DADDIES IN AUSTRALIA!!
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Because I stay in this no matter what's going on. There might be a perpendicular. Maybe just a quick hit. That's the most you're getting from me is like one of these. I'm either here, frontal plane, or I'm like here. Or I'm like here. Guys. Girls. Cool. First thing I noticed, this room's really like...

Acoustic. Yeah. Like cushioned. I noticed that when I went to use the toilet, obviously they play music outside and obviously it's double doored. So when I closed the first, I was thinking I'm hearing a little bit. So I closed the second, I was thinking vacuum. Yeah. It's vacuum. It's scary. Cause I'm not, I'm used to hearing a bit of reverb. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So guys, we're in Australia, Australia, and it's hot here.

It's the hottest place I think exists. I think it's this and then the seventh circle of hell. Yeah. They're about neck and neck. Yeah. Yeah. The other day we were at the pool and I literally saw my skin burning before my eyes. Yeah. I had a red, like my arm was completely red from here to here. That's never happened in my life. It's too hot. It was 40 degrees yesterday, I believe. Yeah. Yeah. Broski and Uber driver, um,

told us that there's a town in australia a woman going to the gym in the summer yeah it's like 50 51 every day yeah and he said it's 40 degrees minimum at night at night it's as cool as it gets that's why they sent prisoners here yeah that's what they were hoping yeah what's gonna happen back a day yeah just burn yeah just burn we can't actually send you to hell but his yeah that's the closest thing this is as hot as you're gonna regret your actions

Jesus. Damn. Yeah, man. But it's cool though. It's very cool. It's really nice. We're in Perth right now. Yeah, man. And there's like four people that live here. Yeah. It's quiet. It's quiet. It reminded me of... It reminded me of... I'm not gonna lie. When we first landed, it reminded me of From. Yeah. Because all the... Either From or the Truman Show. Because all the shit is like... The buildings look pristine, but they look like...

movie set. And then we saw like three people. There was nobody about. In the city centre. In the city centre, yeah. Those were the actors. Those were the actors. It's like a low budget dreamer's joke. The extras was mad. But I've never, it reminded me like, not reminded me, but it just made me realise that damn like, England's a bit too busy. Even though it's small. Way too busy. England has like more than twice the population

I think I just clocked I think someone reported 72 million is the current population of England really I'm pretty sure he's like 25 so it's three times as many people in England or in the UK as there are in Australia Australia is like 10 times bigger wow so you can just walk down the street and there's no one there nobody you're just chilling I asked the barber today do you guys get traffic here and he said nah nah everything's smooth I was like fair play fair play yeah

It's like you can say that with confidence because everyone, you'd assume everyone has their own version of traffic. So even though you might think that it's traffic, it's not what we're used to as traffic. But to just say, nah, nah, bro. I've seen traffic in A and here. Yeah, this ain't traffic, bro. Damn. Smooth sailing. Get to A to B leisurely. Yeah, whatever Waze says it's going to take is exactly how long it takes. It's going to take that. If not sooner. In fact, there's no red lines on Waze. That's crazy. No red lines. Just follow the blue. Yeah. No need for alternative routes. Yeah.

Similar ETA, just take whatever you want. Whatever you want to do, do, bro. Damn. Yeah, man. Yeah, pass quiet, boy. Must be nice. Yeah. Must be nice. We had a nice restaurant last night. We did. We really did. It's called Six Head. It is called Six Head. It's a top tier restaurant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. I feel like, yeah, I feel like it's called Six Head for a reason. Because when she takes that steak...

Yeah, line up your top six dons. You know that trend where people were in McDonald's and they're like, who the fuck made this? Who the fuck made this chicken? Who made this chicken? Bring him out right now.

That's how far I was like Yeah Yeah Romita 6 John Don That made the steak That made the steak Yeah Because it tastes sweet and salty At the same time It doesn't make sense He said he had that honey Yeah It tasted like it had Honey glaze And it didn't It didn't Bro it didn't make sense Oh yeah It was shining It was shining It was soft That was a fillet If I've ever seen one If I've ever seen one I've never seen a fillet So thick in my life

wow it was good yeah man good food yeah six heads where it's at bro six head is good i need to eat there again tomorrow but yeah we've got our show tomorrow so this is while we're recording this is his pre first show of the tour we've been here for like five days we landed on sunday afternoon and today is friday so yeah five days oh yeah let's talk about the flight it's also felt like eternity that we've been here as well yeah can i say something of course i'm

daddy's bored james um i've been in my room a lot of the times and just been on my phone and being so idle just so idle and i'm like damn but i think the first day you tried to google um top golf and it didn't exist it didn't exist yeah that that hurt me like they've got land for it

That should be the first thing on their menu. To be fair, I saw Donnie on TikTok promote some golf thing. I can't even remember if it was Perth, but it wasn't called Topgolf, it was called something else. But same, same. You know when they have a thing and you hit the ball into it and it does a simulated thing. He was like, you have to stay in here because it's too hot out there to do the driving thing. And I was like, well, that's just pointless then.

So that's why I didn't even mention it. Okay. I'm not staying inside hitting some piece of curtain. I need to see distance. Valid. You can't really play games with that as well. Yeah. Like different types of games. That's boring. But yeah, the flight was about 17 hours. Yep. It was, how do I explain? What is the English word for it? That's what solitary is.

