A Romantic Recession: How Gen Z isn’t settling for love
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Hey guys, how many of you can relate to Ashley from California? He would talk a lot about what his views were and what he believed in. And then he would talk about how much he hated the other side and how much like he couldn't stand them and like didn't respect what any one of them had to say. And I would just kind of be sitting there in silence knowing that that was me. And had I said something about what my views were, the relationship would have been over.

It's such a tough one, isn't it? Dating is hard enough as it is these days, but throw in politics, a polarizing U.S. election, and it's just got a whole lot harder for Gen Z Americans to meet their match.

Recent data shows there is a big political divide between the genders. Generally, young men lean conservative and young women more liberal. So how does that impact our romantic relationships? And just to note, a lot of this research relates to heterosexual relationships at the moment. We're asking, is politics becoming a dating deal breaker for young Americans? I'm Mitka Farooq, and this is What's in the World from the BBC World Service. ♪

So remember the U.S. presidential election last year? For decades, young Americans have mostly voted for the Democrats, also sometimes called the left. But now they're voting for the Democrats.

But last year, that trend was reversed. Gen Z voted for President Donald Trump and his Republican Party. But within Gen Z, there is a divide. And one analysis found that 18-year-old men were 23 percentage points more likely to support President Trump than 18-year-old women. And that's more than double the gender gap in other generations.

Okay, so let's get into this then. The BBC's Jasmine Boykin is on the line from Washington, D.C. Jasmine, how are you? Doing well. How are you? I'm not too bad. Okay, so let's break this down a little bit. Why are young men...

and women voting so differently. Yeah, so there's been a couple of factors that have been feeding into this divide. We've seen things like economic frustration. We've seen a fatigue in the overall culture war and things like gender roles and traditional versus non-traditional. And so those have all kind of played into things. But in addition to that, there's been a growing influence of women

not only conservative voices on social media, but like the algorithms that help feed those conservative voices that kind of feed into this as well. And so we're seeing things about how women should act in the household versus how men should act in the household and redefining some of those traditional ways we see that or have seen that in the past in the US. And what about the economy? How does that come into play here?

Yeah, so the economy was a really big talker in last year's presidential election. The cost of living has gone up. There's always been this key little phrase about the cost of eggs, the cost of eggs, but the cost of eggs were really high. I can also speak to that personally. And so a lot of people who...

felt like the economy wasn't working in their favor, turned to other candidates or other parties who had promised to bring those prices down. So if men and women are both feeling the economic crunch or feeling the hard times, why is it men are leaning more conservative?

Well, thinking about in the United States, men have often been seen as having a lot of resources given to them. And so with recent decades in the recent years of advancement among women, among minority and other communities, we've seen...

an equal footing to men in terms of the amount of career prospects they have, in terms of attaining a higher education, things like that, which has boosted their economic standing. So sometimes younger men or just men in general in the United States can often feel very vulnerable. They don't feel like they have that same footing that they had before and that they're being left behind. And so that could attribute to this divide as well.

And is this something we're seeing, this trend only in the U.S.? Is it a global phenomenon? It is a global phenomenon. And I've been looking at some research and analysis from a lot of other Western countries, including Germany, Australia, South Korea, where we've seen this divide. I think a great example

A great survey that I've seen is from Australia's E61 Institute, which is a nonpartisan economic research institute. They released a survey that found that Gen Z men were found to be more traditional than their previous two generations compared to female Gen Z members that they studied. And so they relied on traditional as a

who leads a household or who should be the breadwinner and things like that. So although it's not as black and white as like Democrat and Republican in the United States, we've seen similar trends of conservatism rise in other countries as well.

So if Gen Z men and women are becoming more divided, Jasmine, what does that mean when it comes to dating? That is a very difficult question. I will say when it comes to dating, the really interesting thing about Gen Z is that they view their political affiliation as part of their core values, who they are as a person, how they see the world and how they navigate throughout it. I know in a lot of my research, I've talked to a lot of women and mentioned that even

Even if a guy thinking about dating apps, if a guy has conservative on his profile or has Republican on his profile, it's an immediate left swipe. They're not even interested in getting to know him further. And so it just goes to see how stark and how staunch a lot of members of Gen Z are that they're not even willing to entertain or have a first date to further talk and, you know, hear potential suitors out because they're just so staunch in their beliefs because they see it as who they are.

And speaking of how this all ties into dating, we're about to move on to that. But Jasmine, thank you so much for joining us today. Thank you, Icaro. Have a good one. Let's hear a few more views from people who've dated across the divide. One Trump voter is Chamobi, a 23-year-old economics student. Yes, I do have experience dating multiple women who have a different political affiliation. And I

It didn't necessarily go that well. Yeah, so we did have some challenges. One of those challenges was mainly the effort to get me to vote for the same person they were voting for. And it just didn't align with my personal views. So whenever visiting family, there would always be talks that come up, especially at those Sunday dinners. Yeah, so the main topic that we had to stay away from was just

And here's Rumi from California.

