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This is an All Ears English podcast. Should you say, I don't care?
Welcome to the All Ears English podcast, downloaded more than 200 million times. Are you feeling stuck with your English? We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection. With your American hosts, Lindsay McMahon, the English adventurer, and Michelle Kaplan, the New York radio girl, coming to you from Colorado.
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Today, we answer a listener question. Sometimes you might hear native speakers use the phrase, I don't care. Should you use this? Today, get our opinion on the situations where it's okay and the many times you should avoid it.
Hey listeners, Lindsay here. On this show, we believe in connection, not perfection. But to connect, you need to know your level so that you can improve. Take our free quiz that tells you your English level now and how you can reach the next level.
Hi, ladies.
Hi, Lindsay. How are you? I'm fantastic, Michelle. How's it going? Today is a Saturday, so feeling great. Feeling great. Yes, guys. We hope you are enjoying listening on your Saturday. Maybe you're about to go to brunch. Maybe you're just, maybe you're still in bed. Maybe you're sitting in your slippers and your PJs on the couch and drinking a coffee. That's how I like to imagine it. That's what I would be doing. That's what I like to do on Saturday mornings. I like to get up, eat breakfast, get a coffee, and then like read a magazine or something or read a book on the couch. So nice.
Yes. So Lindsay, I have a question though. Do you think I don't care is a rude thing to say? Oh, I think eight out of 10 times the answer is yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. That's my opinion. But we're going to see today with the context, we're going to build a little bit and answer a great listener question. Right, Michelle? Yeah.
Yes, this is a good one. I'm excited for this episode. So guys, remember to hit follow wherever you are listening to All Ears English so you never miss anything from us. We are coming out with episodes all the time. We do bonus episodes and we just make it easy. Have them come to you. Yeah, we do this for you guys. Our philosophy here is connection, not perfection. And that means we're going to show you how to...
create human connection in any situation, even if you're making mistakes, it's okay. All right. So if you believe in human connection, when it comes to speaking English, go ahead and hit that follow button. All right. Absolutely. All right. Lindsay, would you like to read the question? This is from YouTube. I would love to. Here we go. This is from Leon C.
They say, Hi guys, thank you for all your amazing episodes. I have a question about I don't care. Because of my personality, I avoid saying it and I use other words. But I do hear Native American English speakers using it sometimes. Can you please explain when and how to use it?
Fantastic question. Yes. This is a good question. I had to think about this one. So, I mean, Lindsay, you kind of already expressed your immediate reaction is so eight times out of ten rude. That's what you think?
I kind of think so, but I'm interested to see the examples we build out today. I'm going to reserve my opinion, but when I just as a gut reaction, yeah, I don't, I try to avoid this. It feels a little abrupt, I think. Okay. Yes. So it definitely,
depends on the context. So we're going to go through it, Lindsay, and hopefully that'll help you decide more of your opinion. But I think we're pretty much in agreement. So let's talk about first why we think Leon is asking this question. So if you use this when you're talking about something you should care about, it can be extremely rude. And that's what I think the key is here. So if it's something you should care about,
And you say, I don't care. That is very, very rude. If it doesn't matter, it's probably okay. So it's probably okay. I think it's probably okay, but I would still say it's annoying for people to hear. Like when it comes to choosing, yeah, the first example we have, choosing where to have dinner, it's better to have an opinion. Maybe that's a different topic for another day, but...
When you say, "Oh, where do you want to have dinner?" "Oh, I don't care." I've tried to get away from this lately, you know, by either having an opinion or just, I don't know, the "I don't care" kind of feels a little too blase, a little too like, "I actually don't care." But you do care because you want to go out for dinner with your friend. You want to have a nice experience.
Right. Yeah. Right. No, I agree. Yeah. So if you say, oh, they give you two options to say, I don't care. They both sound great. It's probably OK. So I've I've I've separated these into probably OK and not OK. Yeah. So notice I don't have a category for a great, awesome time to use it. And at the end of the episode, we'll give you some better alternatives.
