EXCLUSIVE: Whitney Cummings Responds To Critics Of Her CNN NYE Performance!
58:57 Share

come see us on tour in los angeles honolulu dallas texas baltimore atlantic city cohoes new york and providence rhode island go to jimmy door.com for a link for tickets and only there establishment media sucks all gas lighting so good luck bullshit we can't afford why he's fomenting this oh watch and see as

So, ladies and gentlemen, I don't know if you saw the the fun. The famous Whitney Cummings was on the New Year's Eve show on CNN. And let me let me just show you what she said. Twenty twenty four election fried our brains. The Democrats couldn't hold a primary because they were too busy holding a body upright.

Are we still rolling? Am I off? Go for it. It was amazing that the pro-choice party didn't give their voters one when it came to the presidential candidate. Kamala was forced on us so hard you'd think she was patented by Pfizer or Moderna, whichever one. Oh, God. Andy just gave me a very scary look. No! I love going around the country because you see that Americans really are more reasonable than they would be portrayed.

They're pretty great. And I'm playing bigger and bigger venues now. I thought being a mom would mean that less people want to come see me. I'm now playing, you know, like 3,000 seat theaters, which is about the viewership of CNN these days. Not this show, though. All eyes are on this show. Wow, you're all fired. You know, Andy and I had a tour. We did like 3,000 seats. I didn't remember.

That shows the system is falling apart because she's defying the unwritten rules and tearing these assholes new assholes, which is not an easy thing to do to give an asshole another asshole. These two queens are covered in cat scratches right now. So anyway, let's bring in Whitney Cummings is with us. Hi, Whitney. How are you? Welcome to the show.

Hi, Jimmy. You know, I'm such a huge fan. I'm literally zooming in with you just to get Kurt to stop texting me things about Alan Dulles and writing. This is what it came to. You're on a list now. You can pretend you're in normal society. I already get texts from Joe Rogan. I already am on a list. You're under surveillance. I was like, I'll literally go on the show live to stop getting texts from you. Well, there was also a part of that you didn't get to that you shared on social media. Yeah.

You said, this is what I said at the end of my roast set on CNN tonight that I zoomed through because I was running out of time and scared since I only have a minute left and I'm live on the. Do you want to do you want to read that or you want me to read it? Don't make me read it. I'll read it. She said she said, I figured I'd list some of the things mainstream media will never cover. The first Trump shooter didn't have any silverware in his house.

The crown prince of Saudi Arabia put money into Disney. Why is fluoride still in our water? Monsanto paid Google to skew search results. Why are so many president's chefs dead? Wow. That is... I've

I think I should get a check for $5 million for not saying Democratic chefs. I didn't know it was multiple. I thought it was just the one. I had this whole rant that was like, how come Obama's chef's mom's videos are off TikTok? Like who drowns in two inches of water? Why wasn't he wearing clothes? Like I had this rant, but I didn't want it.

it was an interesting line. You guys are comics, you know more than anyone. I think that like finding that line to where, you know, we all have to play defense right now because sometimes if you say something sane, you sound crazy, you know? Yes.

And there's stuff that's not even on the internet to back up what you're saying because it's been deleted. So if I were to say like what happened to, you know, the Obama's chef's mom's videos, people would go, she's crazy. And I also, I don't have to tell you guys, I'm sober now, but during the pandemic, I had purple hair and, you know, weed was legal in California. So it's

I also have to be careful that I can't be the ambassador for stuff like this. And people just go like, oh, she's a crazy bitch with blue hair, you know? Yeah. Okay. But now people came after you, of course, um,

And they were there's a couple of different ways they came at you. The first one is, hey, why didn't you go after Trump? Right. So you tweeted out for the dorks who are grumpy that I didn't roast Trump in the CNN set. I roasted Trump so long ago, I think in 2011 on Comedy Central. And to do that on CNN would be like shooting fish in a barrel.

A home court advantage cheap shot. There's no that's exactly right. I was there for that. You're 100 percent right about that. That's exactly right. That'd be hacky. It would just be like preaching to a choir, which is what, you know, I think a lot of these networks already do. So there's nothing dangerous about roasting on Fox News. That's where you roast Trump because that's where it's dangerous. That's right. Right.

That's exact. A hundred percent. That's right. I didn't want to get like a rally applause of like doing a safe Trump joke. You know, also there's nothing else to say about him. It's like people just tune out. It's so uninteresting. So I wanted to go to the place that there were the most eggshells and the thing that nobody said, you know, there's nothing nobody said about Trump yet. You know, like what's the things people are scared to say and why it was actually a wild experiment. Cause like I was scared.

And I was like, what am I scared of? Getting poisoned, getting shunned by a business that kind of is, you know, has annihilated itself anyway, the Hollywood business. Am I worried that pedophiles won't hire me anymore? Like, what am I scared of? I have no more couple of- Yeah, like I'm not going to get on, which by the way, I did have a-

that I, you know, I don't have to tell you guys. Years of hell gigs and corporate gigs. You got to really know how to choose your shots and not force something to kill the vibe. So it didn't make sense to say, but I did have, you know, queued up, you know, all eyes are on this show tonight. Like, you know, making fun of the ratings, but then except this show, all eyes are on the show tonight. Except when you guys mentioned balls dropping, all the producers from Nickelodeon show stopped watching. It's like you got to have

stuff loaded up that you may or may not use. I, I did put all of the political stuff at the end. It was initially at the beginning. Um, you know, but I think that that was smarter to put it later, uh,

The Hunter Biden one, I had a lot of versions of that, you know, because we've heard a lot. So I wanted to go away that was somewhat original as well. But if people are still defending Hunter Biden and defending someone who these networks have known was in a mental decline, you are not only not a Republican, not a Democrat, you're not a patriot at this point. It's not about Republican and Democrat. You're going to defend the fact that these

people knew that the most, someone with the most important job in the world had cognitive decline and you're with hiding it. I mean, it's,

Well, Whitney, hold on. Sometimes when you work as an undercover intelligence asset, you have to knowingly lie. That's why they recruit you. And that's why Anderson does it. That's why that other dipshit, they're all in on it. We just show Colbert talking to Claire Danes. It's unbelievable. Yeah. Over what she's saying. So I'm not as smart as you guys about this. I'm not as educated as you about this. So I tried to only stay in lanes that I can actually speak to know that if you are allowing a coverup of cognitive decline of

the leader of the free world, you're threatening not only lives of Republicans, but also Democrats, your own people. Everyone's going to die. You know what I mean? You don't need to be pro-choice. Everyone's going to die. I'm dumb and I get it. The country's going to be aborted. Is that what you want?

