Adam Calhoun: Pop Tarts, Areolas, Nashville Fight & Family Life
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All right, gentlemen, coming to main stage next, this is Bunny. Get up there. She's got a tornado of titties coming your way. Get those dollar bills ready. She's got an ass that shakes like Michael J. Fox. So get up there and throw, throw, throw them dollars. Dude, that is fucking iconic. What's up, you sexy motherfuckers? Welcome to another episode of Dumb Blonde. She's talking to me. She's talking to me right now. No, no.

I think she's talking to her audience. We would be ugly motherfuckers. Today, I have one of my most requested guests finally graced me with his iconic presence. I'm glad to be back. If you're going to be the co-host, you need to shh, okay? I'm like Robin to a Howard. Yes, exactly. You're my Robin today. Okay.

I have the sex icon of, I guess, what could we call it? Country rap? Is it hip hop or country rap? Never hip hop. Never hip hop? Okay, why is it never hip hop? I just want to know because I'm a West Coast girl, so I don't know any of this. Well, it's corny. Okay. Hip hop is like when you have no rap ability at all. Gotcha. Without further ado, we have Adam Calhoun. How are you, baby? Goddamn sex icon.

Which camera do I look at for that? All of them. Look at that Jewel camera. Goddamn six-pack. How does it feel to be in Nashville, baby? You know, I love Nashville. I got a lot of friends here. I'm sitting next to one right now. Made a lot of good music here. Made a lot of money with a lot of people. And Nashville's a great city. It's huge. It's starting to blow up, you know. And especially on the music scene, that's where everybody's at right now.

So I'm fortunate enough to be able to come down here every once in a while and work and get to see my friends while I'm working. So I love Nashville. I love that. Nashville really is blown up. It's crazy. Even since I've been here in the past six years, it's insane how much it's grown. So I can only imagine somebody who's grown up here what it's like. It's probably how I feel about Vegas. I wish they would get the fuck out of the way.

I wish they'd build a whole different freeway for the people that have moved here the last 10 years. I wish you'd give me that fucking hat. I'll pay you for that hat. Is this hat not the best hat ever? It is the best hat. It's fucking... It's the meat, baby. Look at the meat hat, y'all. Big deal there. I didn't even look at him today and I looked up whenever we were walking out the door and I was like, does your hat say fucking meat? It fucking says meat. I couldn't believe it. It's the best ever. So, Adam. Yeah. When...

I invited you on here. I want to just dive into things that people don't know about you because you're kind of like mysterious, you know, like people know that you're like this alpha male who's very, you know, politically charged and all that jazz. But I think that there's so much more behind what you present to the world. Yeah. I have a whole long life that I've lived here in this little life. So, yeah, let's talk about whatever you want. Yeah. So where did you grow up? So I was...

Jelly will appreciate this. So I was born on the south side of Chicago and I grew up in a trailer, one of the shitty ones, when they had the single wides with the aluminum on the side and they were like pink shutters and green. Those were my favorite. So until I was about seven, I was on the south side of Chicago and then we got out of there and moved to like the south suburbs, like about 20 miles south of Chicago. Wow.

How did your parents get out of the, the, you know, the trailer park and into the suburbs? Cause that's actually kind of like a big step. That's how we felt when we moved into our fucking neighborhood. We were like fucking, um, property value went down. So, so my dad, my, my real father, I don't have a relationship with him. I don't know him very well. Um,

um but my stepdad the guy that raised me he ended up doing really well in the company that he was in and he started making good money and you know we got out of there and moved into a little little house one bath you know one bathroom yeah but step up from a trailer yeah yeah and uh you know then he you know he was out of there they got divorced and it was kind of my mom that just raised me and the boys and my little sister and uh

It was crazy, you know, growing up we would take showers, me and my brothers, until almost high school because there was only one, you know, there was only one bathroom with a shower. So it would be me and my brothers like rotating under the shower head because there's us three, my mom, my sister, there wasn't enough hot water, you know.

You wake up late, you didn't get the milk in time, you go right to the sink, pour the water and the cereal and eat and came a long way from there, you know? Yeah, that's awesome. Growing up in something like that, do you think that has like inspired why you work so hard? My mom inspired me to work so hard. She was the hardest working person I've ever met in my life. And she was, there was no give in her, no give.

And you talk about me being an alpha male or whatever. I think she was the toughest...

I've ever met. I love that. I love alpha females. And she worked her ass off two, three jobs just to keep us, you know, get a second helping of Rice-A-Roni or some shit at dinner. That Arab bread fucking crazy. Savage women. Yeah, she was a beast. You know, I can remember my mom writing me a letter at 10 years old and I'd have to walk up to the corner store and get her a pack of cigarettes. Yeah, I did that too. They were told them.

Didn't you wreck a car one time going to get your mom? I wrecked a car. I was like 14 or something. She was like, drive down to the corner store. I was like, drive. All right. Fucking total of cars. The world's a different place now. The kids used to be able to get away with a lot more shit, but you know. I feel like the world was so much better back then. Way cooler era. We got the coolest era. I'm so thankful because I feel like kids nowadays are such pussies. Oh, yeah. It's crazy. I can't even deal with half the shit that's

going on i cannot deal i cannot i can't deal it i can't deal with it um okay so growing up you have two brothers what i heard you say brothers yep i got pat uh so i'm the oldest i'm 41 a couple days ago um happy belated birthday thank you very much uh my brother patrick is 38 my brother danny's 37 and my sister erin i think is 32 are you guys all pretty close so i'm

It's so weird. Growing up, I've always been so loyal to all my guys. You know what I'm saying? Like loyal to a fault. Like you give out so much loyalty, you know you're never going to get that loyalty back. Oh, absolutely. The same reciprocated. And for some reason, I don't know if it's because I saw my mom in different relationships and been married three times and...

For some reason, I wasn't close with my sister, and there's a huge age gap. You know, I was getting arrested. You know, cops were coming to the house and arresting me at 17, 18 years old, and she's in, like, second grade. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? So...

I never have a really close relationship with my sister, Erin. I'm sorry. I love you still to this day. And I still see her, but, you know, she hugs me and she's like, hug me. And I'm just like, you know, it's hard. But my, my brothers, those are, yeah, I'm very close with my, my one brother, specifically Danny. He's, you know, he's,

We're very similar. And we've been close. We slept in the same room our whole lives, all three of us boys. So he's like a built-in best friend. Yeah, it just made me loyal all the time. I would do anything for my brothers and my sister and my family, period. I heard you say that you got arrested. So growing up and even moving to the suburbs, you were still... I was a fucking...

Was this before or after the album you showed me? Like the CD that you dropped way back? So that's when I started rapping. Was this pre or post prison though? This is pre prison. I went to prison when I was 28. Yeah, we want to get there. I just want to kind of build a story for everybody so that they can follow it. Yeah.

