Loryn Brantz's 'Poems of Parenting' gives parents permission to laugh out loud
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Hey, it's NPR's Book of the Day. I'm Andrew Limbaugh. The other night, my toddler was up at 11, and then at 2 a.m., and then I fell asleep on the floor of her room, and then she woke up again, and I thought it was 6, so I picked her up and brought her downstairs until I realized it was only 3 a.m.

It's one of those moments where all you can do is laugh because I don't know, what else are you going to do? Lauren Brant's new book of poetry is tapping into that very feeling. It's titled Poems of Parenting, and it's a collection that takes all the jumbles of feelings that come with parenting and turns them into something funny. In this interview with Here and Now's Deepa Fernandez, Brant talks about how this book came about after one particularly rough day of parenting. That's coming up.

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Parenting young children can be really hard. The sleep deprivation, the overstimulation, the lack of alone time. But parenthood can also be beautiful and hilarious. Oh, those squishy baby cheeks and those tiny singing voices. After prom, after prom, me and after prom is happy, happy sometimes.

That's artist Lauren Brantz laughing with her daughter Dahlia. Brantz beautifully captures the nuance that is parenting in her new book, Poems of Parenting. She says she hopes to make parents laugh and see they are not alone in the well, mildly torturous journey of parenting. She joins us now from New York. Lauren, welcome. Hi, thanks for having me.

So Lauren, let's jump right into your poetry so our listeners can get a sense. How about you start by reading one of your poems? Let's start with the one called Monitor. Okay. You'll just have to imagine a little drawing of a woman looking at her monitor. Monitor, it will be hard for me to unplug your monitor if I could watch you at 43 sitting at your work.

Making sure you take lunch breaks. Making sure you're happy. How can I unplug the monitor when I care so much to see? I promise it's not creepy. I'm just a silly mommy. Okay, that came out creepy. Please just ignore me. There were so many poems in here that I laughed out loud at. That was one of them. And then there's this other kind of poem. I want to read one of my favorites to you, Lauren. Great. It's called Dinner Plate.

Night after night, plate after plate, grain, veggie, fruit, protein in place, watching it never go into the mouth on your face, trying to be chill and breezy. A healthy relationship with food is the mom I'd like to be. Sitting with a smile, secretly thinking all the while from a global standpoint. This is super fun.

Oh, my God, the waste. The waste. I loved that, Laura. That so nailed it for me. And I think what I love about your poetry is that you put words to things we all experience yet don't or can't talk about. It's kind of a process of making me, us, as parents feel seen. And I'm wondering, do you and your kind of community, mommy friends, parents,

Talk about these things because there are so many little things that happen to us as we're parenting that we don't actually go and process with other people. Life just keeps going so quickly.

Yeah, I mean, it's truly exhausting parenting. And I know me and my mom friends talk about it. And we send each other memes, you know, on Instagram about all the feelings. But it is, you know, I don't think a lot of the parenting books that I read before I had kids really...

It's really hard to capture what being a parent is going to be like. And I do think I came pretty close with this book, at least from an emotional standpoint. Like it'll say, you know, you need to change your kid's diaper this many times a day, but it doesn't say how you're feeling while you're changing the diaper. It's kind of a different perspective. You know, another one that I love in your book is Spicy Little Nugget. Can you read that one for us? Sure. It's about my daughter. Okay.

You know, on some level, it's beautiful. And on some level, it's so frustrating. You know, like, why do you have to be mad over nothing, I think, is a thought that has raged in my head. Yeah.

How did writing a poem help you process your daughter in that moment?

You know, with my daughter, I found that imaginative play is the most helpful thing for her when she's having big feelings. If I can catch her before they're so big that I just kind of have to let her have that moment. And this is going to sound kind of funny. But so I was calling her like, are you a little spicy nugget? Kind of like playfully. And then I was like, I'm going to cool you off. So I like picked her up and I'm like, I'm going to dunk you in some buttermilk, which like, I don't know, I've never...

dunked the spicy nugget in buttermilk. But it made her laugh and it turned this whole thing and kind of just seeing her more as like a cute little spicy nugget versus like, you know, you're not on opposing sides as your kid. You're on the same team. They want to be good. You know, she has disabilities and she gets dysregulated. So I kind of just have to meet her where she's at and

as like the precious person she is and try not to get too mad when she's so spicy. We're speaking with Lauren Brantz, who is the author of a book of poetry, Poems of Parenting. And wonder, Lauren, you know, you were a preschool teacher, an art teacher. You've written and illustrated children's books. You even worked behind the scenes on popular shows such as Sesame Street and Miss Rachel. And I'm wondering,

This is your first book for adults. What inspired you to switch your focus creatively from kids to parents? You know, I didn't really think of it as a book at first. It was more like

My children kind of broke me open, and all these poems started pouring out. Mind, body, and spirit broke. It was very sudden. We were all sick. Everyone had colds, and nobody was sleeping. And I had finally gotten my son down, and I went, and I finally got into bed. And I was looking at photos of him lovingly. He's so adorable. And I was like, ah, finally going to go to sleep again.

And I hear him cry and I was like, no, shut your little baby face. I didn't say I didn't like that, but that was my feeling. And I wrote that first poem that night and then I wrote like 50 more and I just couldn't stop writing them. I have to tell you, I remember when the children's book Go the F to Sleep came out.

and I had very, very little ones then. And it was so liberating because that was kind of exactly what you sometimes scream in your head. And I feel like yours is a version of that where we're allowed to say out loud or laugh out loud at the things that maybe are a bit taboo, that we're supposed to have it together as moms, as parents. We're supposed to know how to do all these things and

And I'm just wondering if you can share your poem, Mum Joy, that I think really captures some of these things. Mum Joy, almost 40, finally realize what my body is for. It's not for you, it's not for them. My children come close, but not even then. It's really for me to carry my brain, which holds more than expected. Stroll around Target, solve big problems, do nothing,

Soft, fleshy mush. Watch out, everyone. Here comes my tush. I mean, what's your message here to moms? You know, I'm almost 40, and I've actually really enjoyed reaching this age. It feels very liberating. You know, I've had my kids. I'm not as worried about the way I look anymore.

And having children, you do realize you can hold so much more in your brain. It's like beyond your work and your life and this and that, you're like thinking about all these things for them all the time. And even though there's, you know, there was a mom brain, which I think people find derogatory, I think it's kind of positive. It's like you're a little foggy, but you're remembering way more than most people because you're just thinking in a different way.

Yeah. I kind of like to think of it as your brain's keeping so many lines of a train running cross intersections in all sorts of ways. So foggy, I think, just doesn't come close really to what our brains are doing. I wonder though, if you can end for us, because even though parenting is hard, your book really brings out the beauty and the fun that comes with parenting. And

And I know you and your kids love to have dance parties to Queen before bedtime. Let's listen. I love this. What does that moment mean at the end of your day? Oh, it's the best feeling in the world. I always say whenever things are kind of not going right at home, we have a dance party together.

just being with my kids and playing music and dancing around. It always brings to light what I feel like is most important. Artist Lauren Brantz, her new book is called Poems of Parenting. Lauren, thank you so much. Thanks for having me.

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