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All right, gentlemen coming to main stage next this is bunny get up there She's got a tornado of titties coming your way get those dollar bills ready She's got an ass that shakes like Michael J Fox. So get up there and throw throw throw them dollars Dude, that is fucking iconic. What's up you sexy motherfuckers? Welcome to another episode of dumb blonde today I have a tick-tock sensation in the midst. But what's really cool is she is like a long-lost sister and
that I'm just so happy to bring on the podcast and do you want me to call you Trashly or do you want me to call you Ashley? I feel bad calling you Trashly. A lot of people say that like no I don't like calling you Trashly. It's up to you. I just got that nickname in prison so you can call me Ashley. It's fine. Okay but she goes by Trashly Anonymous right on TikTok and we're just so happy to have you here. What's up baby? Yeah well I'm happy to be here. I'm super super fucking nervous.
Don't be. Oh, yeah. This is my podcast. We talk about buttholes. We talk about everything on this podcast. Don't be nervous. I think so. OK, let's let's rewind all the way back to when I first discovered you. It took me forever to get on TikTok. I was like, I'm not fucking getting on TikTok. I'm fucking 40 years old. I'm not fucking going on TikTok. And my manager was like, bitch, you're getting the fuck on TikTok, whether you want to do it or not.
So I got on there and I remember seeing your posts and I was just like, oh my God, because you were so open about your lifestyle, which we'll get into. And I immediately was like, oh, this is my bitch. You know, I was like, this is my girl because you just...
No matter the ridicule, no matter people coming against you, you still stood strong in your truth. And I appreciate that in women because not enough women have enough balls to do shit like that, especially nowadays. So why don't we hop into a little bit of your story that you do tell on TikTok? Where were you born and raised? Okay, so I was born and raised in Columbus, Ohio. Well, actually, it's
literally like a hick town was called um thornville ohio so we grew up um well i grew up on this farm we had it was called buckeye lake music center back in the day and they had like concerts like jimmy buffett's grateful dead just a bunch of you know um musicians and um we lived there up until
I don't know, maybe like I was probably 13 or 14. We moved literally like right down the road for a year.
And then we moved to Pickerington. And I feel like when we moved to Pickerington, that's when I moved in with my aunt. And it seems like my life just completely went to shit. So let's talk about that for a little bit because I'm real big on talking about trauma here. Like, we've all fucking been through some shit. And I just think it's a beautiful thing when you see women who literally rise above it and come out of it and break those generational curses. So fucking kudos to you. Why did you have to go live with your aunt? So...
I chose to go live with her because, um, well, both my parents passed away when I was a baby. So, well, my biological dad, he's still here, you know, unfortunately, but I've only here, but not here. Yeah. Yeah. I get that four times and I'm 36. That's how my mom is. I've only seen her probably two or three times and I'll, I'll be 42 in a week. Oh my God. I did not know that. Um, and so like, you know, my grandparents, um,
My grandpa, he ended up getting lung cancer and he decided to die at the house. And I just was not comfortable with that. Yeah. And my aunt, she was always, she was like that young mom kind of, you know, uh,
I guess, influence on me at the time that I didn't have at home. Like I was used to like the old school, you know, grandma and grandpa kind of thing. And so I just chose to live with her. She had, you know, the extra room. She at first was like, yeah, come live with me. And, you know, uh,
Like I said, that was a big, big mistake. Like I remember like a handful of times during my childhood before moving in with her. Like she, I didn't know my grandparents who were my grandparents until she told me when I was like seven years old. Oh, you thought they were your parents. Yeah, I thought they were my mom and dad. That's gotta be heartbreaking. Oh yeah. You know? She came over and she was like, you need to stop calling my mom and dad your mom and dad. I'm like, what do you mean? And she's like, well, your mom and dad, you know, your mom died when you was a baby and your dad just doesn't want you. And I was like, what?
I was really confused. I thought she was lying. This is your aunt, right? Yeah. Okay. And so ever since then, like she, you know, every time she would come over, she would just like, just say little stuff, you know, like just...
She had a daughter that was my age, my cousin. And I would overhear conversations she would have with my grandparents. Like, why don't you treat, you know, Valerie like this? Why don't you do this and that for her? Take her on vacation with you. You know, buy her this. And I remember my grandma telling her so many times, like, well, it's a different situation. Like, I'm raising her as my own. She don't have parents. Your kids have parents. Like, it's different. And evidently, she just didn't get the concept. So...
When I moved in with her when I was 13, you know, she always, like, married for money. So, which there's nothing wrong with that. No, I mean, shout out to all the babies who do that. But I can't do it. We'll talk about that later. But she, I always seen her with somebody who was older and had money. And so she was always that, like, submissive housewife, you know.
And she would always tell me and my cousin so many times, like, you know, make sure that, you know, whoever you are with, make sure they have money, they can take care of you. That's how my dad raised me. Yeah. So, I mean, in a sense, I guess, you know, it's a good thing. You know, you want what's, I guess, best for, you know, your kids. And I guess that's all she knew. Right. So, but...
She was... I could tell right off the bat. She completely, you know, treated me completely different than her kids. But every time we would go out somewhere and...
And she would run into like a friend of hers. She would introduce me like, oh, this is my niece, but she's like my daughter. You know, I'm raising her like my own, but she's behind closed doors. She's calling me all kinds of, you know. So she was a narcissist, whatever made her look good in front of people. And then she put you down because she was jealous of you. Yeah, that's exactly, that's exactly in a nutshell. Exactly. And.
And same with her, same with her kids too. Like even till this day, it's the same, you know, I don't talk to any of them now, but it's still the same, the same old shit. So moving forward in your childhood, you had, you had to deal with a lot of abuse. When did that start? So I remember we lived in California for like, I think a year. Um, I was like four or five and, um,
I remember being in the garage and both of my brothers were in there. These are your real blood brothers? Yeah. Okay. So, well, we have different dads, but same mom. Gotcha. So, I remember my second oldest...
He Shane, he left the garage, but he shut the door behind him. And then my oldest brother was sitting, there was a weight weight bench and he was sitting on the edge of the weight bench and he pulled his pants down. And I remember him telling me, Oh, well just act like you're sucking your thumb.
And I'm like, I started screaming because he ended up, you know, grabbing my hand, putting it on, you know, himself. How old was he at this time? Yeah. How old was he? I was, or he, wait a minute. So I'm 36. He's like 40, 46 or 47. Okay. So he was a lot older. I mean, not that it would have mattered how old he was, but he knew what the fuck he was doing. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely.
I remember screaming and crying while, you know, um, I opened up the garage door, went to the front door and I told my grandmother and I remember her yelling at them at both of my brothers. But then like two or three days later, she just, she used to go to Mexico a lot for some reason, her and my grandpa. I don't know why, but I'm like pills or the Tijuana donkey show. Which one is it? But you know, cause I've been there for both. Yeah.
Like now I know why. Like, yeah, well, I'm pretty sure I know why, but...
