FUNNIEST REASON YOU'VE GHOSTED SOMEBODY?!
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- Hey, do you like this mountain top or something crazy? Do you like this Mount Kilimanjaro? - Guys, girls, welcome in. - Welcome back to the best podcast ever. - Second best. - No, actually. - No. - We haven't said second best in a while. - We haven't. - I remember our quote unquote like growth trajectory pause was,

I could tell this show was getting bigger. This is a couple of years ago now. I could tell the show was getting bigger when we used to always introduce the show with welcome back to the second best podcast on the planet. And then people found it funny and satirical until you get to a certain level. And then people were like,

why on earth do they think they're second? Because I can give you stats right now. - That proves. - Yeah, they're not even top 10. - Yeah. - And it's like, it's a joke. But once you get to a certain point, same with Ellis and Doge.

- Oh for fucks sake. - That went crazy. - You can't make jokes anymore. - Yeah, can't do role play anymore. - Yeah. - Can't do it. - You really can't. Can't make jokes. - The joke is that wasn't even a joke. That was a complete- - It was a role play. - Acting joke. - Yeah.

- Oh God. - That was hilarious. - There was no backlash though, was it? - There can't be backlash. - No, it wasn't backlash. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - People just believed it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - It was like, what the fuck? - Oh, you didn't know? - No, no, no, no. - Bro, there's a search thing. If you type in Ellis in TikTok, the first thing it says, and Doja Cat. - Really? - I'm not joking. - See, that's why I was questioning why you're

Saying it like that and there must have been something that's come off that everyone believed that he was doing a thing with the edge cap The clip account what posted it had to genuinely put a post up and go it was a joke, right? It was a role play. Yeah, so many people like oh my god, what the fuck why why would you even say that she trusted you with that information? People genuinely believed is

- Calm down. - She trusted you with that information? - Wow. - Wow, wow, wow. - Bro, Ellis told me in the car on the way to the studio that when I say I was howling, you man. - Wow. - Wow indeed.

- That's wow. - Yeah, that's crazy, man. Life is crazy, bro. - Yeah, you just say stuff and people believe it. - Yeah, that's what's concerning, bro. The internet is actually nuts. - It's concerning. - 'Cause that to me was like the most precise example I've ever seen of out of context.

because all they needed to do was take the 10 seconds. If the clip was just 10 seconds before that, we would have been like, oh, let's role play a scenario because you're Doja Cat's type. Let's role play a scenario you don't think of Doja Cat. As soon as you cut that out and he's doing the role play, all of a sudden everyone's like, rah, he's actually been serious. He did a thing with Doja. - Yeah, it's insane. - Wow. And because it's somewhat believable, because you are our type, jarringly, and...

And like, yeah, you're somebody. Yeah, that's mental. Yeah, it was nuts. Anyway, question of the week. Right, question of the week. And the question of the week this week was, what's the funniest reason you've ghosted somebody? I've got quite a few. Yeah, I've got a couple. I've got a couple. All right, go for it. What's the funniest reason you've ghosted someone? I found out he had a kidney transplant. That's not even funny. Yeah. That's actually not funny. I found out he's got a kidney transplant. He might not be tip top. Wow. Yeah. Wow. Wow.

Right, funniest reason you've ghosted someone. His nipples were too pointy. Oh my God. Speaking on from that, he was solely invested in his nipples being played with and sucked the only time he had sex. This is all I want. Yeah, this is all I need. Yeah, you're faffing about down there. Get up here. Get up here. I need these tintillated right now. Play and suck.

- Yeah, simultaneously. - I've got no sensitivity in my nipples. - We've had this conversation very recently. - Zilch. - Yeah, I've got, if I get wholesome myself, if I get handsy myself, I can't feel a thing. But I said, if a stranger touches it, it's tickly. So my worst nightmare is a drawn, if we're not comfy like that. If you're not the love of my life and you're sucking my nipples, I will giggle like you're tickling my feet. - Really? - Yeah. - Oh, I- - It's not a sensitivity thing, I think it's a trust thing.

- I don't know why that's funny. - This area here does nothing for me when it comes to sexual form. - Yeah, it doesn't give me any gratification. - So if it's her bag and she's like gone from my lips to kissing down my neck and working her way down and she spends like a minute or two here, I'm just gonna be looking at her. - That's ages.

I'm being dramatic. - Okay, cool, cool, cool. - 20 seconds, even that's too long. I'm just gonna be looking at you like, when are you going down? - I'll be embarrassed. Yeah, when are you going down? - When is this service station stop? - Yeah, because this is doing nothing for me. - Yeah, the tank is full now, drive on. - Yeah, so. - Damn, yeah, mine's just a tickly thing. I realize I have real big trust things with my body in terms of tickles. - Okay. - Like for example, same thing. If I don't know you're gonna suck my nipple, I'm gonna giggle.

Okay, I can I go to the toilet all the time. I wipe my body. Yeah ain't ticklish By a fair you put a little on my Bible or scream and giggle Scream and giggle. Do you know I'm saying it's a trust thing if you take on my feet I'm gonna scream a giggle if a masseuse is doing a thing. I trust you. I ain't laughing. It's a serious business Anyway

Not that anyone has given me a grrrr. But, you know, I can imagine it would make me tickle. Because if anyone goes near there, I clench and giggle. Immediately. Immediately. Oh, God. Right. Funniest reason you've ghosted somebody. We went on four dates. And then she asked, so when do you think you'll be healed from PTSD? Have you tried prayer? What? What? Random. When do you think you'll be healed?

Because you're currently, wherever it is you need healing from, you're doing it on my time. - Yeah, yeah. - Have you prayed? 'Cause that seems like stage one. - Wow. Wow. Okay. What's the funniest reason you've ghosted someone? It looked like one ear was smaller than the other and I ain't trying to pass that onto my youth. - Seen her baby pictures. I can't put my little ones through that. - Fair. - Yeah.

- Ghosted? You understand the question? - Ghosted. - You ghosted this person? - Yeah. - That's actually crazy. - Yeah. - If we're deep in it, that's fucking crazy. - You saw her baby pictures and you never spoke to her again.

People should be like going to court for stuff like that. You can't just go somewhere like that. - This is how I know, I'm realizing this is all American stuff because they have so many options. That country is so big and there's so many people there that you can physically go somewhere just because you've seen their baby pictures and you know you've got a new thing tomorrow. No matter what you look like, it don't matter what you fucking look like, you've got a new thing coming over tomorrow. In England where there's not that many people. - Nah, you should be subpoenaed.

- If I'm seeing your- - By a stranger. - Yeah, by a, 'cause that's not okay. You should be subpoenaed. Give me reasons as to why you posted me. - Find a suit. - Yeah. - Find a suit. - 'Cause we're going court.

What do you mean ghosting me? We're going in court. By law, you're gonna link me by law. - Yeah, you are gonna, yeah. You're gonna link me against your will. You're gonna link me against your will. - And we're gonna have a discussion like adults. - You don't get to do that to me. - Subpoenaed, yeah. Facts, bro. - Oh, fuck, man. - What's the funniest reason you've ghosted someone? I remembered him beating me in Connect Four in third grade in front of the whole class. That's trauma. - Wow. - Damn, right.

Funniest reason you ghosted someone. He didn't like the fact that I had a boy's name. He said his brethrens weren't gonna take him seriously. - That's young mentality, I can tell. - 100%. 100%. - 'Cause as soon as you said boy's name, I was thinking, oh, maybe like Jordan. Jordan's a cool unisex name. - Yeah, I grew up with a girl called Jordan. - I wouldn't ghost you 'cause your name's Jordan. - Yeah, I gotta be like, I'm not gonna lie to you. Like, you've got a guy's name and the man, they're not gonna let that run, Taylor.

