Ask, Tell, Confess: Bunnie's New Beefy Boys
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Hello, Fran. Welcome to Ask Talking Fans. I did a short one for all the people at home who get upset whenever I fucking...

forever in their ear staccato hi guys happy fucking new year bitches oh it is the new year we're one week in of the new year so this is gonna come out when in like a day or two yeah i've ended up with cows i somehow have i'm a fucking cow farmer now and i ended up with a cow yeah i did not for everyone asking haley does not have a cow no okay and you not only are a cow mom

donkey we've got a dog we call him donk oh i love donk the donk well i call him donk jay calls him donkey and he is so excited i can't believe that video ended up getting 14 million views that's damn crazy who knew farm content got so many views i'm gonna be out there with the cows every fucking day donkey's here daddy your donkey's here i'm gonna leave it till i see it where's my hair look

- Ravishing. - First impressions last a lifetime. It's my first time seeing donkeys. - Do you have any words before you meet your donkey? - I'm excited, the donkey's gonna rob me.

We're friends forever. Do you want to send him a message? To your future donkey, I loved you from day one. There's no way he's standing up right now. He's standing up here. No, no, I'm telling you, he's laying down. No, he's standing up. That dog, that donkey's not that small. He's that small. He's a mini donkey. Oh, this is the best donkey ever. Oh my God, he's standing up. What's up, doggie?

oh my gosh he's so cute but he's so cute

I'm worried he's a wild donkey. They're struggling. I mean, he's a stubborn fucker. They're struggling to get him in the fence. I like the donkey. I can't believe he's that small. Oh, I love the little donkey. Look at his little white nose.

People say I exploit the kids. Man, I'm going to exploit the fuck out of these cows. Can't wait. I'm just going to be like out there. You guys are going to be like, okay, does she ever not hang out with the cows? What's happening? Both of our pages right now are just cows. Yeah. Cow and donkey.

No, but yeah, that was a, what happened was it kind of fell into our lap. And in a way, I just want to let people know, everybody's like, you guys should have rescued. You should have done this. In a way we kind of did rescue. Of course we paid for the cows, but at the same time, these cows were,

gonna get split up or they were gonna go to separate homes so what we did is we just went in got all three of them and let's tell the story because we can insert the footage now i didn't want to post it because i didn't want people to be like what a bitch you know um but at first i think what happened so when mimi had found these cows she's like these three

are being sold for X amount of dollars. And I was like, okay, cool. So I immediately hit Jason and Jason and I had been looking for a cow for you and Kayla anyways. So we had already been planning that. I had no idea guys. Yeah. I love that. I thought they were just getting, I knew that Kayla was getting cows. I would never just get Kayla a cow and not get you one.

That was so fucking rude. Yeah, but I really didn't think Jason would have let me. But anyways, honestly, I got to give a shout out Blizzard, Blake, Kayla's husband. It was really his idea and I just fucking took it over like I do with everything. That's why I know they don't ever let me get involved in shit because I'm like, oh, my idea. Okay, cool. But he let me fucking do the whole thing. So anyways.

We were me, Blake and Jason were literally sending each other cows, this cows, that cows that. And then Mimi was sending us cows. Well, maybe he sent me the three and I was like, oh my God, it's perfect. There's a white one. There's a brown one. And then there's a fucking black one. Emo tonight will be the night, you know? So it was perfect. And I was just like, okay, cool. We'll get, we'll take these two. Cause immediately Blake was like, Kayla's going to want either the brown one or the white one. And I was like, I'll either want the brown one or the white one. And then Mimi, our little goth fucking duckling gets the goth one, you know?

We get there and the goth one is a little bit bigger than the rest of them. A little. He's twice the size of the other two. He actually looks like a lightweight buffalo. I call him Buffalo often. Yes, he looks like a little buffalo.

So, but he has the best personality out of all three of them. Like he is so sweet. Very outgoing. So, you know, we surprised Buggy and I'm like, okay, Buggy, which one do you want? Buggy's like, I want the white one. And then I looked over at Mimi and I was like, and that one's yours. You know? And Mimi was like, no. And me and Jason both go, we look at each other and she's like, no. I agree.

no no she didn't mean it on grateful she was sizing him up like do we have room for this guy because he's a big dude at one acre no like when you meet him you guys he's big he broke my toe like he's a big guy yeah and he's and he's an aries so he literally like that's him is that how he walks literally his head movement like he's always moving his head and like bucking and just like he's he's a

- He's fucking a beefy boy. - Yeah. - He knows he's the biggest. - And I've got little kids. Oh, he knows. - Yeah. So me, he was like, "Uh, no." And I was like, "Are you sure?" And she's like, "No, mm-mm." And I was like, "All right, well." And the dude was like, "I can't split them up." And I was like, I felt really bad 'cause I didn't wanna be like, "Okay, I'll take these two and you stay." You know, like be the fucking outcast of the crew.