If Solitary came with Alien Romulus on the TV, that's exactly what it would be. Aviation Solitary is exactly what that is. And Human...

At certain points, the ride was bumping. Yeah, the clouds were clouding. The ride was bumping, bro. Wow. And for some reason, Qantas, they don't tell you to put your seatbelt on for shit. They don't care. They say you do what you want. Yeah. Any other airline, British Airways, they're pussyholes. Virgin, they're pussyholes. Any slight bump, toilets closed. Put your seatbelts on. Bro, these men, the whole cabin was shaking. And I was waiting to see. Bro, take off.

I don't know if you could see from your side, but on my side, obviously I was on the right aisle, you were on the left. On the right aisle, takeoff before it like found its perfect altitude, two doors open adjacent. What? Just swinging, brother. Just swinging. Yeah. Not like main doors. You know doors where they put- Oh, like food and shit? Food stuff, yeah. They were just swinging open. Oh, God. Yeah. Really? Yeah. I was just looking at it like, isn't anyone going to deal with this? Yeah, nah. Yeah.

Bro, yeah. They were very laissez-faire and the landing was shaky. I was staring at you. Every time it dropped like 5,000 meters or whatever. It's like he refused to let the nose dip. So he's just like, I'm just going to turn the engine off and let it glide. Yeah, just let it glide down once. He was playing with us. Yeah, he was. But I watched so much shows. Yeah. Pretty much all of my bank of shows was depleted by the end of that. Yeah. Caveat, there was no Wi-Fi.

That's a crime as well. Yeah. 17 hours, no Wi-Fi and the stewards acted as if this is normal. And I couldn't fucking believe it.

Bro, I was pretending not to eavesdrop when you asked the steward guy about the Wi-Fi. I was pretending like I couldn't hear you. I was refreshing my Wi-Fi, just waiting for him to say which one it was so I could be first up. Bro, I heard him say, no, sorry. And I was like, I couldn't respond. I just had to let him walk away. I couldn't respond because I couldn't believe it. And like everyone else on the flight was just like, yeah, this is our flight. This is how we roll.

No Wi-Fi. No Wi-Fi, bro. Yeah, bro. I was struggling. I was playing chess against a bot for hours. And it was Lee Chan. She's Elo 2000, bro. She was murking me and I just kept doing it because I was so bored. Yeah, man. I depleted a lot of my... I was watching a lot of anime. I caught up on... Well, I say caught up. I re-watched half of Severance season one. I watched... Well, we watched Castlevania. Castlevania is crazy good.

I need to watch season one again because season one was really good man you were saying in confidence that it's better than season two a couple people no no no I said I preferred it there's a difference no in your opinion it's better than I preferred the no I said I preferred the end fight of season one to the main fight of season two

But as a whole, I think season two is better because I enjoy the application of everyone's skills better in season two. If that makes sense. Yeah. Richter was on scary, scary levels. Maria was arms. Yeah. Maria was actually arms. I'm glad she came arms because season one, she was pointless to me. Yeah. She was only releasing tiny little birds. She was one baby tiger. Yeah. I was thinking this is irrelevant. Do you know who pissed me off throughout season one of season two?

Let me guess. Who could have pissed you off through season one and season two? Drolta? The gay knight? No, I think his character was pretty cool. Yeah, his character was cool. Yeah, his character was pretty cool. Yeah, yeah. Old drugs was cool as well.

It's not Alucard. No. It's not Richter. No. His granddad? No, he was heavy. Yeah, I was going to say, he's cool. Wait, the fucking pastor, whatever it is? Nah. He was a waste man. He was a waste man. He deserved to die. Spoiler alert. He deserved to die. Maria? Nah, she was cool. She's cool. I'm naming everyone. Wait, damn. Who could have pissed you off? I want to land it. The Black Ting? Yeah.

No, she was heavy. She was heavy. I can't remember her name, but she was heavy. I know exactly. The Penny's joke. Edouard, singing his heart out from season one to end of season two. Yeah, he's a dickhead. Waste of animation. I'm not sadistic.

If you man up what season one is into a castle, you know, Edward was a waste of time. He's a fucking prick. He's a waste of time. I hate him. I really hoped that they deaded that hole trying to save him in season one. Yeah. And just move on from him. Bro, the whole build up with the night creatures, him trying to manipulate the night creatures to turn on the other night creatures. Yeah.

was so irrelevant on Puddles because even when they did do it, it didn't impact anything. Literally nothing. It didn't impact anything. He was a wasted character. It's exactly like when I said a few weeks ago, I was caught up with Freeren and I was talking about Stark, the guy with the axe. They built him up for no reason. They built him up for no reason. He's just a useless character. Yeah. He was so pointless, man. Bro, Edouard and his singing chops, bro, were pissing me off so much. And I didn't understand how, like,

They deeped him. Like they deeped him that it was actually him. Yeah. But he only relinked with them after the whole season is done. I was thinking, you've been letting your boy chill with the night creatures for two seasons. And not one time have you gone in there to save him.

You just let him sing. Bro, it's... You might have crossed paths with him bare times. Bare times. And you realise he's got a soul. Yeah. So run him back. Or he hasn't tried to come back. It was long, bro. It was... That, I agree with. It was the most long and pointless shit I've ever seen. I didn't like it at all. I hated his character. Same. Hated his character. Always singing for no reason. No reason. That's his only recourse, a lot of justice or whatever. It was useless. It was useless. So, yeah. So...

