the grief is killing me
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Hello, everybody. Welcome to another episode of Christ with Coffee on Ice. I am your host, Allie Yost. It is an honor to be your host, and I am so grateful to be with you guys right now. I was not planning on recording today, but the Holy Spirit just kind of

kind of tugged at me and I made sure that I wasn't just like doing something I wasn't emotionally capable, physically, spiritually. You know, I don't ever want to step out of God's will, of course. And so I was like, God, are you sure I'm not just being like, because sometimes y'all, this is something you need to know about me if you don't already.

And I can be very spontaneous. Sometimes that's really fun and it's great. But also sometimes I feel like I can do it out of emotion where I'm like, yeah, I can do it. Let's do it, God. And I like didn't run it by him first. And that's ended up biting me in the butt sometimes or then I'm exhausted. And I'm like, man, I really shouldn't have pushed myself like that.

You know how you really feel ambitious to do things in the moment and then once you're halfway through, you're like, wow, I actually don't know if this was a good idea. That happens sometimes with spontaneity. Is that a word? Right. But he gave me the green light today. And so we're here. And I feel like I'm sitting down with my family. Like, I just love you guys so much.

and I'm just so grateful for this community. And I think what we're gonna talk about today is gonna be healing for a lot of us listening, but it's also gonna be really good for me too. So if this is something that you are actively walking through, just know that you are not alone. Before we get into anything, I just wanna say we do have our iced coffee, even though it is literally almost December. I say that because I have iced coffee like year round.

Like I really do be having iced coffee while it's cold outside. I'll enjoy a hot coffee from time to time, but we do have our coffee on ice. But most importantly, we have our Christ. We do have Jesus with us. We got our book with us, our holy book, the holy Bible. I would also really love to pray us into this episode to just welcome the Lord, preparing our hearts.

and just keeping us tender and keeping us in a place of just being able to receive his love and his comfort. So Jesus, I just thank you that you are here with us right now. God, I thank you for your comfort. I thank you for your compassion. And I thank you for your heart.

I thank you that even through the brokenness of this world and the heartache that we have to go through because of that brokenness, you never abandon us, that you don't promise us an easy life. You don't promise us that we won't go through hardships and loss and grief, but you do promise us that you are with us and you are next to us and you are holding us as we go through these hard times. And so Lord,

I just lift this episode up to you, God. I lift up every single listener. I lift up my friend on the other end. If they are going through any type of loss, Jesus, I just pray that you comfort them. I pray that they feel the love of the Father in this episode. And I pray that they feel so seen and loved by you. Not even just me. Not me at all, actually. I pray that they feel this love and comfort from you. And they feel seen by you, Jesus. In your very mighty name, amen.

So, today we are going to be talking about grief, which we have never talked about on my podcast before. And I think that's honestly because I don't know if I've ever really walked through grief with the Lord before, but I will just give a little bit of a life update. My cousin, Kelly, is a

passed away in a tragic motorcycle accident. And she was, ah, I would love to actually honor her really quick. Can I tell you guys about sweet Kelly? Okay. Ooh, okay. She was such an embodiment of love. That woman would love anything

you more than you probably deserved. She didn't believe in giving up on people. I genuinely believe on that. I think that it took a lot for Kelly to actually let people go or to give up on them because of how big of a heart she had. And she had such a purity about her and like a childlikeness about her, no matter how old she got. She just was such a goofy,

fun, loving human being. And she was never afraid to just be herself, especially around family. Like I just have so many memories of her just using the funniest voices and just being a freaking goof. I won't do it right now because it'll just make me cry. But she had this one voice that she would do with her dog. Okay, maybe I can do it. She'd be like, that was like this little, her dog's name was Lacey, but that was the voice she would do. She'd be like,

And, yeah, she just was the most incredible human being. And she really was like a big sister to me. I've always been the big sister in my immediate family. I have my younger sister, Ashley. But she really was like a big sister to me. And I just remember thinking she was like the coolest person ever growing up. She was just the coolest freaking older cousin. Like, she was just the coolest person.

Cousin ever. You'd go into her bedroom and her bedroom was like the ultimate like teenage girl bedroom. She had posters of Britney Spears.