But what what what a lot of people don't realize is that journalists and all the people at CNN, they they see it as their duty to cover for the Democratic president. That's what they saw. They convinced themselves that they were fighting this existential threat. Literal Hitler. That's what they convinced themselves of. So now I have to cover for Joe Biden. I have to cover for Kamala Harris.

I have to cover for the Democrats. And exactly that's the opposite. And that's why nobody trusts them or watches them anymore. That's why that joke was so fantastic. And there are more people watching this show than are watching CNN. And so that's what... It's a mask-off moment for them. And now they have to finally admit after that debate that, yeah, you know what? The Wall Street Journal just put out an article a week or two ago. Yeah, yeah, we knew he was demented since day one. Yeah, well, we've been saying that on this fucking show since the...

debate he had in 2020 that he was demented. We knew it and we didn't stop saying it and we caught a lot of shit for it, but now we're proven right. 16 year old or something. I mean, wasn't there something where he was like creepy with a girl?

His daughter. Showering with his own daughter until she's 15, which is in her diary, which is confirmed to be her diary. Yes, it's in her diary. He's environmental. He's saving water. Yeah. I mean, look, I assume most politicians are creeps. It's just we're at a point where it's like, look, I grew up in D.C. I grew up like, you know, Clinton, you know, uh,

and Monica, we let a lot slide. We let a lot slide. And this is just too much to let slide. And I think that for me, I just was like, okay, let me just take an opportunity to say some things. I have a kid now. I'm sort of thinking in different ways. I'm sober. I'm just thinking more clearly. I'm just going like, what do I care about? What do I want to say that would matter? We're comics. We say a lot of stuff that doesn't matter. At least I do. You guys don't on your show, but

I think that it is ridiculous that our vehicles are allowed to advertise on our television. Yes. Criminal. On CNN, as a matter of fact. I'm not an expert. I'm not someone who should weigh in on that in a serious way. That's why I heard them.

But, Whitney, let me ask you, aren't aren't you I'm gobsmacked at the lack of people in comedy that I know in Hollywood that don't make those jokes that you made? Aren't you amazed what a huge lane there was for you to do those jokes and make fun of the fact that Pfizer is sponsoring the news and they can't they can't offend their advertiser, their money man? What do you make of that?

A couple things. You know, I think a lot of comedians, we come off very brave. What we do is incredibly terrifying, but it also comes from a place of insecurity, of fear of not being seen or loved or getting attention or adrenaline or whatever. So we're fearless in some ways, but the...

The upside to doing what I did on New Year's Eve, it's not that big. And the chances of it going well were very small. You know, you have to, and you guys have done it, the hell gigs, the road gigs. I've been doing this for 20 years. I mean, I did the Donald Trump roast. That was in 2011. Joan Rivers was, I think, 2009 or something. You know, it was, and there was no audience.

And it was, I couldn't hear them. They could hear me, but the umbrellas made it weird. It was live. It's just kind of like, it's very unusual that you get that kind of shot.

And I kind of was like, I'm uniquely qualified to do this. I uniquely have nothing to lose right now. I uniquely just had a kid and think it's, you know, borderline irresponsible to go on a network like CNN and just be like, so I have a kid now. Joke, joke, meaningless joke, meaningless joke. There's enough of that. And I was like, I'm, you know, those moments where you're kind of like, look, I'm not special. You know, my self-esteem isn't through the roof, but you just go like,

This is a moment in time. And also I'm someone who I think is able to go back and forth between shows like yours, thankfully, and then also mainstream shows. There's not a lot of people. Like, remember, like, people like, you know, Nate Bargatze, you know, can do it now. But, like, you know, Segura and Bert Kreischer, like, I want, like, eight, nine years ago, six years ago, tried to get them on Ellen back when that was made, you know, before –

Before you knew. When it helped, not to go on because you love Ellen or you just want to see the Island set in person. It's more that it helped them. It used to help sell tickets. So anything to help them sell tickets, we're comics, we're going to do what we have to do. And they wouldn't let them on. There was like this bifurcation of you were either a YouTube comic or you played the game and you were in the industry. I can kind of do both. So I was like, I have the opportunity to do this

How about I do something to show mainstream media that what they're doing is not working anymore and show them the reaction of how many people do want to know the truth, even if it's inconvenient, that don't want pharmaceuticals paying their journalists. Like we, there's no market for that anymore. And so I just, I think more comics don't do it because it's,

It's very rare that you get that opportunity. And why make a big mess if the feedback has been overwhelming? But I'm a female comic. I get hate so much all the time. I was like, I can handle it. You got my email? I mean, I was like, I can handle the negativity that comes my way and I will be able to handle it if it goes sideways.

How did you feel at the Trump? Because I did warm up for that. I remember it being a nightmare. Before we pay attention, Kurt, before we get to that, let's get to this. So here is the Daily Beast came after you for that set. And of course, the Daily Beast, which is a CIA infiltrated asset. And there's no doubt about that. And I'll show you the proof in a second. But they did it. They they called you a conspiracy field. Ha ha.