I watched all of that. That was heavy. I watched all of the industry. Heavy. Actually heavy. There's a guy called Rishi on there. He loses his mind. Is this the gambler guy? Yeah, he loses his mind. And he bangs the main character on his wedding night in a cubicle. On his wedding night? On his wedding night. He moves away from the wedding just to get some fresh air. And bangs her. What's her face?

Can't remember her name now. But anyway, it was nuts. Damn, fair play. Yeah, that show is actually pretty good. Okay. Season three, I didn't know what to expect. Season one was cool. Season two was a bit like... Season two had a few of the failures that a lot of season twos have. Okay. They're like... Dragon storylines type of thing. Dragon storylines. We're trying to make it different, but not too different. And all this kind of shit. And you're a bit like...

I don't know. It's not hitting. Yeah, it's not hitting. Season three came hard. Okay. Yeah, season three was very hard. Fair play. So I'm gassed with that. Industry, top tier show. Fair play. Strongly advise watching it. Fair play. You've seen Succession, right? Of course. Okay, cool. Yeah. Yeah, you'd like it. Okay. Really, really good. And what else did I watch? Alien Romulus. Good movie. Mm-hmm.

Exact same film. Eight times in a row, nine times in a row. How many times has it been now? Yeah, I don't know why they keep doing that. Yeah, it has to be charged. I don't understand. There must be some form of contract in the movie industry or series industry where they just repeat shit. There is actually. Is there? It's not a contract, but basically... Obviously not a contract, but there's something. I was listening to an interview with maybe Vince Vaughn or someone, and they were talking about IP.

And they were saying most movie studios, because the risk is too high now and the budget is too high. Yeah. That unless it has IP pre-existing IP, no studio will take up anything. So it has to be a sequel or in a game adaptation or a book adaptation, something that they're like, it's got on the return. And,

Well, I feel like the opposite ends up happening. Yeah. Because then you've got shit like Matrix Revolutions or whatever. Yeah. Which is the worst. I've never seen that. I never will. It's the worst movie I've ever seen. I'm never going to watch it. Somehow, my brother enjoyed it. Really? Yeah. It spun me in terms of how I feel about him as a person. Yeah. I was thinking, that's the worst thing I've seen. Yeah. And you were like, nah, it was good. It was good. I was like, bro, it's bad.

bad like it's objectively bad so yeah that's why a lot of movies are just dead now bro okay that's very jarring very very jarring and you said Nosferatu is dead that's terrible that's probably the most waste of time money and petrol I've spent in my life two hours I'm never getting back I feel like everyone in the cinema felt the same feeling I think when credits rolled I could hear a resounding one of them ones it was like thank god it's over

Fuck. Yeah, bro. Do you even think that they achieved what they were trying to achieve? I can't say because I've never seen the original. I've never really been a Nosferatu fan or whatever. It was just one of those ones. Okay, this is a horror slash thriller. Let me watch it. Let me judge. But I can't say because, again, I've not seen the original. That's how I felt about The Green Knight.

The Green Knight with the guy from Monkey Man. I can't remember his name now. Oh, Patel? Is that Dev Patel? Dev Patel. Dev Patel, yeah. The Green Knight? He plays like some fucking medieval knight, Brer, who... It's so shit, I haven't even got the breath to tell you the storyline. Fair enough, fair enough. I don't have the breath or the energy, bro. Fair enough. It's dead. Fair enough. And I watched it. I think I watched it on a plane. I think I watched...

Monkey Man on one flight and was like, that's unreal. And then I thought, you know what? Let me give the Green Knight a chance. This dev's doing so much. Wow. That's an adaptation of an old thing. I don't know what the fuck it is. It's bullshit. Okay. It's a waste of two hours. Okay. But yeah, anyway, back to Oz. It's hot. It's steamy. Haven't been to the beach. Oh, we did go to the beach.

Well, on the island. On the island. Oh, yeah, yeah, that's what I was going to say. We went to Rottnest Island. Is that what it's called? Rottnest Island. Rottnest Island, yeah. That bitch is hot. Yeah. I'm not going to lie. The flies. The flies. The flies on Rottnest Island. Considering it's a tourist spot. Yeah. Don't know how to act. Yeah. They don't move like they've been here before. Yeah. They've seen man before. Yeah, they're hungry out there, man. When you said they think I'm shit. They think I'm shit. Yeah.

Yeah, that was really funny I was saying the other day After that Right let me give a story right so Obviously we went as I didn't yes, this island is like 40 minutes on the ferry Yeah, I haven't been on a phrase since I was a kid same 40 minutes on the ferry from Perth to this little island thing, but they've got these little rat creatures and

And the little quokka things. And we saw a whole two of them. And then we get there and there's flies galore. And then the plan was to ride around the island on e-bikes. Yeah, the e-bikes were sold out. So we got normal bikes. And I was like, yeah, gang, it's whatever. Exercise, we need the cardio anyway. And there's gears on this drone, so it should be fine. Yeah.

