but

quite small bones in mackerel? Yeah, pretty good. Pretty easy to fillet a mackerel. Yeah. And when it's cooked, it's quite, because you just go straight down the spine, so you can go to either way. I don't know if you know, I had a fish restaurant in Brighton for seven years. I didn't know this. Amazing. And yeah, the sort of partner in one, it was like the most stressful seven years of my life. Literally. I'm sorry. No, I loved it. Parts of it, I absolutely loved. And it was so exciting. But I would literally wake up every day and check my phone for the weather in Brighton. Like we had five

Unbelievable years, really good years. And then we had two bad winters and the bad winters just screw you, man.

and it was a big building. I knew the game was up when I think we were snowing and the British ski team canceled their reservation. I was like, well, if they're not, then we're really fucked up. But we sort of pride ourselves on being, and we won a couple of awards, I think, down the years for being sustainable. So we had a great supplier who we only ever bought bycatch from. So we never, I think in the past,

the in the years we were going we did we did fish and chips was quite a good sort of restaurant fish and chips which was never i don't think we ever used cod i think oh wow yeah i think it was always and i love cod but you know it's just i think it was always whatever they caught put on it was a lot of fun like you know i look back at it sort of fondly mostly you know it's quite stressful hospitality just seems so hard so i mean especially at the moment but it yeah it seems like i'm talking about opening a food court and these guys don't want to do it you should

James wants to open a whole food court. Yeah, but the three of us together. Off-menu food court. The Court of St. James is great. Court of St. James. Would you rent the space, basically? Or how would it work? He's not thought about this, damn it. Just wait for something to come on the market. There's no logistics gone into this thing. And then we get a bunch of places we like and we set them all up in the food court. But they have reduced...

of it, of their menu and stuff. Just the greatest hits. Often stuff we've talked about on off menu. Yeah, love. Some iconic stuff. And then we run that together at the best time. How's it financially worth it for them slash us? Oh,

People come in, spend the money. I mean, I don't know how I'll have to spell this out to you. Yeah, but it's the deal. You're working with pre-existing businesses. You know, and people aren't really eating out anymore, James. It's a hard life at the moment being an hospitality. I want to get my mind on this. Yeah, I'm getting it now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's reopening the fish place. Oh, that. Well, actually, I genuinely think if we'd had a smaller place, there'd be a little hole in the wall that just done a bit of white, we'd still be in business. There you go. You could call it the small place spelt like a fish. Yeah.

Your dream side dish. No, you've got the, we're saying the potato salad and the green salad are part of the main. So you've got an extra side here to play with. You've got them banked. Yeah. Wow. That's banked. Okay, so what classified, can I have rotisserie chicken as a side dish? No.

Hang on. Well, yeah, in a small enough dish, I guess. They're going to be straight up there in the food court. He says no, but... Actually, I bet we have let someone do something like that in the past, haven't we? I mean, the thing is, it couldn't be... I don't think it could be a whole rotisserie chicken. I think it would have to be... Wing. Wing.

a leg or a wing? Oh, I can do a wing. Yeah? Wings? Yeah. Is that, what bit will you, if you're having a roast chicken at home, everyone's got their favourite bit, what are you going for first? Well, a turkey wing is genuinely my favourite bit of Christmas day now because they're massive. No one else wants them and I'd take them away like a cock of Spaniel in a corner. I would literally, and I do most of the cooking at home, so if I'm, by the time the turkey gets to the table, I've sort of, I'm pretty full because I've just had a turkey wing and like turkey wings are

unbelievable so I'd definitely say a wing I also like brown meat so I so but I like I don't like it when the skin's like flabby so I like to kind of like it needs crisping up so either I'll turn it upside down or I'm still trying to work it out some days you do a roast chicken it's like I've obviously nailed this and some days like why is it a bit too sweaty on the bottom do you know what I mean so because I love the brown meat but I like I love a crispy skin you gotta have crispy skin do you spatchcock

