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Welcome, Weirdos! I'm Darren Marlar and this is Retro Radio – old time radio in the dark, brought to you by WeirdDarkness.com. Here I have the privilege of bringing you some of the best dark, creepy and macabre old time radio shows ever created.
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Now, bolt your doors, lock your windows, turn off your lights, and come with me into tonight's retro radio, old-time radio in the dark. The CBS Radio Mystery Theater presents... Come in. Come in.
Welcome. I'm E.G. Marshall. Gold. By dictionary definition, a yellow metallic element malleable and impervious to rust. Symbol, AU. Atomic weight, 196.967. Specific gravity, 19.3 at 20 degrees centigrade.
By other definition, because of its scarcity and resistance to corrosion, the most precious and desirable metal in the world, and also the most corrupting. Since time immemorial, men have sought it as the highest boon. For the same length of time, they have found it can be the most dread of curses.
If there is gold there, I'll tie off a line and send up the balloon float. I may need an ascent link to it. Speaking of torches, you'll need a submarine lap. Yeah. Oh, come on, Jinx. Don't look so gloomy. I am not gloomy. I'm scared. I'm scared to death. Of what? I don't know, Hank. I wish I did. Don't be silly. Give me my diving helmet. Take a good look at me.
This may be the last time you'll see me. You mean... The next time I'll be a new man with my pockets lined with gold. I know Lady Luck has finally blessed me. Or cursed you. Our mystery drama, Fool's Gold, was written especially for the Mystery Theater by Ian Martin and stars Mason Adams and Terry Keene.
It is sponsored in part by True Value Hardware Stores and Carrier Air Conditioning. I'll be back shortly with Act One. The search for buried treasure always has a lure of romance. It's very easy to forget that underneath the urge to find it is buried one of man's oldest sins.
The sin of greed. For which, no matter how large a store of gold he may amass, by the terms of Christian ethic, he must finally pay the price. All of which is the story of Hank Levitt. Thank you, Stuart. Here's your martini, Jinx. I didn't order a drink, Hank. I did. For both of us. Celebration. Not the way I see it. Oh, come on, Jinx. Let's knock it off.
We're on our way to the greatest adventure in our lives. If it pays off, forget the lean years. You and me, we're going to be Richard and King Might. For me, the greatest adventure of our lives was meeting and falling in love. So you can't be rich and in love, too? Stop and think what this could mean to us. Hank, that's what I'm asking you to do. Well, what's to think? A year of bone-breaking, mind-boggling research that was worth it to turn up the chart. Was it...
Was it worth turning over all those stones and the things that crawled out? Was it worth the money and the risk and all that time apart? I couldn't take you with me, Chicks. I wouldn't have taken the risk of exposing you to that kind of danger. Well, maybe I'd rather have that risk than the other. What other? The risk of losing you. No sweat there. I know how to take care of myself. I wasn't thinking about you. I was thinking about me. You lost me somewhere.
Did I, Hank? That's just what I'm afraid of. I met Hank Levitt my first summer on the Florida Keys. I was 19 and scuba diving was the big new thrill. I had plenty of boys who wanted to teach me, but that's just what they became after I met Hank.
He was one hunk of man. Tall, dark as I was fair. Rippling with lean muscle, looking just as young as any of the boys. Though he must have been well into his thirties by then. And he'd forgotten more about existing under the sea than any of us would ever learn. I flipped over him, as he did with me. And a year later we were married.
He wasn't rich, but my parents approved because he was distinguished. A well-known marine biologist and oceanographer. After I dive, just keep circling slowly. Now, if I locate it, I'll send up a marker balloon. How deep are you going? Less than 20 fathoms. But if it's been moved by the currents into a valley, it could be almost twice as much. You shouldn't be going down alone. Can't I come along? It's a bit rugged for you, Hunt.
Anyway, somebody's got to mind the store. Well, then let's go back into the Tobago's and get somebody to run the boat or dive with you. Are you kidding? You think I'm going to let anyone else in on this? Every treasure buff in the business is looking for the Maurice Anglons. I'm not letting anyone else in on it. Why not? You're not.
You know what the estimates are on the gold alone that she was carrying? Whatever they were or are, they're not worth your life. $30 to $50 million, $100 at today's prices. And how much am I worth, Hank? Hey, would you check my tank straps? I think one of them is buckled. What did you say? I said, how much am I worth? Oh, come on, Jinx. It's just sour grapes because you're not diving with me. Brace yourself in the gun. I'm going over.
It was sour grapes, all right. Because what had started out as an incredibly romantic thrill, the sharing of a whole new world with the man I loved, the exotic, strange, enchanted forest of the seabed and its secrets, had very soon faded from dream to nightmare. Hank didn't scuba dive for pleasure or to further his studies of marine life.
He was a man with an obsession. Hooked like a gambler on making that great discovery, uncovering that fabled hoard of pirate treasure. And far more than me. He was married to another woman, the Marie Saint-Glant. A ship which sailed into mysterious oblivion along with her master, Captain Lafitte. Over 150 years ago, hulled down in the water from a cargo of buccaneers' gold.
A cargo that after 12 years of marriage, we were still searching for beneath the ocean. Jinx! I'm here, Hank. Well, what are you doing with the blinds drawn? The heat really knocks me out, and I...
I just couldn't stand the glare of the sun anymore. I have great news. I've got a boat all set up and a man I can trust since I got his name from old Pudge Gentry back at the Keys. And tomorrow, we're going to prove out this chart and start on our way to scooping up enough money to own more of the world than we'll ever need. Oh, Hank, I already have all of it I need. If only I had you to go along with it. Come on, darling. Let's not start quarreling. All I want to do is stop it. Great, great. Then let's, let's...
Look, we're on the verge of finding what we've been looking for all these years. What you have been looking for, Hank. Not me. Oh, Hank. I've been after such a simple treasure. But you haven't allowed me to find it. What do you mean? A child. Children. Oh, there's plenty of time for that. Is there? I'm not 19 anymore, you know. I'm 31. So?
So what does that make you, Hank? Oh, I know that you don't look it. But if we had a child right now, you'd be deep into your 50s before he was... before she was 10. A bit late, isn't it? Not too late. Maybe. If we got started right away. Well, we will. Just as soon as we... Oh, just as soon as... How often have I heard that? The Marie Sanglots, that damn ship, has come first in your life in all the years we've been married. Oh, yeah.
The one we've chased all over the Gulf and the Caribbean. Who always turns out to be an illusion. Not this time. I have a chart. I know exactly where she went out. A hundred and fifty years ago. You should know better than anyone that shifting tides or currents could have moved her miles from that position. And Hank, even if you find her, how are you going to raise the capital to salvage her? I'll get it. At the cost of another few years of our life?
Is it worth it, Hank? Have a heart, Jinx. You can't deny me one last chance. No, I suppose not. I just wish I weren't haunted by the uneasy feeling that that's just what it is. Meeting Jean-Michel did little to calm my apprehensions. He was fat and oily, unkempt, and looked thoroughly dishonest.
One thing I had to admit, he did know how to handle boats. We headed northwest from the main island. Within the hour, the small island of Monticello came up over the horizon. We pulled in dangerously close to its coral cliffs, then pointed due south and moved on a carefully measured course. We are coming up on two knots from shore, monsieur. Fine, throttle down a little, but keep plenty of way on it. And the heading's steady as she goes.
Let me know when she marks two knots. Yes, sir, monsieur. Jinx. Yes, Hank. Get the lead over and see what we're drawing. Right, skipper. I got the first marker boy ready. Do you need a hand with that, monsieur? No, just keep your eye open for two knots. That good? You got a reading yet, Jinx? Pretty deep. I've paid out nearly 21 fathoms. We are two miles from the island. Cut the engines, let her drift. I have a mark, Hank, 25 fathoms. Good. Good.
There goes marker number one. Okay, Michelle, keep the same heading. We're going to box off an area half a mile square. Rubber up. After we dropped the four marker boys, we scuba dove the rest of the day. We didn't cover as much of the area as Hank would have liked because the bottom began to shelve off a little deeper than I like to dive. And Hank had to spend a good deal of time coming up to the surface for tanks. Grab the tanks, will you, Michelle? I'll leave the shelves.
No luck? You're going... You're not going down again. No, I bought it for today. You want me to up anchor, Mr. Levitt? What for? You're not going to dive again today? No, but it's pretty far back to the main island, so we might as well stay more here. Saves us a lot of time in the morning not having to mark the spot where we left off.
You don't mind, darling? Not any more than I mind the whole thing. Are we going to start that again? Look, the chart makes all kinds of sense. We know Lafitte just dropped out of sight in 1825. A part of what I bought is some pages from the log on his last voyage. He was headed for that little island over there. Yes, I know. But he called Monastil. Monastil.
My refuge. Yeah, he never made it. We know that from records on the main island. Nobody has ever lived on that island except gulls and ospreys. Somewhere under us in the half-mile square of the ocean is the Marie Saint-Glant and all its cargo. Monsieur will pardon me? Sure, Michel. What? It is in your mind to spend the night here of Monazil in this place? Yeah, that's the idea.
And you think that we are, in a way of speaking, riding at anchor over the grave of Jean Lafitte's ship, the Marie Saint-Glo? Why, I... You know of the ship, Michel? And Lafitte? In these parts, who does not know of the great Lafitte and all the gold and jewels and pirate treasure he was bringing back to Monacil?
But the treasure is long gone. If it exists, only the birds know where it lies. You mean he got everything to the island? Long ago, the island has been searched in every nook and cranny. Nothing was ever found. The legend is that he never lived to enjoy this fabulous world. Why not? Are you not the one with the chart and the knowledge, monsieur?
Les anciens say that he came back on his last trip with so much gold that it overflowed from the holes and was piled waist-high on the deck. But the ship was riding so low in the water that somewhere his keel caught on the rocks and he sank with all his crew before he could make his refuge. Everyone knows this? Every one of the sea believes it.
But with all the years, nobody has ever known just where... ...or had the equipment to find the ship. Perhaps you think you can, eh? Have you? Bon chance. But this boat, in any waters between the main island and Monas Hill... ...will not spend the night afloat. What do you mean? I am enchanted to bring you out with the first light tomorrow...
But with the coming of dark, I make for Hubble. Why? Because, madame, the night seas belong to Jean Lafitte. Every night, through the mists, his ghost ship still tries to run their last voyage for safety. Sometimes, on moonlight nights, you can see that old barquentine headed for Monacil and for the grave.
And they say that if you see that ghost ship, you join it on the way to death. Shades of the Flying Dutchman of Legend. That restless ship doomed to roam the seven seas forever. For some crime too great for any universal being to forgive. What was Jean Lafitte's special crime? Just his life?
or his excessive love for plunder? Or is this just another tall tale of the sea? I shall return shortly with Act Two. Who was Jean Lafitte?
He was a privateer and a smuggler, a double agent between the British and the Americans. He fought on the American side in the Battle of New Orleans, and after the War of 1812, returned to piracy and roaming the Spanish Main. In 1825, he disappeared and was never heard of again.
But 150 years later, at least in the small section of the South Caribbean where Hank Levitt is now hunting for his gold, his ghost still haunts the seas. And who knows? Perhaps his ill-gotten gold still lies beneath them to be harvested. I know that ship is there. I know the gold is there. All right. Suppose it is. Then what? Don't you want to be rich? Not particularly. I'm not.
And even if we can organize a salvage company and not get stolen blind and get it up, it's still nothing I'd like to dirty my hands with. Now, what the Sam Hill does that mean? Hank, it's dirty gold. It's stained with blood, innocent blood. And the crimes of vicious men...
Why do you want money like that? The gold isn't responsible. It's how a man tries to earn it. There's nothing dishonest or wrong about what I'm trying to do. No matter what you say, no matter how many years it has spent in the ocean, nothing will wash it clean. It can only cause trouble and violence and heaven knows what much worse if you keep after it. How? For one thing...
I don't trust Michelle. Why? Because he's superstitious? Because he refused to spend a night out there in the water? Afraid of a man and a ship that must have rotted to bones by now? I don't know about that. It's just something else. What? I don't trust him. Oh, forget how he looks. He's a friend of Pudge's. That's all the recognition I need to know he's honest and can be trusted. Not where gold is concerned. Hank, please. Don't you see?
If it's there, he already knows where to look as well as you do. What I'm afraid of is it wasn't superstition that drove him back here to the main island. Well, what else would it be? Well, he could maybe be getting some more men to hide somewhere on the boat so that if you should find the sunken ship tomorrow, they could... Oh, come on, Jinx. I don't know. I'm just scared. Just plain scared.
I'm asking you one last time to drop the whole thing. You've got to be kidding. Just when I'm about to get my hands on a fortune. Now, look. Lay off, Jinx. If you want to walk out on me, go ahead. But nothing, nothing is going to keep me from searching for that gold till I find it. So there it was at last. Out in the open. The end of Hank and me. The open admission that I would always be second in his life. He had gold fever. Gold fever.
And I knew that nothing would stand in his way to satisfy his raging thirst for the metal whose yellow glow casts an enchanted spell that eventually destroys. I should have walked out then, but I didn't. Habit, love, or just this gnawing reaction that the man who was still my husband was in deadly danger of his life. I didn't know, so I stayed. While Michelle is below decks, in case you'd like to know...
I've searched the boat from stem to gudgeon, and there's just the three of us aboard. I'm glad to hear it. But it doesn't set your mind at rest? Do you want me to be honest? No, thanks. I can do without it. Hank! Nope. But as long as you're here, can I count on your help? Of course. But not willingly. I'm thinking of you. Don't. I'm doing just what I want. When I find that gold, maybe you'll change your mind. You aren't sure the gold is there, Michelle? I didn't know you'd come topside. Here, you, uh...
You can take the wheel, Michelle. Yes, I'm sure the gold is here. I agree with you, Michelle. Why? Because the ghost of the ship haunts these waters. For why? Because I think it tries to guard the gold. If you're so afraid of this ghost ship, why do you help my husband look for it? Not for it, madam. For the real ship.
I think perhaps if that is ever found, the ghost ship will go away. I thought you were deathly afraid of it. Only by night, not by day. It never sails, but... Oh, you're all crazy. If old Captain Lafitte has kept you all from finding it for 150 years, it will never be found. This time, I think maybe it will. Why, monsieur? Because of your chart. What do you know about the chart? Only one thing.
If it is right, we have all been looking in the wrong place. You mean the other side of the island, Monacy? Exactement, monsieur. Where did you get this map? I bought it from a dying man. Was the name of the man Philippe Ternel? Yes. You know him? Yes. I knew him once in the Far East in the war.
He was the last descendant of Barbarossa Tornado. Lafitte's first mate. Justement, monsieur. I always suspected he knew where the ship was sunk, but we are arrived. Do you start again where we left off yesterday? You going to dive with me, Jinx? I don't think I feel up to it today, Hank. Well, that's the way you want to be. Hank... Forget it. I get the message. From now on, I'm on my own.
I wanted to try to tell him that he wasn't. That the main reason for my staying aboard was Michelle. To watch him. To try to protect Hank. But there was a wall between my husband and myself now. A wall of gold that was stronger and more impervious than stone or steel. There was no way back, around, or over, or through it. Particularly when late that afternoon, Hank found the end of his private rainbow.
The wreck of Lafitte's ship and his hoard of gold. It was all so sudden and unexpected that when it happened, I froze. It's sitting down there in 35 fathoms. Hank, you came up too fast. I had to. The air was getting low, but I'm all right. But if you get the bend... Let me get off these tanks, Michelle. Oh, don't worry. I'm okay. I wasn't down deep long enough. I'm going right back. No, Hank. Stop. What out?
Michelle, get me the diver's gear. Vite mort. Now, look, if you're worried about the pens, the best thing I can do is to get back down there. Why do you need to? I've got to tie off a float to mark the position. And I need conventional diver's gear to spend long enough down there to make sure of the goal. You didn't find that yet? The gear, monsieur. Okay. Let me get into it. I didn't have time. I just made out the ship and I had to come up. How do you know it's Lafitte? First...
Because it's approximately where the chart said it would be. Second, even though it's a skeleton, not much more than stem, ribs, and a ghost of what was freeboard, from her silhouette, she looms like a barkentine. The kind of ship Lafitte sails. You're determined to go down? I've got to. There's just time before the light goes. And Michelle here will insist on putting it ashore.
Will you stand by the pump of communications? Yes, Hank. Great. All right, give me the boots, Michelle, and go start the compressor. Oui, monsieur. Now, if I'm right and there's gold there, I'll tie off a line and send up a balloon float.
I'll just take hand tools down with me, but I may need an acetylene torch. Speaking of torches, you'll want the big submarine lamp. Yep, and I'll need a belt, too. The pressure's pretty heavy down there. Oh, come on. Jakes, don't look so gloomy. I am not gloomy. I am scared. I'm scared to death. Of what? I don't know, Hank. I only wish I did. Don't be silly. Now give me my helmet. Here. Here.
You better take a good look at me. This may be the last time you'll see me. What do you mean? By the next time, I'll be a new man with my pockets lined with gold. I know Lady Luck has finally blessed me.
Automatically, I gave the helmet the one-eighth turn, secured the clamps, paid out enough lifeline and air pipe to help my husband's clumsy and weighted down in the now unfamiliar element of air. Immediately, he sank down, heading for the sea floor. I watched the windlasses unreal both the precious air pipe and the lifeline with the communication wires. Unwind. It seemed to end
until at some 33 fathoms, about 200 feet,
They stopped turning, and I knew he was on the bottom. I put on my headset, and his voice floated up to me, eerily from the depths. Jinx, you read me? Loud and clear. I'm down. Lucky's descent. I'm not 50 feet from the rest. Heading for there now. Keep the line open. Wilco, how is it? Lucky. It's tough to see clearly. Someone was fogging the torch.
I'll sweat in the air. How can a man with as much knowledge and sense as you, Hank, be so stubborn and take such chances? Because I want to be king of the hell, baby, and this is my big chance. Would it mean anything if I said I'd just rather have the guy I married? I don't know, baby. All signals are off, I do not.
I don't read you. Has Monsieur Levitt discovered anything? Not yet. Not that I know of. I don't think you are telling me the truth.
What right have you got to question me? No, not yet. Excuse me, I'd better watch the pump. Hank, don't send up the balloon yet, please. Hank. Hank. Hank.
But he had cut off the intercom. I couldn't reach him. I glanced quickly at Michelle. Was it just my own apprehension or in the moment I looked his way, had he suddenly become completely concerned with the compressor? I wasn't taking any chances. I was already in my wetsuit. My face mask I looped about my neck. I bent and slipped my fins on, pulling my tanks nearer to me. And the spear gun. I was in a daze.
And suddenly the balloon float surfaced. Has he found Lafitte's gold? Maybe he's in trouble. Hank! Hank! Jink's here. Do you read me? Do you read me? Does he answer? No. And maybe the curse has caught up with him too. But I think we better make sure.
Turning in her surprise to look at Michelle, Jinx is horrified to see the sharp marine axe in his hands, poised above Hank's life and air pipelines, where they are stretched tight over the bulwark, the edge of the boat. It appears that all her worst fears are about to come true. I shall return shortly with Act Three.
Two tenuous threads. One called the lifeline, the other even more important to life, the air pipe. Keep Hank Levitt alive on the sea floor. Above on a boat that floats some 18 to 20 stories above him, his wife Jinx and the captain of the boat on whom Hank's life depends...
face each other. Poised in Captain Michel's hand is a sharp axe, which in one swift chop could sever all communication with the diver. Take his life.
What are you going to do, Michel? Since your husband has found the gold, what I must... No, wait. Wait. If you want the gold, it's yours. I can promise you in my husband's name. You cannot do that. Believe me, we'll give it all to you. I do not want the gold. All I want is peace and rest, as you do. I don't understand, Michel. You do. You just don't want to. We both want to cut clean with the past...
The only difference is that you do not have the courage. Well, I do. No! You cut his line. Of course. Don't you understand he has to die? No. No. If he steals the gold... if he brings back into the world all the suffering... the brutality, the evil and the curse that rides with it... it's like opening Pandora's books again. Lafitte is gold...
And your husband must die. I won't let you do this. Don't make me kill you. Put away that gun. You can't leave Hank to die. I can do what must be done for the greatest good. Gold is a pestilence. A sickness that man can never control. Whoever spreads that sickness must die. I won't leave Hank to die. Then you must die too. At least by my own hand.
Not yours. And yours!
As I backflipped over the gunwale and into the water, I thought I heard the roar of a heavy weapon like an old-fashioned cannon. But knifing into the water, I was too busy with my impossible search for Hank. And then, a miracle! Our paths crossed, and I realized Hank was using his emergency pack to breathe. We surfaced together to find that night had fallen. Phew! Oh!
I thought I was a goner. I thought we both were. Where's the marker? We haven't lost it. Hank, is that all that matters? I found Lafitte's gold. I'm not going to lose it now. The first thing is to stay alive. Where's the boat? I don't know. When I went over, there was a sound like an explosion. Let's try to orient ourselves. The moon is coming up. Let's see. The moon should be black against the horizon. Look for it. I'm looking. We'd better find it.
If the boat is gone, we'd never make the main island. And if we have to... What is it? Look! What? A full-rigged ship. Could that be the Barkington? Without sails or masts, who can tell? I only see the ruins of a hull. Could that be the hull you saw? Yes. And it's the ghost ship. Ghost ship or not, if we want to save our necks, we'd better give it a hail. Help! Help! We're off your starboard bow!
Can you help us? Don't answer. Are you crazy? You want to drown? Might be better than answering that hail. Why? You listen to it and answer for yourself. That's no human voice. It sounds as though it was echoing from...
From the gates of hell. This is Captain La Vita for the Marie, son of a lot. Where away are you? We're away indeed. Were we alive? Or dead? Both of us exhausted by that last desperate race for the surface. In a dream, we floundered towards the ship that offered some kind of sanctuary...
And the nearer we got, it became more and more unreal. The hull was a hollow skeleton, encrusted on its ribs by barnacles and sea creatures. Welcome aboard the Marie Saint Laurent. You are Captain Henri Lafitte? You have the advantage of me, sir. You and your lady.
Permitz-moi. I am Henry Leavitt, and this is my wife, Janice Leavitt. What are we doing here? You ask me? You must forgive my wife. No. I asked a question. May I have an answer? It is not easy to answer.
What are you doing here, indeed? Since, in a sense, I am not here either. What does that mean? But surely you must realize, monsieur, what your wife has realized from the first. That I, this ship, we, are all in limbo. For any given moment, we exist only by chance. And at any further moment, we could vanish like the spray from a wave. Then why are we here?
You want my gold. I have no wish to try to steal it from you. Is that so? Search your heart and find the answer. But if you desire it enough, are you willing to pay in return? I'm not sure I understand. Allow me, if you will, to cite my own case. I, like you, was obsessed, possessed even, if you will, by its lure. I spent my life in search of it. I know. Do you indeed? Forget your history. Let me tell you of the end of my life.
After my fortune was stolen from me in Galveston, Texas, I took again to the high seas. Piracy was not easy by then. The, what shall I say, the pickings were small. But gradually I built a small fortune with the same cannon, one of which may have blown your boat out of the water and into eternity a short while ago. I and my crew...
And the gold you stowed in your holes was stained with innocent blood. May not show more. What else? But it is not a full castle. Head!
came what I thought was my luck, but I found was my curse. Why? Suddenly, off course on her flight to Spain was an old-fashioned galleon fleeing the end of civil war in Bolivia. We attacked and boarded her, happy to find her an easy prey. But at first disappointed that she carried a flock of priests and nuns. A poor lot. Yes.
But then came the glorious surprise. Cargo! I have to laugh when I remember that priest in the Ednan who
whom my mate Bobby Ross brought to me in the garden. Capitano Lafitte, Monsignor Miser Lugos of the Spanish Mission of Bolivia. Because of the war, I am returning to Spain with my priests and nuns of the Order of Santa Maria del Gracia. Here is Sister Carmelita, who is the shepherd of our nuns. Salve. You have killed and hurt many of our people.
C'est la vie, c'est la guerre. But we have no war with you. You are French, no? Citizen of the world. But still one of us. Now, what does that mean? You are a pirate. You don't want me to take all the gold your church has hoarded?
and is trying to steal away back to Spain? The artifacts of the Lord are precious far beyond their worldly value. What you carry in the ship, in gold crucifixes, altarpieces, goblets, doubloons, gold bars and bullion, precious gems and too many other things to enumerate, is a king's ransom. Are you asking me to forego that? These things belong to the king of kings. Correction, Monseigneur.
They now belong to me. Oh, you would plunder the Lord's treasure. If it is made of gold, I would tear it from my mother's breast. Antichrist. Call me what names you will, they cannot hurt me. As for your gold, it is mine.
It belongs to no one else. Even this? Ah, a handsome goblet, Father. Thank you for offering it to me. I don't offer it to you. I hold the host before your eyes. And as you desecrate it, I call on the church to excommunicate. Silencio!
I have heard enough. Not yet. I am yours, almighty father. But for this antichrist, I petition you in all your... Adios. You have killed me. You talk too much. Hear this, El Capitano. You have brought a curse on your head. This curse...
that you will die before you ever reach safe harbor and you will never rest again while this cold is yours through all time and forever you will wander homeless. So, here is the moment of decision, monsieur.
The gold is there. That does not change. Do you want it? I've been searching for it all my life. It is here to take if you want the responsibility. Hank! All my life.
All my life. All my life. I thought I was a goner. I thought we both were. Where's the marker? We haven't lost it. Is that all that matters? I found Lafitte's gold. I'm not going to lose it now. This is the first thing to stay alive. Where's the post? I don't see it. It's so dark. Oh, there it is, Hank. Right over there. Oh, my God.
By the time we both had swum to the boat and clambered aboard, we were so exhausted we just lay like a couple of gaffed fish fighting for breath. Hank was the first to get to his feet. I was still half out, but I came to abruptly with a sudden gasp of horror. Good Lord! What? It's Michelle with the spear from your spear gun through his throat. Is he dead? Yes. How... I must...
I must have fired it to stop him from cutting your lifeline. He wanted to kill us both. Why? Hank, I don't know now. I don't remember what was dream, what was truth. He said he wanted to let the ghost rest, but now I think what he really wanted was the gold. Whatever it is comes back to that. It comes from evil doing. It carries its curse with it.
It's time to stop dreams and obsessions. Let's face the fact. All I ever wanted to do. In time, I should feel the same way. Michelle tried to kill me, both of us. If you killed him, it was in self-defense. To try to save you. Oh, what a fool I've been. Blind to where the real treasure is. I'm going to have to make one more dive. Oh, no. It's not still the goal. Not for long. While I go down and cut the marker line, you burn the chart.
When I come back, we'll bury Michelle at sea and let him and the phantom Captain Lafitte fight for its ownership. I want no part of it anymore. You mean that, Hank? With all my heart. My only treasure is you. I'm just waking up to that. And to a brave new life. Did Jinx and Hank step across that strange border between life and death and meet the shadows of the past again?
Has it struck you as odd that the name Hank Levitt or Henry Levitt is closely akin to Henri Lafitte? And in the silent reaches of the night, how often do we wonder about the crossroads all of us come to in the march down the road of life? Most of us turn one way or the other by accident. To some few, the choice is revealed. ♪
This time, to someone who chose the right turning. I'll be back shortly. The sea between the main island and Monticello moves evenly as it has for millennia. Unchanging, bearing no evidence of the buried fortune beneath its surface.
Like Pontius Pilate, not all the lathing of its currents and its tides will ever wash away the blood that stains the yellow gold 30 fathoms deep. But somehow, for whatever reason, the ghost ship no longer rides the night winds, and at the last, all have come to rest.
Our cast included Mason Adams, Terry Keene, Sam Gray, and Cork Benson. The entire production was under the direction of Hyman Brown. Radio Mystery Theater was sponsored in part by Buick Motor Division, Allied Van Lines, and all state insurance companies. This is E.G. Marshall inviting you to return to our mystery theater for another adventure in the macabre.
Until next time, pleasant dreams. My guess is that you've heard a lot of people talking about Factor, the two-minute meals packed with nutrition.
Up until recently, though, I didn't really care much about nutrition. I was into convenience. Burgers, pizza, you get the drift. But the older you get, the more you realize nutrition is kind of important.
At the same time, convenience is still crucial for me. I am busier now than I've ever been in my life, so eating food fast without eating fast food is a bit of a challenge. Was a bit of a challenge. With Factor, I get to check both of those off my list. I just heat it up, and two minutes later, I'm sticking a fork in it.
Factor is more than convenient though. I don't even have to jump into my car to go through a drive-thru or pay a bunch of extra money so I can wait 30 minutes to an hour for a delivery app to come through for me. Factor meals arrive directly at my door, fresh and ready to eat. And with my new weight loss goals, the menu options are a real bonus. They have gourmet meals if I want to be calorie smart or pack on the protein, go keto and more. They have 45 weekly menu options.
How many weeks are there in a year? 52? Yeah, that's pretty dang close to a different menu for each week. I can use Factor for breakfast, quick lunches, premium dinners, even guilt-free snacks and desserts. Imagine that. Snacking without guilt. I didn't think that was possible. If you'd like to join me on this journey, you can visit factormeals.com slash darkness50off, then use the code darkness50off to get 50% off and free shipping in your first box.
That's factormeals.com slash darkness50off, then use the code darkness50off to get 50% off and free shipping. I'm not big on trends, never really have been, so I can't be trusted when it comes to clothes shopping for others. I'm married to someone who does understand what looks good.
Quince.com asked me to endorse them on Weird Darkness, and at first I thought, eh, that's a bad idea, for reasons I've already laid out. But I let my bride check out their website, and, well, she immediately started shopping for Christmas, birthdays, Mother's Day, Just Because Day, apparently that's a real thing, and now she keeps going back to Quince.com. Their lightweight layers and high-quality staples have become a go-to place for everyday essentials now.
Quince has all the things you actually want to wear this summer, like organic cotton silk polos, European linen beach shorts, and comfortable pants that work for everything from backyard hangs to nice dinners. And the best part? Everything with Quince is half the cost of similar brands.
They work directly with top artisans, so they cut out the middlemen, and Quince gives you luxury pieces without the markups. And Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical, and responsible manufacturing practices and premium fabrics and finishes. I honestly didn't think I needed Quince.com, but Robin says, yeah, I do. Desperately. I think that means she'll be buying some clothes there for me, too.
She's tired of seeing 98% of my closet being weird darkness t-shirts. Go figure. She's also making me out to be the hero in front of my nieces. We got a cute little toddler-sized poplin-smocked flutter-sleeve dress for my youngest great-niece, complete with pink puppies for the pattern. It's adorable, I'll admit that. We got a pair of cotton-stretched skinny jeans coming from my newly-teenaged great-niece, along with a set of organic cotton long-sleeve and pants pajamas.
My oldest niece, the mom in the family, is getting a pair of ultra-soft high-rise pocket leggings. Emphasis on pocket. That's a pet peeve of my bride. She refuses to buy pants without pockets. And we're also sending a pair of ultra-form high-rise leggings. I would look horrible in all of this stuff, but the ladies in the family are going to look awesome. Of course, we'll be going back to quince.com in the next few days to begin shopping for the nephews.
I'm not allowed to pick out those clothes either. Robin just does not trust me. Good call. Stick to the staples that last with elevated essentials from Quince. Go to quince.com slash weirddarkness for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's quince, Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash weirddarkness to get free shipping and 365 day returns. quince.com slash weirddarkness
Okay, yeah, I got to admit, this t-shirt is kind of fading. Hey everyone, this is Keri Champion, the host of Naked Sports. When you sit behind the wheel of the all-new 2025 Nissan Armada Pro 4X, you'll feel like the entire world is your playground. And you'd be right.
because this unshakable fortress of a vehicle is built to take you on your next adventure. With the twin-turbo V6 engine, the all-new Armada is powerful enough to take you anywhere. With its 8,500 pounds of toying capacity, it will let you bring all your toys along. And with seating for eight, your whole crew can join you.
Nissan created a truly capable vehicle in the all-new Armada. In fact, it's the first Armada to earn the Pro 4X badge, which Nissan reserves for its most adventure-ready vehicles.
The Armada is a big SUV designed and built for big adventures and must be experienced to be appreciated. Drive the all-new 2025 Nissan Armada today. Learn more at NissanUSA.com. Intelligent four-wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. My guess is that you've heard a lot of people talking about Factor, the two-minute meals packed with nutrition.
Up until recently, though, I didn't really care much about nutrition. I was into convenience — burgers, pizza, you get the drift. But the older you get, the more you realize nutrition is kind of important. At the same time, convenience is still crucial for me. I am busier now than I've ever been in my life, so eating food fast without eating fast food is a bit of a challenge. Was a bit of a challenge.