You know, she just left me there with them. She never made a big deal. And it was always whatever goes on in this house stays in this house. Like that was the motto. Like you don't say anything to your friends. Yeah. I feel like that generation, that's how they were like, let's, Oh, you got raped. Cool. Let's sweep it under the rug. Like, and you got to deal with that trauma by yourself. Like, it's just crazy how different our generations are now. Oh, I know. Yeah. So different. And I remember,
saying something to my aunt and um she of course you know thought I was lying well come to find out like she was actually having relations sexual relations with one of my brothers and I've always the aunt was banging one of the brothers yes her nephew so she was a horny mother fucker
Shit. I'm one of those people who makes fun of my trauma. So I just try to make people laugh when they talk about their trauma too. It's very inappropriate. It's a fucking weird tactic I've acquired in life. And I apologize. It's totally fine. I do the same thing. Like I...
I remember hearing things from even my brother. He would say things like, oh, yeah, I banged, you know, Trisha last night. But I really didn't know if he was telling the truth or he was just being a dick. Right. Were your brothers abused sexually by anybody? Is that why they...
So I don't know, but I've had so many people ask me that and I... Because that's learned behavior. When I was five years old, my aunt used to make me sit down and watch porn with her and she would make me tell my parents that I was watching Alice in Wonderland. Oh my God. And Disney movies. Yeah. So needless to say, I grew up really sexual and that's because, you know, amongst other things that have happened in my life. But, you know, when a child gets exposed to some sort of sexual behavior at a young age, it changes.
it turns them out, you know? And I can't just imagine your, your, not that it's an excuse. There's no fucking excuse for it, but I just can't imagine that your brothers acquired that without some sort of abuse. Yeah. I'm pretty sure there's something that had to, you know, went on. Yeah. Um, like I, uh,
Even my grandmother, my grandpa, he was a truck driver. So he used to take me on the road with him all the time, which, you know, I would skip school and go, you know, with him. And I enjoyed doing that. But I remember my grandmother always asked me every single time he would come back, you
I need to ask you this, Ashley. Did anything happen while you were on the road and all that stuff? And I used to get so mad at her. Like, no. Like, why would you ask me that? She was trying to be protective or she was jealous? Because there's a weird thing there, you know? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. All I know is...
I remember her asking me so many times and then I just said, look, you know, why are you asking me this? And she's like, well, I remember walking in one day when your mom was like 11 years old and he was drunk and he was touching her inappropriately. And she said that was the last time that he drank. Okay. So I never seen my grandpa drink. So I didn't even know he was even an alcoholic. Right. Um, but after my grandma, you know,
that to me. I don't know if it was like a seed planted in my head and I just started having like these dreams and just these flashbacks of
certain incidents with my grandpa. Right. But like I said, I don't know if it really happened or... It's crazy because when you're a child and stuff like that happens to you, I'm dealing with this now because I'm starting to get like therapy and shit. You disassociate from the trauma that's happening and you either become another person, which is what multiple personality disorder happens, or you...
separate yourself out of your body so much that it becomes derealization and it feels like a dream. So it's like you really don't know if something happened to you because it was obviously a traumatic situation. Yeah. When did the abuse with your brother start leveling up? Did that, did it stop at him? Just you touching, grabbing your hands or? No. So I remember when we moved from California back to Ohio, we lived on the farm.
Um, I used to beg my grandma to let me, you know, sleep in her bed with her. Um, especially if my brothers were at home or if I knew they were coming home, um, I would throw a fit or I would just like, you know, just go into her room and just act like I'm asleep so that she would just let me sleep there. Um,
But I remember my bedroom was upstairs. Her bedroom was downstairs. So both, you know, all me and my two brothers were upstairs. So every time I would sleep in my room, I would always wake up to, and I always had the door closed, always have the door completely closed. And I would wake up to the door being open and, you know, either like my underwear off or like if I had like pajama shorts or whatever, they would be off. Um,
And I know like I didn't do that, you know, and then about nine times out of 10, my sheets would be wet, you know, because I wet the bed. So and every time I would ask my grandma, like, can I just please sleep with you? She would say, yeah. But then if my grandpa came home from, you know, on the road or if he was there, he would carry me upstairs. So then I would wake up in my bed. Right. And I used to be, you know, like sleepwalking.
so pissed because I'm like, you know, what the hell? Like, and they knew what was going on. They knew what was going on. I remember when they, when my brothers, when we actually moved from the farm to, you know, down the street before we moved to Pickerington, I remember my grandparents kicking them out and
And they told me at the time they kicked them out because they weren't going to school. You know, they were just skipping school and stuff. But come to find out it was because of the abuse that they were, you know, doing to me. And my grandma just wanted it to stop. So instead of calling the police like she should have, you know, she just kicked them out thinking that, you know, they weren't going to do it anymore. Yeah.
Um, which when they did kick them out, I guess I just ended up getting old, you know, older and, um, you know, they left me alone. They lost interest because you were older. Yeah, exactly. So sad. Yeah. Sick. Yep. And so I remember when I was 14, I, you know, met my son's, um, my son's dad.
And he was like my first crush or, you know, God. But I look back on some of my crushes, too. And I'm like, oh, Lord. Yes. Shit. My last ex. I'm still like that. Every ex I've had. I'm like, God, what was I fucking thinking? Yes.
And I remember when he first came over to my aunt's house, you know, he raped me. And I remember that day so vividly. So you guys had been dating or this was like your first like, hey, come over and let's hang out. So I met him probably like a week or two weeks before he came over. I met him on my 14th birthday. How old was he? He was either 19 or 20. Okay. So...
We hung out, obviously, you know, when we met, I met him at the pool hall or whatever, went across the street to the movie theater and, you know, we exchanged numbers and we were talking for like that whole like week or two.
And we came up with a plan to where he was going to tell my aunt and uncle that he was only like 17. He just turned 17. So when he came over, he ended up saying, no, I, you know, I'm 19 and you know, blah, blah, blah. So my aunt was okay with it, which was really weird because she was so, um,
like adamant with and very strict on she probably wanted to bang him yeah oh yeah well that's coming up oh lord yes yes so when like i said i remember that nice like it was yesterday i remember exactly what i was wearing i remember the smell in the air i remember what time it was on the clock like i remember everything so after it happened i remember um
going upstairs saying something to my aunt she was like well just go take a shower and see you know take a bath or whatever and you know see how you feel what happened in the he just went in the room and just raped you so I went down after he met you know the family or whatever um
He was like, well, I got to go to the restroom. Like, okay, well, I'll just meet you downstairs. So downstairs was on one side was my room, but the other side was like the hangout room. That's where, you know, me and my cousin, our friends will go to hang out and drink and smoke. And, you know, my aunt will come down there and hang out with us and stuff. So I was over there. I was on the futon. I was playing the video game, waiting for him to come down. He comes downstairs and he sits beside me and he just, you know, we just started making out and we,
All of a sudden he takes... Like I had the video game controller still in my hand and he takes that out of my hand and then he starts, you know...
literally like leaning on me. And, um, I was like, okay, his hands started to wander, you know, across my breasts and down, you know, below. And I was like, wait a minute, I'm not comfortable with this. And that, cause I was a virgin. Yeah. And he was like, no, it's fine. It's fine. I remember him just, I had on Tommy Hopeville gear, um, overalls and a long sleeve white shirt. And,
he takes me from, you know, the futon to on the floor and he just on snaps, you know, my, um,
God damn it. Straps. Yeah. It's okay. You're talking about something traumatic, so it's definitely going to be. Yeah. And he, you know, just started, you know, doing, I wasn't just wasn't taking no for an answer. And I told him no, like more than I told him no three times. Like the first time I was on the couch, I said, no, I'm not comfortable. He's like, oh, it's fine. Just go with the flow. When you took me down there, I'm like, no, like I really don't want to do this.
