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What's up, you sexy motherfuckers? Welcome to another episode of Dumb Vlog.
I got my white trash sisters up in this bitch again. Chelsea Lynn, Paige Jen, how you doing? And we got the other sisters too. Yep, Maggie and Beth. Maggie and Beth. I'm so happy to have you back. Thanks for having us. Dude, last time you came, you literally rolled up to my podcast by yourself, was just like, what's up, came, and was just like the coolest thing ever. And had a blast. Dude, you are just, you're the light of my life. I love you.
you i love you i love you back i'm so happy we're all can i say we're all obsessed with you by the way oh my god we were talking about it on the way here we're like we love bunny you're just a badass bitch dude that's how i feel about you guys i feel like i know yeah just from watching your stories i'm like i don't really watch people's stories but i watch hers oh i love you guys that's how i feel about you guys i feel like we're like just sisters from other misters like literally kindred souls yeah josh is digging it i know
Joshie's digging his butthole. Joshie's over here fucking shaking his ass for everybody. Oh my gosh. I've never seen a dog do that. Dude, he gets super excited. Whenever he gets really excited, this is the shit that he does. Oh my gosh. It's just an all day thing. Probably feels good. So what are you guys doing out here in Nashville? Well, I've got some standup shows. Yes. You were talking about that last time you came on, you hadn't started doing it.
No. Yeah. How is that going? So this is, so this will be the second time I ever do stand up ever, which is terrifying. Dude, it's gotta be right. Like you walk in, the room is just full of people staring at you and you have to be funny. It's awful, but it's the best thing in the world. It's weird to, to, you know, explain like it's the day, like I'm already nervous for it. And it's tomorrow in the morning. I'll feel like I have to puke all day long. My butthole's puckering for you. Yeah.
like but the second I get on stage it's like oh like it's so easy it's just natural yeah yeah have you ever had a joke that just flopped and you're just like staring at everybody like look at my tits you know like just trying to cover up the fact that nope she said no no and I know and I know it's gonna happen one day because everybody bombs everybody yeah but I've only done one round of shows in Dallas and that was last I don't know when was that like like last
Yeah, so it was about a year ago. So I haven't done it in a year. And that was my first stand-up show ever. Yeah. And you hear about, you know, comics bombing and stuff. I never have. I think it's just because it's just natural for you. Thank you. Yeah. It's going to happen one day. I just, I feel it. I don't think so. But no, I nail it every time. She's like, you know, not to toot my own horn, but toot, toot. Yeah. I feel like you don't even get that nervous. Like right now, even, I'd be fine.
Yeah. I'm, you know, tomorrow will be a different story. Paige, do you do stand up too? No. The pressure. I'd be up there like, oh shit. I would, I'd be the person to be like, you want to see my pubes?
she was like but no i do want to say immediately go to the gross shit just to freak everybody out she does songs and she writes like comedy songs and they're oh my god she doesn't like release a whole lot of them and i keep telling her like once you perfect them you need to release them and then come be on the road with me dude please do that she needs to we we just got into the studio and i i dropped that christmas song and i was like i want to be the weirdo yankovic of hot chicks yeah that's what i'm
I love that, dude. Oh my God. Just like switch around songs and just like, I love that and not take it serious. You can't take yourself serious. Yeah. I love that. Do you, can you sing a song off the top of your head? You got one for us? Which one? Um, the sisters know it's so good. I just saw this little filter, you know, the guy or not the guy, but the glasses that just, yeah. The mustache. Oh yeah. Yeah. Control. I was just on that one day. And then I started doing like,
like ask Dave a question. And then it just became a thing. People love it. So then I made a song and I was like, fuck, I don't even know the lyrics. I just wrote it in like 10 minutes and I'm just like, it's Dave on the drip. Is it gay if a man sucks my dick? Roses are red, violets are blue. I hate rhyming words.
It's good. I love it. It's like dumb shit like that. Yeah. I love it. But we're going to do like some real, like I want to do like some country, like country twang, but funny. Make it pervy. Yeah. So the song Dick Down in Dallas, you guys had Trey Lewis on last night. I did Vagina in Vegas, but we recorded it and I sound like a fucking owl, a screeching in the woods. I was like, we cannot fucking release this, but dude. Because you did it as country. I did it as country and it just wasn't, you know, my thing's more like Marilyn
Monroe and I just the key that Trey sung it in I was just like you know what maybe we'll just save this for another day I'll have to give you the lyrics though because maybe you could do that would be it's like cream cream pies and Compton like it's just a whole bunch of shit that is good I know you guys gotta hear it good so back to your stand-up you have a couple shows out here and then you guys are like on a tour bus and you guys are like really doing the thug fizzle well we got the hookup we're doing it we have a
we have a friend that it's okay but you still got the bus and you're still doing the tour is what I'm saying though like that's crazy so we're supposed to we have like 70 shows booked between now and May and we haven't even released tickets because it's like who knows what's gonna happen we're taking it week by week and you know here you know but uh
God, I'm ready to go. Just roll. Yeah. Like, we've been... I feel like we've been literally, like, caged animals for the past fucking year. So I told Jay that, too. I was like, dude, as soon as it opens up, I don't even care. I'm going to make my own podcast tour. Like, literally, I'm just going to go, dude. That would be awesome. Just a fucking tour. Yep. Yeah. So the thing with you and Theo you guys did last night. Yeah. Talk to me about those. So...
Theo Vaughn, who I'm obsessed with. I don't know if you know who he is. Jay was just on The King and the Sting. Oh, I didn't know who he was until he went on The King and the Sting. He's a good time. He's my favorite stand up comedian. Is he? I mean, if you've never seen Theo Vaughn, you've got to go. I got to check it out. Oh, my gosh. So he I was on his podcast a few months ago and about died.
Yeah. Because I was, you know, such a big fan. And then he literally called me up like a month ago. I was like, hey, do you want to do that? I have this idea for this live show, like this live streaming show. Would you want to be? I was dead that he even asked me. Yeah. And we've been working really hard for, you know, a solid month to just put on a, he
We wanted it like a variety show, kind of like Hee Haw. Yes. Yes. Love that. Yep. So that's kind of what we did. I'm going to watch it tonight. I didn't have a chance to catch it last night. Okay. But we're going to watch it tonight as a family. They're going to add a little bit of edits. We're going to edit it because behind the scenes, it was mayhem. Oh, I bet. Because we had never, you know what I mean? Any time a fucking live show, dude, that's hard. It was...
Very hard. Yeah. But I still think it went well. Yeah. You know, so, yeah. It was fun. So, is this the only, or is Theo traveling with you guys too? Or was that just like a one-off? Yeah, that was, we're going to try to see about doing something like that, you know, quarterly or something. Or every few months or something. I love that. We'll have to check Theo out too. So, you're just like really getting out there and just putting yourself out there and.
Yeah. Meeting all your fans. Like, how does that feel? Crazy. It's insane, right? It's crazy. I bet. You have just the coolest fans, though. Yeah. How many titties do we see a night? Oh, at the shows? Yeah. Yeah. Signing asses. Signing asses. I love it. Oh, it's so great. I love it. You need to sign a butthole for me. Yes. The hole. The hole. Yes. I'll sign it. That's what I want. It's bound to happen. No, please. I'm so obsessed with buttholes.
