198: How to Win Friends and Influence People

2025/1/5

This American Life

AI Deep Dive AI Insights AI Chapters Transcript

People

David Sedaris

Ira Glass

Jonathan Goldstein

Luke Burbank

Tami Sagher

Topics

Ira Glass: 本期节目探讨了Dale Carnegie的经典著作《如何赢得朋友和影响他人》及其相关经验。节目中，Ira Glass介绍了该书的核心思想，并通过Paul Feig的经历，展现了盲目运用书中技巧可能带来的负面效果。 Paul Feig: 在父亲的建议下，11岁的Paul Feig阅读了《如何赢得朋友和影响他人》。起初，他尝试运用书中技巧，例如对他人表现出真诚的兴趣，但这些技巧在实际运用中并不总是奏效，甚至让他感到困惑和不适。他发现，这些技巧让他在与同龄人的交往中显得虚假和做作，反而让他失去了朋友。 Dale Carnegie (转述): Dale Carnegie在书中强调，赢得朋友和影响他人，关键在于关注对方的需求，因为人们只对自身感兴趣。只有真正关心他人，才能获得他人的好感和合作。

Deep Dive

Key Insights

What is the core principle of Dale Carnegie's book 'How to Win Friends and Influence People'?

The core principle is to think about what others want and to become genuinely interested in them. By focusing on their interests and desires, people will like you and be more likely to do what you want.

Why did Paul Feig's attempt to use Dale Carnegie's techniques backfire?

Paul Feig tried to apply the book's techniques, such as smiling and showing genuine interest in others, but it came across as phony and calculating. His peers found his behavior unnatural, which led to fewer friends and less influence.

What lesson does Mark Weisenbeek's story about dressing as Superman teach?

Mark's story illustrates that authenticity and passion can make people like you, even if your interests are unconventional. His dedication to his Superman persona brought joy to others and helped him cope with the loss of his wife.

How did David Sedaris's father's behavior affect his social standing?

David Sedaris's father's unconventional and confrontational behavior, such as demanding payment for a dental bill from a popular classmate's family, made David feel out of place and contributed to his social struggles.

What was the outcome of Paul Feig's attempt to become class president?

Paul Feig won the class presidency but quickly realized he disliked the responsibilities. His teacher and classmates were dissatisfied, leading to a mock impeachment, which left him with fewer friends and less influence.

Shownotes Transcript

People climbing to be number one. How do they do it? What is the fundamental difference between us and them?

Visit thisamericanlife.org/lifepartners) to sign up for our premium subscription.

Prologue: Ira Glass talks with Paul Feig, who, as a sixth-grader, at the urging of his father, actually read the Dale Carnegie classic How to Win Friends and Influence People. He found that afterward, he had a bleaker understanding of human nature—and even fewer friends than when he started. (9 minutes)
Act One: David Sedaris has this instructive tale of how, as a boy, with the help of his dad, he tried to bridge the chasm that divides the popular kid from the unpopular — with the sorts of results that perhaps you might anticipate. (14 minutes)
Act Two: After the September 11th attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, U.S. diplomats had to start working the phones to assemble a coalition of nations to combat this new threat. Some of the calls, you get the feeling, were not the easiest to make. Writer and performer Tami Sagher imagines what those calls were like. (6 minutes)
Act Three: To prove this simple point—a familiar one to readers of any women's magazines—we have this true story of moral instruction, told by Luke Burbank in Seattle, about a guy he met on a plane dressed in a hand-sewn Superman costume. (13 minutes)
Act Four: Jonathan Goldstein with a story about what it's like to date Lois Lane when she's on the rebound from Superman. (13 minutes)

Transcripts are available at thisamericanlife.org)

This American Life privacy policy.)Learn more about sponsor message choices.)

198: How to Win Friends and Influence People 59:48 Share