- Taylor as well, yeah, good unisex name. Yeah, that's very childish. - Just peak. - Yeah, what's the funniest reason you've ghosted someone? He was cooking, but he kept getting his hands dirty from rolling his wheelchair. Silence from everyone, please. Silence from everyone. From everyone. - Bro, big man thing, yeah? - No, this is not, I'm not even trying, I promise you now, if someone clips this out of context, it's not fair.

This is ignorance. I don't want to say something about ignorance before we continue. Just to make this clear. I'm listening. It shouldn't offend people if someone's ignorant. Okay. I'm being deadly serious. Okay. Ignorance just means you don't know. Valid. It shouldn't offend you if I just don't know. Yeah. So I'm asking so I can find out. So you can find out. Yeah. But you're asking the public. Yeah. Is there indoor and outdoor wheelchairs, Big Man Singh? Is there indoor and outdoor wheelchairs? Yeah. Because I don't wear my shoes inside. And I sure as hell don't wipe the bottom of them.

- So in that example, if I was wheelchair bound and I get, I've been out all day in these streets and it's been raining. Once I get to my front door, am I just bringing the rainy wheels inside? - That's a good question. I have no idea. And I assume so, yes you are. Because I just assume you are. - I'm just dirtying up the yard. - I think so. - You can clean the wheels. - Indoor. - Clean the wheels how?

- They don't hold onto their wheels exactly. - Oh, they got rims. - They got rims on the outside, which would remain clean and the wheels obviously make the contact with the floor. So you can wipe the wheels down. - What if you don't like wearing shoes inside? - What do you mean? - So when you say wipe the wheels down, how? - So they would be sat in the chair and they would have access to cleaning products, whatever, and just wipe the wheels down at the door closest to the porch or whatever.

- But how am I getting that spin? - Logistic, I think you have to roll it. - So I'd have to roll it and then have the clock and then go, "Shh." - You'd get so far. - By then there's already 10 meters of dirt. - Yeah, by then you're done. - And then I got a back pedal. - Yeah, I guess so. You'd get so far in, clean the wheels and then, yeah, I guess that part of your hallway, your entrance into your house would remain a little bit dirty, but the rest of the house would be cool. - I'd rather have another chair. - Apparently there is two.

- I thought so. That sounds long bro, I'm not gonna lie to you. - Does it? - The outdoor ones. - Everyday? I guess so, maybe. - The outdoor ones have bigger wheels.

For like gravel and stuff And grass And then Grass is long Yeah that would take the piss And then The indoor ones Have smaller wheels For like carpet And stuff like that That makes fucking sense Riding a bike on grass is hard So a fucking wheelchair Would be difficult Yeah You'd be hench though Your forearms would be wet Yeah you'd be hench Oh bro There's that Fucking There was a geezer Where I used to work My first PT job right Yeah

Council run gym. There was a geezer with dreadlocks in a fucking wheelchair. He looked like the basketball geezer. It wasn't him.

- His arms were fucking wham. - Yeah. - And he kept his gloves on. Those fingerless gloves? - Yeah, yeah. - Kept them joints on. - Okay. - His arms were fucking massive. - Fair. - Yeah, it was nuts. - Yeah, I went gym with a guy in a wheelchair as well. Literally just pumping. - You went gym with him? - No, not with, sorry, it was at my gym. It was like a regular at my gym and he was fucking jacked. Fair play. - Right. What's the funniest reason you've ghosted someone?

They told me their favorite animal was a cow. That's a random favorite animal. That's so random. Do you have a favorite animal? A favorite animal? I have a least favorite animal. A favorite... I don't know if this makes me a bad person. I could get less about animals.

I don't give a fuck about animals, bro. I've been very out of sight, out of mind. - Same in some aspects. - I get that with like pets and shit like that. Like I see how Rem acts with his cats. It's ridiculous.

But I know if I had a cat, I'd be on that stuff. - Fair play. - But 'cause I don't, I'm like- - Outside of my mind, it doesn't affect you. - Outside of my mind, like grow up. That's an animal. It grips and all that. - So if we bought you a cat- - I would vex. - But you just said you'd act the same. - Eventually baseline, yeah. Over time, because I know this, it relies on me for survival. And also actually cat. - Yeah, not even to that much extent. - 'Cause they don't give a fuck about you. Dog, get me a dog, I'll be like,

I'll be livid, but it will be on my lap and I'll be like fair. - Yeah. - Do you know what I mean? 'Cause dogs, they really rely on you. Yeah, they're too emotionally unstable. - They're seriously- - Like dependent, innit? - Yeah. - Yeah, they won't be, you'd let a dog starve, they ain't gonna beef you. It's gonna have it. - Yeah. - That's dark. - It's true! - I'm not- - Yeah, they're too loyal. - Yeah, but I'm saying it's dark. - They're too loyal. - It's peak. - Yeah, way too loyal, bro. It makes me upset. - That's peak, that's very peak. - Very loyal. - Damn. - Anyway. - Anyway.

- What's the funniest reason you've ghosted someone? He asked me for money whilst we're in the talking stage. - Wow, that's bold. - It really, really is. But I need the money more than I need you. I need the money more than I need a positive opinion from you. - Yeah, you must really need the money. - Yeah. - That's all I can say. - Yeah, 100%. - You must really need the money. - Talking stage. - Yeah. I need money. I've asked everyone before I got to you. - Yeah, fair. - That's how I would start the sentence.

Just to let you know, I've asked everyone before I got here. But then it gets embarrassing because they all said no. Yeah. Facts. Facts. So who were you to me? Yeah. If all your boys have said no, who were you to me? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're embarrassing yourself. I remember the first time someone told me no for money and that rocked my chest. Who was it and when was it? It was my brother. Was this like circa uni times? Nah, post uni, first job, broke. Mm-hmm. And he was earning good money. Mm-hmm. And he's frugal. Mm.

And I went for literally for like four months in a row, like the day before payday, I was tapped out. Or two days before payday, I was tapped out. It was a vicious cycle because I'd asked him for a hundred pound, he'd give me a hundred pound, but then I have to give it back when I get paid. And I'm gonna be in the exact same position. Three, four months. So it must've been like three, four days before payday. Routine. Text my brother, yo, my bad, can I borrow a hundred? He said, nah. I said, nah, come on, don't be silly. He said, nah.

The answer's no. And I was like, why? He's like, and you know what he said? Because no. He didn't even give me a justification. Like, oh, sorry, bro. I need it. And then he just like, because I'm just not, I don't have to. Yeah. Yeah. I just don't have to. And that's why I'm not. 10 toes. I've ever seen it. Yeah. He didn't fear consequence. I can't even eat. Let alone fight him. Yeah.

What are you going to do? You can't even put a picture on your card to come see me. So what the fuck are you going to do? Nothing. So the answer's no. Stop wasting your data. I know you would have been screaming. I was. Because I was, you know, I was joking. I was walking into Tesco as I asked them. That's how confident I was I was going to get the funds. I was already in the shop ready to spend the money. I had to turn around and go back. Damn. I didn't have enough for anything in that shop.

