We're sunsetting PodQuest on 2025-07-28. Thank you for your support!
Export Podcast Subscriptions
cover of episode In 'The Dry Season,' Melissa Febos chronicles a transformative year of celibacy

In 'The Dry Season,' Melissa Febos chronicles a transformative year of celibacy

2025/6/13
logo of podcast NPR's Book of the Day

NPR's Book of the Day

AI Deep Dive AI Chapters Transcript
People
A
Andrew Limbaugh
M
Melissa Febos
Topics
Melissa Febos: 我过去二十年一直处于连续的恋爱关系中,这让我对爱情和性产生了依赖。在一段毁灭性的关系后,我意识到自己需要改变,并决定尝试禁欲。我意识到只有在极度痛苦时才能放弃依赖,所以我决定禁欲。我发现真正让我上瘾的是追求性与爱时内心的感觉,如诱惑、吸引和迷恋。我过去常常为了避免尴尬而屈服于别人的性要求,但现在我选择忠于自己,即使这让我心碎。禁欲让我感到快乐、被爱,并有更多的精力投入到其他我热爱的事情中。我发现自己对自己很陌生,禁欲让我重新认识了自己,并将原本投入到性和爱中的精力转移到自己身上。我甚至开始质疑是否还要与他人发生性关系或建立恋爱关系,因为我不想失去在禁欲中获得的东西。后来,我遇到了我的妻子,她是我禁欲以来第一个真正感兴趣的人,也是一个我可以尝试不同相处方式的人。通过禁欲,我重新审视了自己的价值观,并找到了与自己和他人的新相处方式。

Deep Dive

Chapters
The episode starts by introducing the concept of celibacy, particularly within the context of the straight edge hardcore movement, and compares it to sobriety from drugs or alcohol, highlighting the societal differences in perception.
  • Straight edge hardcore movement promoted celibacy.
  • Celibacy is less commonly discussed than sobriety from drugs or alcohol.

Shownotes Transcript

Writer and professor Melissa Febos had been in a series of consecutive relationships for decades. Then, one particularly devastating experience led her to take stock of her dependency on sex and love. She says she was in "the right amount of pain" to make a change. For Febos, that period kicked off what would become a year of transformative celibacy. Her new book The Dry Season chronicles the way abstinence from sex and relationships allowed Febos to awaken to her desires, motivations and decisions in a new way. In today's episode, she speaks with Marielle Segarra – host of NPR's Life Kit podcast – about how this year changed her outlook on attraction, attention, dancing, and the divine.To listen to Book of the Day sponsor-free and support NPR's book coverage, sign up for Book of the Day+ at plus.npr.org/bookofthedayLearn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoices)NPR Privacy Policy)