For some reason, I just feel like the phrase, I don't care, it has, I don't know, it just, it is okay in this scenario, right? What we're going to share, but just
just feels a little indifferent, expressing indifference in a more negative way, if that makes sense. So what about in this example? Okay, so let's say somebody made a mistake and they think you're going to be angry about it. Oh, yeah. So this is an interesting one where it might be okay. So, for example, your friend was getting your groceries and they picked up the wrong brand of pretzels. They were doing you a favor and then, you know, it's the wrong brand. So they said, say, oh, I'm so sorry. And then you might say...
"Oh yeah, oh I don't care. "The brand totally doesn't matter to me." Oh yeah, that's great. So yeah, so there is a use for it when you're kind of appeasing someone in a sense. - Right, you're saying, it's kind of like saying, "Oh, it's okay."
It doesn't matter. Right. Right. Because you're literally saying it doesn't matter. So that's the right time to express that you don't care. Right. Not not as much when it's like choosing a restaurant where, well, you don't care. Then why are we even going out? Right. Why don't we all just sit here? Yeah. Or what about this when you're removed from something?
So it's not so much in your life, but maybe you're commenting on something. So commenting on something in the news, something that doesn't make a difference for you. So for example, I just can't stand watching cable news anymore. I don't care about their opinions. I just want the real news. Yes. No, that's perfect. That is totally okay. That's how I've been feeling lately about CNN. I actually haven't turned on CNN since the election, believe it or not. Oh, wow. With all the talk.
That's how they, it was so intense leading up to the election and they would have random people on like podcasters, not even investigative journalists, just people that are, Hey, let me tell you my opinion. That's how that would be the perfect scenario to say this. I don't care about what these people think. I want the real news. Tell me what's going on in my local community. Right? Right. Exactly. And I think, like I said, I think that this is okay to use because you're removed.
This is not... You're not going to offend those people. You're not...
It's like another degree of separation. It's just, it's okay. Yeah, you're not, it's not like you're in front of them. If you're in front of them, you obviously, if you're on that show, you don't want to say, I don't care what you think because you're then engaged and you're right next to them and you're having an exchange. It's kind of about how removed are you from this thing or is it actually better to maintain the relationship? Like in the example of the pretzels, you want to make that person feel okay, right? Yes, exactly. Exactly.
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All right, Michelle. So those are some great examples of when it would be okay. So kind of the answer for our listener today is pretty nuanced, isn't it? Yeah, it is. There are times where it is okay. But then when you are maybe making a decision, it's really this, well, let's go over what's not okay. So anything you should care about. So I really think that this is how we can kind of put these things in buckets. Really, should you care about it? Right.
Right. And or or not. Right. And also, you know, how far are you from this situation? So example, a fight with a partner or a friend. Yeah. If you say I don't care in your in a fight. Oh, not good. Not good. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. That's
That's very personal, right? The person's going to take it personally as they should. Yes. Maybe you don't care about the relationship ultimately, even if that's not what you're talking about.
you are kind of saying that in a way. - Yeah. - Right. Or in what about with a work relationship, Lindsay? - Yeah, for sure. So if your coworker asks you if you could help her with something, maybe they're strained for time, you could say something. If you say, "Yeah, I don't care. I can't help you with that." - No, no, no, we're not gonna do that.
That would be a really bad, a really quick way to make enemies at work, right? Yes. So, I mean, and many other situations, if you are close to that situation and you say, I don't care, that is going to reflect negatively on you. I mean, we could do many other situations. We could do more episodes on this, but you know, I think that's what it comes down to is don't just, it's a no, no. If you're, if you're too close, if you're close to the situation.
Yeah. So I think, I mean, as we're saying, it's not that you never use it, but it's you're very selective, right? We're very smart about how we're using it. Now there are situations like when you're scolding your teenager or your child, right? For example, I don't care that your friends all stayed out past curfew. You know the rules. This is coming for you, Michelle. Yeah. Yeah. Oh God. Lindsay, did you have a curfew growing up? I think we maybe talked about this once. I think
I did. I think I did. I feel like I remember 11pm at one point was my curfew, but I really didn't. I don't know. I wasn't crazy and wild in high school. So you know, I wouldn't really stay up past curfew. I never really had an issue. So what are some other things you could say? If you don't want to say I don't care because of all the reasons we just said? Yeah. What else could you say?
These are much better choices for our listeners today. Doesn't matter to me. We can go at seven or eight. Doesn't matter to me. So it's okay to express that you're open and that you don't have an exact plan of exactly where you're going to go all the time for dinner, but say something different rather than I don't care.