I'd like to do it. You got to do it. I'm going to give you one of my butthole coasters. Oh, my God, please. That is right up my fucking alley. I have some out in the car in my backpack. Oh, dude, please. I'll fucking cherish it for the rest of my life. Paige has probably the best butthole I've ever seen in my life. Yeah. Oh, well, it is. I mean, I don't want. Hold on. No, don't put this out there because now she's going to have to show us. No, it's like really good. It's like she said, oh, you'll see it really good.
Is it just like pink or brown? What is it? Pink little. I mean, I'm like, how do you have such a great butthole? And it has a little like Marilyn Monroe freckle. Oh my God. I have a freckle on my hole. I got a mole in the hole too. That's what I call it. Yeah. It's like a signature, you know, like people know that's your anus. I love that. When can we see this butthole? Whenever we do the game later. Well, she started, somebody DM'd her and was like, Hey, um, I'd like to,
buy butthole coasters for my wife randomly. Like a gag gift because the wife is having a baby. Right. Well,
what a great gift a push present yeah well how long ago was that four or five months ago yeah and people still do she makes butthole coasters 24-7 that's her full-time job now so you just take a picture and just put it on the butthole coaster well i text chelsea and i'm like hey like this guy wants this gift and like i actually want to do it how do i make this happen and she's like i don't fucking know and she like puts it on her story put it on my story hundreds of people are like i want one too i want
Dude. All right. So she's in there like pouring resin and glitter. Listen, we both became rich off of our buttholes, but in two different ways. Yes. Yes. Yes. That's fucking awesome. But I did see that you had an OnlyFans. Chelsea, when are you going to start your OnlyFans? I'm hoping to launch it in February. Dude, I'm ready. But it scares me because...
you know, they're cracking down on pages, promoting. Oh, anything. I mean, you even mentioned the world word only fan. I had to take my link out of my bio. Yeah. So I can get shivering balls to it. Uh, you create a backup account and you send everybody to your backup account and then you have the link and buy some free game for all your only fans hose. Then you have the link in bio and your backup account. So if that backup account gets taken, at least you have your main, your main, that's a good idea. Okay.
So I'm excited. I've got good, I've got some good ideas for it. It's going to be kind of different. I'm going to actually like produce episodes of trailer trash. Cause I have so many ideas that I haven't been able to even do the past two or three years. Right. Because censorship censorship, YouTube is getting crazy with censorship too. I had a lot of people get upset with me because I had to move platforms from YouTube to Patreon, but they're not understanding that it's really getting so bad. People are like, why don't you post this anymore? I'm like,
Because they threatened to take down my whole account. I mean, it's like, it's bad. No, it's getting insane. So I've had so many ideas that I've wanted to do that I thought I could never put this on Facebook. I could never put this on YouTube. So I'm actually going to like hire production and a professional like, you know, like an episode and we're going to put out some good stuff. I'm excited. She's getting invested.
I've been telling her since last year. I know. I'm like, get your ass on OnlyFans. I'll help you with whatever you need. Just do it. We all have. It's crazy. You have to. Yeah. I'm going to. What's on your OnlyFans page? Because I was lurking it today. I was like, do I subscribe or not? Oh, yeah. I didn't want to be a weirdo, though. Just my pubes.
Because me and my sister are like, hey, we're just so competitive and we're always trying to just like have little competitions. And we're like, okay, next competition. Whoever shaves their pubes first is a pussy. So we're like, there's like not even a price. That was like me and Monica. We had to grow our pubes out to get waxed last month. And dude, my bush, first of all, hair on a bush just makes it look mangy.
Yes. I don't care what anybody says. Yeah. I'd never seen my, my muff looked huge. Feel dirty to me it does. It looked bigger. Like it's so cute and pretty when it's shaved. And then when it, it was just like an Ewok. Yeah. It was like so crazy. It's just laying there, you know, like sashimi. You know? Like on top of some rice. Yes. So, yeah. But I don't know. I got used to it. At first I was just itching it. Well, I still play with it a lot. Like, you know, troll it. But.
Her hands are constantly down her pants. For the first couple weeks, bitchy. Same with my husband. If you watch him while we're eating dinner, he'll probably scratch his balls and sniff his fingers while he's hanging out with you. Does he make you smell his fingers? All the time. I'm just like, babe, what are we doing here? Is this what I got married for? To smell you? But, like, so...
I get stuff taken down like on Snapchat. Oh, they deleted my Snapchat. And I didn't even do anything wrong. Like a Snapchat premium? No, I wasn't cool enough for the premiums. But I was promoting my OnlyFans on my Snapchat. Clothes, pictures, and videos. And they fucking deleted it. Did they take it down for like 30 days? Oh no, they disabled it and would never give it back.
Yeah. So, you know, I'm just going to post like content. Have you had any of your accounts taken? My Snapchat got taken away, but I got it back. Oh, well, because you're fucking Tammy. They're like, we're not taking her down Snapchat. We'll have the fucking whole world after us. So on your OnlyFans, you're going to just be posting stuff that you just can't post anywhere else. Yeah, pretty much.
just like us doing dumb shit and you know like I'll slap I'll pull up my titty and just like slap somebody in the face I can never post it on Instagram you know so stuff like that just us doing stupid stuff vlogs yeah I hope it's gonna be good anything you're like uh should I
post this on instagram or will i be taken down it's just that's every day of my life literally yeah i don't even post on my main page anymore barely like pictures because like you can't anything that's even considered sexual they'll take off your profile well i feel like all the other accounts are afraid of only fans just blowing up because creators can make money and post whatever the hell they want so i feel like instagram snapchat they're like oh no i said the same thing i said i bet you only fans wouldn't make a deal with instagram
And that's why Instagram's coming against them so hard because Instagram was probably like, we want a percentage and OnlyFans was like, go fuck yourself. So, cause they're literally taking everybody else's money. I think in two years, OnlyFans will be the number one platform.
Oh, yeah. Well, OnlyFans was originally made for musicians. Yeah, I knew that. Yeah, to be able to go there and interact one-on-one with their fans. And then sex workers took over and were like, hey, we're going to monetize off of this. Look at our vaginas. Yeah, exactly. Well, I had, a couple months ago, I actually had meetings with people from OnlyFans. And that's what they told me. They were like, you know, we were really wanting comedians and athletes.
Yes. To break the, because you know, you say OnlyFans and people automatically only think one thing, you know? And like, we want a bunch of different people, you know? There's a lot of people on OnlyFans that don't post in, you know? Yeah, totally. So. There's people on there that cook. Yes. There's people on there that like fucking make candles. There's people on there that do weird shit with earwax. And why can't, you know, we should be able to post the links. Yeah.
exactly regardless of which but you know what I mean so yeah they actually came to me and wanted me to take the podcast over there and I was just like I don't know yeah it's that's a hard decision to only fans and I was like I might get mixed up with my butthole because my butthole's on there you know so I was just like yeah might all become one
All right, guys, we are back. And I got to ask the question again. What's up with Greg's skullet? Okay. First of all, let's see. Let's see it. Let's see. Turn around, baby. Turn around. Show full back. Look at that. Tilt your head. There you go. Shine, baby. There you go. So the skullet was my idea. Okay.
I thought it would be majestic. And it, yeah, yeah. It's original too. And it's just gotten a little too gross for me. No, I know exactly what you're talking about, dude. I did that with Jay and his beard. I was like, grow it out. It'll be sexy. And now he's like fucking Bushwick Bill. And I'm just like, yeah, you're so unkempt. What is going on? She said the same thing to me. Yeah.