And then the third time I'm like, look, I'm a virgin. Like I have never done anything like this before. You know, like this is not what I want. And he was like, oh, it's fine. It's fine. It's not going to hurt. It'll be fine. It'll be over before you know it. And then, you know, it was over before I knew it. Like it would probably only last maybe like a couple minutes, like literally only. But he didn't use protection.
And like I was bleeding a little bit. So I didn't know if that was like normal. I didn't know what the hell was going on. So when he left, because he left right after that happened. Right. And as soon as I... What a great guy. Right. Just takes your virginity, doesn't even cuddle you or anything, dude. Right.
As soon as I heard the garage door, because there was like an alarm on the garage door. As soon as I heard it, you know, beep, I went upstairs. I said something to my aunt. That's when she told me to just take a shower because I told her I was bleeding. I'm like, I don't know what's going on. And she's like, oh, you know, he just popped your cherry. That's just normal. Okay. Well, I didn't want it popped. That's the problem. She didn't make a big deal about it at all. So, yeah.
when I was in the shower, I just kept thinking like, well, maybe I'm making a big deal about it. Maybe I'm just overreacting because this is a guy that I like. Trying to rationalize it. Yeah. Um, and so I remember even after that incident, I think it was not even like two or three days later, I was coming home from the bus on the bus and the bus passes her, you know, my aunt's house. And I saw his red pickup truck in the driveway and,
I'm like, oh, great. Like, what the hell? Well, he would come over quite a bit, like while I was at school. And if I had like a friend that was on the bus with me, either Holly or Jennifer, I would either go to their house. Can I just stay at your house? Because I noticed that he would leave around the same time my uncle would come home from work, like between like six or seven. Yeah. Yeah.
So after this happened, he would just go to your house and hang out and you just constantly avoided him? Well, I still talked to him. After that incident, I did talk to him over the phone because I, just because my aunt didn't make a big deal, I just assumed that it wasn't a big deal. I just assumed that I was overreacting.
And then I resorted back to thinking about my brothers. Like, well, maybe this is what guys does to girls that they like. Right. You know? So, but I would try to avoid him as much as I can. There was like so many times where I would have to go home because none of my friends were on the bus. So when I would go, you know, back home, um,
He would just, you know, be there in the kitchen with my aunt, just, you know, talking or whatever. Um, I didn't think anything was going on between them. Well, you're young, right? You know, you're, you don't have a lot of life experience underneath you. And you're so naive and I didn't, you know, whatever thing. That's not your fault. Yeah. Yeah.
But come to find out, they were sleeping together. And that sounds like a real fucking gem of a woman. Yeah. Oh, my God. Well, listen, it's not just her. It's also my cousin. She slept with him, too. Lord. And this guy have a fucking dick made of gold or what's happening? Fucking Lord. Yeah.
And I remember... So you found out that they were sleeping together? Well, I didn't find out then. Right. So I found out maybe two or three years later. Hold on one second. Memes, will you hit that heat, baby? It's coming down. Yeah. I'm so sorry. It's like right here. Thank you. So you found out two or three years later? Yeah. God, that's a long time. He fucking stuck around for a while. Yeah. Well, he... Oh, it's...
It's just a complete shit show. Yeah. After... Okay, so...
This is just like a lot. I feel like my whole life is just like a complete shit show. We're just painting a picture for people to see where you came from, what you went through and how you came out of it. So I think even, you know, these details are great and people are going to definitely be, sadly, there's going to be people who are going to be able to relate to the same situation, you know? Well, I remember after, um, from the day that he, you know, raped me, we stayed in contact for maybe like two months and,
After the two months, I remember it was my aunt and uncle's wedding anniversary. They were out to dinner and he came over and he was like...
you know, telling me, well, I got four bags of, you know, trash bags in the trunk. I'm just going to pack your clothes and we're going to go. Like we've, we talked about me leaving with him to go out of state, uh, because he knew how fucked up my family was. He's seen it. I mean, he fit right in. It was almost like a tactic to get you alone though. I feel like, yeah, absolutely. And he control you easier. Right. Um,
And he, um, he, that's what he did. He, you know, as soon as my aunt and uncle left for dinner, he comes over, he, uh, he's like, well, go upstairs and distract Valerie, you know? And so I tell Valerie like, well, I'm just going to go down the street and get, you know, some cigarettes or something from, you know, shell. So, um,
And she's like, okay. She's like, we'll be back before, you know, mom and, you know, mom comes home. I'm like, oh yeah, I will. So we leave. And I remember like, I didn't obviously back then I didn't have no cell phone. Like I was only, you know, 14. So I remember maybe like an hour, hour and a half later, his phone starts blowing up and he,
Um, his mom called him and I can hear his mom at the time we were at a hotel. He ended up, you know, getting a hotel, um, literally like a probably $30 hotel. So I was sitting on the bed and I can hear his mom, um,
saying do you know how old this girl is because he told his mom that I was 18 no and he was like mom it doesn't matter I heard him tell her like well she's getting abused at the home and all this of her family's just crazy you know and she's like it doesn't matter like you're going to get arrested for this you're going to get in trouble and mind you I never told him I was getting abused at home right ever was just part of his tactic yeah
And I think I told him about like my my brothers. But, you know, not in detail or. Right. So I remember the next day we get up early, probably like six or seven in the morning. And he we leave and we were going to go down to Georgia. That is that's what our plan was. So.
We were driving while he was driving. And as soon as he almost hit the West Virginia, West Virginia. Tell me what's on your mind, baby. So the West Virginia line, there was a state police and I guess he was speeding and they pulled him over.
And of course there was like a missing persons and all this stuff. So they take me out and they're like, what's your name? Cause he gave them like a false name of mine. I was like, I'm not going to lie to them. They're going to know. Right. So they take him to jail. My aunt comes and picks me up. I was like maybe two and a half, three hours away from home. So she was pissed. Yeah. And so her, my uncle comes and gets me and, um,
They were like, well, we're going to take you to Children's because we're going to get a rape test done on you. And at this time, we did have sex the day before, the night before, but it was consensual. Right. He did not rape me then. Yeah. And I told her, I was on our way to Children's. I'm like, you do realize he did not rape me. Like,
I agree to it. When I told you that he raped me two months ago, you didn't do anything about it. Right. Now the aunt wants to fucking come to you because she's probably feel scorned because he chose you over her. Probably. Yeah. Now that I, now that you say that. Yeah. That's exactly what happened. That's how narcissists are. That's crazy. That's probably what it was. That's anyway. So,
She takes me to children's and she tells the doctor, I want a rape test. And the doctor, and I said, no, I don't want it done. And he was like, well, I can't do it without her consent. Cause I was just like raping her all over again.