Yeah, no, I got you. You're not going to yell at us. When you brought up him getting arrested, it just made, I never asked him. I was like, oh, cause I seen it. He showed me like his first album. Yeah. And in my mind, I was like, when you said, well, you got arrested. I was like, I wonder if that was before. Right. So this is the rapper in me wants to get straight to when did you start rapping?

we'll get there but when did you start getting in trouble like was it were you just a bad were you just like Dennis the Menace first day of school yeah me too actually I had a problem with authority in general like same I had a chip on my shoulder you know my dad wasn't around my real you know I know my dad but I don't

Fuck with my dad. We don't fuck with each other. Like, that's not, I call, I don't even talk to him. I haven't talked to him in a decade. But, um. That hurt, that's hurtful. I grew up just, and you know, my stepdad was always like, you know, you guys ain't tough. You're not tough. You know, cause he was born on the south side and raised on the south side of Chicago. And anyone watching this, if you know what the south side of Chicago is, you know what the south side of Chicago is. I've never even been to the south side of Chicago and I've heard about the south side of Chicago. Yeah, reference to some of Leroy Brown by Jim Criss.

Jim Cruise. That's right. And that's where my stepdad was born and raised. And he comes from a family of 12 Irish. You know, I'm Irish. And he was always telling us, you're not tough. My whole life he told me that. And only now do I understand that he was trying to tell us...

Not to be tough in the streets fighting right like that and because he told me my whole life I wasn't tough. That's all I wanted to do was prove to him that you were I was tough You know, and that's why you always see me. I mean, this is not new seeing me with a black guy You know what I mean? But however, it's getting a little old I need I'm growing I'm growing I told Adam the other day I was like girls girls like guys with black eyes. It's like, you know a little pound puppy. Yeah, I

So you've been getting in trouble since day one. That's just been your, but not like with a bad heart, just getting in trouble. Like in the wrong place at the wrong time. No, I was, I was kind of like a motherfucker, but I was, I was like one of the good, bad guys or a bad, good guy. Whatever you want to write. You know what I mean? What is some of the things that you got arrested for growing up? What actually, what caused you to get put in? You went to jail, right?

was it prison did you go to prison well that's fast forward that to you know 28 years old i went to prison but this is just getting picked up and going to jail for a couple days or like a couple months till my bond came uh but yeah that was just stuff like you know dr back then you're talking this is 1998 they didn't have weed like they have it now so we would have to drive into the shitty you know chicago heights wentworth fifth avenue arnold street and ask for some bags you know when they come out of the house you know these are trap houses and

and they would throw in the bags, we'd give them the money, we'd run, well, there would be cops, you know, right there, and we'd get pulled over for that shit, and, you know, fighting in the bars and shit like that with my brothers, and, you know, just, you name it. Any, it was, it was just guy shit, not no, like,

gang shit or street shit. It was being dumb and fighting and, you know, driving on testosterone. Yeah, just driving on like a revoked license and just, you know, being just in the bars fighting a lot, you know, and getting beat up and, you know, winning a couple here and there, you know. So was music always a part of your life? Yes. Yeah. I think music

Music and movies are my favorite thing in life because it can change your outlook on life and your mood in life. I've always loved music. The first thing I ever asked for from rap...

was an old Dirty Bastards CD, and I asked my mom for that for Christmas. And I have a painting in my house, an ODB, you know, rest in peace. Oh, baby, I like it raw. Oh, baby, I like it raw. That would be the song my wife would sing. That's a great song. No surprise you sung it.

No, listen, I'm not huge on East Coast rap, but I love- See, now that's what I grew up. That was where I went to was East Coast rap. Well, being from Chicago, you know, I grew up on the fucking West Coast, so I was Tupac and all that shit. See, I like Biggie more than Pac until I got older, then I started appreciating Pac.

Yeah. I asked for that CD. I was like 13 years old and she said, older. And she's like, no, I'm not. And that's the only thing I asked for. She got it for me. I played it till it was see-through. And then I started trying to be a rapper and write and everything. And that's when I got into rapping. So you instantly just wanted to be a rapper. It wasn't like any sort of like you wanted to be a country singer or anything like that. You're like, fuck that. I'm going straight for rapping. No, all I wanted to do was rap.

I mean, in the truck at high school, after school, we're all smoking blunts, driving down the road, three, six mafias playing and I'm wrapping every single, I was like, this shit is awesome. All my friends are looking at me and I'm looking at them like, well, this shit is awesome. What the fuck, man? Well, it was probably an outlet for you, you know? Yeah. It just,

It was, I love music. I love all types of music. I mean, my favorite band of all time is Led Zeppelin. Favorite singer of all time is Freddie Mercury. Freddie Mercury's birthday is actually... September 5th. Yeah, you guys have the same birthday. I can remember your birthday because it was the day before Bill's.

my dad my dad that's my dad we call we call my dad bill um so let me hear about this cd that you were telling jay about your first cd first cd ever put out how old were you i was i think 21 actually and this was before you went to prison yeah i went to prison at 28 okay we'll get there yeah uh

I put it out with a childhood friend of mine that I grew up with who was a much better rapper than me. He still raps to this day. He's finally getting some views on it and stuff like that. I was baby face, you know, no beard. Him too. I had hair still. Is this online somewhere where anybody can go and find it? No, it's hard copies. I sold Jelly Roll like my first. I was like, dude, I still have it. I would love to see Adam without a beard. It's like old school hard copies.

Really? The graphics on it back then were probably like the best graphics you could possibly get. You look at them now and it's just like, you know, it's like a Polaroid picture almost. That's wild. Yeah, it was cool. I would love to see it. It was like laying on the couch or something. My son has to listen to it and I listened to it and I was like, oh. But back then you were like so fucking proud of it, right? Oh, yeah. Like that was your shit. Yeah. But you had fucking wrote it for something. I thought I made it. I was like, we're going to blow up. Yeah.

And then it took 20 years later. What was your name back then? Was it always A-Cal? I always went by Adam Calhoun, but because we... I always went by my name. Right. I'll tell you this. Remind me to tell you the story where A-Cal even came from. Okay. I always went by my name. But when I grew up, we were... So me and Chuck Mises, he's a rapper, we would go to the south side of Chicago, you know, Inglewood and the west side of Chicago. And we would...

There was, you can't rap in the suburbs. There's no white boys rapping on the side of a corner. Right. You know, so we would go and we would enter these battle competitions, freestyle competitions, stuff like that. And I just went by the name Mass Confusion. Yeah.

Nobody knows. You just heard that for the first time ever. Yay, we got an exclusive. And yeah, we battled out there and that's when I started really taking rap seriously. Does everybody go through that where they're picking their official name? What a genius thing to think about though. He called himself Mass Confusion at a time that a white dude showing up to rap on the corner in the south side of Chicago calls fucking Mass Confusion. What a great, that was such a different era.

Yeah, completely. I participated in that era. It was super dope, man. It was a lot different. After you dropped that first album, did you consistently drop music after that? Did you stay in the studio or was it like a one-off? Yes. No, I was always in the studio. And I dropped another project. But they like shopped us. I'm sorry. You're good.

they like they shopped us you know back then you had to have a label that's just how it was there was no internet you know what I mean there was no YouTube sensations never so they shopped us to you know all the labels and stuff like that they were trying to sell me and him as like this white duo group or whatever and nothing really came out of it and um

I kind of just got lost and left that scene around 24. And that's when I went back out and started drinking again. I wasn't a great father. You know, I wasn't around my son the way I should have been. When was Taman born? I love his name, by the way. Taman Kane Calhoun. He was born when he was born when I was 19. So he was born in 2000, April 13th. A lot of people have questions about his mom. Do you kind of keep her in the shadows? Are you close with her? No, I haven't talked to her in a while.

