Lewis Howes | Make Money Easy
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Welcome to the Talks at Google podcast, where great minds meet. I'm Emma, bringing you this episode with Lewis Howes, entrepreneur, former professional football player, and the host of the School of Greatness podcast. Talks at Google brings the world's most influential thinkers, creators, makers, and doers all to one place. You can watch every episode at youtube.com slash talks at google.

Lewis joins Google to discuss his book, Make Money Easy, Create Financial Freedom, and Live a Richer Life. The book leverages insight gleaned from the many financial experts on the School of Greatness podcast, as well as the latest research around the psychology of money and his own journey to success. It offers both practical advice and the mindset reframing needed to achieve financial peace and fulfillment.

Lewis is a two-time New York Times bestselling author, a lifestyle entrepreneur, a keynote speaker, a former professional football player, and USA men's national handball team athlete. He was recognized by the White House and former President Obama as one of the top 100 entrepreneurs in the country under 30.

He's been featured on Ellen, The New York Times, People, Forbes, Fast Company, ESPN, Sports Illustrated, Men's Health, The Today Show, and more. Here is Lewis Howes. Make money easy. All right. So I want to get right into it. But before I get into the book specifically, I want to go into a story that I think really talks a little bit about who you are and why you do what you do. Tell us what's the significance of a $2 bill?

Okay, so in the book I have a story about $2 bills. And in my wallet I always carry $2 bills and I tip in $2 bills. Wherever I go, I try to give them out. It's because when I was growing up, my dad, we didn't have a lot of money growing up in a small town in Ohio. It was kind of lower middle class. So it was never like we had abundance. It was just enough every month, right? But he wanted to be a generous human being everywhere he went. And even though he didn't have a lot to tip,

he would give a $2 bill as opposed to two individual dollars. Same value, but the experience always brought a smile to people. And it was like something that they would talk about the rest of the day when they got a $2 tip.

And so it's something I carried on in my life by experiencing that experience and seeing the joy that that moment would bring to people every single time I did it. So it's part of a story in the book as well as how can you add value in someone's life, even if you don't have a lot to give? And how can you create an experience or a moment of feeling abundant?

even though it may not be giving the abundance. Yeah, I like that. That's one of the biggest lessons that I picked up from your book is you don't need to have a lot to be generous. Like those two things don't need to be connected. Well, let's get into the book. So there are a lot of personal finance books out there. And most of them that around things like how do I save more? What should I invest?

This is not that. This is a very, very different book. And so first I want to dig into the tagline because just like my emotional reaction to it of create financial freedom and live a richer life, I'm already like, here's my money, fix that for me.

What is the specific promise underneath that tagline and what is it not in contrast to other books? Yeah, this is not about like budgeting or investing or saving even. It's really about our relationship with money. And I have found that there's four different ways to live life around money and I've lived in all four of these levels. The first level is being financially broke, having no money, living in debt, credit card, feeling stressed out about money and not having any, but also feeling emotionally broken.

So feeling scarcity within your body, within your mindset, within your emotions and feeling scarce. So having no money and also having no emotional abundance. So that's the first level. I don't think anyone wants to live in that way. Feeling like they can't do anything about money and emotionally they're broken.

And I was living on my sister's couch for a year and a half. And I felt that for like the first year. After I was playing football, I got injured and I was sleeping on her couch. She was taking care of me. I was living off of her. I wasn't able to provide for myself. So I was financially broken, student loans, credit card debt, and spiritually broken. So that was the first level of kind of relationship that I had with money. The second level was...

financially broken, not having money, but starting to feel emotionally abundant, energetically. Again, this is a different probably book than what people think. It's not about investing. It's about how can we feel more abundant, more worthy, no matter whether we have money or not.

And so that was the second level. I started to overcome fears. I started to find mentors. I started to develop skill sets. And that created momentum. I was like, okay, I do have value. I do have worth. I can do something. I can overcome challenges. So I felt more abundant internally in my nervous system and my mindset, but I was still broke. And that didn't feel good, right? But I was like, okay, now how do I turn this abundance feeling into financial opportunity? And that was the third level for me.

was I started to use that energy of generosity, of gratitude, of overcoming my fears, developing skill sets, that abundant energy into generating financial success. And I started to make money and started to launch a business. I wrote a book, I was doing events, I was doing all these different things. And after five years of working really hard, I finally got off my sister's couch, not in five years, but I got off of it. I was able to make my own money.

And something shifted for me. I remember I had a million dollars in the bank at one point, and I felt like the most scarce person in the world. I was more resentful, more angry. I was thinking everyone was out to get me. I think everyone was trying to take advantage of me. Kids from like middle school were reaching out saying, "Hey, can I borrow some money?" It didn't feel good emotionally anymore. So this abundant energy that I was using to generate money

I did it, but then I went back into a place of feeling scarce emotionally and triggered and like just very like easily triggered where I'd get resentful or jealous or comparing myself. I was like, it still is not enough. I was making money, but I didn't feel good.

