Ask, Tell, Confess: We Listen and We Don't Judge
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Ask, tell, confess. Ask, tell, confess. Ask, tell, confess. Are you farting on mommy's face? Okay, go ahead. Get down. Get down. On? I'm not. I don't like it. Get down. Guys, I'm never hanging with him ever again. I can't believe you said that to Paige. I ruined it.

I think he was joking to Paige. What did Paige say? Like, did she just be like, yeah? Or like, how do you? Okay, so it was when we were at my party and I was giving everyone a house tour and everyone was in my room and Ryan was on one corner of the bed and was on the other. They were both like straddling the corners of my bed. Fucking leans all the way down and like sniffs my bed.

And he comes back up and Paige is like, did you just sniff her bed? He's like, that's private. And I think he was joking about it. That's his humor, yeah. Yes. That's funny. Yes. I don't think he was being serious. Are we already recording? Oh, good. Okay. Good, good, good. Awesome. Good, good, good. Please don't. Hayley needs a dick.

No, I don't. Bailey does need dick. No, I don't. You need a man. You don't even need dick. You need a man. Wait, somebody needs to do the right introduction. Go ahead. Okay, ready? Let's do it. Okay. Are we holding hands? Yes. Why do you gotta hold hands? I don't know. How do you start? It's weird. It's weird. Hello, everyone. Welcome to another episode of Ask, Tell, Confess. Y'all are lacking in the shh department. I can't do it. I got beaver teeth. How do you do it? I mean, shh.

I can do that, but that's not the same. I can't do that because I have too much lip filler. How do you do it? Say, honey. It's like the guy from Family Guy. Yeah. We're just like, oh, popsicles down on the shower. We're just like, popsicles. That was my favorite dude. When I first saw him, I was like, okay, you little weirdo. I can do this voice too. That is me. Yep.

So anyways, back to Haley needing dick. Yeah, you know. She got the ick again because this dude fucking likes farts. Yeah. He told some girl that he likes to jack off to farts. Haley, what is it with you? You had a guy that jacked off to family guy. You like a guy that jacks off to farts. You had a guy that fucking left a skid mark Nutella butt. It's like. Is it Nutella butt?

Is it me? Am I the drama? You need a man. And you need a man not just for dick. You need like a man that will come put your baseboards on. Where are they? Because I haven't found one. I don't know. I'm right there with you with like wondering where they're at because this generation of men is crazy. They're not men. Yeah. They are...

I can do more handiwork than them. Yeah. No, for sure. Like me and Jason just had a conversation the other day about how I can't believe how many men don't have like tools. Oh yeah. I, I guess like I grew up with like such a handyman dad. My dad could do anything. He was like Superman. And then like I married a man who could literally do anything. I, I literally bought a chicken coop the other day and I was like, build it.

Yeah. I like thought to myself later, what if I had someone who couldn't build that? Bro, I've only dated men who can't build that. I have only dated men who do not need a blue collar. They don't know how to change a tie. Every man I've ever dated does not know how to change a tire, does not know how to fucking do it. I'm going to start hanging out at the blue collar bars. We need you a man. You need a man. Yeah.

Not just as a man. A man. Man. Yeah. A little man witch. Man.

That's what you need. That's what you need. Someone who has like tools in a truck. Yeah. A little sloppy joe booty. Okay. No. We're getting away from that. We really ripped it there, didn't you? I had to. I had to. I had to overcook it. My husband says I overcook everything. Yeah. So yeah, Haley, I think it's time for you to just find a man. Anyways, who's going to start this off? Enough harping on Haley. Me. I got dibs. Okay. God.

You know it's buttholes or poop or hairy buttholes or something. I actually have a butthole one too. If it's the waxing one, I'm going to kill you. This is actually even worse. Okay. This one, and I'm not going to judge here because I was not there. I don't know your situation, but I am going to share your story since you confessed it. Really quick, does anybody want to go to Justin Timberlake tonight? We have really good tickets. It's like a VIP experience. Yeah. You want to take Liv? She doesn't know who Justin Timberlake is. Do you want to go with me?

She doesn't want to go. I can read it on her face. I'll go. Will you go to Justin Timberlake with me? I'll go to Justin Timberlake with you. Okay. Stop. Okay. Are we meeting him? Yes. Yeah, we'll go. Hold on. I got to wash my hair. All right. Text Ron. And then, okay, go ahead with your story. Cry me a river. Cry me a river. Do you want to go? You are my sun. You are my earth. Brooke will disown me if I go, so probably not. You didn't know all the ways I loved you. Took a chance. You made

Don't get me started on Dozen Timberlake. This is the most unhinged fucking I'll confess. Sorry, guys. We got a show to do here, guys. Sorry. All right.