I don't. Don't usually ask guests such personal questions. I'm glad you feel comfortable enough. I normally, if I do, it's pre-bought. Right, okay. So am I allowed chicken? I can have something else. You can have chicken. You're allowed chicken if you want chicken, but if you want something else, you can have something else. A rotisserie chicken wing, you can have that as your side dish. Okay. I'll tell you what I love. I spend a lot of time in Italy, right? And I don't know how they do it, but

but like a parmesan, like aubergine parmesan, I have no idea how they make that as good as it is. I quite like aubergines. I rarely cook with them or, you know, I've got nothing against them, but how they make that, you're eating it going, are you sure there's no meat in this? Yeah. It is, I mean, that dish is probably in my top 10 of absolute go-tos. That is incredible. Yeah. I think having watched videos of it being made,

a lot of it is just frying the fuck out of the aubergine I made it once it was good but I think I didn't fry it hard enough I think it's just loads of olive oil and really frying it from what I can work out but it is so delicious I almost went with a pasta as my main I almost went like a cacio e pepe or a vongole vongole I love yeah Hammy Hill chose that did he yeah yeah

Nice choice. When a conversation starts, I think that's when you bump into it. So the chicken wing, the rotisserie chicken wing or the aubergine parmigiano? Let's go aubergine parmigiano. We've talked enough about rotisserie chicken. I feel like you've had enough of that. Well, so I feel like, you know, you've let me have my cake. I shouldn't eat it as well because you've basically had me chicken and fish as a main. So I feel good about this. Thank you.

Dream drink. Can I have stages? Sure. Yeah, throughout the meal. So let's go back to the first drink. Prawns. Prawns is a good pint of Guinness. Guinness and prawns for me is just a marriage made in heaven. And then you've got two pints next to each other. Exactly, pint and pint. Yeah, yeah. And now, I like beer as well, but I love, I don't like anything, I'm not a massive fan of pints of beer.

So I've been going to Italy now for a long time and there's a beer they've got down there in Puglia called Dreher. D-R-E-H-E-R. You can't get it here. And it's 4.7 and it's peasant's beer, really. It's like some of my mates down there kind of like turn their nose about it. But I just love it. And it's just the most amazing, fresh, ice-cold beer

be it with I love it with the patisserie chicken or with a vongole even or with pizza and stuff around there but then if I'm going with the fish I'm going white wine and I really I've just finished doing a wine course in Berry Brothers and Rudd oh yeah which is a

cracking wine course really good my wife got it for my birthday was it did you do the exam carry it on no that's the next stage I think I will so I just need to find time I really enjoyed it I'm doing I'm doing a course how's it going yeah no end of the month I'm doing it how long I'm doing Leith it's three days

Yeah. I'm looking forward to this. Yeah. Have you cleared it with? Yeah. Sorry. I'm doing a wine. It's got a lot of, uh, investor meetings with food. I'm up to my, I'm going to be the food. He's got the DA on his back. He's having a hard time. I'm going to do my exams. If I want to come and come on board at the food. So, yeah. So, and a lot of it was like stuff I thought I knew anyway. And, and, and it's kind of staged, uh,

you're not going to learn kind of vintages and you know it's not that detailed but I got a lot in fact there was every time we came in there's this Berry Brothers do this unbelievable cheese and kind of cured hams or sausage plate with bread and it's half past six about half past six I'm quite hungry normally and I sit down and I just cane it straight away and then about

20 minutes in Victoria, we'd go, now just have a little bit of cheese just to balance that. Oh no, every week this happens. I'm so sorry. And I know there's a kind of like, people look down on that kind of New Zealand kind of quite punchy South Blanc, but I really quite like it. I also love kind of wines that feel like they've been lashed from the sea. So I love Muscadet, I love Albarino, I love that kind of West Coast of Europe wine.

You know, there's... It's like Etna or something like that. Or, yeah. I really love that kind of... Salinity? Are we using the word salinity? I guess you are, yeah. You can even taste the salt in it. Yeah. I love mascarade. You know, sort of Loire wines I really like. So, yeah. One of those guys. Right. So, yeah, that's something for each course. You've got your start. You've got your... Is the beer going anywhere in particular? Or is that just a shout out? I'm just...

Just handing it out to you guys so you can just experience it. Have a table bit. Yeah.

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Dream dessert. Well, this is hard because both of you are going to be going, it shouldn't be that hard. I love raspberries. Who doesn't? My son.