I was walking into Tesco. I said, yo, big man, run me the honcho real quick. - Usual monthly team. - Yeah, usual, you know what it is. - Yeah, it's Thursday, I need it. - He said, nah, big man. I was like, say less. I walked straight back out. I was murked. - And what did you do for the other three days until payday or whatever? - I think I just ate my mom's noodles and stuff. My mom's always got like, she used to always have like, what do you call it?

Like tinned goods and shit that's just sitting there in the freezer. Tinned goods? Yeah, like spaghetti hoops and stuff like that. Yeah, bro, I was eating them for three days. It was fucking horrible. And I didn't have the courage to tell her I was broke. Because I'm not asking my mum for money. Why not? She won't let you forget it.

- In terms of paying her back or just like- - Just in terms of, for one, you're paying me back. - Yeah. - And for two, I'll come home tomorrow and there'll be a spreadsheet on the thing and said, clearly you can't manage your money correctly. - Oh, okay. - The way you asked me before, you can't manage your money. - Okay. - So let's sit down and let's work out a payment plan. - Okay. - That's excessive. - Yeah, I'm not dealing with that. - Fair enough. - Is that a love? - Understandable, it's also excessive. There's different ways of doing it. That's the wrong way, in my opinion. - Yeah. - Yeah, just in my opinion. - Yeah.

But fair enough Yeah When it comes to Children models Playing around with Niceties Fair play If you're asking me for money You owe me So sit down And we're gonna go Through the spreadsheet Until that money Returns to my bank Jesus wept Yeah It's rough Alright last one from me What's the funniest reason You've ghosted someone She messaged my ex-wife After our first date To check if we had Actually split up

You can fuck yourself. Oh, 100%. You can actually fuck yourself. Brutal. Damn. First date, she came over to my place. I cooked for her. We had drinks. We did the deed. All was well. The next day, I saw a picture of her kissing me while I was asleep on her IG story. You man. You man. On her IG story? On the story. Not even close friends. There's someone I know.

that went through a phase of doing some, not kissing while they were sleeping, but take pictures of the guys they were seeing at the time. And she's got like a few pics in an album of them. Yeah, of different guys, not like the same person. - In compromised positions or just in general? - They're just sleeping, not compromised. - Oh, they're asleep. - They're asleep and it's just like a cute, in their eyes it's cute. - She's got a whole album

- Of her and different man? - Yeah, I wanna say, when I say album, don't think like hundreds. I'm just thinking like, it's just an album for that. So there's a few pictures of her with different man whilst they're sleeping because they think it's cute. - It's not cute. - Oh, I understand. It's just the female mentality in that specific moment. - That this is cute.

- Wow. - Can you imagine dating someone and then finding it? - I'm not finding the folder. - It's just photos of sleeping men. - Sleeping men? - I promise you, my first thing is I think they're dead. I think they're dead and I'm next. 100% that's what I'm thinking. - A folder of sleeping men. - Yeah, that's terrifying. Also, when did she make the folder? - I have no idea. - Because if she made it,

If she made it on the first picture, she knew this was her intention moving forward. She made it on the last picture. She was like, this is getting out of hand. I need a whole folder for this situation because I've just realized this is my fix. Yeah. Yeah. I have no idea. Damn. Okay, cool. Right. A couple more for me. All right. Funniest reason you ghosted someone. He told me the voice inside of his head was named Victor and he wants to kill me.

Wait, wants to kill... Victor wants to kill her. The date. Oh, Jesus. The voice of my head was called Victor. Yeah, the voice of my head, his name's Victor, he wants to kill you. Yeah, that's Arkham. But don't worry, I'm airing him. He's in the doghouse as it is. That's Arkham, chat. Right, last one. Mm-hmm.

Funniest reason you ghosted someone. The whole time we had sex, he kept saying long cock. You love this long, long cock. As if the longer he made the word, the longer his wood would be. Who says long cock? Long cock. Long? Yeah, long. I don't know why. Long in my mind just means skinny. Skinny, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Long, who, long? - Yeah, is that long? - I've never ever used that to describe anything sexual, long. - What have you used? - That's another story for another day. - Why not today? And why not this story? - I was just saying stuff. I was generally just saying stuff for a reaction. I don't use adjectives. - Yeah, I know. If a girl you really, really liked said, say something.

- And don't give me that, do you like this or whatever. Give me something or describe, yeah. She wants you to describe your phallus. What adjective would you use? - I don't even think I'd use an adjective. I think I'd call it something. - Oh, like? - I don't know. 'Cause I think an adjective just, I think an adjective would be either boring or something she's heard before. - Yeah. - Does that make sense? - Yeah. - So I think I'd call it something, but again, I don't know what, I think I'd have to be in the moment and

be so ten toes, like I'm imagining now, like sex position, probably like backshotting or whatever. And I will say something, oh yeah, you like this, whatever, as opposed to saying you like this long dick. Does that make sense? - Yeah, of course that makes sense. - So I have no idea what I'd call it though. It'll be something stupid, but something so relative that she's down. But again, I have no idea. - Yeah, like true bark? - I don't know bro, it'll be something so stupid.

- Are we anthropomorphizing? Are we going animals? - No, I think I'd go more objective than animal. - Just like an animal object? - Yeah, something random. I don't know. - Like poster holder. - Yeah, do you like this mountain top or something? I'm sighting crazy. Do you like this Mount Kilimanjaro? - Kilimanjaro! - Sighting like that. - Wow, that's fucking funny. - I'll say something stupid. - I'll say something stupid. - Oh, that'll throw me out of my swing. This Kilimanjaro.

- I was gonna say something stupid bro. - Okay, cool, fair play. Right, guys. - Fair play. - Ah, there you go. Guys, girls, welcome back in. - Welcome back indeed. - You are tuned into the, in my opinion, second best podcast in the world. - In my opinion, the first. - If you enjoy the show, if you wanna see more, if you wanna see us get up to some crazy shit, there was a dildo on Aaron's desk for a couple weeks. Wanna know why? Head on over to patreon.com/shitsandgigs

And then contribute a humble three pound a month. - 10p a day. - Run the P. - To S&G. - And your daddies will take it from there. If you're watching on YouTube, we are hunting down a tender, rony 2 million subs. So please, if you watch the episodes and you're not subscribed to the channel, it would mean the world if you would. So please sub. And if you are listening on any audio platform, please give us a five star rating. Unless you hate your show and then just whatever you say, say it with your chest. - Facts.

- Cool, so Fwaggs has a recommendation for us today. - I have two recommendations. - Two recommendations. - The first recommendation is called Dark and it's on Netflix. You've seen it? - Scandinavian thing? - Yeah. - Or German?

- Yeah, I have. - How much have you seen? - I started yesterday. I've seen two episodes. - It's good. - And I am locked in. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Locked in. So for the people that haven't seen it, so Dark is a series about past, present and future all entwining within itself. So there is an event that happened where a child went missing and

Coincidentally, 33 years later, the same events are happening within a town and they're trying to figure out why there is this connection and why this is happening. And all the characters are all linked in a certain way. But they are linked, first of all, they are linked because of this event that happened due to a missing person. And they're all linked in a sense of, from what I've seen anyway, there's no tangent story.

everyone is linked to this one thing and all the kids are friends with each other and all the parents know each other through different things and it's all linked to this one story. So, so far, like 95% run, run to my 8.7 out of 10 IMDB is, yeah, I'm locked in and the character development so far is, is, is heavy. Fair. What made you watch this? I got recommended to me. Oh, gang. It's fantastic. I watched it.