So I needed to make more because I thought that would make me feel good. And that third level of living, I don't know if anyone here can relate to this. You have money. Maybe you're working at Google. You're in the top of your class. You've developed skills. You've worked so hard to be at the top company in the world. But everyone around you maybe feels like they're smarter than you, they're more talented, whatever it might be. And so you're like, oh, I'm making incredible money. I'm at one of the top companies in the world.

but I feel not enough. I feel insecure because everyone in my cohort is smart. And so, "Whoa, what do I do?" And so we start shrinking in that place. And it's almost worse because you have money and you feel like, "This was supposed to make me feel good. I'm at a company, I'm in this position, I have money. Why do I still not feel emotionally secure? What is off? What is out of alignment inside of me that makes me feel not enough?"

less worthy, not abundant feeling. And so I'm living in scarcity emotionally, even though I have success, I have money, I have the career, I have the relationship, but I don't feel like I have it. And sometimes from that place, that divide can make it even more frustrating because you thought, when I get this, I will feel better. Then I'll be accepted, then I can love myself more, then people will see me and recognize, whatever it is.

But it's a bigger divide and it creates more scarcity inside of us. That's what happened to me. Once I was chasing the money, chasing the success and getting it, I felt farther away from who I was meant to be. I felt farther away from wholeness because I was chasing it out of the need to look good, to prove people wrong.

to feel like it was going to create safety when it didn't create safety because I wasn't safe. The fourth level for me with our relationship to money is how do we create emotional freedom? And I'm not sure this is something that you guys talk about here at Google. So how do we... - We're trying. - You're trying. Yeah, yeah, exactly. How do I create a sense of emotional peace inside of me? Freedom, abundance inside of me, calm, ease, where my nervous system feels in alignment.

Whether money comes to me, money goes away. Whether I get the promotion or someone else gets it. Whether my boss says you did a great job or they don't care at all and I work my butt off. How can I feel emotionally at peace and create a beautiful harmonic relationship with self? When I'm spending money on California state taxes, how can I appreciate

that I'm spending it and not get angry. - I think you just lost the crowd there. - How can I interpret the spending that I'm spending on everything, even if I don't feel like I'm getting the appreciation in return?

How can I have a deeper relationship where I feel emotionally aligned in my life? It doesn't mean it's going to be a perfect and I'm bypassing all my emotions, but how can I feel I'm good with me? I'm creating a sense of wholeness, a sense of safety inside of me where abundance flows emotionally.

So that I'm not triggered every time that my boss compliments someone else instead of me. And I feel undervalued. So I'm not triggered every time someone cuts me off in LA traffic. So I'm not triggered every time my boss says, you know, it's going from three days to four days back in the office. Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh. I'm not triggered, you know? It's like, how can I not be triggered emotionally when these things happen? Does someone else want to moderate this? Yeah, they're like, oh.

Don't bring with that three to four days. Don't take that away from me. It doesn't mean we have to like everything. It doesn't mean we just bypass our emotions, but how can I not let those emotions have power over me? So abundance and the energy of love, gratitude, generosity continues to flow inside of me so that I can be the magnet to create what I want externally. And a lot of this is about feeling an energy of calm and peace inside of me. Continue to expand that energy so that

it expands externally, financially, opportunities, and I become a magnet for what I want, what I desire. And that's the fourth level of living in relationship to money is being financially free. That doesn't mean you have to have millions of dollars, but I feel at peace financially. I'm not living paycheck to paycheck. I'm good with my money. I could still want more, but I'm good. I'm

And I feel emotionally at peace within me. I feel abundance and I feel alignment with what I'm doing, with how I show up, with my relationships. And that takes effort. It takes a journey of healing. It takes a journey of creating boundaries with ourselves and with others so we don't feel like we're getting taken advantage of. It requires us using our voice, having courage. It's not like it just happens in a moment. You have to really assess what level you're at

what is blocking you from that emotional freedom or from the results that we're looking for in life and how to really speak up and create that for ourselves. So that's kind of what this is about is addressing and understanding what level you're currently at. Not making you right or wrong, good or bad, not in a sense of judgment or anything like that. But is this level supporting me in feeling better in all of my relationships in my life? Do I feel good about me? Am I happy with the results I'm creating in my life?

And if not, it's about addressing how to break free and create that abundance you want. It's interesting. So I grew up with immigrant parents. They worked their butts off to come here and to make sure we weren't broke. And so we were in a good position. But what they, I think, inadvertently did was the scarcity that drove them, they taught that to me.

And so, so much, even though maybe our childhoods were different, so much of your story resonated with me in terms of that scarcity and fear that drove me, or still continues to drive me. Like while you were going through levels two and three, I was thinking, "Hi, he's reciting my journal in front of my coworkers."

It's very uncomfortable. And when your parents probably worked really hard and they probably saved a lot of money and they probably eventually got to a place of financial security, I'm assuming. Maybe they weren't like multimillionaires overnight, but they had a sense of money saved up, I'm assuming, right? Yes.

Now they and they had this money saved up. They were probably good for a year, maybe two years, maybe more. They did all the right things and the investments and the retirement and saving. Right. I'm assuming. Yes. Profile you specifically on what you said. So actually, I'll give you a story there. They're actually small town doctors. And so when I was a kid, I didn't understand how much a doctor made. And then at some point, like I figured out the math. I'm like, wait a minute.

We're not poor. Why are we living like this? But they thought in that scarce mindset. The other doctors actually bought us a microwave because they felt bad for us. So they had money. Yes. But they were living in scarcity. Yes. And that energy at home, maybe they weren't even talking about all the time, but it was just the energy made you feel like nervous or anxious around money. Right. Yeah.

And I want you to imagine, I want everyone here and everyone watching at home, I want you to imagine a simple exercise. If money were a person, imagine the idea, the representation of money in your life in a human form. And money walks through the room and stands in front of you right now. What is your initial energetic response to money if it's a person? As a thought exercise here.