The Spice Girls, Hello Kitty. She just was cool, y'all. She just was cool. Like my older cousin Kelly wore chokers, so then I wore chokers. Like I really looked up to her so much. And we just have such sweet memories together of her just driving me everywhere, blasting Britney Spears in the car or in sync.

on our way to the mall to go shopping, like ultimate girl's girl, girly girl. And she also had just recently become a mom. So she has a three-year-old little boy and she was just like the best mom. And so I have never had to go through this type of loss with the Lord before. I've felt grief before, but it's been different.

having a relationship with Jesus and inviting him in my grief. And so I will just say that if anybody is going through any type of grief, to please invite the Lord in. It's so painful and it almost like hurts to let him in because you feel his compassion so much that you're almost like, ugh.

Like, please, you're going to make me weep. Jesus, stop. Like, you know how you're hurting? You could be dealing with something in that day. I don't know. You're just like hurting internally. And then you just meet someone. It could be a stranger. It could be a family member. I don't know. And they just look at you with such love in their eyes. And they're like, they genuinely are like, how are you doing? And like that type of compassion and love just makes you break the freak down.

Almost to the point where it's like you don't even want it. You're like, oh, stop. You're like being really compassionate and kind to me and I can't stand it because it's just gonna like make you break, you know? And I just feel like that's Jesus. Like that has been Jesus through this time of mourning where I see his face and I see the way he's broken for me. And I'm like, please don't do that, Jesus, because you're just gonna make me cry even more, you know? And

but that's who he is. And we can't push that type of compassion and love away just because we don't want to feel it. Like just because we don't want to feel the pain. I have felt myself through this process, like try to kind of shove that away.

Because it's like pouring rubbing alcohol on a wound. Like letting Jesus in really feels like rubbing alcohol on a wound and it stings. But also it's healing, you know, like it stings. But obviously rubbing alcohol is what cleanses the wound and gets rid of infection. And it helps the healing process. It actually makes the healing process go quicker and

but it hurts so bad as you're applying it, right? So like that's the only thing I can really compare it to with inviting Jesus into your healing is like it literally stings so bad, but it's so healing and it's necessary in the healing process of grief.

Grief is just so weird, y'all. Like, I don't even understand it. I can't wrap my mind around it to make it make sense because at least the type of grief I've been going through is it is so up and down. I go from feeling really numb and almost in denial or just not feeling anything. Like, I'm like, I don't feel anything. I'm just numb. I don't really have a lot in me. I'm just kind of like, mmm.

I literally don't know how else to explain it other than numbness. You go through these moments of numbness to then feeling it all at once, and then it just goes in waves like that, where the grief just hits you like a semi and you are in physical pain over it to then nothing at all. What the heck is that? What the heck is that?

is that grief is the weirdest thing i've ever experienced in my life it just doesn't make sense to my brain but i guess it doesn't have to make sense you just have to feel it like i felt the lord tell me that we are not supposed to make sense of grief because grief was never supposed to be for us like this type of loss grief death was never a part of god's plan this is the result of brokenness in the world this is the result of sin and when i heard the news about kelly i

I couldn't even get mad at God. I just got mad at the devil and just the sin and the brokenness of the world. Like this genuinely is the result. Broken humanity is, you guys. And when you see it for what it is, like when you see that, I don't know. It's just like, it's like, wow, this really is the result of sin. And it's crazy because...

We were just talking about a couple episodes how our choices, like the choices that we make, the things that we decide to do that go against the law of God is a rippling effect. Like our sin actually changes people for the rest of their lives. And so grief is confusing and it doesn't make sense because it was never a part of God's plan for us.

Like this was not his portion for us. This isn't what he wanted, but he does allow bad things to happen. And it doesn't make sense. And then we have to go through this thing called grief that was never made for us. But Jesus is still so compassionate to walk us through it, even though this was never a part of his plan. Like it's the fact that

that the world still sins and we still have to feel the effects of sin and brokenness of this world. And instead of Jesus saying, I told y'all so, I told you to never do this. Don't partake in these things. Don't make these decisions because it will lead to X, Y, Z. Instead of him saying, I told you so, he comforts us in that and lets us ball in his lap.