I know exactly when I watched it. 2019, I watched it. Amazing. Actually, funny enough, I actually don't think I ever finished it. Yeah, that's when the first season came out, 2019, and it ended in... Oh, no, 2017. Sorry, 2017. Oh, three seasons. Yeah, I think I kind of fell off it at like...

beginning to mid of season three. - Okay. - And I've always meant to go back to it because I did love it. - Okay. - It gets, I'm not gonna lie to you, season two into season three, fucking complicated. - Oh yeah. - As you can imagine. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Fucking complicated. - Yeah, I was reading the synopsis earlier and it said, "If you're not paying attention to all the intricate stuff, you can lose your way." - Yeah, you can. - Yeah. - Bro, you get lost. - So it's very connected. - Yeah, I think I was, it was one of those shows where like I was watching

It was while I was off work for a little while, for like a few weeks. And I was just binging it, binging it. But then I was finding myself like falling asleep. Trying to rewind it. Especially because it's in German as well. Bro, I was losing my weight. There's layers to the show, but it's fantastic. Yeah. Again, watch two episodes. I had to switch off the TV because I knew I would have been extra tired today if I continued watching it.

- Been there. - So I was like, let me make an executive decision and go to bed. - That's gonna be, I'm starting Squid Game today. So that's gonna be me. - Oh, you've not seen anything? - Nothing. - Okay, fair enough. - Fair enough. - Yeah, that's gonna be me tomorrow. So good luck. - It's good. It's not as good as season one. - Fair. - Yeah. - I can take that. Boss, I can take that. - I won't spoil anything though until you see it. - All right, gang.

- Yeah, Dark is definitely my number one recommendation this week. I also have another recommendation on Prime, Beast Games. - Really? I heard it's number one in the world. - Bro, Beast Games is heavy. - Really? - The production, this guy broke 40 Guinness World Records for doing the show. The amount of money this thing is giving away is insanity. So the prize money in this game is, at the end of the games, it's $5 million.

But throughout the games, he's giving away fuck loads of money. So it's a thousand contestants. - Yeah. - They all walk into a room and the first thing he does was, okay, the product tells you about the games, tells you about the prize pot, tells you about going from this room that we're into to the beach. He built a city which cost $50 million. - That doesn't surprise me. - When I say the production value in this is incredible, it's incredible.

He's given away money throughout this, throughout the intro of the show to tease people to leave the show early. So almost half people leave because he's bribing people with cases of cash. Cases. So like 10 grand. How many people want to leave for 10 grand? You're just waiting there sitting there. Maybe not, maybe not. 20 grand, 40 grand, 50 grand. 50 grand I'm gone. People are pressing the button. Yeah, 50 grand I'm gone. Bearing in mind the prize pot is 5 million. Only one person's winning that.

There was a game where... This is where it gets to the questions I wanted to ask you. So there's a game where...

There's four teams and each team has a captain. What Mr. Beast decided was he wanted to get all the four captains up on a podium and it was to see who was the first person that will be eliminated because he's going to bribe them with money again. But the caveat was if the captain takes the money, that whole team is eliminated, but the captain stays and keeps the money. The money pot went up to a million dollars.

So he can take a mil and essentially execute his whole team. But he stays and keeps the money and continues the games. No one pressed the button. It was tense. Are you mad pressing the button? 100%. For a million pounds? And then with still a chance to win the five mil because I'm still in. Yeah. Who's in my team? Yeah. How many is in my team as well? Lows. There was like probably 20 per team.

- I've never met them before. I just happened to be their captain. - Oh, you've met, this is like the second or third game. - So we've had some rapport. - Exactly. You've been with them for a minute now. Obviously production wise, that's probably like, you've probably been with them like three days now. If I'm talking production. - So let me actually picture it. I'm on the stand. There's 20 people. - And they're watching you. - And they're watching me. - Everyone is watching you say, "Don't press the button, don't press the button." They're screaming.

- Because they believe in you because you said I will be the captain. - Oh, I'll be the captain. Let me take care of my team. - Have faith at one press the button. - But when I volunteered to be captain, did I know that's why I was- - No, you found out once you get up there. - Oh, okay. And they're like, no, no, no, no, no, no. And Jimmy's like, mill. - Yeah. It starts from a thousand dollars and it keeps going up. It goes up in seconds.

- Yeah. So it's like a roll on count and everyone's, all the four captains are just looking at each other and looking at the team and screaming at them saying, don't push the button. Please don't push the button. - As soon as it hits a million. - Yeah. - I think probably before when they got to 750, I would've been like fuck this. These men are going home. - Fair. - I don't care.

- Fair. - I came here against, I came here for a maximum of 5 million against 999 other people. And you're telling me I can get a million right here and still compete. - Do you think that would have an adverse effect on your, on the rest of your games? - I don't give a fuck about the rest of the games. I've got a million pounds.

Very valid. That's more than what... Apart from who wants to be a millionaire, that's more than any other game show in the world is giving you. Yeah. I'll take that million in a second. These men will hate me. It's your fault. You should have asked to be captain. Fair. Fair, yeah. Like I said, it's the highest prize money in any game show. Five mil. There's another game he plays where, let's say it's three of us, me, you and Rem. Sorry, would you press the button? I don't know. I really don't know. I think...

I think I'd want to press the button, but I also think I would want to do... I think the pride of holding down my team will outweigh me pressing the button. Does that make sense? Can I be fair? Of course. Your priorities are mixed up. Who the fuck are these men to you? Don't get me wrong, I hear that. But I feel like I can imagine myself being there and allowing them to trust me. I understand it. I fully get it. But...

As soon as I press the button, it's not like I even have to go back to the team and say, sorry, they're gone, bro. I'll press the button and say, security, get these man out of here. Security. I don't want to look at them anymore. They're gone. The thing is, I understand that I would feel guilty. Yeah. But in my head, I'll be like, this podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com slash gigs pod and get on your way to being your best self. Right, my bro. Yeah. Real quick. Tell me one thing. What do you want your 2025 story to be?

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At the end of this, only one person's getting 5 million. - Yes, from what I've been told, yeah. - So it doesn't fucking matter if they're going home now. This is how it might have might have worked. 'Cause I was like, none of you man are getting, like maybe one of you is getting something. And if one of you is getting something, I ain't getting nothing. So why am I now,

missing a chance to get a million so that someone else can get five. And it probably won't even be none of you. It probably won't even be me. Like there's still a hundred and there's fucking like a hundred and something people left here. - Yeah. - It'd be such a no brainer to me. - Fair enough. - Same. I'll press the button.

To help me sleep better at night, I guess I might try and dish some sun after the show. Maybe. Just to make me sleep better at night. Because I hear what Fwigs are saying as well. Like these people, they trusted me. They chose me to be their captain. They didn't expect me to sell them out. I got to that point where Mr. B said to me, right, cool. 1K, 2, 10K, 20, 50, 100, 500, 750, 1 mil.

I can't not press the button at one mil and still have the opportunity to win the five. Probably, I'm probably not going to win the five. After that one, I'm set with, well, that's me. I'm not, I'm thinking, I'm not winning the five, but I've got one. So. You're not coming in the studio telling me that story that you just told by the way. You were on Beast Games. Yeah.

And I was like, bro. So what did you win? Yeah, well, I came 15th. And I'm like, I swear, and you'd be like, oh, you might have never guessed, though. These men voted me to be captain. And I was up there, and then, like, the prize pool went up to a million. And all I had to do was press the button, and the rest of the team would have gone. But I just couldn't face, like, they trusted me to be captain. I don't think I'd let you finish that story. Because you should have a million pounds in your account right now.

