#2312 - Jeremy Renner
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Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out. The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast. What's happening, man? What's going on? It's great to see you. Yeah, good to be seen. Boy, what a journey you've been on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I started listening to your audio book. It was giving me anxiety. It gets better, right? It takes a minute, but there's a relief.

For the reader. Well, the relief is seeing you healthy and walking around. Well, the relief is also you kind of know the end of the story. Yes. Before you go into it. Right. So then you can really kind of dive into the actual story.

detailed narrative that I put out. There's no other way to do it. But yeah, it's tough for a minute. It's like my sister, it took her a while to read and anybody that was kind of involved in the incident takes a minute. It took me a long time to kind of get through it, right? It's anxious for me too. So how long was the actual recovery? Because you don't even walk with a limp. Yeah, yeah. There's a lot of

Some things are pretty miraculous. Some things can be explained. And I tried to figure it out as I was writing the book. A lot of people ask questions. I ask myself questions. Some things were on my own will. Some things were otherworldly of some sort. But yeah, I was given, you know, I was supposed to walk with a limp because pretty much a lot of titanium. And then it was certainly not running. And I'm doing far beyond all those things. Don't know exactly why. I can pontificate on why and

What do you think of it? I think it's – will is a really special thing. And the love and fuel to fuel your will, I had in spades. I can – I feel like I could pretty much do anything if I set my mind to it. When it was my essential part of my life, my recovery, was a 24-hour day job. And typically I do many, many other things, right, as we all do in our lives. But when all my focus, like even parenting, was out the window –

Until I can get better. So I had to do that first. So that being the central part of every thought, every fiber, every cell in my body was geared towards a one-way street of recovery. Well, I'm getting fucking better. So I just got better. And there's no, what's the alternative? Wow. You know, I was brought back somehow, some way. And it would be a disservice to not

do all the things I'm supposed to be doing and want to be doing. So it just took a lot of effort and it looked a lot of support to tech dude. I mean, there's hundreds of people involved in helping me not die again, you know, but then it was, but at the end of the day, the,

Recovery, as you know, everybody's injured in some sort of way. It's a lonely road. It's only you. No matter how much help you have or PT you have, if your tendons go or whatever the heck happens, you still have to put in the work every day and endure the pain and manage the pain and mitigate it. It can be quite lonely, but I always found that

And my daughter and my family, as I see their faces, when I get better, I could stand up, let's say, or not pee in a jar. I could get in a wheelchair. Any sort of milestone, I'd see their faces get a little bit less horrified, even relieved, even quite joyful even. So as much damage as I did to my family and their hearts, me getting better can relieve them of that burden.

So it was an easy one-way road to recover. And that's why I recovered fast. And I attribute it to my love for my family. So let's bring back to the day of the accident. When exactly was it? It was New Year's Day. New Year's Day. New Year's Day, 2023. Yeah. And I host...

My family at my house up there, like 25 people every post-Christmas to New Year's all the time. Family, friends, whoever, just kind of come up and we can celebrate the holidays together, go skiing, all these type of things. But we had a big kind of snowmageddon type snow event that shut down the mountain that I live on at the top of Lake Tahoe at about 8,000 feet elevation. And we got just tons and tons of snow. But it happens often, maybe not that intense of a storm.

But so much so where we were cut off from anywhere else, we're snowed in. Fine. I'm prepared for that stuff.

three days without power, prepared for it. It's fine. We can have fun. It's actually a relief. All the cell phones go off. All the iPads go away, computers, and everybody's just playing card games with headlamps on. And I mean, it's a riot. So we had a good time. You know, the food supply was still good. But you know, it's New Year's Day and we're getting a break in the weather. So I decided I need to clear the roads and see, come out for air, essentially. And I

In doing so, that's when the accident sort of transpired. And it's not – it's more of a routine type of thing to have a half-mile-long driveway up there. I'd have to maintain it myself. So I have a snowcat and a bunch of other snow removal type equipment.

There was a bunch of vehicles, snowmobiles even, things that got stuck in the driveway because it was a lot of extra snow. And some of it was very light, and then it got very icy and hard. So you're sinking down like three or four feet into it, and it was a hot mess. So I had to try to dig all that stuff out using the snowcat, pulling this stuff out. This thing, a snowcat, to describe it in words is pretty difficult, but it's like a tank.

It's probably I don't know 12 feet wide the tracks on each side So it spins like a tank like a skid steer there. Yeah, there we go. So that's that's that's a small tiny version of one But yeah, it's something kind of Star Wars, you know, but this mine are metal track. It's more like that one right there Oh, yeah, that's it. That's exactly like the one I have so it's about like 16,000 pounds or so and it's very nimble on this on this

Just to see it physically, put it back up, to see it physically and to know that that's what ran over your leg? Oh, my whole body. Oh, God. Yeah. So you have to step on the tracks, you see, to get into the cab to operate it. So stepping on the tracks is a normal thing to do. You just don't do it while you're operating it, right? You're in the thing, you drive it, and it's just easy. It's a thumb, go forward, reverse, and you're neutral, and that's it. It's really easy to operate.

But it was just the accident happened because you have to get in and out on the off on those tracks and I hit the thumb thing and It threw me off and has gone towards my nephew so I had to jump back on and try to stop it from killing him because it was gonna crush him between the truck and that big blade that I have I see that thing. Yeah, it's a few thousand pounds that things gnarly but so my instinct was to jump back on and try to stop it, you know, obviously didn't work out and got ran over and

There you go. How much of your body did it run over? The entire, all of it. Oh, my God. Because I went, if the tracks were here to jump in the cab, I leaped up and over to try to grab onto it and got sucked under the whole thing. So the whole length of it just kind of. So there's like a set of wheels that turn these tracks, you see. And there's like six wheels. So it undulates. So I felt all the undulate. The first one was the worst, like the pressure and skull crush and all that stuff.

and then it releases because of the undulation of the tire and the track. And you're awake for that, just like by the sixth undulation, just like, "All right, all right, just kind of finish already." And you're just like, it's almost like, you know, you're like you're drowning and being struck by lightning and bleeding out, all the things all at once, man. It's like immense pressure and a movable object. And, you know, my skull kind of lost out but still survived.

skull yeah run over yeah yeah yeah it's like it was like you know yeah it's everything it's like it's 38 broken bones and eyeballs out oh my god and it's a shout out to medical science I know right and yeah I mean all the doctors were like dude I don't know how your eyes still operating are still working but I think because I was on ice because I did see it I'm like well maybe I'm going to put this eye on ice and just kind of rolled into it

Because I saw my eye with my other eye, right? And I'm like, I'm going to be able to keep that thing. Because I'm on like an icy asphalt driveway that's off of my driveway, right? The top of the road. So it wasn't really great for impact of getting ran over. I wish I was on a snowpack. It would have been maybe a little bit easier. It would have pushed me into snow, right? But it wasn't. So I just kind of rolled onto it just like maybe I could kind of put the eye on ice until I could figure out how to breathe. Oh, my God. I had to sort of laugh at it because...

It's weird to sort of think about that, you know? Wow. Boxing's biggest weekend is here, and DraftKings Sportsbook is bringing the heat.

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And if you want to learn how to check yourself or donate to Testicular Cancer Society, visit manscaped.com slash TCS. So 38 bones? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was like a lot of ribs and all my spiral fractures and my legs, all my joints were broken, all my ankles, my knees, my...

None of my spine, and I only got a laceration in my liver from one of the ribs breaking in a couple spots, and I went down and kind of stabbed it, but it didn't really mess it up too bad, so that's okay. But all my organs, my brain, I don't think there's any brain damage. I'll use that excuse later, I guess. You know, uh...

Yeah, and my spine. That's the miracle. It's like, how did I break 14 ribs, right? And I cracked my skull and every arm and leg and finger and thing. But my spine was spared. Oh, my God. And all my organs were spared and my brain. So, like, it's kind of almost no harm, no foul at the end of the day, even though there's, you know, probably 20% titanium in my body at this point. So, how many pieces of titanium are in you? Well, yeah.

The guy that invented this procedure worked at the hospital in Reno because there's a lot of crushing injuries that happen. So the ski resorts and mines that are in the area. So I got really lucky to get this doctor. But it took four doctors to get to this guy. So so says my family. I was out in a coma. And they once they found this guy, he was on vacation. The mayor of Reno actually called him, said, you got to get back and help my friend out.

And so he rushed out and he's just like, this is what he does for a living. He's like, oh, this is easy. I can't wait to do this for this guy. So it relieved all my family. There was such relief because they were like, oh, he's going to lose his eye. We're going to cut off his leg. I mean all this kind of tragic sort of prognosis, whatever you want to call it, right? So this guy comes in. No, no, it's fine. We're going to hammer this thing in. We're going to do this. We're going to do his face plate. We're going to do this. And just lucky that the orbital bone that broke and the cheekbone that broke

They only wanted to do that because my face, as an actor, made me want to save my cheekbone, I guess. Not that I cared about it. But, yeah, he fixed up all my ribs, and they used, like, this mesh, and he has this sort of weird...

way to kind of handle. If you fix one or two of the ribs that are all broken, the rest will kind of fall into place. The body's pretty miraculous. Just give it a little direction and then it heals on itself and you'll grow the bone. So it's not as much titanium in my ribs as one might think for all those breaks. It's only...

You know, it looks like rebar, right? You get a scan. A lot of my body's like... Do you have an x-ray of your body? Yeah, somewhere. Yeah, yeah, somewhere. Is it online anywhere? Where we can see it? I don't know. Do you have it on your phone or anything? No, I don't think so. I could ask my sister for it. I've been showing everybody that thing. It's pretty remedial looking, you know? It looks like, you know...

Like I had a hammer and a two by four and some nails. And that's what this looks like. It looks very like, why is there a nail and two screws? And, you know, it's carpentry 101, you know. There's nothing like, you know. I think the guy that, because I had like screws in my skull and my jaw because that broke in three spots. And the guy took it out. It's something that he got from Home Depot. Literally, it's like some, you know.

It just took it out. I'm like, dude, it's squeaking like it's in wood. You need to numb it or something. I almost knocked this guy out. It's just like, it's unbelievable. Unbelievable. And I was always kind of half in the bag mentally, just kind of, because it takes so much mental to deal with like pain management.

And it's emotionally exhausting to deal with so many different things in your body. So I'm always kind of half paying attention to things. I'm much sharper mentally now because I don't have to mitigate so much inflammation, pain all the time. So I can kind of be here and laugh with you. But back then when this guy was – I almost sucked this guy so hard, dude. But yeah, glad – I was really happy to –

It was a great milestone for me to get these screws out of my skull. Jesus. But that was worse than getting ran over by the snowcat, dude. Really? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. In terms of pain or just discomfort? Well, no, it wasn't so much the pain. It's the haunting images of feeling my gums wrap around this screw and it's pulling out. It's a lot longer than I thought it was. And then there's three more to go.

It was more the visual is, in my mind, kind of what makes it terrible. Because I'm a pretty visual guy. So I don't think anything hurts me so much in a physical way. But the visual is a pretty haunting image. And the sounds, dude. It vibrates your skull as he's taking it out. And it's like, this is what horror films are made of.

Right? It's just like saw or something. Is that the only thing that they had to take out is the screws that were in your head or did they take them out of your body as well? No, no. They have to leave those in for the most part because why risk infection and open you up for something. But yeah, so all the rest of the stuff stays in until those screws come loose.

At some point, they will. They start backing out, right? Yeah, yeah. You'd think you'd put in a locking screw, right? I've had friends that have had broken arms and starts poking out of the bone. Yeah, yeah. It's what it's doing now. And they have to get another operation and get it removed. Yeah. Yeah. So how many different plates do you have? I think I got – there's only a couple in my face and they went in like underneath my cheek.

A plate for my orbital socket and then for the cheekbone. They put, I think, a plate or two over there to hold that bone in place. Do you feel it? I feel the lack of feeling in it. It's still numbness to this whole side because they had to cut all these nerve endings, right, to get in through your mouth. So even the side of my face is a little slightly, a little numbish.

And the rest of them, do you feel like how much do you feel in all your different bones and joints and all the different things that got repaired? Yeah. Yeah. It's just lots of scar tissue to work through all the time. It's what's great is like it's not any one spot. It's like it moves around. You know, even if you're not injured, it's like if you just twist your leg wrong and then it goes up into your hip and then it's in your shoulder, it moves around your body kind of.

It moves it around. So you just kind of stay on top of it. And there's always something to work through, you know, in your body, you know.

And it's just, you know, look, I already have to do it anyway. I'm 54. I'm going to have to take care of my health. And I just have to make it a very central part of my life. And so now do you have full range of motion, full mobility? Everything is back to normal? I don't know what normal is, you know. I'm going to be, you know, I feel like I'm maybe 110% just because spiritually, mentally, I'm so much better. I got so many gifts from dying and coming back that...