With Factor, I get to check both of those off my list. I just heat it up, and two minutes later, I'm sticking a fork in it.
Factor is more than convenient though. I don't even have to jump into my car to go through a drive-thru or pay a bunch of extra money so I can wait 30 minutes to an hour for a delivery app to come through for me. Factor meals arrive directly at my door, fresh and ready to eat. And with my new weight loss goals, the menu options are a real bonus. They have gourmet meals if I want to be calorie smart or pack on the protein, go keto and more. They have 45 weekly menu options.
How many weeks are there in a year? 52? Yeah, that's pretty dang close to a different menu for each week. I can use Factor for breakfast, quick lunches, premium dinners, even guilt-free snacks and desserts. Imagine that. Snacking without guilt. I didn't think that was possible. If you'd like to join me on this journey, you can visit factormeals.com slash darkness50off, then use the code darkness50off to get 50% off and free shipping in your first box.
That's factormeals.com slash darkness50off, then use the code darkness50off to get 50% off and free shipping. I'm not big on trends, never really have been, so I can't be trusted when it comes to clothes shopping for others. I'm married to someone who does understand what looks good.
Quince.com asked me to endorse them on Weird Darkness, and at first I thought, eh, that's a bad idea, for reasons I've already laid out. But I let my bride check out their website, and, well, she immediately started shopping for Christmas, birthdays, Mother's Day, Just Because Day, apparently that's a real thing, and now she keeps going back to Quince.com. Their lightweight layers and high-quality staples have become a go-to place for everyday essentials now.
Quince has all the things you actually want to wear this summer, like organic cotton silk polos, European linen beach shorts, and comfortable pants that work for everything from backyard hangs to nice dinners. And the best part? Everything with Quince is half the cost of similar brands.
They work directly with top artisans, so they cut out the middlemen. And Quince gives you luxury pieces without the markups. And Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical, and responsible manufacturing practices and premium fabrics and finishes. I honestly didn't think I needed Quince.com, but Robin says, yeah, I do. Desperately. I think that means she'll be buying some clothes there for me, too.
She's tired of seeing 98% of my closet being weird darkness t-shirts. Go figure. She's also making me out to be the hero in front of my nieces. We got a cute little toddler-sized poplin-smocked flutter-sleeve dress for my youngest great-niece, complete with pink puppies for the pattern. It's adorable, I'll admit that. We got a pair of cotton-stretched skinny jeans coming from my newly-teenaged great-niece, along with a set of organic cotton long-sleeve and pants pajamas.
My oldest niece, the mom in the family, is getting a pair of ultra-soft high-rise pocket leggings. Emphasis on pocket. That's a pet peeve of my bride. She refuses to buy pants without pockets. And we're also sending a pair of ultra-form high-rise leggings. I would look horrible in all of this stuff, but the ladies in the family are going to look awesome. Of course, we'll be going back to quince.com in the next few days to begin shopping for the nephews.
I'm not allowed to pick out those clothes either. Robin just does not trust me. Good call. Stick to the staples that last with elevated essentials from Quince. Go to quince.com slash weirddarkness for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's quince, Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash weirddarkness to get free shipping and 365 day returns. quince.com slash weirddarkness
Okay, yeah, I got to admit, this t-shirt is kind of fading. Hey everyone, this is Keri Champion, the host of Naked Sports. When you sit behind the wheel of the all-new 2025 Nissan Armada Pro 4X, you'll feel like the entire world is your playground. And you'd be right.
because this unshakable fortress of a vehicle is built to take you on your next adventure. With the twin-turbo V6 engine, the all-new Armada is powerful enough to take you anywhere. With its 8,500 pounds of toying capacity, it will let you bring all your toys along. And with seating for eight, your whole crew can join you.
Nissan created a truly capable vehicle in the all-new Armada. In fact, it's the first Armada to earn the Pro 4X badge, which Nissan reserves for its most adventure-ready vehicles.
The Armada is a big SUV designed and built for big adventures and must be experienced to be appreciated. Drive the all-new 2025 Nissan Armada today. Learn more at NissanUSA.com. Intelligent four-wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. Have you heard the strange tales of the whistler? ♪
I'm the whistler. Look, I know I haven't a chance. I know that I can't live. I can tell by the way that doctor looks at me. And you too. Why don't you tell me the truth? Why don't you? Friday night and again CBS presents The Whistler.
I, the whistler, know many things, for I walk by night. I know many strange tales, many secrets hidden in the hearts of men and women who have stepped into the shadows. And so I tell you tonight, the unusual story of Death in the Air. Death in the Air
A girl, a rather ordinary brunette of 18, plainly dressed, steps out of an elevator on the 14th floor of a swank apartment house and moves silently down the hall, pauses for a moment before a certain door, then turns the knob and steps inside.
A handsome man of 35 jumps to his feet, stares at the girl a moment. Then she closes the door behind her. Who are you? What do you want? You don't know me. You've never seen me before. But I know that you're Fred Blake. Yes, I'm Fred Blake. So what? What's the idea of walking into my apartment? I'm Mary Alberti. Mary Alberti? Does that name mean anything to you? Why, lots of people are named Alberti. Yeah. But I'm Mrs. Joe Alberti. Joe...
Joe Alberti. Yeah. I thought that name would get a rise out of you. What are you doing here? Do you happen to know where my husband is at this moment? Joe, I certainly know where he is. Who doesn't? This morning he was sentenced. By now he's in the state pen. Convicted of murder. That's right. A murder he didn't commit. He was convicted. He had a trial. But he's innocent. And you know it. He yelled at the bank messenger. He shot him. Then what became of the money? How
How should I know? Well, I know what became of the money. You have it. How do you figure that? Joe was working for you. As a chauffeur, he said. And I didn't know any different until he got into this jam.
I didn't know what you were until he told me today, just before he left. And what did he tell you? That you were a gangster. And that he had nothing to do with the holdup or the murder, but that you planted the evidence on him. He was a fall guy. Now look, sister, I run a couple of nightclubs and little gambling stuff, but I haven't yet gotten around to holdups and murders. My husband wouldn't lie to me. He begged me to keep quiet about it because he was afraid if I made a fuss that you'd get rid of me. What a wild imagination Joe has. Joe told me the truth.
Joe wouldn't lie to me. The jury didn't believe his story. He didn't tell them everything. He was afraid. Afraid for me. Will you get out of here or shall I call the police? Nobody knows what became of the $50,000 my husband was supposed to have taken. Nobody but me. So? So, since Joe's been convicted, I think I ought to have the use of the money. So fork over, Mr. Blake.
Well, of all the brainstorms, you expect me to give you $50,000? I do. If Joe grabbed it, it belongs to him. And since Joe's gone, it all becomes mine. Are you nuts? I know you don't carry $50,000 around with you, but you can get it tomorrow in cash. So I'll give you till tomorrow at noon to hand it over. That's 12 hours, Mr. Blake. And if I don't? Then I'll kill you. I see.
Well, where can I locate you tomorrow by noon? At my hotel. Very well. Just take this notepad and write your name and address. And your phone number. Okay. There. There you are. And bring it in person, Mr. Blake. Oh, of course. I wouldn't want anybody else in on this. And if you don't show up with the money tomorrow... Well, I'll catch up with you sooner or later. Okay.
You'll pay eventually. I know you will. I think I'll run up to the penitentiary and have a talk with Joe. He's all mixed up. He isn't mixed up. Not now. No? No, Mr. Blake. Joe's dead. What? Dead. Killed himself on the way to the pen. He knew he was stuck and he couldn't face it. You did that, Blake. You killed him. So now you're going to pay. Through the nose. Good night, you dirty rat. Good night.
For ten minutes or so, Fred Blake sits at his desk, thinking, studying the peculiar situation.
Then there comes a knock at the door. He steps across the room and... Yes, who is it? Carl Winston. What do you want, Carl? I want to talk to you a minute. Okay, come in. What's on your mind? Well, I was told you wanted to see me. Yes, Carl, I do. But I didn't expect you here at this time of night. What do you want with me? As if you didn't know.
What are you going to do about this phony check? Well, I hadn't got the money now, but I'll get it eventually. I've given you a month. Now I want the money. I'll get it. Really, I'll get it. Well, if you can't get it, I can. What do you mean? Your father's district attorney of this county. I'll go to him. He'd pay it to hush it up. Please, Blake. Or maybe I'd tell your father you ran up a liquor bill. Look, Blake, I hadn't got the money, but if you wait, I'll get it. I've given you all the time I intend to. I want the money now.
Put up your hands, Blake. Now, wait a minute. Don't try that bad man stuff on me. Put up that gun before you hurt somebody. Give me that check. Hand it over. Okay, Carl. But you're crazy. Give me that check. Sure. Here you are. Let go. Get away from me. I'll kill you. You crazy little fool. Blake. Blake. Blake.
Good Lord. For many hours, Blake hoppers between life and death. Several times he is revived from the coma sufficiently to answer questions of the detectives. Now, several days later, a week to be exact, the district attorney holds a conference.
Tell me, Blake, on the night you were shot, did you see your assailant? No. Do you remember anything that happened? No, I remember the shot. I pulled a stab of fire in my chest. Came to in a minute or so, I guess. Got to the phone and called the receiving hospital. Then I passed out again. And you didn't see the person? No. Blake, do you know a woman named Mary Alberti? Yes. Was she in your room the night you were shot? Yes. How did you know? On your date pad, we found her name and address and phone number.
What time was she in your apartment? Oh, about 12 o'clock. Midnight. And you were shot shortly after midnight. That's right. You think she did it? I don't know who did it. That's for you to figure out. What did Mary Alberti want? Why was she in your apartment? Well, her husband Joe was my chauffeur. She wanted some money. She figured I'd help her out. And did you? I told her I'd take care of her later. Did you know Joe Alberti committed suicide? Not until she told me.
Did Mary Alberti threaten you because you wouldn't give her some money at the moment? Yeah, she did. Do you think it was Mary who came back later and shot you? I don't know. Could have been. But she did threaten your life. Yes, that's right. Very well, Blake. There are witnesses to this conversation. It'll have to be repeated in court. Okay, Winston. You'll be notified about the trial. Trial? Certainly. I'm going to try Mary Alberti on attempted murder. Trial.
And so Mary Alberti is tried and convicted and sentenced for from five to 20 years. And now, five years, five long years have passed. Fred Blake has become wealthy, the boss of every racket in the county. And District Attorney Winston has been re-elected on a new platform, a vice cleanup campaign. Fred Blake sends for the District Attorney. Come in, Winston. Sit down. Have a cigar? Thanks. Thanks.
What's on your mind, Blake? Well, I wanted to have a little talk with you, Winston, about your campaign. Campaign is over. I've been re-elected. Yeah, but I mean your so-called clean-up campaign. When does that start, Winston? It started the day I was re-elected. I see. My name at the head of your list? I'm starting on you, Blake. And if I put you where you belong, well, that'll be a great accomplishment. I think you're being foolish, Winston. Do you? Why? If you just dropped all this Puritan stuff, I...
Well, I could make it more than worth your while. Blake, I was fortunate enough to be born the son of a very wealthy man. And money doesn't interest me in the least. Money? Oh, no, not money. Something that's worth more to you than all the money in the world. Blake, you couldn't bribe me no matter what you offered. Mr. District Attorney, I'm going to change your mind in less than one minute. All right, Blake. I'm listening. Five years ago, you sent a girl to the penitentiary for attempted murder. My murder, remember? Yes.
Well, you were wrong on that one. She didn't shoot me. What? Then why didn't you say so? I was saving it. Saving it for a rainy day. What are you talking about? The Alberti woman didn't do it. She was in my apartment that night, but she left. And a man came in. He owed me some money. He didn't have it. I threatened to tell his father that he had lost at gambling, and he went crazy. Pulled a gun and shot me. Who was this man? Your son, Carl. Carl?
I don't believe you. Oh, but I can prove it. Look at this. This phony check. That's why he came to my apartment. He demanded the check. We scuffled when he pulled a gun. I hit him, and then he shot me. He left in such a hurry that he forgot the check. I see. But there's something more important than the check. Yes? What? A gun. A revolver. Whose gun? Take a look at it. One shot fired. Recognize that gun? Why...
Oh, yes, it's mine. If ballistics were to check this gun and compare the bullet taken from my chest, they'd find a definite similarity in rifle markings. I see. Well, that's all there is to it. What do you say now, Mr. Winston? You've really got me in a tough spot, haven't you, Blake? If you care anything about your son or his future, you'll forget this cleanup business. All right, Blake, I'll think it over. It's something that can't be decided in a moment. Good night, Winston. Good night.
The cleanup campaign has dropped, and Fred Blake flourishes. He opens more gambling clubs, grows wealthier and wealthier. And a year later, he is a popular figure in the swank set of a southern beach resort. At the moment, Fred is a weekend guest at the beach home of one of the wealthy 400s.
Oh, what a perfectly divine night. Yes, Anitra, I've never seen such a moon. So peaceful and quiet here on the beach. I didn't want to dance anymore. Let's sit down here on these rocks. All right. Anitra. Yes, friend? What were you going to say?
Are you going back to Boston Sunday? Why, I don't know. I haven't decided. I have a few more weeks, but I really should get back. The magazine's so understaffed, and I have a world of illustrations to do. Why do you ask, Fred? Well, I thought if you didn't have to go back, you might come over to my place for a week. Your place? Oh, but Fred, I... Yes, I'm having some guests down for a week. Several couples from New York. Well, I don't know. I really should get back. Please come, Anitra.
Please do. Well, it's very sweet of you... Anita, I really want you to come. Because... Yes? You know, the way the moon shines on your hair, it looks just like spun gold. Does it? Is that what you were going to say? No. There are a lot of things I want to say. Do you realize what a beautiful girl you are, Anita? I mean it. From the moment I first saw you, knocked the props right out from under me.
Nothing else exists. Nothing else matters. Nothing but you, Anitra. But, Fred, I... I'm wild about you. Crazy. Please, Fred, we better go back. You've got to listen, darling. I love you. Are you asking me to... Yes. I want you to marry me.
But I'm a career woman. You don't want a career woman for a wife. Besides, we've only known each other for a few days. I don't care, career or not. Two days or two hours. I love you. Let's get back to the house. Come on. You mean you don't like me? Is that it? Or is it some other man? I do like you very much, and there's no other man. Well, I'll have to think about it.
If I marry, I know I'll give up my work, and I'm not sure I want to do that. I see. Well, will you at least make me happy by joining the party at my place for a week? Yes, I'll come, Fred. I'll stay here for another week, but please don't high-pressure me. Let me make up my own mind. Promise? That's a deal. Shall we seal it? Certainly. With a kiss? Fred, I... Please. I love you, Anitra. Go back to the house. Please. Please.
But Fred doesn't keep his promise. Fred isn't the type. When he wants a thing, nothing can change his mind. And by the time the week is up, Fred has made up Anitra's mind. They are married and decide to spend their honeymoon in Florida. But a few weeks later, their honeymoon is interrupted. Fred is stricken with an illness. In this room, Dr. Phillips.
Thank you. Fred. Fred. Yes, darling? This is Dr. Phillips. Yes? Well, Mr. Blake, what seems to be the trouble? I don't know. I just... I don't know what it is. Dr. Phillips is a specialist from Miami. Yes? Suppose you tell me a few things, Mr. Blake. Well, I'm afraid it's some sort of paralysis. Paralysis? Yes. What makes you think that? Well, the first time it hit me, I got kind of faint. I don't know.
My feet and legs became numb. Sort of crept up on me. At first it wasn't so bad, but the next time it came, it affected my hands and arms, too. I got busy and I passed out. Oh, I see. You become nauseated, Mr. Blaine? No. But after the attacks, I'm so exhausted I can't even get out of bed. Well, I'd better give you a thorough examination. What do you think it is, Doctor?
Well, I don't know at the moment. Well, do you think it's serious? Any interruption in the functions may be serious. Do you think it would be best to take him to a hospital, Doctor? I don't know yet. No, no, darling, please. I'd rather stay here with you. Ah, yes, dear, of course, whatever you say. Please, Mrs. Blake, would you mind stepping out for a while? Very well, I'll be in my room. Call me when you're finished. Everything's going to be all right, dear. Please don't worry. Yes, I'll be all right.
May I come in? Oh, yes. Come in, Mrs. Blake. I finished. It's been an hour. I just couldn't wait any longer. It's quite all right. How do you feel, Fred? Well, a little better, I guess. He pounded me and thumped and listened, but I don't think he knows himself. I do feel better. I'm going to get up and walk around. Yeah, Mr. Blake.
I'd advise you remain as quiet as possible. Why? If you attempt to move about, I'll have to withdraw from this case. What have you discovered? What is it? Just relax. Why don't you say it? Why keep it a secret? I'm entitled to know. Spill it! Now, please, Fred, darling, please don't get excited. What... what is it, Doctor? Do you know? Mrs. Blake, I'd like a few words with you. Uh, step over here to the window. Why, yes, of course, Doctor. Very sorry for the call, ma'am.
I can't believe that. Well, what are you talking about? Why go over there and mumble? Why don't you say it and be done with it? Did you hear me? What are you mumbling about? Oh, Doctor, no. No.
What are you telling her, you quack? Why don't you tell me? No, no, no, please, Mrs. Blake. Now, please be calm. I had to tell you. If you don't tell me what you're talking about, I'll get out of this bed and brain you. Oh, no. Oh, no, please. Darling, please don't get up. No, you mustn't. Now, Mr. Blake, I advise you to stay in that bed and control your temper. You're in no condition to withstand any form of excitement. No? And you know what's wrong with me? I do. And believe me, if you want to recover, you'd best remain as quiet as possible.
It's that serious? You have a chance, Mr. Blake. And that small chance depends mostly upon you yourself. I'll do my best, but it mostly depends on you. Is it paralysis? The knowledge of what it is will not help you. It is better that you think as little about it as possible. Good night, Mr. Blake. Good night, Mrs. Blake. Good night, Dr. Blake. Anitra, what did he say? Oh, Fred. Fred, you must try not to...
Another week passes, and Fred still remains in bed. He has had several more attacks, each one a bit more severe than the last. The doctor has made several visits, and Fred is now terribly frightened by the doctor's concern regarding his progress. Shortly before midnight, Fred feels another spell coming on. A little bit of a pain in the neck,
A little more severe. Anitra! Anitra! Oh, yes, darling. Yes, Fred? I'm getting fainted. It's coming on again. Get the doctor. Oh, yes, Fred. I've already called him. He'll be here in a few moments. Now, be quiet, dear. Please don't exert yourself. This is the worst yet. Please be calm. You're all right. No, no. I'm scared. This is it. I know this is the end. Oh, Fred. Fred, don't say that. I can tell. No, you have nothing to fear, darling. Nothing. I have. I can't help it. Oh,
Fred, you must get hold of yourself. You must. I know I haven't a chance. You know that. The doctor knows. He told you. I know, too. Please, Fred.
There's something I've got to tell you. Oh, darling. You don't understand. I've got to tell someone. You must calm yourself. You've got to listen to me. You've got to. The doctor will be here in just a few moments. Now, please try to save your strength, darling. He can't help me. Oh, come in. I came as quickly as I could, Mrs. Blank. It's another attack, doctor. It seems to be worse than the last. He's terribly frightened. Come now, Blake. You must try to get a hold of yourself. The pulse is...
Well... Pulses. It's what? Just a second. My bag, please. Yes, doctor. Thank you. Now, let's have a listen to this deathoscope. Do you have a chill, Blake? I don't know. I'm just awful numb. It's creeping up inch by inch. Oh, please, doctor. Can't we take him to the hospital? The hospital? I'm afraid that... Well, he's as well off here as in the hospital. Why... Why don't you tell me the truth? I've got a right to know. Tell me...
Tell me the truth. No, you're going to be all right, Blake. You're lying. Mrs. Blake. Yes, Doctor? What did you start to say? Well... Tell me. I've got to know. Yes, Fred. Tell this doctor. There's no use evading the issue. Fred wants to know. Very well. Since you insist, there is nothing I can do for you, Mr. Blake. Nothing anyone can do for you. You mean it's a matter of days? It may be only a matter of hours. I'm sorry, Blake. Hours? Hours.
Anitra. Oh, darling, I knew. I knew, but I... I just couldn't let you know. Hours. Doctor, will you leave us alone for a while? Of course. Oh, please. Don't leave the house, Doctor. No, I'll stay with you as long as you need me. I'll be in the hall. You call me if you want. Anitra, get a sheet of paper and write what I tell you. Yes, sir. And please hurry, Anitra. Of course, dear. Thank you.
Yeah. I'm ready. To District Attorney Frank Winston. District Attorney... I never thought I'd do this, but here it is. Joe Alberti was innocent in the killing of the bank messenger. He was framed. I killed the messenger and framed Joe. Fred... And Joe's wife is innocent of trying to kill me. She didn't shoot me, and I... I want her released. Fred...
I'm enclosing a check for 10,000 for her. And furthermore, what I told you about your son was a lie. He didn't shoot me either. He did come to my room. He had a gun. I took it away from him. And then the scuffle gun went off. I shot myself. So that clears everything up. Now you can start your campaign. But I...
I won't be around to participate. Yours, Fred Blake. Fred, are you out of your mind? What? This is ridiculous. I won't turn this over to the district attorney. I won't. Please, Sunita, please do. I can't die. I just can't unless I know. Please, you've got to do it. Hand me the pen. I've got to sign it.
Before my hands go numb. Oh, no. No, don't sign it. Please don't. It isn't true. It is true. Every word. Hold it. There. Oh, darling. You don't know what a relief this is. All right, Fred. I'll do as you say. Oh, darling, I don't care what you've done. You've been so, so good to me. But if you want me to turn this over, I will...
I do. Oh, doctor. Doctor. Quick, doctor. You're too late, doctor. Everything's okay now. Well, it's all over. All over. All over.
I was fortunate in getting a plane within half an hour after you phoned me, Mrs. Blake. I understand, and I appreciate your coming. Well, what is this about Fred Blake? Well, Fred has been ill for several weeks, and last night, well, he got worse, became frightened, and made me take down this letter. He signed it, and then... Letter? Yes, you may read it. It's addressed to you. And I promised him I'd see that you got it. I see. Thank you.
District attorney... Joe Alberti? And what's this? Carl? Out of all things. I had a hunch this would clear up sooner or later. But how, I hadn't the slightest idea. And here's the check for $10,000 to Mary Alberti. Will you see that she gets it and is released from prison? Mrs. Blake, Mary Alberti was paroled over a year ago. You keep the check and I'll locate her for you. You can give it to her. Do...
Do you know where she can be found? I have a pretty good idea. Now, may I see your husband? I'd like to be sure that he is the Fred Blake. Yes, of course. This way. Yes, he's the real Fred Blake. That's all I wanted to know. Anitra. Is that you, Anitra? Good Lord, I... Why, I thought he was dead. What is this? Where am I? Blake. Doctor...
What happened? I'm not a doctor. Oh, then who are you? I'm District Attorney Winston. Winston? What...
What are you doing here? Where am I? You're in your bed, but you're on your way to jail. Jail? Are you crazy? I'm sick. I'm dying. You may be right about that. He isn't dying. It's all in his imagination. Yeah? Get up out of that bed. But I can't. I can't walk. Then we'll carry you. All right, Murphy. Come in and carry him out. Yes, sir. Come on, Jim. We'll make a saddle seat for him. I'm sick, I tell you. I'm dying. You're taking a plane ride north, whether you're dying or not.
You signed this confession, didn't you? What? Yes. But you weren't supposed to get that till I was dead. Why didn't you wait, Anitra? Bring him along. You'll never convict me. You'll never get that far because I'll be dead. Come on, boys. Take him to the car. Anitra. Anitra, why don't you tell them? It's all a mistake. They can't do this. Tell him. Tell them what? I'm dying. What can I do, Fred? I did just as you asked me to do. I can't do a thing now. It's too late. What's happened to you?
What's happened? Nothing. I've never been so satisfied in my life. What? I said this is the happiest moment of my life. Now, get up, Fred. You can walk. You're stalling. There's nothing wrong with you. You're crazy. No, she's not crazy. She's clever. I've tried for over a year to work this thing out, and she did it all by herself.
Yes, Blake, Mary Alberti, now known as Mrs. Anitra Blake, is a very clever woman. Well, there you are. Mary Alberti, alias Anitra Blake, was a clever woman. She knew that her husband Joe was innocent. And when she was sent to prison for shooting Fred Blake, she made up her mind to eventually get out on good behavior. So she studied art, glamorized herself, and then she became a great actress.
changed her speech and appearance, and worked her way into the circles frequented by Fred. And everything worked out just as she planned. There was nothing wrong with Fred. He wasn't ill and he wasn't dying. Just a few grains of medicine each day was all that was necessary to bring on that numbness. And the doctor? Well, he wasn't a doctor. No, he was really the brother of her husband, the brother of Joe Alberti. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
CBS has presented The Whistler. Original music for this production was composed by Wilbur Hatch and conducted by Ivan Ditmars. The Whistler is written and directed by J. Donald Wilson and originates from Columbia Square in Hollywood. Next week, same time, I, The Whistler, will return to tell you another unusual story.
Good night. This is CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System. My guess is that you've heard a lot of people talking about Factor, the two-minute meals packed with nutrition. Up until recently, though, I didn't really care much about nutrition. I was into convenience. Burgers, pizza, you get the drift. But the older you get, the more you realize nutrition is kind of important.
At the same time, convenience is still crucial for me. I am busier now than I've ever been in my life, so eating food fast without eating fast food is a bit of a challenge. Was a bit of a challenge. With Factor, I get to check both of those off my list. I just heat it up, and two minutes later, I'm sticking a fork in it.
Factor is more than convenient though. I don't even have to jump into my car to go through a drive-thru or pay a bunch of extra money so I can wait 30 minutes to an hour for a delivery app to come through for me. Factor meals arrive directly at my door, fresh and ready to eat. And with my new weight loss goals, the menu options are a real bonus. They have gourmet meals if I want to be calorie smart or pack on the protein, go keto and more. They have 45 weekly menu options.
How many weeks are there in a year? 52? Yeah, that's pretty dang close to a different menu for each week. I can use Factor for breakfast, quick lunches, premium dinners, even guilt-free snacks and desserts. Imagine that. Snacking without guilt. I didn't think that was possible. If you'd like to join me on this journey, you can visit factormeals.com slash darkness50off, then use the code darkness50off to get 50% off and free shipping in your first box.
That's factormeals.com slash darkness50off, then use the code darkness50off to get 50% off and free shipping. I'm not big on trends, never really have been, so I can't be trusted when it comes to clothes shopping for others. I'm married to someone who does understand what looks good.
Quince.com asked me to endorse them on Weird Darkness, and at first I thought, eh, that's a bad idea, for reasons I've already laid out. But I let my bride check out their website, and, well, she immediately started shopping for Christmas, birthdays, Mother's Day, Just Because Day, apparently that's a real thing, and now she keeps going back to Quince.com. Their lightweight layers and high-quality staples have become a go-to place for everyday essentials now.
Quince has all the things you actually want to wear this summer, like organic cotton silk polos, European linen beach shorts, and comfortable pants that work for everything from backyard hangs to nice dinners. And the best part? Everything with Quince is half the cost of similar brands.
They work directly with top artisans, so they cut out the middlemen. And Quince gives you luxury pieces without the markups. And Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical, and responsible manufacturing practices and premium fabrics and finishes. I honestly didn't think I needed Quince.com, but Robin says, yeah, I do. Desperately. I think that means she'll be buying some clothes there for me, too.
She's tired of seeing 98% of my closet being weird darkness t-shirts. Go figure. She's also making me out to be the hero in front of my nieces. We got a cute little toddler-sized poplin-smocked flutter-sleeve dress for my youngest great-niece, complete with pink puppies for the pattern. It's adorable, I'll admit that. We got a pair of cotton-stretched skinny jeans coming from my newly-teenaged great-niece, along with a set of organic cotton long-sleeve and pants pajamas.
My oldest niece, the mom in the family, is getting a pair of ultra-soft high-rise pocket leggings. Emphasis on pocket. That's a pet peeve of my bride. She refuses to buy pants without pockets. And we're also sending a pair of ultra-form high-rise leggings. I would look horrible in all of this stuff, but the ladies in the family are going to look awesome. Of course, we'll be going back to quince.com in the next few days to begin shopping for the nephews.
I'm not allowed to pick out those clothes either. Robin just does not trust me. Good call. Stick to the staples that last with elevated essentials from Quince. Go to quince.com slash weirddarkness for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's quince, Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash weirddarkness to get free shipping and 365 day returns. quince.com slash weirddarkness
Okay, yeah, I got to admit, this t-shirt is kind of fading. Hey everyone, this is Keri Champion, the host of Naked Sports. When you sit behind the wheel of the all-new 2025 Nissan Armada Pro 4X, you'll feel like the entire world is your playground. And you'd be right.
because this unshakable fortress of a vehicle is built to take you on your next adventure. With the twin-turbo V6 engine, the all-new Armada is powerful enough to take you anywhere. With its 8,500 pounds of toying capacity, it will let you bring all your toys along. And with seating for eight, your whole crew can join you.
Nissan created a truly capable vehicle in the all-new Armada. In fact, it's the first Armada to earn the Pro 4X badge, which Nissan reserves for its most adventure-ready vehicles.
The Armada is a big SUV designed and built for big adventures and must be experienced to be appreciated. Drive the all-new 2025 Nissan Armada today. Learn more at NissanUSA.com. Intelligent four-wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. My guess is that you've heard a lot of people talking about Factor, the two-minute meals packed with nutrition.
Up until recently, though, I didn't really care much about nutrition. I was into convenience. Burgers, pizza, you get the drift. But the older you get, the more you realize nutrition is kind of important.
At the same time, convenience is still crucial for me. I am busier now than I've ever been in my life, so eating food fast without eating fast food is a bit of a challenge. Was a bit of a challenge. With Factor, I get to check both of those off my list. I just heat it up, and two minutes later, I'm sticking a fork in it.
Factor is more than convenient though. I don't even have to jump into my car to go through a drive-thru or pay a bunch of extra money so I can wait 30 minutes to an hour for a delivery app to come through for me. Factor meals arrive directly at my door, fresh and ready to eat. And with my new weight loss goals, the menu options are a real bonus. They have gourmet meals if I want to be calorie smart or pack on the protein, go keto and more. They have 45 weekly menu options.
How many weeks are there in a year? 52? Yeah, that's pretty dang close to a different menu for each week. I can use Factor for breakfast, quick lunches, premium dinners, even guilt-free snacks and desserts. Imagine that. Snacking without guilt. I didn't think that was possible. If you'd like to join me on this journey, you can visit factormeals.com slash darkness50off, then use the code darkness50off to get 50% off and free shipping in your first box.
That's factormeals.com slash darkness50off, then use the code darkness50off to get 50% off and free shipping. I'm not big on trends, never really have been, so I can't be trusted when it comes to clothes shopping for others. I'm married to someone who does understand what looks good.
Quince.com asked me to endorse them on Weird Darkness, and at first I thought, eh, that's a bad idea, for reasons I've already laid out. But I let my bride check out their website, and, well, she immediately started shopping for Christmas, birthdays, Mother's Day, Just Because Day, apparently that's a real thing, and now she keeps going back to Quince.com. Their lightweight layers and high-quality staples have become a go-to place for everyday essentials now.
Quince has all the things you actually want to wear this summer, like organic cotton silk polos, European linen beach shorts, and comfortable pants that work for everything from backyard hangs to nice dinners. And the best part? Everything with Quince is half the cost of similar brands.
They work directly with top artisans, so they cut out the middlemen. And Quince gives you luxury pieces without the markups. And Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical, and responsible manufacturing practices and premium fabrics and finishes. I honestly didn't think I needed Quince.com, but Robin says, yeah, I do. Desperately. I think that means she'll be buying some clothes there for me, too.
She's tired of seeing 98% of my closet being weird darkness t-shirts. Go figure. She's also making me out to be the hero in front of my nieces. We got a cute little toddler-sized poplin-smocked flutter-sleeve dress for my youngest great-niece, complete with pink puppies for the pattern. It's adorable, I'll admit that. We got a pair of cotton-stretched skinny jeans coming from my newly-teenaged great-niece, along with a set of organic cotton long-sleeve and pants pajamas.
My oldest niece, the mom in the family, is getting a pair of ultra-soft high-rise pocket leggings. Emphasis on pocket. That's a pet peeve of my bride. She refuses to buy pants without pockets. And we're also sending a pair of ultra-form high-rise leggings. I would look horrible in all of this stuff, but the ladies in the family are going to look awesome. Of course, we'll be going back to quince.com in the next few days to begin shopping for the nephews.