Needless to say, 15 minutes in, we'd hit our limit. Yeah, we'd hit our wholesome limit. The sun took everything from me. Everything. So we went to one beach to cool off. We cooled off. And I think we made it about 35 seconds before we had to hit the second beach to cool off. And that one was, I refused to take my shoes off again. Because you didn't want to do all that. The amount of time it took to get the sand off my feet, to put my shoes back on after the first stop off, I was like...

Hell or high water, I'm not taking these shoes off again. I'm not going through that again. And I felt vindicated on the first beach as well. Why? Because I'm tired of Megan and Penny being gaslighters. Yeah. Because they say stuff.

with such confidence and authority that I'm supposed to believe that it's true and I feel like the dickhead by being like I don't know I feel like there's snakes there or I don't know I feel like there's jellyfish there and Megan was like there's no jellyfish there and Pete was like jellyfish jellyfish do you see any do you see jellyfish and I was like they're translucent

I wouldn't see it anyway. And they were like, shut up, man. And then they galloped in the water. Yeah. And one thing sprung over. I was like, careful, there's jellies in there. She said there's stingers. Yeah, there's stingers in there. She called them stingers. I was vindicated. I tiptoed out. I was never in. I was never in that fucking water. I was like, yeah, gang. And then what pissed me off even more is that they're like, yeah, I don't fucking know, do I? I was like, you just told me with such confidence.

Their optimism is so high. Yeah, it's way high. They live life carefree. Yeah, yeah, 100%. Their optimism is so high that I'm pretty convinced that if they did get stung by a jellyfish, they'd be like...

Well, if this has happened, then that means it can't happen for us to return. That was like, that wasn't one in a million. Yeah. Lightning doesn't strike twice. So if I got stung this time, now I might as well just swim in. Swim in, because yeah, they're not going to touch me again. All the other jellyfish know I'm taken now. I've been stung. They marked me. They marked their territory. Soul bond. Yeah. So yeah, that pissed me off. And then when we were riding, the flies were getting crazy. Oh,

And they only like this area. Yeah. The ears and the mouth. That's all they're here for. So that pissed me off as well. And then the thing that made me laugh the most is that when we were on our wit's end, I look back at you and your head was down like that. Firas' head was down on the ground, Brandon's one like that. He said, he said, wait, he said, my nape...

Oh my god. Ape is fucking killing me. Bro, it was. I couldn't raise my neck anymore. I was tired, brother. I was so tired. You know what pissed me off and made me laugh about it is, yeah, you do this thing that when you learn a word, you have to use it. No one has ever, no one has ever, before Attack on Titan, no one's ever called out the nape. Fair. And I said, my nape's fucking killing me.

Oh, bro, when I say I laughed so hard on my bike that my whole body got goosebumps and I was shaking. I was trying to pedal to the garage and I was shaking. Fuck, man, it took my breath away. I thought I was going to pass out. I was living, bro. Your head was hanging, bro. It was, bro, wit's end. Wit's end, bro. It was mad. It was the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life. Man, it's like my nape's fucking killing me. It was murks, bro.

It was a really, really humbling experience, a unique experience. And it reminded me of when I went on holiday with my mum. When I was a kid, we went to Italy one time. And...

Fuck, that was funny. And she booked all these day trips. Yeah. And I met all these English kids in our hotel. Okay. Throughout the holiday. And their moms weren't making them do any fucking day trips. And in hindsight...

my mum was the good mum because she took us to Venice to Florence and some other places as well places that you should see in your life yeah yeah yeah I say it was boring yeah I can imagine and then when I say as a child yeah as a child bro Venice stinks so I arrived and all the gondolas and everything they stunk yeah and I was like fuck this and the hotel would prepare like lunch packages for you okay and it was like cheese sandwiches

I hate I don't like cheese like that it was cheese sandwiches and like ready started Chris okay and like it was just the worst thing I've ever experienced it was like a school trip packed lunch yeah it was like a really budget school packed lunch damn and my mum my mum opened the thing and said wow

And I was like, so obviously McDonald's, isn't it? She was like, nah. We're going to eat what we're given. We're going to eat what we're given. Yeah, I paid for the package. So we're going to eat these sandwiches. It was the worst thing. And when I say after about half an hour getting dragged around Florence, I felt exactly how I did on Rottenness.

My nape was killing me. I didn't want to look up. I couldn't stand it anymore. I was begging, man, please. Please, what time is the coach? And when P said the ferry home is at five. Bro, I looked at my watch, it was 12.30. I was depleted. I was thinking we've got three and a half hours of this. Can I say something in confidence? Yeah. When we went to the second beach and I saw these men get back into their bikinis. Yeah.

I was, I swear to God, I swear to God, I was going to say, I'm not going to lie to you, I'm going to dip. Guys, I'm sorry. You man, I'm going home. I'm going home. I can't do this anymore. And I didn't want to be a buzzkill buzzer. You man, I'm going to go. There's nothing anyone can say or do. And I don't even want you man to get dressed. Just do your thing. Have fun.

But then fuck this! Because I can't stay until 5. I won't make it. I wouldn't have made it. My water was hot. By the time the island was done with me. My water was hot. Oh my god. I'd never go in there again.

But it was worth the experience. It was worth the experience. That was the only Australian thing that I felt like I've done. Yeah, valid. Very valid. But fuck that place. The hottest place on earth. Boiling. And apparently Megan said it was 10 degrees cooler than mainland. Really? Yeah. It felt 20 degrees hotter. It's because we were cycling all day, bro. Bro. We were done for.

