824: Family Meeting
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A quick warning, there are curse words that are unbeaten ed in today's episode of the show. If you prefer a beeped version, you can find that at our website, this american life, at org, that will be easy. Chicago, this american life.

and are a good, okay, so listen, right now we're be a bit quiet because we're gonna have a family talk. Are you ready .

for a family talk?

Bring a that of a big family, seven kids in all, most grave in the united states, but his father and most of his family, mexican, and move back there. A few years ago, back in november, we gathered everybody together for a family meeting. Outside of most of the kids are on a long bench, only pillows.

Lexi being said, this is an important moment in our family, and I agree with her.

Lexi is lexi Harrison gyps, the journalist recorded this meeting because, you know what, some of the kids did not know. The problem was planning to run for a seat in mexico's house were representatives.

I want to work for the government. That's what that means. And since i'm going to be running, it's gonna a lot of work for me and i'm going to be traveling a lot.

I want to be away from home a lot. Um and when we go places, people are going to want pictures. So maybe you're walking with me and somebody to take a picture of us like we don't .

know how how .

we don't know exactly what that's gonna be like, right? Um but one of the things also is that because of certain things that happened in our family now there's people in our town that may not want to vote for me and IT might even cause people to want to be meaning to our family okay. And so I want to to have a talk, mom and I wanted to have a talk with you so that you can be ready.

just ready for the campaign, which is months away. Please call his family meeting right now in november because some things come out that now i'm going affect canada y but everyone in the family in the next few days, what's happened is the a carrio, the seventeen year old has just made a big public decoration or instagram, telling the world that is gay, which these bases would be like, whatever.

But this family's moment, living in a tightened fundamentalist community in mexico, mcara and the other kids go with fundamental, is more in school. They are very much disapproves of homosexuality. Brian figured kids school might start saying cruel and hateful stuff to macro and his brothers and sisters. Already, some classmates were posting a pretty awful comments and instagram, brian went all of his .

children to be prepared. Okay, guys, so guessed. But you know how a lot of time we always want to church, and we always hear about people that are going to date and get married.

Three, the kids listening this are Young with nine year old area, seven year old channel, four year old franco. What that means is that before brian can tell them your is gay, he also has to explain gay, the whole idea of gaining to these little kids.

This is more for yellow. Kay, um, have you guys ever heard of the term gay, gay? What .

does .

IT mean?

So boys that wear necklace asses that are for girls.

good guess. He tells them that off and then want just do this explanation IT that .

gives a simple a lot, but when people can't say the word gay, usually IT means you are two boys that like each other and and maybe someone they want to get married or two girls like each other and that maybe you may want to get married in somebody who feels that way just like, I think I look at mom and I think she's beautiful. There can be boys that look at other boys and think they're beautiful. Okay, that makes sense.

S O around k on to the big review.

我 guess what？ McCarry o he he thinks that boys are beautiful, and he thinks that he wants to follow in love with the boy. okay? And that's what people call gay.

okay? Now that doesn't mean that something wrong with my cardio, my Carry, is perfect, just the way that he is. And we love him, and we're always going to love him.

That's just the name they gave IT. Why do they call boys, boys and girls, girls? There's just the name for everything.

I just said that two years ago, this is not how brian would talk about being gay. He was raised, believe that there was a choice and simply, but mercurio came out to him. Carrey explained that he really tried to pray. And fastest way out of being good IT was as possible. Brian believed .

in you .

change how we saw all IT.

And as he talks about macro with the family.

micro is sitting exactly in between these two little sisters. As they go, gay makes and smiles like a mystery contest in a old timing game show whose secret identity was just revealed .

I didn't really know was going on.

And did your dad tell you, okay, here's up going to explain to the kids in this meeting.

nope.

IT was just, I was gna say is gay and IT lady IT was not very planned.

This is, of course, in carrio he says about good. There's dads say all these things in front of everybody. Next, brand explained the girl ones in the family kids in school maybe pretty mean about my carrio.

I don't need to be ready when people say, oh, your brother is gay, he's gonna to the double oh. That's what people will say.

well.

that what's not true? They eat their mci. Okay.

now that he's going to go to the deal.

So I want you to be ready because little kids can be mean sometimes calls them about some .

of the mean things. Kids at school, there's this one kid.

they are, dad said, they can do anything to legally kicking out of the town, but they can do everything in the world to make IT so that I want to leave on my own. And they just only did that and are doing that because i'm get that's the only reason. And I know that they're just doing that because they then like told her that i'm terrible, but anyone is to tell what person if they are gay.