They said comedians wild conspiracy theory filled roast. Wild. Shock CNN host during. And so all that. And so I read the article. And this is the only part that they even talk about. It says Cummings finished her set up by firing off some wacky conspiracy theories. Of course, there was a moment for drones. Quote, I mean, they're still up there in the sky. So I guess we can rule out that they were made by Boeing, which is hilarious. Why?

It's hilarious. That's great. As well as dubious shout-outs to Disney's funding, dead White House chefs, the Boy Scouts of America, and even Trump shooter Thomas Crooks allegedly missing silverware. And so, again, all that stuff, there are dead chefs, Obama's chef, we just talked, that's very suspicious. Well,

Clinton's chef died on a hike or something. And Obama's chef drowned in like two feet of water. Wasn't he naked? The Boy Scouts... Half naked. And shoutouts to Disney's fund. I mean...

this is such a reach and a lame attempt for them to try to discredit you. And then you tweeted out, Daily Beast, what did I say? That's a conspiracy theory. I love that face that you gave him. Look at Andy's face. That's such a scared face. That's such a win. Was I wrong? Did I take the bait?

Is that exactly what they want for me? They did not want Whitney. The fact that you don't, you're like, I don't know about all this stuff. So that's damaging. It means regular people can notice something's wrong. Yes. People don't follow this stuff. So no, it's, it's actually like, I would get a food taster if I were you.

Because it's so damaging to them when somebody who's not in the realm of talking about that just notices things that are true, like the emperor has no clothes kind of things. That's the most damage. You know, I didn't think I could like anything better than Kathy Griffin trying to fake blow Anderson and him going, yeah.

but I think this is better. But I guess also if you're going to be a legitimate news organization, which by the way, I'm flattered. Don't like me. I mean, if they did like me, that's probably when I would worry. Right. But it's why not do a piece going, here's all the reasons, uh,

Whitney said what she said. Here's the evidence for it. Why don't just do the journalism and prove me wrong? And did you see who wrote it, Jimmy? Did you see who it's written by? You have to look who it's written by. Go to the writer. Grace Harrington? Who is that? Look at her job. Breaking news intern. They got their crack?

Now, Whitney, keep in mind, she didn't make the headline. They never write the headline. So they have the editor, yeah. CIA gives it to the editor and they decide, because nobody reads Daily Beast, especially people that subscribe to Daily Beast. They look at a headline that was algorithmically sent to their iPhone that they just see first. That's it. And they're using conspiracy theory because more people will get to it if they have the word conspiracy theory in it. But they also could have gone, some people think there were conspiracy theories in Whitney's roast. Here's why they're not. But again, I don't know.

Honestly, it's just, it is what it is. And I probably shouldn't have taken the bait to highlight that. But I think we're at a time where, you know, I'm not going to defend myself when people call me a cunt, whore, unfuckable, whatever. Like, that's fine. Unfunny, fine. But when you accuse someone of being a conspiracy theorist, it's a pretty amazing way to discredit, curate,

curious people that ask questions. I'm happy to be wrong. Please tell me if I'm wrong. I don't want to stay dumb. But to just call someone who's asking questions conspiracy theory, I think that's a really big epidemic that's going on right now is this eye roll.

If anyone has. That's by design. Yes. They invented conspiracy theory to do that. It's in the first line of my Wikipedia page. They call me a conspiracy theorist. And then they go on to mention things that I was right about. But they still call it conspiracies, right? Like the fake gas attacks in Syria, which the OPCW whistleblowers confirmed my reporting on that. Everything I've ever said about COVID, 100% correct. Everything about them...

So they just said it really just should be synonymous with visionary at this point. Right. You're a visionary. Well, there's that saying now that a conspiracy is more like a spoiler alert.

I like that. Yeah. And so just to let you know where that, hey, that's their flex at Daily Beast is to call anybody who goes against the establishment narrative, a conspiracy theorist, wacky. And well, here's RFK is going to tell you where they come from. There's a provision in the CIA charter that says that the CIA cannot propagandize the American people. President Obama adopted in 2016.

that essentially reopened the door for Operation Mockingbird so that the CIA began once again to to propagandize America. How are they doing that? High level intelligence officials are or people associated with the intelligence industry

are running those journals like Noah Schlackman, who runs Olingstone, who came from Daily Beast. Daily Beast was run by John Avalon, who has deep ties to the intelligence agencies. So there you go. Just wanted to let you know, don't feel bad. I'm going to say something wild that I just remembered. So how do these people make all their money?

I happen to know, I'm just not going to say the person's name for a million reasons, that someone paid off the Daily Beast to not run a story that would have been a pretty wild takedown of someone in Hollywood, paid them a ton of money to not run it. I already know who it is.

Okay. I'm not saying either. Don't keep me involved, but a tremendous amount of money. So they go, okay, we'll take your money and we won't do good journal. We'll take money to not do good journalism instead of actually, you know, so, and then the New York times, I think didn't, I don't want to, they, they took a bunch of money to not publish something too. So money and they actually are going to do a takedown on you. Some journalism that would be valuable if you just pay them off.

you know, they'll take the money. So the court of public opinion is corrupt and you can pay off the jurors and the, uh, the judge and everything. I'm not going to say anything either. Cause I would like to be in a Tom Hanks movie. And, um, I'm not saying, what else did they say about Oprah? It's something, Oh, I don't know. Maybe. I mean, those like, you know, I don't know enough about a lot of that. Here's the thing. People with me, they're always like, you must've gone to the diddy parties and you must know.