Yeah, I'm 150%. My body will always be – look, my body is aging. So I have to fight against age. Well, recovery is age reversing. It's the same stuff that people are doing just to reverse age. I just do it just because it's my recovery and I have to for the rest of my life just to prevent inflammation and discomfort and swelling, things like that.

So when you have so many broken bones and so many broken joints, what is the recovery like? Like how did they even get you moving again? Day by day. Day by day. Yeah, instantly. As soon as I got home from the hospital, yeah, PT there and working to just move, keep things moving. You have to. Otherwise you lose it. You'll lock up or you lose it. Seeing you walk around today in the studio, I would have no idea. Yeah.

Yeah. You look totally normal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's great. It takes a lot of work, and it's still working. I was having to stretch in your studio. I have to move quite a bit so I don't lock up. After a good night's sleep, it's like, eh, you could be a little stiff in the morning, and I have to do some stretches and things like that. But I think if I didn't get in the accident in 54, I'd probably have to do it anyway. Right. So it feels good to have to force the stretching, I think.

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drinkag1.com slash joerogan to claim this special offer. That's drinkag1.com slash joerogan. And so just day by day, so you're completely bedridden initially. Yeah. And how long does it take before you can sit up? I don't know. I don't know. It's pretty, it moved pretty quick. Randomly with the punctured lung and all this broke, the shoulder, the collarbone dislocation, all this stuff, that healed pretty quickly. Yeah.

But that doesn't require gravity and force under your legs, like your legs have to take, right? So that took a little bit longer, the legs, both ankles, right? Those are under trauma and plates in those.

You know, this is all a pipe, essentially, a piece of rebar, my whole lower leg. So that took a little bit longer. But the ribs, ironically, it was only painful for, I feel like, a couple weeks. I also had these, like, plastic suitcases for my lungs because they had to let it bleed out and this stuff was going in. I don't know what goop was in that thing, but I had to carry those things around for a while. Once I got rid of those, I was kind of sitting up a bit more and –

I felt good once I was kind of sitting up. But there's still, as you can imagine, so much trauma, so many places. But I think the longest was really getting up to stand up, to walk, to get all your joints to work properly again, to relearn to walk, relearn to move because you really kind of have to. A lot of atrophy, as you can imagine, that happens. But I was standing up and moving around. I got into a chair probably by February after like three weeks,

And the more I can move, the faster you heal. You're getting more blood flow. You're getting your body to work better. Help with my attitude and will to get out and sit up. All the things. Each of these things are like milestones. And I would just like, yeah. And then move forward to the next thing and set a goal for myself. Even if it was just like to...

sit up and like turn or I didn't have to set such big to reach too far to keep my confidence high so because I keep reaching these goals and just kept going and going going and I find myself again it's 24 hours a day so what do I have to do today well I don't even have to ask it's gonna get better

And, you know, it just kept going. And whatever thing, and there's so many things to attack to get better, it's like I never got bored. I always had all these bands and stuff. I remember being in a wheelchair and I'd wrap it around like this desk and I'd be like a leg press. You know, all these interesting ways to try to strengthen my body and get better. Whatever wasn't, you know, anything that would work, I would do it. I'd say no to nothing, say yes to everything, and let's try it. Let's do it.

Took in everything. Took in everything. You know, they say that is one of the more difficult things with stroke victims is the will to do the exercises to force yourself to recover. Yeah. Because so many people just they have never done that before. They've never pushed themselves before. They don't. And there's this tendency to just kind of give up. Some people have. Yeah. Yeah.

It's part of the reason why I wrote the book is maybe people – because it's a lonely place where people are struggling in recovery and when it's a lifetime recovery too. I hope they can find something they can grab onto. Like if this guy can overcome this, I can get out of my own way here and maybe not – maybe think of it a little differently. The only thing we have control of ever in life and perpetuity is our perspective. So –

I could easily just go be victimized and cry about it and like, oh, my career is over. It's not even part of the narrative. It's not even in the conversation. It's like I'm getting better every day for the rest of my life. That's it. Wow. There's only one way to go. What's the alternative, Joe? What is the alternative? I keep saying that to my wife. What's the alternative? I'm not going to stumble around through life. I wasn't brought back here just to suffer. That's not happening.

I'd say, unplug the machine. I'm done. I'm out of here. It's way better than being dead. You know what I mean? I'm not going to come back and just waddle and limp my way through life. It's not going to happen. What's crazy is if you didn't approach it like that, you probably wouldn't be able to walk. Correct. Correct. Yeah, because there have been a lot of people that have been gravely injured that never come back. Yeah. Yeah. You have to push it, right? Anything that's in your life for excellence, you have to obsess at it and risk everything for it.

You have to or it's not going to happen. No one's going to do it for you. But what else are you going to do? Yeah. You know what I mean? Again, like I said, what's the alternative? Yeah, this sucks, but like so does a cold plunge and so does this and so does that and so does that. You've got to really test. We've got to test our bodies, our limits to really have real growth and especially in recovery. You have to. What else are you going to do, man? You're going to take pills? Right. That was, again, one of the harder things worse than the accident as well is getting off Oxycontin.

And I got off pretty quickly. And that's gnarly stuff, man. I'm glad it was there for the pain for me. But I wanted to get off it as soon as possible because it's highly, highly addictive. And coming off that stuff was gnarly. It's so hard. And you have a really strong will. And some people don't. I know. And they put all people on that stuff. It's crazy, dude. Ironically, I was supposed to be doing a movie about...

The Sackler family. Wow. Yeah, yeah. But it was supposed to happen like literally that April or just that spring. Yeah.

Obviously that got canceled because I had to take Oxycontin to kind of get by. But then I had to get off that stuff real quick. It was really interesting too how people treated that drug. Everyone was monitoring, counting the pills. It was a half a thing or this or that. Everyone was on it. Like, dude, you treat me like I'm some sort of drug addict. Don't give me this stuff. I don't want it. Jesus Christ, it's terrible. But it's pretty powerful, powerful stuff.

And I don't ever blame sort of the drug. I just think sort of how maybe it's free to use and it's even supported in school systems. And, you know, that family kind of got away with a lot of stuff to promote that stuff. To put it mildly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a whole nother. You've seen Peter Berg's thing on Netflix, Painkiller. Have you seen that?

It's a docudrama documentary. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Matthew Broderick. It's gnarly, man. Gnarly. Gnarly. Yeah, that's an evil family. Yeah. What they did to people and just support the idea that, you know, hey, you could just be on this and you don't have any pain. Don't worry about it. And it's not even addictive. Yeah. Just...

Yeah, it's the knowing part and then double downing and selling it and really getting it out there. And promoting it as a thing that you could be on forever, which is just insane. So you're on it, and how long did you have to be on it for? I, again, always working to get off of it. And I think maybe it was around, if I got home on January 13th, Friday the 13th,

And I think it was probably less than a month, probably like beginning of February, because I had all my molars and stuff got pushed in. So my mouth's a hot mess. My jaw's broken. But I'd have night terrors, as you would, being awake through that trauma. And I bit down and the tooth was just in a certain spot and just cracked my molar. And it goes down to the nerve and that. I'm like, oh, I feel that pain.

But I'm on all this Oxycontin. I don't feel, hmm, maybe I don't need to be on that shit. So I had to go get that emergency extraction and get a post put in on my back molar. And I said, well, I'm going to take it one more time just for the tooth pain or whatever, even what the dentist gave me. I think I took the dentist stuff, whatever that was.

And cold turkey off Oxycontin and Gabby Penton. Cold turkey. Yeah, I didn't know. You didn't know how hard it would be? Oh, no. I would just show Adam and I don't really listen. I don't listen to the doctors. So, yeah, so I started crying for about three and a half days straight.

Even during my PT, I'm just like, not that I'm even sad, but like full crocodile tears, just tears, tears, 24 hours a day, right? Just going. I couldn't stop crying. And I was shivering. So this is all just withdrawal? Withdrawal, yeah. I wasn't thinking anything other than like, why am I crying? I didn't know it was withdrawal. Because my mind's not there. My mind's in recovery and getting off this stuff and focusing on recovery.

holding my body up it takes just a lot of mental acuity to just exist right so i wasn't thinking that yeah of course i look back on it's like of course i'm coming off the heroin so yeah and then so i i call my sister and thing i'm like i don't know why i'm crying i can't stop crying i was like let's call it i had these different doctors that we'd zoom call with when i was at home

And so we called the pain management doctor. And she's like, look, I told him, he's like, what are you doing? You got to taper off that. It takes like two weeks at least. You can't just cold turkey. It's no wonder you're feeling all cold and all this stuff because that's all nerve stuff. So I started feeling gravity. I started feeling temperature. I started feeling everything. It was like on fire, right? So-

Why did you make the decision to go cold turkey? Because I didn't want – I don't like the feeling of being on pain meds. I don't like – I want to have my mind. I was always using humor to find my sobriety. If I could land a joke, that means I'm reading the room and I'm hitting the timing right, whatever it is. So I wanted my – I needed my mind. I needed my wit. I needed my will to recover. I needed sleep and I needed my brain. And the drugs –

kind of numb my brain, as they would, right? As they numb your whole body. So I just wanted off of them. And I don't like how I feel. You feel muddy. Yeah. And I just didn't like the feeling. You know, it came with a price, but...

I got the okay to like take a little fiber of oxy to sleep on if you needed to mitigate some pain just so I could sleep. I'm like, okay, maybe I'll do that if it happens. And I did once or twice or three times maybe after that moment. But I got through it and I got off it. But I got off it because I cracked that tooth and that I felt pain. Like that is like that's not going to let me sleep at all. It's a heartbeat in my brain. My face is just like throbbing right as you would.

For anybody. So I said like, oh, then I don't need to take the pain meds. So that was my excuse to get off the pain meds. Right. Because if you're feeling pain and you're on the pain meds. Yeah. I would have been on that shit much longer if I didn't crack that tooth. Because I wouldn't have the will to say like, oh, let's get off this stuff. Right. But it took that. I'm like, okay, well, I don't need it. I had knee surgery in 93 and they gave me something. It was either Percocet or Vicodin. I don't remember what it was. And I took it one time.

And I felt so bad. I felt so stupid. I remember being in my apartment in New York just feeling so dumb and just thinking I'd rather be in pain. And so one day, I took it one day, and I'm like, that's it. I'm done. And then I sold it. I sold my pills to this guy Jeff at the pool hall. It was this dirtbag guy that I used to hang out with at the pool hall. He had a bandana and long hair. He was a hippie. He always sold drugs.

And I sold them to him. He's like, I'll take it. What do you got? Yeah, what do you got? And then I had surgery again. I've had a bunch of different surgeries for jujitsu injuries and martial arts injuries. But the second time I had surgery on my knee –

I had a knee reconstruction again on my other knee in 2003. I didn't dig anything. I'm just like, I don't want nothing. I'm just going to just deal with it. And it was okay. Yeah. Maybe anti-inflammatory or something. I didn't even take that stuff because I don't think that's good for you either. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I mean, it's...

You're going to be in pain no matter what. It's just going to dull it a little bit. I'd rather feel it all. I agree. Just get accustomed to it and deal with it. Yeah. That was like back when I – even when I had my wisdom teeth pulled out when I was like 20 or something. Yeah.

You know, that's pretty gnarly surgery, right? And they give you like a codeine or something. I just puked on that and said, no way. Took one pill and I never took it. Didn't sell it to anybody. Isn't it astonishing that some people like it? Yeah. People party on it. They'll go drinking. I just – it's just the opposite for me. I just can't. It's just my body doesn't agree with it. I just –

And I'm glad I don't like it. I had a friend of mine who was a musician, and he would write all his music on Vicodins. And I was like...

How do you do that, man? Like I took it, whatever it was that I took. I can't remember which one it was, but I felt like a moron. I just felt like I had like 20 percent of my brain. Yeah. And it was just this dull, like wet cotton stuffed in my head. Yeah. But I mean, I guess maybe it's just like different biology. Maybe different people react to it differently. For sure. For sure.