Oh, got you. So was she... He doesn't even talk to her. Wow, I didn't know that. So does she... Was she an ex-girlfriend or how did that work? Am I allowed to say things like fuck? Oh, yeah, of course. So she was like... This is Bunny's fucking podcast. She literally had people in here sucking sausages as a concept. All right, great. This is great. There was one time that we were throwing hula hoops on...

You can't say something. We're doing the whole Olympics in Vegas at the end of the month. I want to go. I want to go to the whole Olympics. You can be a judge. I promise you, you can't say anything crazier than what I hear her say. Okay. On this podcast. I mean, just on fucking, I haven't been up five minutes some days. She'll say the wildest fucking shit.

Okay, so. Yeah, say whatever you want. Taman's mom was like my real first piece of pussy where I was just pounding it. I would walk like two doors down and that's where she lived two doors down from me and I was just every day. Didn't you fuck the neighbor too on the fucking electricity box or something? Listen, when you're broke, you fuck neighbors. Jesus.

you have nowhere else to go i'm going to the chick next door i'm just a miss that actually you know what i did my neighbors too but they were girls they were girls yeah yeah she's like i my neighbor too no no no he doesn't care he really doesn't care oh but it's one of those things where yeah but it was on electrical box that's how i pop my little cherry yeah yeah dude it's not like i go across the

she wasn't my first but she was my first where i was just putting in work consistent puss yeah yeah and uh he said putting in work yeah i was making babies hammer dick like fucking but um yeah and then she got pregnant and and um and taming came and and then we weren't together anymore after that and uh you know she was a heavy drinker a lot of drugs uh

I'm not saying she's a terrible person. She still does the same shit. And Taman just like, I don't want to be around that. You know, I was a young guy. I didn't know what was going on. I felt like I had some type of love for her and I just wanted to kind of help. I didn't I knew she had good in her. And but, you know, she loved being out in the street and she was for the street. Yeah. Yeah.

So that didn't work out really well. But you got beautiful Taman out of it. He's a little cutie pie. Yeah, I got him. I finally got him when I was, he was 10. That's when I had like, he was. Do you have full custody of him? No, she just called me one day and said, come get your son. I can't take, I can't take this shit anymore. And I went, I'm fucking. Why can't your baby mamas do that? Yeah.

I would be like so happy. She literally was like, come get your son. I can't take it anymore. And I never forget it. I went and I got him. And I wasn't a present father the way I should have been. Well, you didn't know how to be. You didn't have a father to show you how to be. That's no excuse though. Sooner or later as a man, you have to take credibility and be like, hold up. I'm not going to re, what is that? Like relive that. Right. Just because that happened to me, I'm not going to.

fucking moment to break the cycle. Yeah. Cycle. There you go. Yeah. And, I just remember walking into his room and he had like a garbage bag full of clothes. And I was just looking at his room was how trashy it was and everything. And I started crying, you know, and, uh,

Yeah. I took him. We threw the garbage bag of shit away, and I got him all new clothes. It was a rough road, man. He's 10 to 11. I think he was 11. A new school and new parent, and I'm going to whoop his ass and be strict. But at the same time, I had to love on him because you can't just be with me full time, and the first thing I'm going to do is be hard on you. I had to love on him a lot and took a lot of work. Kids are a lot of work.

Just hands down. Yeah, it's not a cool job. It's the most thankless fucking... Super overrated. He saved my life. My son and Margie, they saved my life. And I feel so gay. I keep doing this because it's cold in here. You guys don't know that it's cold in here. I'm from Illinois and it's not supposed to be. I'm not supposed to be immune to this shit. But I'm over here like, yeah, you know.

No, no. Getting soft in your old age, man. Big facts. He walked in here and was like, can I have a blanket? Because it was so cold. I literally, our house sits on 64 all day long. That's what I like to sleep in. You put me in a refrigerator, I go to sleep in that. But like, um...

but yeah i grew up in a meat freezer so it's like yeah i seriously i'm gonna buy that hat i'm telling you man that's why i got the hat from a long lineage of meat cells so after tayman came in the picture and stuff like that did you go to prison after that or no okay okay so here's the deal so i'm i'm 24 years old and at 24 years old i got a they charged they originally charged us with a home invasion

So me and my brothers had a bunch of people over. We had a party and there was an apartment butted up to our fence in the back of our house. They start throwing shit down. I'm going to go real quick on this. They start throwing shit down. Anyway, it led one thing to another. I'm on the phone with my girlfriend at the time when I had flip phones, like a razor, you know. I'm like, oh, yeah. And...

They always come and start yelling, "Adam," you know, I'm the first one they come get. "Danny's crawling up the balconies." Right? So I go after my brother. We go up in the balcony. We think we're going to fight these kids just talking shit. We're not thinking home invasion. These kids are talking shit to us. So we go in there. It's a big melee. My other brother comes into our apartment building, kicks the door down. There's ten of us, five of them. It's a fucking mess.

We all get arrested. Our bonds are all 100 grand apiece. In Illinois, it's 10%, so 10 Gs apiece. And we bond out. We fight that case for two years. They finally, because a class X, that's a class X felony. So it's 6 to 30 mandatory. Were you guys armed? No, fuck no.

We just went in there to fucking beat, fight some kids. Right. Because they're talking shit. People don't understand that. Everybody uses guns these days, but back in the days, like, we used to use fists. Yeah. And we, you know, we went in there and obviously, I think I did have a black eye after that was over too, but, you know, we hurt a lot of them guys. A couple of our guys got hurt, but...

We all went to jail. We all bonded out. We ended up fighting the cases. I was the last one to get bonded out. They're like, Adam's been in jail a bunch of times. He's going to be fine. So they left me in there for a while. But we all bonded out and fought the case for like two years. Once a month, we'd all have to show up to court. And they finally, the state's attorney's husband died. She retired. We got a new state's attorney. Thank God. And they actually dropped it from a class X to a class one. Aggravated battery, great bodily harm. They gave us all...

three years probation and about three months into my probation, I violated with another fight in a bar and they hit me with an aggravated battery, great bodily harm to a police officer. And then I fought that for two years. So by that time- - You beating up cops?

It was brutal. I didn't know it was a cop. I had just got stabbed the week before in a bar, and I felt it right here, and I thought I was getting stabbed. I'm like, fuck, I'm getting stabbed. Because we're in a fight, and I'm like, I'm getting stabbed again. And I do this, and I blast a cop, and I turn around, and there's a bunch more cops coming, and I'm just like...