So I mean, I get where they're coming fun. But like when they started to saying, I mean, started saying stuff about my friends, my friends and like the people's supporting me and then like you guys like how like guy, I said that he was like, no, we can't clean the double for this is their parents feel like they raise him wrong. They like living california stern culture. Every when they said that you just made me so well, that because I like, you can like, I don't know, you can get out of me, and you can think that in this and have all these people were supporting.

So every reason on the same page, all prepared Carry is feeling great about IT.

I think it's very good.

You you got that right. okay? I want to have.

And when they go to school after this prep, none other things that brian prepared them for happened. School made a rule that nobody could talk about. Mercurio over almost the mormon community continued to treat my caro like they always had. All this was so sad for nine old idea to march to school rated a tussle defender book of his brother after the family mining SHE said.

I walked into class and I just said, hi, everybody who's IT going? Anything new happened yesterday and they're like, no. And so he said, well, how about the day before?

No, nothing new. And he said, okay, so he just work on our day. So I don't know. IT didn't seem to face the Younger kids at school. IT was more macias class. You know, I think the teenagers kind of just may be shocked by IT and not understanding exactly what I think.

In fact, some teenagers set off pretty frightening rare firecrest rangers at the house through rocks. Raped pieces of paper with micro s name written on them was scary. Is an adults post to comments online like the cards to find a tall tree and a rope should die.

Brand and his wife windy to go the kids out of the moment school, but the family had been prepped. Ed, they understood that people might get mad about micro. And inside the family, the family meeting set the tone. IT was a premium to strike the member cargan's a non issue, a non negotiable fact.

They really have had little question and not many questions since then. I seem to really not phase them at all. I was just OK. You know, that's cool. What are we going to do tomorrow?

Can we have a snack? Is the rice .

cream that is exactly .

today in a program, the power of a family meeting to drop some news like your brother, gay class people. Remember, I guess we're getting a divorce. Then there are the administrative sort of family meetings. Our parents announce some changes, and now we do the dishes around here, take out the garbage or whatever every is gonna doing their fair share, what a family meeting can and cannot accomplish, especially families with the kids, do not want to go with the parents plan that's show today. Stay with us.

Like one a slow decision process that's mostly, but maybe not completely over. Sometimes when there's a family decision, the family can keep talking about IT for months on a love in the car, nails whenever. But they everybody waiting in with different point of view over the last few months, have been talking to the parents in one family like that. I have ever chat with them in december. I has the dad and the family how often the topic comes up.

We are talking about that almost in every minute of the day, even right now, before you call, we were talking about what we're going to to do .

this is little opinion. And what you're talking about with his wife, my holes, where are they? They going to live next? They're Youngish couple in israel with three kids, nine and eleven and thirteen at the time of this conversation, both educators, he's head of development, building a school in a campus for bEdwards Normative arab tribes. And Michelle.

i'm in an education on councillor.

No, she's a doctor of education. Okay, see the doctor education.

Why do you think you have to jump in and and say that?

Because we can end the conversation without you to know that he really a doctor.

Tn is perhaps if you can tell somebody always quick to speakest mind, sure of what he thinks. A, how smart grid tive they used to have in the couple in israel, kubot berry, on the border with gaza, when I mass. Cross seat order on october seventh, like so many families they hit in the safe room in their house, dozens of the neighbours were killed. More eby area than in any cuba s that day, one intent people, including him, my house, parents, when I was over, they, almost everyone else from the boys were relocated to a tourist hotel by, and I want to have drive from the old home and gaza border.

The whole key boots is here. The hotel is close just for our keyboard. There is no guests from outside.

You are talking about something like one thousand people inside the hotel. You have you have a lot of discussions that just in the lobby.

discussions about where they're going to live next in december, when we first talked to was just two months after the attack. And each family had to decide, will they stay with the community? Would they want to return to the goods where they just gone through this traumatic assault?

It's one, one thousand people. You have a lot of ideas. You have those people want to stay together, whatever the key boots will go. And those are lots .

of people, especially the older people, sure, they want to go back and rebuild. People with kids were all over the place and waving a cuboid quality of life is a big deal as a special kind of tight and community keep team, originally set up as collective farms on socialist principles in the area, is still run on the old school socialist ideals. Most capable team in israel, abandoned, for example, as remember the good boots. You turn over every cent that you're on your job, your entire paycheck, to the collective.