It wasn't for me. Yeah, I agree. So how long did it take for the withdrawal to subside? By the time I got to the Zoom with the pain management doctor, he said, like, well, don't do that. You should taper off. Like, well, I'm already off it now. I'm like, I've come off the crying train, especially because he also made sense of it for me. It's like day four by the time I talked to him and

It just helped me make sense of why I was feeling the way I was feeling because it felt like a setback. Right. Because there are setbacks in recovery, but this felt like a real setback. I couldn't grab of why. And I'm pretty in tune with my body and my emotions and my everything. And I just couldn't grab why I was...

when it's so obvious yeah but then you know i don't i'm not the one really administering this stuff my mom just gave me the pill and doing peptide injections for me and you know rebirthing me you know taking care of me so peptides were you're on oh man if i look back i don't know i was getting three three um mls there's three loads and they're all mixed up so as you would um

Probably a lot of the same ones that I'm on now that I continue. And I rotate in and out of different ones. BBC 157. BBC 157. TV 500. Amazon. Yeah, all those. AOD and MOTC. I had to do a lot of blood work. My hemoglobin was at two. Whoa. Yeah. That was what it was going back to work. Whoa. Back to Mayor Kingstown. Crazy. Yeah. It's like the blood of a dead man, essentially. I just got no energy. So then I started really working with...

all my blood panels, big, giant, wide, 16-vial blood panels. And that started to be my new course of recovery, of a cellular way, in a blood way. And that's where I really started to get strong. I was moving around. I was mobile. All the bones are healed. By this time, it's like a year's gone by. But now I started working on cellular and blood health and

That's when I got to, like, my skin started to look great. Because your blood tells you what your body's producing and not producing, right? So that was a great report card or barometer of where I was at, why I'm not, you know, where my mitochondrial levels are at, anything was at. So it was a really, really great part of my recovery. And that's what I'll continue to do and still continue to do today. Boxing's biggest weekend is here, and DraftKings Sportsbook is bringing the heat.

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That must have helped a lot. Yeah. What it did for me, it's not something – I don't think there's many things in my recovery that you do that feel good. It just doesn't make you feel as shitty. Right. Right. It's like you're building a mountain one layer of pain at a time. Yeah. So – but hyperbaric is great. It helps with lactic acid when you're working out. As you know, it's all the oxygen you put in your body is a great necessity. It's a –

Again, they're the ones that are even age-reversing. It's also disease-preventative. It's amazing. I got one that was... You could sit in and do multiple things. I can't just sit there for an hour and a half in the chamber and like...

I'll go crazy. I have a busy brain, you know. And so I get a computer or whatever, email, whatever I can do to kind of continue to do it, to make it a part of my life. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. And then I go into like a red light bed, a high-powered red light infrared bed. Then it moves all that oxygen through my body even more so and gets deeper into the tissue. It's amazing. Yeah, I use both of those things.

Yeah, those are huge parts of my life. Yeah, but I would imagine for something like what you went through, it's imperative. Yeah, yeah, for tissue recovery and, oh, man, huge, huge, huge. Faster for repair. And so a year later, you're walking around. Yeah, I was walking by. My daughter's birthday was March 28th. So I guess a few months later, I was walking, but it was assisted, very assisted week walking with Cain or a walker.

So that had to be amazing. Yeah, yeah. And then I was – by the summertime, I stopped doing recovery.

The intense 24-hour day recovery. I would do like a 12-hour day recovery and then go walk in the sand in Lake Tahoe. Lake Tahoe is the world's biggest cold plunge. It's a freezing-ass lake. So I just go dip my legs in that lake, walk in the sand. It's great for instability in your ankles, your joints, your hips. And I would just do that kind of stuff. Even ride a jet ski. I was riding a jet ski in June. Wow.

Yeah, taking it easy and not doing anything nice, but just living life. You know how good that is for your mental acuity, your spirit, your emotional body, and all that stuff. So I was out in the sunshine getting vitamin D. I was in nature. I was with friends. I could do life stuff. I'm back in life stuff. That's a great confidence builder. So I kept trying to do those things. And then, of course, I have to go back into all the recovery stuff that I always do. Yeah.

It's happy I can do it. What does the cold water feel like with, like, I mean, you have a rod through your tibia. Yeah, the cold water, that's not the issue. It's when it's cold weather. Yeah. Like anybody, you stiffer, your blood slows and all that stuff. So it doesn't help. I need circulation in my joints. Tendons don't get a lot of blood flow. I really got to work at that.

getting blood flow in these joints. Otherwise, they'll stiffen. And I'm just slower going. Everything just feels a little bit more robotic. What did they have to do to you? But I think that's, before injury, it's that for anybody, right? Also, elevation. I mean, 8,000 feet elevation in Tahoe. So all those things aren't really kind of helping to my recovery, but my body will respond in those oxygen-depleted environments and all that stuff. So maybe it did help. Maybe it didn't. I don't know. But I did most of my initial recovery in L.A.,

And then when I could, I got out to Tahoe to be in my sort of happy place in nature. Did they have to reconstruct your knees? Did you? No, no, none of that. There was cracks in my ankles and my foot spun around a handful of times. There was a spiral fracture in my leg. So they had to hit a rod down into my knee and they had to screw it, screw it, you know, with plates and all that stuff. So.

I didn't sure I just moved those things. So I don't know. There's not wasn't full like reconstruction, like people get a new knee or a new hip. It was just a lot of breaks. My pelvic broke, broke in three spots, my hips. Oh, you know, but you don't fix that. You even said you broke your asshole. I'm like, is that what you say as a doctor? Is that how you say it? Come on. I think there's another word for everything.

I think he was trying to make me laugh, and I did. And Eric makes you laugh. He's like, you broke everything, Jeremy. You even broke your ass. I'm like, all right. That's great. Wow. Wow. So you've gone through the 12-hour – now you're in like this 12-hour day recovery. Yeah, so like summertime. Yeah. So I got to do like just life stuff. And that was really my first shot at allowing myself to think that there's a future.

And I'm not going to live a life of full-time recovery for the rest of my life. Oh, I can actually go do some other things that I enjoy doing with people in kind of a normal way. So I was – without it came, without anything by the time – by June and summer came around. So I'm moving around.

That's pretty nice.

Because I allow myself to push hard, hard, hard, hard. I listen to my body. Body says, fuck off. I'm like, all right, I'll chill out for a second and then keep going. But I got to live life and that was so rewarding to my spirit and my confidence, which you need in those kind of dire times and I keep going. And then like I said, when we got to getting back to work because I got so ready, ready

Maybe I'm down to like four hours a day of recovery by the end of that first year. I'm like, I'm going to go back to work. I need to get back out into the world and use life as my recovery and still only spend four hours a day on hyperbaric chamber, red light, whatever the heck I could do to mix it all up. It's a bunch of different stuff.

A lot of heat, a lot of vibration, power plate stuff. That was really great for numbing the nerve endings, my back of my knees, back of my ankles, that kind of stuff. I don't know if you ever used that stuff for... No. What are you doing? I used to have this thing. God, what was it called? It was a thing you stand on. It's like it would shake you with different vibrations. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

and it would slow it down and make it fast. Just like that. Yeah, and that really was great for numbing the back of my knees that really still ache and back of my ankles just so it's not quite so sensitive.

I don't know if it floods the nerve endings with blood or whatever the heck it does, but it just kind of numbs it out. And I can go to sleep on it. It's great. It's beautiful. I used to have one of those at my house in L.A. I don't even remember what it's called now. It was just some machine. It had a bunch of different programs. Yeah, yeah. It's PowerPlate. It's probably a PowerPlate. Well, PowerPlate, I think, is the one that you work out on. You can. Yeah, yeah. This one was a little different. This one was just – it would just shake you at a bunch of different frequencies. Oh, interesting. You would stand on it, and it was supposed to –

just do a bunch of stuff for your, your hormones and endocrine system and all sorts of different stuff just by the vibration. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It helps me a lot.

Interesting. For sure. And are you doing sauna and stuff like that as well? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I usually use just the red light bed. It's shaped like a coffin or like a chanting bed one. It's just as effective, I think, as you're going to the sauna. It doesn't take so long to heat up or anything. You just get in that thing and cook.

It's amazing. And it's amazing that even like an LED light like that or infrared light could warm you up so much. But it's intense. I love it. And then after a while, do you start lifting weights? Yeah, yeah. I started training as soon as I got the – when I started doing blood work because my hormone, my testosterone was at 200. My hemoglobin was at two. Everything was – Your body is just wrecked. Oh, it's wrecked. And I'm going back to work.

So I had to attack why I was falling asleep during workouts that I'm trying to do or whatever. They only scheduled me maybe six hours a day on set because I fall asleep in the middle of a scene. Oh, my God. They're like, who's going to wake that fucker up? I'm like...

Oh, man. So, yeah, so I had to really work on that. And once I got – I think it was really the testosterone. Once I got that level to like 700, 800 constantly, then I had more energy. And that allowed me more energy in the gym. And once I had that, that got me more energy. So it just started feeding upon itself. I was doing blood panels every week. And I just saw progress, progress, progress. And then I just –

Started lifting and I had so much energy and I felt better the more I lifted and moved and stretched and I just get it just kept compiling just like most things in life and it got easier like most things with Oxygen chamber that's better when you compile on it same with red light stuff nothing nothing no one time at anything is gonna do anything But if you do it often enough and make it a central part of your life, it's like oh I was on fire It's great. I started running and you can run now. Yeah. Yeah Wow. Yeah for distance. I

Yeah, I mean, I don't know where I'm running to. I was never a distance guy. I was always a sprinter, right? I was a sprinter from high school and college. Does it hurt when you run? It feels like if you're... If you've ever been in a car and you're on the freeway and it has a misalignment or it's a little shaky, or you've got a flat tire, it feels like I've got four flat tires when I'm running. It looks great. It looks like, oh, this guy's no problem with this guy. Just boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. And it feels like...

the wheels are going to fall off. Wow. Mentally or something. It just feels like it's... Because it's a lot of pressure to put on all these joints, right? I haven't sprinted really much in a while. I haven't really worked on that. I've been working on other things, you know, blood and cells and that kind of stuff. So, I mean, sprinting is not, you know... What am I doing? What am I going to do? Sprint? 54, for God's sakes. Maybe like for, you know, because...

Because you do stunts in movies and maybe at some point I'll have to sprint. I don't know. Or maybe not. Maybe just don't do that shit, you know?

Yeah, well, maybe you can, though. Sure I can. I think you can. I already have. I believe it. I just don't know if I want to make that a central part of the acting experience. Well, that would be an absolutely phenomenal turnaround to go from where you were to going back to action films. Yeah, yeah, to go play Hawkeye or something. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Or Born Identity. Yeah, that's tough. That would be a tough one. That was in excellent shape for that one.

That would be a challenge. Yeah, I would imagine. I don't know. Do I want to tax my body? I don't know.

Probably should. Is it taxing your body or is it strengthening your body? Yeah, I don't know. This is the question. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. How many miles can you get on this stuff, right? On titanium. I think it's forever. I think it's permanent. I mean, everything you have just reinforces the recovery of the bones, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you just have a plate there that just keeps the bones in order. Yep. And it's essentially— I mean, all the titanium in my body is useless at this point.

It did its job and the bone's grown. So it just stays there now. Is there an argument that the titanium hinders you at all? Well, I mean it is foreign metal in your body. It's not rejecting it, but there is a point where it could. Just like allergies, you don't get allergies sometimes for 40 years in your life and all of a sudden I'm allergic to down. It could reject it. Who knows? You never know.

I'll cross that bridge. I'm worried about today. I'm here with you. I'll worry about that shit later. It's just so impressive. Yeah, it really is. It really is amazing. Yeah. Because at any other time in history, you're dead. Yeah, yeah. Any other time in history. Oh, yeah. 20 years ago, you're dead. Conor. Yeah. You're a Conor. 20 years ago. It's insane, right? It's amazing. It's amazing. What a great blessing to have.

All those people that even the EMTs and all the people that were there, the life-saving stuff, they did all this stuff that they had to do, man. There's so much.

And I'm really known in that community, especially in the EMTs and all that sort of stuff. I have a lot of firefighter friends and all that stuff. So it's just like a – you're just getting a little extra juice and love from these people. Like I knew – one of my best friends is a firefighter in that area, Jesse, and he's just retired. He got the phone call from his buddy who had to like stab my chest and release the pressure from the lung and da-da-da, like on the ice. I'm like – and he's the one that says, look, dude, Jesse, Jeremy is in –

we did the best we could, dude. You don't want to get the hospital. Wow. And that's like code for like, he's gone. Yeah. Yeah. But I mean, but they were like, you know, I talked to him all later. I saw every nurse. I saw every doctor. I went by every ENT, even the pilot that flew me up there and just had to give everyone the biggest squeeze and apologize if I was a pain in the ass or whatever it was, man. Um, it's that, uh,

reminds me of just why i'm back anyway and what the only thing that you take with you is love yeah the beginning of the audiobook is your daughter yeah yeah that was the one i had the hardest time with yeah yeah because it's can you imagine yeah i can't i can't imagine you know dude

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Does this, I mean, it must forever change your perspective on life because you've crossed back. Yeah. Well, it just made it easier. It's ripped away all the white noise, things I gave credence to, things I gave value to. It's fucking meaningless. Bullshit. Bullshit. All the bullshit. Bullshit is gone. Yeah. And I just don't. Sadly, I'm in a spinning rock with people and capitalism and stuff. I just don't feel like I belong. But I do.