I'm not allowed to pick out those clothes either. Robin just does not trust me. Good call. Stick to the staples that last with elevated essentials from Quince. Go to quince.com slash weirddarkness for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's quince, Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash weirddarkness to get free shipping and 365 day returns. quince.com slash weirddarkness
Okay, yeah, I got to admit, this t-shirt is kind of fading. Hey everyone, this is Keri Champion, the host of Naked Sports. When you sit behind the wheel of the all-new 2025 Nissan Armada Pro 4X, you'll feel like the entire world is your playground, and you'd be right.
Because this unshakable fortress of a vehicle is built to take you on your next adventure. With the twin-turbo V6 engine, the all-new Armada is powerful enough to take you anywhere. With its 8,500 pounds of toying capacity, it will let you bring all your toys along. And with seating for eight, your whole crew can join you.
Nissan created a truly capable vehicle in the all-new Armada. In fact, it's the first Armada to earn the Pro 4X badge, which Nissan reserves for its most adventure-ready vehicles.
The Armada is a big SUV designed and built for big adventures and must be experienced to be appreciated. Drive the all-new 2025 Nissan Armada today. Learn more at NissanUSA.com. Intelligent four-wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. ♪♪
The fascination of the eerie, weird, blood-chilling tales told by old Nancy, the Witch of Salem, and Satan, her wise black cat. They are waiting, waiting for you, now.
A hundred and six year old I leave today. Yes, sir. A hundred and six year old. Well, Satan, give word to Doubt All Lights and we'll get right down to business.
That's right. Make it nice and dark and cheerful. Are we light, gloom and shadow? Now, draw up to the fire and gaze into the embers. Gaze into one deep
And soon you'll see a crowded ballroom in a fine big house in New York City. And there, amidst happiness and laughter, leans our tale about the power of Lucifer. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! The power of Lucifer! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
The next dance will be a waltz dance. Sure you want to sit it out? Yes, Catherine. I've stepped on enough defenseless female toes this evening. And as I have to buy your shoes, I'll be economical as well as merciful. This definitely seems about it. Let's go out there. And gaze at the moon? Uh-huh. Now here's a special and nice chair for moon gazing. Big enough for both of us. Not unless I sit in your lap. That's all right. I have a good, strong lap.
Nah. Give me a kiss. Oh, Warren turned my hair. Oh. Don't you ever get tired of making love to your wife? No.
My wife ever get tired of having me make laughter? No. Then there's no occasion for argument. Give me another kiss. Oh, that's enough. And I'm going to sit in this other chair before you crush my gown and I press the crease out of your trousers. All evening you've forsaken me and now you're doing it again. I am? And unless you curb your romantic ardor, I'll make you take me back in there and dance. I'll be good.
It's too nice to be out here with you and away from all those people. You don't like the crowds at hand, do you? Oh, they're all right, I suppose, but I don't understand. I'm just a plain businessman.
Hindu poets, Armenian artists and Turkish musicians are way over my head. Since Mrs. Brewster decided to patronize the arts, she's certainly had some very strange people in her affairs. Strange? They seem lunatics to me. Fortunately, old Dr. Farmer's wife had deserved him as you did me, so he and I sneaked off in a corner and discussed politics, Wall Street and baseball. That flippant band of conversation soon drove away any nut who came near us.
What particular sort of culture does the chap go in for who's been monopolizing you all evening? Mr. Orlov? That's his name. I didn't catch it when we were introduced. Russian, isn't he? I imagine so, though he didn't mention his nationality. What does he do for a living? I don't know. You've spent enough time with him to have learned his whole life's history. You weren't jealous? Of course not. I merely ask about him because...
Well, he's such a peculiar looking chap, and I'm curious to know what there is about him that held your interest for so long. I don't know that, I know. He's a very strange person. He's talked a steady stream from the moment I met him. Yes, I know nothing about him at all. What does he talk about? Well, a subject that I've only heard of in a vaguer sort of way before. Devil worship. Devil worship? Yes. Not medieval witchcraft or anything like that.
But something that exists today. The cult of Lucifer, he called it. The cult of Lucifer? It's a religious sect, he said. It has churches, ordained priests, and a ceremonial. And he said this cult of Lucifer is active now? Yes, all over the world. Right here in New York. He talks so much about it. I have an idea he himself remembers it.
I... Warren, there's something horrible about that man. Five minutes after I met him, he was absolutely repulsive to me. Yet you danced with him all evening. I don't know why. After the first dance, I wanted to get away. Yet when he asked me for another, I... I'd have been with him yet if you hadn't come for me. Warren, I made up my mind not to say anything about all this. It sounds so silly. Oh, and I'm glad I've told you. I want you to stay with me for the rest of the evening. Don't leave me for a moment.
And if Mr. Orlov asks me to dance with him again, you make some excuse. Don't let me. Catherine, are you intimating that you can't refuse this man yourself? Yes. Don't ask me why. I don't know. I'm afraid of that man, Warren. Terribly afraid. Oh, there they are, Mrs. Brewster. My dear Catherine, we've been looking everywhere for you and Warren. Oh, just sitting out a dance, Mrs. Brewster. Won't you join us? Yes.
He's with them. Don't worry, darling. Your Mr. Orloff went after you now. You and your husband have been enjoying the moonlight, Mrs. Crady. Yes, Mr. Orloff, how gorgeously romantic. They're always running away from people so they can be by themselves, Mr. Orloff. As though they were sweethearts instead of husband and wife. In these two young people, you see the perfect marriage.
The most unusual thing to see. Perfect things are rare. I'll say they are. But you played me a mean trick when you disappeared with Catherine Warren, a Swedish poetess.
Got me in a corner and nearly talked my arm off. I tell you, my dear, Dr. Farmer and I had organized a mutual protective association of two against art in there. Oh, you and the doctor are incurably bourgeoisie. Afraid we are, Mrs. Brewster. Your guests this evening are too highbrow for plain people such as Warren and myself. By that, I mean no offense to you, Mr. Waltz.
None is taken. I, like you, am plain people. Not what you call highbrow. You're far too modest, Mr. Orloff. You and Warren must become better acquainted with this gentleman, Doctor. He's been everywhere, seen everything, and... Oh, he's told me of the most interesting things. Catherine, my dear, did he tell you of that perfectly intriguing sect he called the Cult of Lucifer? Yes, Mr. Orloff told me a great deal about it. What is the Cult of Lucifer?
you feel blue or rather many group
of people who believe that evil is a more potent factor in this world than good. Consequently, they worship the lord of evil and serve him, not by what orthodox religionists call worthy acts, but by bringing sorrow and trouble wherever they can. Did you ever hear of anything so perfectly fascinating? There are idiots in this world who will go in for anything. The cult of Lucifer is not composed of idiots, doctor.
The Mayor of Herbert says that the devil takes care of his own. He endows his most ardent disciples with great power.
So I am told. Oh, rot. Perhaps. Of course, I am only speaking hearsay. Oh, naturally. It's delightfully interesting to think about that one wouldn't wish to be acquainted with people who believe such things personally, would one? I don't think so, Mrs. Bruce. No, darn well, I wouldn't. Now, I simply must return to my other guest. You'll excuse me, won't you? By all means, yes, of course. You poor lovely people mustn't stay out here too long, though. Please leave me in the hall, Bruce.
Well, no one gets me back in there while I'm in my right senses. May I hope that Mrs. Craig will return to the Moorhose very soon as my partner for the next time, perhaps? I... I... Shall we go now?
The music has begun. Yes. Catherine. I... I have your permission, of course, Mr. Green. Yes. Thank you. If I am, Mrs. Green, we shall join you again in a minute. Hey, Warren. What's the matter with you? You look as though someone had hit you over the head. Doctor, what? That man made me say yes when I wanted to say no. I...
He walked away with Catherine when I wanted to stop him and she didn't want to go. What are you talking about? By the Lord, he isn't going to get away with it. What? Where are you going? Hold up. Hold up. Come back here. Hold up. Are you calling me, Mr. Gray? Yes, come back here with my wife. You're making a scene. What's the matter with you? You'll soon find out and so will he. Why have you called me, Mr. Gray? You know well enough. Step out here on this balcony and I'll tell you.
Let go of his arm, Catherine. Come here to me. Why? Come here to me. I... Go to your husband, Miss Dwayne. I... Yes. What kind of a game are you playing? She couldn't even take her hand from your arm until you let her. When she told me you'd made her dance with you all evening against her will, I... I didn't know what to think. But now I do because you just worked the same hypnotic trick on me.
I don't like to be tricked, Mr. Rawls. And I don't want hypnotists experimenting on my wife. She's not dancing with you anymore, that's all. Not quite at all, Mr. Gray. Your tone has been both loud and insulting. Dr. Farmer has been a witness, and others have been attracted by your words. It is your privilege to say I cannot dance with your wife. But I expect an apology. You won't get it, Rawls. It may be in my power to compel it. Not from me.
You will apologize to Mr. Gray before these people. I... I apologize to you, Mr. Orloff. I thank you. But now that you have made it, I choose not to accept your apology, Mr. Gray. You will feel that Ivan Orloff is a most vindictive man.
Good night. Warren, Warren, what in heaven's name is the meaning of all this? What's happened to you? Again you look stunned, like a man who has received a blow. Doc, he did it to me a second time.
He's done my will as he did before. It doesn't matter, dear. He's gone now. Let's get our things and leave here. We never met him before tonight and we won't see him anymore. I'm not so sure of that. I didn't like the look of that fellow when he left. He can't do us any harm, Doctor. He can't, can't. Darling, what's the matter? Oh, dear. I feel faint. Catch a woman. She's falling. Catherine, darling, what's wrong with you?
Doctor, she's fainted. Carry her to that bench. Lay her down. Yes. But what could have caused it? I don't know. Catherine. Catherine, darling. She's a white and still. She's scarcely breathing, Doctor. What's the reason for this? She hasn't been sick. I know that. I'm her doctor. Someone telephone for the ambulance. Hurry. An ambulance, Doctor.
Yes, you don't think? I've got to get her to a hospital if I hope to save her life. Her life? Yes. Her pulse is very weak. Her heart is beating and no more. But she can't die, Doctor. You won't let her die. Doctor, if I can help it, hold on to yourself, my boy. Catherine. I can't understand it. I examined her only last week. Her heart was regular as a clock. What's the reason? Doctor, her lips are moving. She's trying to say something.
What is it, dear? Oh, she hasn't even the strength to speak to me. What's the reason? What's the reason? Be still, please. She is trying to say something. Catherine, what is it, dear? I couldn't hear her talk. What did she say? It was just a whisper.
I think she said, power of Lucifer.
Isn't she any better, Doctor? Just the same, my boy. That's all you've told me for three days, that she's just the same. And she lies on this bed, never moving, scarcely breathing, dying. Oh, isn't there anything you can do to save her? I've done everything, tried everything I know. I'm at my wit's end, boy. The specialist I brought in can't diagnose this condition any better than I can, nor recommend a treatment.
Ah, we doctors know so little. Then you haven't any hope? She's going to die? No, I haven't given up hope. But doctors are only men. Where we fail, often something else steps in and saves. God.
He gives and he takes away, son. Everything in this universe is really up to him. And he's forgotten her and me. Don't you think I've prayed to him? Every moment since he collapsed that night, a prayer's been on my lips or crying in my heart. A prayer of desperation. A cry of my whole being. But if I lose her, I have nothing in the world. He's forgotten me. He doesn't care. I don't think you or I or any other human being can say that. For we don't know his schemes.
My boy, I'm not just trying to deaden your anxiety and heartbreak with a sugar-coated anodyne of religion. I haven't any creed. I'm just talking what I sincerely believe. Catherine has been unconscious for three days. She hasn't suffered for a single moment of that time or felt the slightest pain. If she doesn't come out of this, I don't say she won't. I don't believe she won't.
And I'll do all a human being can to bring her back to you. But if I can't, she'll simply pass from a light sleep into a deep one. She'll have been spared a lot of trouble that living holds for everyone. God will have been very kind to her, my boy. And you won't have lost Catherine. For there's another place where those who love...
I'll do you good night. Maybe. Three days ago, I thought that, believe, was sure of it. Now I've lost all faith in the sort of providence that struck my wife without a warning. Warren. I've lost all faith, I tell you. If there is a force for good, there's an evil force that counteracts it. An evil force that's the strongest. You don't know what you're saying. Oh, yes, I do. Doctor, what did Catherine's whisper mean that night when she murmured the power of Lucifer? I don't know.
Probably something about all of filthy cult had lingered in her mind, or may have been in my mind, so that I read her whisper as I did. I couldn't really swear her lips formed words. She murmured too low to hear. No, she said what you thought she did all right.
She said the power of Lucifer. They were the last words she uttered. They were a message to me, a message I hadn't understood until now. What do you mean? That devil Orlok did this thing to her. As he proved that he could bend our minds, now he's proved his hellish power in her body. You're mad. No, I'm not. You haven't any explanation for whatever struck her down without cause, without a warning? I have, at last. Orlok threatened me. He said the devil took care of his own.
That he gave great power to his disciples, to him. That power is killing my wife. The power of Lucifer. The god of evil who is stronger than the lord of good. You are beside yourself, my boy. You can't believe such a thing. I do believe it. And if Catherine dies, then I'll know it's true. My boy. Doctor. Catherine just moaned. The first sound she's made since... Out of my way, Warren. Let me see. What's that rattling noise I hear?
It's coming from her throat. Doctor! She looks different. She's lying so still. There's not the slightest movement. Her eyes are open, staring. Doctor! Why are you pulling that sheet over her face?
Doctor! Catherine! Catherine! Son, son. Catherine, my darling. Don't lose face, my boy. You'll find her again if you don't lose your face. Who is it? That's her, Dr. Thomas. Oh, I shan't need you now. I've got an important message, Doctor. It's for Mr. Gregg, named Mr. Orlop. Orlop? What is the message? Simply this little paper, his address, sir.
but i said it was a matter of life and death oh doctor mrs greg yes just now his address a matter of life and death perhaps he meant he could have saved her but this came too late the brown father before
She's dead. Boy, what do you mutter to yourself? He killed her. He killed her. But this tells me where to find him. Who are you? This tells me where to find him. Perhaps take his life for hers. Come back. Stop him, someone. He's mad, Doctor. All the power of Lucifer will save him. His life for hers. His life for hers.
Come in. The gentleman we expected has arrived, Master.
It was exactly eleven minutes past midnight when you left him in the downstairs door. I told you it would be. The master knows all things. Mr. Gregg has a pistol in his pocket. Yes, master. With his hand inside the pocket and his fingers on the trigger. Already. I can see the outline through the cloth. I see it through these walls. I saw him by the gun four miles away. He means to shoot me the moment he and I are alone in this room.
Showing me that watch, Alexei, and leave him. Yes, master. Fool's, fool's, be gentle, my master. Come in, Mr. Gray. Please go, Alexei, and shut the door behind you. Yes, master. You murderers! Wait!
Before you press the trigger of that peaceful, let me ask you one question. No, you... It is a question I've summoned you to hear. The question of life or death. Do you want your wife restored to you? My... my wife? Do you want your wife restored to life? You know she's dead. That proves you killed her. I do not deny it. I told you once that Ivan Orlov was a most vindictive man. You fiend! Now you'll pay your life for her. Please.
First answer my question. Do you want your wife restored to life? No. You're playing with me. A man does not play when another holds a loaded pistol at his breast. And I am very afraid of firearms, really. Keep your peaceful, Mr. Gregg. Keep it pointed at my body if you will. But you had better hear what I have to say before you shoot. Aye. So, you relax a little. That is better.
I left a note telling you where to find my humble residence. As your dear wife breathed her last. Wait! I left it because Ivan Orlov is also a forgiving man. When his vengeance is complete, the power of Lucifer can give as well as take. The power of Lucifer? Which in that hospital room this evening, you'll realize was greater than the power of fools. I am a priest of Lucifer. He is the power that I wield.
You doubt perhaps that I can bring your wife to life as I have made her die. Take this piece of paper. Tear it up. Tear it up. Hold the pieces in your open hand. I have not touched. I do not touch them. Yet look. They've joined together as they were before you tore them.
So I can restore the broken fragments of your dear one's life. Give her back to me and I'll be your slave. I do not need a slave. But the master I adore needs loyal servants. What do you mean? That the devil takes care of his own, but only his own. That he gives nothing for nothing. You must pay a price. That you must serve him if you would have him serve you. True.
To regain Catherine, I must... You must be consecrated in my master's service. Tonight and forevermore, you must bow down and worship Lucifer. You are very clear, my brother. For we are brothers now by the virtue of the faith we share. Ha, ha, ha, ha.
You did not enjoy your consecration in our order? It was horrible. Bestial. Unholy. Holy and unholy are words we do not employ. The king is either evil or... ...unevil. For there our power lies. If evil gives you power to bring back the warmth of life to that cold body on the bed... ...I accept your awful fate. To have her back, to have her love again... ...is worth the eternal damnation of my soul.
If I had a soul. You must not doubt the existence of your soul, my brother. For to accept the creed of evil, the creed of good must also be believed. One cannot exist without the other. Our deity is stronger, as you shall soon see. For he will bring the dead to life. How soon? How soon? In less than a minute. Blood will course again in those now so lifeless veins. Breath will return, and those closed eyes will open up themselves.
In less than a minute, the dead will rise and walk. Oh, Cassian. It'll be worth my soul to have your love again. Ah, you have not forfeited your soul. Souls are not my master's business. You said if he restores her, I must pay a price. Of course. He gives nothing for nothing. What will that price be? I do not know. I do not even know the price that I must someday pay for power. But I do not care. Power is all that matters.
And I shall live many years to wield it. For I control the minds of men, and nothing can destroy me. Olaf, color's returning to her cheeks. By the power of Lucifer. She breathed. You kept your promise. You're restoring her to life. Not I, but he, my sir. Her flesh grows warm. She's coming back to me. Now, like you, I don't care what price I have to pay. I'll have Catherine once more. My Catherine. Olaf.
She's open her eyes. Speak to me, darling. Let me hear your voice again. You look as though you didn't know me. I'm Warren, dear. Your husband. Catherine. Why do you laugh like that? Why are you laughing like a baby? Olaf. Her eyes. What about them? They're blank. Scary. Her body lives, but her eyes are dead. So they are.
I forgot to tell you that though my master can restore the dead to life, he cannot restore the brain. You mean the cataract? She is an imbecile, my brother. As I have said, the lord of evil has no province over souls. And without a soul, there can be no mind of course.
But rest easy now. You have nothing more to fear. You have paid the devil's price. You monster! You fiend! Drop that gun. You fool. I told you I had mastery over all created men. When I let you keep that gun this afternoon, I only played with you for amusement. I am a priest of Lucifer. With the power he has given me, I shall live forever. Catherine! He has picked up the gun you dropped.
Take it from her and return it to your pocket. It pleases me to have you keep it and know you cannot use it. Imbecile! Do not point that gun at me. Drop that pistol, I say, drop it. She has no mind, all of it. Your power is before her and her finger's on the trigger. No, no. No!
Now, Orloth, you, like me, have paid your master's price. Only you bought power. Something evil had to sell. I tried to purchase love.
Well, that's the end of that one, Satan. Now you and me have business to attend to. Important business, Satan. Near midnight, Satan.
My guess is that you've heard a lot of people talking about Factor, the two-minute meals packed with nutrition. Up until recently, though, I didn't really care much about nutrition. I was into convenience. Burgers, pizza, you get the drift. But the older you get, the more you realize nutrition is kind of important.
At the same time, convenience is still crucial for me. I am busier now than I've ever been in my life, so eating food fast without eating fast food is a bit of a challenge. Was a bit of a challenge. With Factor, I get to check both of those off my list. I just heat it up, and two minutes later, I'm sticking a fork in it.
Factor is more than convenient though. I don't even have to jump into my car to go through a drive-thru or pay a bunch of extra money so I can wait 30 minutes to an hour for a delivery app to come through for me. Factor meals arrive directly at my door, fresh and ready to eat. And with my new weight loss goals, the menu options are a real bonus. They have gourmet meals if I want to be calorie smart or pack on the protein, go keto and more. They have 45 weekly menu options.
How many weeks are there in a year? 52? Yeah, that's pretty dang close to a different menu for each week. I can use Factor for breakfast, quick lunches, premium dinners, even guilt-free snacks and desserts. Imagine that. Snacking without guilt. I didn't think that was possible. If you'd like to join me on this journey, you can visit factormeals.com slash darkness50off, then use the code darkness50off to get 50% off and free shipping in your first box.
That's factormeals.com slash darkness50off, then use the code darkness50off to get 50% off and free shipping. I'm not big on trends, never really have been, so I can't be trusted when it comes to clothes shopping for others. I'm married to someone who does understand what looks good.
Quince.com asked me to endorse them on Weird Darkness, and at first I thought, eh, that's a bad idea, for reasons I've already laid out. But I let my bride check out their website, and, well, she immediately started shopping for Christmas, birthdays, Mother's Day, Just Because Day, apparently that's a real thing, and now she keeps going back to Quince.com. Their lightweight layers and high-quality staples have become a go-to place for everyday essentials now.
Quince has all the things you actually want to wear this summer, like organic cotton silk polos, European linen beach shorts, and comfortable pants that work for everything from backyard hangs to nice dinners. And the best part? Everything with Quince is half the cost of similar brands.
They work directly with top artisans, so they cut out the middlemen. And Quince gives you luxury pieces without the markups. And Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical, and responsible manufacturing practices and premium fabrics and finishes. I honestly didn't think I needed Quince.com, but Robin says, yeah, I do. Desperately. I think that means she'll be buying some clothes there for me, too.
She's tired of seeing 98% of my closet being weird darkness t-shirts. Go figure. She's also making me out to be the hero in front of my nieces. We got a cute little toddler-sized poplin-smocked flutter-sleeve dress for my youngest great-niece, complete with pink puppies for the pattern. It's adorable, I'll admit that. We got a pair of cotton-stretched skinny jeans coming from my newly-teenaged great-niece, along with a set of organic cotton long-sleeve and pants pajamas.
My oldest niece, the mom in the family, is getting a pair of ultra-soft high-rise pocket leggings. Emphasis on pocket. That's a pet peeve of my bride. She refuses to buy pants without pockets. And we're also sending a pair of ultra-form high-rise leggings. I would look horrible in all of this stuff, but the ladies in the family are going to look awesome. Of course, we'll be going back to quince.com in the next few days to begin shopping for the nephews.
I'm not allowed to pick out those clothes either. Robin just does not trust me. Good call. Stick to the staples that last with elevated essentials from Quince. Go to quince.com slash weirddarkness for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's quince, Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash weirddarkness to get free shipping and 365 day returns. quince.com slash weirddarkness
Okay, yeah, I got to admit, this t-shirt is kind of fading. Hey everyone, this is Keri Champion, the host of Naked Sports. When you sit behind the wheel of the all-new 2025 Nissan Armada Pro 4X, you'll feel like the entire world is your playground. And you'd be right.
because this unshakable fortress of a vehicle is built to take you on your next adventure. With the twin-turbo V6 engine, the all-new Armada is powerful enough to take you anywhere. With its 8,500 pounds of toying capacity, it will let you bring all your toys along. And with seating for eight, your whole crew can join you.
Nissan created a truly capable vehicle in the all-new Armada. In fact, it's the first Armada to earn the Pro 4X badge, which Nissan reserves for its most adventure-ready vehicles.
The Armada is a big SUV designed and built for big adventures and must be experienced to be appreciated. Drive the all-new 2025 Nissan Armada today. Learn more at NissanUSA.com. Intelligent four-wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. My guess is that you've heard a lot of people talking about Factor, the two-minute meals packed with nutrition.
Up until recently, though, I didn't really care much about nutrition. I was into convenience — burgers, pizza, you get the drift. But the older you get, the more you realize nutrition is kind of important. At the same time, convenience is still crucial for me. I am busier now than I've ever been in my life. So eating food fast without eating fast food is a bit of a challenge. Was a bit of a challenge.
With Factor, I get to check both of those off my list. I just heat it up, and two minutes later, I'm sticking a fork in it.
Factor is more than convenient though. I don't even have to jump into my car to go through a drive-thru or pay a bunch of extra money so I can wait 30 minutes to an hour for a delivery app to come through for me. Factor meals arrive directly at my door, fresh and ready to eat. And with my new weight loss goals, the menu options are a real bonus. They have gourmet meals if I want to be calorie smart or pack on the protein, go keto and more. They have 45 weekly menu options.
How many weeks are there in a year? 52? Yeah, that's pretty dang close to a different menu for each week. I can use Factor for breakfast, quick lunches, premium dinners, even guilt-free snacks and desserts. Imagine that. Snacking without guilt. I didn't think that was possible. If you'd like to join me on this journey, you can visit factormeals.com slash darkness50off, then use the code darkness50off to get 50% off and free shipping in your first box.
That's factormeals.com slash darkness50off, then use the code darkness50off to get 50% off and free shipping. I'm not big on trends, never really have been, so I can't be trusted when it comes to clothes shopping for others. I'm married to someone who does understand what looks good.
Quince.com asked me to endorse them on Weird Darkness, and at first I thought, eh, that's a bad idea, for reasons I've already laid out. But I let my bride check out their website, and, well, she immediately started shopping for Christmas, birthdays, Mother's Day, Just Because Day, apparently that's a real thing, and now she keeps going back to Quince.com. Their lightweight layers and high-quality staples have become a go-to place for everyday essentials now.
Quince has all the things you actually want to wear this summer, like organic cotton silk polos, European linen beach shorts, and comfortable pants that work for everything from backyard hangs to nice dinners. And the best part? Everything with Quince is half the cost of similar brands.
They work directly with top artisans, so they cut out the middlemen. And Quince gives you luxury pieces without the markups. And Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical, and responsible manufacturing practices and premium fabrics and finishes. I honestly didn't think I needed Quince.com, but Robin says, yeah, I do. Desperately. I think that means she'll be buying some clothes there for me, too.
She's tired of seeing 98% of my closet being weird darkness t-shirts. Go figure. She's also making me out to be the hero in front of my nieces. We got a cute little toddler-sized poplin-smocked flutter-sleeve dress for my youngest great-niece, complete with pink puppies for the pattern. It's adorable, I'll admit that. We got a pair of cotton-stretched skinny jeans coming from my newly-teenaged great-niece, along with a set of organic cotton long-sleeve and pants pajamas.
My oldest niece, the mom in the family, is getting a pair of ultra-soft high-rise pocket leggings. Emphasis on pocket. That's a pet peeve of my bride. She refuses to buy pants without pockets. And we're also sending a pair of ultra-form high-rise leggings. I would look horrible in all of this stuff, but the ladies in the family are going to look awesome. Of course, we'll be going back to quince.com in the next few days to begin shopping for the nephews.
I'm not allowed to pick out those clothes either. Robin just does not trust me. Good call. Stick to the staples that last with elevated essentials from Quince. Go to quince.com slash weirddarkness for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's quince, Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash weirddarkness to get free shipping and 365 day returns. quince.com slash weirddarkness
Okay, yeah, I got to admit, this t-shirt is kind of fading. Hey everyone, this is Keri Champion, the host of Naked Sports. When you sit behind the wheel of the all-new 2025 Nissan Armada Pro 4X, you'll feel like the entire world is your playground, and you'd be right.
Because this unshakable fortress of a vehicle is built to take you on your next adventure. With the twin-turbo V6 engine, the all-new Armada is powerful enough to take you anywhere. With its 8,500 pounds of toying capacity, it will let you bring all your toys along. And with seating for eight, your whole crew can join you.
Nissan created a truly capable vehicle in the all-new Armada. In fact, it's the first Armada to earn the Pro 4X badge, which Nissan reserves for its most adventure-ready vehicles.
The Armada is a big SUV designed and built for big adventures and must be experienced to be appreciated. Drive the all-new 2025 Nissan Armada today. Learn more at NissanUSA.com. Intelligent four-wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. 117 years ago, an ambitious young man from Belgium set off for Paris in search of fame and fortune.
He didn't do too well in the fortune department, but fared a bit better with regard to fame. His name is still a part of our language today. You'll hear exactly how and why on this edition of Word Detective, prepared as an educational service at the station in cooperation with the Underwood Corporation for more than 60 years, a leader in the field of typewriters and business machines.
He was the son of an inventor and set off for Paris in the year 1842 with ambitions of being an inventor himself. He worked out plans for a new invention in his father's workshop in Brussels. All he had to do now, he reasoned, was finish this invention, patent it, sell it to the French army, and voila, his fortune would be made.
He finished his invention on schedule, had it patented, demonstrated it to the General de Roumine, eticons of King Louis-Philippe, and won the General's recommendation that it be adopted officially by the French army. Then came the problems. No military appropriations debate in Congress ever stirred up more controversy than did this suggestion of the General's that present army equipment be scrapped and replaced by that provided by the young inventor from Belgium.
Military men ranted, editorial writers raved, and finally it was decided to arrange a special competition utilizing old equipment and new. When this test was over, the Committee of Impartial Judges issued a unanimous decision. The models of the Belgian inventor were much superior to any currently in use. And so the ambitious young inventor from Belgium signed his name to a contract giving him exclusive right to the manufacture of his invention for soldiers of the French army.
Within a very few years, the invention was adopted by the armed forces of Great Britain, too, and then in the United States. Now surrounded by such 20th century developments as radar, jet engines, and guided missiles, this invention, patented in Paris in 1846, is still on hand in army supply depots, and still, of course, in our dictionaries. I'll type the word out for you right now on my Underwood typewriter, the only typewriter with the golden touch.
The invention of the young man from Brussels was the saxophone, named for its inventor, Adolf Sax. We think of the saxophone primarily as a dance band instrument, but its inventor conceived it originally as an exciting new tonal addition for military marching bands. Young Adolf Sax was handy with his hands and had a talent for invention, but unfortunately was not a very good businessman. He never did make the fortune he dreamed of,
But there were other compensations. At the time Adolf Sachs died in the 1890s, his invention was one of the most popular instruments of the musical scene, which it still is. Countdown for blastoff. X minus 5, 4, 3, 2, X minus 1, fire. X minus 1, fire.
From the far horizons of the unknown come transcribed tales of new dimensions in time and space. These are stories of the future. Adventures in which you'll live in a million could be years on a thousand maybe worlds. The National Broadcasting Company, in cooperation with Galaxy Science Fiction Magazine, presents X-Minus-One. X-Minus-One.
Tonight's story, A Gun for Dinosaur by L. Sprague de Camp. Just whiskey, please. No soda. Ice, Mr. Rivers? Good heavens, no. I have been in America for some time, but not that long. Well, to a fine dinosaur. Well, now, just a moment, Mr. Seligman. I won't take you hunting late Mesozoic dinosaur. Why not?
How much do you weigh, about nine stone? One hundred and thirty pounds. Yeah, I thought so. It's not heavy enough. But your advertisement. You said safaris arranged to any time period. Well, I'll take you to any period in the Cenozoic. I'll get you a shot at any entelodont or even mammoth or mastodon. They have fine heads.
But I'll jolly well not take you to the Jurassic or the Cretaceous. You're just too small. But what's my weight got to do with it? Look here, old boy. What did you think you were going to shoot those dinosaur with? Well, I... Look over here in this case. That's my own gun, a Continental 600. That shoots a pair of Nitro Express cartridges the size of bananas. It's designed for knocking down elephant, not just wounding them, but knocking them base over apex. Well, now I've handled guns. Oh?
Look, I've been guiding hunting parties for over 20 years. But I've never known a man your size who could handle a 6-0-0. It knocks him over. People have killed elephant with lighter guns, even a 375. Ah, yes, but consider an elephant weighs, well, let's say from 4 to 6 ton. You're planning to shoot reptiles weighing 2 to 3 times as much as an elephant. I tell you, Mr. Seligman, I won't take anybody hunting dinosaur who can't handle a 6-0-0. Look, let's pour another drink and I'll tell you why.
You see, I went into the partnership with the Raja about five years ago. I call him that because he's the hereditary monarch of Janpur. It means nothing, of course. We both wanted to do a bit of hunting again. And Africa's all played out. It's too civilized now. So when we heard of Professor Prohaska's time machine at Washington University, we caught the next plane to St. Louis. The foundation administering the machine had worked out an arrangement splitting the time between scientific parties and hunters who wanted to try their luck at prehistoric game.
Hunters paid through the nose, of course, to support the project. Well, it was about our fifth safari that Courtney James showed up. He's what you chaps call a playboy, a big bloke, handsome in a way, flurried, beginning to turn to fat. He was on his fourth wife. And when he showed up at the office with a blonde, I assumed that this was the fourth Mrs. James. But he left her in the outer office and corrected my assumption.