I would not say that I've dated someone like completely staunchly different. I've more so like the farthest I've gone is like maybe like a moderate or someone that is differently politically aligned than I am on like single issues rather than like entire political affiliation. And from that experience, it was definitely interesting because in conversations when I would like speak about like different issues,

beliefs that I have, there would be a little bit of a disconnect. And it really made me realize that I do need to be with someone that is politically aligned with me. And if you're wondering, hasn't there always been a gender divide when it comes to voting and people wanting a partner who aligns with their political views? Well, the data shows that this divide is bigger amongst younger people and it's more of a deal breaker for Gen Z than older people.

Okay, guys, now we have an appointment with a dating coach. Hi, this is matchmaker Maria, Maria Avgatidis, and I run Agapi Match, which is a matchmaking service based out of New York City. Hey, Maria. Okay, so be honest with me. When it comes to couples...

Do they need to have similar political views to go the distance? You know, when I started my company 16 years ago, the answer was no. But as time has progressed, as we've all fractured into different silos of how we receive information and by information, I mean just the news.

As a result, I would tell you that it's actually a lot harder to date someone who might not vote like you. But even if someone does vote like you, there's still a lot more to long-term compatibility than who you voted for. I wanted to bring in some of those stories that maybe people have come to for young people. What sort of issues are they coming to you with when it comes to the politics?

We used to not ask about politics. It actually came up to us back in 2016, where suddenly some of our potential clients or clients or matches started telling us, you know, if they voted this way, then I only want to date that kind of person. Or if they didn't vote for this, I don't want to date them or whatever it was. So we had to start changing our matchmaking process to include those questions because it started becoming the number one deal breaker.

Number one deal breaker before 2016 was smoking. And then a new deal breaker was put in. And that was the Trump deal breaker. It started first with our clients who may have supported him, who said, I only want to date people who support him as well. And then there were clients who did not support him, who said, I don't want to date someone who also supports him. And so, Maria, I'm not sure what you're telling them. Do you think they should be asking these kind of questions from the get go then, from the first date? I don't think so.

You should be asking questions about who you voted for on a first date. But I do think you should be a lot more choosy on who you go on first dates with. And that is because I see that, you know, for a lot of people in the United States, especially your politics are tied to your moral compass. The things that people are debating here on dates are.

which is very weird, are things that don't really exist in Europe. So like a really good example is one of the biggest deal breakers now is what are your views on a woman's access to health care?

I think that you do have to agree on certain realities before deciding to go on a first date with them. However, I do have a caveat for this, and that is that we also have to know that not everyone listens to the news. Not everyone is really political. So if politics are not really important to you and you don't really follow current events, then chances are that you might be actually a little bit more open-minded of who you go out with.

And Maria, what if it's a bit further down the line and I've caught the feelings for someone, I think I might be in love with them. When are those kind of political differences too much to break through?

I'm going to be real with you. I haven't seen that happen in years. So to me, this is like lore. This is mythology. I just haven't seen it. It's been years where I have personally seen someone say like someone who is passionate about current events and politics date someone long term with someone doesn't necessarily see the world in the same moral compass. Hmm.

And I know you've written about how star-crossed political lovers go way back. This isn't a new thing, right? No. I guess, you know, the world is so polarised at the moment. Is it becoming more of a hurdle, would you say?

So as you mentioned, like politics have always been part of dating. It's just how we talked about them has changed. The thing that I most love about younger people right now is that they have such a value on authenticity and just being real. And that's really refreshing to see because I think

Gen Z especially is way more open to having these hard conversations quicker than other generations would. You know, in the past, it would be so impolite to talk about politics or religion on a first date. But now, you know, Gen Z is like, here's all my cards. Are we going to do this or not? And I think it can be really hard if you are someone who participates in, you know, the conversation of politics. It can be really hard to

to date someone who does not share in the same reality as you. Food for thought on the deal breakers. Thank you so much, Maria. Thank you. Okay, so let's say you've heard all that and you're still keen on pursuing a romantic relationship with someone with an opposing political view. How can you make that work?

Here is Jenny Rosier, a professor of communication and interpersonal relationships at James Madison University in the US and the host of the Love Matters podcast. I really think that there's this agree to disagree and anyone who's been married for a long time can tell you that political views is not the only thing that you're going to agree to disagree on. And so I'm

You can also focus on the common ground, like where your goals actually do align. Even if you have different opinions or different methods for achieving those goals, maybe, you know, your goals are the same and your values are the same. And then, you know, you should really try to create a safe space with you and your partner where you're going to be able to have like those important political discussions that don't

end up being personal attacks or contempt. And there you have it. Thank you for listening to this episode of What in the World on the BBC World Service. I'm Iqra Farooq. There are a lot more dating episodes for you. Just scroll back on the episode page and you'll find them. And we'll see you next time. Bye.