And he helps heal us through the process. Like that type of love will never make sense to me. Do you know the number one thing that surprises engaged couples? Take a guess.

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Hey friends, I'm Sharon McMahon, host of Here's Where It Gets Interesting. Each week, I speak with authors, experts, and thought leaders on everything from American history and democracy to how to be a better person on the internet. And don't miss my extremely popular docuseries, which educate you on things you never learned in history class. Follow and listen to Here's Where It Gets Interesting on the free Odyssey app or wherever you get your podcasts.

So, anyway, Jesus is like, don't try to figure it out, Allie. Just feel the things and get through it and don't try to rush it. Like, I felt myself also trying to rush my grief where I feel like an inconvenience to everyone around me, which is so sent from God.

the pits of hell that's not my god and it's not the truth like your grief is not an inconvenience to anybody so if you've fallen to that like whether it's feeling guilty for having to go through it and but still showing up at work but like not really being 100 and then you're like oh gosh I'm you're thinking about everyone else and you're like I know I'm not being myself oh gosh I'm probably a burden everyone probably thinks that this like this is silly like I

cannot believe that those things have crossed my mind, but if it's crossed my mind, I know it's crossed y'all's too. If you've ever had to go through this,

Where you just don't want to be an inconvenience to anyone. Where you're like, you know, I live with Ashley. And I've felt these thoughts creep up where I'm like, gosh, I'm probably the worst roommate to live with right now because I can't do anything. I mean, like, I'm just not operating the way I would. I'm kind of moping around. I'm not like the fun, cute, energetic Allie that I always am. There is just grace, y'all. There's grace. Especially if you're surrounded by people who love Jesus.

If they have the heart of Jesus, they're going to have compassion for you. You know, if they don't, I pray that there's still grace, but ultimately it doesn't matter whether people want to give you grace or not. Do not rush the process of grief and do not feel like you are a burden. You have to feel these things. You have to allow yourself to feel it. Don't suppress it and don't try to do it by yourself.

I think the best decision I've made through this process is listening to the voice of God, taking his advice when he tells me to take it at the pace I have to take it at. Don't rush it and let me in on this. And so that's what I've been doing. I've just been letting the spirit of God in it and

I haven't been rushing it, you know, like if I can't do anything one day, then I'm just not going to do anything. And I'm just going to let myself grieve and hurt and go through it. And I knew that this advice that I was hearing in my mind of like, let me in, feel the feels, don't rush it. I knew it was the voice of God because it's biblical. So anything that the Lord says to you, like if you're hearing something in your mind and you're like, was that God or was it not the best way to

to decipher whether it's God or not in your mind is whether it's biblical because the Bible is the truth. God only speaks the truth and he loves to speak with his word and anything that comes out of his mouth is just going to be backed up in scripture. And so when I was hearing those things like,

Feel your feels. Don't rush it. You're not a burden. Let me in this. I knew that was the voice of God because that is backed up by scripture. Psalm 62 8 says, pour out your heart before him. God is a refuge for us. We need to be honest with the Lord about our grief and pray to him. And that could be through all of the stages of grief because there are five stages to grief. The first stage of grief is denial.

A person may have difficulty accepting the reality of the loss. For example, someone who has been laid off may still get ready to go to work the next day. The second stage is anger, a natural response to loss that can be directed at many sources. The third stage in grief is bargaining. A person may make promises to themselves such as, "If I recover from cancer, I'll go to church every week."

Depression is the next stage. It's normal to feel sad after a loss. And then the last stage of grief is acceptance. A person learns to live with the loss and acknowledges the reality of it.

And what's interesting is that the stages of grief are not always experienced in this order, and some steps may take longer than others. The grieving process can be like a roller coaster with ups and downs that become less intense over time. However, grief symptoms can reappear years later, especially during certain events.

So isn't that interesting? And I think the thing is, is that God knows how he made us. And so whether we're reacting to things that he made for us or not, he knows how we're going to react to it because he made us through and through. He made our bodies. Okay. So maybe he didn't intend for us to ever experience loss, but he knows how his children will react to loss.