A lot of times I just don't feel like I fit into how things work or seem to work down there. Or I just don't do things I don't give value to. I only do things that are valuable in my life. That's it.

That is it. I do nothing else. It is amazing how much time and energy people put into things that ultimately at the end of the life, they're not valuable. They don't mean anything. And they occupy most of your thinking. That's right. Or even your time or your career. Right? People do careers that they fucking hate. Yeah. Or they're in a marriage they fucking despise. All this stuff is spending too much time doing what? Why? Why? Why?

Because of fear. Because of fear, you get trapped and it's too difficult to get out. And, you know, they get too deep and buried into some place that they get, I don't know, paint themselves on a corner. You know, it's quite sad. Yeah. You know? It is sad. But it's also, I mean, there's an amazing example that you can shine to the rest of the world that maybe people don't have to go through what you went through to realize that

that most of what you're thinking about all day, especially if you're one of those people that's wrapped up in social media, most of the things you're thinking about all day are just nonsense. Just total nonsense that's stealing your life. Yeah. I mean, it's one of the reasons why I wrote the book is I hope there's things that I learned and the gifts that I received from passing and coming back and overcoming huge obstacles. And a lot of people can identify with suffering and struggle.

It doesn't have to be a physical struggle, but it's a certain way to think and perspective to work your way through it because it is a lonely place. And I think there's something beautiful about the narrative of an author to a reader or even just audio, which is even more intense because you get the 911 call and it's kind of dramatic in that sense. But it's pretty intimate.

And I think you can really move the needle for somebody. The more open and honest and vulnerable I am in sharing the narrative, the maybe more I have a chance at connecting with the reader or listener. - No doubt. The thing is about when you're in the middle of a struggle, it never seems like you're gonna get out of it. - Yeah. - And you're trapped. - Yeah, yeah. - You feel it, and it's so difficult for people to trust the process or to trust that it will get better.

And this is unfortunately why a lot of people end their lives because they do not think it's going to get better. And you hear it from so many people that almost took their life or failed when they tried to take their life and now realize, oh, my God, I was so wrong. It does get better. I am better. Everything's better. And I just didn't see the light. I didn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I thought there was –

There's just nothing but this feeling that I couldn't endure. Yeah. That hopelessness? Yeah. That weighs heavy, doesn't it? Yeah.

You can't afford that. You can't give that power. You can't give that power. You can't. I think anybody can sink into that, right? Anybody can sink into that. Anybody can sink into that. It's just so hard for people that have never gone through something before. If your life has been really easy and then all of a sudden you're tasked with one of the most difficult burdens ever, overcoming the fear and the feeling of wanting to end life because you can't take it.

I've been there. I mean, Jesus. Look, I think people need to suffer. It is an actual requirement of life. It is the fiber, the DNA of love. Real love and true love and perpetuity can't exist without suffering.

It's impossible. But you don't appreciate it. Yeah, you have to have suffering. And suffering doesn't have to be looked at in a negative thing. It could be looked at as a beautiful thing. It's where real love comes out of. All my suffering, there was real love in there. Everyone around me just in this recovery or in a loss I may have had from an uncle or a grandparent or whatever. There's real love that comes in that suffering, even though it can be a lonely experience.

I mean, I look at it that way and not as a negative, terrible thing because it's just temporary. And it's so counterintuitive, though. What's that? It's counterintuitive. In a negative term of it, right? But we all have to suffer, right? I mean, it's part of the human experience, right? It's the Joe Rogan experience. Yeah.

I'm not suffering. I'm having a great time with you. But, you know, I don't think people welcome that or allow that to happen in their lives and let it be okay. That the suffering that we suffer at the hard times are the building blocks to our

To who we are. It builds resilience. Yeah. It builds character. Yeah, yeah. It builds all those things. Yeah. I remember one time, I mean, this is a minor suffering in comparison, but one time I went on this hunting trip on Prince of Wales Island, which rains like 350 days a year. And so we were up there for a week just getting drenched in rain.

and you're camping, so you're in a tent, and you think, "Oh, well, I'll be dry in the tent." You're not dry in the tent. There's no such thing as dry. I remember I turned my headlamp on in the tent once 'cause I had to pee, and I was gonna step out of the tent to go to the bathroom in the rain.

And when I pressed the headlamp inside my tent, all I saw inside the tent was water vapor. It was just filled with moisture. There was just water, like droplets, all flying around inside the tent. I'm like, oh, my God. You're never going to be dry. There's no dry. And it was just miserable but fun. I was with good friends. We had a good time. Then I came back to L.A.,

uh you know a week later and i remember i called my friend steve vernella i called because he's the one who took me on the trip and i said dude it's sunny out and i've never appreciated the sun like this before yeah i've i'm like i'm at a level of happiness that i don't think i've ever felt before i'm just sitting outside with my eyes closed just taking the sun it was

Yeah. LA is always sunny. Yeah. You get so used to it. Yeah. It's like you're a trust fund kid, you know, like who can't appreciate money. Right. Because you've always had it. It doesn't mean anything to you. But now all of a sudden going just –

being drenched for seven days and being in that sun, I was like, ah. And then it made me realize, like, oh, you need to suffer. You need to suffer or you're never going to appreciate this life. And either you voluntarily suffer or you will suffer involuntarily because life, regular life will make you suffer. Yeah, very true. It seems sort of anti-human to want to do something to make yourself suffer, right? It doesn't seem very sort of...

characteristics of, we always want to take the fastest route to get somewhere. It's just innate in kind of human nature to do that, sadly. And that leads to a life of complacency and mediocrity. Well, if you look at life today, and if you look at society today, we have unprecedented levels of depression and unprecedented levels of anxiety and unhappiness. Yet, it's probably the safest time ever.

And it's probably the easiest time ever. It's so easy that poor people are fat.

That's how easy it is. Like that's never been the case. All throughout history, poor people were starving and poor people are fat now. Like that's how easy it is to live, just to exist. So, I mean, not saying that being poor is easy. It's certainly not. This is certainly a struggle, but it's way easier than starving to death. Like this is like an unprecedented easy time. And because of that,

And because there's this narrative that people have to constantly seek comfort, to seek vacation and relaxation and retirement and all that bullshit. And so that's in your head. And there's this softness to existence. And so everything that comes your way is overwhelming. Somebody said this once, and it's like a great quote that I remember. The worst thing that's ever happened to you is the worst thing that's ever happened to you, regardless of how small that is.

So if the worst thing that's ever happened to you is like – I remember my girlfriend broke up with me when I was 18. And I was like, oh, I couldn't believe it. I thought I was going to be with her forever. I was so sad. Yeah. And then I think back. Oh, my God. That was the best thing that ever happened. She was a nightmare. But back then I thought – I was probably a nightmare too. But back then I thought like life was over, right? Yeah, of course. But you have to get through that in order to appreciate life, to really appreciate life. Yeah.

We have this bizarre narrative in our head that you shouldn't suffer. I know.

Where does that come from? I can't know because it used to be so difficult to live Because and so you would try to find a time where it wasn't difficult And so then it became the thing that everybody focused on focused on chilling relaxing Yeah, you know and the people that I know that don't do anything and don't take any chances and don't take any risks and don't exercise and just seek comfort are the most miserable Anxiety ridden people I know that's yeah that's

Pretty much dead inside, right? Yeah. That's complacency. That's the definition of complacency in my mind. But again, it's counterintuitive, right? Yeah, exactly. Because you think comfort is easy, it's relaxing, it's nice. Yeah. But it's only relaxing if you've earned it. Yeah. Yeah. Correct. You've got to get through something in order to appreciate just chilling on the couch. Yep. So that's why I always do – I have to fight my – I have to trick my own behavior into

into doing things I don't want to do all the time. If I don't want to do it, I'm like, oh, I'm going to do it. Don't even think about it. Just go do it. Right. Because I know the lazy mind just wants to like, oh, yeah, let me just skip the gym today or let me not do PT today or whatever the heck it is. I don't want to get poked and prodded. No, just do it. Just go do it. The thing you don't want to do is the thing you probably should be doing. Almost always. Yeah, and that's why I pretty much always just do that.

It gets me out of my way, out of complacency, just like laziness. It doesn't exist because I do the opposite of what I want to do. Well, that's why you're happy. And that's why I'm so full of joy, dude. I'm so happy. I've never been happier, more connected to humans, more connected to my daughter, more connected to myself, more centered in my spirit, where I am right now, where I'll go, where I'll be, where I always am and always have been.

It's beautiful, man. It's beautiful.

You got to conquer your inner bitch. You do, man. That's what it is. There's an inner bitch inside of everyone that's like, no, let's just do nothing. You got to go shut the fuck up. You have to have like two minds. Yeah. Well, you got to surround yourself with others too that can inspire you too, right? So then you do things as a – even as you and I go work out and do stuff, it's a lot easier than going to the gym by yourself, right? Because we are social creatures. So let's do things that –

like I'm doing, like I'm building a whole rehab recovery center at my house. Like, well, maybe I kind of open this to the public and make, make this a communal, cool thing. So everyone has access to this stuff. And I'm still considering doing that, but like,

Just make it a place to be and hang so everyone can do it and it's not just me. Right, right, right. Separating myself from other people, whatever it might be in my life. I try to find ways to make it a communal thing so it just makes it easier to continue this in perpetuity. That's another counterintuitive thing. It's like you have to understand how important community is. It's like a vitamin. Yeah.

Yeah, big time. It really is. Yeah. Well, that's a shared experience, too, that comes with that. Negative or positive, in the tent with your friends. And if you're alone and doing that, right, it's, you have no one to share that misery with. But at least you shared that experience with somebody. You're like, dude, I never thought I'd love the sun so much. Remember when we were fucking eating ass? It was

Just sucking on the rainwater in that tent. But it's like even a negative experience can be, but it's shared. It's still quite beautiful. And it's a map, a milestone, a part of your life that uses barometer to change your or appreciate the sun more or whatever it might be. So those shared experiences I think are invaluable. It's the only thing I chase in my life is that. For people that ever want to start a fire when everything's wet, Fritos. Fritos.

You know, little Fritos, little bags of Fritos. Those little motherfuckers are so toxic that if you light those things, they're like little fire starters. No way. Yeah, man. Fritos are crazy.

are crazy flammable. They stay lit for a long-ass time because they're just soaked with oil. Oil, yeah. Yeah, like whatever oil, whatever horrible fucking seed oil, whatever fucking industrial lubricant those fucking things are made out of. But when you light that, they're essentially some sort of a corn byproduct and oil. Oh, right, right. And so if you light those fuckers on fire and then you get some semi-dry sticks...

and light them, light those. And we started one fire one day because one day it didn't rain. So that one day it didn't rain. Me and my friend Brian Callen, we were determined to start a fire. And so we just found like the driest possible, well, nothing was dry, but driest possible sticks and twigs and started it and then dried some logs out. And they were hissing and steam was coming off them as we were lighting it. But Fritos. Fritos are an amazing fire starter. Yeah.

Kind of crazy. That's crazy. Makes you think about eating though. I was just going to say, you guys are about to eat this shit? Yeah. Which brings me to another question. Like how much did you alter your diet after all this? Because I would imagine like anything that causes inflammation then becomes an issue. Yeah. I didn't go down so much that route. I've always eaten pretty good. Yeah.

I didn't, it didn't go into like things that I haven't gone into that even yet to like, Oh, what causes inflammation? What, what, what am I eating? That does that. I, I haven't really gotten that far into it yet. I'm still, I'm sure I will, but, or I know there was a doctor who's also helped me stuff and have people cook, prepare some certain things for me, but I don't, couldn't tell you what causes inflammation that I put in my mouth. Um, could not, I mean, maybe if I have wine probably does. Yeah. Alcohol does for sure. Yeah. Yeah. Um,

But, again, I don't do – I really am good at moderating all things, all things good and bad. So my body has a chance to sort of exist and it's not forced too many supplements, too many peptides, too many anything. Right. All good stuff I sort of just moderate. Right. So once I got my blood right – because I was like 205 pounds. I'd never been more than a buck 65. Right.