- Yeah. - So unkempt. - But now he doesn't take care of it. It'd be different if he took care of it and you know, but ugh. - He doesn't take care of it. - No. - And then he like wakes up and it's all crazy. And he's like, Paige, can you braid it? And I'm like. - It looks like I have angel wings in the morning. You know, it's like this. - That's a fly wing. - So are you attached to the skullet? - That's what I was about to say.
I want him to get rid of it. He's attached to it. So how long do we need? I kind of like it. Okay, I'll make a deal. Once it gets down to past my shoulders, I'll cut it.
We've talked about, we've talked about, Oh, I love rat tails. And they're damn near extinct. Yes. And we're bringing it back. What we got Jay growing over there is his little rat tail. I want Greg to be completely bald and just have a little, just a little tail and have it be so long. Do it. Cause I have not seen one in real life in about eight years. No. That old Bangladesh hairdo. Yeah.
can you grow bangs baby oh well they're more like a little sporadic hairs yeah just say no just that little that little cry baby curl yeah give him a little cry baby girl yes so in other words we can say that you regret having him grow out the skullet or no no because did it have a good run it had a good run and we're going to get a good rat tail out of it yeah so i'm happy with that i agree i can because we don't see enough rat tails anymore i think
I feel like your followers are attached to the school. Yes, they are. Yeah, when you guys shave that mofo off, dude, oh my God, you guys have to like make it a whole thing so that people... You gotta put a sell it to Locks of Love or not sell it, but donate it. Or what little kid would want this fucking hair? Listen, there's people out there that might eat it. Okay, like there's a fucking fetish for everybody. Oh my gosh. You never fucking know what's going on. Maybe it's somebody, some lady's beaver pelt, you know? Lord. Overdoing it. Overdoing it. You never can do it.
So what's it like traveling with all of you guys? It's got to be fucking hilarious. Dude. Oh, it's like this times 10. It's fun. Who smells the worst? Sometimes her vagina. Well, I fart the most. Do you? Why do we not have Chelsea farting the stuff out of her butt? Yeah, I fart the most out of everybody. She farts the most, I shit the most. Yeah. Oh, my husband. That's got to be a guy thing because I can never shit and he shits at least three times a day. I'm like, it's crazy. Yeah. Right there.
Chelsea's like, no, I don't have that problem. But no, it's fun. I like having the whole, you know, the whole group. It's fine. It's like the Parchers family. Just everybody's on a roll. We're all pretty stinky and we let each other know. Like, smell my armpits. Your pussy stinks. Go take a shower. Has anybody shit on the tour bus yet? No, they told us not to. Yeah, it's like the golden rule, but there's always somebody who fucking forgets that rule and goes and shits in the fucking... Yeah, I've thought about it, but they said the toilet can't handle it.
Well, do you know how many times when Jay and I first got together, we would be on a tour bus and he would come out of the bathroom carrying a bag of shit. I was like, we got close real fast, dude. It was crazy. Yeah. You have to get it out of the toilet. You have to shit in the bag. How? Ask him. He's a fucking master at that. I can show you how to do it. Do you want this on your podcast? Yes, please. Yes, please. All right. We can do it. We'll make it happen.
Oh, I thought it was going to give us a play-by-play. I know, I was too. Show us. Show us how it's done. Theoretically speaking, if you had to shit on a tour bus, how would you do it, babe? Open it up. And just shit in it. I'd get shit everywhere. Yeah, hopefully you don't have the splatter shit. I would be so happy if I had splatter shits. Mine are like little rock turds. It's the worst. Mine are so long. They're like a 12-inch sub. That's got to be so relieving. Mine are splatter. They're so tapered.
I feel like I'm a dog butthole. Hold on. I just said I splatter and Bunny goes, oh, I'm so jealous. I am. I have to rock back and forth just to get a turd out. It's a whole fucking... You need fruit. I call it wrassling that turd. No, I eat very healthy and everything, but I think it's from...
Yes, I have a lot of fiber. Rasslin' that turd. No, merch shirt. No, I swear to God. Swear to God. That's so funny. No, but I think it's from just years of taking diet pills when I was younger. I fucked my whole system up, so my shit is just very dry and spiky. That sucks because there's nothing like just a good shit. Dude, it's so relieving. When I do have them, I'm just like, I rejoice for like weeks on end because they're just so far and few between. Yeah. It's crazy. There's something to be said about them that release, right? Oh, yeah, for sure. Release. Yeah.
Don't ever say that again. Yeah, that's true. We're not in a massage parlor. Speaking of massages...
What is up with the crackhead that I saw on your story? So I actually added this story to my standup. Oh, you did. Okay. Yeah. So we can't give away too much. No, it's a little different. I mean, but I was telling them, I know that when I go up and tell this story, it's going to sound made up. When you told it on your story, Jay and I were laying in bed. I was laughing my fucking ass off. I was like, this is so fucking funny. Insane. So what happened was...
I called a, I don't even know where I found her. You know about people who come to your house. Did you call her off Backpage? No, it was a legit app. Okay, because when you were describing it, I was like, she ordered a hooker off Backpage. And she's using massage as the code word. She could have in another life been a...
So this lady shows up. Well, her profile picture looks great. She looks, you know, beautiful. Says 30 years experience. Like gets there. She did the old catfish. Ye old catfish. I mean, she was, she was a crackhead and she was, she could barely stand up. She could barely speak. And I'm literally like, do I tell her to go home? Well, her car had broke down. So she had been dropped off at our house. I'm like, oh, well now I'm, you know, she's, I gotta get. I'm done for. Yeah. Yeah.
So she starts giving me a massage and it's actually pretty good. I'm like, okay, you know, the bitch passes out on me and is still massaging. No, I,
I'm so OCD. I would have probably fucking freaked out. Twice. No. I would have sat there quiet like, oh shit. How did you handle it so graciously? Dude, I was in such shock. I was like, do I push her off? Do I wake her up? Like, you know what I mean? So finally I was like, ma'am, are you okay? And she's laying on my head. Yeah. It's, and it sounds, and I was like,
No. And I was like, were you there? He was in the next room. Let her finish the story. Cause I got to tell you what happened to me. Yeah. And I just said, ma'am, are you okay? And she goes, yeah, why? While she's laying on me.
is she drooling at this point what does she have color in her face like she's wearing a mask oh okay good well that's at least she got that right and uh i said because you're you passed out on me and she goes oh i just got these clothes and the strap keeps coming off oh something a crackhead would say code word code word yeah about i'm about to get
Yeah. No, this, it was just the weirdest dude, the weirdest thing. So was she on drugs? Obviously. I'm sure. Okay. Yeah. And I wasn't like, she wasn't like a narcoleptic massage. No, no, no, no. She was some sweet old grandma who was just, you know, yep. Working. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't want to tell too much cause I do. I do go into it and stand up. Yeah. I'll tell you after, but this, it was, it was just the crazy experience. And then she left and I literally was like,
why does this shit happen to me? And then I was like, literally, I think it happens for standup material. Oh, absolutely, dude. That's fucking gold. I think I might've even messaged you and been like, this is gold. Like totally, dude. What happened to you after? He was supposed to get a massage after me. Is he allowed to talk about this? Yeah. Okay. So the whole idea was that she was going to get her massage first. She got it done. And then she comes in there and tells the story. And I'm like, I'm like, Greg, you might want to. How did you not call?