Absolutely done for. Question of the week? Question of the week, man. Alright guys, as you know, we do a question of the week every week and this week's question of the week is: What's the worst piece of advice you've received to spice things up? This was a unique question. This was a unique question. Alright, cool. Alright. Sometimes you just gotta take a finger in the ass like a champ.

Like a champ. Someone advised her of this. I'm assuming her. A breath. Send this to another breath. Damn. Like a champ. Like a champ. Or scare me. I'm pretty convinced that like girls of this day and age really do just want to like put a finger in there.

Out of just curiosity or... Just to spice it up. Literally. Because they're down, bro. I think we actually hold... We are holding back progression. Yeah, we are. In sex. The male species are, yeah. Yeah, because you're not doing it. You can't surprise me like that. Yeah. Bro. Because she's ruined everything. Yeah, yeah, exactly. But I'm thinking about like... I'm pretty sure the Romans were kinkier than us. Probably valid. Because they've got like...

cutouts of them man doing stuff on walls innit yeah and these times 2025 don't touch my body the gal I think the Romans can never hear this yeah what is this bro the Romans can never hear this yeah what's going on that's entry level literally that's entry level and I can't even touch it yeah test the waters yeah nah it's boring it's not everyday penis penis penis sometimes finger finger finger yeah let me finger you I couldn't hear that

She grabs me by the scruff of my neck. Let me finger you. Let me finger you. No, that's scary. That's the scariest thing I've ever heard. Yeah, 100%. Right. Worst piece of advice you've received to spice things up. My homegirls told me to randomly pop up at his house because guys like crazy girls. He called the police on me and stayed on the phone with them until I left. Until I left. He was petrified. Yeah, yeah, facts. Yeah, she's still here. She's still here. Her icon's like, hurry up. She's still here.

That's hilarious. That's fucking funny. What's the worst piece of advice you received to spice things up? Look him up and down, then meow. He barked. Imagine. No. Meow, then he barked. I was going to reenact the meow. I'm not doing that. I'm just going to move on to my next point. I'm not actually going to do it. That would get clipped. Yeah, 100%. I'm not even going to bother doing it. Right. Worst advice you received to spice things up? I heard a friend tell his bird to get a third. She ended up leaving him for him.

Follow on. Get a third person involved. All it did was give me the chance to disappoint two women. Give me the chance, you know? Yeah, give me the opportunity. To disappoint two women. Oh, he's never recovering. That's actually... Someone said this on TikTok the other day. I literally saw a thing on TikTok the other day. It was like a guy was ranting. Okay. He had a drink in his hand and he was ranting. And he was saying... He had a threesome. It was the worst thing. Oh, yeah? Yeah, he said like...

Knotted in two pumps in a threesome. Literally, what a waste of time. It's a waste of everyone's diary. Everyone's facts, bro. I had to put this in my calendar. A threesome, knotted in two pumps. What can you actually do? You can't bring it back. I'll cry. What would you actually do, though? Is one of them my girl or they're just both independent? No, no, no. One can't be your girl.

Because the third one is just looking at you going like, is this what you're dealing with? Yeah, and then obviously I have to jump in and defend my girl. Yeah, exactly. And you have the goal to bring me in. You must have known this was going to happen. Who was this benefit? Was this a test? To see if we'll get three pumps? Oh, it would piss me off. It would piss me off. I would assume it's a social experiment.

Okay, so they're two independents. Two independents, yeah. And I'm not in two pumps. Realistically, I'm seeing it in a hotel room. Yeah, yeah, rags. I think I'll go in the toilet and just not come out. Is it your room? It's my room. Oh, if it's not my room, I'm leaving. If it's their room, I'm just dipping. Okay, cool, cool. If it's my room, now you've said, I think I'll get a new room. I think I'll go down to reception.

I'm like, you know what? Fucking hell. Like, yeah, give me two minutes. I'm gonna go downstairs, get a bottle of champagne. We can, we can run his back and I'll just go to the concert. I'll go to the stop. Frank doesn't blow up. What rooms do you have? And just get into a new room and just put on first dates and pretend like it never happened. Turn my phone off. I'll tell Donnie if two things come down here. Yeah.

Ask him for man. Don't give them any information. Facts. Yeah, tell him I left. Fair play. That would rock me if he had two pumps and a threesome. Wow. That's destroying. Soul destroying. Right. Worst piece of advice you received to spice things up. Put your thumb in her butt. I pushed it in and something pushed back. That's tough, man. That's always been a fear of mine. Like, not a fear of mine per se, but like it's something I...

It's like a split second thought, but I don't let it... Invade. Invade is the word I was looking for. Yeah, because it'll take over. It'll take everything from me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like, I want this. Do you know what I mean? I actually want this. So it's like, I'm not going to let that thought disturb the situation at hand. I want this. I want this. Facts, bro.

Oh, I never let, yeah, I never let silly James get in my head. Brother, it's, it's. I want, I want this is fucking hilarious. Right, worst piece of advice you've received to spice things up. You don't need to wait to heal from childbirth. Just take the pain. Okay, what the fuck is that? That's not advice, brother. That's literally, that's literally the worst piece of advice. That, yeah, that isn't. That's, yeah. That's the opposite of advice. That's sabotage. That is correct. Correct. Wow. This one.