So I was like, fuck it. I'll take all three of them. So we get them home and, you know, Jason texts me. He's like, I did not see it going that way. And I was like, yeah, me either. But I didn't care because, you know, it's like, whatever. Everything happens for a reason. Let's also say I don't do good with last minute changes. Right. So you can't surprise me. This is why I don't do good with surprises because I already I need to evaluate everything and I panic. Yeah. So they had gone to go look at like other other cows or whatever. And I was just shocked.

Coping with the fact that I have three fucking cows now. And, you know, I went out there to feed them the next day and fucking he's just was such a big dude that he just like bullies his way through. And like the other two are so much smaller than him. And fucking s'more is so docile and so sweet. Oh, he's just like he is so he is buggy. Mm hmm.

If Bug was a fucking Highland cow, that is fucking Bug. And he is so bonded to Bug, he goes up to her and just lays his head on her and snuggles on her. He loves her. Crunch is all me, baby. I fucking love Crunch. Crunch don't give a fuck about nobody. He's got an attitude problem, and he's just like, dude, if you're not feeding me, bye. He does not care. But he loves me now, because I'll go out there and I'll be like, hi, Crunch Crunch. And he...

He gets really jealous. He gets really jealous. I gotta watch. You calling another animal? Yes, I gotta watch what I say whenever I'm around Chachi because he gets crazy. Better hold him down if they were being unloaded and shit. He had a full panic attack. The pan over to say saying Chachi's having a breakdown sent me.

That's the funniest part of the whole video. He was, he was. And so I just was like, I felt bad because one, we have them in a smaller pen right now. I know he's pissed. He's looking for crunch. You can't say crunch his name around him. He gets really fucking just defensive. It's okay, baby. Why is the heat on fucking hell?

The door's normally open. Can you open the door right there? Good lord. He's literally like rolling his eyes right now. No, he gets so mad. If I say it again, he'll get up and run around. Do you want me to do it? Please. Crunch, crunch. I love you, crunchy. Crunchy. Oh my goodness, crunch, crunch. He's like, where?

where is the son of a he is so jealous of his new cow brother it's unreal dude like he it's okay it's okay i love you crunchy's not here he's not here when was the last time you needed to go to a doctor but you pushed it off made the excuse of i'm too busy it'll heal on its own i don't need help i think we've all been there booking a doctor appointment can just feel so daunting

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I don't know about you guys, but when I'm sick, the last thing I want to do is get dressed, get in my car and drive to a doctor. If I can do it from the comfort of my own home, which is what I do, you bet your buttons I'm going to do it. Stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to ZocDoc.com slash bunny to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today. That's Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash bunny. B-U-N-N-I-E. ZocDoc.com slash bunny. ZocDoc.com slash bunny.

Lipo used to be such a bad word, but we are also supposed to act like we love every part of our bodies. It's BS. I know that especially after 40, it is so hard to keep your body in shape. I mean, I work out three to four times a week, eat right, have no joy in life, and it's all because of genetics. So getting your body back is so hard. I get it. That's why I want you guys to check out Sonabello.

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one visit, check out Sono Bello. Save big during their New Year's savings event. Schedule your free consultation now at sonobello.com-bunny. B-U-N-N-I-E. That's sono, B-E-L-L-O dot com slash bunny. So anyways, long story short, fucking Brownie, his name went from Milk Dud to Brownie because I hated the Milk Dud, who's now Pablo, S-K-L-B-A-R. Sorry.

Fucking Brownie was headbutting S'more and I was just and you heard it. It was like like it lights were on and nobody's home and S'more does not have a big brain. It echoed. Okay. It was like a hallway. It was really bad and I felt so bad for him. I even have it on video. I'm like Brownie you just fucking headbutted the shit out of your brother. And so Jay my husband came to me and said that

He was really upset because everybody else in the family got a farm animal and he didn't get one. And I looked at him and I was like, are you really upset? And he's like, yeah. And I was like, what do you want? He's like, I want a donkey.