And it's just all this surgery weight and all this stuff, and it's hard to get off when you have a – your hemoglobin is two. Right. And it's that new energy. Also, you probably have to eat a lot too because your body needs calories in order to help you recover. That and proteins too. Protein. Yeah, and also it's difficult to eat because, again, my molars got pushed in. It's hard to chew. I look fine, but to chew on a steak and asparagus thing, it's like this tough –

It's tough for me to get through. Still to this day or no? Yeah, it'll be forever. I can't fix it. If I start to move those molars again, they'll probably fall out. Oh, wow. Yeah, and I'd rather keep them and just be uncomfortable. So they just got pushed in. Yeah, this side. Yeah, it's usually sort of like just like an arc to your thing. So my bite just kind of arcs and then goes straight back. Oh, wow. Yeah, all these got pushed in and broke the jaw three times here. And then just breaking the jaw, it doesn't ever really heal right.

So biting down is quite – it's annoying. It's full chaos in my mouth, but I don't bitch about it. I just sort of accept what it is. It could have been so much worse. It could have been so much worse. I have on my teeth. I have a smile. It's great. I feel great. I'm walking and breathing and I have –

Nothing but love and joy in my life. So, you know, who cares about what happens to my mouth, man? Right. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah. No, that's, it's. This episode is brought to you by Gold Belly. Gold Belly is where you can order some of the best food in the country shipped for free just in time for Mother's Day. Gold Belly will ship gift-worthy cakes.

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It's just amazing how these stories can be so inspirational for other people too, which is why I'm really glad you wrote your book. Because these stories, like autobiographies, especially of people that you admire, that you've seen in movies before, it's like those struggles, they're so real. And when someone's going through something themselves and they can turn to your book...

It can give them a lot. It's fuel for people. It really is. Yeah. For me as well. I mean I resisted writing it because I still don't know how or why it can and will inspire people. I can only make assumptions and I think it's so particular to the actual reader and the person. So I can never sort of pontificate on how or why it's important or not. But it is like – it was an achievement for me to get through it word by word that I didn't want to do.

to relive it. And then, because it's in my body and I talk about it all the time. It is, it is a part of my narrative as part of my life. It's just recovery is just, it's just my life. And I love it. I enjoy it. I feel better. I look better and all that stuff. But it's like the book now is a tangible sort of, this is, this is a great dialogue that we'll have as long as we want, but it's just a dialogue that exists and,

But now this is a tangible object with words. The words don't change. They stay there like a tablet. And something kind of interesting about that is like a milestone or a tangible thing that now it exists in the world. Right. And psychologically, that says a lot to me. So even when I do die, that's still there. So maybe it can help somebody even when I can't.

be there to talk with them or whatever it might be or even exist, right? Right. Or it'll exist long after you're gone. Yeah, it's pretty interesting because I do movies and things like that or music. Those are like the same thing as a conversation. They just sort of exist in the moment. Like, you know, it's great going to a concert but then it's over. Right. And then that's it. Well, what happened? Well, I could tell you about the concert but something about something existing beyond...

Your life is something pretty interesting. What was the process like of writing? Did you physically sit down and write things? Initially, I have a ghostwriter who helped me because I've never written a book. I've written a lot, but I've never written a book. So I wanted to get the format right. And so we would work through this format. It's almost like an outline. And then so we just do interview by each of the sections of this outline that we put out.

And so then we would just talk like this. And they'd tell me, let's talk about this thing. Take me moment by moment in the accident. I'm like, all right, let's do that. And we'd meet every day for like two, three hours, however long I could sustain going word by word on it. And we recorded all the things. And I would write on my own because it would kick up new memories and started writing about the Lamaze thing. And oh, gosh, that came up. And that became a whole chapter in the book about breathing, breathing, my awareness to breathing and breathing.

How it became so important in my life. Anyway, so I just kept going and writing and writing and writing. And then I would do talks to companies. I would speak to kids at schools. All this was part of the writing experience because you can ask me the same question and then – but we're in this environment. But then if I'm with my family and I tell – answer the same question, it's a different –

It's the same kind of answer but different. So I kept learning more and more data and information that was stored in my brain and my heart and my spirit and I had to unearth it and put it down into words, which is...

which I found to be the most difficult thing. Because as we speak, like I'm doing now, it's free to speak whatever you want, but to write down the words, oh, wait, there's accountability to the words because they're written. And you have more word choice. My brain doesn't operate as fast as I'd like to for my vocabulary. I'd probably drop way too many F-bombs instead of really great words that I do know. So it was nice to be able to take the time and spend time

to really kind of express word by word through it, you know, in a very real honest way. It's more like a diary, a recounting diary than it was trying to

be fancy with words and overcomplicate something that's really quite so simple. What was the process like of going over the words and deciding what to keep and what to edit out and how to format everything and what order to talk about things in? The order always was working for me from the beginning. It allowed for flexibility for what would come up

in conversations, in the writing. It allowed for fluidity. But there's a beginning, middle, and end to this. We already knew the end. We already knew the beginning. And so it was the branches off of, I didn't know I was going to talk about Lamaze in this book. Didn't know that was a huge milestone in my life.

That got me to understand what conscious breathing was and mitigate pain. Because there's this whole thing about Lamaze. I was taken at 12 years old. My mom was pregnant with my sister. And she said, put down the cleats, son. You're not going to soccer practice. Just grab a pillow. You're coming with me to the class. I'm like, what class? It was Lamaze class at the YMCA.

And my stepdad was out driving a truck or something. And so my mom, she also needed me not to be alone. And she needed, you know, whatever. So she brought me, the oldest. And I laid there with a pillow between her legs and teaching her how to breathe and short breaths. And then they pulled down a screen. And they showed this midwife birth at home in a bathtub and squirting out water and this whole thing. Like, what's going on? I'm 12 years old. I'm 12 years old.

I'm mortified. What happened? Is that a whale breaching? What was going on? You know, and so that came up in just sort of me and my partner talking about it. And he's like, dude, you don't realize. I'm like, yeah, well, that's why the book's called My Next Breath. You know, it's all about breathing. And breathing was such an essential part of my recovery, my essential part of my, you know, not dying.

And to get through each and every moment. The perspective of breath. It is not a conscious thought. It is, right? It's just reflexive in our body. And when we make it a consciousness, when we invest into our breath, what you can do with your mind with your breath, right? It opens up. The more you breathe, the more you get oxygen in your body. It's just feeding oxygen.

All of it. It feeds you. It only feeds you. Like yawn. People yawn. And I say the example of like, oh, you're tired. No, you're not tired. It's your body that you know that you need to breathe, get more oxygen in yourself, right? So you're not tired. You just need more O2. That's all. Your body's making that happen. Isn't it fascinating that everybody breathes? So everybody thinks, oh, breathing, what's the big deal? Have you ever read James Nestor's Breath? It's actually Breathe, I guess.

But it's an amazing book on breathing techniques and the history of breathing techniques and all the different things that people have achieved with breathing techniques, including holotropic breathing, which achieves psychedelic states of consciousness and all these different feats of incredible physical endurance that people have achieved through breath work. Mm-hmm.

It's a pretty amazing book. Yeah. And he was a guest of mine on the podcast a few years back. But I read his book and started really getting into it and really trying to practice different breathing exercises and –

There's a bunch of breathing exercises you can use for anxiety, for overcoming very stressful situations. But when you say that to most people, oh, breathing, they're like, oh, you're one of those guys. You're concentrating on your breathing. What else are you concentrating on? Blinking. You know what I mean? It's like you can minimalize it. You have a reductionist perspective where you don't think it's anything big, especially if you've never practiced it. Yeah, yeah.

But, you know, especially with like yogic breathing, you can achieve some bizarre states of relaxation and consciousness through breathing. Yeah. Big time. Yeah. And you could – I always try – whenever I explain it to somebody, it's – I just – I say like when I use it. I just think I don't do it like on a daily basis. I mean maybe now I do to – but it's like – I did it for like you said for anxiety when I was like nervous in an audition. Yeah.

how do I get out of this situation? Like, I'm not in my body. My heart's going like this. I'm like, I'm not, how can I read these lines? And I hear like Sean Penn in the room and I'm supposed to go there and be better than this guy. I'm like, oh, I'm freaking out. I'm sweating. So I said, screw this. I leave the room. I go,

I go out of the building, I go out into the street like on Sunset Boulevard somewhere, find a tree that's rooted in this damn earth. It might look ridiculous, I don't care, but the courage to go down on your knees, go by the root, be in this earth, just take some deep, 10 deep breaths as cars are honking and dah dah dah on Sunset Boulevard, I don't give a shit. I'm back in my body, I'm back on this earth, here I am.

Let's fucking go. I went back up in that room and I smashed that audition. I don't remember if I got the role or not, but it doesn't matter. I was back in my body. I was back on earth, right? It wasn't like in the state of hysteria or nervousness or that, you know, because I don't like that feeling. So I found a way to overcome that feeling.

Some people might just live in that feeling all the time. They might like it. I don't know. I don't think they like it. I don't think anybody likes it. I think the problem is you just get trapped in that feeling, and then the moment something comes up that's very difficult, that causes you to spiral again, you just lose control. Yeah. Terrible. You're out of your head. Pain. Pain.

It's one of the most difficult things about this whole audition process that actors go through is that, you know, there's this golden carrot that's at the end of the stick. And if you do a good job, you might be a fucking movie star. You know what I mean? Which seems impossible, right? Right. I mean, it must have seemed impossible before you pulled it off, right? Yeah, yeah. It was never like something I was ever aiming for, really.

What were you aiming for? Truth in everything I was doing. Truth? Yeah, honesty and truth. How did you get – Because if I don't believe it, then how do I expect someone watching me to believe it? I have to ensure that everything I'm doing is truthful and honest and courageous and bold and all the things. So it was never to try to be a movie star. I just wanted to work. Right. I never wanted to be famous. How did you acquire that perspective? Oh, I don't know. I was clear about what I wanted.

very clear about what I wanted. I didn't move down to LA to be famous. I moved to LA to be in a movie, be in a movie that was big enough that would play in Modesto, California, where I'm from, because they don't get all the movies there, right? And being a part in that movie that I wouldn't have to tell my family, you know, I'm the guy in the red shirt waving in the background. It's a part big enough that you would just know I'm in the movie. And I got that, all those goals,

And the first job I ever did on camera in this National Lampoon senior trip movie. So then I had to recalibrate now new goals to – so I'll get myself – and I was working enough. So I never – my goals were always to –

Then I wanted to be the lead. By the time I got Dahmer and then Hurt Locker and all this kind of stuff, I was ready for that stuff. But I was like 38 by that time. I was like the new guy in town at 38. Right. Isn't that crazy? Yeah, I was just ready. I did my journeyman stuff. Dude, Hurt Locker is fucking amazing. It was one of the most complex movies about a very bizarre psychological state.

that people acquire or that people fall into when it comes to war. Yeah. Yeah. What was it like getting into that mindset? It's, it was interesting. I got to spend, you know, I was at Fort Irwin for about a year learning how to build bombs and render them safe, you know, for a year. Yeah. Yeah. And it's got to spend time with the guys and gals off, off campus, off base. Um,

Interesting. I love the whole experience. And then got to go shoot the movie, and that was on the Iraqi border in Jordan during the war. And it's 135 degrees in a 100-pound bomb suit. It's not even hot anymore. It's just sort of like you let that go. You just are.

It's kind of a spiritual sort of place you have to go in that kind of heat. And also you're drinking enough water. Like, you know, how am I drinking all this water? You're not even taking a leak. You're like, oh, I'm so dehydrated. I've got to be careful. And that's, you know, yeah, pretty interesting. Pretty interesting experience, you know. What were the conversations like when you were talking to the people that actually did that? Well, most of them looked like, you know, schoolteachers.

There's like one or two guys that – one guy was like kind of built like huge, big guy, broad guy.

The rest of them were like, you know, the guy that I know did three tours. He looks like he's totally out of shape. His stomach is way bigger than his chest. He's just kind of do-do-do-do-do. This guy did three tours. This guy's no joke. It's all mental. It's all such a mental game because you have to be cool in those high-intent situations because you're dealing with 155 explosives that will blow this building off the block. And...

The level of intensity is really interesting. Like, they were so comfortable around C4 and all these things. And you got to be careful with these blasting caps and all these things that people were getting injured all the time. They got really uncomfortable when I took them to a bar in L.A. Why? We were sitting at the bar and I asked. I'm like, what's going on? It's the big guy. I can't remember his name. He's like, I don't like where we're sitting. Like, what do you mean? He's like, I need my back to the wall. I need to know where the exit's at. Right? Right.

And again, because I sit like that as well. I don't like to have – I don't think it's a trust issue. I just like to kind of – I'd have my back to somewhere I know where the exit is, where the bathroom is. I look for the most dangerous man in the room, the hottest girl in the room. Just do like a Terminator checklist. Right. And that was supported by how these guys thought. And it's that same kind of thing.