But the keyboards gives us everything we need.

and that means everything to give you a house to live in cars, to drive full health care, gym in a swiming pool and a dining hall if you don't want to cook, and spending money for necessities, but also for fund stuff like family vacations to cover your kids. School and college children spend all day, every day with other kids their age. There's a great way to his kids. They can roll around how I describes. It's a nice back about slave.

This way you don't have any worries, you know, more good or payments, and you have a very strong community that makes you feel belong to something big.

May I grew up this way on this cabots and love IT her time move to bury with her. When they first got together, he changed some of the rules at first. But i'd used to life in this big extended family. Now, after october seventh, here was with all of them at this hotel figuring out what to do next.

And you know, it's hotel is a nice place for three days of vacation, but it's not the way of living you know to see the smallest one go to sleep， but something like midnight. Then you .

you don't have a family environment.

The high long time were in one hotel. The three kids were cooked up in another, getting each other's nerves and into each other's hair. It's hard to be a family, and that scattered situation is hard to supervise the kids. They were gone to network how I had a ninety minute commute each way to inform your job. There was school for the kids, but IT was a makeup thing that could to organized.

not real school. It's more like a baby.

The chAllenge, the big chAllenges for the older children, they don't wanna go.

After just few weeks of this, the time started to think this is not good for a children. Maybe we need, get out of here, leave hotel, leave our friends and family behind.

I realized that we gonna stuck here in the dc for something like six, seven months. It's not the home. Let's do something else. Let's he, my family .

was pushing to look for another place.

Michael was not into this idea at all, a moving away from the hotel, from the other keyboards members.

I understand why he he wants to live, but IT was hard for me to leave the people I grew up with. These are the people I know all my life. So IT was hard for me to understand leaving them for me, I need to get used to the idea. I need time.

That's the process .

with our relationship .

is passport.

is ward. I am a slower person. I need time to do things.

yeah.

So they had to decide that they would move at hotel. But there was a bigger question they were gonna to face some day should they move back to their cabot near the gaza border. Like ever at this point, it's unclear how long the world will drag on.

Over sixteen hundred is realized, have died, according to israeli monetary, and over twenty nine thousand palestinians, according to the gaza ministry of health. Other cuboid nics kubot members told me that they would only move back of somehow there were piece of the border, or you some conceivable path to some peaceful an that would seem fair to the palestinians. So the botnet wouldn't have to worry about future attacks come across the border, which the practical way, probable means they won't be moving back anytime soon because of time. Try to image what they would take for them to return.

You know, you, the time was asking me, uh, few days ago, do you want to go to our home? Can you go back to this house?

Do you want to go back the gravity that ninety two of okey boots members, including your father and mother, murder there? Do you want to go back? We you're gonna ross. The places that you know what happened there, the stories will come out in front of your eyes. It's a question OK.

So feel free to say as much as a little about this, says you want to go to ask you just a little bit about what happened with your family on october. Just the people understand what did is you be going back .

to six thirty am. We had unlovable unusual, massive mrs. attack.

And when I say unusual, it's it's not want to have even one misses, but that was really a massive attacks. So we run to the safe room, close the door. And the first though ahead is okay.

It's six thirty. We probably will not go back to sleep. Let's turn on the coffee machine.

For decades, safeties have been required in all new israeli homes reinforced to stand rocket attacks. Swiming having of town see on the kabba ts watts APP group that attackers have made IT inside the goods, but they swim in small, maybe five or ten fighters, and they assume the army.

I'll be there soon, but minutes after that, when everyone who was saying, they are here, they are there, they are shooting at my house. They are thrown and then just close the door and try to, you know, find ropes and things like that in order to take the handle of the door. Because people who are trying to starting to write that they are seeking to open the safe room and taking people outside and shoot them.

We should explain that the same firms are designed for missiles coming in, not for people coming in trying to break into the same firms. So they don't lack from the inside.

And that's exactly because that's one, you know, huge part of our family story, because something like nine, fifteen miche mothers was writing us in the whats up, the what's up, they are terrorists. They are house. And then there are tourists inside the house. They are trained your needs. They are shooting through the safe room door.

And I didn't understand that my dad was shot while sitting in the in the safe room. The bullets penetrate the door, and he and he was wounded while sitting in the same form.

because brother uw. Talk to the man.

Then he was taking her mom, be strong. Keep the door tie. The army is on his way.