I love raspberries. I grew up in Colchester and one of my best mates is a strawberry farmer. And he does, Jim, he does a great line in raspberry as well. Cockney Jim? Cockney Jim? No, Suffolk Jim. Where we're from in Ireland, it's like, if you say to people, if you say to Irish people where you get strawberries from, they'll go Wexford. So I love, I love summer berries, but raspberries are definitely my favourite. And when I was little, we used to go camping up in Norfolk.

in a place called Wells next to the sea I don't know if you guys have ever been out there it's a beautiful part of the world slept in a car there were you gigging up there or no we weren't we just we wanted to go on holiday there with our friends camping and we thought we'd stake it out first but mistimed our journey it was a bit late we were like late teens we were just like let's just sleep in the car so we did that got moved on in the morning by a

Love that. Not many people stake out Norfolk because when you go in there, you are going there. Yeah, yeah. But we were at that age. Matthew had just passed his driving test. We were driving everywhere looking for any excuse to drive. So we're like, great, let's drive there just to see if we want to, before we go there for this holiday. So we just wanted an excuse to do it. So right on. I remember when I passed my test, my sister was studying in Sheffield.

and it'd be that end of term I'd be like I'm going to pick her up of course I will yeah I'll drive to Sheffield now you'd be like what I've got to drive to Sheffield and it'd be like I'm going to stop a little chef I gave up sugar that day I remember I was going up to see my sister pick her up and stopped a little chef and someone said how do you want your coffee and weirdly I've had a coffee sugar in my coffee today because I feel a little bit but on the way up I was like I'm not going to have any sugar I'll take the pancake but

That's a grown up moment. It is a grown up moment. I'm driving. I'm in Little Shack. Oh man, driving the first time. The first time when you're on your own is amazing, isn't it? Yeah. Just driving, literally looking at other drivers going, I'm doing it too. Yeah, and you, look, we're on the same road. It's amazing. But Norfolk, so we used to go up there, we used to camp, me and my mum and dad and my sister and there used to be a restaurant there called Friar Tuck's

And I can't remember too much about Fry Tux other than the fact it did a Knickerbocker Glory. And a Knickerbocker Glory, you get to a certain age and it is sort of frowned upon to order a Knickerbocker Glory as a man, I think. Like you do order a Knickerbocker Glory and I think people's respect goes down around the table. As in, you kind of get this kind of indulged look where you go, oh, you're right, you're revisiting your youth or something. But it's not a grown-up dessert. There's a place in, and you can't find a good Knickerbocker Glory

There's a place in, thanks baby. There's a place in, uh, town in London called 54 German street. Okay. And it's the Fortnum and Mason's restaurants. Very lovely restaurant. I've only been a few times, but it's really nice. But the, what they do have is this unbelievable old school dessert menu. And there's another place in North London. I'm someone that's been on the show must've talked about before called Oslo core. I don't know if you know, if you know, no, I'm not sure. Oslo core was set up is an apartment block and, uh,

I think I know the place you're talking about. It's around the corner from Lord's. So quite often, if you go to the cricket, it's a nice place to go. It's very, huge neighborhood restaurant. And they've also got this incredible dessert trolley with this guy who's in charge of the dessert trolley. So I've been in there before with my mate Stocksy. Is it like super seventies looking? Oh yeah. Everything's peach. Yeah. And it's been run by the same family forever. And it's in this apartment block. And you get Melbourne toast when you go in straight away. Like,

like the tablecloths, the peach, the curtains are peach, the carpet I think is peach-esque. But the food is absolutely fantastic. But it's quite old school food as well. So it'd be like a croque-saint-jacques or something like that, you know, or a crab la rochelle. So it's just marvellous kind of quite rich food. It's really good. I was there last time I was there. I walked in and there's a concierge thing. So you go to the left, you go to all the apartments, you go to the right.

and you go to the restaurant and there was this old lovely kind looking lady who was at reception who was just talking to the concierge and I was walking in and she saw me and went excuse me are you are you on television and I said yes and she went oh awful show awful I'm sorry what she went oh

Terrible, terrible programme. Awful. I didn't stop to ask which one. I just sort of went in. And you find yourself clarifying. I was quite traumatised. And my mates came in and went, did you meet that woman outside? And they went, yeah. I said, what did she say to you? She asked what we did. I said, what did you ask? What did you say? And they said, we work in television. And she said to them, there's nothing on television. It's all awful. Awful.