Again, not judging you. I'm just going to read yours. We listen and we don't judge. We listen and we don't judge. Have you guys heard of LAL? LAL is laser-assisted lipo, and the results from LAL are incredible. I've been looking at before and afters from Sona Bello, and these women look incredible.

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I'm a nurse and was doing home health 10 years ago. I had a patient that was terminal and in a vegetation state and had been for a couple years. Her husband was her sole caregiver and never left her side. I was going through a divorce and I began having an affair with my patient's husband. It just kind of happened. I am still with him today.

But we have never told his family about me. The kids live far away and not very close with other family members, but still.

She has now been gone for six years, and I am tired of keeping this a secret. We did what we did. I do feel guilty, but I also feel like we were both hurting and found comfort in one another, and this is why we are still together today. I love him more than I can even explain. My kids refer to him as their dad. They don't know how long we've been together. We only became public to them and my family a year after she passed."

We don't have to tell anyone when or how our relationship started, but I am tired of keeping it a secret. It is what it is. And if he was, I embarrassed me. I think we would have just ended things. Thoughts? Well, one, thank you for trusting us with that confession. That was honestly a beautiful way that you put it. At first, I was kind of like, and then I thought about it and I was like, well, she was in a vegetative state for years already. So that means that she was like just fine.

They were pretty much essentially waiting for her to pass away. Yes. And that's a stressful situation. And, you know, like I get it, you know, till death do us part. But at the same time, it's like.

You're going through a divorce. He's dealing with something tragic. So, of course, that brought you guys together. But the fact that you guys are still together speaks volumes. So maybe it was those two tragic incidences that needed to bring you guys together. And the wife could have also, like... Made it happen. Yeah. Like, that almost happened in a way that, like, had the wife not been in that vegetation state, you would have never been there and met him. So, like...

Everything happens for a reason. It does. Yeah. It does. We could only hope that she approved of the situation or she would have approved of the situation, but yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

For sure. Thank you for trusting us. Yeah, thank you for trusting us. And I don't have an opinion on it at all. I think that love is love and sometimes you can't help who you fall in love with. And if you're more comfortable keeping it a secret, then no one needs to know. I just want to know how their fucking family isn't nosy. Because if I was a kid, I'd been like, so when did you guys start talking? And if they didn't give me a real answer, I would be like, man.

No, I don't believe this. You're like, I knew. Yeah, like I don't believe this at all. But I love that they're still together and they've been together for fucking six years. And your kids have dad now. And you're right. Maybe the wife brought energetically brought this woman into her husband's life to soften the blow of her dying. Yeah. Someone that could care, you know.

for him maybe she was like a soul caring person or the person they hump in the same room as the wife probably no okay no no no I didn't as long as it's respectful yeah as long as it's true I didn't uh

kind of referring back to like the manly man stuff and like this caretaking thing i befriended the old man behind us i know and he told me like the saddest thing i literally teared up as he told me he goes you know my whole life i've just provided like working was my thing and my wife did laundry cooked everything like that well she got dementia later on in her years and he goes i didn't know how to do anything he goes i don't know how to cook he goes you don't have

don't realize you don't know how to do these things until you're presented with the fact that she can no longer do them so he's like i would just stare at the washing machine being like how do i even work this thing or he goes i still don't know how to cook he goes i can work a mean microwave so we made him dinner and took it to him the other day but it you know i know i want some of that freaking casserole yeah it was great the spaghetti bake oh my god it is my favorite yeah i mean that wife could have always cared for him and knew that he needed someone to care for him again and she was a nurse and yeah

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oh that's why i moved next to him me and him are best friends now he's not like invisible string theory yes he called me later and was like like literally an hour after and was like that was so good thank you so much and like yeah so i'm telling you guys laundry next time put some thc in it let him get real loose

Wow. Okay. He gave us a tour of his home, guys, and we literally got to look at his great-great-great-grandfather's daily journal from 1820. That's amazing. I want to go. I love that. All right, Haley, you're next. I got one. It's also about a nurse. Oh, goodness. This is from a guy in the DMs. He said, my wife is a nurse. Sometimes she comes home with that thousand-yard stare, so I know she had a rough shift.

I asked how she was and she told me they removed a small toolbox from a guy's butt that day. I said, I understand. And I made her a screwdriver double. We didn't talk about it any further. I didn't understand that. A small removed a small toolbox from a guy's butt. Okay. A toolbox. Yes. Past hobby of mine was to look up x-rays of people.

Oh, I love that. And having things stuck in their butts. You would be surprised. I've seen light bulbs. I saw a squirrel.