He was lying. There is no army at the keyboards. But SHE that he was a really strong, realistic woman. He was saying to him, now you all, I think this is the last time we are gonna a talk. Please tell everybody that we love them.

The last message on what's up, have me how on a brother saying, mom, keep break all the time. What's happening with you? Mom answer, the mom says dad was shot and the turn gades. They grew up the safe room.

and at ten or four, SHE was writing a on the whats up. Help, help twice. And that's the last world we have. And now, now we imagine that we are sitting in our safe room one minute. Walking from them can do nothing and realize that we don't have any more mom or dad for my hair, grandfather and grandmother for our children.

Do you tell the children?

Yes, they heard. They knew. They kept asking, what about grandpa, grandma? And the only answer I had was, I don't know .

I I didn't .

wanna say something that is not true, so I just told him that I don't know. It's hard to hear that I don't know says at this .

point they realized they need to do anything they could think of to keep their kids alive.

But what I had only is a baseball bat, a dog that probably we've got killed in the first time. They gonna go and they were hanging under a house.

The house fires see me. They were using the storage based on stairs as a small base, keeping weapons there. The family heard explosions and gunfire. The Young gest, the boy again is nine years old.

And my son, in in, in a terrified way, told us that, dad, I don't want to die here. And we look at them and told everyone know no one is gone to die. Here we have the dog, the baseball bat, and we are in the second floor.

That's our focus. And you, all of you are now gonna right? What you're gonna take when we're gonna be outside, when they are gonna rescue us, and they made the least.

And they waited from the morning, all through the afternoon and into the night, trying not to make any noise at all. They had no food, no water. Someone had to pee.

They didn't in a waste basket. Everybody looked away. They were there for nineteen hours with their kids. What did they do all that time?

They didn't do nothing.

We did nothing.

They watch me and walk me up if I was like falling to sleep because I was a handling the handle handle of the door, we baseball bat. And what I did to to tight the door with rope and things like that, they had shooting those where silence they. They were amazing. They understand the situation.

Finally, the army came at midnight and rescue them. When the guys have tell the next day, of course, the kids can just shake this off the sun. Nine year old, I had a full day of whispering in the .

safe room is the most hacking the the frigid one and he kept whisper three days after that in the hotel. And we just know Brown is done and his leg, and he started to live again. So it's okay.

So could there would go back and live a barry do IT really, except to the attack, because I went home again the first time to the kaboom.

To see what was like going back was very hard for me. Uh, when I was there, I just, uh, shut myself. So I just saw everything, but I was very, um, how do you say this word?

I don't know. No, picket, very good. I was very cool. Yes, I like your .

feelings were shut down.

exactly. yeah. I was there for like ten minutes. I took some stuff that my daughter asked and just, I I could stand IT it's not my home IT was so a messy and dirty and I couldn't stay there so that I didn't even .

seem like your home. I just feel like .

some other ones. No, it's not mine.

Other people I talked to who return to the cupid team told me they walking into their homes that was like everything was frozen from when they ran out. I was still at over seven. One woman said he felt like he was watching herself in a movie SHE felso distance from IT. One man told me, tries to go back once a week to try to absorb what's happened.

I couldn't have been set on myself. A, I, I could. I was there just for ten minutes. I, I couldn't stay in the house.

So when you think about going back there, what do you think like going back there to try to live there? How would that work?

I don't know. I don't know. That's the big question. Some days I am talking to myself, yes, I want to go back.

And some days i'm telling, what are you thinking about? This is not a place to live, is a graveyard? No, no, no. I, I, it's still not it's not a decision I can make now. I need more time.

So you go back to the hotel, but they still have to decide where were they live right now, should they leave the hotel and set up on their own in the short plan. But I, rogan, november of time, definitely wanted to leave, but how did not? And then she's all how badly the oldest daughter I I was doing.

Again, I was thirteen in the weeks after october's SHE was the person in the family is struggling the most SHE is skipping school every day and tried to hide IT from them. He just stayed in a room out there doing nothing. This is completely unlike her because says, for october seven, you love going to school when happily never missed today he was an athlete, came up from value ball at seven, three nights a week. And I hang with her friends. She's busy .

to see her going to sleep very late at night and want to sleep late in the morning. Everything he had is not, it's not happening. No school, no learning, no volleyball.

Uh, the only thing that left is her friends, which are confused as he is. So they're like going around, like with with no purpose. And this is what bothers us the most, that there is no purpose for them here. They need something to wake up for IT in the morning. And over year it's a too much pain and too much a dark seeing I O like this.