And I was like, what? She's so angry. At least she hates all television. That makes you feel better. It made me feel slightly better. So she hates all your programmes? All of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get her to worry about which one. At least she's consistent.

But they do. I've had a knickerbocker glory there. So a knickerbocker glory is just this great, fun dessert that I think if it's on, you so rarely see it. If it's on the menu, you've got to go for it. And I was going to say eat a mess, and I love eat a mess, but you can get eat a mess all the time. You can make it so easily. It's like, shit, people are coming around. Have we got raspberries, some meringue nests, a bit of ice cream or cream or whatever, and some berries and some mint.

smash it all up it's done it's quite easy I'm a huge fan of a pavlova or a baked Alaska or anything that involves that kind of yeah right baked Alaska's on the menu it's getting ordered 100% that's the rule 100% we went out for lunch it was my birthday last week and went out for lunch with my in-laws and my mum and my wife

and at the Woolsey James we had lunch the day after James he wasn't invited to the we had lunch the day after yeah I had lunch with him but there was a banana split on the dessert menu and my father-in-law got the banana split and I don't think I've ever seen him happier because it was

fucking massive was it it was gigantic I was going to say because if you're in a restaurant and you're serving a banana split especially a restaurant like the Worsley it's got to be the real deal isn't it it looked like the real deal you can hide making a banana split it's like banana ice cream chocolate sauce so you know it's got to be if it's going to be in a restaurant like that it's got to be amazing it made an impact when it arrived at the table did it yeah he was absolutely delighted

What's your favourite dessert, guys? Because I was like, I was into mine, so I was like, every now and again, if you get a crepe suzette, for example, I'm like, when do you ever have a crepe suzette? Sure, delicious. I'm a choccy boy, but I had a fantastic apple tart tarte recently. Oh, yeah. Really good. But no, I'll normally go, if there's a chocolate thing on the menu, I'm going chocolate.

I mean, now you've put Baked Alaska in my head. There's a place in Leeds called Ox Club. Ox Club do a different Baked Alaska pretty much. Every time I've been or sent friends there, there's always a different flavour Baked Alaska on there. So there's always Baked Alaska, but it's always different each time, different ice cream, and it's always 10 out of 10. So you've put that in my head. That's the dessert I would like right now. Good dessert menu is fantastic. Yeah.

My mum and dad live in, they're from Wexford, right in Ireland. And they live about three or four kilometres from the coast. And there's a restaurant down there called Mary Barry's. Mary Barry's is just an institution in Wexford, sort of anywhere in Southern Ireland. So it's around the corner from Big Fishing Port. So you get great fish there. But then they'll just like, their special will be like, oh, it's turkey and ham roast. Well, okay. Well, I was going to go for the place, but yeah. Fucking hell, it's good.

from Turkey. And then, but their dessert menu, like they'll come up and go, like dessert menu is everything you need. It's all the Knickerbocker Glory. And then every now and again they'll come up and go, all the specials today is a Rolo cheesecake. And you're like, who makes a Rolo cheesecake? This is incredible. When's the last time you had Knickerbocker Glory? It'd be years ago. Even the name is fun, isn't it? Knickerbocker Glory? I think probably when I was a kid and like, I'd,

even then I probably still read more stories that reference knickerbocker glories than I've actually had knickerbocker glories. I think that's the universal truth. I think also, I love the kind of, it takes an effort and it takes a long spoon. It's like, you're like an antique at the end of it, aren't you? On the knickerbocker. We just used to have one of those spoons in our house and I don't know where it came from and what we had it. So true, I've got one. It's a long spoon. When did we use this? Yeah. When did we find the spoon? I need to start making my son knickerbocker. He's four. I think he'd really appreciate knickerbocker glories.

of glory he loves ice cream I met your son at Radio 2 he was romping about Casper yeah like he owned the place it was brilliant I think Claudia was on air and he just went into the studio obsessed with Claudia it's largely it if Claudia's around they've got this mutual loving yeah