Bunny? Oh, no, she's not my wife. My wife is in Mexico, I think, getting a divorce. But Bunny here would like to go along. I'm sorry. We don't take ladies. Not to the late Mesozoic. If she wants to go, she'll go. She skis and flies my airplane, so why shouldn't she... There are enough risks at 85 million B.C. without adding to them. I'm sorry, but it's against the firm's policy. Now, look here. I'm paying you a lot of money. I'm entitled... You can't hire me to do anything against my best judgment.
Now, if that's how you feel, get another guide. All right, all right. But let me tell you. Oh, it ended with my telling him to get out of the office or I'd throw him out. And I was thinking sadly of all that lovely money that James would have paid me when in came another Sahib.
An August Holtsinger, slim bald chap with glasses. Mr. Rivers, I don't want you to think I'm here under false pretenses. I'm really not much of an outdoorsman, and I'll probably be scared to death when I see a real dinosaur. Well, most of us are frightened at first, but it doesn't do to speak of it. Well, you see, I've always run a grocery store till my uncle died, and, uh, well, I've got a great deal of money now. Uh-huh. And I'm building a new house. I'm engaged, you know, getting married, and, uh,
Well, I'm determined to hang a dinosaur head over my fireplace or die in the attempt. A ceratopsian, I think. That's the one with the big horned head and the frill over the neck, isn't it? Well, you want to think twice about that, you know. If you put a seven-foot triceratops head into a small living room, there's apt to be no room left for anything else. I know it's ridiculous, but I'm determined to do something big for once.
Since there's no more real big game hunting, I'm going to shoot a dinosaur and hang his head over my mantle. I'll never be happy otherwise. The Roger and I decided to make it to the Middle Cretaceous. That's about 85 million years ago.
It's the best period for dinosaur in Missouri. So, we drove Holtzinger into the country to let him try the 6-0-0. It's rather heavy. Look, you look out. There's quite a kick. Couldn't you fire it prone? Oh, not a gun that big. There's not enough give you'd break your shoulder. All right. Take the safety off. Like this? Take my hand. I'll help you up. Thank you. I think I'd better try something smaller.
Well, he took a fancy to my Manchester 70, chambered for a 375 Magnum cartridge. It's a little light for elephant, and very definitely light for dinosaur, but we were in a hurry. And then, of course, just before we were ready to trek, James showed up and apologized for insulting me. He'd had a run-in with the girl, and he wanted to go along. And so we were off on safari.
You all ready, gentlemen? Why, yes, I suppose so. Mr. Holsinger, you've met my partner, the Raja of Jaipur. How do you do, sir? How do you do? Well, shall we get cracking? After you, Mr. Holsinger. Mr. James. Thank you. Let's get going. All set. We'll slam the hatch and off we go. What happens? Nothing till the force field is built up. Ah, there she goes. What happened to the lights? Well, there's no current while we're in transition. I don't feel well. Oh.
There's usually a touch of vertigo. I shouldn't worry about it. Look, what do you shoot for? I mean with dinosaur. What is the best shot? Well, you don't try for his brain, you know. They don't have any. Well, to be exact, they have a little bump about the size of a tennis ball on the top of their spines...
and you're not likely to hit it when it's embedded in a six-foot skull. Try for the heart. They have big hearts, over 100 pounds. An exploding shell in the heart will slow them down, at least. Oh, I see. Why do we have to go so far for a game? Why couldn't we just go back 50 years and shoot lions in Africa? Well, the machine won't work more recently than 100,000 years ago. Why? Well, look, I'm no four-dimensional expert on the subject, but it has something to do with what they call time paradox. You know, if...
People could go back to recent times. They might do something to affect history or kill their own grandfather, you know. And there's also some kind of taboo about sending people back to the same time again. Paradoxes. Mustn't have them. What would happen? I'm not sure, but the university isn't taking chances. They've got about a billion years to cover. They won't run out of eras. Hello? Here we go. Oh, cheers, eh? Well, that's done it. April 24th.
85 million years BC. Now then, careful. Keep the safety on your gun. And don't shoot unless I give the word. Why? Why should we have to wait for you? Because I'm responsible for everything you do. Especially if something goes wrong. I say, Roger, open the door, will you? In this period, the time chamber materializes on top of a rocky rise. At the west, you see the arm of the Kansas Sea that reaches across Missouri and the big swamp where the sauropods live. To the east...
The land slopes up to a plateau. It's good for ceratopsians. The finest thing about the Cretaceous is the climate. It's balmy like the South Sea islands, and not so muggy as the Jurassic. Oh, he sent the time chamber back off and looked about. It was spring, with the dwarf magnolias in bloom all over. Down towards the Kansas Sea, cycads and willows grew, while the uplands were covered with screw pins and ginkgo. Yeah, well, I'm no ruddy poet, but I can appreciate a beautiful scene.
Well, I was looking through the haze and sniffing the air. I got him! I got him! What the devil? You see it? There it goes. Confound it, you idiot. I told you not to shoot without word from me. And what happened? An anithamine wandered out of the cops. Mr. James gave him both barrels. Missed. Now look here, James. One of the biggest dangers on a safari is trigger-happy sides who get panicky. You're not to shoot unless you're told. You understand? Who do you think you are to tell me when to shoot my own game? Now look here.
Firstly, if you shoot off all your ammunition before the trip is over, your gun won't be available in case of a pinch. And secondly, if you empty both barrels, what would happen if a big theropod should charge before you could reload? And finally, it's not sporting to shoot everything in sight. Is that clear? All right. All right. Well, now then, first task is fresh meat. All right.
As I told you, Holsinger wanted a ceratopsian head. James insisted on a tyrannosaur. Then everybody would think that he'd shot the most dangerous game. The fact is that tyrannosaurs overrated. But everybody's read about the tyrant lizard and... Well, he does have the biggest head of the theropods. Oh, and he'll snap you up if he gets the chance, no fear. Oh, we started off searching for meat. The raja and I put the sahibs in front.
Yet we tell them it's so that they'll get the first shot, which is true, but another reason is that they're always tripping and falling with their guns cocked, and if the guy were in front, he'd get shot. Boneheads. Where? See? Crouching over there, feeding on those psychids. He's about the size of a man. They look intelligent. Not likely. That bulge on the head is solid bone. Now then, hold on there, James. You've had your shot for the day. Hold your fire until Holsinger shoots. Yeah, sure, sure.
All right, go ahead, Mr. Holsinger. It doesn't matter which one? No, here. Try that one by the rock. There's a good clear shot. Well, take your safety off. Oh. Go ahead now. Well, shh. I'm nuts. I've had enough of this. James, don't! I got him clean right through the heart. First shot. How's that? I thought you were going to give Holsinger the first crack. It's his turn. Well, I waited. Took so long, I thought he'd gotten buck fever. Very well. But if this sort of thing happens once more, we leave you at camp the next time we go out.
the next couple of days we trekked around the neighborhood and then headed over to the sauropod swamp over to the west we were staked out along the edge of the lake watching a big beggar out in the swamp waving his head about and they're the big ones it looks something like the brontosaur can't we shoot him i wouldn't why not well there's no point to it and it's not sporting look if you kill one in the water he sinks and can't be recovered and if you kill one on land well the only trophy is that little head on the top of that long neck
You can't bring that whole beast back because he weighs 30 tons or more. That museum in New York got one. Oh, yes. Well, they sent a party of 48 to the early Cretaceous with a .50 caliber machine gun. They spent two solid months hacking and sawing the carcass apart and hauling it to the time machine. I know the chap on the project, and he still has nightmares in which he smells decomposed dinosaur. And they also had to kill a dozen big sauropods who came in for the party. Then they had them lying around, too.
They lost three men. Reggie, duckbill. Where? Where are they? Up there at the shoreline. Now, keep your voices down. You see? With a crest on the back of their heads. Mr. Rivers, I've been thinking over what you said about those heads. If I could get one of those duckbills, I'd be satisfied. It'd look big enough over my mantle. I'm sure of it, old boy. Well, let's be off. Roger, you wait here with Mr. James. Shouldn't take us long. Oh.
Holt and I crept along the shoreline, narrowing the range to the duckbills. I think I can make the shot from here. I'll be ready in a minute, Marie. Shoe is loose. He's getting away! I won't get a shot! I'm afraid Mr. James has fired both barrels again. James, that's the second time you spoiled my shots. I ought to... Don't be a fool. I couldn't let them wander into camp stamping everything flat. There was no danger to that. You can see that the water is deep offshore.
It's just that our trigger-happy Mr. James can't see any animal without shooting. And if it did get close, all you have to do is to throw a stick of firewood at it. They're perfectly harmless. Well, how was I to know? I believe I mentioned it. Well, what are we on this miserable trip for except to shoot things? There are certain rules, you know. You call yourselves hunters. I'm the only one who was hitting anything. Now, just a moment, old man. You're behaving like a confounded skite with more money than brains.
I should never have brought you along. That's how you feel. Give me some food and I'll go back to the base by myself. Don't be a bigger ass than you can help. That's quite impossible. All right, I'll go alone. I wouldn't want to pollute your air with my presence. That's an attractive thought, Reggie, but we can't let him go. He'll get lost or starve. All right, I'll go after him. We stumbled along for several more days. James on his good behavior for a change. And on the 1st of May, we broke camp and headed north to the hills. That was hot and sticky.
We were soon panting and sweating like horses when I picked up the smell of carrion and heard the thrumming of the flies. We found a huge ceratopsian lying dead in a little hollow on the edge of the copse. He must have weighed six or eight tons alive. Why couldn't I have gotten him before he died? That would have made a darn fine head. On your toes, chaps. The sauropod that's been at this carcass is probably nearby. How do you know? We see how the hide's been ripped off and the bones are scattered.
Sauropods will hang around a carcass like this for weeks, gorging and then sleeping their meals off for days at a time. What do we do? Well, that's what we came after. Look, Roger, you take Mr. James through that way, and we'll parallel you 40 feet distant. Now keep your eyes open. It'll be hard to see in these woods unless you're right on top of him. We pushed through the edge of the copse, looking for the huge flesh-eater who'd been at the carcass. I could hear James and the Rajah pushing ahead on my right.
We were separated by a gully when I heard a noise ahead on our left. What is it? I don't know. Take the safety off your gun. Oh, there it is. It's one of those boneheads. Oh, well, they're not dangerous at any rate. But be careful. That sauropod might still be around. I've got him! Got him clean! Well, he's done it again. He's shot the bonehead. I've got him! Look out! Look out! Tyrannosaur! Tyrannosaur!
The Tyrannosaur heaved his head out of a shrubbery just in front of us. Look, the scientists can insist that Rex is bigger than Trionkeys, but I'll swear that this Tyrannosaur was bigger than any Rex ever hatched. It must have stood 20 feet high and been 50 feet long. I could see its big, bright eye and six-inch teeth. He'd been sleeping off his last meal, and James fired off both barrels over his head at the bonehead and woke the Tyrannosaur up. Get back! Get back, you fool! His gun's empty and Roger can't get a shot.
Found it. There goes the beast in behind those ferns. Holtsinger. Holtsinger! Come back. Your gun's too light for that beggar. James came bolting back in a panic and blundered into the Raja, sending both of them sprawling under the ferns. The Tyrannosaur came after them to snap them up. Holtsinger began to blaze away. He got off three shots through the beast's body with that little light gun. The Tyrannosaur whirled around to see what was stinging it.
The jaws came open, and the head swung around and down again. Holtsinger got off one more shot and tried to leap to one side. The Tyrannosaur continued its lunge and caught him in its jaws as he fell. Reggie! Reggie! Stand clear! Hot! Hot's the only chance! It's no use! There he goes! Try a long shot! Ah, no. Missed him clean. Poor Holtsinger. Well, that's the end. You stopped screaming. Did you notice? Oh, yes.
Well, I expect we'd best track the beast. He might be dying. We should try to recover Holtsinger's remains. Yes, there's nothing else to do. No, nothing. The bad show all round. An hour later, we gave up and went back to the glade looking very dismal. Where have you two been? We were occupied.
The late Mr. Holsinger. Remember? He shouldn't have gone off and left me. None of those things might have come along. Isn't it bad enough to lose one hunter through your stupidity? What? Sure, you put us in front of you so if anybody gets eaten, it's one of us. That's... You stinking little swine. If you hadn't been a first-class idiot and blown those two barrels again, this never would have happened. Holsinger died trying to save your worthless life.
And I wish he'd failed. Well, I ought to... Now then, my ladybug, I'm glad you did that. It gives me a chance I've been waiting for. Now get up, and I'll be glad to finish off. You won't finish anybody off. All right, put your hands up, both of you. Put that gun away. Don't be an idiot. I won't let anybody do that to me. You can't get away with murder. Why not? There won't be much left of you after you're hit with a 600-explosive shell. Nobody could prove anything.
They can't hold you for a murder 85 million years old. The statute of limitations, you know. Nice work, Roger, old chap. Cretaceous rock. Doesn't quite have the balance of a cricket ball, but it's a bit harder. What? Well, suppose we tie this chap up and take him back to camp. When the time transition chamber finally arrived, we fell over one another getting into it. We dumped James in a corner and threw the switches.
You two should have killed me back there. Why? You don't have a particularly good head. You wouldn't look at all well over a mantle. You can laugh, but I'll get you someday. Close quarters, isn't it? Someday I'll find a way. I'll find a way and I'll get off scot-free too. My dear chap, if there was some way to do it, I'd have you charged with Holsinger's murder. Look, you'd best let well enough alone. No, no, I'll kill you. Both of you. Somehow. Cigarette, Roger? Thanks.
When we came out in the present, we handed him his empty gun and off he went. We paid everybody off, found that we were broke. But quite luckily, a steel manufacturer turned up who wanted a mastodon head for his den.
Well, we were standing in the laboratory at the university waiting for the time chamber. The technician, he's a bookish chap, a theoretical temporal physicist, was watching his dials and scopes. Oh, by the way, Mr. Rivers, you just missed him. Missed who? That last client of yours, Mr. James. Well, that's good luck. What was he doing here? Oh, he told me quite a tale. Said he'd lost his wallet back there. Said it contained some very valuable papers.
Must have been valuable. Paid the university fee of $5,000 for the use of the chamber. He's on his way back there now. Back where? Well, he told me to send him back a few minutes before you arrived the last time. Then he could see himself drop the wallet. He's going to stand there and watch himself come out? Yeah, but doesn't that create what you chaps call a paradox?
What happens when a man tries to occupy the same time twice? We don't know. It's never been tried before. We tried to warn him, but he insisted. Yes, I know. He's a headstrong chap. Still, you wouldn't think he'd chance it just for the sake of a wallet. Was he armed? Yes. He had a .375 Express. .375? That's odd. He knows it's too light for dinosaurs. Yes, but not too light for a man. Say, Roger, you don't think Mr. James is lurking behind a bush back there until we show up again? No.
I'm planning to pot us as we step out. That's impossible. We already did step out of the chamber and nothing happened. Yeah, but that was before Mr. James was waiting with an express rifle cocked. Eh, Doctor? You mean he's planning to murder the two of you? I wouldn't be a bit surprised. I... I don't suppose there's anything you could do to stop the process now. No, it's too late. The chamber's in transition now. Look, hadn't you better get out of here before he kills you? There's no point in running.
If Mr. James' theory is right, if we've both been dead for 85 million years, we might as well wait and see what happens. Transition point coming up. Well, it's been quite a world up to this point. Eh, Roger? Yes, quite. Here it goes. Reggie, are you all right? Well, I seem to be. What happened? The time chamber. It's back. We'd better get it open. Oh!
Good Lord, look at that. Ghastly, isn't it? Where did it come from? I'm not sure. I'd rather think it came from the Middle Cretaceous era. It wasn't here a moment ago. Ghastly mess. Looks as if every bone was pulverized and every blood vessel burst. I dare say. But that's his gun, all right. It's James, there's no doubt of it. So, that's the story, Mr. Seligman. Of course, I don't understand the mathematics, but the idea's rather easy to grasp.
Nobody had shot us when we first emerged on the 24th of April, 85 million BC. So, of course, that couldn't be changed. The instant James started to do anything that would make a paradox, the space-time forces snapped him forward and ripped him to bits. Well, they know a good deal about that now, and there's a safety margin of 500 years between each trip. You can't have paradoxes, you know. It just isn't done. And you see, I'm a lot more careful now.
I shouldn't have taken James when I knew what a spoiled, unstable sort he was. Or Holtsinger either, when I saw that he was too small to shoot a dinosaur gun. With a heavier gun, he'd probably have knocked the tyrannosaur down and saved his own life. So, Mr. Sillingman, that's why I won't take you to that period to hunt. I'm sorry, but you're just too light. You're not big enough to handle a gun for dinosaur.
You have just heard X-1, presented by the National Broadcasting Company, in cooperation with Galaxy Science Fiction Magazine, which this month features the story of a man who develops a spaceship that travels so fast that its pilots vanish mysteriously into thin air. Read the Vaughn Shelton story, Point of Departure, in Galaxy Magazine, on your newsstand now.
Tonight by transcription, X-1 has brought you A Gun for Dinosaur, a story from the pages of Galaxy written by L. Sprague de Camp, patent consultant and one of our leading authors of science fiction. It was adapted for radio by Ernest Canoy. Featured in the cast were Alastair Duncan, Wendell Holmes, John Gibson, Donald Buka, Warren Parker, and Alan Hewitt. Your announcer, Fred Collins.
X-1 was directed by Daniel Sutter and is an NBC Radio Network production. I'm not big on trends. Never really have been. So, I can't be trusted when it comes to clothes shopping for others. I'm married to someone who does understand what looks good.
Quince.com asked me to endorse them on Weird Darkness, and at first I thought, eh, that's a bad idea, for reasons I've already laid out. But I let my bride check out their website, and, well, she immediately started shopping for Christmas, birthdays, Mother's Day, Just Because Day, apparently that's a real thing, and now she keeps going back to Quince.com. Their lightweight layers and high-quality staples have become a go-to place for everyday essentials now.
Quince has all the things you actually want to wear this summer, like organic cotton silk polos, European linen beach shorts, and comfortable pants that work for everything from backyard hangs to nice dinners. And the best part? Everything with Quince is half the cost of similar brands.
They work directly with top artisans, so they cut out the middlemen. And Quince gives you luxury pieces without the markups. And Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical, and responsible manufacturing practices and premium fabrics and finishes. I honestly didn't think I needed Quince.com, but Robin says, yeah, I do. Desperately. I think that means she'll be buying some clothes there for me, too.
She's tired of seeing 98% of my closet being weird darkness t-shirts. Go figure. She's also making me out to be the hero in front of my nieces. We got a cute little toddler-sized poplin-smocked flutter-sleeve dress for my youngest great-niece, complete with pink puppies for the pattern. It's adorable, I'll admit that. We got a pair of cotton-stretched skinny jeans coming from my newly-teenaged great-niece, along with a set of organic cotton long-sleeve and pants pajamas.
My oldest niece, the mom in the family, is getting a pair of ultra-soft high-rise pocket leggings. Emphasis on pocket. That's a pet peeve of my bride. She refuses to buy pants without pockets. And we're also sending a pair of ultra-form high-rise leggings. I would look horrible in all of this stuff, but the ladies in the family are going to look awesome. Of course, we'll be going back to quince.com in the next few days to begin shopping for the nephews.
I'm not allowed to pick out those clothes either. Robin just does not trust me. Good call. Stick to the staples that last with elevated essentials from Quince. Go to quince.com slash weirddarkness for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's quince, Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash weirddarkness to get free shipping and 365 day returns. quince.com slash weirddarkness
Okay, yeah, I gotta admit, this t-shirt is kind of fading. My guess is that you've heard a lot of people talking about Factor, the two-minute meals packed with nutrition. Up until recently, though, I didn't really care much about nutrition. I was into convenience. Burgers, pizza, you get the drift. But, well, the older you get, the more you realize nutrition is kind of important.
At the same time, convenience is still crucial for me. I am busier now than I've ever been in my life, so eating food fast without eating fast food is a bit of a challenge. Was a bit of a challenge. With Factor, I get to check both of those off my list. I just heat it up, and two minutes later, I'm sticking a fork in it.
Factor is more than convenient though. I don't even have to jump into my car to go through a drive-thru or pay a bunch of extra money so I can wait 30 minutes to an hour for a delivery app to come through for me. Factor meals arrive directly at my door, fresh and ready to eat. And with my new weight loss goals, the menu options are a real bonus. They have gourmet meals if I want to be calorie smart or pack on the protein, go keto and more. They have 45 weekly menu options.
How many weeks are there in a year? 52? Yeah, that's pretty dang close to a different menu for each week. I can use Factor for breakfast, quick lunches, premium dinners, even guilt-free snacks and desserts. Imagine that. Snacking without guilt. I didn't think that was possible. If you'd like to join me on this journey, you can visit factormeals.com slash darkness50off, then use the code darkness50off to get 50% off and free shipping in your first box.
That's factormeals.com slash darkness50off. Then use the code darkness50off to get 50% off and free shipping. Hey everyone, this is Carrie Champion, the host of Naked Sports. When you sit behind the wheel of the all-new 2025 Nissan Armada Pro 4X, you'll feel like the entire world is your playground. And you'd be right.
because this unshakable fortress of a vehicle is built to take you on your next adventure. With the twin-turbo V6 engine, the all-new Armada is powerful enough to take you anywhere. With its 8,500 pounds of toying capacity, it will let you bring all your toys along. And with seating for eight, your whole crew can join you.
Nissan created a truly capable vehicle in the all-new Armada. In fact, it's the first Armada to earn the Pro 4X badge, which Nissan reserves for its most adventure-ready vehicles.
The Armada is a big SUV designed and built for big adventures and must be experienced to be appreciated. Drive the all-new 2025 Nissan Armada today. Learn more at NissanUSA.com. Intelligent four-wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. My guess is that you've heard a lot of people talking about Factor, the two-minute meals packed with nutrition.
Up until recently, though, I didn't really care much about nutrition. I was into convenience — burgers, pizza, you get the drift. But the older you get, the more you realize nutrition is kind of important. At the same time, convenience is still crucial for me. I am busier now than I've ever been in my life. So eating food fast without eating fast food is a bit of a challenge. Was a bit of a challenge.
With Factor, I get to check both of those off my list. I just heat it up, and two minutes later, I'm sticking a fork in it.
Factor is more than convenient though. I don't even have to jump into my car to go through a drive-thru or pay a bunch of extra money so I can wait 30 minutes to an hour for a delivery app to come through for me. Factor meals arrive directly at my door, fresh and ready to eat. And with my new weight loss goals, the menu options are a real bonus. They have gourmet meals if I want to be calorie smart or pack on the protein, go keto and more. They have 45 weekly menu options.
How many weeks are there in a year? 52? Yeah, that's pretty dang close to a different menu for each week. I can use Factor for breakfast, quick lunches, premium dinners, even guilt-free snacks and desserts. Imagine that. Snacking without guilt. I didn't think that was possible. If you'd like to join me on this journey, you can visit factormeals.com slash darkness50off, then use the code darkness50off to get 50% off and free shipping in your first box.
That's factormeals.com slash darkness50off, then use the code darkness50off to get 50% off and free shipping. I'm not big on trends, never really have been, so I can't be trusted when it comes to clothes shopping for others. I'm married to someone who does understand what looks good.
Quince.com asked me to endorse them on Weird Darkness, and at first I thought, eh, that's a bad idea, for reasons I've already laid out. But I let my bride check out their website, and, well, she immediately started shopping for Christmas, birthdays, Mother's Day, Just Because Day, apparently that's a real thing, and now she keeps going back to Quince.com. Their lightweight layers and high-quality staples have become a go-to place for everyday essentials now.
Quince has all the things you actually want to wear this summer, like organic cotton silk polos, European linen beach shorts, and comfortable pants that work for everything from backyard hangs to nice dinners. And the best part? Everything with Quince is half the cost of similar brands.
They work directly with top artisans, so they cut out the middlemen, and Quince gives you luxury pieces without the markups. And Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical, and responsible manufacturing practices and premium fabrics and finishes. I honestly didn't think I needed Quince.com, but Robin says, yeah, I do. Desperately. I think that means she'll be buying some clothes there for me, too.
She's tired of seeing 98% of my closet being weird darkness t-shirts. Go figure. She's also making me out to be the hero in front of my nieces. We got a cute little toddler-sized poplin-smocked flutter-sleeve dress for my youngest great-niece, complete with pink puppies for the pattern. It's adorable, I'll admit that. We got a pair of cotton-stretched skinny jeans coming from my newly-teenaged great-niece, along with a set of organic cotton long-sleeve and pants pajamas.
My oldest niece, the mom in the family, is getting a pair of ultra-soft high-rise pocket leggings. Emphasis on pocket. That's a pet peeve of my bride. She refuses to buy pants without pockets. And we're also sending a pair of ultra-form high-rise leggings. I would look horrible in all of this stuff, but the ladies in the family are going to look awesome. Of course, we'll be going back to quince.com in the next few days to begin shopping for the nephews.
I'm not allowed to pick out those clothes either. Robin just does not trust me. Good call. Stick to the staples that last with elevated essentials from Quince. Go to quince.com slash weirddarkness for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's quince, Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash weirddarkness to get free shipping and 365 day returns. quince.com slash weirddarkness
Okay, yeah, I got to admit, this t-shirt is kind of fading. Hey everyone, this is Keri Champion, the host of Naked Sports. When you sit behind the wheel of the all-new 2025 Nissan Armada Pro 4X, you'll feel like the entire world is your playground, and you'd be right.
because this unshakable fortress of a vehicle is built to take you on your next adventure. With the twin-turbo V6 engine, the all-new Armada is powerful enough to take you anywhere. With its 8,500 pounds of toying capacity, it will let you bring all your toys along. And with seating for eight, your whole crew can join you.
Nissan created a truly capable vehicle in the all-new Armada. In fact, it's the first Armada to earn the Pro 4X badge, which Nissan reserves for its most adventure-ready vehicles.
Find now for the best in mystery.
Tonight on Masters of Mystery, an exciting melodrama entitled Murder in Haste. All I ask is that you forget you ever saw me. I could go to the police. I'll make it worth your while. I'll pay handsomely. And if I say no? Then I'll have no choice but murder. Murder in Haste
Good evening. This is Don Dowd, your host for Mystery Time. Back again to introduce another in ABC Radio's great Monday through Friday lineup of mystery dramas. Every night at this time, a new and different story. Our drama tonight on Masters of Mystery, presented live from New York, is written by Eleanor Beeson and titled Murder in Haste.
Not everyone gets a chance for a fresh start, a new identity. When Albert Taylor gets such an opportunity, he feels that Lady Luck has done him a wonderful favor. Until he discovers that it takes more than a change of name to wipe out a guilty past. As Masters of Mystery brings you Murder in Haste. She lay where she had fallen, close to the fireplace.
Her head had struck against the iron, the pandine. Blood slowly gathered in the pool on the bricks. I called her name. Helen. Helen. She did not answer. I had meant to hurt her badly, but now my wife was dead. I bent over and felt her heart, and Helen was dead, all right. We'd had our last quarrel, and now I'd killed her.
It took me only a moment to decide on my course of action. If I called the police, they'd never believe it was an accident. I had to get away. I'd changed my name. I'd no longer be Albert Taylor. I'd get a fresh start in a new city. I grabbed up my hat and coat, packed a bag, took what money I had, and slipped out of the house. Two hours and 20 minutes later, I was standing on the observation platform of the limited express bound for New York. ♪♪
Uh, nice night, isn't it? Huh? Oh, I didn't hear you come out. I'm sorry, I said it was a nice night. Uh, yeah, yes, yes. I saw you running for the train when we were pulling out. Just made it, didn't you? Uh, yeah, kind of close. Been in Miami long? Uh, no, no, been fishing off the Keys just a week or so. I see. Uh, my name's Ricky. I'm glad to know you. I'm...
Brown. Richard Brown. Are you going up to New York, Brown? Uh, yes. Well, I guess I'll be getting in time. That's a good idea. I'll, uh, go with you. I knew it the minute he opened his mouth. Ricketts was a plainclothes customer. There could only be one reason why he was interested in me. He stayed right behind me as I walked back through the train to my seat. I wondered if he'd even sit down beside me when I got to him. Then...
Ten feet from my seat. It hit me. My luggage was on the baggage rack over the seat. With my initials on it in big letters. E.T. Ricketts was just waiting for me to stop. Just waiting for proof I was Elva Taylor. Then he'd make the arrest. But I didn't stop. I kept on going. Ah, Brown. Yeah? Isn't this your seat? Why, no. I have a compartment up ahead. Oh, I see. Well, good night, Brown. Good night.
Ricketts dropped into a seat and I kept right on going. There was only one place I could go, the club car. At least I could get a drink there and try to think. Oh, Barton, the naked Manhattan driver.
Here's a stool next to me, sir. What? Oh, thanks. Okay. Going to New York? Yes. Ought to be cold up there this time of year. Lots of snow and all that. Yes, I suppose so. You know, I'm as excited as a kid. Haven't seen snow for an age. Matter of fact, I haven't set foot in America for five years. Great to be back. I get a kick out of just talking to Americans again. Yes. Yeah.
I was sitting in my compartment a few minutes ago, thinking... You've got a compartment? Yes, yes, a couple of cars ahead. Well, my name's Brown, Mr... Jameson, Leslie Jameson. Jameson. Hold on, wait a minute. You're not the mystery writer. Yeah, afraid I am. Oh, thanks, Walter. Well, here's to bigger and better mysteries. Okay.
So, uh, you say you left Buenos Aires? Yes. Planned to anyway, but made a little earlier on account of that nasty business about my assistant. Oh, I see. Probably go back in a year or so. Say, you ever read anything of mine, Mr. Brown? I can't say I've done much reading in the detective storyline. You have a serial running in one of the magazines right now, haven't you? Yes, yes. Murder in Haste.
I don't suppose you're reading it. I'm sorry. If I'd known I was going to meet the author, I'd have boomed up on it. Don't apologize, Mr. Bowne. Well, how about a nightcap before we turn in? We'll not turn in. Well, it's early at Jameson. Surely you're not going to give up the ship so soon. Well, I have to confess I'm pretty tired. I've been rattling on about myself all evening. Oh, there you are. Oh, thanks. Say, that's beautiful branding. I'm better.
Well, what'll we drink? Oh, well, you name it. Very well. Here's to crime. A mighty profitable business. To me, at least. Tell me about your literary agent. You were saying you'd never met him personally? Oh, Farrow. Oh, yeah, great agent. I've often wondered what he looks like. You've never even been to New York? No, no, never.
Oh, well, Mr. Brown, it's close to midnight. I feel... Jameson, what about this cereal you're running? Maybe you could bring me up to date on it. I'll tell you all about it tomorrow. Right now, I'm awfully tired. Well, it's early yet. I'll see you here. I hate to be rude, but I'll have to ask you... Good heavens! What's that? I'm trying to stop it. I hope...
When I came to, it was dark. I was lying in a tangle of wreckage all around me. And all around me I could hear shouts and cries, the hiss of steam. But in the tangled mess of steel and wood that had been a Pullman coach, I was miraculously safe. I pulled myself up, lit a match, and saw that Leslie Jamison hadn't been so lucky. He was dead.
I couldn't do a thing for him, and the hiss of flames warned me the wreckage was a fire. I found where the window had been and managed to crawl out. I was pulling myself through the window when somebody came running up with a flashlight. Just a second. Now, let me help you. Oh, thanks. Here, take my hand. Easy now. Look out for the broken glass. Yeah, that's it. Thanks, thanks. You all right? I think so. I'm a little dizzy. Shaken up. Oh, sure, that's natural.
Oh, it's you, Brown. Huh? Oh, Ricketts. Yeah. Hey, you're lucky. This coach got the worst of it. Look at that fire. Yeah. Just got out in time. Say, that fellow you were drinking with at the bar, is he still in there? Who? Who? I'm pretty sure he's Albert E. Taylor. Murdered his wife in Miami. Is he still in there? No, he left a few minutes before the crash. Oh. Oh.
Well, you better get on up ahead, Brown. I've got to give him a hand here. Can you make it to the crossing? There's a highway restaurant up there. Sure, I'm okay. Okay, Brown. Take it easy. For a moment, I stood there, dazed, watching the fire crawl closer. Then as my mind cleared, I saw what an opportunity had been given to me. It was a risk, but I had to take it. I crawled back into the wreckage to Leslie Jameson's body. I took his wallet, his ring, his watch. I left my ring and watch engraved with my initials with him.
I was left of him. Then, as the flames crawled steadily closer, I found his briefcase and baggage and dragged them out of the wreck. Ten minutes later, with my identity now changed to Leslie Jameson, I staggered into the restaurant at the grade crossing where the derailment had occurred. Hurt, mister? We got a doctor in the back room. Come on, I'll take you in. No, no, I'm just a little shaken up. I want to get out of here. I thought I could hire a car or get a bus to New York. You were in the wreck? Yes, I was. What's your name? Uh, I'm...