Or you could say, it's all good. So it's all good. I know you're running late. Take your time. Right. So if in that one where you're trying to appease someone or make someone feel better about something instead of saying, oh, I don't care. Right. If you just want another option, you could say, oh, it's all good. I like that one. I use that sometimes for sure. Yeah. What's what's another one? Is there something else? Yeah.
Yes. It's fine either way. Or you could say, I'm good either way. So both places sound nice. I'm good either way. Yes. Yes. And I love that. So just better, again, okay to be indifferent. I still recommend having an idea of where you want to go, let's say for the dinner choice, or just having opinions about things in general. It just makes you kind of a more interesting person. But these are better alternatives instead of I don't care.
For sure. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So in general, if you should care, don't say I don't care. If you're saying I don't care about options presented to you, also consider that same rule. Try to make the decisions and just don't show apathy unless it's expected. Yes, I love that. I practice having opinions often.
you know, experience different. I always use the example of the restaurant, but have an opinion on different kinds of food. What food do you like? Do you like Thai food? Do you like Indian food? Where do you want to go? You know, what kind of food do you enjoy? Then you just become more interesting and can bring your friends to experience new things too. Right.
right yep absolutely so we also want to before we get into our role play we want to say thank you so much to our reviewers yes a special thank you to Marie from Japan and by the way in Marie's review she asked a great question and that question is going to make it right over to our list of amazing questions and if it's a great one we're going to answer it on the show so that is one great way to get your question over to us go ahead and write it in your review
michelle yes absolutely thank you and a special thank you to molly ju as well all right thank you guys leave your review for allers english to let us know what you think about the show and we'll try to announce your name out loud all right thanks guys let's do a role play so here we are friends and we are deciding on how to get to the airport okay here we go hmm so should we uber or drive what
Uber or drive? Oh, I don't care. Michelle, I feel like I'm the one doing all the planning here. Can you help me out a little? Oh, I'm sorry. I mean, really, though, I'm good either way. Maybe Uber? Okay, thank you. I'm sorry about that. It's all good. Uh-oh, things are not getting off to a good start before we...
before we leave on our trip here. Yes. And on a trip, you have to make a lot of decisions. So I hope I'm not like this the whole time. I think we've said before that we would not travel well together because both our partners are the planners for the trips. Isn't that right? Yes. Well, you and I, we would be like sitting in a coffee shop like the whole day. Probably in the airport and never even get on the plane. Yeah.
oh gosh all right let's break this down here Michelle so I said Uber or drive so I'm breaking down my question to make it simple right to get your attention and you say oh I don't care yeah and then I said hey Michelle I'm doing all the planning can you help me out here and you said oh I'm sorry really though I'm good either way and then I do try and I say maybe Uber
And then you, and then I, you said, thank you. And you said, I'm sorry about that. And I said, it's all good. So we're, you know, uh,
making amends at the start of our trip here. So we'll see how the rest of the trip goes. Right? Love it. That's right. That's right. All right. So Lindsay, what's another episode our listeners can go check out? Yeah. 2353, just a few days ago, is a great one to check out how to call people out on their quirks. And a quirk is... What is a quirk, Michelle? We talked about it, but just a quick revision here. Yeah. Something they do...
frequently that's a little bit unique or funny. You got it. Exactly. So go check that one out. 2353. And what's our takeaway for today?
Takeaway is not I don't care. It can be useful, but it's it's not really the greatest choice in general. However, if you're going to use it, make sure you're removed from the situation. Oh, I don't care about celebrity gossip. I don't care about this about this show.
i don't you know it things like that but not something related to your life because that's going to break the connection and make you sound like a pretty negative or indecisive person yes or using it the other highlight the situation that we highlighted is if you're trying to maintain if it's actually useful to maintain the connection if someone made a mistake and you want to make it clear that it doesn't matter to you this would be the other scenario where it would be strategic to use i don't care all the other scenarios we would avoid
All right. So that is the answer for our listener today. Awesome. All right. Well, this was a great question. Thank you so much to our listener for asking it. Thank you to our reviewers and guys, thank you for listening. All right, Michelle. I'll see you soon. Have a good one. Bye. You too. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.
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