How would it make you feel? And let me walk you through a couple scenarios. There's a lot of cringing going on right now. I know, there is. This is great. Yeah. You're like, I want that. You're like, I'm cringing. Get away from me, right? Just right away. They already said this. I've been on this book tour for the last 12 days, and I've been asking this everywhere I go. And I asked someone before I went on tour, I said, someone in their late 20s. Anyone in their late 20s here? Just curious. A couple people? Okay. Okay.

Late 21, they're like this. They don't want to put their hands all the way up. They're like, me, barely. Okay. I asked someone at late 20s, I go, you're at a restaurant and money walks in the door and you see money. And I created the whole context. The idea of money as a person and your relationship to money and it comes in person form. Walks through the door. What's your reaction? I swear to God, this is crazy. This person goes, I would freak out and run away and hide at the bar.

If money walked into a restaurant where I was eating, I would hide at the bar and I'd start talking crap behind its back. Then if it came up to me, I would act like I was its friend. And I would start saying, "Hey, how are you? Hope you're having a good day." Then I would use and abuse money when I needed it, and I would ghost it if it ever reached out to me. Right? Ghost life. And I was like, "Man, you have a very unhealthy relationship with money." And they were like, "I know."

And I go, "This doesn't mean it's good or bad, right or wrong, but how does that show up for you? How does that make you feel?" And so I want each one of you to think about it. We have the cringe person, "Get away from me." We have the other person who's like, "Come here, I'll give you a hug." You know, I had my friend Mark Manson who wrote a book, "The Subtle Art of Not Giving an F," which was a very popular book. It sold 10 million copies. I was just on his show last week and I said, "Money walks in the room right now in this interview. What's your initial response?"

And he goes, I don't know if I have to bleep this out, but he goes, you're a douchebag. That's what he thought. He's like, that guy walks in, he's a douchebag. And this guy's a multimillionaire. Now, it doesn't mean our relationship with it is holding us back from making more of it or having more of it.

But that energy, that feeling, if it doesn't feel like a healthy relationship, that just means every time we look at money, we receive money, we spend money, we open our bank account, we give money as a gift, we pay for someone, someone pays for us, there's a relationship we have with it energetically, whether you think about it or not. How many of you are really good at

allowing for someone to pay for your meal. Just raise your hand if you're really good. If someone's like, hey, I want to pay for you. And you're like, yes, pay all you want. I only see a few hands. So either this is not an engaged group or no one participates here or no one is good at receiving money through a gift of like, hey, I'm going to take you out to dinner. Let me pay for you. It's like, I will fight you to the death. You'll fight it, right? Yes.

And some people are takers, like, yeah, I want everyone to pay for me, and I'll never pay, right? And then that person may feel underappreciated when they feel like they're getting taken advantage of. So I just want you to think about what is your relationship with money, if it was a person. And we have a relationship with it, whether you think about it or not. There's a feeling around it in every environment in life.

And when you see someone who has more money than you, what's your relationship with it? When you talk about money, what's your relationship with it? Do you shy away from it? Like the cringe lady. Or are you like, I'll talk about it all day long. You know, like you. So it's just, it doesn't mean anything's good or bad, right or wrong. It's, does this support my energy throughout the day because I have a relationship with it? And we all know that the quality of our life is directly related to the quality of our relationships in life.

Do we have quality relationships with our friends, our family, our coworkers? Or are they lacking quality? And if they're lacking, it's probably hurting me in some ways.

And we have a relationship with money, whether we believe it or not. And if that relationship is not at a high level of quality, then it's just going to feel energetically off in our life. And so that's part of what this is. So I think everyone who went through that exercise has a stunning amount of stuff to unpack right now. And so just a quick personal story about maybe a year ago,

I, through various incidents, I came to this realization of like, I think I have really deep money fears. And somehow the magical YouTube algorithm served me up one of your podcasts with, I think it's Kevin Cease. Is that his name? Kyle Cease. Kyle Cease, excuse me. And that was really impactful to me because it made me consider, I'm like, oh, maybe this isn't about the numbers. Maybe there's something with self-worth here.

But then after that, I was like, well, how do I unpack this? How do I unwind this? And so I think you've written up a lot, so many exercises in here on how to start digging into this. So let's go to the money story. Yes. Let's talk about the money story. Yeah, because a lot of people, I mean...

Does anyone raise your hand if you don't want to make a million dollars? Raise your hand if you don't want to make money or make a million dollars. Okay, so no hands are up. I did that because I realized that saying, who wants to make a million dollars? I figured no one would raise their hand in this room because people aren't, you know, it's like, okay. Let's see if it works. Who wants to make a million dollars? Wow, okay, cool. We got some engagement here. I like that.

So notice the emotional, like I'm seeing everyone smiling. Like even in the back, you're smiling, right? Just because you said, yeah, I want to make a million dollars. There's a feeling, there's a relationship with the idea of something you don't have yet. And just because you become a net worth millionaire doesn't mean you'll become a self-worth millionaire. It doesn't mean your parents were probably net worth millionaires maybe right now. And maybe they're self-worth millionaires, but it doesn't guarantee it. It doesn't guarantee they have a rich life inside of them.