So God knows all of these stages of grief. And I think if there's anyone to go to, it would be the Lord on how to handle it, I guess, the best way. And all of us are going to handle it differently. You know, we might not always handle grief in this order. We might

start off with depression and then go into anger and then acceptance and then denial and then go back to accepting it. I think for each person, it's just going to look differently. And obviously for each individual, grief can look different in just the longevity of it and how long it takes to go through it, you know?

I do think though that inviting Jesus into your grief is the best decision you could make because I'm afraid that if we don't go to Jesus, that the grief will be handled in a way that isn't healthy and maybe even prolong it. Like if you're not allowing the ultimate healer in a wound that is so deeply hurting, it might take longer for that wound to heal. It might take longer for you to get to the stage five of acceptance.

Because you're trying to do it all by yourself and you're not just going to the healer himself, Jesus. And so what will be healthy through every stage you're feeling?

Of grief, right? Whether it's anger, whether it's denial, whether it's depression is bringing that to the feet of Jesus and being honest with him about how you're feeling. The thing that God has been walking me through through this is like, be honest with me, Allie. Like I know you're angry. So don't pretend you're not angry. You know, we've talked about this on the podcast where God knows what's in our hearts. And so.

Not bringing him our honest emotions is not helping anyone because he already knows what's in your heart. He already knows what you're feeling in that moment. So you're definitely not hiding anything from him. And you're not helping yourself by lying to God and not being honest with him about how you're feeling. And so if you're angry, bring that anger to him. If you're in denial, bring that to him. If you're confused, bring that to him. If you're sad, if you can't get out of bed, if you're depressed, bring that to Jesus.

Because he doesn't need you to be perfect. He just wants you to be honest. So being honest about your grief and praying to him is very important to do.

Another thing is asking questions. So asking God, why did this happen? How did this happen? What can you do with this God? I know that you say in your word that all things that were meant for evil, you turn to good, but like, how are you going to do this? God, how could you possibly comfort me in something like this? How could I even feel peace during a time of this much pain? Right. Ask, ask,

All the questions that are going through your mind, ask God because Matthew 7, 7 says you can ask God questions in prayer. And as the Bible says, ask and it shall be given to you. So ask the questions and he will give you the answers. Will he let you see the immediate answers? I don't know if that is something that he will immediately give you. You know, like I don't even think I fully understand why he

He would allow this to happen to our family and to Kelly and to her son and just all the people who loved her so dearly. And especially her. She deserved to live a long and healthy life. I don't have the answers to that, but I do have the answer of God is in it and he will redeem this and he won't let Kelly's life go in vain.

I have those answers. I know that he's going to show up and I have the answers that God does comfort you in grief. That was something that I hadn't experienced it and I wasn't sure of what that would feel like or look like, but I have never felt God closer than in this time of grief, which is so crazy to me that I actually, I feel his nearness even more through this grief.

We also need to just remember God's plan. We need to remember God's plan on our life in the midst of grief and that he promises in his word that he will give you healing. He will give us healing. Psalm 147.3 reads, Psalm chapter 30 verse 2 says, Psalm 107.20 reads,

Exodus 15:26 reads, "I am the Lord who heals you." Matthew 8:2-3 says, "It is God's will for you to be healed." Exodus 23:25 says, "Serve the Lord and healing will be yours." Isaiah 40:29 reads, "He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak." James 5:14-15, "The prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well."

1 Peter 2.24 reads, By his wounds you have been healed. Psalm 34.18, and this is one of my personal favorites, is the Lord is close to the brokenhearted and he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.

In this verse, David describes how God understands our feelings and helps us bear the burden of sorrow. One of the most beautiful reasons to why Jesus came here on earth, there were so many reasons to why Jesus had to come and he had to endure just humanity and being a human, being part God but also man,

And I think one of the most incredible things about Jesus, and it just shows the heart of our God, is that Jesus endured all things so that he could help walk us through it. And it comes from a place of, I understand because I felt those things. I understand because I was a man. Like, I understand the grief that you're going through because I felt grief and

The story of Lazarus, it makes me think of that in John 11:38. Let's actually go find that in our Bibles right now. Can we actually read this really quick, y'all? Let's read this together, the story of Lazarus and what Jesus did. This is in John 11. We're starting at verse 1. "A man named Lazarus was sick.