Okay. And they beat the fuck out of me all the way, you know, to jail into my cell. And so I was 26 at that time. I fought that case for two years. They finally dropped it down to a three year sentence. I did about two years downstate Jacksonville, Illinois. M 0 7 5 8 1 is my number. I'll never forget it. You know, when did this all come to an end? When were you finally just like, dude, I've got to calm my temper down and just,

I need to go a different direction in life. Now? Like the last maybe year? Really? Yeah. Like when I, I'll tell you what, prison was the best thing that ever happened to me. It changed, it made me, it changed. I'm not saying it changed me like, oh, I don't ever want to get in trouble. It changed my mind and how I thought and it brought out a lot of toughness that I didn't know I had. You know, I'm a kid,

that's in prison for fighting you know oh i could only imagine this and i'm next to you know murderers and and things like this and some of the nicest people that some of the nice people i've ever met were had were murderers we're in there for murder you know what i mean um but you know i didn't have a serious uh years i mean you got you got guys doing life right years and you know i'm in there for you know almost a little over a year and a half you know what i mean uh

So you get out. Where do you go from there? I came home. I started anything I could do for a job to get a job. I was shoveling snow. I was the only guy that didn't speak Spanish. It's a bunch of Hispanic guys, a landscaping company. I'm driving a tow truck. I'm doing anything I can to get a job, to make money. And then I got that phone call probably six months after I got home.

maybe six months to a year after I got home, I went and got to him and we were sleeping on my brother's, you know, basement floor, you know, and you know, every week I'd take a little money and we got one bed. And so we were sleeping in one bed and then I got two beds and we were sleeping downstairs with two beds and I kept working my ass off. And then finally I got a call one day from one of my buddies in the union and he was like, yo, we got a job for you. You come down there. If you show up, they'll hire you. And I came down and that's when I started working at the old plant, um,

And that's where I thought I was gonna work for the rest of my life and die, just like all the other guys.

So when did you, cause you started, okay, so you did music, but you kind of got your break doing YouTube, right? So yeah, while I was working at the plant and just, you know, you're talking hard hat and lunchbox and guys drawing dicks on each other every day and like shit like that, you know? Sounds like my crowd. Good times. So one day I called off work cause I used to lift weights a lot and I called off work cause I hadn't been to the gym in a minute. So I like,

My stepdad always told me never call off work when you're sick, call off work when you're not sick. Are you close with your stepdad now? Kind of. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe it's me. That's the problem. Um,

But I was at home one day. I went to go grab the milk. And this all comes back to what I was saying earlier. I went to grab the milk. Taman left the milk fucking carton in there with no milk in it. And just instinctively, I went straight to the sink and poured water in the cereal. And I'm sitting there eating cereal. I'm like, man, I'm making 50 grand a year, which ain't shit. But it is to me now. And I got my own place.

And I'm still eating cereal with the water in it. And I got my phone. I had this old shitty droid cricket fucking phone. And I made a video about how today's kids are compared to how our era was. And it just went...

Like fucking nuts. Was that for Vine or was it for YouTube? Facebook. Oh, really? That's where I got big on was Facebook first. Okay. And then, you know, I started incorporating Tame into the videos, like how to raise your kids and what to do if a girl shows up to...

or a guy shows up to see your daughter, like just all the real big, funny, like fuck boy video. Like there's just hundreds of millions of views and, and it just, it went crazy. Did you start getting paid from YouTube? No, never. So when I started making my money was I linked up with a, um,

Grunt Style, which is an apparel company. And they're like, you want to make shirts? And we'll give you a percentage. And I was like, sure. So I started thinking of these ideas and they had graphic designers. I made these shirts. I started getting checks in the mail for like 30 grand a month. Wow. And I was like...

After a couple months, I went to my job. I was like, I can't tie my boots up anymore and come in here. It just doesn't make sense. I'm going to go try to chase this social media thing. And I didn't know what I was getting to at the time. Yeah. And then it kind of. How long ago was this? So this is, I mean, we're going fast now. I hope everyone at home is catching up. Yeah, no, they are. So that was at 35.

So I was at the plant like 36, it's about six years when shit really started going crazy. And then when I left the plant, I think I was 36 years old and I had like

I don't know, a couple hundred grand in the bank from my shirts. They just went nuts. Just the little sayings I put on them and stuff like that. No, it's crazy what that merch can like change your life like that. It's insane. Glad y'all know something about it. I don't. Bunny sells more merch than I do. Oh, lies. So, yeah, I got luck. Look, a lot of hard work and determination and grit and a little bit of luck and I got

Because I was making funny videos all the time, Church used to make funny videos. He doesn't really anymore. He's more just music. It's kind of his life now. But right at the tail end of what he was doing with the videos, me and him did a video together. And when we did that video, he was recording when he lived in the trailer. And he had a studio on the side of the trailer. And he was recording some music. And I'm sitting there. And as he's listening to the beat writing, I'm writing. And he looks over and he's like,

You rap or something? And I was like, yeah, I grew up rapping. So I didn't have rap in my head at all. Rap was done to me. It was something I used to do. But I was like, there's this white kid rapping just about... He doesn't have to appeal to the urban audience. Like I did. I had to earn my respect and appeal to the urban audience to be accepted. Yeah, because that was where you grew up. That's just what the times. That was an era. It was like, at that time...

there was white kids wasn't rapping for other white kids. Right. Yes. Right. Is what really happened. So it's like in that era, uh,

You could only be accepted in the hip hop community if you were genuinely co-signed by the urban community. If the black guys did not stand up for you and either say, yo, this dude's dope or yo, this dude did everything he's in here rapping about. He's our guy. I can validate that this dude is the dude he's acting like he is. No, you're good. Is that how it was for you? Oh, completely. No, that was in the same era. That era was just like,

I say it all the time. Is that why you had fucking cornrows? Yeah. I did too. No. I swear to God. No. I need a picture. Because my hair wasn't long enough, they actually had to put my good friend, Tori Washington, uh, uh,

his sister, you know, she braided hair and she had to get a little bit of weave because my hair wasn't as long as it needed to be to weave it. Yeah. Yeah, I was really, we really had to appeal to the urban audience. There was no white kids listening to white people. Yeah, there was nobody. It was a totally different era. But this was before the braids for me. I mean, this was bald-headed, you know, Jason from the neighborhood. Right. This was like,

Until I grew the hair out of jail. This right here was just, you didn't have a, there was no, it's funny, man, because back then, I mean, I'm sure there were guys like Adam doing it at the same time where they were. And I'm sure that was happening across the world. But I knew of personally, besides a couple local white dudes that rapped, of like, there was like three famous white rappers on earth. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Yeah. It was like, this was like before my name is. This was like pre-M&M. Oh, yeah, for sure. This is like. No, I'm the same age as Adam. Yeah, this is like, yeah, this is. Totally know. Yeah, you remember that era. So it's like now you throw a rock and hit a white kid that can rap. You know, there's three downstairs right now. Oh, yeah. No, it's crazy. You know what I mean? It's like just. That's all I listen to is white rappers. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, it's like so. But back then it was like, man.

You had to really, really, really... Impress. Bubba Sparks would have never worked without a Timberland co-sign back. Oh, yeah. 100% chance. Same with Em and Dre. Paul Wall, too. Yeah. Well, Paul Wall would switch your house. Em would Dre. There's no way. There's no way. That era was... People will never really understand...