I'm Leslie Jamison. Leslie Jamison? Say, are you the fellow who writes those murder mistakes?
Yes, yes, that's right. Well, if that ain't a coincidence. Only last night I made a bet with Frank, that's my boyfriend, as to which one would turn out to be the murderer in that serial you're running in the post. Well, that's very flattering. I wonder if you could help me about the bus, I mean. Sure, Mr. Jameson. But how about giving me an advance tip on the murderer, huh? Which one? Well, I don't think it would be fair to tell you. Now, give me a fast cup of coffee, will you, young lady? Yes, sir. Ricketts. Oh, hello. Hello.
It's pretty rough out there. Three cars smashed up. How do you feel, Brown? Well, that's Leslie Jameson, the writer. Huh? I thought your name was Brown. Well, of course I... Well, you know how it is. I... Here's your coffee. Thanks. I know, Mr. Brown, I don't know how it is. Will you see if it gets... I didn't want to lose it.
Boy, I get it. I've been reading Mr. Jameson's serial in the post-murdering hate. I had a little bet with my boyfriend on who the murderer is. Well, I can tell you that. I read the last installment last night. Yeah? Yeah. Got it at the newsstand in Miami. We ain't got it here yet. Well, Mr. Jameson...
Who done it? Well, I don't want to spoil the story for you. You ought to finish it. Afraid I won't buy another copy of the magazine, huh? Well, it's a matter of ethics. A writer can't... Oh, what do you mean, ethics? I know how it ends. Please, Mr. Jamison. I can tell Frank I got it straight from the author's mouth. Ah, come on. What goes, huh? Well...
I don't want... Oh, besides, there's a car driving. Perhaps I could hire... Well, that's for me. I'm driving up to New York. Mr. Jameson here wants to get to New York, too. Was I right, Jameson? Why didn't you come with me? Give me a hand with the driving. Come on. Well, I... Well, first, give the young lady a break. Tell her who the murderer was. Well, I'm sorry. It's against my principle. Well, it's your business. Come on. Oh, a mess.
It was the butler. You got hotel space in New York, Jameson? Well, not yet. I thought I'd arrange it when I arrived. Ah, you've been away a long time, haven't you? There's probably not a decent room to be had. Oh, is it that bad? Oh, it's worse. I think I might be able to fix you up at the Midbury. I, uh... No, the manager... Oh, I couldn't possibly... Oh, forget it, Jameson. Glad to help you here.
After all, aren't we both in the same business? In a manner of speaking. Well, I got a room at the mid-barrette. The night before, the manager had tipped off a reporter that I was Leslie Jamison. And as I crossed the lobby, I heard a flashlight bolt. The next day, there were pictures of me in all the papers. There was a story on the inside pages of the paper that Albert Taylor wanted for killing his wife in Miami.
had been identified as one of the dead in the train wreck in Georgia. That should have meant I was safe. But now, five million people had seen my picture as Leslie Jamison. What if one of them had known me down in Miami? I waited with mounting apprehension for the knock on the door that would announce the police. And I wished Helen was back again alive. Helen would know what to do. She was a domineering woman, but she knew how to make decisions. Then suddenly the phone rang.
It was the manager to tell me that Mrs. Jameson was on her way up. My wife. I hadn't even known Jameson was married. I walked up and down, my mind whirling frantically. I had to get away, and then the door buzzer rang. It rang again. And again. And I had to answer it. There was nothing else I could do. Just a moment. Leslie. Hello. What... What do you... Maybe I'd better come in. Well...
Well, what? What are you going to do about it? You're an awfully simple sort, aren't you, Mrs. Mr. Whatever-Your-Name-Is. Well, I suppose I am. How did you expect to get away with it after all the publicity? Where is he? What have you done to him? Now, wait a minute, Mrs. Jamison. I can explain. Maybe you'd better. Look, your husband was killed in that train wreck in Georgia. I... I had reasons for wanting to disappear, so I took his identity. I never meant to keep it. If you'll just...
Just what? Look, Beth, there's nothing we can do for your husband now. He was killed. You believe that, don't you? I don't know. I'm going to leave town. All I ask is that you forget you ever saw me. I see. Well, is that all you're going to say? What are you going to do? I could go to the police. No, wait a minute, wait a minute. I can make it worth your while to... Stop banning me.
Does, uh... Does anyone know you're here in New York? No, no. Hmm. Very fortunate. You see, Leslie and I didn't get along. Matter of fact, we've been separated for some time. He said he was cutting me out of his will. So, with Leslie dead, I don't get anything at all. But with Leslie alive... Wait a minute. Why, you wouldn't... Why not? He could retire right now and live off his royalties without doing another lick. You mean you...
You want me to keep this up? Don't be ridiculous. There are a dozen reasons why I can't feel discomfort in a week. You have his baggage? Yes. I know his signature. I can imitate it perfectly. I know his background like a book. You may as well get used to it, Mr. Jameson. I tell you, I won't do it. But it's the most fantastic thing I ever heard of. There's a Lieutenant Ricketts down in the lobby. He's been quite interested in our relationship.
If you like, of course, I'll bring him up to date. All right, Mrs. Jameson. Albert, darling, just call me Ruth. Ruth? Ruth! What is it? I tell you, this can't go on. You're spending money as if you had no self-control at all. $28,000 in three months, besides the deposits I made to your account.
Here, look at these bills. Look at them. I haven't got a penny. Are you all through? There's your quarterly royalty check due tomorrow. Well, that'll only pay part of the bills. It's not paying any of them, darling. It's going into my account. I see. And maybe you have some clever way of getting out from under these bills. That's your worry, dear, not mine. Oh.
Five, 17, 14, 32. Having trouble? Oh, nothing important. Just that my account's overdrawn by $5,000. Well, of course, you could finish your book, dear. Sure, finish the book. Writer Leslie Jamison, mystery. Well, then I suppose you have to think of something else. Ruth, be honest with me. How long do you intend to carry this on? Why, indefinitely, dearie.
There's to be no end. There is, if you want one. There's always the police. You could have been decent about it. Instead of spending money so... so irrationally. There could have been plenty without bleeding me to death. I think I've been quite fair with you. You've got... kept your freedom. Freedom? Freedom? Six months now.
No sleep or worry ain't can't eat. This isn't good. I've been haunted by worry night and day, trying to dodge my own shadow, afraid all the time. An irrational woman spending money as if she were insane, holding a dagger over my head. Get a hold of yourself. And now there's no way out. Trapped. Run into a corner. No way to turn. No end in sight. Nothing to do but go on and on until I break unless... Elvis. Unless... Elvis, what are you doing? Stay away from me!
Yes, sir? You're... You're the desk sergeant? That's right. What can I do for you? You... You... You can take down the statement. I... I... What's the matter, mister? I... I... I...
I've just killed my wife. That's how it happened, Sergeant. Then I wandered around the streets all night. I thought about running away, then it all seemed so useless to run away again a second time. So I came here. I'm sorry.
Now I can relax. For the first time in months, I can relax. Sure, take it easy, Mr. Jameson. We'll take care of you. Aren't you going over there and find her? We've been there. Found her an hour after you did it. Been looking for you all night. Let's see. You may as well know she's not my wife. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we know, Mr. Jameson. She was your assistant, Buenos Aires. You say she was shaking you down. What did she have on you, huh?
My assistant? Where's Iris? Yeah, that's right. Your assistant. Have you, uh, have you had a lapse of memory or something, Jameson? The assistant? I remember now. Now tell me, Jameson, what was she threatening to take you to the police? Huh? Okay. But a three-year-old would have known it was a bluff. That's the last thing in the world she would have done. You don't know her. She wasn't rational. She would have done anything. Not if it meant her neck, pal. What's happened to your memory, Jameson?
It was all over Buenos Aires six months ago. Every newspaper. She's wanted down there for murder. This is Don Dowd again, your host for Mystery Time. You have just heard Masters of Mystery live from New York.
Tonight's play, Murder in Haste, was written by Eleanor Beeson and produced by Martin Andrews in association with Ronald Dawson and Robert Archer. Featured in tonight's drama were Richard Janiver, Ralph Bell, Ivor Francis, and Connie Lemke.
Next Wednesday and every Wednesday night, another presentation of Masters of Mystery. Tomorrow night, Mystery Time brings you Mystery Classics, presenting a searing story by Ed Adamson with the eerie title, Death Watch. This is Don Dowd, your host for Mystery Time. See you tomorrow night.
This program came to you live from New York. This is the ABC Radio Network. I'm not big on trends. Never really have been. So, I can't be trusted when it comes to clothes shopping for others. I'm married to someone who does understand what looks good.
Quince.com asked me to endorse them on Weird Darkness, and at first I thought, eh, it's a bad idea, for reasons I've already laid out. But I let my bride check out their website, and, well, she immediately started shopping for Christmas, birthdays, Mother's Day, Just Because Day, apparently that's a real thing, and now she keeps going back to Quince.com. Their lightweight layers and high-quality staples have become a go-to place for everyday essentials now.
Quince has all the things you actually want to wear this summer, like organic cotton silk polos, European linen beach shorts, and comfortable pants that work for everything from backyard hangs to nice dinners. And the best part? Everything with Quince is half the cost of similar brands.
They work directly with top artisans, so they cut out the middlemen. And Quince gives you luxury pieces without the markups. And Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical, and responsible manufacturing practices and premium fabrics and finishes. I honestly didn't think I needed Quince.com, but Robin says, yeah, I do. Desperately. I think that means she'll be buying some clothes there for me, too.
She's tired of seeing 98% of my closet being weird darkness t-shirts. Go figure. She's also making me out to be the hero in front of my nieces. We got a cute little toddler-sized poplin-smocked flutter-sleeve dress for my youngest great-niece, complete with pink puppies for the pattern. It's adorable, I'll admit that. We got a pair of cotton-stretched skinny jeans coming from my newly-teenaged great-niece, along with a set of organic cotton long-sleeve and pants pajamas.
My oldest niece, the mom in the family, is getting a pair of ultra-soft high-rise pocket leggings. Emphasis on pocket. That's a pet peeve of my bride. She refuses to buy pants without pockets. And we're also sending a pair of ultra-form high-rise leggings. I would look horrible in all of this stuff, but the ladies in the family are going to look awesome. Of course, we'll be going back to quince.com in the next few days to begin shopping for the nephews.
I'm not allowed to pick out those clothes either. Robin just does not trust me. Good call. Stick to the staples that last with elevated essentials from Quince. Go to quince.com slash weirddarkness for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's quince, Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash weirddarkness to get free shipping and 365 day returns. quince.com slash weirddarkness
Okay, yeah, I gotta admit, this t-shirt is kind of fading. My guess is that you've heard a lot of people talking about Factor, the two-minute meals packed with nutrition. Up until recently, though, I didn't really care much about nutrition. I was into convenience. Burgers, pizza, you get the drift. But, well, the older you get, the more you realize nutrition is kind of important.
At the same time, convenience is still crucial for me. I am busier now than I've ever been in my life, so eating food fast without eating fast food is a bit of a challenge. Was a bit of a challenge. With Factor, I get to check both of those off my list. I just heat it up, and two minutes later, I'm sticking a fork in it.
Factor is more than convenient though. I don't even have to jump into my car to go through a drive-thru or pay a bunch of extra money so I can wait 30 minutes to an hour for a delivery app to come through for me. Factor meals arrive directly at my door, fresh and ready to eat. And with my new weight loss goals, the menu options are a real bonus. They have gourmet meals if I want to be calorie smart or pack on the protein, go keto and more. They have 45 weekly menu options.
How many weeks are there in a year? 52? Yeah, that's pretty dang close to a different menu for each week. I can use Factor for breakfast, quick lunches, premium dinners, even guilt-free snacks and desserts. Imagine that. Snacking without guilt. I didn't think that was possible. If you'd like to join me on this journey, you can visit factormeals.com slash darkness50off, then use the code darkness50off to get 50% off and free shipping in your first box.
That's factormeals.com slash darkness50off. Then use the code darkness50off to get 50% off and free shipping. Hey everyone, this is Carrie Champion, the host of Naked Sports. When you sit behind the wheel of the all-new 2025 Nissan Armada Pro 4X, you'll feel like the entire world is your playground. And you'd be right.
Because this unshakable fortress of a vehicle is built to take you on your next adventure. With the twin-turbo V6 engine, the all-new Armada is powerful enough to take you anywhere. With its 8,500 pounds of toying capacity, it will let you bring all your toys along. And with seating for eight, your whole crew can join you.
Nissan created a truly capable vehicle in the all-new Armada. In fact, it's the first Armada to earn the Pro 4X badge, which Nissan reserves for its most adventure-ready vehicles.
The Armada is a big SUV designed and built for big adventures and must be experienced to be appreciated. Drive the all-new 2025 Nissan Armada today. Learn more at NissanUSA.com. Intelligent four-wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. I'm not big on trends. Never really have been. So, I can't be trusted when it comes to clothes shopping for others.
I'm married to someone who does understand what looks good.
Quince.com asked me to endorse them on Weird Darkness, and at first I thought, eh, that's a bad idea, for reasons I've already laid out. But I let my bride check out their website, and, well, she immediately started shopping for Christmas, birthdays, Mother's Day, Just Because Day, apparently that's a real thing, and now she keeps going back to Quince.com. Their lightweight layers and high-quality staples have become a go-to place for everyday essentials now.
Quince has all the things you actually want to wear this summer, like organic cotton silk polos, European linen beach shorts, and comfortable pants that work for everything from backyard hangs to nice dinners. And the best part? Everything with Quince is half the cost of similar brands.
They work directly with top artisans, so they cut out the middlemen. And Quince gives you luxury pieces without the markups. And Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical, and responsible manufacturing practices and premium fabrics and finishes. I honestly didn't think I needed Quince.com, but Robin says, yeah, I do. Desperately. I think that means she'll be buying some clothes there for me, too.
She's tired of seeing 98% of my closet being weird darkness t-shirts. Go figure. She's also making me out to be the hero in front of my nieces. We got a cute little toddler-sized poplin-smocked flutter-sleeve dress for my youngest great-niece, complete with pink puppies for the pattern. It's adorable, I'll admit that. We got a pair of cotton-stretched skinny jeans coming from my newly-teenaged great-niece, along with a set of organic cotton long-sleeve and pants pajamas.
My oldest niece, the mom in the family, is getting a pair of ultra-soft high-rise pocket leggings. Emphasis on pocket. That's a pet peeve of my bride. She refuses to buy pants without pockets. And we're also sending a pair of ultra-form high-rise leggings. I would look horrible in all of this stuff, but the ladies in the family are going to look awesome. Of course, we'll be going back to quince.com in the next few days to begin shopping for the nephews.
I'm not allowed to pick out those clothes either. Robin just does not trust me. Good call. Stick to the staples that last with elevated essentials from Quince. Go to quince.com slash weirddarkness for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's quince, Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash weirddarkness to get free shipping and 365 day returns. quince.com slash weirddarkness
Okay, yeah, I gotta admit, this t-shirt is kind of fading. My guess is that you've heard a lot of people talking about Factor, the two-minute meals packed with nutrition. Up until recently, though, I didn't really care much about nutrition. I was into convenience. Burgers, pizza, you get the drift. But, well, the older you get, the more you realize nutrition is kind of important.
At the same time, convenience is still crucial for me. I am busier now than I've ever been in my life. So eating food fast without eating fast food is a bit of a challenge. Was a bit of a challenge. With Factor, I get to check both of those off my list. I just heat it up and two minutes later, I'm sticking a fork in it.
Factor is more than convenient though. I don't even have to jump into my car to go through a drive-thru or pay a bunch of extra money so I can wait 30 minutes to an hour for a delivery app to come through for me. Factor meals arrive directly at my door, fresh and ready to eat. And with my new weight loss goals, the menu options are a real bonus. They have gourmet meals if I want to be calorie smart or pack on the protein, go keto and more. They have 45 weekly menu options.
How many weeks are there in a year? 52? Yeah, that's pretty dang close to a different menu for each week. I can use Factor for breakfast, quick lunches, premium dinners, even guilt-free snacks and desserts. Imagine that. Snacking without guilt. I didn't think that was possible. If you'd like to join me on this journey, you can visit factormeals.com slash darkness50off, then use the code darkness50off to get 50% off and free shipping in your first box.
That's factormeals.com slash darkness50off. Then use the code darkness50off to get 50% off and free shipping. Hey, everyone. This is Keri Champion, the host of Naked Sports. When you sit behind the wheel of the all-new 2025 Nissan Armada Pro 4X, you'll feel like the entire world is your playground. And you'd be right.
because this unshakable fortress of a vehicle is built to take you on your next adventure. With the twin-turbo V6 engine, the all-new Armada is powerful enough to take you anywhere. With its 8,500 pounds of toying capacity, it will let you bring all your toys along. And with seating for eight, your whole crew can join you.
Nissan created a truly capable vehicle in the all-new Armada. In fact, it's the first Armada to earn the Pro 4X badge, which Nissan reserves for its most adventure-ready vehicles.
The Armada is a big SUV designed and built for big adventures and must be experienced to be appreciated. Drive the all-new 2025 Nissan Armada today. Learn more at NissanUSA.com. Intelligent four-wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. Strange Adventures!
Brett Davis looked solemnly at the tall mountains that hemmed in the little camp. Olly Crane, the other timber cutter, tried to cheer up his pal. Hey, snap out of it. We'll be finished clearing this tract in a couple of weeks. Then we go back to civilization. Ah, no. The loneliness of the place gets me. Nobody for miles around but the Roonies. And they're not too sociable. Say, don't forget Mike over there. He wouldn't like it if you said he wasn't sociable.
Don't forget old man Rooney gave him to us for company. Ollie pointed to a huge yellow cat asleep just inside the tent. Say, speaking of the Rooneys, he hasn't showed up for a few days. We better check up on him. We better ride over to his house and see what's wrong.
Later, Brett and Larry paid a visit to the Rooney cabin. It was a strange sight that met their eyes as they entered the squalid home. Tim Rooney lay sprawled upon the floor, motionless as death. His haggard wife knelt at his side, staring at him, speechless with fear. Brett helped her to her feet, while Ole lifted Rooney and carried him into the bedroom. A moment later, he returned. "He's alive, but he won't last long. Must be heart-troubled." Brett helped the woman to a chair, where she sat staring vacantly into space.
Oldie started toward the door. Rooney's buckboard is back of the house. I'll drive into town and see if I can find a doctor. Brett, you stay here and watch after Mrs. Rooney.
The afternoon faded into darkness and Brett settled down for the long night's vigil. A kerosene lamp tried vainly to light the almost bare room. Rooney's wife huddled in her chair, seemingly asleep. Suddenly, from out of the surrounding shadows came the sound of purring. Brett thought of the yellow cat and wondered if it was in the cabin. He carried the lamp into the bedroom where Rooney lay, but still could find no trace of the cat. He searched the cabin, but in vain.
It seemed only a moment later when he heard a slow, ominous growling. He went outside, calling softly, but there was still no cat to be found. Dawn was breaking when Brett heard the returning buckboard and dashed outside to welcome Larry and the doctor. The three men rushed into the cabin. The bedroom door was open, and from inside came a loud purring sound. When the men entered the room, they came upon a fearful sight.
Crouched beside the bed, Mrs. Rooney glared at her husband as he huddled against the wall in stark staring fear. And as she crouched, the woman purred like a huge cat. The purring changed into a savage growl. Then, with clutching bony hands, she sprang straight at Rooney's throat.
The men grabbed at the mad woman. At last, she was subdued and fell into a frightened sobbing. Her husband helped to soothe her, speaking to her softly. He then turned to the doctor and the young men. Gentlemen, I suffer from catalepsy. That is why you thought I was dead. I love my wife in spite of the fact that she's been insane for 15 years, gentlemen. Insane ever since she was scared and bitten by a yellow cat.
This is Pat McGeehan in Hollywood, California, saying goodbye from my writer, Charles Crowder, and inviting you to tune in again to another tale of Strange Adventures. Appointment with Fear. This is your storyteller, the man in black. Here again to bring you another story in our series, Appointment with Fear.
Edgar Allan Poe's story, The Pit and the Pendulum. Adapted for broadcasting by John Dixon Carr.
Captain Jean Delbray. Good fathers, gentlemen. We hear you, my son. I have been confined for many months in a dungeon. I have been tormented by nightmares. Of conscience one trusts. Pray silence, Friar Antonio. Even now I have no knowledge of where I am or to whom I may be speaking. You are speaking to me, my son.
I am Fra Pedro de Spilat, prior of the Dominicans of Segovia and Grand Inquisitor for all space. Is this the court of the Inquisition? It is. Then God help me. He will help you, my son, if you trust him. But I am a French officer. That is true. A soldier and creature of the archfiend Napoleon Bonaparte. But a French officer, nonetheless.
A prisoner of war. By what right do you try me in this court? Let the clerk read the charges against this prisoner. Pray silence while the clerk reads the charges. The charges against the prisoner are as follows. Imprimis that he is one Jean d'Albray, a captain of artillery in the army of Bonaparte, so-called Emperor of the French. This means nothing. As the prisoner says, it is no crime. Proceed.
I tem that on the fourth day of September in the year of our Lord, 1808, the said Jean d'Albray did wed, espouse, and marry that most noble lady, the Donna Beatrice Valdez, niece and ward of the illustrious... One moment. Your Excellency spoke. Rai Antonio, was any cheat employed to trap this girl into marriage against her will? No. No?
We have no actual evidence of any cheat. Was the girl obeyed? I believe so. Then wherefore is the prisoner here? This marriage was a deplorable thing, if you like.
Bonaparte himself is almost at the gates of Madrid. His general La Salle menaces our city of Toledo itself. But lawful marriage, however regrettable, is no sin or crime. There are other matters in the indictment, I think. Then continue.
But give us nothing that is not material. Item that on the 12th of October, 1808, the said Jean d'Albray, being in command of a five-gun battery of light artillery, did direct the fire of his guns against the Holy Church of St. Martha the Innocent. And thereby, of his wicked malice, destroyed the church utterly.
Captain Dalbray, is this charge true? Yes, you admit it. Good father, hear what I have to say.
The church blew up, I think. Would you boast of your sin, young man? It blew up because it was stored with kegs of gunpowder for your army. I had every right to fire on it. And that is all the defense you have to make. I tell you I had every right to fire on it. By military law. Is military law above God's law? I don't know. I did my duty. Long live the emperor. Captain Dalbray, hear the sentence of this court.
Had your offense been any except this, the Holy Office would have been merciful. Mark what I say. No man, however great his heresy, is ever condemned to be burnt in the fire. The fire. The fire. The fire. If he first recant and acknowledge the error of his ways.
But for you, Jean Delbray, there can be no mercy, no pity, no atonement. The only sentence of this court can be... Death. Death. Death. The secular or government arm to which we must release you has devised two ways of punishment in cases such as yours. You hear the tolling of bells? I hear them. It is the procession of the condemned.
going to the Porte de la Fée. Soon the yellow light of the flames will stream through the windows and flicker on floor and ceiling. Most of those condemned out of mercy will be strangled before they are burned.
It cannot be so with you, Jean Delbray. You must die in one of two ways. Either with a direst physical agony... A slow fire of green wood...
iced bandages about the head and heart so that the fire does not approach too quickly. Be silent, Fra Antonio. I cry your pardon, Grand Inquisitor. Or else, Jean d'Albray, you must die in a certain other way. Have done with this. Pass your sentence and let me go. The law does not permit me to tell you now what this other way is.
It must approach you slowly and force itself into your mind. It must stalk you like a tiger. It must bring you face to face at last with the king of terrors. The sentence of this court therefore... I had swooned. Yet still I will not say that all of consciousness was lost.
In the deepest slumber, no. In delirium, no. In a swoon, no. In death, no. Even in the grave all is not lost.
There are shadows of memory which tell me indistinctly of tall figures that lifted me and bore me in silence, down, down, still down, until a hideous dizziness oppressed me at that descent into the earth. There was a vague horror at my heart because of that heart's unnatural stillness. Then this consciousness swam back to my wits again. Darkness. Stone floor. Darkness. Beatrice. Beatrice.
Oh, my wife. Did you call me, Jean? Beatrice, was that you who spoke? Yes, Jean. You, here, in the dungeons of the Inquisition? I am not really speaking to you, my poor Jean. I am only in your imagination. Am I mad, then? No, but your brain is fevered. You only think you hear me. I hear you clearly.
As clearly as I once heard you. In the little church near the Ebro, where we were married. Yes. I destroyed that church, Beatrice. I had to. It was my commanding officer's order. I know, Lord. Be comforted. There are those who care. It is completely dark. There's hardly any air. I dread to get up. And I dread to stretch out my hand. Suppose they have buried me alive. Courage. Can you...
Stand up? I think so. Then walk. Walk as far as you can. Measure the limit of the cell. If this is not a tomb... You're right, Beatrice. As always, I'll try. Are you on your feet? Yes. Now pray for a poor devil who always meant well. One pace. Two, three, four. You are very weak, Jean. Rest a moment. Where are you now, Beatrice?
In the flesh, I mean. You know that, Jean. In the old house by the olive grove. Scorned of my people. Yes, I know it. Each morning I climb to the hilltop and watch. Go on. Sometimes I think I hear gun wheels rumble in the hills and long moving columns with the red dust rising about them.
Go on. First come the heavy cavalry in plume-crested helmets, on their flanks wheeling like hawks, light hussars in blue and scarlet, and behind them in a glitter of bayonets as vast as light points in sea. Rank upon rank, the long gray coats and tall bearskin caps of... The old guard and the grand army! It is only a vision, my dear one.
They do not come. Will they ever come, Beatrice? I cannot tell. Then I must face what has been prepared for me. Beatrice. Yes, John? I tried to walk. I took some steps. Four steps, yes. But in which direction? I can't remember. Are you facing in the same way? I don't know, perhaps. Then walk again. Try.
Keep your hand in front of you. This robe impedes me. And the floor is treacherous with slime. But I try. Four paces. Five. Six. Seven. It can't be a tomb. Eight. Nine. Look out! I'm all right. I fell on my face. The robe tripped me. What is it? My hand is in front of me. Lower than my face. But I feel nothing. Nothing.
Nothing, Jean? It's a pit. A circular pit. And I fell on the very edge of it. They would have made you walk into it. Yes. There's a loose fragment of rock just inside the edge. If only I could dislodge it. Listen. Water. There's something down there. Rats, it may be. Rats, yes, but something else.
I heard it move. So did I. Accident saved me. They would have had me plunged there symbolically like the descent of the soul to keep company with something else. And quick death forms no part of their plan. What is in the pit, John? I can't say. Did you say I was saved, Beatrice? Saved from the Inquisition? My torture has been merely postponed. No!
A deep sleep fell upon me. A sleep like that of death. How long it lasted, I know not. But when I opened my eyes once again, I could see. Yes, see. My prison was large and lofty. Its walls formed of massive iron plates bolted or joined together. A wild, sulfurous luster. I could not trace its origin. Lit up the dungeon and the circular pit.
And the crudely daubed skeleton figures painted in evil colors on the iron walls. Skeleton figures, demon fillers, gargoyle figures. Their colors a little blurred as from the effects of the damp. And I... I now lay on my back at full length on a low framework of wood.
to this framework i was securely bound by a long fastening resembling a surgical bandage bound but why why why why look where at the ceiling of the room 30 40 feet up what do you see i see painted on the ceiling a figure of father time anything else
But Father Time carried no size. He carried instead what looks like a gigantic pendulum from an ancient clock. About one thing I swear I am in my right senses. I saw that pendulum move. A painting cannot move. Yet I swear a pendulum did. It swung a little back and forth.
Just like a real pendulum. Try not to trouble your brain. Father, time is not like those other paintings daubed on the walls. The imps and devils and skeletons. That pendulum is real. Beatrice, take care. Take care of what? You are not looking at the pendulum now. Take care of the rat.
The rats on the pitch! I see them. They're swarming out in dozens. You can see their eyes glitter. One of them ran across the hem of your dress. Did it, Jock? What do they want? They'll cause the scent of the mint in the dish to tie you. But they'll not get it. Crap, you vermin! Move your hand above the plate, Jock. Move. Beatrice, where are you going? I can hardly hear you. You are sending me away. Sending you away? My poor loved one. You can't bear to see the rats running about my feet, can you?
Even when you know I'm not here. Beatrice! It is true, George. Yes, it's true. In a cell swarming with vermin, there are others I'd rather see here. I'd rather see...
If you call me Captain Dalbray, then in spirit I am here. Who are you? Don't you recognize me? No. I am that second Inquisitor, Fra Antoni, whom you thought unfair at your trial. But we were not unfair.
We administer the law. That is all. Go. I command you. Go. Not until I have first told you what you already guessed. Which is? As the Grand Inquisitor said, there are two forms of death for such as you.
One, death with its direst physical torture. The other, death with its direst mental torture. And I have been condemned to the second? Your guess is good. Listen. Do you hear anything? Yes, I hear something. Turn your eyes upwards. Look at the ceiling. The pendulum. Aye, the pendulum. It has...
Descended? Only a foot or so as yet. As you notice, it is not really a pendulum. No? No. Its underside is a crescent formed of sharp, of razor-sharp steel. You mean... A ponderous weight, Captain Delbray. Its movement is slow now, but soon it will take on momentum. It will swing...
Wider and wider. Thirty feet, perhaps. Presently, as it swings, you will hear it hiss. And with each broad movement, it will creep a trifle lower. The steel is directly above me. Yes, above the region of your heart. Lie still and look up at it.
How long before? You need have no immediate fear. It will not be too soon. But how soon? Who can tell? In the name of pity, give me some answer. Hours? Perhaps days? Its motion can be arrested while you sleep. It's beginning to swing wider. I can't take my eyes from it. Its glitter fascinates you.
See how it shines in that wild light. And this is your utmost refinement and cruelty? The law, Captain Talpry, is never cruel. And now, still in spirit, I leave you to your meditation. Minutes, days. Down, steadily down it crept.
Days passed. It might have been many days before it swept so closely as to fan me with its acrid breath. The odor of the sharp steel forced itself into my nostrils. To the right, to the left, far and wide. With the shriek of a damned spirit, to my heart. With the stealthy pace of a tiger, down.
Certainly, relentlessly down. I prayed. I wearied heaven with my prayer for its more speedy descent. I grew frantically mad and struggled to force myself up against that swinging, glittering death of no avail. Down, still unceasingly, still inevitably down. The sharp steel flashed past within three inches of my chest. And then, only then... I heard you calling, Jean.
I am here. It is a strange thing, Beatrice. I am quite calm. Do I resign, then? No. That is a strange thing, too. Even now I am not resigned. Is there no way out? How can there be ten, twelve more vibrations and it will fray the surge of my robe? Only lightly, as a razor in a delicate hand. There will be many sweeps before it bites deep.
I can't escape it. And yet... And yet? Ah, if I could only use my wits. You kept me away from you, Jean. You locked me out of your thoughts. If I am here only in your thoughts, why should I fear the rats? The rats? Open your eyes and your eyes blaze. What is it? The rats!
Do they still swarm here? Across the floor and over the meat platter. They have taken nearly all your food. Yes, yes, they are ravenous, and they have sharp teeth. Well? The meat is oiled and spiced. If I take what remains of it, scatter you vermin, and rub that meat on the bandages that hold me here. Try it, John, try it. It may be too late. If I move my body a fraction of an inch up. Try it, I tell you, try it. Look, they scatter as soon as I do try. But they are watching you. I can see their eyes glitter. They're
They are creeping back. Can I stand those rats crawling across me? Can the flesh bear it? One of them has leaped on the wooden framework. Another follows. They are gnawing at the bandit. Seven. Eight.
Eight more sweeps of the pendulum. Does the bandage give way? A little. Slight still, slight still. Ten. A dozen raps now. Is death, I wonder, worse than this disgust? A dozen sharp knives could do no better. The bandage has loosened the ribbons.
It can move sideways carefully and drop to the floor. Beatrice, I can't move. My arms and legs are numb. There is no power. You have stayed your role for minutes more. We'll be too late. Try. Then, with all the strength that is in me and the hatred I bear my enemies... Freeze! A second time free. Dijon, the pendulum stopped.
They're drawing it back up through the roof. Each move I make is watched. You never doubted that? No. Yet with all they could do to you, they have failed twice. They will not fail a third time, my dear. There must be no more dallying with the king of terror. What else can they do? I can't say. See how the rats gnaw in silence at the bandage. To what food, I wonder, have they been accustomed in the pit?
To escape the pit? I escaped it once. Listen. What do you hear? A groaning. A grinding as of metal. It was only the cogwheels of the pendulum knife. I think not, Beatrice. Why not? It seemed to come from behind these iron-plated walls.