I remember going back home. She was so pissed off at me. Like she knew like how much, you know, makeup, like I used to wear so much fucking makeup. I still do now, but you know, back then I love makeup. So she took everything from me. She took all of my makeup. She took the door off of my bedroom door, like the off the hinges and everything. She wanted leverage. She wanted to have control of that situation. Yeah. And,
I had my door taken off the hinges too. I told you you were my sister. And my windows nailed shut. It was crazy. Oh my God, she didn't do that. Well, I don't even think that I could even open up the windows all the way. I don't think she even had to do that. But she would also put like a tape recorder on the home phone because she
He would call, you know, either like he would call like three way or, you know, from jail or whatever, certain times. And, um, and she knew like, I don't know how she found out. I don't know if maybe like my cousin told her like, Oh, you know, Ashley's on the phone, you know, talking to him or talking to somebody. So she literally put a tape recorder on the phone to every single time she would leave the house, she would record every single one of my conversations and
And she would come back and she would ask me, Hey, was you on the phone? I'm like, no. And she's like, um, well, yeah, you were. And I never knew how she knew. And then I just ended up snooping around her room one day and found the fucking tape recorder. And there was like three tapes just laying there. And it was all of my conversations with him and just with, you know, my friends or with whoever. What a fucking weird bed. Yeah. Yeah. And she only did that with me. Like nobody else.
Yeah, she had a weird thing with you. Yeah. So you ended up getting brought home from that situation. When did you, like, what happens next? Like, did you get pregnant or did you get into the industry? I always call it the industry, but... Right. So after...
you know she grounded me right um she had a computer it was like in the living room and I remember um meeting a guy when I was like 12 years old at my grandma you know grandma grandpa's house um that was like my first ever like experience with any kind of like exchange for kind of you know goods for money or anything but I remember what what do you mean by that like what did you guys do
I'm like, wait a second. We're 12 and we're exchanging goods for money. What did we do? So when I was 12, I was on the internet and it was the first time, you know, first time was having a computer and the internet and stuff. So this is why it fucking scares me to death. We have a 13 year old on the internet. It just fucking scares the shit out of me, which actually Bailey wants to meet you. So I have got to get her over here so that she can meet you.
hold on you know what let me call Kayla really quick and just tell her to bring her straight over here okay so sorry I should have done that before you got here I just know that she will like be so mad if I don't it's it's crazy I never knew she was like a fan of you until I told her you were coming on the podcast she's like I love her and I was like thank god I was so happy though I was like yes like hey bugaluff um are you picking up Bailey right now
Uh, she don't get, she's at, um, theater. She don't get done till 530. Shit. I wanted her to meet Trashly cause Trashly's here doing a podcast and I know that she really likes her. Um, maybe I could bring her down to meet her later on tonight or something. I'll bring her to her hotel just to say hi or something. Yeah. All right. Love you. Bye.
Maybe I'll just bring her down and we can meet in the lobby and she can just say hi to you and hug you real quick. Okay, so 12, exchanging stuff for goods. Yes, okay. So I remember being on one of like the Ohio Infinite chat rooms and I was talking to this one guy and he was from New York. Oh God, chat rooms. Yeah, oh my God. Those were fun though. They were. I loved them. I was such a hoe in the chat rooms. I could be whoever I wanted to be, you know? Exactly. And...
I remember, you know, he was like 22 or 23 years old. And at first I did tell him I was 18. I was like, I'm 18. Men can tell. I don't care. If I see a 12 year old right now, I'm never going to look at a 12 year old boy. Right. You know, like I just could never. Well, I did tell him a couple of days later that I was 12. Yeah. Before we met and he was okay. It seemed like he was more okay with the fact that I was 12 and 18, which was really weird. Yeah. Yeah.
So we came up with like this, you know, plan to where he would meet me at the mall, like in the mall had, you know, the movie theater. So he would meet me at the movies. I would just tell my grandma, Oh, I'm just meeting a friend. So my grandma was a type to where she would have to meet every single person I was talking to, or, you know, I'm that way with our kid. Yeah. So, which it should be like that. Yeah. Um, and I remember telling her like, well, I'm meeting a friend. She's like, okay, well, I'm meeting this friend of yours. I'm like, Oh God. So I remember, um,
When she parked in the parking lot and I was walking in and my heart was beating so fast. I'm like, obviously she's going to know. Back then, there was no way of me to know what he looked like because there was no way of putting pictures on the internet. So he just described to me what he looked like.
which I knew it was him because he had a whole like beard and a mustache. And, you know, he just, I wonder if he was really 23. I don't know. Yeah. He was probably like a real creep. Probably God. But he had like a bouquet of flowers. And I was like, why the fuck did you do that? Typical pedophile move. They always bring a gift for the kid. And my grandma, like as soon as like he started walking up to me and she was like, wait a minute, who is this?
And I was like, it's my friend. And she was like, oh, no. She's like, who? She's like, how old are you? And he was like, oh, I'm 20, 23. And she's like, do you know how old she is? Like, she's only 12 years old. And he was like, oh, she said she was 18, which I did at first. But he knew. Right. So I just went along with it.
And so she was like, okay, well, he told her like, I drove all the way from New York. And she was like, okay, well, since you did that, then I'm going to go ahead and let you watch the movie with her. But I'm coming along with you guys.
So it was my grandma on one side, me in the middle, and then him on the left. And I'm like, this is so embarrassing. And toward like, you know, probably like 20 or 25 minutes into the movie, he was like, I'm going to the bathroom, you know, meet me there. Like he whispered that to me. I'm like, okay, look, my grandma's right here. So I acted like I just didn't feel good. I'm like, I just gotta go to the bathroom. She's like, she knew she was like, I'm coming with you. So she came with me.
And she stayed outside like, cause she just walked me to the women's bathroom. She just assumed that he wasn't in there, but he was in there. He went in the women's bathroom. He went into the women's bathroom and it wasn't like no door on there either. Like, you know, there was like four or five stalls in there. And, but he was the only one in there at the time.
And I remember when I walked in there, he motioned me to come back to where we're like the handicap stall, you know, the bigger stall. And so he's done this before. Yeah. Yeah. And he was like, well, what do you want to do? And I was like, I don't know, you know? And he was like, well, have you done anything like this before? I'm like, no. And, um, and he knew like, I never at that point, like I've never like kissed a boy. I never like done anything. So he was like, okay, well, um,
He was like, well, just stand there. Just don't move or anything. So he ended up putting his hands down my pants. And then he put his other hand in his pants. And I felt like that lasted for like three hours. But it was probably only like maybe like five or ten minutes. And I remember when he was done, you know, he ends up, you know, going to his back pocket and, you know, giving me a $20 bill.
And back then a $20 bill was, you know, I'm like, okay. Yeah. Back in our day. Yeah. You could buy a house with $20. So I'm like, okay. So he was like, well, you know, I'll let you leave first. And then, you know, cause my grandma was out there. So I leave and I was like, okay, well, I just want to, you know, go. And I guess she was like, well, what's wrong with you? Like there, I don't know. I don't know if maybe like my face was like red or just flustered. Yeah. She was, I was like, I just don't feel good. So, um,
you know, she was like, okay, we'll just go home. So I remember going home and, um, I had like a piggy bank and I put the $20 bill in there and, uh, I always got, you know, really good grades in school. So my grandpa would always pay me $20 for every a and $10 for every B. So I had money in there. So I just, you know, slipped it in there. They never knew. I never told anybody about it. So after that's a lot to hold in for a little girl, you know,
And amongst all the other shit you've had to hold in. Right. And my friend, like my so-called friends, you know, they weren't like, like me, like their situations were different. Like, yeah, they had like a nice, they had like real families. Yeah. Yeah. Like they had like nice families, mom and dad, you know? So I felt like, Oh, I'm not going to be able to tell them that. Cause they're not going to want to get it. Yeah. You know?