I had a little jealousy earlier. I had to like break a bad spirit about it because I'd watch these white rappers just kind of walk into it. Yeah. And I was like, you never had to fight in the black barbershop freestyle battle. And see what he just said. That's what most people thought about me because they only knew me from funny videos. And they're like, oh, you just started rapping one day. Right. They don't understand the backstory of it. Right. I mean, they don't understand. What was it? What was the name?

Mass confusion. Mass confusion. They don't understand. Those days when I was sleeping in a trap house rapping with a fucking shitty mic hanging over a dowel rod and with a fucking blanket in the bitch, you know, and I'm in there with a pair of Harley Davidson boots and, you know, all my guys, and I'm the oddball in there. I'm the only white boy in my old school. No, you had to pony up the money to get in the battle, and then you had to fight your way through the crowd. Everybody stares at you, and then when you won the battle,

they would cheer you on, but you probably had to fight somebody physically because you offended somebody. And you know what I mean? It's ruthless. It's like, I mean, dude, it was, it was wouldn't trade you for nothing. It was brutal. So you have no clue how many times I would show up to barbershops and

in like the worst neighborhood in nashville with jazz howard coach yeah we've met jazz or talk jazz jazz would come out with a bankroll he'd just walk in set 10 grand on the table and go who y'all got yeah you know what i'm saying still thinks it's those days for sure he's ready he's got a bag ready at all times you know all right so let's go back so church looked at you he said you rap you rap and uh i was like yeah i used to you know and uh

Anyways, I wrote a verse, a little verse, and he's like, let me see. So I grabbed the mic or my headphones, and I stand up to the mic, and I just started rapping. And he was like, that's fucking, man, that's cool as hell. And I just kind of left it there at that. But I went home, and when I went home, I'm like, hold on. You got the bug again. Well, it was so weird seeing a white dude rap about his way of life that didn't appeal to, like I said, the urban community.

And it just appealed to like, you know, white, basically where he lives is just a bunch of white dudes. You know, there's got everywhere from, you know, hardworking blue class guys, the redneck, all that shit. So I went home and I'm like, let me try it. Let me see if I got something in me, you know? And then, you know, I dropped the first album and, and, you know, it's about to go gold, which is crazy, but yeah,

You know, and the rest is a lot of stuff in between. So the reason you're out here in Nashville is because you're doing your last rap album, right? So I'm doing two more albums. I'm recording my last one first. And the one that, you know, Jelly... Like last music? Like you're not doing music? No, last rap album. I don't want to rap no more. You know, I...

I said, me and Jolly talked the other day and I was like, you coming to work tomorrow? Because that's how I treat everything. And he said, well, you know, I was planning on coming to the studio and having some fun with my buddy and writing a song. I wasn't planning on working. You know, and that's what it is to me. I try my hardest not to work. It's a goal of mine every day. If you make it sound like it's a chore for my husband, he ain't coming. Yeah. I'm glad. I thought he wasn't going to come. I was like, fuck. But, um...

You have to always make it sound like it's fun even when it's not. I'm always coming for Adam. Yeah, no, he totally told me the night before he said I gotta go. Jelly Roll is a person that I call when I definitely am in need of advice and knowledge. He's wise. You know, I'm older than him, but he's, you know, he's wise beyond his years and I'm a little bit of a motherfucker sometimes, so it's good to talk to him. No, his soul is so pure. I love it. Got that old soul, yeah. Mm-hmm.

I don't know what we were talking about. Um, we were talking about, so you're in Nashville working on your two albums. So I got two albums coming out. Uh, one of them, I haven't told anybody about that's going to come first. And then the album I'm working on now is the last rap item I'm ever going to do. We're going straight into country music. Uh,

and that's another thing most people don't know. I grew up every summer of my life. The reason I am who I am today, if any good parts I have of me as far as loyalty and respect and, you know, always standing on what you say is from my grandfather, Leonard Calhoun, rest in peace. Uh, every summer I spent with him shotgun, like his dog, uh, in Pipeville, Kentucky. And I grew up every summer in Kentucky and, you know, so I got a little bit of,

a little bit of country, a little bit of city in me. And same as Jelly. Do you feel like you don't want to do rap anymore just because it's an age thing? Or you just don't like what it represents? I'm just too competitive with it and too mad and mean and angry with it. And it's got a chip on my shoulder because rap started off for me as a competition. And I don't want to do that shit anymore. I want to make music that heals me now. And I'm at a different place in my life to where I just would like to...

I totally make music that just is, can help people. So many people, you know, therapeutic music. Yeah. Like jelly roll is working. I've heard some amazing stuff from his new album and, you know, off his, I want to make some music that heals myself and hope,

Can I get that for myself? Yes. And then I would like to help heal some people out there. And I ain't doing it with rap because all my rap is me. Fuck you is me with rap. I want to do some beautiful music. I think you get to a point in your life, because my husband has seen me do this for the past two years, where you kind of go on like a spiritual journey where you want to shed your old skin. You want to shed those old traumas and you want to stop.

feeling how you've felt your whole life. I just want some peacefulness. Exactly. I pray for peacefulness. Yeah, I totally get it. I think it's getting over the aggressive nature. I think that's something that we've talked about privately that I'm sure he don't mind me bringing up in this platform. The talks we do have is normally me being like, hey man, perspective is...

Your aggression in that situation is not necessary. I see what drives it there. And I think he says it all the time, and I don't want to segue into something I know we want to talk about anyways, but I will by accident. I think a lot of it, too, was when you see – I tell everybody having a little boy –

And having a little girl evoked two totally different emotions than a man. That's wrong. But it happens, right? I mean, you guys are like, you have sons and you want them to be alpha like you. And you have a little girl and you want her to be just sweet. The story I tell is if Bailey fell when she was four or three, right? It'd be like, hey, baby, how are you? Get up. Let's talk about it. How's your leg? She's not gonna cry. Let's get through this together, girl. Let's talk about it. You didn't hurt yourself that bad.

When Noah falls at three, it's like, get your ass. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't die. Stop that shit. Get up now, boy. You know, it's just the instinct is, you know, how do I console her? How do I toughen him up? It's not a right mentality, but I think,

That's passed down. I seen it in Adam's face when that thing popped pink. Yeah. I mean, his face told the story of a man who at that moment was like... It was like, oh, shit. Of a man who was just... I was defeated. Some shit's got to change. But do you know that the stronger sperm...

Makes girls. Well, you know what my mama used to say? Did I tell you the story? You know what my mama used to say? Boy, you knocked the nuts off of her. No, he did say that. But just like Taman came into your life in a time that you really needed him. This little girl is coming into your life in a time that you're ready for peace. So she's going to be, she's going to bring you your peace. You know, I think it all comes into play. Um,

So, you know, I always say whenever you're trying to level up, like I told you last night, Daddy, you put it in perspective for me because I've been going through some shit, too. There must be something in the air. I feel like every time you're on the search for peace, motherfuckers just want to come for you and they just want to fucking target you for no fucking reason. Can we touch on just touch on it? And we're not going to mention any names because the people don't really deserve them. But what happened whenever you first came here to Nashville this last time?

Okay. Like a couple days ago. Can they zoom in on the black eye? I mean, yeah, they can zoom in after I edit. The black eye? Everybody wants to know. It's inquiring minds. This was the most asked question when you asked. This and other ones that we're about to get into. So I'll just do it real quick. It's real easy. There was an old artist that...