And I was like, just like that. I was like, okay. So somehow I think, was it you that found the donkey? I had gone out to the farm that night when we dropped off the cows and we went to this farm up the, like about an hour away from our house and they had a donkey there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So they happened to have a fucking mini donkey that was like, I think it's like four years old. Right. Yeah. They had a mini donkey there named Grizz.

So I was like, okay, bring them on, bring them on. So we get, we have all four of the animals in there. And while they were there, I was just like, Mimi had decided to, I had texted Mimi that morning and I was like, I think we're going to have to get rid of Brownie. Cause he's way too aggressive. Hoping that was me like throwing the hook out there, hoping that she would be like,

We'll take them. And it actually did work out because Mimi was like, okay, I've had time to think about it. And she's like, I really want them. And I was like, oh my God, this is perfect. I text Jason. I'm like, she wants it. Well, Jason was texting me saying,

I don't care if she gets mad at me, just bring the fucking cow over here. It's where he's like, he's like, she's either going to get mad at me or she's going to fucking be happy. He's like, so either way, if she, if she flips out when the, when the cow gets here, um, we'll just figure something out. He's like, but I really think that she's going to fall in love with this cow. Yeah. And then Mimi had texted me and said, okay, we want the cow. So I hit Jason. I was like, she knows that she wants the cow. And he's like, that's fucking great. So,

We load up the cow, okay? And this is the sad part. We load up Brownie. We say goodbye. He starts crying because he's so bonded to...

uh s'more and crunch and crunch is like like crying over the thing he's crying i mean it was not bailey starts crying like it was a whole scene in our fucking front yard but i was like you know what they're fucking cousins like yeah and he's going to an amazing home so mimi gets pablito no and he hasn't stopped crying no he tried to break into my house

So we understand that they're herd animals. We are working very digitally. Diligently? Diligently. I almost said digitally. To find him a friend. But again, I wasn't prepared to bring home this large of an animal. So we have to build him a pen. He's now in Opie's run right now. Destroying it, by the way. And we have to literally bring someone out to build him a pen and an overhang. We weren't prepared.

Like I thought I would have something small that could go into the garage and like he couldn't even fit through a doorway if he wanted to with his horn. Like he's ginormous. So we are, we are doing our best to accommodate him first so that when we do bring him in a friend, then, but right now he's upset because he doesn't have a friend, but he loves Zach top. He loves it. He bonded to me. So he tries to come in my bedroom window at night. And so he broke my screen open and,

He got his head stuck in the fence. But if I play him Zach Top, he just really just chills out. We found that out all my life. As a joke. Play up fucking Beethoven, though. I'll try that. I heard cows love classical music. I'm going to have to try it because it's... There's a frequency in it. Maybe. I don't know. There's a frequency in classical music, apparently, that's completely different from other music. He's going to go have a play date, though. So he's on his way to a play date with the horses that Olivia...

Oh God. Is he going to fucking buck them though? He's, he's, I mean, it's, it's like a, they all have their stalls and stuff and he'll go out into the big run and there's like, get him there.

He's going to pick him up in a trailer. Okay. No, I'm going to put him in the back of my car. That's what I was thinking. He's a big boy. No, his horns. He doesn't even look that big on camera. No. You get him in person and he's lightweight and intimidating. He's up to me. Yeah, no. Like, Jason's actually... So, I found out Jason's scared of him. Okay. I'm very confidently, like, loving on him. If you're assertive with him, he'll listen. Oh, I know. Like, he got into my chicken feed and it's really bad for cows. So, I literally had to grab him by the tail and the horn and...

like yeet them out of there because they've got so many metals in chicken food it could hurt the cow so i had to get him out of there well as that was all going down i we were like okay we'll go back in your pen for right now we'll clean up the chicken feed you can come back out into the large run and i got a little too confident with him and he got pissed and stepped back and like full force stepped on my pinky toe so i got a broken toe right now right at the knuckle um it sucks but

I mean, it's part of it, you know? Yeah. I mean, we're farmers now. Yeah, we're farmers now. Farmersonly.com. Ooh. Sign me up. We could sign up now. Can we please put you on there just to see? You want a blue collar man so bad. Dude, can we please do it? You guys, should we put Haley on farmersonly.com? Let's video the whole thing. Okay. We'll swipe together. Oh, we're doing it today, baby. It's happening after this. Today. Oh.

