Shownotes Transcript
Spring is in the air. The weather is warming up and I'm most looking forward to spending more time on the farm with Crunchy and S'more. When the weather's warmer, I can be out there for hours just enjoying the fresh air and their company. I'm looking forward to it even more because I've started using Lumi whole body deodorant, which can
actually handle anything unlike some DOs I've tried in the past. Lumi has really given me more confidence especially when I'm out with the animals or working in the studio. I can stay fresh and comfortable all day which lets me focus on what I love doing without distractions.
As a special offer, new customers get 15% off all Lume products with our exclusive code and link. Use code BUNNYXO at LumeDeodorant.com. That's L-U-M-E-D-E-O-D-O-R-A-N-T.com. I've mainly used Lume on my armpits and it works wonders there, but I've also tried it on other areas like my feet after a long day. It's so versatile and I love that I can trust it to keep me feeling fresh no matter where I apply it.
Now I have super exciting news to share. Lume just came out with a brand new scent, Vanilla Bliss, and it's my favorite. Way more than the coconut now. It's super cozy, a pitch perfect mix of vanilla bean and sandalwood, sweet but not too sweet, and even though it only just came out, it's apparently already on its way to being one of their most popular scents.
Honestly, I get it though. I can't wait to make it my scent for spring. Lumi's Starter Pack is perfect for new customers. It comes with a solid stick deodorant, cream tube deodorant, two free products of your choice like mini body wash and deodorant wipes, and free shipping.
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lumideodorant.com. That's code bunny XO at L U M E D E O D O R A N T.com. Please support our show and tell them we sent you smell fresher, stay drier and boost your confidence from head to toe with Lumi. Let's talk about what really drives success in selling. It's not just the product. It's the business behind the business.
Take Aloe Yoga and Gymshark, two brands that have absolutely dominated the activewear space. Sure, they have great products, but what really sets them apart is their ability to build a seamless shopping experience, a strong community, and a brand people want to be a part of.
It's not just about selling leggings or gym gear. It's about the backend operations, the marketing automation, the personalized customer experience, and the data-driven decisions that keep them ahead. That's where platforms like Shopify come in. They power the storefront, handling the logistics, and making scaling possible. The brands you love, they're thriving because of the tech and strategy working behind the scenes.
So if you're a business owner looking to take that next step, think beyond just the product. The right tools and infrastructure can be the difference between a side hustle and a global brand. Nobody does selling better than Shopify, home of the number one checkout on the planet. And the not so secret secret was shop pay that boosts conversions up to 50%, meaning way less carts going abandoned and way more sales going cha-ching.
So if you're not into growing your business, your commerce platform better be ready to sell wherever your customers are scrolling or strolling on the web, in your store, in their feed, and everywhere in between. Businesses that sell more sell on Shopify. Upgrade your business and get the same checkout that I use for my website. Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at shopify.com slash bunny.
That's B-U-N-N-I-E, all lowercase. Go to shopify.com slash bunny, B-U-N-N-I-E, to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.com slash bunny. Hey guys, I need to ask you a question. I want to know why in the hell are you not on Patreon? I don't think you guys even realize how much content we have on Patreon. Let me break it down for you. We have the Bunny XO Show. We have Meet the D-Fords. We have Popaganda. We have more shows that we're adding every
And not to mention, we have the visuals of the podcast. Head over to www.patreon.com backslash dumb blonde podcast and sign up. Hello, friends.
Welcome to... I'm so withered and weary, guys. It's been a freaking long day. Welcome to AskTelkanFans.
How are you guys? We're great. Good. Back at it, baby. We're trying to get this Aztalk confessing before a tornado touches down. I've been looking at the radar over here. How's it looking? Not nice. But where's it at? The entire middle. Like right now, is it like
In Memphis or is it in Nashville? No, it's like west of us right now. Well, we're fine. We got a minute. I can get home and see my animals. I can hear the wind. Yeah, the trees. Throwing stuff out the window though. Who wants to kick it off? Oh God. All right. If it's about fucking buttholes and shit, I don't want to hear it.