They have rich relationships. They have peace inside. They're on purpose. They feel like they get to bring the child out of them in their day-to-day life and feel free. And for me, that's a self-worth millionaire. And the goal is how can we become that energy on a daily basis, then attract the opportunities, attract the money, attract the raises, attract whatever from that space of self-worth. And for most of my life, I didn't have self-worth.

I felt very unworthy of everything. And so I was running from the pain of the past to try to feel worthy and chasing to try to create a sense of self-worth with my identity, but it never felt good enough. And the accomplishments and the success and the money only made me feel worse about myself because I didn't believe I was worthy of them. And so it's just a journey of unpacking the money story.

the money wounds, and taking ourself on a journey of processing and integrating healing. So the money story I talk about in the book is really identifying your money story first. All these different little memories that we might have. And I have a few key memories from growing up that shaped a belief inside of me.

a sense of belief that influenced my behaviors, how I act and how I respond in life situations. A couple quick of those stories. You mentioned it, I've talked about this openly all the time on my show. One of my first core memories was being sexually abused by a man that I did not know when I was five years old. So imagine your five-year-old self, brain developing, unsure of the world, insecure, and this happens.

And one in four women have dealt with sexual abuse and one in six men. So in this room, there's probably 20 to 25% of people in this room alone who experienced this in some way, shape or form, some type of sexual misconduct by someone they knew or didn't know. And if that happened to you, I'm deeply sorry.

because I know the pain of that trauma within your nervous system and how that shapes from your brain of, "I'm unlovable. I'm undeserving. I'm abusable. I'm not enough." And the shame that you hold and carry for your whole life, the inability to express this. It took me 25 years to talk about it, to feel emotionally safe.

And that was a core memory that shaped a belief inside of me. That was one instance. Second instance, my brother went to prison when I was eight years old and my parents fought all the time. And then we had money issues because we had legal fees. He went to prison for four and a half years selling drugs to an undercover cop. And it wrecked our family. The core nucleus of our family was stress, survival, sadness, grief, loss, all these things, uncertainty, what's going to happen?

So as an eight-year-old, I felt emotionally trapped. I didn't feel secure in my body. I didn't feel secure at home. I didn't feel safe emotionally, spiritually. Money was at the root cause of the relationship of pain. The third quick story, when I was eight after this, I grew up in a small town in Ohio.

I wasn't allowed to have friends in the neighborhood because my brother was in prison. And being in a small town, everyone knew everyone's story. So I'm the younger brother. Parents want to let their kids hang out with me through association, right? Now, I don't blame these parents, but as a kid, you're like, I just want to have friends. Like, why can't I be accepted? Why am I neglected, right? So it was another wound. And I had to pay to have friends. There was a story where kids started an after-school club.

And in order to join the club, you either had to answer questions correctly or pay $5. I didn't know the answers to the questions. I wasn't a Googler and I wasn't smart enough, right? So I already had low self-worth because I didn't know the answers to the questions. So I ran home to my mom and said, "Mom, I need $5 to join a club to have friends." She looked at me in sadness because one, she knew I didn't have any friends and she was sad as a mom.

Two, she didn't have the money to give me $5. This is back in the late 80s, early 90s. She said, "Let's go to the couch and see if we can get some loose change." For the next 45 minutes, she finds enough change for me to have $5 in a shoebox, and I go take it to the kids to try to join the club,

They take the money and they hang out for the next hour by themselves and I sit in the corner. So even I'm not smart enough to have friends. The money, they still won't hang out with me. So what's the point of life at eight years old? That's a belief system. These memories, this money story and the wounds tied to money, the stress, the scarcity, the

However it was given to me, my nervous system built that in and my brain built that in. And it created a belief system in me. You guys all know this. You guys are all extremely smart. I'm not sharing anything new. That our beliefs are a result of the memories and the meaning we give those memories. Everyone here knows this.

It's how we interpret those stories. Maybe someone else who was like, "Oh, they don't want to hang out with me? Okay, cool. I'm good with me still." But I didn't interpret it that way. I interpreted, "Oh, I'm unlovable. I'm unworthy. I'm not enough. I'm the worst kid in the world." You know, all these things. I interpreted it with meaning around these memories.

And those belief systems shape my behaviors, how I react, how I show up, how I respond, what I speak about, what I think about. It influences our behaviors. You all know this. Those behaviors create our life. You're extremely fit. 46, I think it is, right? 46. 46, but you look 26, right? Because you're in great shape. Well, I thank you. You take care of yourself. Do we all hear that? Yes. Yes.

Your beliefs have shaped your, influenced your behaviors on how you want to stay healthy for as long as you can. Your beliefs around your parents being doctors, you saw people who were sick and struggling and you said, "I don't want that. I'm just making this up." But I'm assuming this is part of your belief system that influenced you being here today and helping thousands of people be healthier.

How can I create a better program at Google? How can I create the best gym, best mental health program? Because I don't want people to be sick because I witnessed that my entire life. And I saw the pain that was caused by people dealing with sickness.

So I want to stay healthy and I want the world to be healthy. This is something you need to have. Your beliefs have shaped your behaviors to be in this exact moment right now. Absolutely. And same thing for all of you. You all have a story with meaning around a memory that's gotten you to the behaviors to be here right now.

And it doesn't mean it's good, bad, right or wrong. It just means that's what's so. And if your money story has a wound tied to it in any way, that is not creating abundance inside of you and not creating the results you want outside of you, then it just means we need to reflect on our money story, start taking ourself, this might be weird at Google, to money therapy,

and start processing how we can create new meaning around those memories. So instead of feeling bad about myself and saying, I have no self-worth because kids didn't want to hang out with me when I was eight and I had to pay to have friends and even paying, they still didn't want to hang out with me.