It seemed to shake the dungeon as a mill wheel might shake it. Stand up, my poor Jean. Get up off your knees. I can't, Beatrice. I can't endure anymore. The paintings on the walls of this dungeon. The skeletons and imps and devils. They seem different. They are different.
The colors sharpen and grow bright. The demon eyes glare. The skeleton hands outstretch. Don't you catch even yet the odor of heated iron? Heated iron? I am being much humbled.
But I won't have you see me in tears. I order you to go. Join the name of heaven. Yes, in the name of heaven, go.
A suffocating heat pervaded the prison. A deeper glow settled in the painted eyes that glared at me. I could draw no breath of air into my lungs against the loom of that fiery destruction. The thought of the pit and its coolness came like balm. I staggered to the edge of the pit. I looked into it. The enkindled walls and roof lighted to its depths. Yet for one wild moment, even then...
I refuse to believe the meaning of what I saw. Does the pit please you, Captain Dalbray? You again? Do you find its contents pleasing? Not the pit. Merciful God, anything but the pit. Then how shall you avoid it? Look.
The dungeon has changed its shape. That is true. The walls are closing in. It was formerly a square, and now it is flattening slowly towards the center to force me into the pit. Of course. It will force you along with me. Again, apparently, you must be told, Captain Delbray, that you are speaking only to your own frequency. I am not here at all.
Farewell. And now, flatter and flatter through the red burning walls, with a swiftness that left me no time for thought, I shrank back, with the closing walls pressed me resistlessly onward. At length, from my seared and writhing body, there was no longer any inch of foothold. I tottered on the edge of the pit. Ah!
There was a discordant hum of human voices. There was a loud blast of many trumpets. The fiery walls rushed back. An outstretched arm caught my own as I fell fainting into the abyss.
It was that of General La Salle. The French army had entered Toledo. The Inquisition was in the hands of its enemies. My guess is that you've heard a lot of people talking about Factor, the two-minute meals packed with nutrition.
Up until recently, though, I didn't really care much about nutrition. I was into convenience — burgers, pizza, you get the drift. But the older you get, the more you realize nutrition is kind of important. At the same time, convenience is still crucial for me. I am busier now than I've ever been in my life. So eating food fast without eating fast food is a bit of a challenge. Was a bit of a challenge.
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She's tired of seeing 98% of my closet being weird darkness t-shirts. Go figure. She's also making me out to be the hero in front of my nieces. We got a cute little toddler-sized poplin-smocked flutter-sleeve dress for my youngest great-niece, complete with pink puppies for the pattern. It's adorable, I'll admit that. We got a pair of cotton-stretched skinny jeans coming from my newly-teenaged great-niece, along with a set of organic cotton long-sleeve and pants pajamas.
My oldest niece, the mom in the family, is getting a pair of ultra-soft high-rise pocket leggings. Emphasis on pocket. That's a pet peeve of my bride. She refuses to buy pants without pockets. And we're also sending a pair of ultra-form high-rise leggings. I would look horrible in all of this stuff, but the ladies in the family are going to look awesome. Of course, we'll be going back to quince.com in the next few days to begin shopping for the nephews.
I'm not allowed to pick out those clothes either. Robin just does not trust me. Good call. Stick to the staples that last with elevated essentials from Quince. Go to quince.com slash weirddarkness for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's quince, Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash weirddarkness to get free shipping and 365 day returns. quince.com slash weirddarkness
Okay, yeah, I got to admit, this t-shirt is kind of fading. Hey everyone, this is Keri Champion, the host of Naked Sports. When you sit behind the wheel of the all-new 2025 Nissan Armada Pro 4X, you'll feel like the entire world is your playground, and you'd be right.
because this unshakable fortress of a vehicle is built to take you on your next adventure. With the twin-turbo V6 engine, the all-new Armada is powerful enough to take you anywhere. With its 8,500 pounds of toying capacity, it will let you bring all your toys along. And with seating for eight, your whole crew can join you.
Nissan created a truly capable vehicle in the all-new Armada. In fact, it's the first Armada to earn the Pro 4X badge, which Nissan reserves for its most adventure-ready vehicles.
The Armada is a big SUV designed and built for big adventures and must be experienced to be appreciated. Drive the all-new 2025 Nissan Armada today. Learn more at NissanUSA.com. Intelligent four-wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. My guess is that you've heard a lot of people talking about Factor, the two-minute meals packed with nutrition.
Up until recently, though, I didn't really care much about nutrition. I was into convenience — burgers, pizza, you get the drift. But the older you get, the more you realize nutrition is kind of important. At the same time, convenience is still crucial for me. I am busier now than I've ever been in my life. So eating food fast without eating fast food is a bit of a challenge. Was a bit of a challenge.
With Factor, I get to check both of those off my list. I just heat it up, and two minutes later, I'm sticking a fork in it.
Factor is more than convenient though. I don't even have to jump into my car to go through a drive-thru or pay a bunch of extra money so I can wait 30 minutes to an hour for a delivery app to come through for me. Factor meals arrive directly at my door, fresh and ready to eat. And with my new weight loss goals, the menu options are a real bonus. They have gourmet meals if I want to be calorie smart or pack on the protein, go keto and more. They have 45 weekly menu options.
How many weeks are there in a year? 52? Yeah, that's pretty dang close to a different menu for each week. I can use Factor for breakfast, quick lunches, premium dinners, even guilt-free snacks and desserts. Imagine that. Snacking without guilt. I didn't think that was possible. If you'd like to join me on this journey, you can visit factormeals.com slash darkness50off, then use the code darkness50off to get 50% off and free shipping in your first box.
That's factormeals.com slash darkness50off, then use the code darkness50off to get 50% off and free shipping. I'm not big on trends, never really have been, so I can't be trusted when it comes to clothes shopping for others. I'm married to someone who does understand what looks good.
Quince.com asked me to endorse them on Weird Darkness, and at first I thought, eh, that's a bad idea, for reasons I've already laid out. But I let my bride check out their website, and, well, she immediately started shopping for Christmas, birthdays, Mother's Day, Just Because Day, apparently that's a real thing, and now she keeps going back to Quince.com. Their lightweight layers and high-quality staples have become a go-to place for everyday essentials now.
Quince has all the things you actually want to wear this summer, like organic cotton silk polos, European linen beach shorts, and comfortable pants that work for everything from backyard hangs to nice dinners. And the best part? Everything with Quince is half the cost of similar brands.
They work directly with top artisans, so they cut out the middlemen. And Quince gives you luxury pieces without the markups. And Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical, and responsible manufacturing practices and premium fabrics and finishes. I honestly didn't think I needed Quince.com, but Robin says, yeah, I do. Desperately. I think that means she'll be buying some clothes there for me, too.
She's tired of seeing 98% of my closet being weird darkness t-shirts. Go figure. She's also making me out to be the hero in front of my nieces. We got a cute little toddler-sized poplin-smocked flutter-sleeve dress for my youngest great-niece, complete with pink puppies for the pattern. It's adorable, I'll admit that. We got a pair of cotton-stretched skinny jeans coming from my newly-teenaged great-niece, along with a set of organic cotton long-sleeve and pants pajamas.
My oldest niece, the mom in the family, is getting a pair of ultra-soft high-rise pocket leggings. Emphasis on pocket. That's a pet peeve of my bride. She refuses to buy pants without pockets. And we're also sending a pair of ultra-form high-rise leggings. I would look horrible in all of this stuff, but the ladies in the family are going to look awesome. Of course, we'll be going back to quince.com in the next few days to begin shopping for the nephews.
I'm not allowed to pick out those clothes either. Robin just does not trust me. Good call. Stick to the staples that last with elevated essentials from Quince. Go to quince.com slash weirddarkness for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's quince, Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash weirddarkness to get free shipping and 365 day returns. quince.com slash weirddarkness
Okay, yeah, I got to admit, this t-shirt is kind of fading. Hey everyone, this is Keri Champion, the host of Naked Sports. When you sit behind the wheel of the all-new 2025 Nissan Armada Pro 4X, you'll feel like the entire world is your playground, and you'd be right.
Because this unshakable fortress of a vehicle is built to take you on your next adventure. With the twin-turbo V6 engine, the all-new Armada is powerful enough to take you anywhere. With its 8,500 pounds of toying capacity, it will let you bring all your toys along. And with seating for eight, your whole crew can join you. Nissan created a truly capable vehicle in the all-new Armada. In fact, it's the first Armada to earn the Pro 4X badge, which Nissan reserves for its most adventure-ready vehicles.
Jonas.
A play for radio by J.C.W. Brooke. With Prunella Scales, John Rye, Anna Cropper, Julian Holloway, and David March. Jonas. Thanks, and the rest of mine. Get a rough and discard on that, darling. Thanks, Pat. All the remaining trumps, make the ace king of spades and rough up. Four hearts, bid and make. Well done, darling gay man. Rubber.
If you don't need that diamond, he must lose a spade. I know that now, darling, but I didn't then. Well, you could have worked it out. You knew I hadn't a doubleton because I didn't peter. I make that the round thousand. I must have had three. With a three in dummy, the five in your hand, you can't have had more than two. I thought you might be short and could overcharm him. How many times have I told you I always peter with a doubleton? I'm sorry, darling. I forgive you.
What's the damage? 30p, that's right Who wants some more coffee, darling? Please Hugo? Thanks Pat? Please, do you want a hand? Oh no, it's okay, it won't take a minute, it's already percolated It shouldn't take long You stay here Oh, good rubber For you, yeah You had a couple of game calls And each time you opened that suit, that destroyed our tempo And you were holding all the trumps when we were in full spades That's luck There's no such thing as luck It's all chance Same thing? Not at all
If you took all the hands I've ever held, I wouldn't mind betting they'd even out at a flat ten points each for the square distribution. Same for you, same for Pat, and same for Julie. Even though she's got the reputation of being a lucky player. Have I? Yes. Well, you always seem to get the cards when it matters. Now, that's my psychic power.
I sometimes know that things will work. I knew, for instance, that we'd make four hearts on the last hand. Not against best defence. It looked right. It felt right. And, boy, golly, it was right. Only against bad defence. Hugo, I've said I'm sorry. Well, I believe in luck. Personally, for straightforward rubber bridge, I'd prefer to partner a lucky player, a lucky bad player, than an unlucky good one. Any fool can make a cast-iron contract, but only lucky fools keeps picking them up. Well, I don't believe in luck.
I don't believe any of those fancy things that go bump in the night. Ghouls, poltergeists, ghosts, luck, God. Careful, Hugo. Your atheistic streak is showing again. Well, sure you don't believe in God, Max. Max will believe in anything to get an argument going, won't you, darling? I must admit that I can usually see both sides of a question. You know, we used to call him... What was it? Max the...
What was it, darling? Sorry? What was it we used to call Max at school because he'd always argue on both sides at once? Max the trimmer. What's his name who taught us history? Fogel. Oh, yes, him. He called Max the trimmer. That's right. After the Earl of Shaftesbury, I think, during the Wars of the Roses. Or was it the Civil War? Anyway, he always came down on the weaker side to trim things up again. Max used to do that during debates. So I did.
What a good memory you've got. It must be all of 14 years. God, that makes me feel old. I'm sorry, Julie. It must be very boring for you. What, hearing about Max's past? She wouldn't talk about me as if I wasn't here. It's the only way to keep you out of a conversation. Thank you.
Darling, hadn't we better start thinking about... Oh, no, no, you're not going yet. I've just put the coffee on. We've plenty of time for another rubber. I told Sally we'd be late. Yes, I know, but... Don't you want to go on playing, Pat? Well... Oh, come on, darling. We must get our own back. Well, I'd rather not. I mean... Are you all right, now? Yeah, I'm fine. I just don't want to play bridge for a while, thanks. Well, one more rubber at least. I'd much rather not. That coffee really, darling? Of course. I'll get it. I picked up an interesting bit of junk the other day. Oh? I'll show it to you. Yeah.
Careful. Where are you off to? To get the, you know, what I picked up yesterday. Oh, that.
He's never happier than when he's poking about in some dusty old junk shop. Don't we know it? What is it this time? One of those things you know with letters round the outside. It tells your fortune or something. Oh, an Ouija board. That's right. You put a glass in the middle to track the spirit and it moves about to spell out messages. You have to put your fingers on top there. It's a load of old rubbish. He spent most of yesterday polishing it up. He's thinking of hanging it on that wall over there. It's about the only thing you can do with it. Help yourself a cream of sugar. Thanks. Here we are.
There. What do you think? Victorian? Hmm. You're the expert. Have you looked it up? Well, I've tried to, but there's nothing remotely like it in any of the books. They all say it was an Edwardian craze, but this looks much older. It's really beautiful. Was there a class with it? For trapping the spirit? No. It's interesting woods it's made of. What's this?
Oak? Mahogany, I think. And the other letters are ebony, I'm almost sure. The base seems to be sandalwood. What's that stain there? Do you expect? I don't know. It's sunk deep, though, under the polish. This round the edge, it's not familiar. It should be upas. What? I mean, to hold the spirit, it should be upas. It's poisonous.
At college, we used to talk about things like this. We'd made one with letters on bits of paper, you know. One of the girls got quite interested, read books about it. That's how I know it should be you passed to be a proper one. OK, I'll certainly find out. I was thinking of hanging it on the wall over there. Sort of conversation piece. We could tell people that at the dead of night we receive messages from above. Well, it's better than wife-swapping. Speak for yourself. Thank you. Any time.
Why don't you suggest we use it? What? Oh, come on, darling. You know you've been dying to see if anything would happen. He's been just like a kid with a new toy. Is it that obvious? Well, anyway, how about it? Shall we give it a go? Oh, you're joking. Well, you never know. It might be fun. What about you, Pat? No, she's tired. She doesn't want to. No, I don't mind. But nothing ever happened at college. Ah, now, that's because you didn't have the right gear. But with this board, who knows?
Come on, Hugo. Say you'll give it half an hour just to see what happens. I'd much rather have another rubber. You can record, darling. Write down what it says. You don't want to bother with this, do you, Judy? I'll get no peace if we don't. Ever since yesterday, he's been dying to see if it works. Too right I have. Well, you never know. It might give us the winner of the National or something. Well, things like this intrigue me. I suppose it's the old fascination of having a chance of a glimpse into the future. Anyway, let's take a vote and abide by the majority. Oh.
All those in favour of giving my Ouija board a go, lift your hands. Yes, let's have a go. And all those against can record. Now, Hugo. Oh, it's a waste of time. Well, we'll give it half an hour, and then if it doesn't work, we'll go back to bridge, OK? Darling, get a wine glass or something, will you? Anything yet? Nothing that makes sense. And there won't be. We're wasting time. Five minutes more. Try asking it something. That might get it going. It's going. It's just not making any sense. I'm going to see what happens...
It's not stupid. I feel embarrassed at addressing the empty air. Pretend you're on television. Oh, very funny. Is anyone there? It's moving more positively. What does it say? I-A-M. I am. Oh, someone's mucking about. Not me. Not me. Ask something quick before it goes. Well, why ask it? I don't know. It's nothing. You ask something, Pat. Don't be stupid. We've waited half an hour. The least we can do is ask it something. Go on, Pat. Who are you?
M-E... Obvious when you think about it. In more ways than one. Hugo, quiet. What is your name? J-O... Oh, look, this is too much. Someone's mucking about. Darling, please. Put your finger back, Hugo. What, so you can go on making your joke? Not bloody likely. Please. Oh, all right. I'll let him have his fun. There. Go on, Pat. Ask it again.
What is your name? It's gone dead. It's more like Max has run out of ideas. Let's play bridge. I've not done anything. It's moving again. Invention coming back, is it, Max? It's not me. Quiet. Have you anything to tell us? My name is Max. I'm making a joke. O-N-D-O-F... Write it down, Max. U-W-I-L-D...
I-E-T-H-I-S-W-E-K... It's gone dead. What did it say? Did it say something? You see, the trouble is there's no indication when one word stops and the next begins. On E-F-W... No, that's not right. Yeah, let me see. Here you are. Switch on the light, darling. Of course.
The coffee's got cold. Anyone want another cup? Have you worked it out, darling? Yes. I've worked it out. If you ask me, it's in bloody bad taste, Max. I did nothing. What did it say? I know damn well. What does it say? It'll upset Pat. It's the sort of thing that darling says. Come on, I did nothing. What does it say? Max, darling, what is it? Just a joking bad taste. Nothing more. Well, tell us. Nothing, nothing. Please. All right.
No, I think Max should own up it was all a joke. Not a particularly funny one, either. I own up to nothing. What does it say? Well, look for yourself, as if you didn't know. One of you? Yes, you. The letter U, meaning Y-O-U. Ah, a spirit that knows shorthand. I wonder if his name's Pitman. Oh, come on, darling. Read out the rest. One of you will... Bad spelling. One of you will...
No, you're right. It isn't bad taste. But I didn't do it. Well, who else could it have been? Oh, for God's sake, what does it say? Here, see for yourself. One of you will die this week. Oh, no. Look, it's all right, darling. It was only a joke. A joke? Who...
We'd play a joke like that. Darling, it's all right. Look, oh, no, Max, for God's sake. I think you should apologise, darling. I think you should apologise for playing such a stupid joke. Oh. All right, I can see it backfired. I'm sorry, Pat, it just seemed funny at the time. Yes, well, you might have known it upset him. I just didn't think, that's all. Well, you were all sitting around waiting for something to happen and my Ouija board didn't seem to be helping, so I thought, why not?
You just shove here and there and bingo, a message. I just said the very first thing that came into my head. Look, I'm very sorry if it upset you, Pat. It's all right. Very sorry. But I was so annoyed at Hugo scoffing at my nice Ouija board, so I thought I'd show him. There, darling, you see? It's just the stupid thing he would do. Are you all right now? Yes, thank you. It was a bit of a shock, that sort of bit of a shock. Of course. It really was you fooling, wasn't it, Max? Yes, it really was me fooling, and I'm very sorry. Yeah, and so you should be. Anyway, the half hour's up, nothing happened.
So, what about another rubber? Bye. Bye. I'll call you tomorrow, Pat. Thanks for the evening. Yes, thanks for the evening. Bye. Bye-bye. And thank you, darling. Me? For one little white lie. Oh, yes. With you looking such daggers at me, what else could I do? Come on, let's go back in. I'm cold. Nightcap? Thanks. Just a small one. I wasn't really looking daggers at you, darling. At the time, I half thought it might have been you.
It was only after I'd had a chance to think I realised your taste isn't quite as bad as that. Thanks. Well, I must admit, I was toying with the idea of making it ask, which one of you has been eating garland? My name is Dracula, and I like it. But it started moving before I got out of the way. Here. Thanks. What do you think caused it, darling? Well, I've been thinking about that. It seems to me there's three possible answers. First, it was one of us fooling a bat.
Not likely. It wasn't you. I didn't. I don't think Hugo has the imagination. Don't underestimate him, darling. You think it might have been him? No. He's too fond of Pat. But he's not such a plodder of a thinker as you might suggest. All right, so it wasn't him for whatever reason. It couldn't have been Pat. Why do you say that? You saw her. She was the only one of us getting really involved. I don't think it would have occurred to her to... Cheat? Exactly.
She would have thought it would have been dishonest. All right. So it wasn't Pat, Hugo, you or me, which disposes of my first explanation. Secondly, it could have been random. On the principle of the million monkeys and the works of Shakespeare? Well, given time. No, I don't think so. No, it answered the questions. It was too neat. And it was trying to spell a name when Hugo took his hand off the glass. J-O. John, I suppose. Well, it's common enough. Anyway, if it wasn't random...
That brings us to my third reason. Don't tell me I know. It's what all this has been leading up to. Why we're both worried. Your third reason is that it was genuine, that we trapped a spirit. And that the spirit warned us that one of us only has a week to live. We'll die this week. Might mean tomorrow. Lucky it's Sunday. Gives us a few days' break. Don't joke about it, darling. Well, how else are we going to look at it? We'll never know. Even if one of us does pop off, we'll never know if it was anything more than a coincidence. Unless, of course... What? Well, there could be another reason.
One much more in keeping with modern thought. Go on. As you know, I'm no psychiatrist. But suppose one of us was guiding that glass subconsciously. Spelling out a message, a wish even. A wish? Why not? Let's stretch our minds a little. Let's suppose one of us wants to murder. What? Hear me out. It's only pure hypothesis after all. Suppose I was having an affair with Angela. Your secretary? She's an attractive girl.
In fact, I really quite fancy her, as I think I've mentioned before. Several times. Jealous is showing, darling. Anyway, supposing this affair was more than just an affair. It was a lifelong passion. I want, more than anything else in the world, to live with her. What? Leave me? Oh, no, no, no. No, I'd need to get rid of you, of course. So I plan to murder you next weekend. Oh, thanks very much. But at the same time...
A residue of guilt remains in my mind. Well, that is a bit of a mean way to say thanks for seven years of reasonably happy marriage. Reasonably happy? Perfectly happy. I'm not arguing. The point being that I think it's a pity to bump you off, so I give you a warning, subconsciously, anonymously. I tell you to watch out, but in such a manner that it's unlikely you'll believe it. And even if you did, you wouldn't know it was from me.
That way I assuage my guilt somewhat, and at the same time you won't be on the lookout for the untraceable poison I'm going to shove in your coffee. Charming. But it's started to spell out a name. J-O, not M-A. Have you forgotten, Inspector, that my full name is Jonathan Maxwell Brown? No. Now, given the basic premise, darling, even what I'm saying now fits in. I tell you the truth, assuaging my guilt still further, but wrap it up in such a manner that you're not going to believe a word I've been saying. Oh.
You're not, are you? What? Oh, it's stupid, you and your hypothesis. Oh, shouldn't it be hypothesized? I wish you'd never bought that board.
We should have taken Hugo's advice and had another rubber. You believe we trapped a ghost? I don't know what to believe. Nor do I. But it's getting through to you, isn't it? What is? That it might all be genuine. That one of us, for some reason or other, is due to die this week. Don't! Well, there's plenty of ways of dying. Car crash, train smash, falling off a bridge. Don't! Even if we locked ourselves indoors, the house might burn down. Darling, please. All right. I'll stop stating the obvious. But your safe, cosy little world has been threatened and you don't like it. Who would? Well, who would indeed?
Life is very precarious, darling. Sometimes you realise it and it's a bit of a shock. Yes, it is. And I'll tell you who else realises it as well. Pat? Yeah. She's sensitive. She'd be upset. Unless she's fully swallowed my little white lie, which I think improbable. There's all that business about her brother. Oh? I didn't know she had a brother. No, she hasn't. Not now. It's a thing we all try to forget. I had, or I don't think I would have suggested that we use the Ouija board. That happened during the summer after A-levels.
There was a group of us who used to go about together. Myself, Pat, Hugo, a couple of girls, and John, Pat's brother. John was different. He wanted to be a poet. Well, he certainly looked the part. Pale, fragile, intense, shy, you know. He sort of tailed along after us, and we put up with him because he was Pat's brother. Anyway, he died, was killed. We were all going to a party at a friend's house. John said he would be there, but he didn't turn up.
We found out later that a car had run out of control and crushed him against a lamppost. Oh, how awful. Yeah. Well, the point was Pat knew before she had been told that. She knew? Yeah. Quite early in the evening when we were dancing, she suddenly screamed, clasped her chest, went white and collapsed to the floor. Now, I was with her at the time. So was Hugo. We didn't know what it was. Some sort of fit, we thought. But when she came round, all she could say was, John, poor John, nothing else.
We wanted to take her home, but she wouldn't go. So we put her to bed. No, no, Hugo stayed with her. There was always a tacit understanding between them. We didn't find out what had happened until the next morning. Poor Pat. Yeah. Well, she went to college, but she had a nervous breakdown in her first term. She wasn't cut out for teaching anyhow. She was too highly strung. Most of the rest of us were at university or college.
Not Hugo, though. He had to take over the business when his father died. They married before Easter. He had to practically look after her like a nurse for the first few months, I understand. But... and he's good like that. Yes. I've noticed he's very protective. Well, he's just right for her. You want another? Yes, please. John starts with J-O. I wondered how long it'd take you to spot that. Why do you think Hugo took his finger off the glass?
He had the same idea. Oh, thanks. I'm only surprised he let the whole thing go on. He must have thought it was me and banked on me not having such bad taste. But it wasn't you. No. But Hugo has to think so. He can't allow himself to consider anything else. But Pat will. She'll have thought it over and come to the same conclusions as us. Yes, knowing her, I should think she's going to lose some sleep tonight. Oh.
Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to startle you. It's all right. I'm looking for those sleeping pills. Oh, but you haven't needed them for years. You go back to bed, darling. I'll be all right. If I can't find them, I'll make myself a drink and read a book or something. I'll be all right. It's that stupid joke Max played, isn't it? No, no. I just feel restless, that's all.
Too much coffee, you see. You know I never sleep well after too much coffee. It's the caffeine, you see. The caffeine keeps me awake. You go back to bed, darling. You go back to bed. I'll be all right. Oh, it was only a joke, darling. He admitted it. I know it was a stupid thing to do, but, well, he admitted it. You come back to bed. I'll be all right. You come here, love. Come here.
Oh, darling. You're freezing. J.O., it might have been John. It might not have been a joke. It might have been John. You silly girl. It was Max fooling you. But it might not have been... Now, lovey, listen. It was Max, that's all. Max playing a stupid joke. John is... Dead, but... Yes, and it's all in the past, a long time ago. Max must have forgotten. He must have done it. But... No buts. Now, listen. Put all those stupid ideas out of your head and get back into bed.
Switch on the blanket and get warm. I'll find your pills and make a cup of cocoa and bring it up to you. Okay? Okay? I'm sorry, darling. I just... I know, lovey, I know. Don't worry. Everything's all right. Now, you get back into bed. Now, go on. Off you go. Go on. I don't want to stand about here all night, even if you do, young woman. Thanks, darling. Well, the best thanks you can give me is to stop these silly thoughts in that silly little head of yours. I'll try. Good. Now, off you go to bed.
She couldn't get up to sleep last night. Had to find those sleeping pills for her. Max, I'm very angry about that stupid joke. You could have put her back ten years. What the hell do you think you were playing at? Look, I really was... For God's sake, man. You of all people should know what you give me like about such things. Is this why you phoned me at work? To meet you here so you could give me a carpeting? Well, of course it was. If you'd seen her last night... You go. ...groping about in the dark... You go. ...crying... Look, I didn't bloody do it. Nor did Julie. Of course you did it. You said yourself you did it. Only because I realised how upset Pat would get if I didn't. Yeah, but you said... No, you listen.
I'm not a stupid man. I hadn't been drinking last night. I didn't play that stupid joke, if it was a joke. What do you mean, if it was a joke? Of course it was a joke. Have you thought of the alternatives? There aren't any alternatives. Glasses don't go round spelling out messages unless someone's fooling about. Look, I know you're trying to protect Pat, but... You're taking sandwiches, are you? Yes. There you are, love. Right, who's next? Look, let's get another drink, get some food inside us, and then go through this thing rationally, shall we? Hello? Darling, it's me. Have you found Pat yet? No, not yet. Oh.
Because I've just had lunch with Hugo, and he was wondering if he'd go round there this afternoon. Apparently they had a bad night last night. He's rather worried about it. Yes, of course I'll go, but does he still think it's one of your jokes? I don't know. He was pretty angry about the whole thing, but I calmed him down. We decided in the end that the best thing is to convince Pat it was all my fault. She'll worry herself silly otherwise. Are you sure? Yes, of course I'm sure. But believe me, darling, it's the best thing.
All right, I'll do it. Look, I must go now. There's someone at the door. All right, I'll see you this evening. Oh, by the way, I might be a bit late tonight. There's a contract needing attention. Can't you bring it home? No, that's one thing I don't intend to start. About seven or eight. All right, all right. I must rush now, darling. Bye. Yes? Mrs. Brown? Yes? My name is Mohammed Asif. Is Mr. Brown in, please? No, I'm afraid he isn't. Ah, that is a pity.
I have some business I wish to discuss with him concerning an item he purchased last week. An Ouija board. My husband did purchase one. Then you have it. Tell me, are you familiar with its purpose? I don't understand. Some people would regard it as no more than an objet d'art to hang on the wall. Others might try to use it to contact the spiritual forces. Perhaps even as a party game. Have you and your husband done so?
Why? Ah, I can see you have pity. And it spelt out something unpleasant? I think you'd better come in, Mr... Asif, thank you. In here, this way. Thank you. My card. Muhammad Asif, mystic and fortune teller. I will explain. But first, may I see the board? It's here. Ah, it has been a long time.
It is very beautiful. Yes. We were going to hang it on the wall over there. I see. Mrs. Brown, my information is that your husband paid ten pounds for it. I will give you fifty. Fifty pounds? I will also give him or you fifty pounds if you burn it. That is why I must have it. It must be destroyed. I have the money here. I don't understand. No, allow me to explain. May I sit down? Oh, yes, of course. Thank you.
It is a long tale. As you may have gathered, I know that board of old. It was made by my father's grandfather. Oh, dear. Excuse me a moment. Of course. Hello? Julie? Pat here. Oh, Pat, I was just about to ring you. Hang on a moment. Excuse me, Mr. Isley. Certainly. Sorry, I have a visitor. Oh, sorry. I just thought I'd call you. Thank you for last night. Oh, thanks. I...
I was thinking of coming round, as a matter of fact. You're worried, too. Worried? About what happened. Oh, no, no, no. I've got to go into town anyway, so I thought I'd drop in. You didn't mention it last night. Must have forgotten. Look, I'll be along in half an hour or so, OK? I must go, as I've got this visitor. Yes, of course. OK. See you. Bye. So sorry to keep you waiting, Miss Drastia, but... Where on earth has he gone? What on earth?
When I got back, he'd gone. He'd taken the board with him and left £50. Hugo, what am I going to do? I'm worried. Have you told Max? Well, he's out. I've tried. His secretary will know where he is. Well, she's out as well. Strange. Yes, but what am I going to do? Stop worrying about it, for one thing. Listen, are you going round to see Pat? Yes. Yes, well, whatever else you do, don't tell her about the board going.
They convinced her it was all a joke, Maxism. She'll have hysterics, believe me, she will. Coming. Hello, Pat. Come in, I'll make you a cup of tea. Lovely. Well? What? Did you do all you had to do in town? It wasn't anything, really. Just a birthday present for Max. Oh, yes? Yes, a putting machine thing. You know, for his golf. Oh. It pings the ball back. Oh, yes. Where belong?
How are the kids? Since last night. Hmm? I mean, you asked me last night how they were. They haven't changed since then. They're fine. Oh, good. Hugo asked you to come here, didn't he? He phoned you up and asked you to come here to make sure I'm all right. You haven't been to the shops. You haven't had time to go to the shops. Hugo got you to come here, didn't he? But he was worried about you. He enjoys it. I don't... He enjoys worrying about me. He likes to think of me being helpless. He likes to think I can't cope. He likes feeling noble and self-sacrificing and...
He's always trying to protect me, smooth things over. He's concerned about you. Yes, I know. I should be grateful, I know. But sometimes I feel smothered. I feel smothered now. I know Max played no joke. I've known Max all my life almost. I know he couldn't have played a joke like that, not after John. Did he tell you about my brother John? Did he tell you about him? Yes. What he didn't tell you was. What I don't expect he told you was. I mean, what did he tell you about that time?
That when your brother... No, not about John. John's dead, dead. But what did he tell you about that time about the three of us? Max, Hugo and me. What did he tell you about us? Nothing really. Just that there was always a tacit understanding between you and Hugo. Never noticed me. It was always Max. Max? Max was the one I was with. Max, not Hugo. What? Max was the first boy I ever kissed. First boy I had real dreams about. The first boy I ever... It was always Max, never Hugo. Hugo never noticed me.
I was strong, you see. Independent. Didn't need him to lean on. I needed no one until John died. Then I needed Max. But Hugo came. Stayed with me all night. Hugo, not Max. Max hates dependents. You must have noticed. He hates illness. He treats people at face value. Hugo needs to be a knight. Hugo got to me. Married me when I was down and I needed someone. He married me. Max went away and met you. Met you at university. I came back and married Hugo.
Oh, don't think I'm not grateful. God knows what I'd have done without him. But he's only happy when I'm dependent. When I've been pregnant. When I've had the flu. When I've been depressed. When I've had to lean on him. Last night I leant on him and he was happy. Put me to bed. Brought me a drink. Treated me like an invalid. A sick child, me. I have a great fear. What? That... Just a minute. PHONE RINGS
I'm afraid that Hugo did it. What? To upset me. Oh, Pat. To make me lean on him again. Nothing happened until he came to the table. I'm afraid that he guided the glass, made it spell out J-O to make me think of John and then went on from there. I know it's ludicrous, but I have this fear. Well, the only other possibility is that it was all genuine and that frightens me more, much, much more. Max, look, don't say it was a joke of Max's. Please. Max?