I know. She came in there and then my eyes just get big and I'm like, what are you talking about? And so she's like, she's ready for you. So I walk in there and I don't have a mask. I don't have a mask on. And I'm like, okay, yeah, you want me to lay down face first or on my back, you know? And she goes, face up.
So then I look at her, and I was like, well, let me go get my mask. I don't have a mask. Do you want me to get a mask? So I look at her, and her mask is down below her nose, and she's got a snot bubble hanging out. Huge, long snot bubble. And I said, if I'm laying on my back, and this snot bubble drizzles across my fucking face, there's going to be problems. So Greg. So I couldn't do it. And I said, hey, look, you got a little dribble. You know, I told her. Hey, you got a little dribble. She goes like that.
Pulls her mask up. Okay. And touches you. No. I head out the door. Greg comes back. I said, Maggie, Chelsea, I can't do this. He walks in. There ain't no way. She's leaking. She's got dribble. She's got dribble. She's leaking. Dribble. She's so.
He comes back in and he was like, I can't do it. I can't do it. And I go, what do you want me to tell her? He goes, tell her how to go back to work. Go tell her. I already knew what she needed to go tell her. I couldn't be mean to her. I felt horrible. Because I felt horrible for her. And I'm like, I can't be mean to this woman, you know, after Chelsea just told me all that's going down. Just tell her how to go back to work. So I did. So she did. I went back in there and I'm like, I'm so sorry. He's not going to get his massage, but I'll still pay you. You know, I want to pay her for her time. She's like, no, that's okay. She was very nice. Yeah. Okay.
And then I was like, get the fuck out. That's just insane. So we'll have to tune in to Chelsea's. Yes, come see the show. Come see the show so that you guys can finish the rest of that. It gets a little weirder than what I said. A little more detailed. Yeah. Well, if you want to go hang out with Jay, you can. You don't have to sit here, but you're more than welcome to stay in here too. I just want you to know. I'll stay in line. Okay, all right, cool. Fairly would. I'll be hanging.
So I wanted to talk about how you guys met because I feel like we got to witness this from the beginning and I think it's been like the sweetest relationship ever. Thank you. Should we, can we say? I don't,
I'm trying to think of how we can say how we met. Yeah, we technically legally can't say. Are you serious? Well, when we tell you, you'll be like, okay. Gotcha. So let's just say that. Not AA or anything, but like for a future project. Gotcha. We met at a meeting and I walked in and she was in a lobby with Brett, her boyfriend. Brett's here, by the way. Yeah. He's somewhere. We got him in a hole. He's in a hole right now. He's in a black hole.
And literally within a minute, we were like literally best friends. Soulmates. We were bonded. And in the meeting, they're like, so you guys are just like childhood best friends? And we're like, we met fucking two minutes ago in the lobby. But that's how like soulmate relationships, because you can have friends that are soulmates too. That's how soulmate relationships work. That's how Jay and I were. As soon as I walked in, I was just like, dude, you are not my type, but what's up? Like, I feel like my soul recognizes you. Yeah. It was crazy. From then on, yeah.
Inseparable. Yeah. But people were literally like, what do you mean? Like you just met. We're like, we just met in the lobby. That's when we're like 10 minutes ago. So after you. Yeah. Right. So after that meeting, you guys just started collabing together and it was fucking internet gold after that. Yeah. No, for sure. You guys, everything you guys do is funny. Thank you. Like you falling. How do you do that? So amazing. Just did you fall as a child? Like that's okay. So I'm the youngest of eight.
So, like, ways to just, like, embarrass my family and sisters, I would be, like, pulling my pants, having my pants fall down to my knees and just, like, fake falling in stores, having my ass shoot up to the air. And they would all take off running and just be like, oh, my gosh. Dude. So it just, like, kind of started like that. And then when Vine came out, I'm like, I'm going to do fake falls and get reactions. So it's just weird. Have you ever hurt yourself, like, fake falling? Mm.
I would bust a tooth. I'm not that fucking graceful. I would bust a tooth. My nose would break. Like something would fucking happen. Yeah. I have a way to do it, but I did jump into a bush one time and got a little sliver. A little something. Oh, no, I think I've seen it. Was it a video that you posted one time and you got like a branch in your arm or something like that? Yeah. Yeah. I was like, when you see your ex-boyfriend in public and I ran and jumped in a bush and
And when I landed on, I'm like, I swear I just broke my arm. Dude. But then the pain like went away. I pushed myself up. I was all on my phone. Savage. Looked down and a freaking branch. Oh, inside her. Oh, it was. Yeah. Did you get stitches for that? Yeah. Was that a whole thing? Yeah. Fuck. My friends. I'm like, don't call an ambulance. And then.
like two seconds later yeah well y'all will have to see the picture you don't want to lose your fucking arm you know doing skits like that because you need your arm to land whatever you fall on my neck i know oh stop i would have been a goner oh god yeah literally that would have been literally it was that bad who comes up with the skit ideas that you guys do is it like a mutual thing like the like the big gulp pranks and stuff like that yeah just all of it mutual yeah because we know like what i do and what she does and then it just we can collaborate
and it just vibes yeah no yeah well we haven't been able to do anything really since the pandemic because even if we were to go out and do it with the mask on yeah the hate you know it's great and everybody's the fucking just a internet troll everybody's in the mask place yeah just so upset about anybody if you laugh online right now it's like we're going through the great depression or something you're not allowed to have fun at all like how are you guys posting when so much is going on in the world
Yeah. It's like, we just want to sit around and twiddle our thumbs and be depressed. Like, we're here to make you guys fucking laugh and entertain you. That's what we're here for, motherfuckers. Right. But we, you know, when things open back up, we're going hard. Yay. We've got a bunch of ideas. I'm really excited about that. Yay.
It's like, how can we incorporate what we're doing now? Like, I want to think of ideas. Yeah. Literally, we'll just kind of sit around and think or like she'll text me and be like, hey, we should do that. You know, we kind of write everything down. Yeah. I forget. Yes. That's what I have to do too. I write every idea down, like skit idea, one-liner idea, prank idea, everything. Captions, anything that comes to your brain, write it down or else that's gone. I would love to be a fly on the notes in you guys' phones.
I bet you it's fucking... Do you ever go through your notes and you're like, what the fuck is this? What was I thinking? That's me. Dude, I'll message Mimi at 3 o'clock in the morning with like a whole skit or harebrained idea or like, hey, we're waking up and recording a song in the morning and she just wakes up. She's like, okay, let me get it scheduled, you know? And I'm just like, yeah, no. It's like the notes are just nonstop. And I feel like in the middle of the night is when I get my most creative. Or at least I think I'm creative. And then I read it the next morning and I'm like...
I'm like, no, I'm not doing that. What was it like? What's it like being with Chelsea? Be honest. Look at him. How long have you guys been together? 15 years. Yeah. 15 years. Yeah. Since 05. That's admirable. That's really admirable. Well, it won't last much longer. I'm just kidding. Stop it. I'm just kidding. No prenup.
We got married in 2009. What's it like being with me? She don't want timeline, baby. It's great. No, it's great being with her. She's awesome. It's never a dull moment. And I'm like, say what's great about me. Don't give her a timeline. Hold on. She turned into Tammy real quick. Hey, there's not a whole lot of separation. Now we know where Tammy comes from. That's what Greg says. There ain't a whole lot of separation. I know where the fucking character comes from. Oh, yeah, for sure. That's when she gets irritated with me. Yeah. But isn't that amazing that that became internet gold? You inspired that. Crazy.