I'm making an album. I wanted all the guys that made an impact at some point or other within the last 20 years of this thing that kind of say it's country rap. And I wanted them all to be on my last album because in the comments you're always seeing, why doesn't this person work with this person or this person? And I said, I want to have all these guys on an album.

And I think that'd be awesome for the fans. So I brought in an older rapper and his first day in Nashville, we're recording. I see him. He's stressed out on it. He's on his phone. He's upset. He's like, oh man, this guy's trying to pull up on me and stuff like that. I'm like, tell him to pull up. Tell him to pull up. I'm here with you. If I'm with you, I'm with you. Like, let's go. There's that loyalty that you talk about. Yeah. Tell him to pull up. Let's go. And

He's like, hey, he's here. You want to come out? And I'm like, yeah, I got you. Let's go outside. And as soon as I walk outside, I suddenly realize, you know, as he moved to the back and this dude's moving towards me, this has nothing to do with him. They're friends. I didn't know that because I don't know who this motherfucker is. And he's in my face and he's like, you know, boom, just right on the side of the head.

and i didn't know how to take that man you know what i mean you're like did this just

fucker just really do this you know what I'm saying like it's everyone knows I train a lot and I train with a lot of like pro fighters and stuff like that that doesn't make you the baddest dude on earth but I could take a punch right I could give a punch so I get smoked in the side of the head and I'm thinking about so many things and which is so weird it was I was so calm and I was thinking about the studio getting kicked out which we did we got kicked out that day you know that's 10 bands see you later uh I think they gave me half back but whatever uh I'm thinking about

It's broad daylight in the middle of what's what's town is that where I was at Belmont Belmont middle of the street I'm like thinking about so many I'm thinking about getting sued Yeah, none of my guys are with me cuz usually they talk, you know Adam. No, this is it. Fuck that So I'm like, okay

Okay, I'm in a situation. And instead of backpedaling like they would have done if they were in my town and this happened to them, I just put the head down, moved forward, and kept moving forward. And I stood in the middle of the street in traffic and in a weird position, no one having my back, and it was just a totally weird situation. A situation that you shouldn't have even been put in. Well, now I know. Especially with his spirit being just to help somebody.

Yeah, somebody that's never even stepped foot in a nice fucking studio like that ever in his life. And I was really trying to help this man because I was like, come on, man. This is going to be so cool. Make you relevant again. That and just how cool would it be for the fans to see like, whoa, this is so dope, you know? I was excited for it. Yeah, no, you were. I was excited for it because for me, it was like,

I think it was like the beginning of us all being able to work with this artist again. Right. Right. Like I think Adam's olive branch was like, you know, I thought it was cool because it made me even go home and have perspective. We talked where I was like, man, you know, maybe I should reach out to him and I haven't talked to him in a long time. Right. You know, fuck man. He's working with Adam. You know what I mean? Like, man, I'd feel bad if he did something with Adam and not me. You know what I mean? Like, cause this is the dude who brought me into this game. Right.

But then he turns around and shows you guys why you guys have to talk about that. And then he turns around and does something like that. And it's just, you know what it is. It's disheartening. This is Adam's story to tell. And that's another thing. The reason I got, I believe, to where I am today is I never hide anything.

my my life i show people the good my wins and my losses yeah the very next day i got on my shit and was like look take a look screenshot it yeah remember this i'm not gonna hide i'm still here well i'm not leaving here yeah you're saying and you just worked so hard to get to where you are though you know and that's the whole point of bringing you out of your peace is the devil's gonna fucking come against you as hard as you can i think i think my perspective of this is

Sometimes lessons, the way me and you learn them and the way my wife has learned them have always cost us something money, occasionally a black guy time. You know what I mean? It's like, I think there was so many lessons in that for you. And it was a lot of us learned from that experience for you. You know, I move pretty diligently and,

But it even gave me a moment of perspective of I should be more aware. See, and that's the thing. I don't ride with security or nothing. And you know what? I should. Especially being an online personality now. Well, you're talking about I'm a multi, millions of dollars of my, that's my brand, my company. So I need to protect that brand.

I told Adam that I said, Adam, you're a multimillion dollar business. I can tell you this. There's not a jewelry store in Nashville that doesn't have a security guard at the front. When he told me he didn't have security, I was like, what? I was like, that's crazy. It's him shedding that aggressive, tough nature. I get that. Which is, I think, the beautiful thing about him realizing that too is it's time to like, it's a coming of age. And the thing about this is, and that's why I said, this isn't my story to tell, but I want to speak a piece on this. My problem with the situation was,

It wasn't, it's a coming of age for Adam. And I hope, and I really do pray that the other side, it's a coming of age for them. I mean, you had, I doubt it. Third, you had men in their late thirties because of how they are. You had men in their late thirties and their late forties showing up to videotape a fist fight. Like we were 22. Like it's a world star. Yeah. Like it's a world star moment. Like, like we're talking about men with,

multiple children. Right. Right. We're talking about men with like multiple men. We're not just talking about one man. We're talking about multiple men with multiple children. We're talking about, you know, this is, that was wrong on every level. It could have been. Absolutely. You know what I mean? Like it was, it's just,

I'm not even mad. Of course, it wasn't me that got punched, but I'm not mad about it, right? It's like, I'm disheartened by it. Yeah, it's disappointing. Like, it really hurt my spirit for... Especially because you guys... Like, I can understand that kind of behavior from West Coast dudes because West Coast dudes are all fucking pieces of shit. But you guys in Nashville have, like, a family, you know? And you guys all, like, are kind of like...

roll together you guys grew up together you guys roll together you guys even if they don't deserve it you guys still give props where props is due we never shit on each other ever and see I'm not I'm an outsider I'm not a Nashville native but I made a lot of good relationships down here and I'm treated very but you're in the family yeah no that's what I mean and I take that

and I keep that close to my heart because I know how important it is because they're in this industry. There are so many pieces of shit. And I mean, perfect example of what just happened, what happened. But honestly, I beat myself up over it because I was like, I know what I, what I do. Right. I know what I should have done before.

more in that situation yeah but i'm i the only thing i can say is this not many in that situation would have put that chin down kept moving forward and just been like it you know sure but you shouldn't have even been put in that situation so i'm glad it happened because people actually get to see what you're made of yeah you know i talk on the internet i say these things on the internet they see me in a ring and doing this stuff but that happened in the street and all what what can a say hey that was out in the street yeah he didn't go

hide and run. Yeah. At least Adam's going to stand up and be out there. So, you know what I mean? And, and, uh, the situation just should have never happened. And I, I felt terrible that it happened out here. Well, you know, I feel, I believe it or not. I feel terrible for all parties. Yeah. You know, I feel terrible for those guys because, uh,

They just, any chance that might've been was just, I mean, that dude's, it was like, he's always been a sucker. He's always rolled with suckers. It's just like the last slithering of hope, you know what I mean? Just to watch him. Yeah. You know, it just breaks my heart, man. Cause I just, it's like watching your hero, uh,

That's sad. What you just said, that just hit me. That's sad. Yeah, you know what I mean? For me, all these years, it's been like... It's like seeing Mike Tyson get knocked out. That was my hero. Yeah, it's like watching that dude for all these years has been like, man, I just...