So I remember after, you know, my aunt coming to pick me up when I ran away with, you know, Paul, um,
I remember after I was grounded, maybe for like two or three weeks, I'm like, you know, I'm, I just, at this point, I just despised her just because I felt like she was targeting me. And, you know, her daughter was not, you know, she was doing drugs. She was popping pills. She was doing all this stuff. And I felt like,
you know, she would just let her do what she did. She let her do whatever she wants. But if I even breathe the same air air as her, like I would just, you know, get grounded or cussed out or something. So I'm like, okay, well, I'm just going to get on the internet. That's the only thing I could do was get on the internet. So I got on the internet and I got on, you know, the Ohio infinite chat room again. Um,
Worked out for you the first time. Yeah. So that's exactly what I did. I'm like, you know, I'm just going to, you know, talk to these guys or whatever. So did you have the intention of getting into the industry? I was just like, hey, I just want to make money. Or you just were like, I'm looking trolling for dick. So at first it was more so like I'm just like,
maybe looking for a hookup. Right. Just to get my mind off of. Just affection. Yeah. Yeah. But then after, like I was talking to my very, very first client and I was talking to him, you know, kind of talk to him on the phone, you know, God forbid, but I would, you know, message him. We, uh, at the time he had AOL messenger. So we were talking, you know, talking back and forth and,
um he was like you know what you can make like a lot of money doing what you're doing I said what am I doing exactly and he was like you can you know just meet guys off you know the chat rooms and everything was he a pimp well so I don't know if obviously he had to be something yeah to know a little bit of the game yeah but he wasn't mine like I never had a pimp or anything right but um
He was like, okay, well, I told him my situation. He knew about my aunt, me being grounded. Like, I couldn't do anything without my aunt being there. She would take me to school, pick me up. Like, I couldn't even ride the bus anymore. So he was like, okay, well, I'll just come pick you up, you know, and...
You know, I'll just pick you up right when she drops you off at school and I'll, you know, drop you back off at school before she comes, picks you up. I'm like, okay. So that's what he did. She drops me off at school. And I remember as I didn't even go to first, you know, first period. When you were 14 at this time. Yep. Okay. And I had a lot happen in that year. Yeah. And I had a note that I, you know, just wrote and I put my aunt's signature and I just said, you know, I had a doctor's appointment or whatever and I'll be back.
afterwards. So I, you know, put her signature on it and they didn't question me at all the first couple of times. And then she said the first couple of times so many times in like a month period. But I remember when I met him, he was like this older black man. And, um, you know, I, I
was you know kind of scared you know because he was older like when I say older he was probably like 50s yeah he had definitely been in the game before I'm sure and so I remember um
He drove back to his house, and it wasn't even that far. It was probably maybe 15 minutes from the school. I remember walking into his house, and I can still picture his house even to this day. I don't know why I can remember stuff like this. It was a big moment in your life. You were scared, too, so you probably were super aware. Yeah, and I remember we were talking for maybe two hours.
Before we did anything and he was telling me like, you know, you can you know chart he was telling me like, you know Tell me like what to do what not to do basically. So I remember him telling me a couple things He told me the first thing was to never ever do any services with black men
That's what he told me. Yep. And he's a black man himself. So I'm like, I'm confused, you know? So I didn't say anything. I'm like, okay. And he was like, um, don't exchange any, um, you know, don't services, anything for any kind of drugs. Don't do drugs with your clients. Um, yeah, he was for sure a pimp. Yeah. Yeah. And he, uh,
you know, and he was like, always make sure you get the money in your hand. He's like, I don't care, you know, whatever you guys can have a conversation, but before you remove yourself from that conversation, make sure you have that money in your hand. Absolutely. So, um, and that's what he did, you know, to me, he gave me, you know, the money, I think it was like maybe like $150. And, um,
And he told me, he's like, you know, you can charge a lot more just because you're young and, you know, you don't have much experience, you know, like you're, I don't know. Yeah. So, and I'm like, okay, well, I remember he was the one who introduced me to, I think like my next like three or four clients.
And they were, you know, older white men. And the fact that pedophilia runs this deep is just insane. Yeah. And they're just, you know, these are probably like married men with families with little girls of their own. Right. Yeah. Right. Makes you wonder. And I know like, you know, even, and he looked just like Samuel L. Jackson. That's how I remember. Yeah. Like he looks just like him. So, um, and he was married. Like I remember seeing pictures of his wife and kids on the wall and, you
I asked him, I'm like, is that your wife? And he was like, well, yeah, he's like, also he was like,
I remember him telling me after I asked him about his wife, you know, he was like, don't ever ask a client like, you know, about their family and stuff. I'm like, they'll just offer it up for you anyways. Yeah. It's crazy how honest these men are when they're paying for their time. Yeah. Shit. You don't want to know. You're like, okay, cool. Can we just get this over with? Like, I do not give a shit about Matilda at home. And I remember like that went on like for the first month, like after I had that first initial conversation with him, um,
He dropped me off, you know, back at school with my aunt. I was riding in the backseat. I wouldn't even ride in the front seat with my aunt because I just did not like her. So I was in the backseat and I kept thinking like I could just make enough money just to hurry up and save up whatever I have to and then move out. Yeah. So that was my initial plan. Obviously, that did not work. Yeah. Because I...
You know, he tells me you can charge this much, you know, don't charge anything less than, you know, 150 or like 200, you know, but then like when you're in that moment, you know, and these guys are like, well, I only got like 40, I only got $60. Like, Oh, I know. Okay. Well I did all, you know, came over here, you came to pick me up. Like I'm not going to leave without nothing, you know, so you take what you, what you get. So, um, it wasn't much money at all.
And I remember after maybe like the third or fourth client he introduced me to, that's when I found out that I was pregnant. So I remember like the last client saying something. He was like, it looks like your stomach is getting a little big. Because at the time I was...
you know, I, I wasn't small, but I was, you know, in shape or whatever, played softball and, you know, did kickboxing and everything. Don't you love how clients point out shit like that? And it's like, they're like the most out of shape, bald motherfucker. Oh my God. So crazy. Like they want to pick us apart. I've had so many tricks that were like that. I had one that was a sugar daddy who actually was like best friends with Donald Trump. If I said his name, people would know who he is and he would tear me apart. He paid for me to get my body done. Oh my
Oh my God. Yeah. Like they're evil. Like some sugar daddies and tricks are like really, it's crazy. They like to abuse women, but in like a weird way. Yeah. Like all sorts of ways, but that's one of them. Yeah. Right. So he said your tummy was getting big. Yeah. And I was like, uh, I didn't think anything of it. And I didn't,
Pregnancy never crossed my mind because after, you know, going to children's hospital, getting that supposedly rape test, my aunt made a doctor appointment the very next day and she got me on the depo shot. They did a pregnancy test and it was negative. So, you know, I was getting the depo shot every three months and I remember going in to, it was for my third depo shot. And I remember, you know, going in there and, um,
You know, I felt something move in my stomach, but I didn't know what the hell it was. And, you know, my aunt's like, oh, it's, you know, probably a disease. Like, that's what the fuck she thought. Like a disease. You know, of course she would think that. So she was hoping. Yeah, that's exactly what. Yeah. Just so she could hold it over your head. Yeah. Yeah.