She's bought, like half his clothes are basically from Claudia Winkler. Seriously. He's got a jacket. Wearing a jacket with his name on the back. Yeah, that's from Claudia. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Great. I was going to ask if you're having a wine with dessert or a cocktail to finish off the menu. I like dessert wine, but I never ever order it. Like whenever I have it, I quite like it. But it's always quite, I always find it quite...

it's so sweet and I never like a little I like a digestive but I'm I'd probably just have coffee if I'm honest with you have a coffee yeah no sugar no sugar no suggy shugs with the with the knickerbocker glory sweet enough get out of here with that

But I do like a little something. I did a show a couple of years ago with Gordon Buchanan, who you should get on here. Gordon's amazing. Like wildlife cameraman, just the nicest guy you're ever going to meet. We haven't had many wildlife cameramen on the podcast yet. I'd say, yeah. Seriously. Almost none. He's such a lovely guy. And he's so sort of well-versed and well-traveled and has eaten so much different food everywhere, you know?

Not the wildlife though, right? Oh, no, he doesn't have his vibe. So he supplements the income. And cut. And Gordon had a show about 10 years ago called, I think it was called Wild Weekends or something. And basically, it was in the UK. And it was the year I wasn't doing X Factor.

And he called me up and said, listen, you know, is there any wildlife you'd want to see? And I love the outdoors, you know, love camping, love all that stuff. You don't really get a chance to do that often. And I said, well, I'd love to, you know, I'd love to do is swim. I'd love to see basking sharks or whales somewhere within the UK. And he went, great, leave it with me. So we went up to Skye and for like three, four days and we just,

hit the sweet spot the weather was amazing we saw first day we saw like golden eagles and otters and seals and all of this and we camped out on rum that was the great we were kayaking and we caught mackerel and the mackerel were like tuna they were fucking massive and then we camped out that night on rum there's only 30 people or something live on rum so it's the next island along and you know it got

bitten by midges and all this but me and Gordon cameraman sound man of a night got the mackerel Gordon cooked up this kind of couscous I'm now not the world's biggest couscous fan but it was kind of like you know a bit of stock in it it was really lovely fresh mackerel and then he opened up a bottle of Talisker whiskey and I really like whiskey but I don't tend to drink an awful lot of it and I think we're all sort of kind of brought up with it being you know terrible hangovers and sort

of stuff and actually he went no no we don't we have like you drink it like coffee you have like two a night just afterwards you know as a digestive really or just at the end of the food and then we just sort of send you on your way to bed and it totally changed how I looked at whisky

And so now I really enjoy it, but I'll have, I'll never have more than two. And I'll just have one just to like, sometimes just, you know, the end of an evening or something just to kind of, kind of mellow it all away. It's really lovely. And we know over the course of like three days, the four of us drank this bottle, but it was just, you know, it wasn't drunk once. Yeah. It's just really lovely. We can give you a little whiskey at the end of the night. Oh, thank you. Send you to bed. Yeah. Send you to bed. Okay.

I'm going to read your menu back to you now. Yes, please. See how you feel about it. You would like Perrier water. You would like... I mean, sparkling's fine. I don't mind where it's from. No, you've got Perrier. Oh, great. You've got Perrier. With some lime. You would like soda bread and white bread. You would like a pint of Norwegian prawns with white bread, mayo, lemon, side salad. Main course, barbecued mackerel with smoked paprika pasta. Don't forget the Guinness.

Oh yeah, there's a pint of Guinness with that starter actually. Thank you for picking me up on that. Barbecue mackerel with smoked paprika butter, Rogers potato salad, crispy green salad and wine. What was the wine again? Anything West Coast European. What's Lav? Well, you said Loire. Yeah, Muscadet. Yeah, that's what you said. Aubergine parmigiana for your side. Drink? Oh,

oh yeah that's where Benito's written all the drinks there nice little table beer the Dreher the table beer gorgeous oh yeah I think the Dreher beer is your dream drink and those other drinks are with those courses and dessert knickerbocker glory from Oslo Court and a coffee no sugar and some whiskey to send you oh yeah

That's lovely. That's pretty great. Thanks, guys. That sounds very tasty, Dermot. I think I most want to try the prawns because I haven't had a pint of Norwegian prawns. And if they're so good, it makes you not want another prawn again from anywhere else. Yeah, I've got to try those prawns, baby. Well, Dermot, thank you so much for coming on. Is there any X Factor contestant you wish was sharing this meal with you? Oh, that's a nice question. One X Factor contestant. Can I have a judge or a contestant?