That's what convinced. But how like what time is? right? They needed to get away from the hotel. The kids needed that.

But where to go? Now I say you talking about this is a couple members of the boats were in a much bigger conversation about leaving the hotel. As a group.

There is so much damage to their good bullets, so many homes and building set on fire, burned to the ground, bombed, hit with grenades and bullets. IT would take two or three years to rebuild before they can move back. So they will go here at temporary places that the whole group could relocate to.

What that happened. And tom is one of the cabot leaders figuring out where they should go. Choice came down to two locations, and tang i'd decided that wanted to go to a piece of village called cma idea, as everybody could move there and heal, figure out in a few years whether they will move back to every or not.

The vote was in every twenty second or town side, lost by forty votes. And the place of both chose and cut therein. Near a big gear base, there was a place that he michan did not want to live.

I knew already. I I knew for sure that she's thinking the same.

Yeah, I remember he told me i'm not moving to heat him and I said, okay.

And I decided they were not gonna with the boats they strike out on their own. So they talk to their kids about this plan. I, A heated IT SHE, didn't want to speak with me for this story, but her parents says he was angry. One thing he still had from her own life was her friends who has gone through this trauma together was still going through IT anyway.

you know, he had two friends that were kidnap, uh, and they returned from gaza weep and and SHE I have also one friend that he was severely wounded and lost her mother and brother so what is dead and what is dead .

and what did he say to you when he was angry about IT just what .

was he saying SHE was he was shouting, uh why we have to um take her a part of her friends and that we're not thinking about her IT was hard to hear you know when you live in the keyboards that the friends are the most important thing I I don't know how to express this in words, but we have this connection that you you cannot find anywhere else because we grew up together. We did everything together.

We hang up in the morning, in the afternoon, we, we, we slap together, we ate together, we study together, we did everything together. And this is what we have right now. And he's gonna lose that.

I understand why she's angry, I understand. But um I don't want that death will be so present in every way. Yes, I don't want IT.

The two other kids were good with the idea of them giving the hotel. The good has told them looking into a car, lungs were together fine. But with I A SHE came back to IT over over IT .

happens all the time there.

Are you sure you wanna? Are you sure you're not? Gonna stay.

explain to iyo that since they really might never move back to early IT didn't make sense to move to the temporary location with their friends right now and then split with them in three years and start over again. Easier to leave now and in age, and you can make new friends SHE told I A that you would driver back to see her old friends anytime SHE wants, but they're certainly SHE didn't say ira.

I didn't tell her that I don't wanna live in a place that morning. Is gonna be a big part of everything. I cannot tell her this.

Why not?

I don't know. I don't. I don't know.

Do you not want to say that to her? Because you're scared that will affect how SHE sees her friends and their life back in the good boots. yes.

You know, just just yesterday they told us that you see her a best friends, uh, father, were murdered in captivity. So it's gonna happen all the time.

The next station was in january. There was still in the hotel. The plan must move february first to house near city called Carrier. I've got maybe a half ha drive from the border, and it's at this point the family got a lucky break, something they didn't expect.

And the school he's gonna go to, there is friends that he knows from our area that moved to the same place.

Oh wow, that's that's really, really fortunate.

yes. So IT makes her art more come so and and these are kids that he knows and and she's friends of, uh, not from barely exactly, but just from our area.

So she's not .

opposite anymore as he used to today was the first day he went to school and steady and open her notebook. Just after three months.

maybe we house said, if I don't understand that things are going back to Normal and is going to have to go to school like Normal with other kids who were moving on.

As moving day approached, fears and the family were all over the place. I was up and down. We were out of down.

I think about dog little kids. They are excited to see the new life. Long time is very excited about this. I am not excited. I feel sad leaving the cubs.

And even though I decided to do that and it's still send for me, yeah, it's not, you know, this is our decision of moving. But I didn't case IT this is make me so sad. They choose IT. They .

decided IT for me. I.

yes.

yes.

And it's hard for me not to have my parents around and not to and ask .

them what they think yeah and you know.

my mom, he was. If I would move, he will come and help me clean and help me decide what to do. And now he is not here to do that.

So every decision is she's so present with her not presence. I didn't know how to say IT. yeah.