I can interpret that differently now. I can show myself, oh, I've been able to take care of me. I do have friends. I'm a friend to myself as well. I don't need those things to feel good. And I've created a beautiful community. All these different things that I've retold myself now through a different belief and a different behavior that's created a different result. And it doesn't mean I have it all figured out. I wrote this book for myself to continue to grow.

But if we don't reflect on our money story and understand our money personality style, which I have a whole assessment in the book for you to understand what is your money personality style, then it's hard to know how you want to get to the next step. And that's what it's about. So I'm going to, well, first, let me give a plug for a few things. If you heard about this exercise of the money story and you thought, I don't really know if I'd have that much to say. I went through the prompts in here.

I started off slow, a few sentences. I ended up filling up five pages and then saying, "I got to stop." There is a lot in there. So I highly recommend going through that. Now, we've talked a lot about the money story. And let's say somehow we fast forward. You've done a lot of healing work on yourself and extracting that story. Let's talk about the path forward. And this now calls to both what's in the book and then what's in your previous book, The Greatness Mindset.

Tell us about the concept of the meaningful mission and why that's so important. Well, you know, before I go into that, I think there's one key principle that I wish everyone could understand. And that is gratitude and generosity are the gateway to abundance. Gratitude and generosity are the gateway to abundance. Gratitude and generosity are the gateway to abundance. And it took me a while to figure that out because when you're broke and you're emotionally and you're broke financially,

You don't feel like you have much to give and you need help. You're living in scarcity emotionally and physically. And you're like, I just need someone to take care. I need, I need, I need. You want to take, take, take. So you don't feel scarce anymore.

And when I learned that the only way to get out of scarcity is to be grateful and to be generous with my time, with my curiosity, with my joy, with my passion, even when I don't have anything to give financially or materially, I can show up and be a present human being and say, what can I do to be of service and support for you today? And if I can't do it, I can think about how can I find a way to solve the problem for you? How can I connect you to someone who might have the answer?

How can I just be an active listener for you and not be in my own world about stress and scarcity, but just be an active, generous listener? How can I be a curious listener and follow up and ask questions? I never thought that when I was broke on my sister's couch, being a curious listener and asking questions to people would create the business that I have today. I didn't think that was a talent. I didn't think it was something of value that people would pay me for.

But I've been doing my show for 12 years and it has created incredible financial abundance for me and also an internal abundance of relationships and connections and wisdom that I've been able to learn from interviewing people. And I had no idea when I was broke my sister's couch, that would be the path, the mission, the meaningful mission.

But this journey of I'm going to be an active student because I grew up in school that was very hard for me. You know, I was the kid that was laughed at by all the Googlers who were number one in class, you know. You guys don't laugh at people, but I'm just making that up. But I was, you know, they would rank us. And I don't know if you guys had this in your schools, but it was like horrible for me. They would rank us in our grade cards, and I was always in the bottom four. So I could see in my class I was like bottom four, right?

in the class. And I was the one who was looking at people like you and like seeing how I can like cheat on the test just to pass the grade, right? I was like, who can help me with my homework? And I was always in the bottom four. So that reaffirmed my lack of self-worth. And I was out of alignment because I was like finding a way to not do the work because every time I did the work, I would fail doing it on my own anyway. So I was like, what's the point? No matter how hard I work, I can't remember what I'm reading.

And when I became clear that my life needs to be about generosity and gratitude, that's when things shifted. And how can I be of service to others? And I didn't have the clear mission right away. But I said, one by one, I'm going to be the best I can by being grateful and generous with the people around me and seeing how I can help people one at a time.

And that expanded. The more I was able to do that, the more skill sets I developed. The more I was able to identify and address my biggest fears and insecurities and go all in on them to develop skills around them, I gained confidence. That confidence created competence. And being consistent with that competence and confidence, that skill set, created a currency inside of me that I wasn't even aware of.

a sense of belief that I am capable of doing something magical in my life if I want to. And that belief shifted from a belief of self-doubt and insecurity into a belief of power, peace, possibilities. And that belief shifted my behaviors. Let me act in a different way. I almost flunked out of English high school. Okay, but what if I could write a book? Let me start practicing this. Let me find a mentor and a coach. Let me start behaving in a different way. What would this look like?

And I wrote a book by the time I was 25. It was the first one in my high school graduating class to write a book when I almost flunked out. And it wasn't because I was more talented than anyone or smarter. Everyone in this room is smarter than me at Google. It wasn't because of that. It's because I shifted a belief system and I said, I'm here to serve and be generous the best way I can. It doesn't mean I'm perfect. It doesn't mean I'm not selfish at times. It's like I'm not up here saying I've got it figured out. But if I can come from that energy of service,

with being grateful with the person in front of me and appreciative, that appreciation will appreciate in value. That energetic exchange. You know, we got to chat, you know, before Newton about us appreciating each other. And we just met for the first time. We got to have a five-minute conversation. You shared a very intimate story with me, a personal story. We connected on different things. And this relationship is appreciating in value in this moment because you're being an active listener.