I shall pretend to Hugo that I think it was a joke, but don't you tell me that, please. I've come to trust you, Julie. At first I was jealous. You had Max. But no, I've come to trust you. Thank you. Max didn't do it. I know. I knew all along. Do you want sugar? No, no, thanks. I'm dieting. He thought it was for the best. On your prompting. Methought he didn't protest too much. Hmm?
Well, Max always overdoes telling a lie. It goes on for too long. He tries to make it so convincing you're unconvinced and you begin to wonder. Or he might even tell you the truth and make you think he's telling a lie. Do you know his secretary? I don't think so. What's her name? Angela, Angela Thompson, I think. No, not by name anyway. Why? Oh, just changing the subject. Good afternoon, Forbes and Hull. Mr. Brown, please.
Mr. Brown, I'm afraid he's not back yet. Oh, this is Mrs. Brown here. I phoned earlier. Oh, yes, of course, Mrs. Brown. I want to get in contact with him rather badly. You still don't know where he is? I'm afraid not. How about his secretary? Is she back yet? She went off with Mr. Brown, as I said, just after he got back from lunch. Oh, she isn't on the phone, is she? I think she is, I'm afraid. Thank you. Goodbye. I'm home, darling. Sorry to be so late. I'll get your supper. Good, I'm famished.
How's Pat? Pretty worried. Sit down, I'll get it. Thanks. We with along? We went and picked up Jane from school. Andrew was away on a day trip. Here. Thanks. Oh, you've eaten. Yes. Here, this looks good. It's a bit dried, I'm afraid. Well, I said I'd be late. Not this late. I'm sorry, love, but you know how it is. Did you stay at the office? No. I had to go to St Albans.
Angela wasn't feeling too well. Flew, if you ask me. So I ran her home and went on. You never mentioned St Albans on the phone. Well, it blew up just after I'd phoned you. One of those canny Scotsmen who demand the personal touch. Pathological about being diddled by a sassanac. Did you? Far from it. I think he diddled me. Still, it's all business. I tried to phone you, as a matter of fact. Did they tell you where I was? No. Said they didn't know. Don't tell me. Sally. Sally? Yeah. Oh.
A new girl on the switchboard and reception. Completely hopeless. Why Hobbs ever hired her is beyond me. Unless he's knocking her off, of course. Which, looking at his wife, is quite likely. What did you want to speak to me about? About... No, no, no, wait. First, I must apologise. What for? This isn't that bad. No, not about the food. After what you said last night... Well, we've all been on edge and...
Well, I've been sitting here thinking that you and Angela were... Having it off? Oh, I'm surprised at you, darling. Mind you, it would have been much more enjoyable than sitting half the afternoon and a good part of the evening on a very hard chair. And you didn't even offer me a cup of tea or a drop of the hard stuff. I'm sure Angela would have run to coffee at least. Yes, well, I'm sorry. I'm surprised you didn't come at me with the rolling pin. I know. I knew it was nothing really, but after what happened, and then again this afternoon... Sir, I'm not with you.
Pat, do you mean? Partly. Do you remember when you phoned me, I mentioned there was someone at the door? Well, it was an Indian called Mohammed Asif. He asked for you, and then about the board. Well, he traced you from a junk shop. I let him in, showed him the board, and he offered me £50 for it. £50? Yes. He said it had to be burnt. He was telling me why when Pat phoned, and I went to answer it, and when I came back in, he was gone. With the board. He left these. Good God.
Did you run out and try to catch him? Yes, but he'd gone. Most odd. What did you do then? I tried to contact you, of course, but you'd gone, so I phoned Hugo. I had to tell someone. Well, what did he say? Well, he was mainly concerned I didn't tell Pat. Did you? No. Good. Now, I don't think it would have helped. This, uh, Mohammed... Asif. Asif. Um, he didn't say where he was from? No, he was only here for a couple of minutes. And in that time, he convinced you he knew about the board? Yes, well, I got the impression that... What? That...
that it's not the first time it's spelt out something unpleasant, was the word he used. And you say he wanted to burn the board? Yes. He was about to tell me why when Pat rang. Oh, darling, what are we going to do? I don't know. We haven't got much to go on. I thought afterwards that I should have gone to the police. They might have found him if I'd called them straight away. Well, they might. In any case, they'd have asked a lot of questions and it would have got back to Pat. And, no, you were right to wait.
But the only clear fact I can make out is that Pat's kept well out of it, and should be kept out. Why? Why? Because I think she has a right to know. Do you? Well, keeping her in the dark like this, this is not fair. Patronising. All right, so it's a bit patronising, but why should we tell her something that would upset her even more? Best thing is for her to believe it was all a joke on my part. Well, she knows it wasn't. You told...
Julie. Oh, she knew already. Darling, she was in a bit of a state. So you went and told her it was no joke? She was getting into a state about being in the dark, about Hugo suffocating her, about their marriage, about lots of things. She needed to be able to rely on me. She knew you wouldn't play a joke like that. Well, she would have done if you'd stuck to your guns. She wouldn't. She knew. It wouldn't have mattered what I said. Max, she's... Oh, I don't know. She's what? She...
She thinks everyone's turning against her. Turning against her? No, no, that's not what I mean. Well, what do you mean? Come on, what do you mean? I'm trying to tell you. She's not as helpless as Hugo makes her out to be. She has a great grasp of what's happening and she feels very frustrated because no one will discuss it with her rationally. They treat her like a child, a sick child were the words she used. Except you. To a certain extent, yes.
So what you want me to do is get on the phone, ring up, hope Pat answers, and then say, "Pat, did you know Mysterious Indian called this afternoon and after hinting that the board has bought bad luck before took it away for burning?" She'd have hysterics. And to what end? No end. Darling, Pat is highly strung. When she gets worried, her health suffers alarmingly and this makes her worry more and she gets into a vicious circle. I told you it took Hugo Munster to get her over, John.
If you or anyone tells her everything now, you'd put her back ten years. That I promise you. How can you be so sure? Since when did Hugo ever let her face things? Since when did Hugo not treat her like a child? How the hell do I know? I'm not married to her. I don't have any divine insight into their private lives. It's not up to us to meddle. Honestly, darling, do you think telling her about Asif is going to help? Particularly when she doesn't suspect anything of the kind. If she half knew, then maybe yes. But why worry her about something she knows nothing about?
It'd be stupid. Don't you agree, love? Yes, I suppose it would be. You see, you're seeing everything in black and white, darling. Like earlier, when you were concocting great love affairs between me and Angela. Never occurred to you that there was a perfectly reasonable explanation for it all? It did, but I didn't pay much heed, I must admit. Well, there you are, then. Any pud? Of course. I'll get it. But there's one thing we've forgotten, darling. Hmm?
All this business of the Ouija board isn't in black and white. Nor is there any reasonable explanation. No, but then I don't expect there to be. Look, in a couple of weeks' time when we're still all alive and Mr Asif hasn't mysteriously reappeared and we've spent the 50 quid, we'll still be wondering what the hell it was all about. Yes, I suppose so. There's no suppose about it. Now, come on, where's me pud? Oh, it's time for bed. I'll get your pills. I don't think I'll need them tonight. Well, you won't sleep. No, I think I will. I feel better now.
Julie was very kind. She listened. You know what you're like when you start worrying. She told me it wasn't a joke. You mean you tried to convince her it wasn't? Now, I'll get your pills. Please, I don't want them. Well, you prefer to lie awake all night. Because that's what you'll do. You know you will. Hugo, listen. I know what's best. That's a good night's sleep. Now, you toddle off to bed like a good girl and I'll bring out some cocoa. Don't treat me like a child. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. But honestly, darling, you know perfectly well that you'll need a pill tonight. I'm sorry.
We usually have cocoa, don't we? I don't want a pill. Well, now you're being childish. Now, be reasonable. Think of me. I'll sleep without one. You mean you're not worried about what happens? Of course it's worrying. And when you're worried, you can't sleep. You know that. After all, it's not as if the pills are powerful or anything. They just help you to get off, I think, more. I just don't want one, that's all.
Not now, not right now. I want to see if I can get off without one, without a pill. I want to try. Darling, you're working yourself up into a state already. You're highly strung. Only because you insist on treating me as highly strung. If you treated me as normal, then I wouldn't get like this. Oh, darling. No, please, no. I'm sorry, love. I know half of what I say isn't true.
But I need to feel that something is left in my hands, something I can control, some decision I can make on my own. You're overwrought. That's all. Tired. You need a good night's rest. Things will be better in the morning. Darling, can't you understand? I don't want to be treated like a child. I don't want to be smothered. I'm not smothering you, lovey. I'm trying to help. I know, love. I know. Look, I tell you what. Why don't you have a bath and I'll do you back? You haven't done that for a long time, have you? Now, look, I'm not going to have any more arguments, not one. Now, you leave everything to me...
I'll make some cocoa, bring it up and... We'll see about the pill. I don't want... Put them by the bed with a glass of water. If you're still tossing and turning at midnight, I'll hold your nose and push one down your throat, eh? Now, you go up and run your bath and put in some bath salts. I'll join you later. OK? Yes, all right, darling. Letter for you. Thanks. Eat up, love. It's past eight. Something interesting. See? It's from Mohammed Asif.
a mysterious Indian yes look very sorry to have taken the law into my own hands believe me I know what's best seems I've heard that one before the Ouija board is now burnt I know that this will have made you curious I'm willing to explain will you please telephone me and we can arrange a meeting you're sincerely Mohammed Asif Bayswater he comes from Bayswater can't get much more prosaic than that do you think I should phone him too right I do
Remember those loose ends we discussed last night? Well, our Mr. Asif, mystic and fortune teller, is going to tie them up for us. Certainly you phone him. What, now? No. Give him a chance to have some breakfast. Phone him about nine or so, and then give me a ring. I've just called Asif, darling. Good. What did he say? He wants to hold a séance. A séance? Yes. With all of us. You, me, Hugo and Pat.
He didn't say. He just said it was important. He said he'd explain everything there. Oh, yes. That's something at least. When? This evening. This evening? Short notice. Look, listen, are you doing anything for lunch? Nothing planned. Why? Well, come down to the grapes about one, and I'll get Hugo there as well. We can talk it over. But I can tell you his reaction right now. A seance? Us go to Bayswater and have a seance with this assieve? Oh.
Well, you can go if you like. I'm not Norse Pat. What did I tell you? But, Hugo, don't you think we ought to go? Why? Quite apart from it upsetting Pat. I'm not going to give up a whole evening while some quack sets us up as patsies. No, he didn't look like a quack. Well, of course he didn't. A good con man never looks like a con man. He never mentioned money. He doesn't have to. Yet. Oh, look. The whole thing's so obvious, I'm surprised you didn't see through it, Max. It's a classic case of creating a need before selling the product.
Two days ago, you'd never heard of Mr. Asif. You'd have laughed at the idea of going to Bayswater for a seance. But now, you're off there this evening, and you're trying to get Pat and me to come along as well. You're being taken for a ride. You're implying that Asif has arranged all this? Yes, in a way. You've walked right into his trap. Trap? I'll tell you how he does it. He places the Ouija board in a junk shop. He waits until it's sold, gives the new owners a few days to polish it up and try using it, and then comes knocking at the door.
I expect it varies as to what happens next. You'd have to play it by ear. But he creates a great interest in himself and his profession. And from that to suggesting a seance at his place is but a short step. And along you go to be subjected to a show calculated to make you want more. But more will cost money. And you'll start paying. And paying through the nose. But Hugo, he can't train a Ouija board to give a bad prediction. But he doesn't have to.
If you'd said, no, nothing happened, we tried it out, then he'd say, thank Allah for that. Burn it, Mrs Brown, burn it before it's too late. I'm sorry, Hugo, but what you say doesn't hold water. You imply he runs it as a business. No business can pay £50 per new customer. Four new customers, if all goes well. Well, even so. I don't know if you know this, but Pat's father left her a bit. Well, not much, but tidy nest egg. It wouldn't take long to find out about that and about John. If we go there tonight...
I'll lay you even money. The first person he contacts is John. If he does that, Pat will be caught hook, line and sinker. He'd go through her money like a dose of salt. It's Pat he's after, not us. You two go if you like. But she stays out of it, and that's final. What's final, darling? Pat! What on earth? I didn't mean to listen. You must have seen her there, Jimmy. Yes, I did. You said nothing. Nothing. Sit down, Pat. I'll get you a drink. Thank you. Oh, Pat.
What are you doing here? I mean... I rang your office. They said you were here, so along I came. I was in town, just had my hair done. Oh. What would you like? A dry sherry, please. No, I'll get it. How about a sandwich or something? No, thanks. Everyone else OK? Yes. Let me know. Well, what do you want to see me about? Sorry? Well, you rang. What do you want to see me about? Oh, well, as I was here getting my hair done, I thought we might meet for lunch or something. But we are, aren't we? What... what...
What were you talking about? Oh, nothing. You know, just gossip. Julie, what were you talking about? I said nothing. Was it nothing, Julie? I, um... Here we are. What were you talking about, Max? I told her it was nothing, nothing. We were discussing the next time you could come round for Bridge or we could come to you. Hugo thinks it wouldn't be a good idea to make it too soon. Not after last time. Isn't that right, Julie? I... I just thought we should give Bridge a rest, that's all. Why? Well...
After last time, as Max said. After last time? Well, I just think we should give it a rest, that's all. I want to know the truth. I've told you the truth. Please, I can tell you, see. Tell when you're concealing something from me, trying to protect me, smothering me. I can tell. Oh, lover, you're working yourself up into a state over nothing again. As Max said, we were talking about Bridge. That's right, about Bridge. Julie, what were you talking about?
Please. Tell me, please. Tell her, love, tell her the truth, that we were talking about Bridge. She'll trust you. Yes, I'll believe you, Julie. Tell me the truth. We weren't talking about Bridge. Oh, for Christ's sake. I'm sorry, Hugo. The Ouija board has gone a...
Now, look, this has gone on long enough. I'm taking a... No, go on, Julie. Yes, go on, Julie. Look, you keep quiet. You've done enough damage. Come on, Pat. No. Come on, I said. No. Look, shut up. Darling, please, I must know now. Can't you see that... I'm taking you home. We'll have to tell her everything, Hugo. You must see that now. Yes, we have to. A half-truth is worse than a whole truth. She did what she thought best. She may be right, I don't know, but the cat's out of the bag. Hugo, you've no alternative now.
Tell her everything, darling, and then let Hugo say why he's against going to Bayswater this evening. Bayswater? I'm coming to that. Remember I mentioned him as to Asif. I was talking to Max on the phone. That's what it is. A confidence trick aimed right at you. I see. Well, thank you for being so honest.
Max, what do you think? Is Hugo right? Well, I don't know. I think it might be likely. Julie? I don't know either. I'm sorry, I just don't know. Do you think we should go tonight? I think... I think Max and I should go for the explanation, if nothing else. And me? That's up to you. I wouldn't advise it. Why not? If what Hugo says is true, then he is aiming it to you, and he'll be quite ruthless to get you on the hook. It could be very upsetting. He could pretend to hear the spirit of your brother...
Yes, I can see that. Julie, you're the only one of us who's actually met him. Do you think he's a charlatan? I don't know. He seemed very plausible. Then he would, wouldn't he? Look, the best thing is for Julie and me to go along and see what he says. There's no need for you two to get involved. We'll report back and then we can all make up our minds. Yeah. And we can stay in the background, stay out of it. No, I think we must go, all of us, this evening. No, darling, I'm sorry, but it's out of the question. We have to go. Can't you see that?
We have to go because he might be genuine, might be trying to help. The prediction... Oh, that was just someone fooling about. We know that it wasn't. We all know that. We are threatened, darling, and this man might be trying to help. I know you might be right in that it could be very unpleasant for me, but I'll be all right, you see? I'm quite calm, and now that I know what you all know, I'm quite calm.
I think we'd better take your car, Max. It's bigger. We're not taking anybody's car. Max and Julie can go if they like, but not us. We're staying at home. You stay if you want to, darling, but I'm going. No! Yes! Yeah, I'm the babysitter. Sally will be glad to. She might be going out. I'll get someone else. What time did you say we'd be there, Julie? I said I'd phone him back. Right. Max, how long will it take to get there? Half an hour, three quarters. Well, if you tell him we'll be along about eight, Julie, and then you pick us up about seven, we'll have plenty of time. Can you make it back by seven, darling? Yes.
Well, I might have to work late tonight. Well, that's up to you. I'll get a sit around just before seven. You'll phone me if you can't make it, won't you? Yes. Good. Well, settle then. Completely settled. You're welcome, weren't you, darling? You won't leave me? No, of course I won't. Thank you. But I still say you'll be upsetting yourself to no good purpose.
And if I get one indication that this Asif is a charlatan, so help me, I'll strangle him. Ah, good evening, Mrs. Brown. I am glad you could come. Good evening, Mr. Asif. This is my husband. Mr. Brown. Mr. Asif. Mrs. Stevens. Mrs. Stevens. Good evening. And Mr. Stevens. Mr. Stevens. Thank you all for coming at such short notice. Would you like to leave your coats here and come through? Thank you.
Does all right for himself, if you ask me. Go easy, won't you, until we know what it's all about. I know what it's all about, all right. Throw here. Would you like some refreshment? I can offer coffee or tea, maybe something stronger. No, thank you. Well, won't you all sit down? Thank you. Thank you. That's right. And you sit here. Good. Thank you. Now, I have much to explain, and we have a lot to do. Hold a seance, you mean.
You do not believe in, for want of a better word, the supernatural, Mr. Stevens? No, I don't. Mrs. Stevens? I don't know. I think so, but I'm not sure. Mr. Brown? Well, I'm very dubious. And Mrs. Brown, I would say you were not sure either. No, I am not. It's always the same. Very few say they believe. A number scoff.
And the majority are undecided. But no matter, no matter. All I require is an open mind this evening. I bet you do. Darling. Or if not an open mind, at least a willingness to listen. Look, about the Ouija board. Yes, I took it, stole it, if you like, because it had to be destroyed. It has now been burned. Why? Because it is cursed, Mrs. Brown. Let me explain. I am an Indian. My family come from near Calcutta.
For many, many generations, at least one male member has been gifted with psychic power, second sight, if you like, an ability to contact and learn from the spirit world. You must understand that words are not really adequate for describing this process and the forces involved. They must be experienced to be understood. The psychic gift that runs in my family made us venerated to a certain extent.
The coming of the British Raj did not change that. Indeed, such was our renown that the British sometimes consulted us. And in particular, they consulted my father's grandfather, perhaps the greatest mystic our family has ever produced. His fame and knowledge was such that even viceroys would seek his advice. For not only was he supremely gifted, but also wise.
and did much to ease the tensions between the two cultures. He was a great man, a very great man. One day, a woman called to see him, a white woman, young, attractive, English. She had come out with her husband who was in the army. I don't know her name. I shall call her Mrs. Smith. Sit down, Mrs. Smith, please. Thank you. You are worried. Yes, and...
and frightened. You did right to come to me. Whom have you lost? My brother. I cannot believe that he is really gone. He died of malaria last month. You need him? Yes, badly. I need to feel that I can... I need his comfort. I will try for you, but it will be difficult. Malaria saps the spirit.
And it may be too early yet to contact him, but I will try. He tried, but without success. Mrs. Smith, however, would not give up. One day, for they had grown close, she told him why. I adored Jonas, my brother. He was wild and reckless, loved horses. He was the finest horseman in the regiment. He introduced me to my husband. They were in the same regiment, but when they were posted out here...
I followed more to be with my brother than my husband. My husband is not kind. He is cruel, jealous, violent. While Jonas lived, my husband was checked, but now I need Jonas to give me strength. I need him badly. I understand. You must reach Jonas for me. You must, if it's a question of money. No, no. It is more how to reach him.
We have to push through the barrier that separates your brother from us. We have tried the normal methods. Now, we must try something stronger, more potent. I will build an Ouija board and dedicate it to Jonas. It will be useless for any other spirit. I will build it of the finest woods and with the greatest skill I have. Then he should come. And so my father's grandfather built the board. Just a moment.
Did you say the brother's name was Jonas? Yes. J-O. We asked who was there, and the board spelt out J-O. It would have gone on. That would have been Jonas. What? After a hundred years or more? Get away. The board was dedicated to him, and for other reasons that will become apparent, it could not have been anyone else but him. I thought it might have been John. John? My brother. My brother.
He was killed ten years ago. Pat, Mrs. Stevens knew before she was told that it... You did? You seem surprised. I am, but now is not the time to say why. Things must be explained in their proper order. I was telling you of the Ouija board. And how your great-grandfather, in a flash of inspiration, built it. It took several weeks. A board like that cannot be made without... How shall I put it? Without love. Without a concentration of thought. Without reverence.
Also, the woods were not always easy to obtain, for the letters he used, mahogany and ebony from Africa. The base was of polished sandalwood, and the rim... You pass. Yes, you pass.
One of the most poisonous woods in the world, found only in Java. And the lettering was in English, so that this Jonas could read them, I suppose. You may scoff, but the spirit, when free, knows little more than when it is within our bodies. It can glimpse the future, perhaps, but otherwise it is much the same. Please, go on. Yes, of course. I am sorry. He completed the board, and with it tried to contact her dead brother. He succeeded, and Mrs. Smith was comforted.
But not for long. Her husband had grown suspicious of her visits to the native quarter and set spies. Soon he knew where she went and what she was doing. He was a violent and jealous man. One evening he followed her to my great-grandfather's house, burst in when they were in contact with Jonas, and killed them both. He shot my forebear through the head and his wife through the heart. She fell across the board.
breaking the glass they were using and staining the sandalwood with her blood. The stains remained. You may have noticed them under the polish. What happened next? There was an inquiry, of course, but her husband claimed that Mrs. Smith and my father's grandfather had been lovers and was acquitted. We believe that he paid his spy handsomely to say what he wanted him to say. But the important thing, as far as we are concerned...
was that in breaking the glass, Mrs. Smith had trapped Jonas' spirit in the board, bound there by the upas round the edge and the blood on top. Why didn't it slip out of the bottom? Darling, please. Oh, come off it, love. You don't believe any of this rubbish, do you? Allow me. Human blood is very symbolic. A sister's blood, even more so. Jonas was unable to depart.
And in his imprisonment, he took on the poisonous aspects of the Yupas. I'm sorry, I don't understand. An Ouija board is something like a gilded cage. The Yupas forms the bars, the sandalwood, sweet-smelling, gentle, kind, the gilding. A spirit can be happy there, providing it is released in time by the mystic who summoned it forth. That mystic was now slain.
and the sandalwood seeped in a murdered sister's blood. The gilded cage had turned into a torture chamber, and there was no escape. The board was cursed. Whenever it was used by someone with psychic power, Jonas could reach out into the material world and give vent to his anger, his frustration, his malevolence.
He gave predictions of illness, accident, death. And did they come true? Yes, inevitably. Oh, God. What is it? What's wrong? She's fainted. Get some water, someone. Some water, for Christ's sake. Allow me. Get her outside, some fresh air. Are you all right, love? Hold her head up. Come on, Pat, I'm taking you home. No.
What's that? Brandy. Give it to me. Here, Pat, sit this. Make you feel better. Come on, love. When she's better, I'm going to put her in the car and then I'm going to come back and wring your blasted neck. You've got to control yourself. Control myself? Do you realise what this bastard's done to my wife? I did nothing but tell the truth. Nothing but a bloody tissue of lies, you mean. For God's sake. I'm going to wring his bloody neck. I don't care who in hell tries to stop me. You've got... Pat wants you. Look, you're all right, darling. I'm taking you out to the car. Can you walk? All right, I'll carry you. Now, put your arms around my neck. No, darling, no.
No, I'm not leaving. Yes, you are. Get her out of the car, Julie, and stay there. You too, Max. Not me. It's not your wife he's got at. Not your wife. Calm down, Julia. Calm down, for God's sake. Do you remember ten years ago? Well, look at her now. I'm all right, darling. Don't do anything. Please, please. It'd serve no purpose if you went for him now. You'd only upset her more. You sure you're all right? Yes, darling, I'm OK. It was just a shock. That's why I've been a bit tensed...
A bit tense. Anyway, we're going right now. One moment. Out of my way. You go. Please, darling, please. There are still some things that have to be explained. They will perhaps help your wife. Certainly they should not upset her more. Go on. First, I must apologize. I did not realize, Mrs. Stevens, that you could be so affected. You call yourself a mystic? I could have known had I been concentrating on her.
But I was far more interested in you, Mr. Stevens. Oh, of course you're bloody well aware. I was the one you meant to win over. The others were already half convinced before they came. No, it was not for that reason. I was interested because you are like me, gifted. You also have psychic power, Mr. Stevens, and of a very high order. Well, that's ridiculous. No, it is very often those that have the power, but do not realize it, who scoff the loudest.
They are frightened of what they sense inside themselves and try to mask this fear by delusion. Oh, for God's sake. It's not me. I'm not... No. But, John, my brother, I knew... You were close to him. Very close. Then it was probably a last desperate appeal from him to you. Because you received it, it does not mean that your power is anything out of the ordinary.
Your husband, however, is on a different plane altogether. Am I? Then how come I didn't pick up any of his final outbursts? I was no more than three yards away from him at the time. A matter of direction, of concentration. But you might well have received some of it and been unaware. Tell me, were you married at the time? No, but... A matter of attraction. Would you say your husband paid you more attention after your brother's death than before? Yes, but... In fact...
Would you not say that your relationship really started at that point? Yes, yes, it did. He would have been attracted to you because your psychic power was temporarily heightened. He would not have been able to help himself. There were other reasons. It was... Oh, for God's sake, this is too much. I'm sorry. I may have stumbled on an exposed nerve, but I assure you this was inadvertent on my part.
Mr. S., if there are several questions I would like answered. Some points are not clear. I would be glad to help, but first, please, won't you all sit down? Darling, sit down, please. Are you sure you're all right? Yes, really, I'm okay. Sit down, please. Oh, very well. Now...
Mr. Brown. Well, first, you say a spirit knows no more after death than before. Apart from an ability to glimpse the future. Well, then, how can a malignant spirit, such as you say was in the board, make predictions come true? I don't know. There are many things we do not know. But I should say...
that as the spirit grows in hate or is changed by peculiar circumstances, then it eventually reaches the stage when it is powerful enough to reach out and touch the material world. Also, the longer a spirit is in contact with our world, the stronger it gets. Jonas has been in continuous contact now for over a hundred years through the board. The prediction he gave for us? Will it come true? I am not sure. I hope not.
I hope that by burning the board, I have released him and thus reduced his power or made him benign. It is to establish this a seance must be held. Seance? Bloody seance. Mr. Stevens, I know this is difficult for you. Difficult? It's bloody impossible. Can't you see what he's doing? He's nudging us into a position of acceptance of him and his powers.
Before you know where you are, money will be mentioned and the hat will be passed around. So that is what you are afraid of, that I am a shyster. Mr. Stevens, my great-grandfather made that board and it has brought you four people great worry and placed you under a threat. It is my responsibility to help. I do not want and I do not need your money.
Well, that's another thing I can't understand. How did we get hold of the Ouija board? Yes. If it's so precious and dangerous, how come it ended up in a junk shop? A mistake. I was born and brought up in India and followed my calling there under my father. He told me of the Ouija board and made me a promise never to use it except in revenge. The spirit could be controlled by an adept. I have never been certain enough of my powers to attempt this.
When my father died, I came here and the board came with me. I've been here 20 years now. All that time, it remained in my box room, half forgotten. Two weeks ago, my daughter asked me if she could clear out the box room as a friend was joining her from university. I said yes. It was only later that I remembered the board and started to trace it. It took eight days, days of great worry. When I saw it again,
polished and clean and deadly. I knew it had to be destroyed. I took it, came here, wrote the letter to you, and then burnt the board in that fireplace. I built a pyre and ritualistically burnt it. It will be, I hope, enough
But now we must hold a séance and find out if I succeeded. Why hold a séance? Why not just go into a trance and ask the MTA? You are the one who called him forth, Mr. Stephens. You are the one to do that. If you were skilled enough, you could talk to him at this moment. But as you are not, we must link minds. In other words, hold a séance. Then we will find out what he wants. And if necessary, reason with him. It gets worse and worse.
He's going to do some rigmarole of pleading with a spirit to stop one of us dying this week. Can't you see he's a phony? All that rubbish about him forgetting the ball was there and his daughter clearing it away and selling it. Where is this daughter? Have you a daughter? Can't we see her? She is now back at university. Oh, how very convenient. The reason she came down was her mother's death. My wife died a fortnight ago, Mr. Stevens. I am still in mourning. I am used to having my calling derided, but do not count on my good humor for much longer.
I am sincerely trying to help. I need no money, only cooperation. Particularly yours, Mr. Steve. For it is only with your power I will be able to lift the curse from you, if it is still there. From me? Of course. He would have to work through you. You are now his contact with this world. He would work through you to achieve his ends.
Please, Mr. Stephens, accept, just for this evening, everything I have told you as true. Afterwards, call me what you will, but for the space of a few minutes. Accept. What do you want us to do? Nothing. We're doing nothing. Please, darling, please. Max, I think you should. He destroys his whole case if he asks for money now. Anyway, I've never attended a seance before. I thought I'd die first. I think you must. For Pat's sake, you must. All right, Mr. Asif. The floor is yours.
Thank you. Now, will you please draw up your chairs so that we can all link hands? And, Mr. Stevens, if you could sit opposite me, please, so we face each other. What, no special table? No candles? No mood music? No lowering of the lights? Those things are merely trimmings to impress the credulous, nothing more. With both Mr. Stevens and myself here, we have power and to spare. Now, are you all comfortable? Then we'll begin.
Clasp hands. Lean back. Relax. Close your eyes. Think of nothing. Breathe evenly, deeply. Think of nothing but my voice. Imagine nothing but a total blackness. See nothing but a total blackness. Feel nothing but a total blackness. It grows. The blackness grows. And your mind sinks back.
Feels tired. Drops back and back. Down and down into a black deep pit. And you relax. Back and back. Further and further. Mr. Stevens, do not resist. Sink back with us. Back and further. And let Jonas... Open your mind, Mr. Stevens. And let Jonas in. Let him in.
Let him flood into you. Allow him entry. Let Jonas in. Let him in, in, in. Let him in, in, in. Let him in, in, in. Let him in, in, in. Let him in, in, in. Let him in, in, in.
Are you there? Yes, I am here. Jonas? Yes, I am Jonas. And I know why you have called. You are released from your torment. Torment? I do not understand you, little man. What torment? When I burnt the board. You released me, and now I am free.
Free? I know. That is what I intended. But... But what? That I do not sound grateful. I am grateful, little man. For now I can live out my life. Mr. Steeling's help. He has gone mad. Not mad, but lustful. I have so seldom escaped. But now I am free. I was bound to that board. I couldn't escape.
But now I am free. Mr. Stevens, drive him out. Wake up and drive him out. To where? How? I have spent a day settling in. I have spent a day settling in, writhing inside his mind like a serpent. He did not know I was there, but I nudged him gently, nudged him here,
nudged him into accepting this seance, nudged him into relaxing the grip on his mind. And now I am nudging him into his death. All of you link minds and drive this abomination out. A failing mystic.
And three incompetent people drive me out. You get above yourself, little man. Fight him, Mr. Stevens. Fight him. Hear me. Out, out, out. You're late. Far, far too late. He is dead. Oh, no. He is bluffing, Mrs. Stevens. Do not break the circle. Join me. Out, out, out.
I will help. Out. Out. Out. You cannot do it. You cannot do it. Out. Out. Help us, Max. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out. Out
Here, darling, drink this. There you are. What happened? You fainted. It would have been surprising had you done otherwise. Jonas tried to take you over. Take me over? He had gone mad. It was horrible. I should have guessed, perhaps. When I burnt the board, I released him as I intended.
But he did not become grateful. He took the chance to try and take you over. He already had access to your mind. But he needed you to voluntarily ease your grip. And I should never have insisted on a seance. If you hadn't driven him out, tell me, what can you remember? Nothing really. I was thinking it was all a bit stupid.
Sitting in a circle, holding hands, with you trying to hypnotise us or something. Then I remember thinking, oh, what the hell? Trying to relax my mind. Well, it was easy. Almost too easy. I remember nothing more. Except a kind of growing excitement and pressure and yelling and crying and... Nothing. What happened? We drove him out. Or rather, you drove him out. He had forced you right back. I was laughing about it. It was terrifying, wasn't it, darling? Yes, it was.
I thought maybe he had won. But then you recoiled and forced him out. Well, where to? I am not sure. It is possible he no longer exists. If he does exist, then... Could he take Mr. Stevens over again? No. He was only susceptible because he had the power, but was unaware of it. Now he will be ever on his guard.