My roommate was Jamaican, so by default he didn't eat pom. I told him, bro, you're going to lose your girl. That night he set out with one mission. He came back hyped up until we noticed the blood on his hoodie and his pants. He dropped to his knees. Bro, I'm sorry. He's never going to listen to his boy again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Big man, I grew up not eating pom. And you told me I was going to lose the love of my life. Now look at me. Blooded. Yeah, vampiric.

And Beryl, he dropped to his knees. He fell to his knees. Wow. Yeah. That's torment.

He came home hyped. And it's annoying because he does, obviously they did it with the lights off. So he doesn't know any difference in the consistency because he's never done it before. Do you see what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Flavor profile, anything. The iron, he doesn't, he's not picking up on it. The hemoglobin was up and he didn't realize. Yeah, bro. There's bare zinc in there. He just doesn't know. He's just being the standard pro. All right. Worst piece of advice you've received to spice things up. Getting matching tattoos is,

Because nothing says forever like committing to body art with someone whose last name you're still trying to remember. Still trying to remember. It's crazy. Tattoos for loved ones is so insane. Yeah, that's... I don't think people still do that anymore. They can't, surely. Yeah? You know someone that knows someone? I know people that know people, bro. Fair play. Fair play. Right. My girl told me roleplay would fit well into our sex life.

She tied me up and blindfolded me. When the blindfolds came off, I saw my girl standing next to my side chick. Oh my God. Oh my God. I would beg for God to give me a heart attack. Oh yeah, 100%. Oh my, that's a plot twist and a half. You'd hear me pulling at the thing. My face would be straight and you'd hear me trying to break the cuffs. Oh my God. I wouldn't know what they're going to do to me.

Yeah, when I say you would never ever... My dick would look like a slug that you just pour salt on. It would crinkle up. Because nothing is sexy anymore. Yeah. Bro. Wow. Yeah, it will go into raisin form. Side chick. Do you consider blindfolds and handcuffs roleplay? Yeah. Yeah.

Well, actually the character is the role play. I wouldn't say it's role play. It's something different. But in my mind, role play is purely like characterization. So we're playing different characters. I ain't done blindfolds and hand sign in a minute. Oh, same. I think the thing with me is I am lazy.

So lazy in a sense that if I'm in like a... Especially because you have different moods of like sex in terms of like how gentile you are. So it's one of them ones where even if I can think about, oh yeah, this might be a very good time to try all these things. If I'm very, very horny, I don't have the patience to start. Oh, let me tell you. Oh, you just want to feel poor. I just want to... I want to devour you. You see what I'm saying? Yeah, that's what there's power of. I get it. But I think...

between the start of me trying to like tie her up blindfold or put her in this position, whatever, to actually sex, that bit in between, I'll take a breath. I'm like, what am I doing? I'm trying to fuck. And that's my problem. You see what I'm saying? That's my problem. I hear it, bro. So I feel like I need to, I don't know, like I said, I've not done it in ages. More so with the tie-in thing, it's just me and my hands. I'll just grab hands or grab wrists as opposed to finding something to tie and blah, blah, blah.

I guess I'm just lazy. Fair. It used to be my back. I remember you saying, yeah. And then I had one time where an ex like panicked. Yes, you did say, yeah, this guy's off me. Yeah, she was down and then we did it. And as soon as by the way, she was like, oh, get off me. Get off me. I was like, bro, I was like, I'm not even gonna, cause now we can't have sex. Yeah, this is, yeah. Yeah. So I was like, all right, cool. I'm just never going to do it again. I haven't done it since.

Yeah, man. Damn. Yeah. Fuck. Fuck indeed. All right, me. I've got a couple more. Worst piece of advice you've received to spice things up. Cover your tongue with a condom and then lick his ass. The fuck? Exactly. Literally worst piece of advice. The fuck? Speaking of Johnny's, yeah? Talk to me. Have you ever had a girl put a Johnny on you? Good question. Yes. Yes. Yes. I want to say yes. I haven't.

i want to say i feel like i have but like early stage yeah i haven't and i just i grew up watching american pie and i just assumed it was standard yeah and i'm obviously when i was going through my little johnny troubles as a teen i remember thinking it's gonna be all right because girls are gonna offer to put it on four months as just like foreplay kind of stuff

I'm 33. It's not, it's never happened. And I'm over it now. By the time I was like, damn, this is disappointing. And I remember saying it to one girl one time when I was like 19. What, to put it on for me? Yeah, yeah, like, oh, put it on, man. And so she was like, God, no. Because to her, that's the least sexy thing you can possibly do. And I was like,

Yeah, the movies sold you a dream. Oh, bro, they did. God, no. Oh, God. Yeah, God, no. I'm not putting that on. Yeah. Damn. That'll make me rethink a few things. Yeah, never mind. Right. Did you just touch your finger? You did. You did touch my finger. Right. Worst means of advice you've received to spice things up. My ex once said I should stop wearing granny panties.

The ones he saw on that particular day were massive. They covered three quarters of my back. But then he changed his mind. He said, actually, carry on wearing that shit. There's no way you're cheating wearing stuff like that. Oh, fair, fair. He's not getting some and you're not getting any. Yeah, bro. If I don't want to bang, at least no one else does. So just carry on.

