Releasing the Past
The successful person takes this approach: Learn from past mistakes and make adjustments in future behavior. The strategy of berating yourself for past conduct solves nothing and only serves to lower your self-esteem. You create a vicious cycle where negative experiences and negative feelings are reinforced, which leads to more negative outcomes and more negative feelings.
If you insist on dwelling in the past, I suggest that you focus on your past successes. Visualizing and thinking about past successes is an excellent way to build confidence and self-esteem. What you think about is what you become. Therefore, when you concentrate on your successes, you help to create future successes.
When you find yourself starting to dwell on past negative experiences, immediately halt and remind yourself: "There is nothing I can do now which will change what happened. I learned a valuable lesson and will act in a more constructive manner next time."
Regardless of what you have done--or failed to do--the only sane approach is to accept it and move forward.
往事如烟
大凡成功的人都会采取这种作法：从过去的错误中吸取经验教训，并为将来的行为作适当的调整。为过去的行为而责备自己的这种方式并不能解决任何问题，只能挫败你的自尊心。你因此而制造了一个恶性循环，消积的经历和感受并再次被强化，同时导致了更多的恶性结果和消积的情感。
如果你坚持沉湎于过去，我建议你多想想你过去的成功。回忆过去的成功是重建信心和自尊的很好方式。你所想象的也就是你会最终成为的。因此，当你集中精力思考成功时，你也正在创造将来的成功。
当你发现自己开始沉湎于过去的消积经历时，立即停止，并提醒自己：“我现在这么做并不能改变已经发生了的过去。我从过去中收获了宝贵的经验，并将会以更积极地态度去面对人生。”
不管你曾做过什么，有过何失败，唯一理智的方式是接受你的过去，并积极前进。