I remember the doctor asking me like all these questions, like, is your boobs getting bigger or, you know, they hurting or, you know, or do you have like a weird appetite? Like all this stuff. And yeah, like my boobs grew from like a beach, like a double D cup in like a month. Wow. So,
but I just felt like I was just getting older and just, you know, blessed or something. She's like, I'm not going to complain about these knockers. So he was like, okay, we're just going to take a test. And my, my grandma was with me at the time. So I remember my grandma saying, oh my God. And he was like, no, we're just going to rule it out. We just have to do that. I don't think she is. We just got to rule it out.
So, you know, I take a test and I remember, you know, he comes back in and he throws his folder on the table and he was like, you're fucking pregnant.
And I'm like, oh, my God. I started crying. And my grandma was like, well, you know where we're going to go, right? Did you know who it was? Yeah. Was it a client or was it your baby? Yeah. So I knew that it was. Where was he during all this turning the tricks and stuff like that? So he actually...
I think either he either went to... He was out on bond for what he did to me. So I think at the time he was either like in Michigan or somewhere. So he stayed away from you just so he couldn't get in trouble. Yeah, because there was like an order for him to stay away. Like I can't put that order out. And so...
When they told me that I was pregnant, I just immediately knew like, okay, it has to be him. Like, obviously, like I did have sex and everything afterwards. But like, I just had sex like within a month and there's something moving in my stomach like that doesn't add up. So yeah, he was like, well, she may be way too far along before, you know, for an abortion. So he measured me and he was like, she's measuring at about seven months. And I'm like, there ain't no way.
So that happened maybe the first time you had sex? Yeah. Wow. Yeah, the very first time. I got pregnant the first time I had sex, too. See, that's crazy. I had an abortion, though. It fucked me up for the rest of my life, but it's another fucking podcast. Right. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah, and I remember that doctor, he was like, well, we're just going to make a doctor appointment.
Um, you know, with an OB. So we go to the OB and the very next morning and I was measuring at a little over, I don't know, I was pushing like 30 weeks and it was a boy and I was so devastated because I remember saying a couple of weeks later, a couple of weeks prior that I did not want any kids and I didn't want any boys, you know? I mean, you're still really fucking young too, dude. Yeah. And just suffered so much trauma. Yeah.
You know, I'm sure children shouldn't even be on a 14 year old's radar. Right. But we were just so eager to grow up too. Yeah. Because of our circumstances. That's so fucking true. And I, I remember coming back and, you know, it was so funny after that appointment, my aunt just started being nice to me. And like, she, um,
you know, was buying. I want to punch this bitch in the face. Oh, I did that. Good. Good. Because she is a cunt. Okay. Oh, she, what's her name? Tricia. Tricia. Most Tricia's are assholes. Sorry for all the Tricia's that listen to me. I love you guys, but most of you are dickheads. But I remember like she, she did buy everything, you know, for my son.
And she was looking forward to me having him. And I just wasn't like, I felt like I was just forced. Yeah.
And every time I would express myself to my aunt or to my grandma or to anybody, like I was just this horrible person. Like I shouldn't have, you know, I shouldn't think anything other than, oh, I can't wait to be a mom. Like I, you know, they, and they were very expressive of that. Like, well, I did it when I was 16, I was 17 and well, I'm 14. There's a big difference. There's a big difference. And I was raped. Like I did not, you know, there's a big difference. Yeah. There's just resentment there. Yeah. Yeah.
And I remember after I had my son, I tried... It's okay. This is hard. I mean, you've got a crazy story, Mama. So talking about stuff is probably still really painful. Yeah. You know, I tried to take care of him. You were a baby. You've got to stop being so hard on yourself for that. Nobody taught you how to be a mom, you know? Yeah. That's not your fault. And then...
For two years, you know, I tried to take care of them. I tried to... I did get a, you know, a job. I remember working at, you know, Burlington Co-Factory. And I was still in school. So, I would go to school, come home, go straight to work, come, you know, home from work, go to bed, and do it all over again. And so, my aunt would watch my son all the time. Well...
Then, you know, she started, you know, drinking really heavily and then, um, she just wasn't acting like she was just going like completely crazy. So, um, I remember coming home one day, my son, he was just learning how to walk and he had on, you know, a dirty diaper and I was so pissed off at my aunt. I'm like, what the, and she was completely wasted. So, um,
I grabbed my son, changed his diaper, and my aunt was just in my ear. Like, you're just going to be a piece of shit. Just like your brothers. You're not going to amount to anything. And I told her, I'm like, just shut up. You know? Like, when she gets into that mood, you know? Like, we just know either we don't say anything to her or we just tell her, shut the fuck up. And then she'll just shut up and go to her room. You know? But she wasn't going to her room. So she just was following me around the house. And...
I remember walking into the kitchen. I told her, I said, Trisha, get the fuck away from me because you're going to end up making me hit you. Don't please don't do that. And so she just like, you're just a piece of fucking shit. You're a piece of shit, mom. So I remember I had the, I had the refrigerator, refrigerator door open.
And she kept calling me a piece of shit mom because I would go out on the weekends all the time. I did not want to be home at all. But she encouraged it. She told me, I want you to go out. I want you to experience this teenage life. And don't worry about Cameron. He's at home with me. I'm taking care of him. I want you to, you know, still be a kid. That's exactly what she said. But every single time I would go out, she would always talk shit. So, yeah.
And she was talking shit that day. And I was like, just shut the fuck up. I'm like, please get away. So she just kept at it. And I shut the refrigerator door and I ended up, you know, punching her in the fucking night. And she called the police thinking that I was going to get arrested. Like she really wanted me to get arrested.
And the police already knew who she was. They knew my family because they would come out so many times because she would always be on a rage. Right. And so either one of the kids would call the police on her or her husband would. So they knew her, you know, they didn't even have to ask her social at that time. Like they knew, just knew. So they told me like, well, if your grandma's willing to take you, we'll just have you and your son just leave with her. So she's like, well, yeah, you know.
So I go moving with my, me and my son moving. How old are you at this time? I was 16. Okay. And so we moved in with my grandma. I was, you know, drinking all the time, not all the time, but you know, a lot. Yeah. And I was smoking weed. Um, and, but I was doing it with my aunt. She was supplying everything. And so as soon as I moved in with my grandma, she calls children's services and
tells children's services you know that I'm not taking care of my son and I'm going out all the time and I have drugs in my system and weed back then is not how it is today. Right. Weed back then is like was a huge deal. Yeah. Yeah. So I remember you know CPS coming out
And, um, I'm trying to think after that incident. Okay. After me punching my aunt or whatever, I got on probation, um,
Or either I was already on probation. I think I was on probation when I was like 13 or 14 before I was pregnant because I wasn't going to school. I refused to go to school. And so truancy. And so that's what it was. So I was already on probation because I remember a probation officer also coming too. And it's because of the truancy. So anyway, um,
The CPS worker asked me, like, you know, if we test you, are you going to come up dirty? And I was like, dirty for what? And she's like, well, anything. And I was like, well, for weed. I'm like, yeah, but that's nothing. And she's like, well, take a drug test. So I did take a drug test and it was positive for weed. And they took my son. They're like, no, like, you know, you can't be smoking weed, you know? And I'm like, it's just fucking weed. So, yeah.