- 'Cause the first thing I would say before you finish is like, now that's dread, like, have you had any negative DMs? - Yeah. - 'Cause you just assumed it was a press. - Is it a bad press? - Yeah. - Like, what's going on? And you'd be like, oh no, I didn't press it. - Yeah. - Really, yeah, yeah. - Pardon? - Repeat yourself. - Yeah.

- So you don't have a million. In fact, you have nothing but a waste of time. - Literally, and a bit of exposure. - Yeah. These men are now your best friends or you never gonna see them again? 'Cause you best be seeing them every day. - Yeah, fair, fair.

Yeah. Fair play though. You're a real one, G. Ellis? Yeah, of course. You press the button? Yeah. If I don't know them, I don't care. We're all here for the same fucking thing, mate. We're all here for money. If it was my friends, you know what I mean? I'd be a bit like, ah, shit. Because I've got to see them again. I don't think they'd ever let that

- If it was my friends or someone I knew, they would never forget that. Do you know what I mean? - Or they'll never let you let it down. - Yeah, they'll never let you forget, bro. - It would just go on forever. Oh, fucking, you ditched me for a million. - If you ditched them, they wouldn't be your friends anymore. - Yeah, true. - That would be the end of that friendship. - But yeah, if I didn't know them, I don't care. I would not care. - I think even if you man did it to me, I still wouldn't even be vexed. If I'm actually deep in it, because what I'm asking you to do

is keep me in the game so that the end, I can beat you out of that game. That's what I'm asking you to do. - You have to remember by this point, these men are aware that there's other opportunities to make money bar this 5 million. - Yeah, it's not the 5 million, it's not the be all end all. There's other opportunities. - You can make 25 grand in a mid game tomorrow. Do you see what I'm saying?

- That's a business. I would dash. - Anyway, there's another game where it gets heated. There's another game where you're in groups of three and every group of, let's say there's like 50 groups of three. They're all in cubicles, all in individual cubicles. There's a phone and there's handcuffs. Two of you can leave that room and one of you have to stay.

and people think, or people start to decide how they're going to vote who stays and who goes. There's one, if and when you watch it, there's one cubicle, bird's eye view, you wanna punch someone in there 'cause you just wanna punch it. And there's another cubicle, conniving. But it's juicy the way they do it, it's conniving.

But my question to you guys, if three of us were in the room, what game would we play to decide who stays and who goes? Because only two of us can leave. One of us can stay. One of us will be eliminated. Has to be rock, paper, scissors, surely. Just quick one and done.

Two out of three Yeah always two out of three But It can't be anything Based on like Skill Yeah Or reaction time Okay Or strength Or whatever Okay Because then someone's Livid Yeah but like I said You can ask for anything There's a phone that you can Literally ask for anything Oh

- Oh, and they'll bring you shit? - And they'll bring you shit. So it doesn't have to be what's in the room. It doesn't have to just be like rock, paper, scissors. It doesn't have to, it can be anything. - Oh, okay. - It can be anything. Like some of these men ask for horses. Don't ask me why, just a pair. 'Cause they were bored for five, you're in the room for five hours. - Oh yeah, I'd be asking for staff. - You can ask for anything you want, but by the time the five hours is done, someone has to be eliminated or all of you are eliminated. - One person or all three? - Yep, after the five hours. - Surely it would have to be something luck-based to,

- To make it fair, I guess. - Like a dice roller type thing? - Yeah. Yeah. Roll the highest. You roll the highest. - Oh, stress me. - Short straw. - That was stress me out. - I wouldn't wanna roll the dice. - Yeah, my hand would be shaking. Damn. - Pull a short straw or something like that. Like yeah, something luck based where you,

- Where the one person who goes out can't be mad at the other two. - Yeah. - Because it just, if it happened the next day, it might not have been you. - If it was RPS and it was two out of three and I lost, I promise you I'm blocking the door and say three out of five. I'll block the door. - There's one guy they did, I think they threw, tried to throw paper into a bin. The guy that missed it was the guy that suggested the game. - He would have been... - So it was two gay guys and a girl.

He threw it, he missed, the other two go in. He was like, "Oh, fuck sake, fuck sake, fuck sake." The black guy came over to him and was like, "Are you sure you're okay?" He's like, "Nope, psych, none of us are leaving." After he chose the game, these men were crying. He says, "Psych, none of us are leaving." - How does he get to decide though? Why does he get to decide? - Because he, what? Why does he get to decide that none of us are leaving? - Yeah. - Because he's not, he lost the game and he's not leaving.

- 'Cause he's not putting the handcuff on. - Yeah, he's not putting the handcuff on. - You're not gonna force him to. You see what I'm saying? He's a grown man. - I'll force him to. - So he said everyone's done? - Everyone's leaving, bro. - Okay, let's say, yeah, it's me, you and Rem are playing. - Yeah. - And we play this game. - Yeah. - And Rem loses. - Yeah. - And he decides, I ain't leaving. - After all the laughs have stopped. - Yeah. - That's nuts. - Would you?

- Do you think we would get violent with him and force him to put the thing on? - I think so. - I think so. - Phone expects it. - Yeah, I think so. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I don't know how it would work. - I don't know how it would work. - Yeah, but yeah. - I don't know, he'd get scrappy. He'd get scrappy. - It would. - Oh God. - That's too much. - Is this psych? None of us are leaving. - Is it the others who were crying? They're actually crying their eyes. Oh, nah bro. That's scary. - Oh, there's some conniving stuff in that game. - We're not leaving.

- I'm gonna swallow spit, bro. - 'Cause you think, okay, thank God I've got a chance to win five M's. He's like, "Psych, I'm not going anywhere." - We're not leaving until I win. - Yeah, I'm not going anywhere. - Fair. I came in for five M's. - Yeah, he was 10 toes. He didn't give a fuck. - That would make me laugh.

God, it was so jarring. - I think I would, I really would have a fight with someone in there though. There's no way someone's suggesting a game, he loses, it's like, "Psych, I ain't leaving." And I'm like, "Well, you are." So what are you on about? - You'd have to get physical. - Yeah, you're leaving in handcuffs or in a body bag. - Make your choice. - Yeah, so "Wagwan." - Yeah, I definitely suggest this other show. - I'm watching this tonight. - There's only a few episodes out so far, it's weekly. I think there'll be 10 episodes. It's on episode four, I believe.

- Fair play, I did hear it's like the most successful show Amazon Prime has ever made. - Really? - Yeah. - Fair play. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Fair play. - We got views. - Yeah, also three out so far. - Well played, man. - Yeah, man, fuck these, fuck those stats. - You think it's good? - Oh yeah. - Okay, cool. Okay, well played to him. I've got one recommendation. - Go on. - It's called "Industry". - Okay. - It's been out for a while. I've been watching it on BBC Three.

BBC iPlayer or whatever, but there's other ways. Apple TV, Prime Video, you can watch it. There's ways to watch it. It's about, it's basically like similar to Succession slash Suits. It's basically like Canary Wharf banking people in London, graduates, like a graduate scheme situation where they're trying to, they work in like a stock exchange or something like that. Is that Juntowl?

- Oh no, that's the, Jun Tao's the white guy, innit? - No, I know what you mean. - Yeah. - From the bad guy from "Rush Hour." Jun Tao is the white guy, I believe. - Yeah. But that's the guy that says Jun Tao. - Oh, yeah. - This is the bad guy, I believe. - The bad guy from episode one, no, from the first one? - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Oh yeah, it is. Yeah, so it follows just like a bunch of graduates who've just- - You froze. - Yeah, I did, I did, I did, I did, I did. I couldn't move my head, but I could only move my eyes.