Snitches don't get invited. You know, did I ever tell you that I tried to get into Scientology and they didn't let me? No. I know. Didn't you go? Modi told me you had a Kabbalah meeting and you go, I don't know what this is, but it looks too expensive for me. It was what I did. So I did that show Punk'd when I first moved to LA, 2003. I got after scale. I had like literally made $400 a month. And, um,

I Ashton Kutcher was married to, to be more. I went, they invited me and I'm sitting in the circle. It's like Cameron Diaz. Like, and I just was like, I know I cannot afford whatever the fuck this is. Uh, a red string bracelet can't afford it. Um, but I did when I first moved to LA, a friend of mine was getting, uh,

like courted for it. And they would basically go after people who were about to get really famous because that's a machine where if you were in a movie and you got this publicist and you got this manager, you were going to be a star. It was just working for you. And a friend of mine,

uh, invites me to brunch with her. And she was just given an address by an actress who is a Scientologist known Helena Christensen. And we get there, we pull up to this castle, you know, it Kurt on Franklin. And I'm just moved to LA. I'm like hillbilly white trash bitch. And I wrote, and I'm like,

this is Hollywood. Cause you go to Hollywood and you're like, this is a shithole. Like I wanted, I came to Hollywood, baby. Like a glitz. And there's like homeless people shitting on the walk of fame. I was like, I get to the Scientology castle and I'm like, this is what I thought Hollywood was. I'm in whatever this is. Fucking sign me up. I go to the brunch. There's this huge brunch. The guys from, from famous people, Giovanni Rabisi is there. The guy from lost is there. I'm like, this is wild.

what I, yes. How do I sign up? My friend's like, we got to get out of here. I was like, no, I live here now. I'll take the test. I'll see the aliens. Who's dick do I need to stop? Danny Masterson can rate me. I'll say, I won't say no, or I'll say no if that's what he wants. Did you put that in writing? That's not, okay.

And then were not let me in. And because I have snitch energy. We're comics. We're not the type of people. Yeah, they profile you. You got to show you're cool. The ditty party, you're not really in a check, so you weren't going to be invited to the cool part of that. I grew up in an alcoholic home where you had to say what the elephant was in the living room. I can't keep secrets. I can't walk on eggshells. And this is, you know, something that I was thinking about doing on the roast of going like,

This is like every... You know, like there was always a house on the street that you saw the screaming and the fighting. And now every house is that, it feels like. Yeah, right. Like everyone is just...

This is starting to break. And I think it's actually exciting. And what you guys do is a really big part of it. So did you, so what, how did the, did somebody say anything to you afterwards? How did the, the two hosts, Anderson and what's called the re respond to you at the commercial break?

I got to give them props. Like they, I think Anderson, I don't know him very well, but he also was, they drank, you know? So I did go on a little bit later and we were in umbrellas. So I'm unclear how much they did here. I would throw stuff to them. I was like trying to kind of get reactions from them, but I was like plowing through it. Like people, I'm on like Adderall or something, but I was like, I just got to blow through this as quickly as possible. I think I said Chuck Schumer instead of the Trump shooter. Yeah.

So people, like I said, Chuck Schumer doesn't have any silverware in his house. He'll catch fire. He can't touch it. That's a weird conspiracy theory is my guess. But I just went as quickly as possible. I was trying to just like, I could sort of feel energy of them, you know, they didn't sign up for a,

Right. I mean, before that they were doing quizzes about mudang, the hippo, you know, they're talking about wicked. Like it was, it felt like a deserve it so much. It's great. They deserve, they deserve it. A hundred percent. And by the way, the American people deserve to see someone say that on CNN. And so you performed a great service. And like, go for it. Like, just say it. Like, I just got sick of being scared. I got exhausted about biting my tongue. And I just like, again, even if I'm wrong, I'm like,

Like, why don't I throw something out there and I'll correct it later if I'm wrong, but I can't keep just being scared of this. Like, what even is it? Like getting canceled? That's not even a thing. I don't even know what's good. I think the only thing scarier than censorship is self-censorship. Wow. Well said. Like I'm self-censoring and I'm complaining about censorship and it's all in here. You know, I kind of was like, how dare I complain about censorship if I'm the one censoring myself?

Well, you know, I during covid just to talk a little inside comedy, it broke my heart when we went back into the clubs and I would see comedians shame people for doing your own research, which means don't question authority, which is the exact opposite of doing comedy. If you're a comedian and you're telling people, don't do your own research, you're telling them not to read because that's all doing your own research means is you're fucking reading.

And it just broke my heart. And a lot of comedians let me down. And so it's just was so heartening to see you do what you did. And it was like me, me getting my faith back into comedy and me. I get to cheer on a comedian standing up to the establishment. It really maybe I make too much out of it.

but it means a lot to me. It's just being a comic, but people don't do it when they get in that situation. It's literally just what you should do. Yes. I agree. I don't think I should get- Guess who dropped the ball? Most people. That's correct, Kurt. I don't think I should get points for it, and it's sad that I'm getting points for this, and it's sad that more people don't do it, but I know how that scary feeling it is, and it is

and I know how easy it is to not do it. It's so much easier to not do it. I want a Jesleneck to see it. That's all. Oh, he already said, he said, if you talk about conspiracy theorists, you're just trying to get a new audience. It's like...

Like, yeah, why wouldn't what? First of all, I'm always more people. Why not? People that question connect with comedy fans like what? I also don't care if I alienate the ones I have now because I say what I want. So I just take who I get. If your fan base isn't changing, you're not growing as a comic. Oh, well, so put that on a T-shirt.

Yeah. I love people. I get the criticism of, oh, you're doing clickbait. No, clickbait, I'm putting a headline on a video to try to catch people's attention. But when you click on that video, it's full of substance. Clickbait is when it's empty and there isn't anything in there. By the way, you know what? Yes, I am. Guilty as charged. I want people to click on this. Guilty as charged. That's right. Guilty as charged.

When a movie comes out, you're not like, you guys are putting posters up. You're poster mating people. Yeah, you want people to see it. You just want people to hear what you're saying. I do. Yeah, I don't want to yell in a basement like Marc Maron in a garage. Yeah, I want people to see what I'm doing. You know,

I do, by the way, to your own research thing, I started doing this little thing on TikTok that's like, because you get kicked off TikTok. We just got kicked off yesterday. They canceled our TikTok channel yesterday. So we're doing something. Yeah.