He lived in Bethany with his sisters, Mary and Martha. This is the Mary who later poured an expensive perfume on the Lord's feet and wiped them with her hair. Her brother, Lazarus, was sick. So the two sisters sent a message to Jesus telling him, "Lord, your dear friend is very sick." But when Jesus heard about it, he said, "Lazarus' sickness will not end in death.

No, it happened for the glory of God so that the Son of God will receive glory from this. So although Jesus loved Martha, Mary, and Lazarus, he stayed where he was for the next two days. Finally, he said to his disciples, let's go back to Judea.

But his disciples objected, "Rabbi," they said, "only a few days ago the people in Judea were trying to stone you. Are you going there again?" Jesus replied, "There are twelve hours of daylight every day. During the day people can walk safely. They can see because they have the light of this world. But at night there is danger of stumbling because they have no light.

Then he said, "Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep, but now I will go and wake him up." The disciples said, "Lord, if he is sleeping, he will soon get better." They thought Jesus meant Lazarus was simply sleeping, but Jesus meant Lazarus had died. So he told them plainly, "Lazarus is dead. And for your sake, I'm glad I wasn't there. For now you will really believe. Come, let's go see him." Thomas, nicknamed the twin,

So they all thought that they were walking into Judea and they were going to die. Why?

The disciples meant business. They were like, "Nah, if Jesus is gonna die, we're gonna die with Jesus." When Jesus arrived at Bethany, he was told that Lazarus had already been in his grave for four days. Bethany was only a few miles down the road from Jerusalem, and many of the people had come to console Martha and Mary in their loss. When Martha got word that Jesus was coming, she went to meet him.

But Mary stayed in the house. Martha said to Jesus, "Lord, if only you had been here, my brother would have not died. But even now, I know that God will give you whatever you ask." Jesus told her, "Your brother will rise again." "Yes," Martha said, "he will rise when everyone else rises, at the last day." What Martha is saying here is that she does believe that her brother will rise, but she's saying in the end times.

Like not right then and there. And so Jesus told her, I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in me will live even after dying. Everyone who lives in me and believes in me will never ever die. Do you believe this, Martha? Yes, Lord, she told him. I have always believed you are the Messiah, the son of God, the one who has come into the world from God.

Then she returned to Mary. She called Mary aside from the mourners and told her, "'The teacher is here and wants to see you.' So Mary immediately went to him."

Jesus had stayed outside the village at the place where Martha met him. When the people who were at the house consoling Mary saw her leave so hastily, they assumed she was going to Lazarus' grave to weep, so they followed her there. When Mary arrived and saw Jesus, she fell at his feet and said, "Lord, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died." When Jesus saw her weeping and saw the other people wailing with her, a deep anger welled up within him.

and he was deeply troubled. "Where have you put him?" he asked them. They told him, "Lord, come and see." Then Jesus wept. The people who were standing nearby said, "See how much he loved him!" But some said, "This man healed a blind man. Couldn't he have kept Lazarus from dying?"

Jesus was still angry as he arrived at the tomb, a cave with a stone rolled across the entrance. "Roll this stone aside," Jesus told them. But Martha, the dead man's sister, protested, "Lord, he has been dead for four days. The smell will be terrible."

Jesus responded, didn't I tell you that you would see God's glory if you believe? So they rolled the stone aside. Then Jesus looked up to heaven and said, Father, thank you for hearing me. You always hear me, but I said it out loud for the sake of the people standing here so that they will believe you sent me. Then Jesus shouted, Lazarus, come out.

And the dead man came out, his hands and feet bound in grave clothes, his face wrapped in a head cloth. Jesus told them, unwrap him and let him go. I just love this story about Jesus with Lazarus so much because there's just so much in it to break down. One being Jesus was friends with Lazarus and he cared about him. He cared about Martha. He cared about Mary and he cared about Lazarus.

that these were his friends. And so to think that Jesus never had to ever deal with grief, even with being part God and part human, he still felt grief, even though he knew what was going to happen, right? Like that part in the scripture where Jesus had wept,

with Martha and Mary. I believe that that was out of compassion that he had for them, seeing the way that they were hurting, knowing that that was never his plan for humanity,

And I also think that he just felt grief in that moment too, because he loved these people. He loved Lazarus and he felt this grief, even though he knew there was redemption, even though he knew there was going to be healing, even though he knew he was going to be bringing Lazarus back from the dead, raising him to life after being dead in a grave for four days. Jesus knew all of that, but he still wept and he still felt grief.