Insane. I'll take all the credit. Thanks. Yeah. She's all the talent, but you gotta give me some credit, right? For pissing her off. What is it like traveling? Cause I know Jay and I, we've been on the road now for five years, whenever we do tour and we've gotten, you have to seriously respect each other's space, especially being together all the time. Are you guys, do you guys respect each other's space or do you have to turn into Tammy on them? Greg,
really doesn't travel with me because he still has he works you know regular job you're like a fucking scientist or something right i forgot what it was yeah electrical engineer yeah yeah like so yeah he still works and i people will message me all the time they're like you know it sucks that greg's back home i bet you miss him i'm like part of me does but i love the time i love it i'm the same way like i tell him that all the time right yeah
And there's nothing wrong with that. She's like, I make sure he knows it. I make sure he knows I don't miss it. At first, it can hurt your feelings. But then I understand where it's coming from. We've been together a long time. And we've done the long distance relationship multiple times. No, and I really feel like, dude, when Jay's on tour, he'll leave for three months at a time. He wants me to be there all the time. And I'm like, baby, I'll do two weeks on and a couple weeks off. Because...
It's like you want that. You know, abstinence makes the heart grow fonder. It really does work. These couples that are always up each other's asses. I can't. I don't know how they do it. I can't. That's not my thought. Me and Brett are always together. And when we go on girls trips and stuff or, you know, it's nice. It's nice. It's nice to miss. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. But I think what a lot of people forget when they're in relationships is they forget
they morph into one person and they don't keep their two separate personalities. And that's where I think a lot of problems, you know, come involved, which I think is really cool that you've managed to maintain not being Mr. Trailer Trash Tammy and you have your own thing going on too, you know? That's how, that's, that's how Jay and I have had to do it. And, and, you know, it's been a struggle, but I refuse to be Mrs. Jelly Roll. I am my own person and he's his own person. Um, so you got a new car. Oh, oh,
Big mama. Big mama. What is it? It's a 1978 Lincoln Town Car, baby blue. Are you going to put suicide doors on it? I'm going to keep it. It is pristine. Yeah. Okay. It's set in a garage for 40 years. They put an average of 500 miles on it. Wow. It was custom made in 78. It is, when I say pristine, I'm not touching a thing.
a thing oh you're just leaving it original it's my daily driver oh my god the seats are huge and just like it's luxury baby it's got every option it's we got the build sheet for it yeah we have whatever was done to the car by the previous every oil change receipt for 40 years wow how old how old were the people that you bought it from just an older couple 60s
he was 98 oh yeah yeah yeah yeah the guy had died the older people take such good care of their fucking cars yes yeah and that's been that's been probably my one of my dream cars yeah since high school and how i was wasn't even in the market for one right here's how it happened people my audience knows i love that type those type of cars and someone had dm'd me a link i live in escondido california outside of san diego she had dm'd me a link and she was like hey
I live in Escondido and I just saw this Cars for Sale on Facebook Market and it was a brown one. Oh. I thought, oh, that's cool. So I get on there and I start looking and I saw it and I was like, baby, I'm about to buy a car. Baby.
And he was like, are you sure? I was like, yeah, I'm going to buy it. Oh, my God. That is so amazing, though. So we drove over there to get it. And we asked, you know, took it for a test drive. He goes, what we're doing is until tomorrow, we're taking offers on the car. A car club was selling it. So we had to, like, bid. It was a bidding war. Yeah, it was donated to the big mama. And I won. Yes, you did. I got a big mama. Yeah. Yeah. I love that for you guys. That makes me so happy. Jay literally just bought a Cadillac. I don't know the...
And older? Yes. And you'll have to ask him about it whenever we go downstairs. I was just like, you know what? Buy it because I'm buying my car. What color?
Has he posted it? No, he just got it. Literally, like... Oh, I was going to say, I haven't seen it. No, no, no. He just got it. So whenever we go downstairs, have him show it to you because it's, like, his pride and joy. And I looked at it, and I was like, this looks like an old pimp's car. Yeah. I was like, what the hell? Yeah. I'm just like, what in the hell are we doing with this? But whatever, dude. It's her daily driver, and it's so long. So we're like, I hope we can make it through a drive-thru. Yep. Feels like you're driving a boat. But it's, like, it has that wheel, though. The wheel is so thin. And, you know, the...
Oh, it is. It drops like butter. I mean, it is. I just love it. I'm getting horny. I love it. Well, whenever I come to Cali, I want to go. Yes. I want to go for a spin. Yes. All right. Maybe take a naked picture for OnlyFans on there. Yes. Spread my holes right on there. Oh, yes.
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After you place your order, be sure to let them know I sent you. Select podcast in the survey and be sure to select my show, Dumb Blonde, in the drop down menu that follows. So let's talk about, Jen, you can fart on cue. Kind of. Or what is this that I'm hearing about you? Well, kind of. I do got a poop right now. I know you guys wanted to like maybe do a fart today. Yes. But I could not find the powder. Oh, no, we have powder here for you.
So the reason, the reason, I don't know. Listen, we, my team comes prepared. So what we wanted, did you get that? Did you get the pure color? So, well, what we wanted to do was we wanted to have you fart certain types of powders and Chelsea has to guess what the powder is that you're farting.
Okay. I fart cocaine. She's like, okay. Is that something that you're open to? We should have went and had Mexican food. Damn it. Do you feel like he got any in you? Yeah, I did not take a poop today, which I usually do at the start of the morning. I was a little thrown off, but it could still happen. Okay. Like, were we going to do it like now? Yep, we'll do it now. That'll be the last. And we figured that the prize will be Jay gets to sign your titties.
Yeah. Okay. I'm like, who's cities? Because I don't really.
I mean, listen, he'll sign those too. He loves all titties. So yeah, no, my husband is just like, let's, let's go. Titties. Yeah. Exactly. But the only way we turn them down is face down. So that's how it goes around this house. Um, all right. So what do we need to do to get you prepared to do this? We were going to have you lay across this table right here. Okay. Yeah. And then what we'll do is we'll have, what are, how are we going to do this memes? Okay. We're going to cut. We'll be right back.
All right, guys, we are back. We are. We have Paige ready to roll. And so what we're going to be doing is Chelsea is going to be guessing the substance out of Paige's fluffs. And then when Chelsea, if Chelsea gets them right, Jelly gets to sign her titties. So I think it's a fair trade. Yeah. Are you excited about this? Did you ever think your life would come to this? No.
- 10 years ago, what was I doing? I would not do this. - Hey baby. - Hey. - She's like, what are you doing? - Y'all are scaring me. - No, we're good. - Y'all, don't look at my butthole. - I've seen it. - You can't look at the powder that's in there because then it'll give it away. - Okay. - So we know the name of the game is you gotta guess what's in Paige's hole. - Okay. - She's like, I've been here before. - Hold on, I'm out of breath. I just walked upstairs. - No, you're good.
We just ate so much food too, so you literally are probably going to shit your pants right now. Well, you don't have any pants on. You're going to shit the table. So when she farts, I have to look at it and see what it was? Yes. Maybe even smell the air. Shut up. Shut the hell up. Okay. I'm...