They ended up, um, at the time, you know, they placed my son with my grandma, but my aunt was trying to get my son. Like she was like, no, he can come here. You know, my grandma, you know, my mom is just really old. She can't take care of him, blah, blah, blah. So they did a background check on everybody in the household. And, um, a year before the incident happened with me punching my aunt, she, um,
had sexual relations with a friend of mine and my cousin and which happened to be my son you know paul um his cousin and he was 15 16 years old at the time his mom finds out fucking mess dude she finds out she calls the police and my aunt gets in trouble and she has to register as a sex offender for 20 years finally some justice was served to her yeah yeah and so what
When they did a background check on everybody in the house, she's a sex offender. No, cameras aren't allowed around you at all. I'm supervised. So my grandma just wasn't... Wasn't ready to raise another kid. She just wasn't. And I can't really blame her. I can blame myself. So there was more than...
a few times that she left my aunt alone with them. And I don't know who called, I don't know how they found out, but they did. Yeah. And so they ended up taking my son and placing him into, you know, foster care. Did his father not want anything to do with them? So at the time when all this was happening, his dad ended up getting, um, sentenced to four and a half years for what he did to me. And then also like, you know, drug charges and all that stuff. Um,
because when my aunt got busted for sleeping, you know, with that kid, which was his cousin, um, Paul was there in the home. Like she literally moved out of her nice, you know, $350,000 home and got like this little inky dink home with this 15 year old, 15, 16 year old kid. Um, and my son's dad. And, um,
you know, they SWAT came and hit them. And so there was Coke and there was just, you know, stolen. She just got strung out. Yeah. Yeah. And so, um, he ended up getting sentenced to four and a half years. So he was in prison at this time. So when he, when my son went to foster care, I don't know how I got in contact with his mom, Paul's mom. I don't know if I reached out or I don't know if she reached out to me because Paul somehow found out what was going on. I don't know.
But I remember us talking and she was like, well, I can, you know, take him. Cause at this point I was telling her that I can't do it. Like, I feel like if I continue raising him, I'm going to fuck his life up. That's how I felt. Either I want to fuck his life up or my aunt's going to, and I just, I just don't want that. And she was like, yeah, you know, I'll be more than happy, you know, to take care of them. And at the time, um,
I thought that was what was best for him. Yeah. Um, I didn't really look at it as yours. You raised a son who raped me. Right. You know, I didn't look at it that way then, you know, cause I was thinking like, well, he was a grown man when this happened. She can't, you can't control what your grown children do. Um,
I don't, obviously my views are totally different now. Right. Well, I mean, you were a kid. Yeah. You didn't know any better, you know, no, but you had nobody to help you and guide you. That wasn't already traumatized or in some weird shit of their own, you know? So you were just a product of your surrounding. Yeah. And I remember, you know, what telling the CPS worker, telling the courts, I remember how to go to court and tell them what I wanted and
And, um, but right before I signed over my rights, Paul had already signed over his rights to her. So I remember the judge and CPS solely telling her that you are not allowed to have this child around Paul. Like that's just not, we're not, that's not negotiable. Like he's not allowed around him. Right. Um, she agreed. She initially agreed. And so as soon as I signed over my rights, that's when, you know, obviously, um,
She just didn't give a shit. Did whatever she wanted to do. Yeah. Um, I remember maybe a year later, um, well, it had to be maybe like a year and a half later or something. Um, I had gotten pregnant with my daughter, my oldest daughter. I had her, she was like maybe like two or three months. Who's the father? Um,
So it was just this random guy. He wasn't a client or anything. Right. He was just this random guy. Were you still working during this whole process? Yeah. You were still turning tricks and doing all that even while you had a regular job at Burlington Coat Factory? So I kept that job maybe for like a month. Right. Okay. Like that, I just couldn't do it. No, I get it. Once you start making money like that, it's so hard to work for anybody. Not only that, yeah. And I just don't like somebody
somebody telling me what to do. Yeah. Same. It's an Aquarius trait. I'm the same way. I'm like, um, I ended up quitting and I ended up getting in like my first, I had a client pay for, uh, my first apartment, but it was only like four months of rent. So he paid for like the deposit first four months of rent.
And after the four months, like I lost it because I didn't fucking keep up with it. Yeah. Because I'm just an idiot. So you're a kid. Yeah. And nobody taught you how to fucking be responsible. So during all of this, still dealing with all the personal trauma and all that stuff, were you just only smoking weed? When did you start getting into like the heavier shit? So I started like popping pills right before I got pregnant. But probably...
Shortly after I gave up my son. I gave up rights to him. Because I got pregnant with my daughter shortly after that. But at this point, I was already popping pills. Because I remember when I found out... While you were pregnant? No. So I remember when I found out I was pregnant with her. I was already addicted at this point. But I remember the day that I found out I was pregnant, I had a whole...
I had a whole bottle of Percocets I just got. And I remember throwing out the window and I just stopped then it was easy for me to stop back then. Well, you had a purpose. Yeah. So I remember, you know, after, um, like her dad just, you know, he, he just wanted them. He has like nine kids with like seven different women. Wow. He pays child support though, only because he works, you know, but like he doesn't have no relationship with her or anything. Right. Um,
And I remember, um, like she was at this, at this point during my pregnancy, um, I had, you know, got my GED and I was in nursing school. So, um,
I remember I was sitting in a class and they were talking about calling in prescriptions, you know, nurses and medical systems can call them prescriptions for their patients. And you can only call in like Vicodin's, you know, like Percocets, you had to have like a prescription that, so I'm like, okay. So, um, I had an aunt who did this, so I totally know what you're talking about. So, um, I'm like, okay. So during my pregnancy, I couldn't
I mean, I could still prostitute it, but I just didn't want to. So I decided to call in scripts for people. And start flipping scripts. I used to sell pills all the time. I would get my pills and sell them. My blue war tabs for $5 a pill. Motherfuckers, what you want? I got you. Or the yellow perks for $10. What do you want to do? That's exactly how it was. And after I gave birth to her, I started calling them in for myself. You know?
And, um, I remember, you know, the last time that I seen my son was like, she was two months old and, um, Paul ended up, he got out of prison and he calls me. He's like, Hey, do you want to see Cameron? I was like, well, yeah. And, um, he's like, okay, well, I'll come pick you up. You got to see him up here. So he picks me and my daughter up and we go to his house. As soon as I walk into his house,
there was like three kids there. Okay. I want to say kids are probably like 12, 13 years old. There was two guys and a girl and, or no, there was two girls and a guy. And so I'm like, who are these? You know, who, who are they? And he's like, Oh, they're just my friends. Well, blah, blah.
friends my friends he tried to play it off to where they're 18 they're of age right but you can just I can tell yeah those are young you know like mental capacity they're they're young so for sure he leaves like a pic you know either cameron up at school or the bus stop or something so I asked one of the girls I said do you have an idea on you like I'm just curious you know because I felt super fucking uncomfortable they were drinking smoking weed doing other shit and
And she was like, no, we don't have an ID, but he told us to tell you that we're 18. And I'm like, well, how old are you? And she's like, well, I can't really say. I'm like, okay. I bet you already said enough. Right. Well, kind of find out. She, I remember hearing, like I stayed the night there and she was on the phone with Paul and she,
um I remember her telling Paul I'm pregnant or I think I'm pregnant and he was like well you better tell you know tell your family that you told me that you were 18 you know tell them that I didn't know that you were either he said Paul's just a pedophile yeah yeah absolutely so um
I just put two and two together and I just, you know, Cameron came, I tried to spend time with them, you know, like I fixed some dinner. I remember fixing them two hot dogs and some macaroni and cheese. And he ate like, I just felt super uncomfortable with those fucking kids there. And I was like, man, I was like, can they just leave or something? Like, I'm just confused why they're even here. And he was like, he thought that I was mad, like jealous or something. I said, no, dude, like what has nothing to do with it.