- I had to. - I had to let the penny land, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, you froze. - Yeah, I did bro, I didn't know where this was going. But basically it just shows like, I'm only on season one, but it's showing like mad toxicity in this like workspace. - Makes sense. - And there's drug use, this is the one I said, there's drug use in this. - I'm not surprised. - And there's one brayer, there's one scene, I won't do many spoilers, but basically there's one scene, yeah, where fucking,

this geezer is shooting heroin in a suit shop. And one of the graduates walks in and sees him in there. And the guy's like either come in and close the door or leave and close the door. And the guy that walks in loves like taking pills in the night out or doing whatever. He walks in and sees this needle and says, oh my God. So when they get back to the office,

the graduate bros looking at him like big man. And then the brer who's, he's basically worked there for a long time, pulls him to the side and he's like, big man, it's only an addiction if you can't afford it. - Oh, that's sweet. - That's so yeah. It's only an addiction if you can't afford it. And then he just cracks on with his work. And I was like, damn, but bro,

One thing I'll say about this show One It's fucking intense Okay It's intense Because they're dealing with billionaires All the clients are billionaires Okay So there's moments in there Where they like Might fuck up a trade Or something like this And they're trying to like Talk their way through it Or figure it out And obviously the stock market Is always going up and down Always going up and down So they're basically like Hedging bets on what's gonna happen And they're

similar to pursuit happiness they're on a graduate scheme and in six months time they're half of them get sacked okay and half of them will have jobs okay so that for the six months they need to be the best they can possibly be okay they're fighting for life yeah they're fighting bro and like one thing i would say about this show so far they eat in this show there is so much head in this show what it's

Out of control What? Every episode I've seen so far And I've seen a few Someone's eaten pussy Really? Really if you had Really and truly What? They eat pussy in this show Way more than they give head What?

- Way more. - It's always the case. - Yeah, bro. Donnie's eating a poem in there. There's one scene that you would die at. - Yeah. - Yeah, there's a boyfriend and girlfriend and like they're, the girls, there's one day the girl's horny 'cause she's been flirting with a guy at work and it's got her riled up. So she's in the kitchen and then she's lips and lips in her mouth and she's like, "You used to love going down to me." Her man's like, "I still do." She looks him dead in his eyes, she's like, "Eat me then." Grabs his head, push it.

Eats her out And she gets the camera Takes a picture Sends it to the bro from work What? Yeah Gets that camera Takes a picture of him eating porn Sends it to the bro at work The bro at work's losing his mind Because she's When I say she's Pete You would die What she does to this bro at work You would You would physically collapse Sexual tension Yeah Aww bro And she

flirts with him in front of a man, but like, he's discreet. - The man doesn't know, yeah. - Obviously you've seen "Dark", so you know the sexual tension between, there's a couple, there's a guy that's married and he's cheating on his wife with another woman in the show that's also connected with this thing. But when I say every time they link or see each other's faces, it's like auras around them and attracting them.

- They meet in like an alley one time and they don't say words. They just walk towards each other. They grips each other on fucking lips. It's raunchy, bro. - Yeah. - Raunchy. - There's saliva glands in my mouth I don't know exist until sexual intercourse is induced. - 'Cause you're just salivating.

Salivating bro Watching this show The main character Is one mixed race ting Oh yeah yeah I saw When I say Every interaction She has With a br'er In any sexual nature She's sitting on his face She sits On his face Immediately bro Damn She doesn't play When it comes to Getting her poor mate And then there's This black br'er here Gus David Johnson Yeah He plays a gay brother Okay When I say Yeah

When I say this brer, he's doing a ting with another brer from work who's got a girl. - Yeah. - He doesn't play by his man like that. - Okay. - He wants that arsehole when he wants it. - Oh, he's top? - Yeah. - Gas is top? - I think they interlink. - Okay, okay. - But when I say, when he wants that batty, he's getting that batty. - Yeah. - Bro, there's one time, yeah. There's one time there on a night out and he gets tipsy.

And he goes in the, he's roommates with Harry at the top, second picture in. Yes. So they're on a night out and Dave was like, fuck this. Leaves, get a taxi. And he's like, take me to Clapham. Harry runs out and he's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're not going to Clapham. Let's just go home. Let's go home. And he's like, shut up. Take me to Clapham. Pulls up to his man's yard. Starts banging down the door at two in the morning. The man comes downstairs like, what the fuck are you doing? My girl's asleep. He's like, shh.

And he starts walking in. And when I say the Bray is trying with all his might to push him out, he just walks like it's nothing. He was like, like the zero resistance. His change in gait doesn't change bro. He just keeps walking forward and he's giggling. And he's like, bro, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush. And he's like, get the fuck out. Grabs his thing, lipses him, pushes into the living room. The white Bray can't handle this amount of sexual tension. When I say he backs off his trousers,

backs off his trousers when he goes upstairs when I say the black bread bangs him it's nuts that scene I was like right and the mad thing is he backs off his trousers only passes by he keeps the trousers to his side he just gets past the hole he has no interest in taking the gums all the way off it's the equivalent of sliding the thing to the side when I say he wiggles his hips like that

Bro-ski tongue, spits in his hand, bangs him. - Jesus. - When I was at a watch, I gasped. - Oh my God. - He'll do anything for that ass.

He doesn't care that there's a girl upstairs. He'll do anything for that ass. That's tension. It is tension. It is tension. But also on a side note, he loves that guy. He doesn't want to have a girlfriend. He fucking loves. It's not just pussy to him. He fucking loves it. Okay, okay, okay. I'll add this to the list. It's a good show. It's one of them ones. Financial thriller, you know. Yeah, when you said about...

You had to turn the TV off because you knew you'd keep watching. That's how I was with this. Over the weekend, I wasn't getting sleep. I wasn't getting sleep and I had to turn this off and my brain was frying. Okay. I just want to watch more and more and more. Okay, okay. It's really, really good. I enjoy it. I told you I wanted to watch it months ago. Oh, I...

- Yes, yes. I feel like I recall him saying that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah bro, he told me a bunch of months ago and I was like, "Swear?" And I forgot about it. And then I was just looking for something to watch. Stumbled across this, haven't put it down since. - Fair play. - It's a show. - All right, all right. - But one thing, one critique I was to have, in the ways I've said, they force sex into it that doesn't make sense. - Oh, okay. - There'll be little side stories away from the workplace.

that are like sexually fueled, that they have zero bearing to storyline. It's just to add fireworks. - I feel like because none of us have been or are in a financial sector, I feel like maybe if you are in that sector, you're privy to knowing that obviously, well, we know that it's commonly known that there's drugs in the financial sector. It's known, but we're not in the financial sector, but we just know that.

Sex could also be an outlet That we don't know about Yeah these are stressed Yeah exactly So they need relief And that's So it's drugs and sex And going out Bro these men Coming to work with hangovers Every single day Every single day After the day's work They have to go out Every day bro Damn Drinking of drugs Drinking of drugs And banging banging banging

- Nah, that's not sustainable. - Yeah, bro. They let you know it's not sustainable. 'Cause there's a couple of days that Harry bear, he takes it too far a couple of times and he has to look himself in the mirror. - Fair play. - He takes it too far. He comes into work, muck. And people come past his desk like, "Big man, you fucking stink." And he's like, "Low it, man." - "Low me, man." - "Low it, man." It's like, "You're a fucking joke, man. You really are." It's a really good show. - I'll give it a watch.