And I just think that's a beautiful reminder of who Jesus was and who he still is, is he is a God of compassion, even though he knows the outcome of our lives, even though he knows the plan of our lives, he has a path for us, right? He has an ultimate plan for our lives. Even though he knows about the redemption that comes on the other side of grief, he still grieves with us and he still has compassion, right?

And he still feels pain as we feel pain, even though he knows that there's redemption. That's crazy. Like he could easily just be like, I mean, I know this is all going to be good. I know there ain't no reason to weep. That's just the heart of Jesus, that he weeps when we weep, that he feels pain when we feel pain, that he grieves with us. He grieves with us. He is a compassionate God. Oh my gosh. The way that I felt his compassion and his heartbreak, his heartbreak, like

Like I feel his heartbreak, which like also kind of breaks my heart more. Cause I'm like, oh Jesus, I don't want you to hurt too. But he's like, don't worry about me. I'm God. Like I'm here to be, I'm here to have compassion for you. You don't, uh-uh, let me love you through this.

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and people helping truckers fill up and get maintenance at our convenient locations. They're part of the more than 300,000 jobs BP supports across the country. Learn more at bp.com slash investing in America. Another loss that I know Jesus had to feel grief through was the loss of John the Baptist, who was related to him. That was his cousin.

his mom's sister's son, who he loved dearly. John the Baptist baptized Jesus. John the Baptist paved the path before Jesus came into the world, telling everybody about this Messiah. Like he was so near to Jesus and the story of Jesus in general.

But he was a literal family member to Jesus. And so I know Jesus had to mourn through that. John the Baptist was beheaded before Jesus was crucified and was wrongfully killed and put in imprisonment. And so I know Jesus had to grieve that. But that is the compassion of our God, is that he said, I will come down on earth and I will live as a man.

And I will endure all the things that man endures, including the things that he never had planned for us, like grief and loss and death, so that I can have compassion for my children. Because I think that the best way to truly have like real compassion for people is also just being able to relate.

Like being able to relate to someone's pain is the most pure type of compassion. Of course, we can have compassion for people not really understanding what they're going through because we haven't personally gone through it. Compassion is still possible. But the deepest form of compassion is also relatability of being like, I know what that person is going through because I've walked through that.

That type of compassion is the type of compassion our God has. And he made sure of it by walking as man and enduring the same hardships that we endure.

So we know we can trust him because he's not a God that's just in the sky that says, do these things. Oh yeah, I get it. But he never walked through it. That's not our God. Our God actually humbled himself so much that he said, I'm going to come down to earth and I'm going to live through the things that my people have had to endure and go through so they can trust me and know that my compassion is sincere and it's real because I also had to walk through those same things.

That's a God we can trust. And so through grief, it doesn't make sense. Through grief, we say, God, why? He says, I get it. I understand it. I felt it. You have every right to feel these things. You have every right to feel anger, to feel confusion, to feel denial. I understand it. And so what I have to offer you through this is maybe not immediate answers, but

But I have redemption for you. I have answers for you eventually. And most importantly, I have comfort for you. I have comfort for you. You do not have to be alone through this pain. You do not have to carry this on your shoulders by yourself. Give it to me that by his wounds, we are healed. Going back to 1 Peter 2 24, which says, by his wounds, you have been healed. All of the brokenness and the evil and the death.

and grief, and pain of the world, God overcame on the cross as well. So yes, through his wounds, we are healed. Jesus overcame sin, and he nailed it to that cross with him. And so when we feel the effects of sin, we need to also believe that he's overcome that as well.

and that there is redemption. Maybe it's not like the scenario with Lazarus, where our loved one is physically brought back from death, but I do know that the Lord will never allow it to go in vain. And I do know that through awful tragedies like this, God will redeem it. Maybe not through a physical resurrection, but there is resurrection, my girl. There is resurrection, my brother. God is so loyal to you. He is so loyal to you.