They moved favorite first, and I called one last time a few, except that kids are in the new schools. The families running a house autonomic embed ing for what it's going to be like to have their paychecks paid them directly and living the way you and I do where we have to worry about money paying bills. One thing that was different in this last call that they both seem way more certain that they are never gonna ve back to the area.

There's a possibility, sure, but they both said it's likely they never return. I am meanwhile mad all the time. The very severe in hot told me where some before he saw all the time to be driven back to the hotel to see her friends.

She's gone back once a week because feels like this is one of these parenting treasure where SHE hadn't got on mather. I call to get the family away from the hotel, start a new wife. That doesn't make you feel any Better. You don't me shops some day. I will understand and even forgive them for IT.

Coming up, if you know, inspire e, your family at a family meeting once a week, every single week after a while. Have you come up with anything original to say that's in a minute from chicago ove a radio one. Her program continues.

This american life from our glass today show family meeting stories of people who care about each other, or are supposed to care about each other coming together to figure stuff out. And of course, these sort of meanings happened in non family settings. Also, I personally find IT revoting when any boss for first to his employees as family.

But I acknowledge there is an entire workplace version of this. And of course, there's a whole tradition of this in sports, high school sports teams. But the court sits, everybody down for the big, come to jesus, talk about how things have been going and what needs to happen next. What if our producers, Chris ender, ever was looking head of the stuff that high school coaches said a teens, the big games, if had a lot of going to get out there and crush them also a lot of the underdog version of that, nobody believes in us, but I believe in us. And then he went across one speech, will go to try a different approach, kind of striking.

I see, you .

know, the ku and public texas. The thing is the see or high school hide long orns the coach joe a quire. The playoffs they lose this game seasons over, the team is ready to go .

out onto the field. This is a lot different. Your week by week six, there's always another week seven. We don't take care business.

You see IT and coming .

back in the last world of next week, if you care about each other enough like we talk about, if you care about love each other like we talk about, do you have a six r cy to get one more week when you been.

Smart right? When and we get one more week together.

a particia crease .

wondered if this was moved, that the coach uses a lot. So we caught up coach magar, who said, yes, he has said this before. In other playoffs, he says, is also a thing he feels i'd talk all the time about being a family and being more than just a team.

And um I was such a huge game. I mean, party fifteen thousand people. It's two of the best teams of the nation.

These are texas high school teams working the way up to a state championship. Long words were playing the Carol high school dragons go to require, says he needed. If they lost that game, they're about to play. The road is feel like something when you lose at the end of the season that people you're gonna play together again. It's almost like there's a death like most people don't talk about um that the day could be the last game and so that was my point saying to want .

you guys play football, we just keep to play football together because this is the brother hood is in a moment to keep that's to do the night we. We see.

The team and out there in front of others people now ago, we didn't be thirty seven, thirty five around and teen in .

the game .

on a and absolutely horrible call. But we need a hand feet thirty seven, thirty five, a little worse that thirty seven, thirty three. He says the rocker m afford IT was really hard, but even he win the state championship.

But he has, that's our two because that's the end. No more weeks together. Even if they win, there is that loss.

He says he always makes IT a point. Thank for seniors. It's often harvest for seniors. You know, live in the barry.

Two, sealed with the this. So sometimes the reason for a family meeting is a conflict that a kid is having at school. And then parent has to decide, did my kid do something wrong? Where is the problem? The other kid? And this next, the parents have definitely come down on one side of that.

The story unfolds in a series of letters between two moms. It's an excerpt of a short story by the feet. Thomson fires breakfast first by actors easy Davis, american Alexander.

tuesday, october first, nineteen ninety one. Hello, Monica. I'm sure you remember me from the class field trip to the getting in september. IT has been brought to my attention that your daughter for tema may have started a nasty rumour about microstrip. I hope to clear this up as we both know how ugly these .

things can get.

IT is true that Christina's hamster died recently, but IT is absolutely not true that he died .

at chryse hand. At no time .

has crissy ever put his bone or any of her previous hamsters in the microwave, drier or dishwasher. What kind of child would make up something like that? IT sounds.

And I say this respectfully, so I hope you won't be offended, for t has had a very hard time getting accustomed, and that's understandable. But I do hope you will deal with her before any such incidents become frequent. Children who start lying Young often end up with long time patterns of dishonesty. All best doctor lisa johnston, cid licensed therapist, welcome wagon west with primary school events coordinator jack and jill cleon branch.