Cool, man. Tweets of the week? Tweets of the week. Johnny Bravo ain't even have a plot. Just every day, where them hoes at? Bro, I thought about that show a little while ago. I was thinking, that show's kind of fucked. Yeah. Yeah, that show's kind of fucked. Do you know who I was thinking as well? I need to watch it again to actually figure this out. But, you know Powerpuff Girls? Yes. You know the mayor? Yes. And Miss Bellum? Yes. Is he trying to bang Miss Bellum or not?

- 'Cause I'm sure there's episodes where she's like holding him and shit. - Miss Bellum's a jawn by the way. - Yeah, he was all over her bro. - Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I'm sure he wanted to bang her. He's down for Miss Bellum. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - He was always asking her to pick him up, man. - Yeah, bro. - Yeah. - Yeah, that's fucked.

yeah he was down i was getting gas i.e like pumping gas uh this lady was pumping gas without a jacket on i noticed a dude in the car behind the steering wheel i said why the he ain't pumping the gas she said who i said him in the car she said that's my mother moral of the story mind your business that's my mother oh my god oh my actual god she must have had a buzz car or something she was butters bro

To have that confident, to be that confident. Why the fuck ain't he pumping the gas? That's my mom. I will drive off with M-TAC. Mind your business. Mind your business. Mind your business is the utmost. You might not understand how much I mind my business. Oh, I do. Speaking of minding my business, there's one thing I've actually had enough of. Okay. So,

Why do you always cringe when I'm about to say something like this? - 'Cause I just don't know where it is. - I don't know where it's going, yeah. - Bro, in this building, yeah? On the first floor, men's toilets, stool number one. Some motherfucker, all of 2024, wants to piss in there and just leave. He just pisses in there. - Oh, in the actual toilet, okay. - Every time I walk in there, there's fresh piss in there. - Oh, damn. - And I need to catch him.

Damn. I need to catch him, bro. I'm sick of it. That's fucking jarring. And I've been minding my business too long. And when I find out who it is, I'm not going to mind my business anymore. I'm going to flush the fucking toilet. Yeah, that's jarring. It's pissing me off. That's jarring. No pun intended. Right. I hate motherfuckers that kiss real good because now I'm finna get easy. I don't love you.

- Do you know what's actually always perplexed me? - What, go on. - That like women have so much power over like the sexual like landscape of what's gonna happen today. - Mm-hmm. - What's gonna happen today. - What's gonna happen today. - Yeah. - And the fact that they can hold a good lips and be like, "Oh, fuck it." It's not even like, they don't even have to do anything. They just have to turn the switch off. - Yeah. I'm finna get easy. - You're finna get easy. - That's just jokes. - Oh my God. All right, next one.

Why are women evacuated first in a disaster? So men can think of a solution in silence. - That was fucking stupid. - Oh, that's funny. - One minute you're young and wild. The next you're into air fryers. And that's on God. - That is on God. - That's on God. - I've been testing out. I got one of them Jules zones recently. - Yeah, the ninja. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Ninja Jules. - Yeah, that's me. - I've been testing that drawn out. - That's been me. - Wow. - That's been me. - Oven fries in there? - Yeah.

- Max Crisp? - Mm. - Disgraceful. - Fair play, fair play. Liking a song isn't good. This is me to a T by the way. Liking a song isn't good enough. I need to be able to call the artists and tell them they did a great job. - That is you. - That is me to a T. - Wow, well played. - This is a DM and a straight response. Yeah? Hey, quick question. Yeah, I fucked your nigga, bye.

She knew exactly what it was. She knew exactly what the question was. She's had that name memorized for time. Hey, quick question. Yeah, fucked your nigga. Bye. Asked and answered. She didn't even ask. She didn't even get to ask because I know why you're here. I know why you're here. We don't have mutuals.

Also, I hate when people start with quick questions. Do you know how many DMs a day I get of people saying, ah, James, I want to ask you a question and then just don't ask it. Because they want, it's bait. Yeah, they want me to be like, ah. What's the question? Hi Sarah, what's going on here? What would you like to ask? You're not getting to my general. You're staying in requested. All of you. 100. You're not going to my general. Some Muslim girls really be asking for Christmas gifts. Lol. This is supposed to be one of the perks of dating you.

No Christmas? No gifts. Oh yeah, no gifts. Bro, that's crazy. I literally asked our barber, because he's obviously Muslim. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I asked him like, oh, well gone for Christmas. And he was just like, obviously, nah. And I was thinking about like, but he was talking about like...

You're talking about like the future and like we're talking about like kids and shit and you're talking about the future in terms of like what the landscape looks like growing up in England. Being Muslim and not being a kid who just doesn't get presents. So what was it like?

- Normal, I guess, because I didn't get it. So it was normal. Does that make sense? - It does make sense. But like- - In comparison? - So obviously like you're at this, obviously there will be an age that you get to where you understand, like, I just don't get them. But was there ever a time like as a young'un where you're like going to school and everyone's talking about, I got this, I got that. And you're just like, I got nothing. - To be completely honest, there probably might've been, but I generally don't remember.

And I'm genuinely being honest. I genuinely don't remember. So I don't think it affected me that much for me to care that much. Does that make sense? - Yeah. 'Cause I remember there was a Jehovah's Witness girl called Hannah that I went to primary school with. Two things people want to shut up about. One, your name is spelled the same from as it is backwards. For some reason we found that fascinating. - Yeah. That's called a palindrome by the way. - That's called a palindrome. - Palindrome. - Palindrome. Never heard of that word in my life. Interesting. - Yeah. - Two, no birthday presents.

- Birthday presents? - Yeah, I'm pretty sure they don't celebrate. - They don't celebrate anything, do they? - Yeah. - No birthday presents? - Yeah. They don't celebrate nothing. Like that. I don't know what they celebrate, but they don't celebrate birthdays. - Christmas, understand, but birthday presents? - When I say you, man, how's getting cooked in year five? - I fucking bet. - Bro, not by me, but the girls weren't letting her get away with it.

They just weren't. You always have to ask them, you weren't the bully. I wasn't the bully, bro. But I was such a spectator. And I was minding my business. The only Jewish witness that can be considered a memorial of Christ's death. Christ's death. Celebrate the Jewish Passover. And the only time there was a communion of Jewish women was over strict lifestyle rules. Yeah, bro. She wasn't getting nothing. And when I say these girls were relentless. Oh, I can imagine. Yeah, bro. They were waving their Charlotte Tilbury all up in her face. Oh.

