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cover of episode How to Get Talking Again, With Lucy Dacus of boygenius

How to Get Talking Again, With Lucy Dacus of boygenius

2025/3/12
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Modern Love

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Lucy Dacus: 我创作了歌曲《Best Guess》和《Talk》,分别表达了对爱情的憧憬和对关系破裂的担忧。在《Best Guess》中,我表达了即使知道彼此会随着时间改变,仍然愿意与爱人一起跳入爱情的信念。而在《Talk》中,我描述了在一段关系中,如果连在旅途中也无法进行有效的沟通,可能意味着这段关系已经走到尽头,那种感觉就像身体需要对方,但心灵却已经疏远。 我过去在歌曲中使用模糊的代词,是为了让更多人产生共鸣,而现在我愿意在歌里更直接地表达我的感情,因为这些歌曲源于我的生活,表达的是我真实的情感。 在长期关系中,我担心会变成像同事一样,逐渐失去联系,变成只是完成任务的搭档。我希望在一段关系中,双方都能互相了解,互相支持,即使彼此改变,也能保持亲密。 我喜欢直接沟通冲突,因为这是学习和成长的机会。我认为需要“眼神交流时间”(eye time),即专注地注视对方,来促进亲密关系。 Molly Paschal: 我和丈夫在结婚七年后,发现彼此的沟通越来越少,我们意识到需要做出改变。我们尝试了很多方法,比如刻意创造独处的时间,放下手机,进行眼神交流。最终,我们发现去大自然远足,能够帮助我们放松身心,重新找到彼此的连接。在旅途中,我们能够更轻松地交谈,分享彼此的感受和经历,重新燃起爱情的火花。 我们意识到,在漫长的人生中,夫妻双方都需要不断地努力,才能维持长久的亲密关系。我们需要创造机会,去重新发现彼此,去感受彼此的存在。

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On her fourth solo album, “Forever Is a Feeling” (out March 28), Lucy Dacus contemplates the fears and delights that go along with falling hard for someone. The song “Best Guess” celebrates the leap of faith involved in committing to a partner with the knowledge that both of you will change over time. And in another track called “Talk,” a couple realizes they’ve grown apart because they have nothing more to say to each other. 

In this episode, Dacus reads Molly Pascal’s Modern Love essay, “How the ‘Dining Dead’ Got Talking Again),” about a husband and wife who set out to bring conversation back into their marriage. And Dacus tells Anna Martin why she’s not afraid to put in the work for long-term love.

Molly Pascal’s essay can be found here).

Here’s how to submit a Modern Love essay to The New York Times).

Here’s how to submit a Tiny Love Story).

Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts) or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.