A live one? I don't know if they're live, but I have literally seen multiple gerbils and squirrels. So there was a rumor a long time ago about Richard Gere and that he had a gerbil stuck up his ass that was in a condom. And they say that... I don't know if this is true or not, but they say that some men will take gerbils and put them up their butt because they try to claw their way out of the condom. So it like...

gives that action yeah i saw a lot of x-rays with those yeah i don't know if that's true though if anybody can confirm that that's true let me know gear as in pretty woman yeah i hope not he's never been married right what has richard gear ever been married

- Give it a go. - What the fuck? - Give it a good, pull it up. - Pull it up Jaime. - Oh what the fuck, what the fuck? That's disgusting. - We're looking up TikToks or Safari? - Just on Google. - Just give it a good. - Yeah, pull it up. Just because, I don't know if he's never been married, maybe he just keeps his-- - He likes gerbils in his butt. - I don't know. I don't know if it's true though. And I never want to spread a rumor like that about somebody, but I know that was a huge rumor. - No, let's look up if he's ever been married.

animal and get an ass no richard gear if he's ever been married oh sorry did richard gear shove a gerbil up his butt told you richard gear in the gerbil i told you removed from his rectum i told you it's a real thing yeah three of them oh he's been married three times he married cindy crawford what 91 to 95 that's a short marriage i never knew they were married still married right now

Yeah. Damn. He got to bang Cindy Crawford. Go fucking Richard. Wow. Okay. Let's go back to the gerbil because there were articles on it. Yeah. No, it's a, it's been a thing. Yep. Oh, that was, Oh, look at him. Look at him. The little gerbil. Look at him. False. Oh, this is false. I mean, are we sure? How do we know? He could have paid stuff in there. I knew someone who got a perfume bottle stuck in her vagina.

She was trying to finish and it was the first thing next to her because her husband didn't finish. What was it? I knew someone that got a perfume bottle stuck inside of her because she like, it was the first thing she grabbed. What about that feels good? She said it was the first thing she grabbed next to her to try to finish. Yeah, but what about that feels good? No, I don't get it. And how do you finish? How does it get lost? How do you finish like this? You finish on your clit. You don't finish on the inside. And it...

Yes, you can have an orgasm from the inside, but yeah, you can. It is really good, too. When you orgasm from the inside, you'll fucking squirt everywhere. It's crazy. But the majority of the time, women can only orgasm from the clit, you know? I don't know. That's crazy to me that she would stick a perfume bottle. Nothing glass feels good. It probably wasn't glass. I feel like it would burn. She gives me the very, like, you know,

Bath and Body Works perfume type. How would you shut? That wouldn't fit in my hole. That's the size of this mic. Yeah, no, really. That's about a perfume bottle. That's crazy. Yeah. I wouldn't put that in there. I still don't know how they got a fucking toolbox up there.

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Build smarter digital relationships with your customers and make every moment count with Klaviyo. Learn more at klaviyo.com. Funny, Rebecca's asking. My question is, when you were stripping, did couples come to see you? We just started going to strip clubs together as a couple. So far, we have sat quiet in the corner, but very curious about private dances and if other couples have done or doing these things together.

Absolutely. My favorite thing when I was a working girl and not just a stripper was, hey, clankety clank. Come here. Is he going to try to go under? Get up here. Come on. I'm not picking you up, dude. The fucking drama. What is happening with this dog today? Jason, cut that out, please. Anyways. Oh, I wish you could leave it in.

It's so traumatic. I mean, we can. Please leave that in there. Just do the awkward silence of all of us just watching. I'm sorry. This is the most unhinged Ask, Tell, Confess. But anyways, yes. So strippers and working girls love when women are involved.

If they're not jealous, I have had a couple of girls who are really jealous and made it uncomfortable. Why would you be there if you're that jealous? A lot of girls do it to make their men happy and just think that they could handle it. And then when they see it, they just fucking see red. But there's a lot of women who are so cool. I used to have a really big sugar daddy in Vegas. He was a construction lawyer and he used to give me so much money and it was for him and his wife.

And I would go see them at their house. Yeah. And we would just go to their house. We were just, well, this is when I was like that. Yeah. We would just party and it would be fun, man. We had a blast. I love when women, cause you know, women make it a lot more fun and easier to deal with men. Sometimes men are just men, you know? But when you have that feminine, that, that ally, that feminine energy, it's like, she's like, girl, it's almost like you guys are teaming up. Literally. That's exactly what it is. And he has no say so.

I forgot the gerbil was still on the screen. The gerbil was just on the screen. All right, we're getting out of here. I love you guys. Toodaloo. Bye-bye.