I just pray that, and I mean this when I say I pray, like I pray he shows a glimmer of who he used to be. The guy that inspired me to be who I am right now. And it's just like, I hate when you start talking like this because then I start getting, he brings out emotions. It's like one let down after another. You know what I mean? So when it happens, it's like me and Upchurch was talking about it yesterday. We were like, the saddest part is, this is the last thing I'll say about it, is that

We were all calling each other behind the scenes, watching this Adam thing play out before it played out with excitement. Oh, yeah. Like we were all secretly like, yo, man, like what if this dude goes over there and this works? Like what if this turns out cool? What if he's sober?

You know what I'm saying? What if he's coherent and makes sense and lays a banger and did a, did a, did a, you know, like what if all this, like we're talking to each other, like kind of excited. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? It's like, you know, you're like, it's like the old coach who goes to play football again. Yeah. It's like, exactly. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Or the guy, um,

My favorite movie, I always reference the movie Cool Runnings. It's my favorite movie ever. You know, when John Candy came back to coach, that moment where you're like, John's going to do it! Yeah! You know, like, I was having that moment. And then he just fucking does what he always does and gets in the way of himself. There's always one kid who shits in the pool. Motherfucker! You just shit in the pool? Yeah. The last thing I'll say, and that's all I got to say about it is,

There's a part of me that's glad it happened because it showed a part of me that I needed to see again. And that part was, after that happened, there was a slight little thing that said, you should go home. And I was like, no, fuck that. I'm not going home. I'm staying here. I got a job to do. And that's what makes...

want to follow you and give them inspiration. Absolutely. When shit hits the fan, what are you going to do? You don't fucking tuck your tail and run. Who would I be if I did that? I'm not who I say I am. Yeah, exactly. I understand that so much. There's a part of me that is glad that it happened, you know?

So here he sits in the middle of Nashville on the dumb line. Spilling all of his stories. Well, moving on, you know, a lot of people want to know about your personal life. You know, they want to know, they want to know who Adam Calhoun is bone. And a lot of people asked about you and Sav. And I was just like, that's insane. They were just like, were they an item? Were they this? Were they that? And I was just like, I don't know. I'll ask him, but we'll see. I mean, we worked well together and, and, and looked, it looked nice. Yeah. Totally. Yeah. And, uh,

You know, we did a lot. We worked. I did three records, I believe, with her. Yeah. You know. But yeah, no, nothing ever happened like that. We love Sav over here. Sav's my baby. So you have a little girl. Shout out Mako. Shout out Mako Music. We love you, Bravo. Bob. Hey, Bob. So you have a little girl on the way.

And you are with a beautiful lady who's got a fucking nice ass, by the way. She's got all the hams. Listen, the shitter on that critter is amazing. She's got all the hams. Shout out Margie's ass, okay? Because it is fucking really nice. How long have you guys been together? Margie was there with me, picking me up from the train station, walking.

When I had no license, no car, and she was like this beacon of light, kind of like the sailor sea, you know, the big light when the waves are crashing. And, you know, winter, snow, rain, she was always there when I had nothing. She's never heard me talk like this. I love that, though. I think it's so sweet. I don't tell her any of these things, so.

But you're changing and her hearing that, just hearing that, you know, is going to be really special. She she was there and it was crazy because I'm not a guy that's ever been tied down to a chick. And I can remember I broke up with her and she was taken. She wasn't taking no for an answer. And I said, OK, you want to be let's do this. Let's move in together and let's just do it.

And we moved in together. We lived in this little shitty duplex. And then, you know, I got a better job. We moved in like a townhouse. And then, you know, the money started coming from the apparel. And then, you know, I quit the job and we moved into... I brought $180,000 in cash to buy this house. And they're like...

that's not how you buy a house. You know, that's, you know, and, and, and so I had to go and do paperwork and sign for it. And that's how I was whenever we were buying our house. I'm like, so what do we do? What are we doing here? Yeah. And then, and, uh, we bought this little tiny house. It's even today. She's like, I would trade all this, you know, if you, if your mind, cause my mind goes on me sometimes my soul, I never sold my soul. I would never do that. But if I feel like it's taken the parts of my soul, given my life and my, my world to everybody around me. But, uh,

Um, she's like, I'd give everything sometimes just for you to be okay and go back to that little tiny 900 square foot house. And, um, so we got from that house and we, we bought, we bought the big fucking house and she didn't even know I bought it. One day I just went there and I said, this is the one. And, uh, I drove her to the house and she's like, I was like, this is our house now. And it's just a big, you know, the driveway is a quarter mile long, you know, and, uh, you know,

She's been there for me, you know going to the hospital Fucking my jaw and lip hanging off me in a bar fight She see me she was with me when I would be drunk and never come home for three days and pull up in the driveway Halfway out of the car. She you know, she fucking should not be with me to this day, but she stayed It's a good woman. That's what women are supposed to do. She got a better me, you know, I spent four years No drinking

You know, she I mean shit she was there with me and struggle We're shooting our video and I fucking got second third degree burns all over my arm. She's been in the hospital a lot of times She's got to deal with her own trauma She was always there when I had nothing. Oh, it didn't never want nothing. She's the most unmaterialistic person. She's selfless. Um

and she's beautiful and she's part of the reason why I am here today. She's part of my story. But I kind of try to keep her away from

industry and what I do and two and I'm going to say some shit that people might not understand but I know you guys are going to understand that's my life at home and then I do have a life that's not at home when I am on the road and I'm away from home and there's women around and do you guys have an open relationship? Sometimes I want to suck on a nipple a big fat nipple but

We're going to talk about that. I heard you say that the other day. Do you guys have an open relationship or you guys just have an understanding? No, this is tough. This is tough. This is tough. No, no.

If she was with a guy, I would fucking go. I don't know what I would do. I would be upset. But she understands that you're a musician and there's shit that goes on. Yeah, but she doesn't ask and she doesn't. And I used to be kind of bad with it as far as.

you know, just not being the greatest ever. I think all dudes go through that. Yeah, but I didn't know, I didn't know, what am I doing? I mean, there's fucking porn stars and all this shit around me all the time. Right. And I'm like, you know, you got these crazy bitches with tattoos all over their asses and faces and I'm just like,

you're a fucking degenerate i'm in heaven you know and listen that's how i feel so i totally understand i'm like i'm like you in the relationship and jay's like just chill i'm a fucking degenerate this is my chance and i'm going let's fuck where are we going you know and i'm you know i think it's cool that you guys have an understanding though because you know that's what makes it work dude that's how jay and i are too you know she has an understanding motherfucker you better bring your ass home and don't be doing no bullshit but she knows that she's your home you know you're

A woman can be home. You don't have to have a house to be a home. A woman can be your home. No, I'm not running around with no girls, like fucking trying to be with no girls or fucking that shit. But I...

I'm looking and seeing. What is it with you and big areolas? I heard you say this the other day. I'm looking at this and there's going to be an areola on the lip. It's all about ratio. I've seen some fucking... Look at the tits on that horse. You've seen some big fucking titties and then they got this little dime for a nipple. I want a big...