Even if he doesn't believe. Even if he explains away the whole thing as some sort of chicanery on my part. As he probably will. His mind will remember. Set up defenses. The curse has been lifted from you. I thank you. I can now retire with an easy mind. You're retiring? Yes, I have felt for some time now that my power was waning and this confirmed it. Also... Go on.
Your husband is safe, and so are you, all of you. But if Jonas still exists, then he might turn his attention to me. I don't wish to give him an entry by practicing my calling again. As you have seen, the mind is very vulnerable when in a trance. You would be well advised never to attend another seance, Mr. Stevens. Don't worry. I have no intention of doing so. None at all. Mr. Asif, we thank you.
We all thank you. Bye. Bye. Thanks for the evening, Julie. Thank you. Bye. Quite a successful evening. We had some good hands. Yes. It's funny to think a couple of months ago we did exactly the same thing and ended up in Bayswater at a seance. Yes, I know. Oh, it's cold. Let's go in. Hi, Kat. Oh, just a small one. That looks fine.
I thought she looked a bit tired. A bit tired, yes, but otherwise fine. Yes. Here. Thanks. Well, strange, isn't it? I'd say.
My trouble is that I can't stop my mind wandering, speculating. Even after all this time, I still come up with new angles. Such as? Well, let's take as a premise that it was all genuine, that Jonas, a malignant spirit from the past, tried to take Hugo over. Oh, but we've been over this again and again. Wait a minute, love.
I mean, how do we know that Jonas didn't succeed in taking Hugo over? What? Let's look at things from the other angle for a while. Let's assume that we didn't drive Jonas out. Let's assume that the Hugo we know got pushed out somehow and Jonas took over. Now, the last thing he's going to say is, Ha ha, you failed, I'm Jonas, ha ha. No, he's going to go right on being Hugo. I don't understand. Well, it's simple.
If Jonas has taken Hugo over, he'll have all of Hugo's mind to play with. All his memories, response patterns, skills, everything. If he doesn't want to be found out, as he won't be, he's got the perfect camouflage. He behaves like Hugo, he reacts like Hugo, he is Hugo. But not really. Really, it's Jonas. You're joking. No, I'm just speculating. When you come to think about it, Jonas could have got into any one of us. You, me, Pat, Hugo, Asif...
We never know. I could be Jonas. Oh, stop it. Jonas was evil. There'd be changes. Yes, but not right away. He won't show his hand right away. It'd be the small things that change. The small, almost imperceptible things. Things you could explain away by saying you're getting old or under a strain. He'd be very careful not to be found out. Very careful. He'd throw out smoke screens like at the seance. At the seance? Oh, a better way of making us all think he'd been beaten.
It was very dramatic and very effective. It wasn't until I started mulling it over a few days ago I realised that if I were Jonas, I would have done exactly the same. Or slipped quietly into someone else's mind. Mine, for example. What I'm saying now could be no more than an elaborate double bluff. In case you thought of it first. Had you, by the way? No. God, darling, you almost got me worried now. Sorry. I'm just playing with ideas. That's all. Just playing with ideas.
Pleasant evening? Yeah. They had all the luck, though. I thought you didn't believe in luck. Perhaps I've changed my mind. Oh. I'll be glad to get to bed. Oh, yes, so will I. I've a hard day tomorrow. One day I'm going to chuck everything, sell up and get the hell out. Start a new life again. Again? Oh, just a figure of speech, that's all. Oh, darling. You have to drive so fast, darling. You know it makes me nervous. Oh, sorry. But I enjoy it.
So much more exciting than horses. What? Oh, nothing, darling, nothing. Everything's under control. Everything's under control. Everything. Jonas was written for radio by J.C.W. Brook. Prunella Scales and John Rye were Pat and Hugo Stevens. Anna Cropper and Julian Holloway were Julie and Max Brown.
And David March was Muhammad Asif. Carol Boyd played the telephonist. The play was produced by Ian Cottrell. My guess is that you've heard a lot of people talking about Factor, the two-minute meals packed with nutrition. Up until recently, though, I didn't really care much about nutrition. I was into convenience. Burgers, pizza, you get the drift.
But the older you get, the more you realize nutrition is kind of important. At the same time, convenience is still crucial for me. I am busier now than I've ever been in my life. So eating food fast without eating fast food is a bit of a challenge. Was a bit of a challenge. With Factor, I get to check both of those off my list. I just heat it up and two minutes later, I'm sticking a fork in it.
Factor is more than convenient though. I don't even have to jump into my car to go through a drive-thru or pay a bunch of extra money so I can wait 30 minutes to an hour for a delivery app to come through for me. Factor meals arrive directly at my door, fresh and ready to eat. And with my new weight loss goals, the menu options are a real bonus. They have gourmet meals if I want to be calorie smart or pack on the protein, go keto and more. They have 45 weekly menu options.
How many weeks are there in a year? 52? Yeah, that's pretty dang close to a different menu for each week. I can use Factor for breakfast, quick lunches, premium dinners, even guilt-free snacks and desserts. Imagine that. Snacking without guilt. I didn't think that was possible. If you'd like to join me on this journey, you can visit factormeals.com slash darkness50off, then use the code darkness50off to get 50% off and free shipping in your first box.
That's factormeals.com slash darkness50off, then use the code darkness50off to get 50% off and free shipping. I'm not big on trends, never really have been, so I can't be trusted when it comes to clothes shopping for others. I'm married to someone who does understand what looks good.
Quince.com asked me to endorse them on Weird Darkness, and at first I thought, eh, that's a bad idea, for reasons I've already laid out. But I let my bride check out their website, and, well, she immediately started shopping for Christmas, birthdays, Mother's Day, Just Because Day, apparently that's a real thing, and now she keeps going back to Quince.com. Their lightweight layers and high-quality staples have become a go-to place for everyday essentials now.
Quince has all the things you actually want to wear this summer, like organic cotton silk polos, European linen beach shorts, and comfortable pants that work for everything from backyard hangs to nice dinners. And the best part? Everything with Quince is half the cost of similar brands.
They work directly with top artisans, so they cut out the middlemen. And Quince gives you luxury pieces without the markups. And Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical, and responsible manufacturing practices and premium fabrics and finishes. I honestly didn't think I needed Quince.com, but Robin says, yeah, I do. Desperately. I think that means she'll be buying some clothes there for me, too.
She's tired of seeing 98% of my closet being weird darkness t-shirts. Go figure. She's also making me out to be the hero in front of my nieces. We got a cute little toddler-sized poplin-smocked flutter-sleeve dress for my youngest great-niece, complete with pink puppies for the pattern. It's adorable, I'll admit that. We got a pair of cotton-stretched skinny jeans coming from my newly-teenaged great-niece, along with a set of organic cotton long-sleeve and pants pajamas.
My oldest niece, the mom in the family, is getting a pair of ultra-soft high-rise pocket leggings. Emphasis on pocket. That's a pet peeve of my bride. She refuses to buy pants without pockets. And we're also sending a pair of ultra-form high-rise leggings. I would look horrible in all of this stuff, but the ladies in the family are going to look awesome. Of course, we'll be going back to quince.com in the next few days to begin shopping for the nephews.
I'm not allowed to pick out those clothes either. Robin just does not trust me. Good call. Stick to the staples that last with elevated essentials from Quince. Go to quince.com slash weirddarkness for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's quince, Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash weirddarkness to get free shipping and 365 day returns. quince.com slash weirddarkness
Okay, yeah, I got to admit, this t-shirt is kind of fading. Hey everyone, this is Keri Champion, the host of Naked Sports. When you sit behind the wheel of the all-new 2025 Nissan Armada Pro 4X, you'll feel like the entire world is your playground. And you'd be right.
because this unshakable fortress of a vehicle is built to take you on your next adventure. With the twin-turbo V6 engine, the all-new Armada is powerful enough to take you anywhere. With its 8,500 pounds of toying capacity, it will let you bring all your toys along. And with seating for eight, your whole crew can join you.
Nissan created a truly capable vehicle in the all-new Armada. In fact, it's the first Armada to earn the Pro 4X badge, which Nissan reserves for its most adventure-ready vehicles.
The Armada is a big SUV designed and built for big adventures and must be experienced to be appreciated. Drive the all-new 2025 Nissan Armada today. Learn more at NissanUSA.com. Intelligent four-wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. I'm not big on trends. Never really have been. So, I can't be trusted when it comes to clothes shopping for others.
I'm married to someone who does understand what looks good.
Quince.com asked me to endorse them on Weird Darkness, and at first I thought, eh, that's a bad idea, for reasons I've already laid out. But I let my bride check out their website, and, well, she immediately started shopping for Christmas, birthdays, Mother's Day, Just Because Day, apparently that's a real thing, and now she keeps going back to Quince.com. Their lightweight layers and high-quality staples have become a go-to place for everyday essentials now.
Quince has all the things you actually want to wear this summer, like organic cotton silk polos, European linen beach shorts, and comfortable pants that work for everything from backyard hangs to nice dinners. And the best part? Everything with Quince is half the cost of similar brands.
They work directly with top artisans, so they cut out the middlemen. And Quince gives you luxury pieces without the markups. And Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical, and responsible manufacturing practices and premium fabrics and finishes. I honestly didn't think I needed Quince.com, but Robin says, yeah, I do. Desperately. I think that means she'll be buying some clothes there for me, too.
She's tired of seeing 98% of my closet being weird darkness t-shirts. Go figure. She's also making me out to be the hero in front of my nieces. We got a cute little toddler-sized poplin-smocked flutter-sleeve dress for my youngest great-niece, complete with pink puppies for the pattern. It's adorable, I'll admit that. We got a pair of cotton-stretched skinny jeans coming from my newly-teenaged great-niece, along with a set of organic cotton long-sleeve and pants pajamas.
My oldest niece, the mom in the family, is getting a pair of ultra-soft high-rise pocket leggings. Emphasis on pocket. That's a pet peeve of my bride. She refuses to buy pants without pockets. And we're also sending a pair of ultra-form high-rise leggings. I would look horrible in all of this stuff, but the ladies in the family are going to look awesome. Of course, we'll be going back to quince.com in the next few days to begin shopping for the nephews.
I'm not allowed to pick out those clothes either. Robin just does not trust me. Good call. Stick to the staples that last with elevated essentials from Quince. Go to quince.com slash weirddarkness for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's quince, Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash weirddarkness to get free shipping and 365 day returns. quince.com slash weirddarkness
Okay, yeah, I gotta admit, this t-shirt is kind of fading. My guess is that you've heard a lot of people talking about Factor, the two-minute meals packed with nutrition. Up until recently, though, I didn't really care much about nutrition. I was into convenience. Burgers, pizza, you get the drift. But, well, the older you get, the more you realize nutrition is kind of important.
At the same time, convenience is still crucial for me. I am busier now than I've ever been in my life, so eating food fast without eating fast food is a bit of a challenge. Was a bit of a challenge. With Factor, I get to check both of those off my list. I just heat it up, and two minutes later, I'm sticking a fork in it.
Factor is more than convenient though. I don't even have to jump into my car to go through a drive-thru or pay a bunch of extra money so I can wait 30 minutes to an hour for a delivery app to come through for me. Factor meals arrive directly at my door, fresh and ready to eat. And with my new weight loss goals, the menu options are a real bonus. They have gourmet meals if I want to be calorie smart or pack on the protein, go keto and more. They have 45 weekly menu options.
How many weeks are there in a year? 52? Yeah, that's pretty dang close to a different menu for each week. I can use Factor for breakfast, quick lunches, premium dinners, even guilt-free snacks and desserts. Imagine that. Snacking without guilt. I didn't think that was possible. If you'd like to join me on this journey, you can visit factormeals.com slash darkness50off, then use the code darkness50off to get 50% off and free shipping in your first box.
That's factormeals.com slash darkness50off. Then use the code darkness50off to get 50% off and free shipping. Hey everyone, this is Carrie Champion, the host of Naked Sports. When you sit behind the wheel of the all-new 2025 Nissan Armada Pro 4X, you'll feel like the entire world is your playground. And you'd be right.
Because this unshakable fortress of a vehicle is built to take you on your next adventure. With the twin-turbo V6 engine, the all-new Armada is powerful enough to take you anywhere. With its 8,500 pounds of toying capacity, it will let you bring all your toys along. And with seating for eight, your whole crew can join you.
Nissan created a truly capable vehicle in the all-new Armada. In fact, it's the first Armada to earn the Pro 4X badge, which Nissan reserves for its most adventure-ready vehicles.
This one's about a murder in which the victim trapped the killer. Do you want to hear it? ♪
Now starring Paul Freese as your teller of tales. Another story from The Black Book. Yes, from the world's most fabulous collection of strange and unusual stories, The Black Book. I've selected a story by Dorothy Horton. She calls it My Favorite Corpse. The Black Book
Artie Paul said goodnight to Lil. Then he walked across town to his hotel. Lil's kiss was still heavy against his lips. Artie smiled as he remembered the pleasures of the evening. Now for tonight, it was ended. But there'd be more evenings like this. Many more. At the hotel, he bought a pack of cigarettes, said goodnight to the desk clerk, and went up to his room. He let himself in, flicked on the lights, then placed a telephone call to Long Island.
While he waited, he whistled softly through his teeth. There was just one obstacle in the way of complete happiness for Artie. Just one.
A voice answered on the other end of the line. Hello? Jenny, this is Artie. I just finished that work for the office. Oh, that's nice, dear. I didn't realize how late it was until just now. I've decided not to drive home so late at night. I'll stay at the Tarleton. Well, whatever you think, dear. If it doesn't seem wise to come home, then you'd better stay in town. I think it's best, Jenny. I'm pretty tired.
Call you in the morning from the office, okay? All right, dear. Good night. And Arthur? Yes? Pleasant dreams, darling. Good night, Jenny. Arthur put up the receiver on the hook and sat staring out of the hotel window. Somewhere out there beyond the lighted city was his wife, Jenny. His devoted, faithful, understanding wife, whom he was going to kill. Artie wasn't sure just when he first planned to kill his wife.
But it was shortly after he met Lil Nelson. It had been one of those electric things. Artie and Lil had met a few times for cocktails after he left the office in the evening before going home. At first, it had been merely an exciting flirtation, but quickly, frighteningly, it had grown to be much more. Now he saw Lil every day. He knew he was in love with her.
Then finally, one evening, he told Jenny about it. But, Arthur, you're 15 years older than this girl. Jenny, look, we've been all over this. Arthur, it simply wouldn't work. Right now, she seems to mean a great deal to you. But it's just a crush. A passing fascination. Jenny, I'm sorry. I love Lil. I want a divorce.
You're acting like a schoolboy, Arthur. I don't think we should talk about it anymore. Jenny, can't you understand what I'm saying? I'm going to leave you. Now, Arthur, we've been through this before. I won't let you make a fool of yourself over that blonde. Jenny, you're making a mistake. Arthur, you need me. This girl wouldn't be good for you. You don't really love her. It's just animal attraction. It'll pass.
In a little while, we can look back on this and laugh. I'm right. You wait and see. Arthur, are you listening? I won't let you have a divorce, Arthur. That's final. I know what's best for both of us. Arthur, are you listening to me? Artie was listening. Listening to all the things he knew Jenny would say. All the platitudes, the truisms, the trite sayings that Jenny understood so well. Oh, Jenny loved him all right.
But with a cloying, maternal love. Nothing like the consuming, flaming desire that was Lil's. If there was any particular moment that Jenny sealed her fate, it was then. Half an hour after she went to bed, Artie left his house and drove back toward the city. And Lil... You're really gonna do it, Artie? Yes, I've got it all planned. There won't be any mistakes. Pour me another drink, baby. Sure. Here.
Funny, she never calls me baby. Always Arthur, like I was a little boy. You're not a little boy to me. Not at all. Will it be dangerous? No. When, baby? It'll take time. Two, maybe three months. But I've got a plan. Then you won't be stuck in this second floor walk-up.
You'll live where you want. You're used good enough for me. We'll travel, have fun. Florida, Bermuda. You and me, Lil. Soon? Soon. Three days after he made his decision, Artie bought a small .32 caliber gun. Then he began his period of stage setting. Lil was never mentioned in his home again. She stopped coming by the office to see him. There were no more cocktail rendezvous in the dark bar.
As time passed, people at the office forgot about her. The kidding died away. At bridge parties, his friends remarked on how nice it was to see a couple so much in love as Jenny and Arthur. They were getting along wonderfully. In the months that followed, Artie sat through countless dull plays and movies holding Jenny's hand. All the while, he ached to be with Lil. Artie wasn't certain that Jenny was fooled by all this sudden affection, but he knew their friends were.
And then after what seemed eternity, the night came. And Artie was glad. It was to be a Wednesday night. The night that Jenny went to her reading club. She'd be home around ten o'clock. Artie went to work setting up his alibi. He phoned Jenny. Then let it be known around the office he'd have to work late. Might even stay in town. He ate dinner. Then with his briefcase under his arm, sat down in the lobby of the Tarleton. In full sight of the night clerk. It was 8.15.
Artie acted his part to perfection. By 8.30, he was nodding. At five minutes of nine, he raised his head, blinked, and looked around. Getting up, he walked to the night clerk. Well, that's one for the books. Fell asleep right there in the lobby. Look, I'm going up to my room. Nothing short of an atom bomb could get me out of bed tonight.
And the night clerk laughed with him. Artie went up to his room, waited 15 minutes, turned out the lights and quietly, carefully climbed out the window onto the fire escape. Three minutes later, he was in his car. Forty minutes later, he was climbing in the library window of his own home. He looked at his watch. Ten o'clock. That was good. Jenny'd be home any minute. He moved quickly to the hallway by the front door and slid into the hall closet, pressing himself back into the darkness.
Jenny was such a creature of habit, he knew exactly what she'd do. After she came in, she'd lock the front door, put the key on the hall table, take off her coat, and hang it in the closet. Artie stood in the darkness, his hand wet around the butt of the gun he held. The complete lack of any sound was terrifying. But any minute now, it would... The door. She was home. His ears strained, glistening. The stale air of the closet made him dizzy.
Then a sound he hadn't expected. A fool crying about. Now she was walking, just walking back and forth and crying, crying softly to herself. Then the crying stopped. She was right outside the closet now. He pressed farther back. Another door was opening and a knife blade of light sliced into the closet. The coat slithered off a hanger under the floor. Jenny bent down to pick it up. And her eyes found his shoes, his legs.
Traveled up to his face, a rasping cough, her eyes wide. Artie lunged. I've got to tell you something. Artie dragged her into the smothering closeness of the hanging coats and pulled the trigger. As he drove back into the city, Artie knew he'd been very clever. It would look like suicide. He'd pressed Jenny's lifeless fingers around the butt of the gun.
It was lying on the floor now, close to her body. It was all so simple. After he parked the car, Artie started for the hotel. But as he walked, a sudden desire made him hesitate. If only he could see Lil for a second, she'd want to know. A few minutes later, he was climbing the back stairs to Lil's apartment. He found the door unlocked and opened it. Lil? Lil, it's Artie. Where are you, honey? There was no answer.
He stepped into the living room and suddenly something burst inside his head. Lil. Lil was lying on the floor, doll-like, grotesque. The blue robe he'd given her was stained with blood. A gun lay beside her. Artie, help me. Lil. Lil, baby. It hurts, Artie. Make it stop hurting. Lil. Lil, what happened? She shot me. She? Who? Who?
She came in, said she wanted to talk, shot me. Lil, Lil, I'll call a doctor. She knew. For months she knew about me. Baby, baby, please don't try to talk. When she shot me, your wife laughed. Artie... Lil! Artie got to his feet. Lil was dead. He picked up the gun...
It was his gun. His gun. The one he'd always had around the house. The one he had registered in his name. Now too late he remembered he hadn't seen it for several days. Of course. Jenny had taken it when she planned a murder of her own. Jenny had fooled both of them. And Artie stood there for a moment looking down at Lil. Tears filled his eyes and spilled over.
After a moment, he walked to the phone and slowly picked up the receiver. I want the police. Please, this is Arthur Powell. I want to report two murders. One at my home on Long Island and the other here at the River Crest. The River Crest
The Black Book stars Paul Freese as your teller of tales, assisted today by the noted Hollywood actress Virginia Gregg. Dorothy Horton's suspense magazine story, My Favorite Corpse, was adapted and directed by Norman MacDonald. The special music is composed and conducted by Leith Stevens. Next week, I'll have another story for you from The Black Book. It's most unusual, and it's called...
The Vagabond Murder. Oysters are in season every month that has an R in it. And Jack Benny's gang are in season whenever Sunday night rolls around. Listen in whenever you are in the mood for fun. Clarence Cassell speaking. Remember, the comedy treat that can't be beat is Jack Benny Time, Sunday nights on the CBS Radio Network.
My guess is that you've heard a lot of people talking about Factor, the two-minute meals packed with nutrition. Up until recently, though, I didn't really care much about nutrition. I was into convenience. Burgers, pizza, you get the drift. But the older you get, the more you realize nutrition is kind of important.
At the same time, convenience is still crucial for me. I am busier now than I've ever been in my life, so eating food fast without eating fast food is a bit of a challenge. Was a bit of a challenge. With Factor, I get to check both of those off my list. I just heat it up, and two minutes later, I'm sticking a fork in it.
Factor is more than convenient though. I don't even have to jump into my car to go through a drive-thru or pay a bunch of extra money so I can wait 30 minutes to an hour for a delivery app to come through for me. Factor meals arrive directly at my door, fresh and ready to eat. And with my new weight loss goals, the menu options are a real bonus. They have gourmet meals if I want to be calorie smart or pack on the protein, go keto and more. They have 45 weekly menu options.
How many weeks are there in a year? 52? Yeah, that's pretty dang close to a different menu for each week. I can use Factor for breakfast, quick lunches, premium dinners, even guilt-free snacks and desserts. Imagine that. Snacking without guilt. I didn't think that was possible. If you'd like to join me on this journey, you can visit factormeals.com slash darkness50off, then use the code darkness50off to get 50% off and free shipping in your first box.
That's factormeals.com slash darkness50off, then use the code darkness50off to get 50% off and free shipping. I'm not big on trends, never really have been, so I can't be trusted when it comes to clothes shopping for others. I'm married to someone who does understand what looks good.
Quince.com asked me to endorse them on Weird Darkness, and at first I thought, eh, that's a bad idea, for reasons I've already laid out. But I let my bride check out their website, and, well, she immediately started shopping for Christmas, birthdays, Mother's Day, Just Because Day, apparently that's a real thing, and now she keeps going back to Quince.com. Their lightweight layers and high-quality staples have become a go-to place for everyday essentials now.
Quince has all the things you actually want to wear this summer, like organic cotton silk polos, European linen beach shorts, and comfortable pants that work for everything from backyard hangs to nice dinners. And the best part? Everything with Quince is half the cost of similar brands.
They work directly with top artisans, so they cut out the middlemen. And Quince gives you luxury pieces without the markups. And Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical, and responsible manufacturing practices and premium fabrics and finishes. I honestly didn't think I needed Quince.com, but Robin says, yeah, I do. Desperately. I think that means she'll be buying some clothes there for me, too.
She's tired of seeing 98% of my closet being weird darkness t-shirts. Go figure. She's also making me out to be the hero in front of my nieces. We got a cute little toddler-sized poplin-smocked flutter-sleeve dress for my youngest great-niece, complete with pink puppies for the pattern. It's adorable, I'll admit that. We got a pair of cotton-stretched skinny jeans coming from my newly-teenaged great-niece, along with a set of organic cotton long-sleeve and pants pajamas.
My oldest niece, the mom in the family, is getting a pair of ultra-soft high-rise pocket leggings. Emphasis on pocket. That's a pet peeve of my bride. She refuses to buy pants without pockets. And we're also sending a pair of ultra-form high-rise leggings. I would look horrible in all of this stuff, but the ladies in the family are going to look awesome. Of course, we'll be going back to quince.com in the next few days to begin shopping for the nephews.
I'm not allowed to pick out those clothes either. Robin just does not trust me. Good call. Stick to the staples that last with elevated essentials from Quince. Go to quince.com slash weirddarkness for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's quince, Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash weirddarkness to get free shipping and 365 day returns. quince.com slash weirddarkness
Okay, yeah, I got to admit, this t-shirt is kind of fading. Hey everyone, this is Keri Champion, the host of Naked Sports. When you sit behind the wheel of the all-new 2025 Nissan Armada Pro 4X, you'll feel like the entire world is your playground, and you'd be right.
Because this unshakable fortress of a vehicle is built to take you on your next adventure. With the twin-turbo V6 engine, the all-new Armada is powerful enough to take you anywhere. With its 8,500 pounds of toying capacity, it will let you bring all your toys along. And with seating for eight, your whole crew can join you. Nissan created a truly capable vehicle in the all-new Armada. In fact, it's the first Armada to earn the Pro 4X badge, which Nissan reserves for its most adventure-ready vehicles.
The Armada is a big SUV designed and built for big adventures and must be experienced to be appreciated. Drive the all-new 2025 Nissan Armada today. Learn more at NissanUSA.com. Intelligent four-wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions. My guess is that you've heard a lot of people talking about Factor, the two-minute meals packed with nutrition.
Up until recently, though, I didn't really care much about nutrition. I was into convenience. Burgers, pizza, you get the drift. But the older you get, the more you realize nutrition is kind of important.
At the same time, convenience is still crucial for me. I am busier now than I've ever been in my life, so eating food fast without eating fast food is a bit of a challenge. Was a bit of a challenge. With Factor, I get to check both of those off my list. I just heat it up, and two minutes later, I'm sticking a fork in it.
Factor is more than convenient though. I don't even have to jump into my car to go through a drive-thru or pay a bunch of extra money so I can wait 30 minutes to an hour for a delivery app to come through for me. Factor meals arrive directly at my door, fresh and ready to eat. And with my new weight loss goals, the menu options are a real bonus. They have gourmet meals if I want to be calorie smart or pack on the protein, go keto and more. They have 45 weekly menu options.
How many weeks are there in a year? 52? Yeah, that's pretty dang close to a different menu for each week. I can use Factor for breakfast, quick lunches, premium dinners, even guilt-free snacks and desserts. Imagine that. Snacking without guilt. I didn't think that was possible. If you'd like to join me on this journey, you can visit factormeals.com slash darkness50off, then use the code darkness50off to get 50% off and free shipping in your first box.
That's factormeals.com slash darkness50off, then use the code darkness50off to get 50% off and free shipping. I'm not big on trends, never really have been, so I can't be trusted when it comes to clothes shopping for others. I'm married to someone who does understand what looks good.
Quince.com asked me to endorse them on Weird Darkness, and at first I thought, eh, that's a bad idea, for reasons I've already laid out. But I let my bride check out their website, and, well, she immediately started shopping for Christmas, birthdays, Mother's Day, Just Because Day, apparently that's a real thing, and now she keeps going back to Quince.com. Their lightweight layers and high-quality staples have become a go-to place for everyday essentials now.
Quince has all the things you actually want to wear this summer, like organic cotton silk polos, European linen beach shorts, and comfortable pants that work for everything from backyard hangs to nice dinners. And the best part? Everything with Quince is half the cost of similar brands.
They work directly with top artisans, so they cut out the middlemen. And Quince gives you luxury pieces without the markups. And Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical, and responsible manufacturing practices and premium fabrics and finishes. I honestly didn't think I needed Quince.com, but Robin says, yeah, I do. Desperately. I think that means she'll be buying some clothes there for me, too.
She's tired of seeing 98% of my closet being weird darkness t-shirts. Go figure. She's also making me out to be the hero in front of my nieces. We got a cute little toddler-sized poplin-smocked flutter-sleeve dress from my youngest great-niece, complete with pink puppies for the pattern. It's adorable, I'll admit that. We got a pair of cotton-stretched skinny jeans coming from my newly-teenaged great-niece, along with a set of organic cotton long-sleeve and pants pajamas.
My oldest niece, the mom in the family, is getting a pair of ultra-soft high-rise pocket leggings. Emphasis on pocket. That's a pet peeve of my bride. She refuses to buy pants without pockets. And we're also sending a pair of ultra-form high-rise leggings. I would look horrible in all of this stuff, but the ladies in the family are going to look awesome. Of course, we'll be going back to quince.com in the next few days to begin shopping for the nephews.
I'm not allowed to pick out those clothes either. Robin just does not trust me. Good call. Stick to the staples that last with elevated essentials from Quince. Go to quince.com slash weirddarkness for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's quince, Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash weirddarkness to get free shipping and 365 day returns. quince.com slash weirddarkness
Okay, yeah, I got to admit, this t-shirt is kind of fading. Hey everyone, this is Keri Champion, the host of Naked Sports. When you sit behind the wheel of the all-new 2025 Nissan Armada Pro 4X, you'll feel like the entire world is your playground. And you'd be right.
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Today's story is about three New Hebrides fishermen and the strange object they pulled up in their nets, a bit of flotsam which might have come from beyond the green door.
There was a huge metal can in their net, cylindrical in shape and painted red with white lettering. It was nearly as long as their outrigger, and it looked very strange bobbing in the shallow waters of the Coral Sea. The three Melanesian fishermen stared at it for a long time. They came from Futua Island in the New Hebrides, and not one of them could read.
that they had heard of the city of Numia and had seen pictures of cars and metal ships. They understood the vast wealth of metal and they knew that this great red can had drifted into their net from civilization from Numia or perhaps from, well, from distant America. White men had made it and now it belonged to them.
They grew very excited when they thought of this, for if the metal were worth much, how much would the treasure inside be worth? They told the metal thing to a deserted atoll near Futua and went to work trying to open it. It was desperately hard work with their crude tools. It would have been easier to tell the villagers and get their help, but then the villagers would have shared in the new school technology.
schoolteacher would have taken command of everything. The wealth would have been shared out equally, but there would not have been enough for these three prettily efficient men. At last the gigantic bolts turned and the can was opened. Eagerly they lifted out its contents and looked with amazement at the white man's strange treasure. That can was filled with bricks, large bricks of metal, dull-faced and soft,
The three fishermen thought they might be gold. If any men were foolish enough to cast gold into bricks, they hid all the bricks except three. With these in the empty can, they set sail for Numia. If they could find a trader who would give them a good price for this, they would sell in the other bricks as well. The harbour of Numia was a vast confusion of ships.
but at last they tied their outrigger to a dock with a metal can bobbing behind in the net. Two of them stood guard while the third went off to find a trader. Soon he was there, a big deeply tanned man. He examined the bricks and said that they were not gold. Probably they were lead, a metal of little value. Still, perhaps he would make a small offer. Then the trader glanced at the bobbing metal can. He looked closer
and went ashen yellow. He screamed at them, "You fools! Do you know what that says?" "No, of course you don't. It says, 'Danger! Do not open! Do not touch! Radioactive wastes inside!'" They couldn't understand him.
for he babbled on about atomic reactors and cans sunk below the sea and never supposed to rise as this one had. And at last he screamed, "I touched it! I touched it!" He fled from their outrigger as though all the devils in creation were pursuing him. The three fishermen watched him go.
They knew there was no accounting for a white man's superstitions. But obviously, they were going to have difficulty selling this metal.
Thanks for listening! If you like what you heard, be sure to subscribe so you don't miss future episodes. If you like the show, please, share it with someone you know who loves old-time radio or the paranormal or strange stories, true crime, monsters, or unsolved mysteries like you do. You can email me and follow me on social media through the Weird Darkness website.
WeirdDarkness.com is also where you can listen to free audiobooks I've narrated, get the email newsletter, visit the store for creepy and cool Weird Darkness merchandise. Plus, it's where you can find the Hope in the Darkness page if you or someone you know is struggling with depression, addiction, or thoughts of harming yourself or others. You can find all of that and more at WeirdDarkness.com.
I'm Darren Marlar. Thanks for joining me for tonight's Retro Radio, old time radio in the dark. I'm Rodney Williams. And I'm Travis Holloway. Welcome to The Wealth Break. Let's be honest, building wealth doesn't look the same for everyone. It's not just about saving. It's about investing. It's about navigating systems that weren't built for you, embracing your hustle and relying on your community to create something bigger.
And that's exactly why we created The Wealth Break. We made something different, something more human. It's not just another financial podcast. It's a conversation about real life, real struggles, and real wins. We're here to talk about the journey. You're hearing from people who've broken barriers, found creative ways to succeed, and learned to build wealth on their terms. Whether it's the first time homeowner, a gig worker, or someone turning a side hustle into a six-figure business, we're bringing you their stories.
And we're not stopping at success stories. We're breaking down the realities, like what it means to take risk, how to navigate failure, and why resilience matters. Because wealth isn't about money. It's about creating a life where you can thrive and help others to do the same. So if you're ready for a podcast as much as about people as it is about money, you're in the right place. Listen to the Wealth Break podcast on the iHeartRadio app,
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