Ready when you are. What do we do? Should we just talk till I get something going? I think we can. So when you guys were doing the baby shower thing. Gender reveal. How fucking hilarious was that? Did you guys think it was going to go as viral as it did? And I knew it and I told her. I go, get ready. I think I got it. I barely saw. I think it's so heavy that I got to get a powerful one. That's the case.
Okay. Okay. Yes. So she came to me and she goes, I had this idea for like two years. I just haven't, you know, and she told me, I was like, uh, we're doing it today. Yeah. And as soon as we filmed it, I literally go get ready. Okay. Cause we're going viral. Yeah. We're going viral. Dude.
She's like, you think? I go, hey, this is going to be, yes. Dude, I laughed so hard. But I think the second one you guys did was even funnier because you were dying so hard that it made me die. Like, it was just so funny. And she wanted to redo it. She wanted to actually do it. And I said, this will get more love than anything will. No, it was so funny. I was literally just fucking.
cracking up. I was like, these fucking chicks are so funny, dude. Yeah. Because we were trying to be serious and I just couldn't. Yeah. Watching it speed, watching it fly out of her butthole, I could not laugh. That's a fucking talent. When did you discover that you could put shit on your butthole and just air it out like that? Uh, the gender reveal. Oh, that was the first time. Yeah. You'd never farted on camera prior to that? Well, I farted on my brother-in-law's head. Like,
You want me to shake this up? Yeah, yeah, yeah, please. Can I get a mic switch? There we go. Yeah, so I farted on my brother-in-law's head a couple years ago. But in terms of powders? Yeah, but from then on, that fart, like anything I post, people are like, where's the fart? And I'm like, shit, can I live? You know? Do you feel like you kind of pigeoned yourself in a hole doing that? Yeah, yeah. So now it's like falls and farts. Do you need some sort of like massage? Yeah.
Lower back? No, maybe just the drink. My drink over in the window sill. Okay. On that side. Is that it? Yeah, that other one. Can you make yourself fart? Is that what it is? Or do you have to just... I could fart right now. I would love to hear you fart right now. Get some powder. Wait, wait, get the mic.
Fart in the mic. Oh, darn it, though. It's going to stink. If this is not good, I'm going to be so fucking embarrassed. Look at these dudes. You guys, this is awesome. Chelsea Lynn is about to bless us with her flatulence. That's what it's called, right? Flatulence. That was a fucking good one, dude. I'm not living.
- That one. - Oh, she had it tight, huh? - Listen, your little cheeks are tight. I was just about to say that 'cause my husband farts all the time and his little cheeks are so tight. I just, I love it. I love when he farts. - That one felt good. - When I fart, it sounds like foghorn leghorn. Like it's like so deep and has baritone. I don't even know how it comes out of me like that. - We should put the shit in her ass. - No, no, not right now. I got jellyfish.
You guys will be like fucking running for cover like red slimers hitting the windows and shit. It'll be terrible. So you guys do a lot of shit with Lena Bryan too. Yeah, I love her. I've never met her, but dude, I love when you guys do stuff together. I never thought she was, let me rephrase that. I never knew she was that funny. Oh.
Oh yeah. And she's even funnier in person because she has to keep a lot of stuff on, off social media. Because of music row. Yeah. Yeah. You know, like we filmed a couple of things and she was like, Oh, we can't post, you know, I get it. The great thing about what I do and what we do and I can post anything I want. Yeah. You know, as a comedian and I can get away with it, you know, it's where a lot of people can't. Right. No, no, no. Yeah. I was looking over there. I was making sure she was okay. Well,
Yeah, you know. I just chill for a second, get relaxed, and then something. Yeah, get that lower back. When I was getting a massage earlier, I almost farted on her. Because you were relaxed. Yeah. Do we need to have Brett come in here and give her a massage? No, that... Brett... No, no, no.
He's the worst? Yeah. Can we talk about how you milked his prostate real quick? Talk about that. Yeah, I just stuck my finger in his butthole. So wait, you didn't know you were milking his prostate? No. You were just ramming him with your finger just for fun? Yeah, you know, just sometimes you just slip a finger in. I try. My husband will not let me. I really try. If you're mad into it and he lets you slip a little finger in, you might milk his prostate. So how we found out is Brett...
Had a little bit of like powder almost spew out. Kind of like what you do. That is so crazy that that happened. And I'm like, what the hell was that? It was like, it was like. How did powder come out when a butthole is so moist? I don't, well, it sounds to me like his pipes were clogged maybe. No, it doesn't come out of his ass. What's it come from?
Well, inside the body's moist anywhere. Right, right, right. Right. Well, not straight, but it was like foamy, like not semen. Not semen. And he was still hard. It was frothy. Yeah, it was very frothy, if you will. Like when you're making a souffle, you know how the eggs get all frothy? Yeah, we put designs in it and made a little heart. Nope.
Like coffee, drink. And then he's like, I still have to cum. And I was like, you didn't just cum? And then. It might have been pre-cum. That might have been pre-ejaculation, actually. It was something. He screamed at the top of his. He went. And I was like, oh, shit. Did it hurt? Chachi, no. He said it felt so good.
good jachi huh see i'm not i would never mess with a dude's butthole no well see i have in the past i've just like okay so one of my my exes cheated on me and i was like you know what how can i get this guy back i was like i'm gonna fuck him in his ass so i did and fucking told everybody about it i broke up with him after after i found out he cheated on me fucked him in his ass he was backing into the fucking pink hard dildo it wasn't a soft one it was a hard one he was just like wow
just like getting it dude and I told I broke up with him left him and told everybody
That was like my revenge. Yeah. I don't just go around trying to fuck random dudes. And now you're here just telling everybody. Oh, I have put him on. Listen, they should have never gave me a podcast. Nobody from my past has been safe on this podcast. Don't fuck with Bunny. We need to make that a clip. Exactly. Something's brewing, guys. I'm sorry. I was about to say, so you got a fart? Sorry.
I didn't know it was actually going to happen. All right. You ready? Does this need to be by me? Let me give it a brush. Maybe, yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay, turn your head. You've got to close the eyes. Can't tell. Is it too heavy, though? I don't think so. Okay. But now it's definitely moist. Oh, for sure. You're definitely going home with a yeasty beastie. Is it powder? Yeah, it's all powders that you have to guess that are coming out of her holes. Now, powders that could come out of the kitchen, out of a craft. I mean, they're everywhere. You can look now.
They're everywhere. It's common. I swear. You and Chachi are doing the exact same thing. I know, and I look down like this and notice Chachi's bubble. Chachi wants to get in his house. But back to the Lena Bryan thing. Oh, yeah. His mom.
Is she not the sweetest fucking thing ever? She's a badass. Dude, so fucking dope. Yeah. Like, I want her to be my mom. Yes, I know. Adopt me, please. I know. Well, you saw the video we did. The prank on Luke Bryan. Yes. And that mom, do you see when she like literally whipped out her stick and threw it? She was gonna whoop my ass, dude. No, she wasn't playing. She's got fire in her belly. The best. No, she's so awesome, dude. Have you seen Luke's mom? She is so funny. Yeah, she is.
just the same in person if not better oh yeah i love old people like yes just like so genuine and just like legit just the type of people that on screen is the same way off screen i feel like i feel like we're gonna be oh yeah cool ass old people dude i am scared for the generation below us because we're like gonna be the ultimate like you're gonna have to achieve yes ultimate goddessness to get on our level yeah you're gonna have to fart things out of
I could probably fart again. All right, so should we put the powder in Chelsea's butthole? If shit comes out, we're good. Yeah, we love shit. You're good. You want to try to go? Try to squeeze? A fart? Here's what I've noticed about...
