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cover of episode How to Repair a Broken Relationship at Work

How to Repair a Broken Relationship at Work

2024/11/27
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HBR On Leadership
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Amy Gallo
通过播客和媒体贡献，帮助女性应对工作场所中的心理健康挑战。
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Amy Gallo: 修复破裂的工作关系需要付出努力，但回报丰厚，尤其关系到生产力和绩效。即使是最紧张的关系也能修复，积极的转变能使关系更强大、更有韧性。但修复关系需要认真努力，许多人宁愿降低期望也不愿处理问题。然而，付出努力通常是值得的，尤其当你的生产力和绩效受到影响时。 修复关系的第一步是放下自我，不要纠结于谁对谁错。我们常常专注于谁对谁错，而忘记了修复关系的关键。即使你确实是对的，这种分心也会阻碍你修复关系的进程。这需要你成为一个更宽容的人。 修复关系时，不要过度分析负面细节，而应关注过去有效的方面、你欣赏对方的特质以及你对关系的期望。如果过去的关系从未有效，并且你真的找不到你欣赏对方的任何方面，那就专注于最后一点：你想要什么。这将使事情向前发展。 在关系有所改善后，可以尝试给予对方建设性的反馈。人们并不总是知道自己是如何被感知的，如果同事与你的行为经常阻碍他们的职业发展，你可能正在给他们提供他们实际可以使用并会欣赏的消息。关注他们可以控制的行为。描述它们如何影响了你和你一起的工作，目的是支持改变。你精心设计的反馈可能会帮助他们发展更大的自我意识并提高他们的效率。 修复关系的原则：重建信任、在中立环境下沟通、细微地改变行为方式。避免纠结于谁对谁错，以及期望立即见效。 Susan David: 工作关系问题存在两种极端：过度胜任（停留在礼貌寒暄）和过度挑战（持续冲突）。为了放下自我，可以想象对方背上贴着“我错了”的标签。修复关系应采取以解决方案为导向的方法，而非诊断性方法。关系的真正转变发生在日常行为中，而非关键时刻。 Brian Uzzi: 与其空谈信任，不如通过实际行动来展现信任，例如无条件地提供帮助。 Caroline Webb: 通过高质量的问题，而非简单的问候，可以建立联系并了解对方。高质量的问题可以建立共同的心理空间，促进连接。

Deep Dive

Key Insights

What are the two ends of the spectrum when it comes to relationship problems at work, according to Susan David?

Susan David identifies two ends of the spectrum: the 'overcompetent' end, where relationships remain superficial and polite, and the 'over-challenged' end, where interactions are actively disagreeable and tense.

Why is empathy considered the foundation of healthy work relationships?

Empathy allows individuals to understand their coworker's perspective, fostering curiosity and compassion. It helps reset the emotional tone of the relationship by asking questions like 'How do they see things?' or 'What do they want from the relationship?'

What is a practical way to build trust in a broken work relationship?

Brian Uzzi suggests offering something to the other person without expecting anything in return. This activates the law of reciprocity, encouraging natural give-and-take, which is essential for rebuilding trust.

How can asking 'quality questions' help repair a work relationship?

Quality questions, such as 'How do you think that meeting went?' or 'What are you working on at the moment?', signal that you value the other person's opinion. They help establish a shared psychological space and create a connection beyond superficial interactions.

What is the importance of focusing on behaviors when giving feedback in a work relationship?

Focusing on behaviors that the other person can control helps them understand how their actions affect you and your work together. This approach supports change, increases self-awareness, and improves their effectiveness without making them defensive.

Why is it important to avoid rehashing negative details when repairing a work relationship?

Rehashing negative details, such as who said what or why, is generally unproductive. Instead, focusing on what worked well previously, what you like about the person, or what you want from the relationship helps move things forward in a constructive way.

Chapters
This chapter explores the possibility of repairing strained work relationships, highlighting that even the most challenging relationships can be improved, leading to stronger and more resilient connections. However, it emphasizes that fixing such relationships requires significant effort and commitment.
  • Repairing broken work relationships is possible and leads to stronger connections.
  • Fixing relationships takes serious effort; many opt for lowered expectations instead.
  • The hard work is often worth it, impacting productivity and performance.

Shownotes Transcript

Are you stuck in a negative rut with someone at work?

HBR contributing editor and workplace conflict expert Amy Gallo says repairing a broken professional relationship will improve your work life — whether it’s your boss, a coworker, or even your employee.

In this episode, she breaks down the different types of relationship conflicts that are common at work and the steps you can take to move forward — starting with more empathy and less ego.

Key episode topics include: leadership, careers, managing conflicts, difficult conversations.

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HBR On Leadership curates the best case studies and conversations with the world’s top business and management experts, to help you unlock the best in those around you. New episodes every week.

· Watch the original HBR Guide episode: Fixing a Broken Relationship at Work (2024))

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