And he loves you so much that he will make this right for you. He will make this right for you and your family and to the person who didn't deserve it. Because that is his heart. It makes me think of that other scripture where Jesus was cleaning the disciples. He was washing their feet and they didn't get it. And he was like, you may not understand now what I am doing, but one day you will. And it's so funny how like,

Jesus did literal things in the Bible. Like it was actual things he acted out, but it was also symbolic at the same way. Like the things he said to them were very relevant to that situation, but also relevant to so many, like millions of things to come. Like it was real, but it was symbolic.

Him saying, you don't understand what I'm doing now, but you will one day. Like, yeah, he meant that in what he was doing with washing their feet. But also that's very relevant to everything we walk through. Like, you don't understand now what I'm doing, but one day you will get it. And I think that is what God says to us with grief.

Where he says, okay, I need you to hand me this ball of grief, right? And like all of our questions and not understanding this pain. He says, I need you to give that to me. And then we see him like molding it and doing stuff with it. And we're like, what the freak is he even making this into? Like, I don't get it. Like, how could he possibly make anything out of this messy ball of grief and anger and sadness? It's like this ugly gray blob. You're like, how could he even make anything vibrant and colorful and beautiful from this?

And he's just molding it and he's like making it into something really beautiful. And as he's doing that, it's like he's saying, you don't understand now what I'm doing and I get it. But one day you will. And like that is what he does with our grief. So I encourage you, as we will all do it together, to hand him that ugly ball of grief. This gray doesn't even really have shape. It doesn't make sense. You're like, oh, it's so ugly and it hurts. It's kind of prickly too. I don't know.

but you give it to him and you let him handle it. Like let him handle your grief. Let him hold your grief. Let him walk you through it and let him make something beautiful out of it. I think that's the other thing that really makes God, God, isn't it? Is that where it doesn't look like anything beautiful can come out of it. He does it. What's that scripture about bringing honey out of a rock?

See how you know it's the voice of God when it's backed up by scripture? I'm saying these things and then I'm like, oh yeah, there's scripture about that. Psalm 81 16 reads, with honey out of the rock should I have satisfied thee. Or Deuteronomy 32 13, which says, he made him suck honey out of the rock and oil out of the flinty rock. I don't know what flinty means, but the phrase honey from the rock is a reference to

So if we're thinking about these things, honey, coming from a rock, like a literal stone, you go, what in the world? Well, let's think about it. What is honey? Honey is sweet. Honey is good. Honey is yummy. Okay. We like honey. Most of us. We should. I don't know. If you don't like honey, it's okay.

But honey is symbolically also used as something sweet. It's good. A rock. Okay. A rock. Well, what is a rock? A rock is hard. It's cold. Probably. It's a stone. Like it's solid. It's a rock, right? There's not much that can, I mean, there's nothing coming out of it.

So you look at a rock and you say, okay, this is really hard. Oh, sounds like our situation. Sounds like our grief. Sounds like whatever. Hardship. Here's our rock. And God says, I'm gonna make honey come out of that rock. What? So when we look at this ball, this ugly gray ball, it could be a rock. It could literally be a stone of grief, pain.

God will make honey come out of that rock. He will. It's just what he does. So when we say, I don't know, God, I don't know how you're going to do it. Well, he does the impossible. He does the miraculous. He does miracles. And so what looks like something that could never physically happen, sure, yeah, to the naked eye, it shouldn't make sense for honey to ever come out of a rock, but God will do it.

God transcends past time and space. Okay, so who are we to tell God that he could never make anything beautiful out of this? He can. He's God. He's made everything, including time and space. All of it is his. And so this is what I challenge you to do if you're going through any hardship, grief, anything, anything that's like really burdening your heart, is I challenge you to pray to God and

Obviously to hand him those things, right? We said that. But to praise him. That is something that feels also very backwards. As you're grieving and you're going through something hardest, you're like, how in the world am I supposed to say like, wow, God, thanks so much. This was awesome. I love going through this. That's not what I mean when I say praise. I don't say praise God like everything is great. God loving my life right now. You praise him for the things you know he's going to do.