That's a lose-lose, man. Three quarters of my back. That's insanity. Yeah. How big are these drawers? Yeah, that's big. All right, last one from me. Worst piece of advice you've received to spice things up. Fold her. She ended up pulling her hamstring and spent the night in hospital. Oh, for fuck's sake. Ah! Random. Go on. This was probably after...

um the pilates ep we did on log cabin log cabin patreon.com for such listen gigs come on three pound a month 10b a day on the p to s and g um it made me realize even more so post coitus session that women are troopers oh yeah because you again this reminded me of the folder reminded me of it and then it brought my mind to the pilates and then in a situation i had and i was thinking about afterwards like

I can't do this for 10 strokes, let alone 15 minutes. Do you see what I'm saying? Oh, bro, my hamstrings will be done. My adductors will tear from the hinges. Yeah, bro. I've done stuff to women's legs. Bro, don't. It's not funny. So they're just naturally more flexible because they are forced into these positions. Do you see what I'm saying? Bro, I can't. I

I used to do a test. The test is like, try and put your, so if you were to sit next to a wall. Yeah. And then like, try and like lay flat on the back, put your legs against the wall and get your bum as close to the wall as you possibly can and just see what that looks like. Brother, your legs won't be straight. Swear. And that's like 90 degrees. Damn. Let alone behind your head. Obtuse angle. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Backwards.

sake yeah it's insane bro they're troopers 100% bro for pleasure because I stay yeah I stay in this no matter what's going on there might be a perpendicular maybe just a cricket that's the most you're getting from me is like one of these I'm either here frontal plane or I'm like yeah

I'm like, bro, I ain't doing shit. Wow. We don't do anything. They're MVPs, bro. Yeah, bro. That's insanity. We don't do nothing. We don't. We really don't. Useless. Right. Nice one from me. Yeah, yeah. Worst piece of advice you received to spice things up. They told me to grab my woman by the throat. Okay. And ask her, whose little whore are you? Oh. She shoved me off and said, definitely not yours.

Yeah. Because that sounded from the jump. That sounded sexy. Of course it does. Of course it does. And it's annoying because he's clearly not an alpha to her. In that scenario, he's not an alpha to her because there is a guy that will do that to her and she'll be like, yours. Yeah. Yours. I'm your whore. Yeah. I'm whatever you want me to be.

She grabbed him off and said, not yours. Not yours? Get your hands off me. I'm your man. Yeah. You're not. Yeah, that's it. You've asked an answer. You're the roommate who covers the bills. Clearly. That's... Because get your hands off me. A roommate that covers the bills. That should be a line in a movie. Yeah. Yeah, bro. Because the whole cinema would gasp. Yeah, 100%. I couldn't hear that. No one can hear that. But it's facts. That is facts. Because get your hands off me.

We have a family, yeah, facts, but get your hands off me. Yeah, it's horrible. Right. Welcome back in, guys. Welcome back to the show, guys. If you were listening a little minute ago, you may have heard us mention a little platform called Patreon. Yes, sir. And that is a nice place where we head over every Thursday and every Saturday to shoot some extra content for you guys. We do. Patreon's a fantastic place where we don't have to abide the copyright laws.

of YouTube and Spotify. So we do what we want. We literally do what we want over there. I was on there naked the other day.

Apparently so, yeah. And then on Saturdays, we have a little show called The Lock Admin where we do stuff like Pilates. We do stuff like skydiving. We learn how to skateboard. We compete against one another for things of ridiculous nature. We cook for one another. We do. And we have a great time. Yeah, man. It's awesome. So yeah, patreon.com forward slash shits and gigs. Head over there now. Yes, sir. If you are wondering why we're on Australia, we are on tour. We are. Yeah.

It's pretty much sold out I'm not gonna lie Yeah sorry Because this comes out In a few weeks So it's like Yeah go on the website Anyway and see what I want Yeah see what I want Just get the merch maybe Yeah Maybe just pull up to the venue And get the merch Just get the merch bro Yeah

Yeah, damn. Just to say you were there, you know? Facts, because you weren't there. We know that. Your friends don't know. They'll never know. Because you're wearing the merch. Facts. And you can't get the merch anywhere else at the minute. There you go. So facts. Pull up to the venue, grab some merch. You never know. You might just see one of us just walking from dressing room to toilet. True. You never know. Hey, hey. Probably not. Shoot your shot. You never know. Don't do that.

Not literally shoot your shot. Oh, okay. Just shoot your shot by attending. And maybe you'll get visuals of the side of your head. All right. Cool. Yeah. So you have a question for me? I do have a question for you. Has autocorrect nearly gotten you in a pickle before? Wow. Probably. I can't think of a specific time, but probably it keeps changing one of my things as well.

Fuck the duck pisses me off. Yeah, that's that. Because I'm trying to exhibit frustration. Yeah. That's universal. Fuck the duck needs to stop. Yeah. But no, I can't think of a specific time. It's nearly got me in trouble. Okay. So there's a phrase that I say pretty much every day for like nonchalant things, which is okay, calm. Yeah, of course. I say it all the time. So...