Monday, october seven, nineteen ninety ninety one dely cinda, I apologize for my late reply, but I only found your letter at the bottom of a team's backpack when I did my weekly cleaning. Thank you for writing to me. Victim's says he only repeated what Christenin ia herself told her.

Many of the tea stories about Christinia this year and last, which I won't recall here, have been disturbing, to say the least, but none is disturbing as Christina's enjoyment of torturing rodents. Fatima has a strong imagination and writes beautiful lytic poetry, which he started reading at age four, but he does not have a history of lying or telling gruesome stories. And unlike krystina ia, he has no history of running off with other girl's shoes while their feet dangle from the monkey bars.

I appreciate your concerns about fatima, and even though Christinia has made IT much more difficult for her defined friends at westwood, fatima will eliminate soon. She's going to sleep over at Emily's this weekend. Is Christinia going? If so, I hope you will encourage to play nice, best. Mongo illis. P H D, P S, IT is true that liars who started Young often in the psychological and social problems of the sort that Christinia has demonstrated over the past year, how lucky for you and Christinia that he has access to psychotherapy through your practice.

Dear Monica, I never expected so much defensiveness when I wrote my original letter. Perhaps you must read IT. All I wanted to emphasize is that I understand why a girl in fatima's position and one with her background would make up such stories.

It's hard to get attention in a new place. There is probably some petty jealousy going on, but I think we can resolve this. I don't know how you did things at fatima's old school in frisoni was IT.

But here we try to help the children work through their problems without getting too involved. I suppose you already know and have known all along that Christinia will not attend Emily's party, so there is no need for me to encourage her to play nice. You've probably heard that history already, so I won't rehash IT, but I will say that IT wasn't crisis fault that Emily broke her nose when he fell.

Finally, and I say this respectfully, but maybe IT would be wise to go through a teams backpack every night instead of once in a blue moon. I have heard from more than one parent that IT smells like eggs. My best doctor, lucena john, and license their best author of train up a child.

Dear lua, or should I say dr. John on, i'd like to resolve this as much as you would, but that won't happen if all your letters begin and end with back biting. I'm not of the mind that the only two black children in the clash should be enemies, nor do I like the attention that draws to them or their parents when they're already in a difficult position.

I would think that a black woman of your stature and success, what understand how isolated work in school environments like westwood can be for people like us. I hope Christinia a and vatican could be friends and can support each other in this space. But it's been clear since second grade that you Christinia a are not willing to make that work.

I'm sure for tema would let Christinia into our growing inner circle, even her after school reading club. If Christinia would only apologize and behave, jealousy can become a lifelong problem. On that note, I hate to bring this up now, but we were surprised by how poorly krystyna behaved when for teen is point won over hours last year.

I'd like to make sure that we don't end up with a repeat performance of that tantrum when the poetry competition rules around this year. Asked with a hard boil dig, we resolve that last ring. And but for tema, a new backpack. And I believe you knew that already. Cheers doctor monticle willis PHD, author of every voice, counts helping children of color succeed at predominantly White schools.

Monica, excuse and formal note. I think you're doing both yourself and fatima a great injustice by continually emphasizing her brilliance over other children. Lots of people skip grades, and skipping kindergarten isn't something to brag about.

I doubt that the standards at her old school, or as rigorously those in westwood, what exactly was he advanced that nap time, if you recall? Moreover, I was there at the recital where for team, I read her award winning poem. And while my doctor ets, yes, plural, may not be in literature, i'm pretty sure hardly anyone would call butterfly pie a work of poetic jenise.

You can't run pie with pie multiple times and call that poetry. You just can't. Even if you have the excuse of only being in fourth grade isn't your degree, by the way? N E D D license a lucena.

I'm not surprised if a team of subtle wordplay was lost on you since it's clear reading problems run in the family. Not everyone is suit for literary work. I'm sure you know that from your own writing struggles and the extra effort you had to put back in your research in order for anyone to take this seriously, isn't there still some kind of issue with your last project in the I R B? Or is the issue with doctor proteins? X wife, my very best. Monica.

Monica, i'm not going to dignify most of your comments with a response. This will be my last letter because I can see i'm not going to get anywhere with you. There are some kind of blockage there that I really think you should explore with a licensed professional, especially if you call yourself a professor.

At one time, I wondered if we were too harsh and recommending that you and your family wait another year before joining our jack and jill chapter. But I can see now that we were right. I'm afraid I can never recommend you for our club.