Areola on that big ass titty with some veins feeding it and just fucking shake that motherfucker, you know? Are you a tits or an ass guy? You know, I got so spoiled with... I love... I mean, look, I think God created... When he created a woman's butt and it's so soft and just like...

You know, I just want to hug your butt with my face and just like all the juices. I don't even care. You could just go run a couple of miles and just come back and sit down, you know? So, but then I got kind of spoiled with butts and I'm kind of like, yeah, I think I'd say 60%.

titty 40% butt now. Gotcha. So it just kind of flip-flops whenever you have less of the other. Yeah, you know. Yeah. Daddy, what are you? You're an ass. You're a tits guy. What are you? I'm probably with Adam. Yeah. He just likes bitches. It doesn't matter. He doesn't really care. The only way we turn them down is face down. Face down, baby. The only way we turn them down. What is going on with this Pop-Tart situation? Okay.

So you understand, I always broadcast me, me, no matter what day I'm having. So my thing with people, they're always like, man, I want to do what you do. I'm like, first of all, no, you don't. They don't understand what goes into it. This is the hardest job I've ever had in my life. But I always tell them, say the things that you think to yourself that you're like, well, that's fucked up. And say that.

Fucking say that. That's what people want to hear, right? Yeah, no, for sure. So I was up one night. I go downstairs. It's like 2 in the morning, and I'm looking through the pantry, and I'm like, yeah, fuck yeah, there's Pop-Tarts. There's chocolate Pop-Tarts. I'm fucking eating them and stuff, and I'm like, I'm talking to myself in my kitchen. I'm like, yeah, I just fuck moms and eat Pop-Tarts. And I'm making voices and shit, you know, because there is a part of me that still is funny. I used to be way funnier. Now I'm more kind of like...

I feel like I've gotten more serious in my old age, too. Well, the music business will suck. If you're not careful. I was looking at old vlogs of mine the other day. I was like, man, I used to be on fire. Yeah. I'm fucking fat and old and angry. Baby, you're hilarious. You are a funny motherfucker. No, Jelly is funny. Once he gets in the pocket, he starts going. Oh, no. He's fucking hilarious, dude. So, yeah, I was making that voice and shit, and I just got on my phone. I was like, listen. Yeah.

I'm coming to fuck everybody's mom. Just have Pop-Tarts ready. And then people, I did a thing the next day, like questions, and they're like, how many Pop-Tarts would it take for you to come fuck my mom? So I'm like, all right, this is the thing. I could probably do about 100. Literally, that's what the questions were saying. I was like, what the fuck is going on here? How many times has somebody gave you a Pop-Tart at a show? Every single show. So every show I go to, they bring me boxes of Pop-Tarts. And my favorite thing, my uncle Jimmy Rexx,

Do you got Uncle Jimmy Rex? Probably not. He's from Pikeville, Kentucky in the back in the coal mines, but he gave me a moon pie and that was, I fucking love moon pies. I got a painting of a moon pie in my house. We had those when we did the jail hacks, right? Yo, the jail hacks are the best. We put the moon pie between two of the old fashioned cookies and then microwaved.

Are you talking about prison shit? Oh, yeah. We did prison. Oh, yeah. You ever eat some prison shit? Yes. My husband made me some fucking dope as shit ever. I mean, I don't know. We made a Fifi. Yeah. Oh, I was so excited. Did you touch the Fifi? I wanted to use it on him. He wouldn't let me. What's so funny is there's so many people that don't have zero clue what a fucking Fifi is. All you got to do is go back and watch our jail hacks video. You'll figure it out. It was squishy.

Yeah, I liked it. I thought it was fun. Squishy. This is an acceptable word. Moist. One of the worst words in human. Moist and panties. I don't like the word panties. You know what I don't like? Moist and neat. Neat.

Neat? When somebody's like, that's neat. Yeah, fuck you. Hey, that's neat. It's like, nothing's fucking neat, bitch. Like, fucking, ugh. I want to call you, you're a fucking, can we say dork? You're a fucking dork. You're a fucking nerd. I say nerd all the time. I'm like, you're a fucking nerd. Last thing, last question I'm going to ask you because we pretty much touched all the questions is everybody wants to know who your celebrity crush is and who you would want to bang. Dude, this is the last, this is going to take a half an hour.

Jesus. It's all right. That's fine. Roll call. Daddy's like, my food's downstairs. I'm very, I like a lot of the Hispanic women. My first crush I think I ever had in my entire, no, I take that back. My first crush I ever had in my entire life was Tyra Banks when she was on the cover of Sports Illustrated. You're talking way back in the day. Tyra was that bitch though back then. Oh God, man. And then Selma Hayek, Shakira, Penelope Cruz, like, um,

Shit like that. And now I don't really have celebrity crushes. I just see the baddest bitches on Instagram. I don't know who they are, but there's like millions of them. Yeah. And I'm just like, do you like fucking pizza? You know what I mean? My celebrity crushes are... My celebrity crush is like J-Lo, Salma Hayek, shit like that. Yeah, just pretty basic shit. Yeah, nothing crazy.

My wife's got a crush on J-Lo, too. When she celebrated her 50-something birthday or something, whenever it was, didn't she just turn 50-something? My wife was like, this is who my wife is, for the record. She's like, did you see this picture of J-Lo's ass? She's 50-something. Look, and she's like, that's my wife. That's where I'm going to be, dude, when I'm fucking hitting 50. I got fucking, what, eight, nine years, and I'll be there. My favorite white... I'll be feeling on that ass. My favorite white girl of all time, I think, has got to be...

Jessica Simpson back in the day dude I just read her book and let me tell you it was fucking awesome she's her mind is beautiful and people don't even realize that I would go with Jessica Simpson back in the day and Salma Hayek those are my two favorites no I love Jessica Simpson too man she's fine

Adam, it's been so sweet having you here. Thank you for having me. I almost cried. I know. No, a couple times. A couple times. I almost. Yo, dear. He started to almost cry about the Margie thing. And then I teared up. I looked at Bunny. She was tearing up. I was like, I'm working the break right now. No, I almost got up because my son asked me one time. He said, Dad, how come you never cry? And listen,

Not crying does not make you fucking tough. It makes you an asshole. We should have cried it out together. I know. I almost got up, man. I've never talked about Margie. I don't even tell her those things. But anyways, I'm so glad you did, though. We'll send the clip to her. Yeah, no, I'm so glad you did. I'm going to tell Margie. No, dude, I'm so happy that you came. And I hope to have you back as many times. Dude, my couch is your couch. You can come lay down with a blanket anytime.

I will be there. I'll be there. We'll have a blanket next time. Daddy, thank you for being the best co-host ever. I'll suck you off later. Dude, I just, I stayed out of the way. Yeah, you did. You really didn't talk that much this time. No, that was my goal. I was just here for support. Normally, he literally fucking won't shut up or get off the podcast. Every time I bring him on, I have to fight him. This isn't my podcast. I'm just with the home. I thought it went awesome. Well, thank you guys so much. And thank you guys for tuning in to another episode of Dumb Blonde. I will see you guys next week. Bye.

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