That's all we got. That's all we got. Well. Okay, I'm going. Okay. All right, go. A fiery nightmare. Oh, God. This is anonymous. It says, my most embarrassing story ever. Only five people know this. The day after Super Bowl 2007, my ex-husband wanted to try anal. I was like, okay. I told him to go to the kitchen and get the olive oil.
He came back with a small cup of oil. A few seconds later, I started to freak out, then crying. I sobered up instantly. Well, the day before, he made homemade hot wings with habanero peppers, and he grabbed the pepper oil off the stove. You will never appreciate ice cubes in a washcloth on your asshole until you try anal with hot peppers. Also an instant way to sober up.
Oh my gosh. Did he not look at the right bottle? How did you get those mixed up? Oh my. I feel like that would cause damage. Wait. I'm sure that probably hurt him too. Or did he not even. He might have not been able to get it in there yet.
I wonder if she lubed up first. Yeah, you have to lube up. And was like, wait a minute, something's wrong. He never even got to stick it in. Bro, if you had hemorrhoids, that shit was sizzling. I bet you those things like shriveled up and went back in. That might be a good way to get rid of hemorrhoids. I mean, someone tried to let me know. Burn those suckers off, baby. Dang. Oh, man. It's like when you accidentally buy the wrong kind of soap and it's like the spearmint. It burns. Yeah, and you accidentally like, oh, wow, someone is literally blowing on my butthole right now. Yeah.
I accidentally did that one time. What about you memes? Blew on your butthole? Wait a second. You accidentally did what? We're not going to brush over that. Like the wrong soap. Like if you get a spearmint and you like put it in places it shouldn't. Who the fuck uses spearmint soap? Well, you know. You use some of the craziest soap, dude. Me? Yes. Can we talk about this?
she will use like the fucking roughest fucking soap what soap is it that you use i use dr brauners okay wait first off johnson and johnson literally causes cancer so everything causes cancer that's what everybody says but i've been using it for years knock on wood and my skin is baby soft and i'm 45 and don't have one wrinkle baby yeah well reserve me
Preserve me. There's formaldehyde in it. There is formaldehyde in it. There is, I know. That's why I said preserve me.
Fucking, what do they call it? She meant that literally. What do they call it? Whenever they fucking drain all the shit out of the fucking bodies. What is it called? Embalming? Embalming, baby, with Johnson & Johnson. Okay. I love it. My hootenanny cannot fucking take any other watch. Yeah, you can't have anything else. If I use fucking any other soap, my hootenanny's like, rah, gets mad. It looks like something off of fucking, what is that show called?
The Dark Crystal. Have you guys ever seen it? I thought we were going Predator. It's an 80s fucking movie. And there's these like little like animals that get mad and they're furry. And that's what my vagina looks like. Oh, my God. Anything other than baby soap. Wow. I did go on like the UK app the other day in the hand soap because I'm washing my hands so much. You and I are struggling with this because now that we are farmers.
I am also afraid of salmonella. Like, yeah, because we have so many chickens and like, I know it's not that easy to get it, but I'm still freaked out about it. And we've got the babies and stuff. I wash my hands obsessively. I was in like the store the other day with my Yuka app and I scanned every single hand soap until I found one that, you know how long it took me to find a good hand soap? There's a lot of things that you think are good and they're not. But now I don't dry out.