You display a voluntier combination of residual geo and eatin grand that will be your undoing if fatima isn't sincerely. Doctor lucena m. Johnston licensed their pest other or of train up a child welcome waggon west with primary school events coordinator jack and jail cmt chapter.

Lucena, i'm not even going to respond to that, but I will say that if someone here is uppity is the one of us with two little birds who have run off three o pairs who even uses that term if they're not french. And i'm pretty sure your cousin jani isn't. They're nAnnies.

And if they your own relative, they are just babysitter's or bombs who need to hook up this. And the way that keeps you from connecting with your kids is half of your problem, the other half you probably can't fix without medication. Good thing you can write prescriptions. Oh way, you're not that kind of doctor.

How can I be a beauty when i've never had any help and started out as a single parent before marrying Jordan? If putting myself through school and becoming the highest educated person in my family with no help, but god makes me up at the and so bad, we are humble people in spite of our education and finances, and we have more class in our experiment, then you have in your whole hamster murdering family. And yes, there is a bit of getting still left in me enough to tell you who can finish the fight if I get to that point. We've never too far from oakland or the outside. Let's keep IT real, mona .

Monica, I do believe that was a threat. The clear on police department will not take this lightly and tell fatima to stop painting notes to the inside of crissy s book bag when she's not looking crisis could herself on a dirty safety pen, knowing you people and end up with hepatitis A, B or c or worse. I've tried to resolve our differences by working directly and exclusively with you and their teacher, mr. rs. Watson, but I will have no choice but to contact principal lee in addition to the police if this persists, listener.

Lucena only you would suggest something so disgusting as intentionally injuring a child with a dirty safety pin. And again, IT was Christinia who put that tech on renne taxes chair last year and caused her to need a technical shut. Perverse minds think like apparently lose mine number and address and stop making your kid do your .

dirty work in Monica.

Turn blue, turn blue, turn blue, blue, blue. Look, i've write a poem. Perhaps I should send IT to lady bug magazine. Love lucena .

lucena. You need jesus. Do not write me again. Or I will contact my lawyer. I've asked mr.

Watson to check for team as backpack for correspondents from you. And I have made IT clear that I do not want further contact from you or Christinia. You are not to speak to fa.

Timea either. I'm requesting a meeting with the school Angel Angel husband so that we can nip this crazy mess in the bud once and for all. Monica, jack and geo cloud chapter.

October twenty first one thousand nine hundred ninety one dear mrs. Johnston, em is willing IT has come to my attention that your respective daughters, Christinia and fatima engage in a brutal fight fight at school. As you know, this behaviour violates not only the westwood code of conduct, but also our core values as the school, and is punched by expulsion.

I am sending this letter as a follow up to the discussion ahead. With each of you over the phone, I would like to meet with the two of you, animists Watson. A, S, A, P, my secretary will schedule sincere ly principal lee west with primary and secondary school. October twenty five, one thousand ninety one dear doctor's willis, the schools board night. Thank you for your generous donation and for agreeing to serve on the westwood .

welcome wagon.

Given the sharp improving of your child's behavior, we can agree to with our threat of the team e's expulsion from school. The reputation of our school depends on the efforts of involved parents like yourselves. Since tirely.

principally november .

third nineteen ninety one lucendo a thank you for inviting for tea to crises party. SHE will be happy to attend and thank you for the lovely fruit basket. You so bad, it's true.

mrs. Watson looks terrible in that color and yet, principal, he finds reasons to look. But I won't say anything more and writing Jordan and I will discuss the jack and geo pole with you when we see you XO 马拉卡。

Actors eric sander and easy Davis reading an exhibit of bell let without a mala reading principle lee stories by a piece. Thomas inspires you going the full story in her book of short stories, heads of the color. Singing in kitch. On vacation.

We are taking a chance Better. Got show them.

On the way to the .

city life and re IT be always pretty about you insane. They get out like. Today, by shank, people put together y's program include the of will are managing editor sora a daman or senior editors David customer, our executive editor is a manual berry.

So thanks the day to the entire of libyan family legally breakfast metal ling technical peaching, mark, heat, bandon, bosh and K, U, sports that calm for video of coach Michael speech, this american life is to live with the public radio stations. By P, R, X. The public radio exchanged. This is always to a programme cofounder, train tea, you know, who's just cast in goal theater production of Annie in the title role. Actually, i'd like this way through a lot show, putting any is biggest and most famous song, which you deliver IT.

as that's cool. What are we going to do tomorrow.

amErica glass back next week? The more stories of this american life.