You're present with me. You're not looking at your cards or looking at your phone. You're being engaged. You probably had a whole plan of what you wanted to ask, and I've derailed that plan. For someone, you know, yeah, now I see it. And you just said, I'm willing to go with the flow. I'm willing to let go of my analytical brain that we have here at Google where everything's got to be a certain way, and I'm willing to let it flow and just be present. And this is appreciated and valued, this moment in this relationship, because

of knowing each other for a few minutes. And people can hopefully feel that as well, that it's appreciating value. And there's hopefully value from that appreciation. So the two-way appreciation, it grows and we expand. And hopefully we're able to serve anyone in this room or anyone watching later. And I think that's because I didn't have any skills and I didn't have the belief in myself for a long time. So I was like, I need to figure out what the hidden skills are inside of me.

And I learned that I had all the time in the world being broke on my sister's couch. I didn't have a job. And I knew that I loved people. And I said, what if I just listen and ask questions? And I realized, oh, man, people really like talking about themselves and about their success and how they got to where they are. And I would ask people a few questions in an hour. And they'd be like, you're the most interesting person I've ever met. And I didn't say a word.

But people loved that I was curious about them, right? Just like you're asking me questions and it's like, you're not talking, I'm talking. It's like, I feel appreciated. And I'm like, man, you're an interesting guy. You haven't said anything, you know? And this is human dynamics. This is human behavior. And that's how I've built a whole business for the last 12 years. Every single week, I've done an episode on my show, three episodes a week for the last 10 years, asking people questions and shutting up.

Interesting. So my big takeaway there from which I didn't think I completely got out of your books, but hearing from that story was the seed was your determination to be generous and grateful. And by keeping at that, you found your ways to realize what you have realized into the world. And that's become your meaningful mission. Absolutely. And for me, it's to serve people, to help people overcome the challenges in their life and improve the quality of their life. And I

The avenue happens to be through a show right through an interview show. That is a podcast that's on YouTube That's on social media. That's the current mechanism through which I serve that could shift or change at any moment But that's the way that I can make the greatest impact in this moment with that the questions have popped up on screen So we're going to transition first. We have Victor from China and

Hi, Luis. Your podcast has been very inspiring for me. So I want to ask you how you managed to have connections with so many talented people and how do you start this when you probably didn't have many connections? What's the turning point? When I started, Victor, I was on my sister's couch. I had a lot of time. And if you don't have a lot of time, you may not be able to do this right now with a lot of people. But I had a lot of time. So I was on, I don't know if I'm allowed to say it here, but I was on LinkedIn every day for eight hours. Oh, I know. I shouldn't have said that word.

We don't have a competing product, it's fine. Okay, that's good. Yeah, yeah. They're beneath you, I get it. Okay. They're the ugly stepchild of the social media world. Okay, got it. And so, sorry if anyone came from LinkedIn over here, but...

So I was on there. Again, I started out with how can I ask people smarter than me like what I should do next when I was on my sister's couch. And I reached out to someone that worked at the college that I went to that I admired. That was who I knew at the time. And I said, hey, I'm struggling. What do you think I should do next step? He said, check out LinkedIn. End of 2007. LinkedIn was brand new, essentially. So check it out. I hear people are getting jobs through this site.

I just go on there six to eight hours a day and I start building my profile, reaching out to people in the local community in Columbus, Ohio. And I'm trying to find opportunities for jobs in that moment. But what I really find is like, I just want to meet inspiring people. So I start asking people questions through LinkedIn. And one by one, I start meeting people and people start taking me out in a coffee and lunch and they're willing to give me their wisdom.

And I start hosting local networking events. After about six months, I put together a local kind of LinkedIn networking event. And then I start taking those around the country and hosting these events for free. And that's how I met people. One by one on LinkedIn, reaching out, asking curious questions and seeing how can I help you as well. And you do that for 15 years. And you're doing it from a generous heart as well. At first, no one replied to me because I was saying, can you help me? And no one has time.

But when you say, "I really like what you did on your profile here and how you like jumped in this career, this opportunity. It's fascinating to me. Can you tell me what you did to get there?" When you ask people what they did to get there, they'll give you all the advice in the world. But you say, "Can I take 10 minutes of your time and give me some advice?" They don't want to give it to you. We're too busy. But you just shift the curiosity to be like, "Wow, you're so talented. Can you tell me how you became so talented?" People are like, "Of course."

And it's just a shift in the way you reach out and the way you communicate. And I think that's how I built it. And the podcast I launched, you know, I just launched with the connections I had. And from there, I'll just keep asking, hey, do you know anyone do you think would want to share a beautiful story that could be interesting for my audience? It's like,

Asking for referrals almost. And then as your credibility expands, your platform expands, you become the magnet. And, you know, it's every day we're getting inbound people trying to come on the show and it's sifting who's the right fit now. So that's how I started out. Thank you. I want to call out, we have microphones in the room. So if there are any live questions, let's take a live question. Oh, I like this guy's outfit here. Okay, race to the mics. Okay. All right. Chanel. We're here.

Hi, guys. So I used to work for Lewis right before Google, and I've been at Google for three years now, so they kind of set me up for this and love them. They're the best. And if you haven't listened to the podcast, I want to plug it because it's my favorite podcast. I was a huge fan before I worked there. I'm still a huge fan. It's really great, so listen to it on Spotify or wherever you listen to podcasts. Sorry.