Well, let me know what you're using because I'm over here with no nails and wrinkly hands. You guys look the same. I know. Well, you don't have nails on either. Why? I've been just painting. You guys are farmers now. I know. I'm going to start doing the builder gels and using my real ones. Yeah, that's same. That's what I want to do. I just took a set of gels off and I'm going to go put them back on. My nails are so strong. Yeah. My nails are so strong. I'm ready. Like, I think I'm ready for that transition. You just got a fresh set of talents. I'm tired of it. The new little like natural...
nail feel like I had a set on you know guys I put like a whole set on yeah I immediately next day was like I hate this oh I don't know why but I was like I need them off and so once they fell off I was like I'm not I just painted my naturals and I was like wait I kind of like this yeah that's how I felt with this last set that Gina did I was like I cannot wait till they come off yeah I just sat there and popped them all off yeah I don't know it's it's nice I enjoy maybe we're we're in our baby mama gardening area I'm here for it yeah I don't
My babies are lambs. And plus scratching animals, you get shit under your nails, dude. Oh my God. It was driving me crazy. I had a scrubber literally next to my sink to scrub under my nails when I put them back on because it freaked me out so bad. Yeah. If you get in there with the animals. Oh yeah. And then like you pull your hands away like. Oh, it's disgusting. It's disgusting. Oh, they roll in turds and everything. Yeah.
Fucking Crunch will have a dingleberry hanging off of him. Yeah. No. I looked out today as I was leaving. Dolly is rolling in a puddle. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what they do. All right. I'm next or you're next. You want to go next? You go ahead. I don't have anything good this time. Let me see. What do I got? What do I got? Ask from Jennifer.
I know you have mentioned before about being open to an, to have an interview podcast with someone that's in jail prison and wanted to know if you would consider doing that with Joe exotic, maybe get to the bottom of all our questions. When we all binge watch tiger King during COVID love y'all.
Well, it's funny you ask that because Joe has wanted to come on the podcast numerous times, but I have turned him down. He's a podcast whore. Yeah, he goes on everybody's podcast. I think he just went on Jesse Lawless's right when I was going to have a podcast with him. But if I did do a podcast with him, it would have to be in the prison. I don't want it on the phone. That's why none of his interviews connect with anybody and nobody's listening because they can't see him.
If they could see him and actually hear his words and like see him saying them, then yeah, they, people would listen. But he just literally goes on everybody's podcast and he's on everybody's fucking Instagram accounts. And it's just like, what have you got? Carol instead, Carol Baskin killed her husband. Yeah.
That was really great. Listen, 2020's TikTok was elite. Elite. I enjoyed those so much. Yeah. I don't know. I don't, I didn't really care for Carole Baskin. I thought she was a shit human. You know, she murdered her husband. I don't know about that. I don't think she did murder her husband. I think then they ended up finding him. There was a lot of rumors had that like he ran away to Mexico. Yeah. Recently he resurfaced. Yeah.
Something happened. Yeah, something happened. We'll have to check. I don't want, don't quote me on that guys, but I'm pretty sure that he has resurfaced. Okay. Let's talk about that real quick. I'm leaning into the whole ghost adventures. Have you guys actually learned about that story though? It wasn't just the fact that she tried to off him. She fell in love with a killer in jail.
So she marries him, right? And like falls in love with some dude who killed off his whole family over a cam girl that he fell in love with.
Yeah. And he spent, so you guys know control alt desire, the docu series it's on a paramount and he, this guy literally spent like his family's money. Like, is it about him? Yes. It's like $200,000. He like stole credit cards from his family and they confronted him and was like, we're taking your phone. You can't take our money anymore. And he walked in, got a gun and shot his whole family.
So he goes to jail and because they did the docu-series on him, all these women are like, oh my God, we love him. Is he hot? He's disgusting. Oh God. He looks like a thumb. And he talks to them like, can't wait to see your pussy. That's literally how he talks to them. Don't ever do that again. Wait till you see the videos of him. Insert here, Jason. Show me a picture of him. Hi, my precious little kitty. This is just amazing that I get to see you like this. Those beautiful little nipples that I just want to suck and bite on. I can't wait, baby.
I can't wait to show you. Oh, it's disgusting. So she sounds like your ex. Literally. They probably like each other. They probably know each other. Yeah, they probably fucking see each other. But that show is insane. I want to watch it. Leave it to me to seen it too. Yeah. You've seen the docuseries? Oh, dang. He looks like a ghost. He's terrifying. Okay, so dude...