They just notice everything. Just data. Okay, now I can go be here. I assess the room. Right. And I feel safe. Situational awareness. Yeah, situational awareness. I always had that, but like really doing that role and spending so much time with these crew of amazing people.

just heightened that for me. I've always been quiet and observer, and this is where I just got in for me. I could tell you the color of the hinges if they match the finish on the doorknobs in places. It's just how my brain works. Always? Yeah, yeah. Well, it's awesome. I'm a home builder and designer, so I kind of pay attention to that kind of stuff anyway.

But it sort of just kind of helps me out in life, I guess. And so when you were preparing for Hurt Locker, was it your decision to spend a year doing this? Well, no, it wasn't about the amount of time. I think I was maybe to go for maybe a few months. Catherine Bigelow, the director, just sort of introduced me and said, all right, they're ready for you at the base if you want to go. So I kind of went out and just kind of did it all on my own and just waiting for the movie to kind of get up and get greenlit and go.

It just took a little bit longer. I think we were waiting for one of the actors that was doing another job to finish, and then we could start. And then it wasn't an easy independent film to kind of get up and get rolling. But once we did, we were rocking. But, yeah, it didn't mean to be like a year, year and a half. She just called me and says, like, are you ready to go? I'm like, yeah, like I'm getting deployed. Like, yeah, let's go. I'm ready. And then I also – like we didn't even have a – like an EOD sort of tech on –

on the shoot. I had to be the person that... I had to call back. I'm like, I don't know. This doesn't look right. They set up these 155s and it's electrical and it should be dead cord and all these things that I learned. But I wasn't an expert by any means. I just wanted to make it look authentic in the movie. So I had to call back and call me back and be taking a picture of this shit. I don't think it's right. Oh, wow. And yeah, so...

Well, that's fortunate that you had so much experience. Yeah, it was great. Because if there's anything in that movie, especially for people that actually did that, that takes you out of it. Yeah. And I wouldn't want to do that because we wanted to be very authentic to what we were doing. We are still making a movie, but let's live in this world. And look, the narrative is that the characters that live in this bizarre world in a very relevant time, in this war that we're in and everything.

And also the struggles of, you know,

soldier and civilian life. And because they were civilians and now they became soldiers, they'd be put in prison for life for doing the shit they're getting paid to do now. And that was a wonderful sort of outcome of the movie of how it bridged that sort of gap or the struggles with PTSD and coming back from this harrowing sort of existence and war and then coming back in like the cereal aisle. That example of like, really like...

you know, or in the rain and like you appreciate the sun. It's just such a polar opposite and like this is my existence and it became such a really wonderful sort of starting point for like wives to deal with their husbands that came back. They can kind of understand a little bit of what they might have gone through just in general, like the broad strokes of how hard it is and then to come back and then like, you know, change diapers and do the thing. You know what I mean? Right. That became such a

a powerful thing in that narrative that I found after we did it and we're showing it to all the military bases. And it's always going to be a special experience in my life. And I'll always be connected to a lot of soldiers because of that. Well, it was a really well done movie. And it was the way you could, well, there was a thing about that movie that made you think in a way or made me think in a way that I don't think I ever thought before. Like, oh, I never considered what this movie,

to civilian life is like after dealing with the unbelievable stress of being in a war zone, defusing bombs, and then wanting to go back. Yeah. But it made you understand. It made you understand, like, oh, fuck, he wants to go back. Like, oh, my God. Like, watching the movie, like...

When a movie can do that to you, it can take you into that psychology of the person that would be in that state and make it make sense. That was a great movie. Yeah. I'm just happy to be part of it. It wasn't just a story. It was like you're documenting a very real condition that through art you put words to these people's existence where they don't –

They don't have anybody representing that. Yeah. That's why it means a lot to me. And they let me know it means a lot to them. And that's the most special thing. Like, fuck it, the movie part of it. I think it's created a dialogue for a lot of broken families and united families better. Like you said, it's a greater understanding of like,

that difference of soldier-civilian life, it's a great bridge for it. Yeah, I remember. I'm very proud of that. I saw it, and then I went back to the comedy store, and I said, oh, man, we saw Hurt Locker last night. And my friend went, dude. And I went, dude. Dude.

And that was like all we had to say. Like, fuck, man. It's like that. It was that kind of movie. That's just like, oh, my God. Like, it just gives you anxiety. And it also it also just makes you like really reflect and think about what war is. And in the requirement that you're putting on human beings to try to get them to transition from this insane chaos back into civilian life with violence.

No real guidance. Yeah. Just you figure this out. Now you're back in the cereal aisle. Yeah. Yeah. We're going to Starbucks. Yeah. You're like, ah, yeah. Yeah. It's interesting. How do you decide what roles to pick?

When you're at this sort of stage in your life where you're so well-known, people come to you with things, and you have to decide whether or not this project is something that resonates with you. Well, now it's different. The central part of my life for so long was my career. And then my daughter came around, and then she's number one. So then I would do the job that would...

Allow me still to be a father because I'm not going to not be a father because my job takes me away for long periods of time and just not doing that in far places. So I would – so I'm not working out of the country anymore once my daughter was born. So I always had reach and access to my daughter as fast as I needed to be. And then now after the incident, I – it's even tightened up more.

And loosen up more because my daughter is now 12 and she doesn't need me as much. She wants her friends a little bit more. Right. A little bit lower on the tonal pull. Just temporarily, I know. And also I can travel. Like I just worked last summer on a job. There's a movie called Knives Out.

And then I brought my whole family with me. Knives Out was great. Yeah, it's awesome. Yeah, so this is going to be a really good one too. But I was able to bring my entire family out. Like 15 people came out because a lot of them not well-traveled and they got to see a lot of Europe. I took my mom and my daughter to the Olympics in Paris. Dope. Got to spend a couple of weeks in Italy and just kind of celebrate. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, so we can do that kind of stuff now. So I did the job essentially just to have a summer vacation with my family. Oh, nice. So that's kind of how I decide –

And also I did love the character. I did love – I mean, come on. All that has to line in there too. I'm not just going to do a job for a job. But it just lined up. But my family has to be involved. My daughter has to be involved. Friends have to be involved. Otherwise, I'm not going to remove myself from all those shared experiences with people in my life just so I can go do a movie. I don't want to do any movie that bad.

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Maybe you could put a trillion dollars in front of me. Go do this. You only need you for two weeks. I'm like, it doesn't fit. It doesn't check all the boxes that have real value. The shared experience, the joy with my daughter, my family, my friends. And, you know, then it's just not worth it to me. You know, I don't need to go act for to do a job. I don't. Right. You know, you do it because you want to. Yeah. Yeah. And that's that's to me what retirement is.

I'm doing what I want to do with who I want to do it with. And I'm still always going to be busy and work all my life. I'll do that. Yeah. But it's not retirement. This is a better life. Well, it is in my mind. I'm a busy guy and I like to contribute. I'm very busy doing the Renovation Foundation, right? Which is a...

Huge, big, central part of my life with my family that runs this charitable foundation in my community in Lake Tahoe for foster youth and disadvantaged youth and giving them opportunities that they don't have, these poor kids. And that's great. And I love that. I love I get – is that retirement? It's going to keep me busy until I die. It's weird that you have to frame things like career or retirement. It's really just life, life and passions. Right.

Yeah, exactly. But I don't think a lot of people are doing what they want to do in their life anyway. But yeah, I'll always work, always do the things I love to do. And I'm still continuing to do the things I love to do just on my own terms. I wouldn't be able to start this foundation if I wasn't living life on my own terms. I am satiated beyond satiated. I don't need anything. I require a shared experience on this earth and that is it.

This is more so now since the accident? Well, it's always been that. But there's a lot of things in the way or things I allowed to be in the way or things I put in the way. Allowed to be in the way. Yeah, I allowed to be in the way. And now I do not. I refute it. I push it away. I am certainly clear when I put obstacles on my own way, when I get my own way, we all do that shit too. But so I'm just very, very, very clear. And I keep I oversimplify life because life is just that simple.

If we complicate it, then you're going to have an overcomplicated life and it's just not as valuable, I think. I live both. And the wonderful oversimplification has allowed me to, again, use the word retirement in my mind. I'm just living a life that I want to live, that I deserve to live, that I choose to live and not be –

Limited or rabbit hole or victimized by society or the country I'm living in or the neighborhood I'm living in or the job I have. I don't have any limitations because I'm making manifest everything that I have in my life.

And it feels great. I'm the captain of the ship. It might take a minute to turn this bitch around, right? But I'm the captain of this damn ship. It's called my life. And I think everybody has a capacity to do so. Well, that's another beautiful thing of living life by example that can inspire people because that's really what people want to do. They want to live a life where they feel like this is great. Like what I'm doing is what I want to do.

Most people, they don't live like that. Most people, they have this dream in the future, one day I will be able to live the way I want to, but I'm not doing it right now. Right, right. I think that's a trap.

Personally, I think you're doing it already. The journey is there. There's no end result besides, yeah, you might. I know, but there's so many narratives that people adhere to. There's so many narratives out there in culture where they tell you, you should be doing this and you should be doing that. This is a concentrate on your 401K and you're this and that. What are your investments? Yeah.

And you fucking, at the end of the night, you need a pill to go to sleep. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's even crazier now with social media and all that. That's poison. That's just white noise of garbage, man. I mean, I've been off it lately for like the last few weeks where I literally just check it when I'm taking a shit and that's it. Yeah. Apropos too. I look to see if there's anything crazy going on in the world just so I know what's happening. But I don't.

Ever get involved. I don't ever like argue with people or post things and I just see people doing it and I'm like You're losing your fucking mind and I've had conversations with friends and they're like, you know You know what fucking this and that and that and this I'm like, why why are you paying attention? This is like, let's go outside. Look Yeah You're you're alive

in America in 2025 is like a magical time to be alive and you're concentrating on some shit that literally has no effect on your life and you're making it your primary focus that is the definition of madness yeah I mean it really is yeah you're freaking out about things that aren't even here yeah well that's where you get your way you're giving that value you don't have to you know yeah

But, you know, it's just like perspective is a very difficult thing to earn. It is. It is. Right? How do we get it? How do we get it? Experience, right? Experience, overcoming adversity, developing character. Sharing. Shared experience. That's a big part of it. You know, like with people that you love and you really connect with. Who you surround yourself with. Yes. That's most of the key to life. Yeah. Yeah.

Like if you surround yourself with really great people, you're forced to become a really great person. It's like you have to keep up with it. This foundation, tell me how you started that. Initially started with a show that I produced and put on Disney Plus, which is called Renovations. And it was taking – I didn't like to see a lot of vehicles go to waste, like purpose-built vehicles like a city bus or a fire truck and all these things that –

Supposed to go a long, long, long ways, but they just replaced them even though they're perfectly good vehicles. So I wanted to repurpose those and help them help, you know, communities in need. And like, so it's taking, I got built one with to be a water truck, like a box truck to be a water, water treatment plant to give kids in villages with terrible water and be able to reverse osmosis their water, give them drinkable water at their school or take a, there's a,

It's like a city bus and turned it into like a dance studio, a mobile dance studio for these kids in Mexico. And just these creative sort of things. And it's kind of like Pimp My Ride, but with like real valuable things, you know, just take these really cool purpose built trucks and sting and make it something really spectacular for these kids, all kids driven to give them what their needs are.

And then it just went into like I didn't want to make it about just vehicles when I wanted to start the foundation. It became a wonderful calling card. And then I started the foundation and my sister works for DCFS, which is Child Protective Services in Los Angeles County. And one of my best girlfriends in Reno, she also works for CPS, Child Protective Services there. So I've been working with foster youth for many, many, many years privately.

And now I just wanted to really get invested into the community. So I started small in northern greater northern Nevada. And it's in my sister now is running it and Shane is running it as well with me. And the whole family's now gotten involved. And it's been really wonderful to come back from the incident. Have this be a central goal for us to celebrate our time together as a family and to give back to these kids that are in great need.

And it has been a dream of mine that I've been wanting to do for a long time and now do it publicly. I've been doing it privately for a long time. And to really make a big splash and make a lot of movement for these kids. And I think it's one of the reasons why I was brought back outside of all the other things. But I think there's something working in my favor to come back outside just, you know, my family.

And I think it is my reach to kids and my ability to have a great effect for them.

And it's been a couple years now, and it's already been moving mountains for kids already, and will continue to do so. This is like me breathing. This is easy. I love this. This is a part of my fiber, my body. I'm the oldest of seven in my family. I've been changing diapers and living as the oldest. It's sort of my birthright to be able to do. What makes it even cooler is that I'm a Marvel superhero. So I have, like, a reach and access to these kids that they even listen to, right? They're like, oh, cool, let's go to camp with Hawkeye. That's just dope. Yeah.