Yeah, I have this 9-11, this guy who was in the military talked about 9-11 and it was taken down a couple times. It's on Twitter now. But I started doing this thing of like doing my own research and I was like literally at the point where I, when I was in New York, I was feeding the pigeons to pigs.

So I was like, drone or not drone? If they're eating, they're probably real. Feed all the birds around you to see if they're cameras. That's how you do your own research. Real pigeon, real pigeon? I wait for them to shit to know if they're real.

So let me say this one. So the last time I got excited about a comedian on CNN was I was sick. I don't know what year it was, 2018. And for New Year's, I had a flu. So I stayed home and I was watching. That's when Kathy Griffin was still on, I think. And she said she turns to Anderson.

And she said, do you have any New Year's resolutions? And he says, yeah, well, I guess I should, you know, spend more time in the gym and hit the treadmill. And she goes, that's really interesting. You know, most journalists would say, maybe I should learn a foreign language or learn about this culture. You know,

about getting your abs how does that make you a better and it was like she didn't realize what she had done but she really blew the roof off of what cnn really is it's just pretty boys talking into a camera he's not a real journalist he's thinking about his abs he's not thinking about becoming a better journalist and i thought that was the best work she'd ever done on there and this this tops that this was better and honestly i must say like anderson because i was in this place of

I have nothing but respect for him. We come from very different places. He's a Vanderbilt. I had a bunch of jokes about that. I was like, you know what? I don't need to go after Anderson here. But right before I went on, he said that his favorite book of the year or a book that he loved this year was the biography of Bill Gates. And I was like, no, no, no.

Are you kidding? I had to bite my tongue so hard. I wouldn't be like, oh, did he talk in the book at all about how he bought apple cider vinegar? He bought Bragg's apple cider vinegar so that he could put his appeal shmegma apples into the apple cider vinegar. Like I had, oh God. Did he dish on Epstein Island at all?

I mean, it was like this guy. I have this theory. I know it's ridiculous. But the fact that like he didn't create Apple, Steve Jobs did. Now he has to own like apples like he's. That's his thing is apples. He puts a covering on the coating on Apple. I'm like, it's just he's obsessed. And then he bought Apple. He can't stop.

I just think it's amazing that when I hear people say like, but like Bill Gates is some kind of a do-gooder instead of what he actually is, is, uh, uh, he's a monopolist and a megalomaniac who wants to control everything. Uh, that's when he said we shouldn't plant trees. Yeah.

Yes. I don't even think a lizard would say that. I don't think he's a lizard person because lizards like trees. Are we the science people or not? Yeah, the science is that you plant trees, it eats carbon. That's the whole point of that. But also, science is fashion. Science gets debunked every five or six years. Remember when soy milk was good for us? Now half of my girlfriend's tits got cut off and half my guy friends have tits. I mean, that was just a...

Well, that just sounds like a good economy that is supply and demand. But I also, I did on my podcast this thing where I volunteered to jump on the grenade and suck Bill Gates' dick and be his Lauren Sanchez so that he'll stop making diseases. That's not enough. I was like, he just needs, because Jeff Bezos kind of chilled once he started getting someone, you know. And so I was like, I volunteer as tribute to be. You think you're the first to make that offer to Bill Gates? He's not really. He's probably not even.

Well, you know, you understand? Oh yeah, that's right. I'm like 30 years too old. Yeah. I mean, I try to tell people, you know, when the devil comes, he's not going to have horns and a pitchfork. He's going to be wearing glasses and a crew neck sweater. And that's what we're living. And they go, whoa, no, he's just trying to help people with vaccines. Okay. That's right. I knew this would happen. I knew I called it. The world fell apart as soon as we stopped bullying the nerds. Ah, yeah.

That's what Oppenheimer was about. How you got bully nerds. They should have left them in lockers where they fucking belonged. We were right. Yeah. Because they can't understand human emotions. So they just get technocratic, real hardcore. And they have no... It's like the people who swat. That's the ultimate nerd mentality. That you could swat someone. Jimmy, there's one thing. I know you... I'll go. You said something about earlier comics that came after comics. And they're... To me, that's a special kind of...

That's a special kind of nastiness. And Ari Shafir said something on Rogan once where he said, you know, Ari of all people, like, you know, we really saw who people were when he did that Kobe tweet and stuff like that. And he said, like, comics, it's your job to hold the line. And that's really kind of the...

what I stick to whenever stuff like this happens. It is our job to hold the line. If you're not brave enough to be one of the ones in the front, that's totally fine. But like get out of our way if that's what we're doing. Why do you want to stage if you're not brave enough? This is the whole thing. It's just the job. The job is to be the one that's not going with the thing and alone, not an improv group, not yes and. Yeah.

refusing. By the way, there's always going to be mediocre people in every job. There's always going to be the braver ones. Like you wouldn't be you if they weren't them. Fine. I think that like, there's obviously echelons within comedy and we don't even need to deal with the people that aren't brave enough to do what we do. I think it's just a matter of just get out of the way. And the ones that are holding the line, we got to all just kind of stick together. And like, we're, we're the ones that get put up front and you know, the, the way that wolves move, like the wolf packs, um,

You know, they put certain ones up front, certain ones, you know, in the middle. And one in the back, it's really fascinating the way that they move. So I just think that like, you know, they serve a purpose too. The people at UCB need to laugh, you know, they get fine. You guys can have them go be the dorks. We don't even have to acknowledge the dorks. It's, it's not. I'm just so, I just can't take it when I see comedians laughing,

reinforcing the status quo instead of finding the hole and poking their finger through it. That's what they're supposed to do. We have corporate media to prop up the establishment. I don't need you to do that. And I don't certainly need you shitting. A lot of it's had to do with Trump and it just wrecked a lot of people. The time I really broke

It was a couple months ago because I was like, let me stay out of politics. Jimmy does that. Kurt does that. Bill Maher does it. It's not my I don't I just don't want to speak on shit. I'm not an expert on, but I am an expert on hypocrisy. So that's when I started being able to say something is when I posted about Tim Walz.