What my iOS does is every time I say calm, it wants to auto populate with down at the end of it. So calm down. Oh, I see. So there was a time Megan put in our group chat something along the lines of, oh, let's say the time for this has changed. Can you meet us downstairs at this time? And I put, okay, calm. And it popped up down. I nearly pressed send.

and my heart was racing, brother. - Yeah, she would have been living. - Okay, calm down. The thing is, I know she would have stayed online too long enough for me to edit that and delete the doubt. - 100%. - Because she will be thinking, who are you talking to? - Yeah, who the fuck are you talking to? - Who the duck are you talking to? - Who the duck are you talking to? - Yeah, bro. - It scares me. I checked on my search thing. Okay Calm is populated on my WhatsApp.

It pisses me off, bro. Yeah, bro. 100% I can imagine you. Okay, calm down. Yeah. That's not pissing. You must be able to change that.

I think it's called predictive text. Okay. You can take predictive text off. Okay. Yeah. It's that's a mess. It jars me, bro. Yeah. The one I will do is people, people who email me, um, are frustrated with my laissez-faire replies because Google will write the whole thing for you. Okay. Depending on what they've sent. Okay. Google will give an option, but like, okay, cool. It says it in a way that I would never ever speak. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

That one said. That's not how I speak. And there's no signature. Nothing wrong. Fucking take that, man. Okay.

Yeah, man. I know exactly what you mean. That's jokes. I can't be bothered, bro. That's jokes. Yeah, the okay, calm down one. It pisses me off. I bet you. To no end. Sorry, bro. Yeah, that was my question for you. Right, should we do blind ranking to finish? Let's do blind ranking to finish. Right. So I asked Megan earlier to come up with five random Samuel L. Jackson movies. Okay. And we can blind rank them. Are we writing these down on our phone? We're going to write them down on our phone. Okay. Cool. I'm ready. The Incredibles.

Damn the Incredibles. Where's my super suit? That's a good start, Megan. I wasn't expecting that. That's left field. The Incredibles. Frozone. Fuck. I might put that number two, you know. I was thinking three because I think that's a safe bet. It's a staple movie. I've seen it so many times and...

You can't really go wrong with that movie. They took, what, 10, 11 years to make number two? I was livid about that. Yeah, same. But episode, the first movie, sensational. But I'm going to go for a wholesome, because we're talking about Samuel L. Jackson. Yeah, we are. There's stuff in there. There's stuff. And we don't know what the five that Megan's picked. So I'm going for a wholesome number three. I'm going to put number two and be risky with it. The Incredibles. I don't know if you've seen this. Pulp Fiction? Everyone's seen Pulp Fiction. What the fuck? Everybody's seen Pulp Fiction. Put some respect on our names. Yeah. Please. That's going number two.

Because I know there's a number one out there that isn't Pulp Fiction. I might put Pulp Fiction number one. I think that might be the best one he's in. I think my thing is with, don't get me wrong, it's a great movie. There's so many other characters that are really great as well. Yeah, 100%. So it's like, am I basing this ranking? I'm basing this ranking off just Samuel, not the movie. Oh, really? I'm basing off the movie. Just the movie? Yeah. Yeah.

I have a feeling Mega will say something that I'll be like, okay, that should be number one. But so far, I'm happy with Incredibles and Pulp Fiction as three and two. Oh, two and three. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Fair. Coach Carter. Oh, that's a movie. That's my childhood. I think I've seen that maybe twice. Also, a long time ago. But I don't think... The feelings I got from watching these two don't... Or from Coach Carter don't compare to the feelings I got from these two. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Coach Carter ain't shit in comparison to Pulp Fiction and the Incredibles. Yeah, so I'm going number...

Do I go four or do I go five? I feel like five is an insult, but I also feel like I'm going to go with my gut. You've done some shit movies though. Yeah, I'm going to go five. I'm going to go four. Five is crazy. Five is crazy, but we don't know what the other two are. Five is crazy, but I'm going to go with my gut. Fair. Star Wars Episode I.

Star Wars Episode 1, The Phantom Menace. Yeah, I just, you know, past few months, I've been on their balls. Pause. That's a good movie. That is a good movie, but I don't think that's number one for me. But I'm annoyed because I would have put that five over Carter. So, process of a limb, I'm going to go four. I'm going to put it five. I'm not happy about it. Star Wars. Right. I'm going to go five.

I feel sick. So before you say the last movie, Pulp Fiction for me, number two. The Incredibles, number three. Star Wars, episode one. No, it will be episode four. Number four. And Coach Carter, number five. I've done Pulp Fiction, number one. Incredibles, number two. Fair. Coach Carter, number four. Okay. Star Wars, episode one. Number five. So you've got three, number three left. I've got number three left. I've got number one left. Oh my God. That's scary. That is scary. God. Go on. Go on.

I knew Django was gonna be in there! Literally, when I put it as number one, I was like, the only one that she can say to challenge number one for me is gonna be Django. - I think I'm happy with my results.

I think I'm very happy with my results. Django Unchained. Yeah. I would only, I think I would only swap Django. I still think Pulp Fiction is better. I would swap Django and the Incredibles for sure. Okay. That was good. Well played. Incredibles spun me. Good. Oh, that did spin me. Yeah. Damn. Good shout. Well fucking played Megan. Fuck. All right. Gang. Guys, let us know how you did at home. Right. Guys, this is our first Australia recording. We appreciate you. Always. This is a fun one. It was. And as always, love, love, love. Gang, gang, gang.

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