And they all show up with plastic sacks, right? And this is like all their valuables in their life. And it makes me weep, right? And this is all they're worth. And they show up with hefty bags. All of them.

So we give them rollers with their names on it and a passport. It's like a journal, and they can – I'm going to change the narrative of this. You're a traveler now. You're a world traveler. You're not carrying your trash around with all your worth in it. Your worth is much bigger than that. We're going to – just planting seeds like that in their head and then creating community for them, creating opportunities for them, safe places for them, giving them –

more educated stuff. We brought in a recording studio bus for them to touch all these instruments they'd never have access to. Who knows what that does? I don't care. Let it have access to things. Give these kids opportunities that they deserve. This is the future of our fucking planet. Why aren't we giving more time and effort to that?

It's the future of our world, man. Let's give them all the tools. We need another Elon. We need other super smart, amazing people, man. We need that. We need other leaders. What do we give in our youth, especially our foster youth, man?

It's not a good look. They've gone through a lot of struggles, these kids, man. And they're not going to struggle, not on my dime, not in my time. That's amazing. So it's easy for me to do. I love it. It's a great focus for me that's outside of – it's things I enjoy, right? I still do things that I enjoy. I just get to do it with these kids and have – they teach me so much. I learn so much. They keep me in a really youthful spirit. It's harrowing to hear what they've been through, Joe.

I don't like to know. My sister knows all about it. Shana knows all about it because they get the phone calls. They have relationships with a lot of these kids. They know, dude, I mean, you'd probably react like I would. You want to flip a table, hurt some people, you know, and so I'd prefer not to know how they got touched and who did it and you know, this kind of stuff. I just try to choose to focus on this. Give these kids a plant some seeds of hope.

And I'm good at that shit. That's awesome. And I love it. So we're on jet ski. They've never even been to this lake. So whatever the heck it is, new experiences, new joy, new friends. They're all crying at the end of this camp because they had such a good damn time. One of them was getting adopted and she was crying because, like, I can't come back because I'm not a foster kid anymore. I've got adopted. Like, no, you can come back.

You know, you know, you did good then when she didn't want to get adopted. Like, ah, it means we're doing something right for these kids. And we're going to continue doing it. And we're doing it not only just as a camp, but we're doing like lots of programs throughout the year to keep the community of the foster youth community together. A lot of these kids are brothers and sisters that never get to see each other because they're in separate homes, separate cities. One's in Vegas, one's in Reno. Right. Dude, you can't do that. You can't do that. So we're doing our best to.

unite community, right? We need each other. These kids need each other. Even beyond they don't need me, they need access and reasons to be together. So...

It's helping the foster parents. It's helping the kids. It's whatever we can do. We're going to start building youth centers as well. We'll be building homes as well in the future with the foundation. But we're starting step by step, breath at a time, brick by brick and building camps and activities and education for them and everything.

I love it. You can see how much I love it. I could talk about this for days, man. You lit up when you're talking about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love it, man. We have these camps coming up here in June and July, so I'm pumped. Can't wait to finish this job and go back home. That's incredible. Yeah. It's kind of shocking that it takes individuals to be inspired to do something like this because society doesn't put any emphasis on this.

Well, it's like, look, there's a – states have foster programs, right? But there's gaps in the system, man. It's like kids – forgotten kids are forgotten. And then some are – it's tragic. But –

Put a spotlight on something. Put energy into something. It builds. And I got a loud voice and a big heart, and I'm very actionable what I do. And that's why the foundation is growing and making the moves and making the paving ways for these kids. So I'll keep doing it, man. It's easy. How long have you been doing this now? Publicly, only a couple years.

It's just started out. So, you know, then it's like learning about, oh, it's called the nonprofit stuff. It's like, oh, man, it's like going out and asking for money. So I don't do that. I'll go do like voiceover jobs and like put money in the account for – I hate asking for money for foundation stuff, you know. I'll let somebody else kind of bother that. I do – I stay in my lane. I work with the kids and work with the ideas and the programs. And I let my sister and those guys on the board –

deal with like you're having to raise money and all those kind of things. It's just not my wheelhouse. Well, unfortunately, when people hear nonprofit, they always think, okay, well, where's the money really going? Well, that's where it is. And that's why we operate at 8%, I think. Oh, that's great. Yeah. Nobody does that. That's the opposite of how they're usually done. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So, I mean, even if we got to, because no one takes anything except just basic operating costs. And if we're operating at 8%, I think maybe 13%, it's like all the money is going to the kids, man. That's incredible. All of it. All of it.

All of it. So I'm trying to get to the bank account to be full so we only operate off the interest. Once we're there, then we can really start to move needle for building things and doing some stuff in the future. So I'm excited for that.

Are you going to expand this? Yeah, it'll grow. It'll grow. Again, I think to keep effective for me is staying in the home area or just the state of Nevada at least and not going too far. So because I still I'm very, very hands on. And it's important for me to be the voice for the foundation and for these kids and an advocate for them. And so Nevada is kind of the goal for the least maybe the next year.

Five years for sure. And there's still a ton of kids that I have not reached and need to reach. So I focus on that. That's amazing. Yeah. Then there's like getting these youths that age out. They're getting back into being counselors back in the camp. There's a great thing with UNR. They get a free ride at the camp.

the university and a lot of them are going back into sociology and psychology and want to go help kids and foster like this is so great so i want to give them opportunities to come back and help uh the youth and maybe give them guidance god this is awesome self-healing and cathartic in its own way whatever we can do man it's a it's it's a it's a it's a wonderful wonderful

That's amazing because you light up when you talk about that like nothing else we've talked about. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It is. It's everything. It's it's again, I'm focusing my energy on all the positive stuff, you know, because I can't be too sensitive to deal with the hardships that they go through. So let me just be a.

A guiding light for them or someone to laugh on. They can sign my T-shirts, whatever they want to do. I don't care. I'm their playground. I love it, man. Again, I think it's the reason why I came back, Joe. That's incredible. You could see that it means so much to you. Yeah. And that's just – if you could find something like that in life, you're a winner. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, just think of the amount of positive energy you put out there in the world. Yeah, it's pretty exponential, too. And then also how it cascades. Yeah, yeah. The ripple effect of that is insane. It changed their life. It'll change other people's lives. Yes. And then it comes back. It's pretty what you put out in the world is what you get back, you know? Yeah. I see it every day, and it's exponential, especially now since the incident. The ripple effect of just...

Dude, this happened in my driveway. It was a private experience. I woke up and it was a global thing. I didn't ask for that. So kind of glad it did. It allowed people to see me as the man that I am and not the guy that slings an arrow. Right. You know what I mean? It's a fake arrow because it's CGI. Right. You know, so I'm glad it became a big public thing. But, you know, the ripple effect of just this narrative of the recovery is –

Like you said, it can affect a lot of people. And it's a beautiful thing. It's a positive thing. And like the foundation. And I see it and feel it every day. You really lead an exemplary life, my friend. You really do. Well, what's the alternative? I know, but I mean, it's interesting that you have this perspective. Like, I'm always curious to people that have such an amazing perspective. Like, how did you gain it? Like, how did you get to this place?

Yeah, well, I mean, you have to – I think you have to life and review, right? Yeah. You know, there's a life and review. I think there's – I think, you know, there's birth order, right? There's also being in the 70s in a small town where I was a latchkey kid, right? I had free reign at that time.

I was seven years old and a key to the house. I didn't have to come home to the streetlights came on. Right. Now I, yeah, I made mistakes. Yeah. I broke windows and slingshots and stole shit and died and light up the cigarette butt and my, my mom's and all this stuff. And it got caught. And sometimes I learned, I reprimand myself. I self-policed myself. Um, I was very honest kid.

You know, there's a lot of things. I had a bicycle and then that was like freedom. That's where I began like, oh, I have real freedom. I got a fishing pole. I got on my bike and just went off into another county. Like that wouldn't happen today. I would never allow my daughter to go walk across the street. I had a similar life. I was a latchkey kid too. And I just think the horror. Where was this?

Well, I lived all over the place. When I was 7 to 11, I lived in San Francisco. From 11 to 13, I lived in Florida. From 13 to 24, I lived in Boston. Oh, wow. Then New York and out here. Oh, wow. Well, LA, rather, and then out here the last five years. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's a good mix. Yeah, that's a good mix, right? Well, the good thing about living in a bunch of different places, the bad thing is I never really developed roots. Right. But-

I had to form my own opinions because I couldn't count on the opinions of all the people around me. I didn't have like a core group of friends. So I always had to like...

sort of see the world for what it was. Yeah. Did that make you an introvert or an extrovert or both? I think I was an introvert initially. I don't think I ever, even though I talk for a living and I'm a public figure, I'm not really an extrovert, which is really odd. Like I don't really like attention, which sounds crazy for someone who gets a lot of attention. Yeah. I don't need it.

You know, which is probably why I get it in some strange. Right, right. Yeah. Some strange. Like, I was very socially anxious when I was a kid. Yeah. I would get super nervous when I had to talk to a bank teller. I remember one time I had to deposit money in a bank and I was like, why am I freaking out like this? This is so weird. Right. You know, but eventually overcame all that stuff. And then, you know.

through martial arts, traveling around all throughout my youth from the time I was 15 until I was 22. So all I did was travel around the country and competing. So I had a very bizarre life in that I didn't have like the normal high school life of partying and hanging out. And I was, you know, flying to California to fight. Right. It was weird. It was a very weird life. You know, so I...

You know I did was still wasn't an extrovert like I didn't really learn how to talk in groups of people till I started teaching I started teaching martial arts

And then that's how I learned how to public speak. But I was publicly speaking about something that I was very good at. So it was like I commanded sort of attention just because I would demonstrate to them things that I was doing. And in demonstrating and talking, it made sense that I was able to talk. About something you knew pretty well and you're comfortable in. Yeah. And, you know, it's like I was really good at it so I could show them. Yeah.

I'm going to demonstrate something to you. And then I'd do it and be like, holy shit. I'd be like, I'm going to show you how to do this. And then if you listen to me, like I taught at Boston University when I was 19. And it was a real counter to GPA. It was like pass, fail, A. And I'd say, all you have to do is show up.

Try and you get an A and if you can't show up call me tell me you can't make it and you'll be fine If you fuck off, I'm gonna fail you but if you just try you get an A and then it counts towards your GPA This is like a legit thing. Yeah, like well, I want you to do is like this can help your life and

And I'm not thinking you're going to go and fight and compete, but I can teach you something here. Yeah. And it's difficult, but you'll get better at it. And through getting better at it, you'll learn how to get better at other things. The discipline. Yeah. Yeah. So that's like how I got into comedy in the oddest way, learning how to talk to people because I wasn't comfortable talking to people. I always felt like a loser and a

weirdo and I always felt like an outcast. Yeah. So for to learn how to talk publicly like that's how I did. Yeah. You know but all that traveling around just gave me this very bizarre like rootless sense of who I was as a person. Is there anything that you grabbed from that experience that you hold on to. I mean like to you.

you know, from... There's just some positive things that kind of come out from that, right? Yeah. Like, I went to a different school every year of my life, at least until I got to high school. But I was in the same town. I didn't move around a lot. Maybe just in the town I did. Divorce and all that sort of stuff, or schools were full, whatever it was. So I had to either engage with people, all brand new people, each grade, new school, new grade. Yeah. And then, you know, you're growing up. I was more shy, I think, more like you, like an introvert. And so either I either...

Very gregarious or I just was an observer and I just watched. So you just make choices and that's why I became an observer. But with that, I don't know. I like that part of me and I can be extroverted like I'm an actor and a thing but I'm still more insular and quiet. Yeah. Even though the two quiet guys are yapping their jaws off for hours. Well, I mean you –

It was hard, but I wouldn't have wanted it any other way because I think it made me different. And I think there's – unfortunately, if you are in like a small town and you grow up in that town and you never leave that town, your perspective is very limited. Yeah, yeah. Big time. And I moved around a lot, and I think that was very uncomfortable. I hated it when I was a kid. Like, fuck, we're moving again. Yeah.

to another state. Like, this is crazy. But that made me who I am. And again, it made me form my own opinions instead of adopting a conglomeration of opinions that everybody around me had. You know, and I went from

Very liberal and progressive San Francisco in the 1970s during the Vietnam War to living in Florida where it was like completely the opposite, like super conservative and kind of retarded. And I remember just being around people like, why do they even think like this? This is crazy. It was so strange to me to have this like complete juxtaposition, almost like a cultural 180. Yeah.

But it also made me realize, like, wow, there's a lot of different ways to think. Yeah. There's a lot of different ways to engage with life. Yeah. You know? Yeah.