And the fact that I found out that he had gone to China. Yes. Yeah. Over 30 times. And I did a whole section on it on my podcast posted about it. I had to take it down. People were calling me racist. People were – I did – I was like – he did go with boys. I can make that joke. Is that racist? You know what I mean? Yeah. And so he went –

First of all, how does a teacher even afford to go 30 times to, why did he get fired? Why can no one answer any of these questions? And why am I a monster if I just ask them? And it's weird. And even if it's, he should at least be able to say, yes, I went to China 30 times. So I am uniquely qualified to be able to fight our adversary China. Like at least-

Down the hall from each other because they had an uneven number of students, so they couldn't spend the night together on their honeymoon. Why am I in trouble? I'm not the one that went to China 30 times. You know how hard it is to go to China 30 times? Very hard. I mean, that's your full job. Not even Hunter, I think. So I got so, and when I would ask people about it, and it was just like, you don't even want to.

to ask this question. You don't even want to know the answer. That's scary to me. It's not conspiracy. Again, conspiracies are things that happen before the crimes. Once the crime's done, it's not a conspiracy. It's done. Yeah. So like, I've been to China 24 hours. I was good. I was like, we're good. I went for 24 hours and that was, there's nothing to do. What are we doing? At least make it your strength and go, I've been, I know how to deal with them. They're doing a lot of shit. Yeah.

here's who you can trust and here's who you can't trust. Like, it just felt really odd to me because if he had done that, I'd be like, I'm listening. I'm listening. If someone's like, I understand our number one adversary inside and out and I'm going to bring production back to America on this and this and this, this is how they get us. They've got the spot farms, whatever it is. But he just pretended like,

It wasn't happening. Because guess what? They're not our adversary. They make our shoes and viruses and phones. I don't know why they're calling them our adversary. We're back over there making more viruses. Yes. Apparently, we're cool with them. But they keep pushing this idea that there's a war because there's no such thing as borders. It's just companies and alliances and what have you. They have to find a reason to keep funneling money upward into the military industrial complex.

And now they're sending money and stuff to Taiwan to fight against China. It's just the same thing with Ukraine, same thing with Iraq, Syria, Libya. It's the same story over and over. And people, they keep falling for it, left and right. It's just amazing to me. But Whitney, I know more about this than me, but nothing sent chills down my spine like Michael Cena apologizing. For what? Yes.

Because he acknowledged that Taiwan existed. That's right. Oh, yeah. John Cena, not Michael Cena. John Cena. What did I say? Michael? Oh, shit. I'm sorry. I've been kicked out of Hollywood 24 hours ago. I don't know anything. Yeah. We does a lot of business there.

Anyway, you guys are the best. Let me not get in the way of your awesome show. I really appreciate you coming on. Thanks. It's great to have fun down at the mothership. And I hope to. Come by. Come by. Kurt, I better see you while I'm here. I have a spot tonight, so I have to go by. I'm there. Shit. Okay. All right. I'm just, I'm at the condo. All right, everybody. What's your, what's your website? Whitney Cummings.com. What? Did I just give my location like a maniac? Nobody knows where the condo is. Just Whitney Cummings.com.

Okay, Whitney Cummings.com. I'm on tour. Love you guys. Love you. Thank you so much. Hey, you know, here's another great way you can help support the show is you become a premium member. We give you a couple of hours of premium bonus content every week, and it's a great way to help support the show. You can do it by going to JimmyDoreComedy.com, clicking on Join Premium.

It's the most affordable premium program in the business. And it's a great way to help put your thumb back in the eye of the bastards. Thanks for everybody who was already a premium member. And if you haven't, you're missing out. We give you lots of bonus content. Thanks for your support. I don't know if you saw this. Stephen Colbert cuts off Claire Danes before she. Now, this is, I think, from 2018 when Trump was president.

This is way before that. I told you my friend who used to be the editor over at Daily Beast and Jezebel and whatnot, she told me right when Obama was going out, she'd been invited to the White House. All these young reporters, they were invited to some White House thing, and Obama told them, hey, I'm really worried that Trump is compromised by Russia. I just wanted to tell you.

So I didn't think anything of it at the time. I go, whatever. Now I see what it is. So they've been entrenching themselves. And that's what Claire Danes is speaking about. So this is so Claire Danes was on with Stephen Colbert when Trump was president. And she talks about the intelligence community, meaning the CIA, allying itself with legacy media during Trump's first term. Watch Stephen Colbert. Now, we all know that he's the tool of all tools.

Do you know he's an asset to this degree? Yeah, he's an asset. I didn't know he was an asset to this degree. Yeah. I should have put together with the Jon Stewart cutoff. Whoopi's trained to fart over a point and he just stops it. Watch this. Okay, so now one of the things that you do, do you do this every season where you go get to spend some time with some actual spies? We do. It's like the cool. So they go to spend a whole week.

With CIA spies. Yeah. What? Why would you? What? It's part of my job. It's like a Marvel movie. I sense that up.

Okay, so now one of the things that you do, do you do this every season where you go get to spend some time with some actual spies? We do. It's like the coolest part of my job. Who sets that up? Who calls the CIA and goes, we just like to come in and hang out with you guys? Yeah, so Henry Burmel, who is one of our founding fathers of Homeland, one of our writers, passed away a number of years ago, but his dad was in the CIA.

As if Stephen Colbert doesn't have a CIA handler and as if he doesn't know that there are CIA embedded all through Hollywood. As if he doesn't know this. How do you set that up? How do you get a hold of the CIA? No, they've already gotten a hold of them. They downlaid the information right in Stephen's throat before the show.