Get your picture. What's your profile picture going to be on Farmers Only? We'll go get a picture of you with the cows. Okay. You and Crunch. Oh, Crunch loves to post. You're going to be asking me questions about cows. I know nothing.

Just be like, I don't know. I just, these are my friend's cows. I just thought I needed it to be on this fucking website. It's a photo shoot. Listen, every picture is a different, is like different cows. Farmers make money. One of my sugar daddies was a watermelon farmer. Nice. Bro was loaded. We're going to start a farm. That's my next venture. Yeah. I love a farmer. So are we, we're going to, our next adventure is pigs. Yeah. I grew up on a farm. I'd like another. Yeah.

It's time for you, Haley. It's time for you to settle down on the farm. Well, we got to, we got to, she had a hard time moving this last time. She's finally adjusted to her place. So maybe. It took six months. Yeah. So maybe we let her stay there for a couple of years and then we move her. Yeah. Haley doesn't do good with moves. No. We just have to get a boyfriend who lives on a farm so you can go visit. Yeah. Like start getting. Would you date a big old fucking corn fed booty? Yeah.

When I picture farmers, I picture just big old fucking rumps. Do you? Yeah. And my farmer fantasy, yes. That's what's happening. Just wearing overalls and just big old fucking... Like my husband, when Jay wears overalls...

And we'll suck him off in a heartbeat. Yeah. What? Always, always. You know what? I was just thinking that we made it through an ask, tell, confess without anything sexual or disgusting. You brought it up. I,

Listen. You always bring up the butts. Listen, because all I think about is my husband and fucking overalls. He looks so hot. I will say the coolest thing is watching my husband turn into a farmer. I'm like, put that vest on. You look hot in a vest. Like he got these Carhartt looking vests now to put over his hoodies when he goes out. Give me some for Jay. I will.

Show me where to get them. Yeah, no, he just literally, he's obsessed. He got one and he was like, how do I look? And I was like, I actually really liked the vest on him. I always clown people. Would you suck them off with just the vest on? Yes, I would. I would. I would. He's going to be editing this and he's going to come downstairs and just the best. But he has to have the boots on. So only boots and the vest. Yes. With a piece of straw hanging out of his mouth. Yeah, I'll give it to me. Jason, I'm painting a fantasy for you right now.

That's so funny. Yeah, that's good. What's going to happen? But yeah, I'll get the cowl being the beacon and watching you guys in the shower. She said she'll look out the window and he's just take a picture. You guys, if I have to close all my blinds in the back of the house, because he's like this.

All the time. He wants to know what you're doing. And if I start walking inside, I can hear him behind me. He's chasing after me as I go towards the back door. And then he gets up there and he gets to it because he doesn't like to get on the concrete. He just puts one foot on the concrete and looks at me. And I'm like, go away. And he's just...

I love that you guys are getting to bond though because he's an Aries and so Jason's an Aries. Mimi is a Taurus but she's got fucking an Aries stellium. I think she has like six planets. Crunch has my birthday and his name's Crunch. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. Shit. Crunchy muffin. Isn't that weird? But I also have, Chachi's real name is Crochy after Jim Crochy so I've got Croach and Crunch. Oh.

I say it all the time. That's why Chachi's really jealous too because he hears the, you know. It's close. So he's like, bitch, what are you calling this dog my name? Like, he hates it. But he's better now. Love.

Well, in our Ask, Tell, Confess, we have now set up for you guys to be able to call in and tell us your Ask, Tell, Confesses. You can text it or you can call it. Yeah, this happened without my knowledge. So I love it. We talked about it. I forgot. I didn't know we were starting it yet. Should we give the number out so people can call it? Only on Patreon. You can go to the Patreon to get the number and you can text it or you can call it. Any tier on Patreon? Yep. As long as you're a Patreon, you can be a part of our...

are Collins. So we got a lot. There was a lot to go through. So we're not going to play all of them, but let's find a good one. We've got time for one today and the next episode we'll do more. All right. Let's see. Hi, baby. Can you hear that? My name's Nicole. Like 10 years ago or so, I found out my then boyfriend was cheating on me with a much younger girl.