She reaches out to, because she watches the docuseries, reaches out to him, falls in love. This is the dude from Ghost Adventures' wife. Wife. Who is like significantly younger than him. So she, not saying there's anything wrong with that, but like she... How much younger? Like I think he's in his 50s, she was in her 20s. Okay, well, I mean, that's kind of...
Not great either, you know? So he's questionable. Yeah. I don't know like their, their whole timeline or anything, but like at this time, she's like now in her late twenties, I believe. So she falls in love with this dude. He gets like a burner phone.
burner phones her and it's like literally like i love you they like literally fall just madly in love with one another so she was like you know we should kill my husband he's like i got someone hits up some dude on his burner say this on jail shit that's this burner phone that he's hiding yeah they're like texting and he's like cool i'll hit up my hitman hits up this guy will pay you said amount of money she's talking to him everything gives him aaron's location because she has like on her iphone where he's at he's out filming ghost adventures and
And then like she's keeping in contact. Oh, you're back at your hotel room. Are you alone? Yeah. So they send the hit man to go kill him alone at the hotel. And then all of a sudden hit man just goes blank and stops replying.
At that time... Was a cop. At that time, they bust into his cell and take his cell phone, but they don't immediately go through it, so they have no idea. You guys, I've always had issues with push-up bras. Either they didn't offer enough support, the straps dug in, or they just weren't comfortable enough to wear all day. Plus, I could never seem to find one that actually gave me the natural lift without feeling like I was being suffocated or spilling out. It was always a balancing act between comfort and support, and I never felt like I had both. That's...
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Shop the Skims Ultimate Bra Collection and more at Skims.com and Skim Stores. After you place your order, be sure to let them know I sent you. Select podcast in the survey and be sure to select my show, Dumb Blonde, in the drop down menu that follows. When they finally go through it is when they read this text chain and was like, oh my gosh, we have to go save him because they have this hitman.
out to get him. Meanwhile, she's posting on Instagram, like cuddling with him on the couch, like at Disneyland with my Valentine, like so in love. And even at one point she's like, the texts are wild. Like the real text messages. Like, I feel like maybe I feel bad. Maybe I should just divorce him. Nah, just kidding. Like we'll just kill him. What the fuck?
Can you believe that? Like, just leave him. Like, we've just brought something home that like fucking possessed her or something. What's wrong? I mean, I'm pretty sure his he got divorced.
because of his i don't i think he had a other wife that it was just like getting to be too much like he would bring things home from filming yeah everyone that knows him like and they were saying like he's the sweetest most gentle like i always send him to the end of the hall i know i feel bad for him but yeah everyone's like he's so sweet in this malicious ass bitch
That's I just can't the the mentality of like, maybe I should divorce him now. Now let's just fucking kill him. Like, how do you say those words without feeling like something? You're just a psychotic. Yeah. If you don't if you can just kill somebody because you want to be with somebody else. There's a how did you plan on being with someone who is in jail for life?
He's serving a life sentence. Like, you slaughtered three people. You slaughtered your family. Your mother, your father. How does she not think she could be next? Like, he's not going... These bitches, these prison wives are just crazy. Yes. I feel bad for women who...
Okay, here's the thing. If you were with a man for X amount of years and then he went to prison, I can understand holding him down. Being faithful. Yes. But if you just met this man while he's in prison and you're holding him down, like, I feel like something's wrong. Yes. Like, where is the detachment that you don't want to be with somebody who's available to you? Like Ash Ravino.
yeah the inmate hopper she calls herself that it's a weird thing to call yourself she's i haven't seen her lately she got deleted on like all someone just took her out and now she's selling little kits she's making that has a scrunchie um a lip gloss and a lollipop i wouldn't fucking suck on anything from her they're all from like sheen stuff where's she selling these at from her
I don't know. But the first 10 people that buy get a free cup. So all her socials are down? Mm-hmm. How do you know all this, Haley? She was on the beach in Hawaii watching updates. You are one of those people. Not all I have is Brie Olsen and 2K. Same. And that's just getting force fed to me. I feel so bad for...