It's on YouTube also. I mean, it's pretty big on YouTube. So you can watch YouTube. That's true. We do have, I think, four and a half million subscribers on our main channel. We also dub it in Spanish. So we have over a million and a half subscribers on our Spanish channel. Over, I think, 600,000 on our Portuguese channel. So our goal is to reach the world. And YouTube has given us that opportunity. I'll just say more directly. Please watch it on YouTube. Yeah, exactly. Spotify is a competitor, right? I mean, yeah. Yeah.

So I have immigrant parents too, and they definitely have like a scarcity mindset with money. Like every time I go home and my dad's always asking me like, oh, how much was that? Like out of nowhere. So I definitely have that too a little bit, but I want, and I know that you're saying that generosity and gratitude will help with that. So I'm definitely working on having less of that lack mindset. Any advice on how to like kind of influence maybe your parents or the people around you?

to let go of that mentality? Well, I appreciate it. I'm glad she actually showed up after not being at the company anymore. I'm glad you're not disgruntled. That's the goal. I'm glad you had a good time. But the thing is, I think for most of my life, I lacked courage to have courageous conversations in intimate relationships with girlfriends, with friends, with parents, all these things. I lacked the courage because I was a people pleaser.

and I wanted people to like me and I didn't want to create like stress between relationships. And therefore I lived with a lot of resentment and a lot of like scarcity inside of me because I wasn't having the courage to say how I truly felt or what new type of relationship I wanted to create. Even in the last four years, I've had this conversation with my mom and my friends and different people about like, "Hey, I just want to have a different relationship around this topic. Can we do that?" And here's why.

So whether it's your dad or whoever in your life, I think allowing us to have a more relaxed conversations around money and create healthy boundaries, not from an angry or upset place saying, "Dad, you always ask me about this and it doesn't feel good." That's not courageous. But actually saying, "Dad, I want to have a conversation with you. We sit down and talk about a new relationship with money that we both have, or at least that I want to have and I want to have with you."

And instead of every time I come home with a new purse and you say, "Gosh, how much was that? Why did you just blow your hard work on this bag? What's the point of that?" Or whatever it is that he's making you feel, he's probably not even intentionally trying to make you feel bad. But for you, you interpret it as, "I feel something's a little off when I show up with something nice or new." And he judges it or questions it. It doesn't feel good. I'm sure other people can relate.

And I think just you having the courage and saying, "Dad," 'cause you're in your late 20s, I think, is that right? Or early 30 now? Okay.

And you're an adult now, but you've had this father-child relationship with your dad for so long, he still sees you as like your little baby girl, right? It's like, okay, how can you step in courageously and say, dad, I want to have a beautiful, conscious conversation with you about money. And I'm kind of uncomfortable about it. It kind of makes me uncomfortable and it makes me scared, but I want to talk to you. And...

here's what my request is moving forward. My request is when I have something nice, you don't question it right away or you don't talk about it at all. And I want to have these more open conversations about money with you and feel safe about it. And maybe we're not going to align on the right things or we're not going to be on the same page, but I want to feel more emotionally safe when I'm around you so we have a beautiful relationship together.

And see how he responds. He may not respond perfectly the way you want to, but that courage is going to make you feel more peaceful inside of you and less stressed. And I think that's the goal. Yeah, I love that. I'll also share the book with him too. Yeah, exactly. You can't force someone to change though. You can only show up and say, this is how I want to have a different relationship together. And he may never shift his energy around it. And it's not your responsibility to get him to shift.

It's about you saying, this is the relationship I want to have with you about this. And this is my request. And if he doesn't honor your request, you get to create your own internal boundaries to support you. And the person with you may never fully appreciate that, but you get to create that so you don't resent the relationship. Yeah.

Thank you. Awesome. Thanks, Chanel, for the question. I appreciate it. Let's do one more question in the room, then we will go back to Dory. I like this outfit. Cool. Thank you. What's your name? JJ. JJ. Ken for today, yes. How long have you been here? Google, I've been a little over seven years now. Okay, cool. Yeah, straight out of college. Awesome. Why did you show up to this conversation today? Why?

The topic itself was very something that's been on my mind a lot. In fact, the question I'll be asking is actually very much, I struggle, I grapple with it. So I wanted some semblance of an answer coming here. Thanks for the excellent conversation by both of you. Now, my question is, I myself am an immigrant as well. And so very much relates to what Newton said earlier about, like, I just constantly live in that scarcity mindset, where as you put it,

You know, I think it's a great way to put it. My self-worth is much lower than my net worth. I have this fear. And let me ask you a question before you tell me your fear. Yes. How much money do you need to make to let your self-worth match the net worth? Is there a number that will actually make you say, when I have this much money, then I'll actually love and accept who I am. Then I'll actually believe...

in the hype about me, of being here and how hard I've had to work as an immigrant or a child of immigrant to make it here. I'm already at the top 1% of 1% of companies in the world. I'm already making a top 1% of money. But when I make this much, then I'll finally accept me. How much is it? Is there a number? To be frank with you, I can't think of a number. I put $100 million in your bank right now. Do you think over a year's time, you'll finally love and accept yourself?

Or how much smarter, more talented, more successful do you need to become to accept and love you? Probably only after I've done some unpacking. So no amount of money will do it for you? So, yeah. I mean, a lot of, I mean, it's... Before you go on, JJ, right? Yes. Can anyone else relate to this? Just so you know, half the hands are showing up in the room. So you're not alone. Just to let you know.