CIA and his cousin was a mentee of his father's and was also in the CIA. Very accomplished. That's weird. Oh my God. That is okay. The enormity of what she just said. It's one long CIA. And

That means that this is one of the worst. Listen, oh my God, that's really bad. I didn't even notice that the first time. Was a mentee of his father's and was also in the CIA, a very accomplished person there. And he recently retired. But in his retirement, he curates this week-long spy camp for us producers and writers. The producers and writers of the Homeland Show. These guys who were CIA their whole life, they bring us to spy camp.

He's a mentee. What could possibly be the nefarious reason for them to do that? It's just for shits and giggles. Well, Jimmy, that's generational CIA, so that means he's the mentee of people who were doing the original MKUltra. Yes. That means he was trained by the original evil fuckers they pretend aren't what they are now. Right. Watch this. Yeah. Is it like, you know... Yeah, so we park ourselves in a club in Georgetown and talk to, like, real...

And, you know, people in the intelligence community. I just love watching Stephen Colbert pretending to be interested in what it's like to be hanging out with CIA agents when that's all he does as soon as the show is over. Yeah, he puts them cold storage. Really? What is this all about now, CIA? After the show, they changed it. Real...

And, you know, people in the intelligence community and the State Department and journalists and people who really. What do they tell you that like what's the most surprising? Journalists, State Department people, CIA spooks. Yeah. And writers for television shows, producers for television shows. They all come together. Isn't that weird? Yeah. So, you know, when like conspiracy or UFO nuts, they'll say they disclose stuff in fiction.

Don't think it's other disclosing stuff. They're feeding stuff into the fiction for predictive programming meaning getting you primed For the stuff that they want to do so watch like that's right apple that stupid Marvel Black Panther movie with the good guy CIA agent who just wants to help this African country join the world stage there's the underlying propaganda and that and that's the prime you to think it's good when these absolute depraved satanic fucks go steal shit from other countries and

So let's watch. Whoa!

The intelligence community, she's now letting the cat out of the bag. And Stephen Colbert panics. He panics.

Why? He's panicking because he's been told not to let that out. And he uses a technique called whoopie farting. I think that he's been put in the awkward position of being a handler and he's a program puppet himself. So it's awkward for him to have to be the handler for this other puppet. I'll bet you both of them. I'll bet good doge coin. Go ahead. What? Both of them what?

They have taser scars from the program somewhere in their body. So this could not be, this should be a huge story. Should have been a huge story when it happened. I just saw it on Twitter the other day. This is, this should, this should make your hair stand on end. And the intelligence world and, and the intelligence community was suddenly kind of allying itself with journalists, which usually they're not. How long ago did you start shooting this? Oh, no, no, no.

Look how uncomfortable he is. She goes, oh, she goes, the intelligence community started allying itself with journalists. How long have, how long, when did you start shooting this? Ha ha. Whoa. Stop talking. That is unbelievable. Yeah, she's probably punished hard for that. And watch, yes, he, watch, and watch, watch his body language. I want you to watch his body language. Watch his body language. How long ago did you start shooting this, this season?

How long ago did you start shooting this? Why is this? You see that? How long ago? This is worse than Jon Stewart saying the virus is made in a lab, which it definitely was. You remember when Jon Stewart said the, yeah, he had to stop that. Yeah. Look at this. Oh, oh, oh.

It's me. It's me. Here, let me play it without interruption. Let's watch the whole thing. So now one of the things that you do, do you do this every season where you go get to spend some time with some actual spies? We do. It's like the coolest part of my job. Who sets that up? Who calls the CIA and goes, we just like to come in and hang out with you guys? Yeah, so Henry

Henry Burmel, who is one of our founding fathers of Homeland, one of our writers, passed away a number of years ago. But his dad was in the CIA and his cousin was a mentee of his father's and was also in the CIA, a very accomplished person there. And he recently retired. But in his retirement, he curates this week-long spy camp for us producers and writers. Really? Yeah. Is it like, you know... Yeah, so we park ourselves in a club in Georgetown and talk to, like...

Real. And, you know, people in the intelligence community and the State Department and journalists and people who really. What do they tell you that like what's the most surprising thing that they've told you about their jobs or something you would need to know? Well, every year it's different. Right. We've been at it for a while and the climate has been has changed. But this year it was all about the climate has changed. I mean, Trump's president. Oh, not the climate is not climate change. Yeah.

You know, the distrust between the administration and the intelligence world and and the intelligence community was suddenly kind of allying itself with journalists, which usually they're not. How long ago did you start shooting this this season? I'm sorry. So she says there's a distrust between the administration and the intelligence community, meaning the intelligence community's boss.

The civilian elected leader of the military and the intelligence, the civilian control that were it's in our constitution that there that that's the part that there's a distrust between the people, the the the people that have been elected by the electorate, the citizens of the United States to run the intelligence community and run the military. There's a distrust there.

Yeah. Between them. And now the people who the people who are elected by the civilians to run it are now the people they don't trust are now allying with journalists.

And he's like, whoa, stop. Whoa. Even this dipshit could see how bad that sounds. Look at that. Look at that. Look, look at that. Look, look at her. And look at her brain. She's like, oh, look, look at her blurting out the secret with with that look like a malfunctioning piece of equipment, which is what she is. So that's Stephen Colbert trying to stop an inconvenient truth that just popped up on his show.

And he's doing a whoopee. He's doing a whoopee fart and waving his hand around. Project whoopee fart, in effect. AC caught this. You can see his body language immediately shift to, oh, shit. I love her body language of just a dingbat blathering nonsense. Well, a thing that they didn't program her to keep a secret.

Look at her face. And then the CIA went and took over journalism. So just so you know, what they're revealing here is that the president is not in charge. That means you're not in charge and your vote don't count. That's what that's what all that means, that the president is not in charge and that the people who run our intelligence community and our military, they're the ones deciding what to do. And they get in bed with the media, the journalists, the TV shows, entertainment, Hollywood, whatever.

Community is a wrong word for them. They're a coven. The intelligence coven. The intelligence coven. Yes. And here, thanks to our friend James Lee, he has...