The kids in that situation. Yeah, like so embarrassing and just gross. Do I need to get you one of that? No, just send them to me. Okay, gotcha. You got one for us? I feel like I just told my story. You guys can tell another one. All right, go ahead, Haley. You got one more? I'll do one. Uno mas two. Okay, this one's called High Voltage Passion. Amanda...
I love car sex. Right, yeah.
Well, he pulled off and parked by this huge canal that is known as the High Line, where we used to swim at when we were teens. They now have huge electrical towers going down the High Line dirt roads. So when we got out and started to wham, bam, thank you, ma'am, I kept getting shocked.
But it felt good at the same time. When we were done, he asked me if it felt like I was getting shocked and I told him yes. He said he was too and it felt amazing. When I went in to kiss him after we got shocked again and realized the electricity from those towers were flowing through the ground, going through our feet and into our bodies, causing us to shock each other while we were having sex.
It definitely was weird, but definitely felt really good in a memory. I was always, I will always remember. That's kind of hot. I mean, that's like a kink, right? Where they use like electrical stuff and everything like that. I mean, that's like rubbing your feet on the carpet and tapping someone. See, that doesn't feel good to me though. When I like talk to them, that doesn't. I wonder how it felt though. I wonder if it was like, I wonder if it was like, if it like vibrated almost.
like tingly yeah yeah mm-hmm yeah because they make like creams and stuff that make you tingly so like why i feel like that would essentially be the same yeah no that's definitely a good memory that was a good story yeah good story i like it yeah i like it a lot yeah i like it a lot i got one more what do you got i don't know what i got hold on i gotta look what you get i don't know what i got i don't know what i got give me a little something
Okay, I got one for you. This was in 2007-ish. I was at a house party, and this is from Casey. I was at a house party with a group of friends that would rent a place for the weekend and throw a party. Everyone was hanging out naked in the pool. When I was hanging out, I noticed a new face. He was the only one in the pool wearing a bathing suit. But I thought, oh, it's his first time. Maybe he's just shy or whatever.
I should have known there was another reason, but I didn't at the time. Fast forward, he came up to me and was so cute, and we were chatting, and he asked if I wanted to go into one of the bedrooms. This sounds like a fucking swingers party. I was tipsy and having fun, so sure, why not? We get in there, start kissing, took off our clothes, and he asked me to get on top, and that's when I noticed he only is about two inches when hard.
He never even got it in. Poor guy. Poor guy. Poor guy. Nothing worse than a micro penis.
Listen, man. Sometimes I'm glad I'm not a man because like you're just. I know. Is there something you can do about that? There is penis enlargement. Enlargement. Yeah, you can get it longer. Really? What do they do? I don't know how it works, though. They give you like an extension. There's shots that you can take. There's like a bunch of stuff. Pills at gas stations. Is there like an implant too or something? There's an implant that you can have. Yeah. That is wild. Yeah. Yeah.
I'd be a pumper. I think that's what you have to do when you get an implant. You have to pump it up. It's like a button that you have to pump it up in there. God. I just heard this story yesterday while Dustin was on the phone with Jason about this guy who tried to use a penis pump, but like he was already too big. He was like a corn cob, he said, and his nickname's corn cob because it was like coming out the other end. He couldn't even get it to like pump.
Yeah, I overheard that conversation. Where's he at? Momo needs him. Yeah, well, he's like 70. Oh, God. Why is corn cob swinging like that, dude? God, I can't stop. What is up with Jason and the people that he fucking knows and talks to? I'm starting to question Jason, okay? What in the fuck? I'm crying. And on that note, we're out of here. Papa's got the hog.
I gotta go. See you guys next week. Bye.