Well, is it – don't we – like especially growing up, right? Because you're saying like 7, 8, 13, 14, all those years we look to our friends and friendship groups to sort of like kind of help develop ourselves and kind of be a reflection upon ourselves. And if you don't have it, you have other things that you turn to. But it could be – like you said, it could have been a terrible thing if you stayed in the same place and you had the same core four dudes.

And then how limited your life would have been to stay in San Fran or, you know. Yeah. So it could – like you said, there's a real good positive thing to take from being removed from stability, removed from – right? That's all anxiety-inducing. Yeah. Or it could be the perspective, right? The perspective could be – but if it's a positive perspective, you know, to lean on – yeah, like you said, I like how I came in the thing and it drove you into –

All the things that you probably like about yourself today, I think it's pretty interesting. Yeah. And it also, like, I got picked on a lot, too, in which that's what drove me into martial arts. Boston days? Yeah. I was like, I hate being scared of people. Yeah. It just drove me nuts. Yeah. I didn't have friends, so, like, a group of guys would fuck with me and I didn't know what to do. So I was like, okay, I got to fix this. And so I became obsessed with martial arts. And then once I started doing that, it was like the first thing that I ever did, I was like, hey.

I don't think I'm a loser. I just think I never figured out how to get good at something. And now that I'm really good at this one thing, I'm like the opposite of a loser. And then I became obsessed with winning, you know, and then that was like my whole life until I was like, I don't think I want to do this anymore. And then I, you know, transitioned to other things, but,

that period of time wouldn't have happened if I lived in a comfortable environment where I wasn't fucked with and where I didn't get bullied. I wouldn't have that desire to do something that was completely terrifying because I was scared of physical confrontation. So what do I do? Spend my whole life getting...

getting involved in like voluntary physical confrontation with trained fighters. Right. Which is way more terrifying. Right. The most terrifying thing. You know, you know, but that. But what's the alternative? Oh, just be scared and be bullied and beat the fuck up. That's what I had to decide. Yeah. Take the reins. I had to decide that. Yeah. I just had to make this change, you know. Yeah.

Fortunately, it worked out. Yeah. It's very bizarre, the turns that life takes. And when you look back, you're like, what if that hadn't happened? What if I hadn't done this? What if I hadn't turned left? Yeah, the crossroads are so, so...

so instrumental in who we become. Right. And I'm also... And in control of that? Like, we're not steering any ship at that point, right? No, so much of it is luck. Yeah. Or whatever it is. Or fate. Whatever fate means. Yeah. You know, I mean, fate is kind of

assumed once an outcome has been achieved, oh, it was fate. Yeah, in hindsight. Was it really? In hindsight, you could say that. Yeah, I'm not sure. Say that in a moment. Right. I do think there's a certain power to following instincts, which I've always done for whatever reason. You know, there's a pull that you have towards a certain direction, even if it's, like, massively uncomfortable. Like, sometimes you have to realize, like...

Okay, let's go. This is what I'm supposed to do. And that is very hard to do. But once you do it a few times and then you start saying, there's a little voice in your head like, that motherfucker's never let me down. I'm going to keep serving that voice. Whatever that voice is, I'm going to keep listening. Even though people are like, what are you doing? And I'm like, I'm not going to listen to you. I hear that a lot. Yeah.

I think so do a lot of people that have accomplished great things. I don't think anybody who listens to the advice of everyone around them ever steps out of line. I don't think you ever really try anything crazy. Because most people aren't going to want to support you when you're trying something that seems insane, whether it's trying to be a movie star or whatever it is, trying to be a martial artist or a rock star or anything in life that's hard to do. Most people are going to tell you don't do that.

Especially people that are conservative, conservative in a sense of like do something that is going to give you a good chance of success. Yeah. Because the more fun things are very open-ended. They don't really have a lot of – like what are the numbers of people that become successful actors?

Oh, I mean, it's just. Is it like a tenth of a percent? Probably. It's probably not even that. Yeah, probably not even that. It's probably less than that. I mean, if you could like get a chart of like how many people moved to Los Angeles to try to make it in show business and how many make it.

It's got to be an astronomical... The numbers are not good. Insane. Those numbers have to be insane. But my thought was like, fuck, somebody's doing it. Somebody did it. Why can't I do it? And then people would say, you know what, with the odds you're going to make it? I don't know. Why am I thinking about that? It can be done. People have done it. But you have to be willing to just really think

fucking throw yourself into something yeah and know that especially in the beginning there's no time to fuck off here if you really want to do something that's really hard to do like you got to be all in yeah because there's too many people that are all in yeah you're competing with them you're not competing with these like half steppers these people that are kind of dipping in and dipping out they're there as an example for you to not live your life yeah yeah yeah

Well, isn't there kind of a selective hearing that kind of has to happen in anything for anyone? We have to listen and really listen to engage and really listen to learn, right?

Yeah. But then we have to have selective listening to like how many times I was told no or told I was crazy. Oh, yeah. Or to like, what are you doing? You out of your mind? I'm like, oh, now I was on. I knew I'm on the right track when I hear that. Mm hmm. Because that's that's that's that's the words of a fearful person. Yeah. Those those are those are those are the words uttered from someone who's scared and not courageous enough.

And a lot of stuff's in their way. I'm on the right track. Well, not just that. There are those people that would try to sabotage you because they don't want you to be successful because they haven't taken a chance in their life. So they don't want anybody who does, who's courageous, they want you to fail. Yeah.

There's people out there that want people that are courageous to fall apart because then it makes them feel better for their own choices. That's okay. They got to live with that. I don't, right? Right, right. They got to swim in that. But again, I think that those things are just like...

You need the rain to appreciate the sun. Yeah, yeah. You know? You need to struggle to appreciate love. They have to coexist, otherwise they don't exist. Yeah. It's like a truth and a lie. They both have to exist, otherwise everything's just fucking true. Right, right. Right? So you have to coexist together, otherwise you don't. That's the hardest part of life to truly understand. Like, why is there evil?

Right. Because you need love. You need good. Like, why can't everything be love? Well, it can't. It can't. There has to be evil people for you to appreciate loving people. You know, there really has to be kind people for you to, you know, to appreciate, oh, okay, life is not just all cruelty. Right.

But you have to know that cruelty exists for you to appreciate kindness. Yeah, yeah. Weird. Yeah. It's a weird dance and it's... It's strange. Yeah. Like, if God is real, like, what a strange game he's playing. Right.

Yeah. You can kind of, when it all works out, you see wisdom in it. You know, you're like, I kind of get it. Yeah. Like the life is not just utopia. It's a strange mix of good and evil. Yeah. And love and hate and, and all these things that are in the way. Yeah. Those tests, man, those tests, don't they suck?

All the tests we have in our lives, and everybody has them. Everybody. There's nobody that's exempt from it. How much money, how successful. We're all susceptible to great tests and great suffering. It's how well you overcome that suffering.

It will determine how well you love and deeply you love in your life. And also the people that have overcome the most are the most fascinating and interesting and complex people. Have you ever met Amanda Knox? Do you know who she is? Yeah, I know who she is. She's that woman that was accused wrongly of a murder in Italy. Yeah, I remember that.

She spent years in prison and in Italy and she is so fascinating. Yeah. She's so strong and so interesting. And I asked her about this. I was like, do you ever think like you are this really unusual person with this like fucking cast iron integrity and character? Yeah.

Would you be this person if you hadn't been wrongly accused and spent years in prison and publicly persecuted and then eventually absolved? Like, who would you be? I mean, would you want it any other way? I mean, I don't. Right. I wouldn't wish that on anybody. But yet here you meet her. She's so incredible. It's like life is very, very odd. Yeah. And there's choices that she could have made. Right. In that way.

She could have been resentful. I don't know how she is, so I don't know. She's not at all. Yeah. And she could have been valid in any really kind of feeling she has about things because that all sounds pretty shitty. Yeah. But again, what's the alternative? You want to hold on to resentment and that kind of – is that the life you want to live because it's your choice? Right. I like – fuck, she sounds like an interesting person to talk about, but –

You know, is it a choice for her? Right. Did she feel like it was a choice? Like, you know, what was her... It certainly wasn't. Yeah. No, I mean... Did she feel like that that made her who she is and she's content with that or...? I mean, she's certainly resigned to what it is, but she's...

very happy now. Right. But not just happy, like complex, like a complex, compassionate, charitable thinker. What's the conversation if she's still in the joint, you know? Oh, yeah. I mean, she's still in the clink and there's no hope of her getting out. Well, she learned a lot in there, too. Yeah, I bet. People, like what...

the terrible choices that people make because most of the people that were in there were guilty. And the terrible choices that these people make and like what happened to you when you were young? Like why did you become a person who murdered your husband? Why did you become a person who robbed a bank? What went wrong? You used to be a baby. This is something that I –

Really changed one being a parent really changed my Perspective of human beings in a very profound way in many many profound ways But one of the biggest ones is I stopped looking at people as being static I stopped looking at Oh Jeremy's 54 has always been 54. I does how I know now I look at everybody like oh you were a baby You were a baby like I know what I mean?

You know, I love my daughters dearly and they're very extraordinary people, but it's been fascinating to watch them as little babies become these really complex human beings and have conversations with them and talk to them and see how they interface with life and

And then I, you know, meet people who are all fucked up and, you know, angry and fucking hateful and I'm like, God damn, what happened? What, what went wrong? Yeah. You know, what are the things that, and how do you get out of this? You know? Yeah. It's interesting. Yeah. It's, you know. Well, I mean, it's, there's so many trials and tribulations in this wonderful existence that we all share.

And I think we learn a lot through other people's, not just your own, but other people's. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Well, that's the hope anyway. We can, right? Yeah. Well, I think a lot of people are going to learn a lot through you. And without having to do it in a fearful way or scare tactics or, you know what I mean? That doesn't really work. Yeah, yeah. But it's used everywhere in media and advertising and all that kind of stuff. Right, right. But like to do it in an honest way or it's like, I hope I still learn something.

By talking about my experience, right? I still learn by looking through the book or listening to the audio. I'll be listening to the audio soon when I have my daughter and all my nieces and nephews around. We're going to listen to it. We're all going to listen to it together. So I'm not going to have them go off reading this thing. It's too harrowing to do it alone. But like, I'll be listening to it. I'm going to learn through it. And with that experience and that exchange with these beautiful young creatures, you know, um,

You'll be learning for so long. It's only been a couple of years, which is really crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll keep trying and testing the limits of my body and my mind and my spirit and what I can pass on to others, what I can give on to others, what they give me. It is a vibrant, high vibration that I'm living right now. And I am so blessed to have it. I have so much gratitude at every breath.

I almost feel like I don't have to walk anymore. I just feel so lucky. And I think it has to do with all the love and all the goodness that this world has to offer. I think that's gotten me through. And the attitude of it, that perspective of that. Because it can be a very bleak, dark place. But I choose to... I choose love. I choose...

I choose my perspective. It is my choice. And I've been in dark places where it wasn't quite so positive and so lovely. It was well before the accident, you know. It was just like, you know, just kind of grumbly and grumpy and don't want to leave my house. And, you know, I don't want to go sign an autograph. I don't want to be around people or, you know, just kind of whatever, you know. Not a really great, happy place, perhaps, you know, like everybody has the right to be. But that doesn't exist anymore.

At this point, you know, I don't get any more bad days, Joe. That's amazing. Right? You're like, fuck, I wanted that. Isn't that incredible? I can gas up a snowcat for you once. I can make it happen for you. Isn't that incredible? No more bad days, brother. Right? Wow. It's a perspective that is mine and a truth and a reality that is mine. Because I have a barometer to like, yeah, I know what a bad day is actually like. And I was tested to my limits. And I got through it, luckily, somehow, someway. And...

It's just almost science at this point. It's a factual that it's just not going to happen. I can't. No matter if I try so hard to have a bad day, it's just not going to happen. I can have a bad moment. I can have frustrating times. But I'm just not going to have a bad day. And for the rest of my experience here on Earth. That's amazing. And I think that experience, this perspective that you're sharing is contagious. I think so too, dude. Actually, I know so. I know so.

Yeah, I think so too. For a fact. It's sort of make manifestation of what your existence is you want to be. Yeah. And you can do it. Yeah. But you got to believe it. You got to do it. Yeah. Both those things. I think that's why it's beautiful that you wrote this book. Yeah.

My next breath? Yes, sir. Thank you, Jeremy. It was awesome. I really appreciate you. Yeah, likewise, brother. You make me happy, man. You bring out a lot of good stuff in me. You reaffirm a lot of good things in me in a really, really meaningful way, and I appreciate you. I appreciate you, too. Thank you. It was a lot of fun. Yes, sir. Thank you. I'll see you at the UFCs, too, man. Absolutely. Okay. Go buy this book, folks. Yes, sir. Bye, brother. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.