And I had been begging to go to this fair. And he kept telling me, like, oh, no, I don't feel like it. He kept putting it off. Well, I ended up finding out somehow that he took this girl to the fair that I had been begging to go to. After the fair, I obviously didn't know he was there, but he invited me to his house that night to spend the night with him. But then I just couldn't find his phone anywhere. He had his phone hidden between the bed and

like the mattress and the wall, which was so weird, so not like him. I went on his phone, found all the messages from this girl, blah, blah, blah. The next day, he turned it around. It was all my fault that he did this to me. So I ended up finding out where his car was parked, his truck. And I blasted Carrie Underwood before he cheats all the way to his truck. Needless to say, I splashed a hole in all four tires.

Maybe next time he'll think before he freaking cheats. Okay? I'm not completely proud of what I did, but at the same time, he deserved it. So that's my story. I love you guys. Yeah, we love her. What was her name? Nicole. Nicole. Listen, man.

I don't condone violence, but I had to think of what I was, how I was going to put this. I don't condone violence anymore in my old age, but listen, I've done some fucked up shit to dudes I've caught cheating. Like what's one of them?

One of the milder ones that I can't fucking be, uh, that I can talk about would be, uh, I had an ex named Clint who was cheating on me and I was like in love with this dude. And he's like freckles, like red hair, like dude. But he was like, he was like,

so dope and like he was like um like one of the coolest dudes and he was in a gang and like you know he was just super alpha he's a Sagittarius go figure I end up marrying a Sagittarius that one threw me off what not the ginger in the gang two freckles in a

But he used to fight like a motherfucker. The dude was crazy. And I think that's what I'm attracted to. So anyways, he was cheating on me and I caught him at his baby mama's house and his car was parked outside. So Tasha was with me and I think it was me, Tasha and my girl Stacy. And we, we went to the store and bought like, it had to have been like $10,

Three of those, you know double stacked egg things, you know what I'm talking about that has all the eggs in them. Yeah, the flats. Just the big ol' flats of eggs and we went back to his house and or to her the baby mama's house and I'm talking like just pelted his fucking car with every one of these eggs dude and this is in Vegas. Vegas heat shit dries on your car like if you don't catch it right? Yes.

So I mean, we're bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop. He must have thought it was gunshots because it was literally just so many eggs, but it's three girls just fucking going at it, dude.

We fucking take off, dude. We get to one of the lights up by the Mormon temple in Vegas and fucking all of a sudden we're sitting at the light and we see his car pull up to the light with fucking just eggs covering this car. I mean, the shit was still dripping off of it and he's just looking in every direction to see who egged his fucking car. No. Did he see you? No. Never got caught. What? No way. I told him later on, but yeah. He pulled up next to you and didn't see you. He was across. So we were making...

making a left and he was right here. So, Oh my God. I'm so glad we didn't get caught in that moment though. Cause he would have probably lost his shit. But, and he was mad when I told him later on, like, Hey, you remember when your car got egged? It was me. You told him? Of course. That is too good of a story to not ever claim. What are you talking about? How long had it been since like,

Probably a couple months. It was probably a couple months. Oh, I thought you meant this was like years later. No, no, no. I told him a couple months later. I was like, oh, by the way, I ain't going to cry. That was me. Yeah. There's a few other things, but saying that much, Nicole, I mean, listen. I didn't see anything. These dudes. I didn't hear a single word you said. Yeah, I didn't hear that. Listen, don't start, none won't be none is my slogan. So, I mean, we love you, our fellow violent baddie. Yeah.

At least it wasn't him she fucking slashed, you know? You could have slashed him. Yeah, it could have been worse. It could have been way worse. I mean, tires can be replaced. But anybody that's listening to this, do not go and slash anybody's fucking tires because we think it's okay. Please don't. We don't think it's okay. We just mean that, like, you know, we understand in that moment that you were filled with rage. Yeah, and I'm pretty sure insurance only covers it when it's all four, so only do three.

Yeah, always, always. Or put sugar in the gas tank. That always helps.

What does that do? It fucks up your entire car. Completely. Sugar? Sugar in the gas tank, yeah. Or the vents that are in the front. I can see the headline now. Bunny XO teaches young girls how to fucking fuck their significant other's cars up. Yeah. It's pretty... The vents that are at the bottom of the front windshield. Yeah. Pour piss in there. The whole car will smell like piss every time you turn the AC on. Oh, yeah. You're fucked. Huh?

All right. Thank you guys for listening to another Ask Helicon Fest. Bye-bye.