You praise him for the healing. You praise him for the redemption. You praise him for the things that you've not yet seen. You're going to sit there and you're going to praise your God because also nothing punches the devil more in the face than praising your Lord through hardships. Like the enemy wants you to turn your back on God and to be bitter towards him and angry at him. And he wants to tempt you from having a relationship with God through your grief.

The enemy wants to tempt you right now to pull away from God, to not have a relationship with him and to not invite him into this grief.

So nothing punches the enemy in the face more than getting on your face and saying, God, I believe you are a good God. I believe that you are a redemptive God. I believe that you are a God who performs miracles. And so through this pain, I'm going to worship you, that you are king. You are the one who makes things good when they were meant for evil. You are the one who brings honey out of the rock. You are the one that I call on to help for and you heal me.

God, I will serve you and healing will be mine. Let's mention Exodus 23, 25 one more time. Serve the Lord and healing will be yours. I'm going to serve my God. I'm going to love him. I'm going to praise him and healing will be yours. That's a promise. It's in scripture. It's a promise. And what did we say at the beginning of this episode? God doesn't lie. He doesn't tell a lie. He speaks only truth. So through praise, giving him your heaviness,

That's another scripture, y'all. What the heck? God is so good. Oh, I love the Bible. I love scripture. Isaiah 61, 3. Beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness. We are trading heaviness and mourning and ashes.

For beauty, joy, and praise. So even though it's going to be really hard to do, because all you want to do is lay in bed and sulk. One thing that I felt from the Lord too is that it is very important to feel the feels. Don't suppress it. Don't rush it. But also don't let it consume you. And so as hard as it can be, y'all, I know, I know, you have to praise him. Praise for the spirit of heaviness.

That when we feel heavy, it's okay to feel it, but don't let it consume you. And give it to the Lord. And by giving it is praising him. By giving it is reading the word of God. By giving it is letting him speak truth into your mind. He will carry you through this. You can get through this with God. You can get through this with Jesus. This Holy Bible is the key to life. And one of the things that is very life is grief and pain. But it's a good thing that he showed us how to get through that with him.

I love you guys. The Lord sees you and he hears you and he knows and he has compassion for you. He hasn't forgotten about you. He's not punishing you. This isn't a punishment. This is just the result of sin in the world. This is the result of brokenness in the world. All right, y'all. I would also really love to end this episode with prayer as well. I would love to seal it with a good old prayer to the Lord. So let's do that. Let's bow our heads together and close our eyes.

Jesus, I just thank you for your wisdom. Oh my gosh, God, you know everything that when things feel confusing and maybe we even doubt if you understand what we're going through, you really ground us and remind us that you know exactly what we're going through through your word, Lord. It's actually crazy how much you address grief and loss and pain and heartbrokenness and

And so God, we just thank you that you have so much compassion for us, Father. Thank you that you are not a God who rushes us. You don't ever rush us through our grief and pain. You actually encourage us to take it slow and to take it day by day and to do it with you and that you have patience for us and you will sit with us for as long as we need. God, thank you that your heart is bigger than we could ever imagine and that you are here for us.

God, we praise you and we love you and we honor you through the good times, which is easy to do, but Lord, it is hard to do it through the hard times. But we know that it is just as important, if not more important, to praise you and to be in communion with you and to be in relation with you as we are grieving through hard times, God.

Thank you that you are a God who stays true to his promises, which are for healing and redemption. And you promised us that all things that were meant for evil, you turn to good. And so, Lord, we will believe that today. We will not feel like a burden to others or you, and we will lean on you and you alone. In Jesus' name, amen. Thanks for being here with me, guys. I love you so much. And yeah, God is good.

He's good, even through the times where it feels very confusing. He's good.

I love y'all. God bless you guys. Can we also do something cool today? Can we show somebody how cool Jesus is today? Let's walk a little bit more like Jesus today. Let's show more compassion. Let's comfort people. If we know that people are in pain, maybe you know of somebody who's grieving. Comfort them and be there for them like Jesus would. Let's just love a little bit more like Jesus today. Let's walk more like him today. I love y'all. I'll see you next week.

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