And, um, I'm like, look, you're just going to have to take me back at this point. Like, I just, I don't want nothing to do with whatever, whatever the hell's going on here. And like, I just don't, there's something not right. So he gets pissed and he's like, okay, well then let's just go then. So, uh,
me I loaded you know my kids up Cameron and you know my daughter and um I told him on our way down there I'm like well I'm just gonna take Cameron with me and he was like you can't fucking do that you already signed your rights over and if you do that I'm just gonna call the police and blah blah blah and I was yeah call the police with underage kids in your house right right
So I'm like, okay, well at this point, like I was already like, I had already gotten caught for, you know, doing my little pill rendezvous. So I was like, you know, already about to get sentenced and I just knew what the time, what kind of time I was looking at. And I, were you a full blown addict at this time or? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Just pills though. Nothing. Just pills. Yeah. Did you ever do harder drugs?
Not until like 2016. Okay. Gotcha. So did you get sentenced to time for the pill thing? So I got sentenced to seven mandatory years. Wow. Yeah. I had, they, they threw the book at you. Yeah. So it was, I think like four different counties, but they, I called it a shit ton of scripts. I was going to say, you were like kingpinning over there. Yeah.
Because my aunt got a slap on the wrist and like her nurse's license taken away. Yeah. Yeah. That's what they told me. They told me that I couldn't, you know, because they knew that I was in nursing school. Like I couldn't finish it. Yeah. License like no nothing. So. So you did your seven years. I did my seven years. Seven years. And was it prison or was it like juvie? It was prison. OK. So what is that like? Well, so I remember.
right before I got rode out to prison, people were telling me how prison was, you know, and it's not what they, what they were telling me. I, they were, I think they were just talking shit, trying to scare me or something, but it, it, it's literally like a whole, um,
Like gay community. That's just what it is. Right. On campus. Everybody's just munching carpets. Yeah. I mean, you got to do some to pass the time. And like, I didn't have any issues in prison. Like I, you know, worked, I had a routine. I stayed sober during prison and. Are drugs pretty rampant in prison? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Yeah.
It's really bad. But also you have to have a lot of money too, you know? So, um, and I didn't have that obviously. Like I lived off of $20. Thankfully though. Yeah, that that's true. Um, but I lived off of $20 a month. Well, actually 18 cause they took $2 for my, you know, fines. Yeah. Um, but I, during those years I had to have not one single person come visit me. No, nobody, right. You know, uh,
me a letter who had your daughter during this time my um other aunt so not my aunt trisha okay my aunt no but um my other aunt she was married to my uncle years ago but they got divorced years ago but i still consider her an aunt i still talk to her you know every now and then today
Um, so she agreed to take care of her while I was in prison. Yeah. Um, she said, I have to have guardianship so I can get her into school and take her to the doctor. Yeah. She's like, but as soon as you get out, I'll give her right back to you. So seven years goes by and you get out, I get out. And, um,
you know, I was in a halfway house, you know, for four months. I immediately started doing prostitution again, immediately. You just go back to what you know. Yeah. And they weren't drug testing you. Not, well, they were doing random drug tests, but, um, for some reason they never drug tested me. Um, if they did drug tested me, then I was clean and they just never, you know, right. Did anything about it afterwards. Um,
But that, you know, back then, you know, the halfway house is literally like a legal trap house. Yeah. For real. Yeah. When you were turning tricks or you weren't doing it online anymore, where were you finding your tricks? So when I was in the halfway house, I was in this program called Impact. So I would leave Monday through Friday from like eight to four. So, yeah.
Um, prostitution was really big on the street that my halfway house was on. Gotcha. Like there was so... So you were turning, turning tricks like just from in cars and stuff like that. Yeah. I would have like an hour, like either from like 12 to one or one to two, um, break for lunch. And I would...
make some money, you know, hurry up. Cause I, at this point I was already, you know, doing pills again. So I needed money for pills. Um, so my hat goes off to the girls who would do the car tricks. We caught, we used in Vegas, we call them track hose because they would walk the track, you know, and I hung out on the track a lot just because it was low key. And I've always felt comfort in like, um,
places that were just like seedy, you know, like I've just always, so I would wait for calls for my, cause I used to work for services. So, and I never had a pimp either. So I would like wait for my calls, like on the track. And I, some of the coolest chicks I ever met were the girls who worked the track and they've given me so much game. Like you guys are a different breed of woman. Yeah.
You guys are not, you're fucking brave as shit, you know, like to even just get in a car with somebody and just like, it's just crazy. Yeah. So turning tricks on, you know, on your, was it a lunch break? Yeah. Did you ever have anything like crazy happen to you? Yeah. So my first ever, like ever incident of like anything was, um, okay. So I'm trying to resort right back to that time. Cause I knew you was going to ask me about that.
When did Dave come along? If you guys watch any of her TikToks, you know that Dave makes a daily appearance and he's got some really fucking weird requests.
But you know what? I relate to everything you say. Like shit you say, I start laughing because I'm like, yep, done that. Yep. Been there. Yep. Done that. You know, like they don't realize how crazy some of these tricks get. Yeah. Like they're buying your time to live out a fantasy and some of their fantasies are fucking crazy. Yes. But it became normal. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's like, oh, you did that? I'm like,
Oh yeah, no, for sure. I'm confused. Yeah. But, um, I remember going to, going to lunch, um, and I met this guy. He, I always saw his car out there, you know, in front. So I knew he was a trick. So, um, I went up to his car and, um, he, I, you know, went to the passenger seat. We exchanged money. He gave me money and he was like really nice. He drove maybe like 10 minutes down the road, um,
And then I was like, okay, well, I got to be back by a certain time, you know, because I, my lunch break. He's like, okay, that's fine. So after we were done, he started driving back, but he missed,
You know, his turn. I was like, wait a minute. You're supposed to turn right, right here. And he was, he didn't say nothing. He didn't say nothing. He just kept going. So I was about to reach for the handle and there was no fucking handle on the inside of the door. And I was like, what the fuck is happening right now? And I didn't even realize there was no fucking handle right there. And so I remember he just kept, he didn't say one word to me. Like his complete, like his whole demeanor just changed.
So he ended up going to, I don't know where the hell it was, but it was out in the middle of nowhere. All I remember was like there were storage, you know, storage units. And stay tuned to next week's episode to see what happens in part two of dumb blonde podcast.