How does this happen? How is the intelligence community legally allowed to propagandize Americans? Bobby Kennedy's going to let you know. There's a provision in the CIA charter that says that the CIA cannot propagandize the American people. President Obama adopted in 2016 that essentially reopened the door for Operation Mockingbird so that the CIA began once again to propagandize Americans. How are they doing that?

High-level intelligence officials are, or people associated with the intelligence industry, are running those journals, like Noah Schlackman, who runs Olingstone, who came from Daily Beast. Daily Beast was run by John Allen, who has deep ties to the intelligence agencies. But even journals like Smithsonian and National Geographic

nature, the Washington Post, the New York Times appeared to be compromised by the CIA. We know from the Twitter files that both the FBI and CIA were operating portals within the Twitter and Facebook

that allowed them to manipulate information and to de-platform people and to, you know, silence certain people that they didn't like in the social media. Operation Mockingbird was an operation to compromise American journalists. There were some 400 editors, journalists,

From all the largest publications, the New York Times had been compromised. The Washington Post was basically... What do you mean by compromised? Well, they were functioning... The high-level people at those journals were actually working for the agency or had signed secrecy agreements with the CIA. And at CBS, ABC, NBC, after 75, when it all came out, during the church committee hearings...

The CIA promised that it would no longer compromise American journalists. It continued the program to compromise journalists all over the world. And today, the CIA is the biggest funder of journalism in the world. How about present day? They fund it through USAID.

In that little twilight zone before you fall asleep every night, I'm thinking about what I'm going to do in the first weeks when I get into office about fixing these agencies one at a time. You know, that's something I'm excited about. If you like this video and you want. So here I first saw this Max Blumenthal tweeted this out. What? This is a CIA agent letting you know exactly how they manipulate journalists.

Another thing is to disseminate propaganda to influence people's minds. And this is a major function of the CIA. And unfortunately, of course, it overlaps into the gathering of information. You have contact with a journalist

You will give him true stories, you'll get information from him, you'll also give him false stories. Did you buy his confidence with true stories? You buy his confidence and set him up. We've seen this happen recently with Jack Anderson, for example, who has his intelligence sources and he has also admitted that he's been set up by them. Every fifth story just simply being false.

You also work on their human vulnerabilities to recruit them in a classic sense, to make them your agent so that you can control what they do so you don't have to set them up sort of, you know, by putting one over on them so you can say, "Here, plant this one next Tuesday." Can you do this with responsible reporters? Yes, the church committee brought it out in 1975 and then Woodward and Bernstein put an article in Rolling Stone a couple of years later

400 journalists cooperating with the CIA, including some of the biggest names in the business, to consciously introduce the stories into the press. Walter Cronkite, definitely, because he's the Bohemian Grove narrator at their weird ceremony. Oh, really? All your faves are industry plants. By industry, I mean military industry. So...

Here's one more. Uh, David Summer says, this makes me wonder how much Colbert himself was directly involved in coordinating these psyops. I remember when him, Seth Meyers, Trevor Noah, and John Oliver repeated almost verbatim Nancy Pelosi's talking points about the border crisis being caused by Trump all on the same night. Yeah. Yeah. Uh,

Stephen Colbert is not so much James Bond as he is more Bond's medicated foot powder because now he's on the run. Okay. All right. That was quite, I don't think I'll ever get over this picture. I mean, Colbert is blown away looking at her speech. And I love it. Look at her mid-blurt speech.

Look at her face. Yes. Your country's fake, everybody. Just so you know. Immediately, she starts to tell him that the CIA is working with journalists. And all of a sudden, he's like, hey, what did you start shooting?

Yeah. What did you, what did, by the way, let me, let's totally get off. Let's completely get off this topic while my, before my more on audience comes to. Steph wants to see it one more time. Okay, so now one of the things that you do, do you do this every season where you go get to spend some time with some actual spies? We do, we do. It's like the coolest part of my job. Who sets that up? Who calls the CIA and goes, we just like to come in and hang out with you guys? Yeah, so Henry

Brumell, who is one of our founding fathers of Homeland, one of our writers, passed away a number of years ago, but his dad was in the CIA, and his cousin was a mentee of his father's and was also in the CIA, a very accomplished person there. And he recently retired, but in his retirement, he curates this week-long spy camp for us producers and writers. Really? Yeah. Is it like, you know... Yeah, so we park ourselves in a club in Georgetown and talk to, like...

And, you know, people in the intelligence community and the State Department and journalists and people who really... What do they tell you? What's the most surprising thing that they've told you about their jobs or something you would need to know? Well, every year it's different, right? We've been at it for a while and the climate has changed. But this year it was all about, you know, the distrust between the administration and the intelligence world and...

And the intelligence community was suddenly kind of allying itself with journalists, which usually they're not. How long ago did you start shooting this season? Wow. And suddenly they started allying themselves with journalists, which previously they had not. Yeah. That story I'll never forget now because she said Obama said that. I was like, oh, that's cool. You got to be Obama. Didn't put together anything at the time.

Then I realized what Obama's doing with this young crop of impressionable millennials. Daddy said he's worried about Russia. So they're, don't worry, Obama. We wish you were still the president. We'll just do, you don't have to let him in on the plan.

Oh, my buddy Aaron the lobbyist has told me Claire Danes is Yale, which is a major CIA recruiting campus. So let me tell you what that says to me. She's a definite monarch mind control person. Yale, CIA, 100%. Colbert's there in a handler capacity right now. So you're looking at a freeze frame of Project Monarch falling apart in front of your very eyes. Yeah. All right. We're going to start popping off more of these people. All right.

Hey, become a premium member. Go to JimmyDoreComedy.com. Sign up. It's the most affordable premium program in the business. All the voices performed today are by the one and only, the inimitable Mike McRae. He can be found at MikeMcRae.com. That's it for this week. You be the best you can be, and I'll keep being me.

Do not freak out.