Here's what I've noticed about Paige. Yeah. It's like her farts get scared when she's under pressure. Oh, gotcha. Well, gender reveal took 20 seconds. That was... Oh, yeah. It was locked and loaded. But I prepared for that one. Yeah. This one, I was...
I didn't think it was going to happen because I couldn't find powder. Well, can we just talk about what a nice ass you have, though? The best ass. Oh, and that's another thing. We were checking out her Instagram earlier today, and she's like a little model. Uh-huh. Like, when she really wants to pose and turn it on, like, you're like a little IG thot. Bitch, I've always said that. You're like, I love that. Thank you. I've always said that about her. Yeah, people come and do her hair and makeup and make us look like...
But your poses are just so natural. Oh. And like she'll like just stick her little butt out. Having a photo shoot with her, it's like, right Beth? She's like literally a model. Yeah. No, it's crazy. People always ask, are you a model? I'm like, huh? I fart for a living. Yeah. I just have never thought I'd get asked that question. Yeah. Dude. But like now that like weird people are like the new like trend. Yeah. Weird looking humans. And I'm in that category. Yeah.
So it just kind of goes. No, you're, dude, you're beautiful. Everybody's beautiful in their own way. Yeah. You're beautiful, dude. But I definitely see what you mean. Like a uniquely weird, like. Yes. Yeah, but I think it's cool that you don't look like everybody else. For real. You know? Like, how many fucking blondes with big tits are on fucking Instagram? A lot. But they're, like, you are set aside from it. Mm-hmm. Yeah. You don't blend in. And no one knows you're half Chinese. Nobody ever guesses that. That's crazy. I can see it, though. Half white, half Chinese. I can definitely see it. You're so tall. When she did my makeup, I was like, oh, fuck.
Fuck. Oh, yeah, I'm wearing about 12-inch shoes, but... But, like, for an Asian, like, you're tall. I'm the tallest in my fam. Hmm. I didn't know that. Are they all short? Yeah. Have you got to meet her family yet? I've met...
most well some yeah yeah yeah dude they just love you oh my god like they're my yes yeah yeah they're all just yeah so accepting and yeah i love that like beth her sister showed my dad her tits and my dad said thank you as soon as i met him yeah yeah she said as soon as her dad is her dad oh my god i miss him
He goes, he used to be a science teacher, high school science teacher for like forever. Yeah. He was telling me about it. He was like, all, all the girls used to want to fuck me. That's what he told me. What the fuck?
i love him i know that's what i'm saying and he's like 76 he's like yeah that's like my dad and asian yeah a 76 year old asian like all they all wanted to fuck me all the time he was being dead serious dude i'm not kidding a turd might come out because i keep pushing i just keep seeing the powder clumping up in there i mean how wet is your butthole is what i want to know well it's probably turd what if we what if you kind of spread it a little bit and beth blew on it
I want a legit fart We'll get one of those out No pressure But I'm like should I shit Let's talk about your calendars really quick too Because we didn't touch base on those There was what 80% more titty in this one 40% I loved the tit Next year will probably be 80% When are you going to show the hoo-ha
Oh, you don't want to see that. I do. Let's show her a pic. I definitely do. She has a really good vagina. Thank you. It's not me. I bet. It's just like... Describe it. Okay. So she's got two lips. Tell me... Enough about you. Let's talk about me. Describe my pussy. I'm just kidding. No, I want to hear it. No, please. Okay, go ahead. Well, it is... I would...
say it is a little tanner it doesn't look like a stingray right no huh it doesn't look like a stingray actually now that you say uh it's a lot tanner i was yeah a lot tanner than i thought but i thought it was gonna be like kind of roast beefy and it was actually not
Okay. She showed us on the tour bus the other day. She laid on her back and spread it. Yeah. And Brett said that was great. I just want people to see. When am I invited to the Pussy's Party? We're like...
We're like the weirdest group of friends. We like show each other our buttholes. I want to see everybody naked. It's my thing. That's why OnlyFans is like my playground. Any girls that come on the podcast, I'm like, subscribe. They do the same thing to me and we buy each other's content and shit. We're like dogs. We all want to sniff each other's assholes. Just once. Just get them going, you know? I'm always curious, like, any guy I meet, I'm like, how big's his dick? It doesn't matter if he's like a 90-year-old man.
old man or whatever. I'm just like... Did you think about it with those two dudes? Yeah. Already? She goes, oh, fuck. I'm more curious about women. I'm not... I think dicks are ugly. Oh, they are. I think pussies are pretty. I think dicks are just like... They're just...
yeah i don't know yeah i think they're both just they're like the porpoise of sexual just you know like i just there's nothing cool about them they all look the same except some have a little more of a curve yep some are shorter some are fatter some are longer some are lumpy yep that's what i need to know that's what i need to know you haven't seen enough cock in your life then is that what we're saying is that what's going on here they've all been like
pretty decent but i want to see like i have seen a one tiny one just i didn't do anything to it but we've all made them show us in their room in vegas but now i'm just like curious you know yeah like yeah just i want to see so so back to the calendar we're not gonna get to see that beautiful no because i really want to keep it funny i feel like they need to have you in playboy well that would be iconic af i
I would do that. That would be so cool. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like, okay. A lot of people were like, why don't you show your ass? Well, first of all, I don't have that graven ass, but you know, like everybody bent over looks good though, baby. That's true. If I get that, I'll teach you some poses. Oh yeah. Okay. Dead serious. Next year I'm going to put ass in it. Yay. Yeah. But I feel like when I do the tits as Tammy, it's just funny. And I feel like showing my ass is more like,
I feel more, I mean, I'll flash titties, nothing, but I feel like if I show my ass, it's more like exposed. I'm more like, ooh, no, you know, it's different. It's your nether regions, yeah. It's different. It's more like. Yeah, yeah. I'm the opposite. I feel like showing my ass is not a big deal, but if I show my tits, it's a
little bit no complete opposite for me still show every it's probably because you don't you don't take this the wrong way but you have smaller boobs uh-huh so all your life you've probably been a little insecure about them so you showed your ass more you know whereas tammy chelsea's had bigger boobs so she's shown her tits more yeah i'm not even insecure about my tits like that might have been the wrong word for it everybody but i just i don't know just
Yeah. I've always mooned everyone. Because you have a great ass. Yeah, she does have a great ass. I'm not showing nobody this ass. And just like, even before like volleyball games and shit, I'd like hike my like spandex up my ass. Yeah, I played volleyball too. What was that on your butt that you pulled down your pants and someone came out the front door? Oh, I put happy birthday grandma because it was my grandma's birthday. Holy shit. Dude, I made Brett write that on my butt. So.
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Holy moly. All right, so are we going to have Beth blow in your asshole? Is that what we're going to do? Well, I just tried to fart again, and I turtlenecked. Oh.