You seriously want one of the judges? Yeah.

Oh yeah, Jersey. Jersey's the world of fun. Yeah? Yeah. If you want a good drinking buddy, the coal is pretty much as great as it can. So we did judges' houses once and we ended up in Nice. And me and her got there the night before. We were staying in this massive house. And we had the chef. And so the chef was kind of, you know, it's a kind of job, isn't it? Travelling chef around Europe in the summer quite often. He was this really sweet guy. And, you know, I mean, I was...

kind of just tagging along but then obviously he said what do you want to eat Nicole and pick this menu and blah blah blah and then towards the end of the night she said you don't have any port do you and the kind of colour drained from this guy's face because he didn't have any port he was like you know obviously serving Nicole Scherzing stunning and beautiful and funny and lovely and all this sort of stuff and he went oh god no let me see what I can get and he came back with this kind of bottle and he poured a glass of it and she's dried it she went oh my god that's lovely and he left it

And it was cooking sherry. So we then proceeded to get shit-faced on cooking sherry. And then she was like, we've got to find something else. So by this time, this guy's gone home. So we are opening every cupboard in this house. So it's like an Airbnb, massive Airbnb. So we're just like, I found some beer. She's just an absolute animal. Yeah.

And then, so, you know, we have this great night and there's like four or five of us staying there. We all go to bed. I wake up in the morning feeling, oh God, I'm going to go down and have a swim, like in the sea and feel a lot better. I love swimming in the sea. And I get up and I look out my window and she's literally just going on like a 10 mile run. I'm like,

I hate you, how do you do this? Yeah, so be Shersie. She's there. She's there for the whole deal. And then if it's the contestant, then, I mean, let's go with Ryland. I mean, you know, that guy's going to win the party. Yeah, no brainer. Wherever he goes. Thank you so much for coming to the Dream Restaurant, Dermot. Loved it.

There we are. What a wonderful episode with Dermot. That was a delicious menu. Nice man. A wonderful man and he didn't choose Cheerios so we didn't have to kick old Cheerio Leary out of the Dream Restaurant. Tick, tick, tick. Boom. Silence is Golden is on you and Dave weekly on Mondays and all episodes are available to stream for free on YouNow. Yeah, watch all of that. Watch all of that. Watch all of that. I am

I am on tour in New Zealand and Australia in June. Very exciting. I'll miss you. I'll miss you too, buddy. Ed Gamble.co.uk for tickets. Buy some tickets. Come and see me in all the different places in New Zealand and Australia. Yeah, 100%. 100%. Benito, I just want you all to know that he thinks about you all the time. Yeah. All of you listeners and you all mean a lot to him and you're always in his heart. He holds you very close to his soul. Yeah. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye.

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Hello there, Off Menu listeners. It's me, Amy Gledhill, and you might remember me from my episode of Off Menu when I chose to have seaweed on mash and I'll be taking no further questions. And my name is Ian Smith, and you may remember me from the one line of dialogue I had in a non-broadcast Channel 4 pilot. Maybe you were in the studio audience at the time. Who can forget? But that's not what we're here to talk about. No, nor

the news, our podcast is coming back for series four. And don't worry, it's not a boring news podcast. No way. We're two northerners living in London and every week we catch up on the weirdest, most bizarre local news from up north. Things like? Woman in tears after spotting spitting image of dead dog in bath mat. Pure evil blackbird named Derek terrorising Yorkshire village and attacking children. And we're joined by special correspondents every week like

Like you one and only Ed Gamble, who you might have heard of. You'll remember him from this podcast, the one you're listening to now. Yeah. He hosts it. Yeah. Co-host. He was on my episode of Off Menu. Was he? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think he was in the non-broadcast Channel 4 pilot I did as well. Oh, he will have been. He's a nice guy. Yeah. So that's Northern News starting next Thursday, the 1st of May, and then every Thursday after that. Join us.