Yeah. So I'm the kind of guy who saves all the grocery bags in the cabinet and literally had a friend gave me a box of oranges. I kept the box and gave it back to her afterwards. That's kind of the sort of attitude that I have. Now, I have this fear that I know that about myself. I got this low self-worth compared to my net worth. And I feel like I should make them more even. But my fear is that it is possible in that exercise

myself, or eventually actually goes above my net worth. What's the fear of that? In terms of, I can think of two things. One, in terms of like the money side of things, you know, hear about lifestyle creep or, you know, basically like I, in my mind, I think I've sort of equated, you know, I've been wired to think of the scarcity mindset as strongly tied with discipline. Uh-huh.

And I value discipline a lot. And so it feels like I'm sacrificing that by trying to, you know. So if your self-worth increases, you're saying you think you might sacrifice discipline in the future? I think so. What if you could make the interpretation of the meaning that because I'm disciplined, because what I say I'm going to do, I do. Therefore, I'm in full integrity with my word to myself.

I'm in alignment and because I'm in alignment with my words and my actions, my self-worth increases. And so being disciplined is a part of that value. It's not like my self-worth goes up because I don't give a crap about life and I'm a hippie in Venice Beach or something, you know, even though you might look like it right now, it doesn't mean you are that. You know what I mean?

It doesn't mean like, "Oh, I have this self-worth and I can do what I want when I want and I can eat ice cream all day." That's not self-worth. You being your word to yourself of saying what I'm gonna do, I do. Lack of the results or no results or saying what I'm gonna do for others, I show up and do it. That is your worth.

And it doesn't mean I have to be extreme with what I do to have worth. I don't have to be extreme discipline. But just what I say I'm going to do today, I'm going to do it. And therefore, I'm in alignment. And that alignment is value. Yeah. No, thank you for that. I get that. The other thing that struck a chord was you said earlier that I think Chanel said this too. Generosity and gratitude generates abundance. You know, over many years, I've been...

trying to get better and better in the act of giving without expecting return yep um however i can't help but at times uh feel immense disappointments when the when everyone around me seems to be takers yep how do i reconcile that with what you just said that was my life and so i lived in resentment and frustration which means it wasn't gratitude and generosity

And I was a giver, giver, giver, people pleaser. And I just attracted takers because I did it out of a wound of needing these people to like and accept me. So for most of my life until literally about four years ago, I started to recognize and create awareness around it and say, being a giver doesn't feel good when it's

When you're not communicating clearly, when you have an expectation that you're wanting something in return and they don't give it to you, it doesn't feel good. When you're doing it with takers only, if you're only the one offering to pay for the bill at dinner and they're not offering as well, and if you don't allow people to get... You might have also...

created a block for people to give back to you because you're the giver always. You say, I got this. Like, no, don't worry about it. I'll take care of it today. And they're like, okay, well, if you really don't want me to give to you as well, you're blocking the flow of abundance energetically from someone else's generosity. So you're blocking them giving you and you're conditioning them. Maybe it only took three or four times to say, hey, guys, I'll go out and I'll grab drinks tonight and I'll do this. And don't worry about it. I'll take care of it. Don't worry. And they tried to give to you and you said, no, thank you.

So you're saying no to money, no to opportunities, no to generosity, and then you feel resentful when they stop trying to give. I'm not saying that's what's happened, but I know that happened to me. Because when I started making money, I felt guilty, and I also felt like I needed to pay it back constantly to people when I was broke. So I was always like, I'm going to pay for everyone. And then I felt like everyone was taking advantage of me. But I wasn't being an open channel to receive money.

And so one, you may need to have a courageous conversation with the people in your life and say, hey, guys, I want to create a better relationship where we're giving and receiving each other. And I know I've conditioned and I've been in this space where I'm always giving and trying to take care of people and always showing up for everyone else. Sometimes it doesn't feel good. And I'm not blaming any of you here. This is me thing. But I want to get better at receiving. I want to get better at asking for help.

And this is my request moving forward. So it's always going to come from a conscious conversation and a courageous conversation of vulnerability lens. You can't say, you guys are all freaking takers. No one shows up for me. I'm always giving. You can't come from that space. That's not generosity in your heart and how you communicate. That's not gratitude. That's frustration. So coming from a place of having courageous conversations and seeing if the energy shifts. And if not, you may need to just look for some new friendships.

and find givers. You know, my intimate relationship now with my wife, I was in seven long-term relationships where I felt like I was the giver and they were the taker. Now that's my interpretation. They may have thought something different. But I attracted these relationships out of a wound and out of scarcity. And I came from a rescuing mindset. Let me take care, which is kind of like selfish in a sense. I'm better than, I can help. It's kind of like an ego thing.

It was unconscious though, based on a belief in my nervous system. And when I started to heal that, I met a giver and I was able to receive love, receive other things, gifts, receive in a different way because I matched myself with a giver rather than me being a giver matching with a taker.

So it's going to be a reflection inside of you having courageous conversations. Maybe you need to meet some new friends as well who are givers that you see these people give, give, give. And they don't ask for anything in return. So it feels better. But it's a journey, man. It's a journey. Thank you very much. Yeah, hopefully that's helpful. Is that helpful? Absolutely. And on that note, it truly is a journey. Lewis, thank you for being here with us today. Thank you for who you are and what you do. Appreciate it, man. Thank you, guys. Thank you, guys.

Thanks for listening. You can watch this episode and tons of other great content at youtube.com slash talks at Google. Talk soon.