So we're going to get no fun. Do you think if I took out a, go in and took a shit and came back? No, because all the farts would, all the farts would be with the shit. You think? It's a family affair. I don't really fart when I shit. It's a family affair. It comes out. You just don't know it. I think Beth Blown is just as good. Yeah. Out of her ass. I'm sorry. I'm sorry you got signed up for this, Beth. I don't think the people watching will be disappointed. No, not at all. And then you can still waft in the fumes and figure it out. Yeah. I think so. Okay.
Flavors. Gross.
It looked like white powder, but I'm not positive. It was white. It was so packed in that it couldn't even get out. Okay. Okay. All right. All right. I'm ready. We're going to take a... Are we going to blow? Oh, I thought... Are we blowing first? We're going to... Are you going to blow? Let her blow first. She can't blow this first one, right? Okay. Yeah. Gotcha. And then the second one, I'll fart it out for sure. Okay. Gotcha. Okay. So... You get in the middle. Okay. Okay.
and you just kind of spread it and Bethany, you just blow. - All right, here we go. - Okay, Chelsea, what do you think the powder is? - Okay, I'm ready. - Here we go. - It's so lumpy. - It's chunky. I was not expecting chunks. Is it chalk? No. - Come lean in. - Oh, I gotta smell it? Great.
Why was it so chunky? Lick it. No! Eat it. I can't believe her asshole's that wet. Ranch dressing? Nice! Nice! Do you understand why it didn't come out? We just talk about how lumpy
That was disgusting. Seeing the lumps. Got me. Got me. That's fucking funny. Dude, but can we just talk about how good of a friend you are? You just go and pick it up. Ranch. Oh, you've got my butt juices in your fingers? Yeah. Dude, how wet is your asshole that it made that fucking lump up like that? Lumpy. I'm not quite sure. Let me go check that out. You got a moist asshole. Let's take a break.
Okay. It's definitely well lubed. Sometimes, well, hold on one second. If Brett dumps a load in me, it doesn't come out right away. It takes about a couple, like a week. A week? That's insane. Mine dumps out right away. Well, we have sex almost like, you know. Is Brett secretly packing heat?
I've seen his winter. He's good. He's average. That might be why. His head is way bigger than his shaft. Wow. I've never seen a head to shaft ratio like that. It's wild to see. It's like a hammerhead. It's wild to see. Well, it hits that spot. Yeah. Like, it's the first man who can make me orgasm. Just vaginally. Vaginally. Go, Brett, go.
- Go Brett. - I'm so happy you're listening to this right now. - All the ladies are gonna be at the DM. - I know. Brett, we wanna see that big head. - Hey Brett, can we see your hammer head? - Post it to your OnlyFans. - I will be back, okay? - All right, all right. We'll be right back guys. Not looking. - All right, here we go. - Oh gosh. - You're okay. - I forgot. I just totally was like. - That's great. - I don't know. - Let's do, dude, do people just see weird shit in here all the time?
Well, we're normally here during the day, so I don't think anybody's over there, though, so don't worry about it. And if they are, who fucking cares? They're enjoying it. That's what I'm saying. All right, you got to turn your head. Turn your head. Here we go. We're going in. Just if you need to wipe the hole. Wipe the hole first. Yeah, because that shit's wet. That's a fucking bed.
No, Beth is amazing. Beth comes through. Dude, she's amazing. When's Beth's birthday? November 29th. Oh, you're sad. It's like my hubby. How do you know all of these signs? I just study people. I love people. I love people, so I like to just study what they are. Yeah. All right. All right, here we go.
I feel like I can already see it clumping up. Can you fart? It got in my hole immediately. Okay. I'm ready for it. If not, Beth will blow. We know Beth can blow. Beth Blue. Beth Blue is good. That's a good porn name, Beth Blue. Beth Blue. That's a good porn name. Like porn star name? Yeah. Beth Blue. Ooh, it is. B-L-E-W. Blue. Yeah. Yeah.
Alright, we ready? Okay, she's blowing. Alright, we're gonna blow. Here we go. I think a fart would be so good. Okay, it would. It's okay. Blowing is just as funny. It is. Here we go. Okay, are you ready? Yes. She looks like a little turkey right here. Alright, come on.
Okay. Chunks. Is it blue? It might have a little color to it. It looks like salt. Just smell it. I think if you sniffed her asshole, you would know. Taste it. Sugar? It's a form of sugar mixed with something. God. Come get close and look. Jesus. Oh my God.
Okay, it's sugar. Sniff it. Sniff it, Chels. Smell it. Just take a big whiff. I can't. I can't. Come on. It smells delicious. Oh, God. I see the wetness in there. I smell a little pickle. Here's something that... Here. Oh. I don't smell nothing. Oh, my God.
All right, we'll give you a hint. You drank it a lot as a child. Kool-Aid? Yes, ma'am. Yay! No, I was going to say Kool-Aid at first, but the crystals looked big. Yeah, I mean, something's going on in that asshole. The heat, I don't know what's going on, but it's literally forming everything. That's what I thought at first. Yay! Okay, okay. So you're two for two right now. Can we pull this in somebody else's asshole and see if it clumps up like this to see if I'm normal or not?
- No, you got a moist. - Nobody else's is like this? - I mean. - I could see it glistening when I spread it. - Oh fuck, for real? - Yeah. - Well it did just get really wet. - All right, let's do one more. Was that a fart? - No, that was. - That was your, oh. - Chachi went nuts. - Oh God. - Gino, you're okay. - He doesn't know what's going on. - All right, I'm ready for another powder. - All right, we got the last. We're gonna do one more.
all right she went and wiped her her little hole because the kool-aid was fucking singeing her little hole and now look jachi's like what is going on here jachi's trying to figure it out i know dude they're just like sitting there death's had worse days all right all right all right well here we go is it in no not yet that's what she said that's what he said
Ooh, what the fuck is that? Oh, fuck. All right, it's in. Ready? We're ready. We gonna blow or? We're gonna blow. You wanna try to fart? It's up to you guys. I mean, if you can fart, let's go. We're ready. It's charged. All right, we're gonna blow. Well, Lainey blows. There she blows. Yeah, you're gonna have to really waft in this one. Really? Yeah, wafting. Remember, waft. I read that they, uh, spar on each other.
ready ready set no it blew down oh all right hold on you gotta turn maybe put it up towards the crack and not so much the hole right okay here we go one two cocoa powder no but it is a spice i can smell it from here
You're on the right Nutmeg? Yes Yeah She fucking got it Baby Yay Oh yeah Now I'm getting the nutmeg Now you can smell it Eggnog Yes baby Yeah Fuck yeah baby Well Jellie gets to sign your titties Let's do it Are you excited about this or what? Hell yeah Alright why don't you plug your socials Tell everybody where they can find you Yes everybody go Follow me
Yes! Welcome back to 97.3. Dude.
it is chelsea lynn on everything instagram facebook youtube chelsea lynn and then trailer trash tammy also trailer trash tammy which we didn't get we didn't hang out with tammy today but it's okay we saw she tried to come out a little bit earlier yeah that was good enough for us next time i'll do full-blown tammy i love it love it all right page go ahead drop your socials and you're and you're selling your butthole coasters yes hello uh all my socials are page jen
g-i-n-n and that's for instagram all of it all of it all right you guys chat yep awesome thank you for having us thank you guys for coming i love you guys so much you guys are just my family and i hope you guys don't don't mind because you're literally my sisters from other so i'm so happy to have you guys here and you're so pretty i love you guys thank you guys so much for tuning in to another episode of dumb blonde we will see you guys next week bye