- Yeah, it was peak. - I feel like nowadays, like if I had kids now, I would get, well, for context, obviously, yes, I'm Muslim by birth, but I don't practice the faith. I would still give my kids Christmas presents because of the fact of the generation we live in now, they are going to be surrounded by Christmas even more. So for example, Mo Salah, devout Muslim, but his kids celebrate Christmas because they live in Liverpool.

bag of christians blah blah blah he does it every year push the tree blah blah blah it's like i feel like i understand it for your kids yeah i feel like as well like at least in this country i can't speak about two minutes like in like we said about liverpool bag of christians

I think it's past Christianity now, Christmas. Like even though it's literally called Christ mass. - Yeah, for sure. - Like the celebration of it, I guarantee like in, I reckon one more generation, you'll ask a random kid, what's Christmas about? He ain't saying Jesus. - Yeah, it's just a gift giver. - It's just bro, Santa and gifts and naughty or nice. That's all I'm here for bro. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, they're not gonna have any,

Like religious connotation To it whatsoever It's just It's a day of the year Where everyone gets presents I hear it If I've behaved myself I hear it I hear it So yeah Like that Doesn't surprise me That Broski gives his Yeah mum His kids gifts Yeah mum Makes sense Alright Speaking of Christmas Text and reply Merry Christmas I miss you Merry Christmas for sure gang Your hoes over here Drinking my cum Like it's eggnog Little nigger Nice

- Wait, what? - Mary, obviously he thinks he's, well, he's texting his girl, but the guy that this girl is banging has replied on the girl's phone. - Merry Christmas, I miss you. - Merry Christmas for sure, gang. Your ho's over here drinking my cum like it's eggnog. - Little nigga. - Little nigga. - Why would you wanna hurt a human being so badly? - Bro. - That's actual torture. Put me on my misery. - Eggnog. - Thing is, yeah.

there's nothing in her mouth and there's drinking yeah because there's swallowing and drinking the two different things yeah yeah she backs it yeah and there's she's drinking it she's drinking like exactly i'm drained your girl's draining me no that's that's what i'm hearing your girl is draining me how could you let her go stop because i'm on my knees stop stop oh yeah yeah nah draining me raining me

- On Christmas day? - I would break it, but I'm not strong enough. I wanna break it. - She's draining me on Christmas day. - Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah

use a public holiday type of thing, it could be Valentine's Day, it could be Christmas, it could be anything to message a previous ex or a previous love of my life and be like, listen. Like, you know how, you know when you see those memes of future and it's like, oh, I can't even think of a good one now. But for example, this Merry Christmas thing or I miss you, blah, blah, blah. And him thinking because of the holiday, she's going to be

- You know, willing to- - Festive and nostalgic. - Mm, but oh, this or that. - She's drinking another man's fluids. Drinking them, downing them like it's alcohol. - Eggnog. - Rewrite at dawn. - Rewrite at dawn indeed. Fuck. - The thing is we do, but I don't actually think I could tell you, man. I can't, 'cause I definitely can't show you the text. - You won't show us the text. You would paraphrase what he said.

- Because you- - I would say, "Oh, this bastard called me a little nigga and he's banging my girl." - That's all you'll give us. - Yeah, yeah. - That's all you'll say. - I couldn't let you find the actual text. - I wouldn't. I actually don't know what I'd do. If you show me that text, I wouldn't- - So, okay, role play is- - All right. - Fam? - Talk to me, G. - Do you remember Sharice? - Oh yeah, of course. You couldn't stop talking about her. - Fam, obviously I messaged her on Christmas, innit? - Shock. - That's a reply. - The nose flare. - Be serious, try not to laugh. - All right. - How are you still breathing?

How were you still breathing? Who is this guy? - A new man, clearly. - Lil nigga? Are you gonna have that? - He said she's drinking it. - I saw that and you know what in one ear out of the other, 'cause I know you're dying inside so I can't speak of that. - She's drinking it as we speak. What do I do? What can you do? - What do I actually do? - She's full. - You wouldn't say that to me.

I would have just said, you know, you're a rock bar. Yeah, you wouldn't say that to me. Job. Yeah, I got nothing left to lose. And then my boy's making jokes. She's full. There was one time, yeah, one of my boys, um...

- One of my boys had gone similar, he'd gone through like a breakup or something. Similar to your situation, he's drinking his sorrows. And I caught a glimpse of him, we were on a night out at a bar and I was doing something over here. Like I was either dancing or chewing throw to the toilet or whatever. And through the hustle and bustle, I caught a clear glimpse of him at the bar

with like a JD and Coke in one hand and he was sat at the bar like that and it looked like there was a spotlight on him. He was depressed. I was like burst out laughing. I burst out laughing. - It's annoying because if I was that guy in that situation,

Lights everywhere, music loud as fuck. I would hear your laugh. - Yeah. - I think that's how silent my surroundings would be. I'd hear your laugh so loud and clear. - Bro, there's something about, this is horrible part of my personality. There's something about like emotional turmoil that I find so hilarious. - Same. - There's been times where I know you're going through shit and I take it very seriously, but we could be sat here and if it's like, I could be sat on my phone like this.

And then all of that, if I know you'll go through, so you might not even be showing me because I know what's going on. You could actually go, "Yeah." - I know, I know, I'll cry laughing. I'll cry laughing. Bro, it's too funny. - I know. - Fuck. - I'm the same. It's annoying 'cause I'm the same. - It is true. - Literally laugh at the, find the funny in almost everything. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Literally. - You literally have no choice. That's why I was thinking about like, that's like what Specs is like.

Specs laughs at his life too much He said a joke the other day You man That knocked us out What was it again? I can't remember He said yeah Let me see if you man can get away with not laughing Specs said the other day We were talking about like growing up And I said Oh when I was younger My mum When I turned 14 My mum said I should be cooking my own meals And doing my ironing or whatever And he said Oh is that what mums are supposed to do? And I was like I guess so And he said Because mine just cut

- Yeah, he said, "My mum just dipped at 10." - At 10? - And took plus four with her. - It fucked us up. - Yeah, bro. I was mugged. - It fucked us up. - I was mugged. I was trying so hard not to laugh. - Yeah, he said it so casually. "Mine cut at 10." - Yeah, she cut at 10. - Cut. - Yeah, we moved on to godparents and he was like, "Yeah, I've never met mine." So my mum took plus four.

Bro, it's horrible. Let's say he laughs at his life. Oh my God. Left me with my stepdad who's white. Funniest shit I've ever heard, man. Funniest guy. That guy's two jokes. He's the least serious person I've ever met. Fucking funny bastard. Right, guys.

We actually do love you. There's things that we say and sometimes we just say stuff. That's why you can't take us too seriously. Because we really do say stuff. Some we mean, some we don't. Most of the time we don't. Most of the time we don't mean it. But when we say we love you, man and gal, we love you. 100%. This is the actual best job in the world. I'm trying to express gratitude a lot in my life. Good. Yeah, every day I'm trying to express gratitude. Good. And so far so good. It's making me feel good about myself. But

- Fucking hell, this was a funny episode. - It was a very good episode. - I appreciate you, G. - Appreciate you too, dog. - Stop exfoliating. - I shall. - You don't need it. - Debatable. - Okay. - I don't need it now. - Don't need it as much. - As much. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I know we've already had this conversation on Patreon. Patreon.com/shitsnkistreepanama. - 10p a day. - By the P. - To SNG. - Can I be candid? - Of course, that's why we're here. - I was terrified when I saw your face this morning. - Yeah, I was terrified when I saw my face last night.

I thought you'd been up all night crying. I thought something really drastic had happened. It looks like you've been up all night crying your eyes out. - Yeah, it felt like it bro. It's due to over-exfoliation. - It's aged you fag. - It has! You man, it's aged you. - Yeah, the next time you man see me on camera, I won't be here, so it's fine.

- It can't. - It won't. - Okay, I believe you. - I was gonna say, obviously we're on camera tomorrow. - Oh, we're recording tomorrow, so it's still gonna be there. - Probably gonna be there, but I meant like YouTube, Patreon. It won't be there. - Can I say it without the glasses, is that okay? - No. - Is it worse? - No, you can't. - I said, is that okay? So we can laugh even more. You can laugh now.

- Yeah, these drones are baggy, bro. - Yeah, about? - These drones are baggy. - Oh. - Yeah, baggy and spotty. - Fuck, man, my boy. - Yeah, it's peak. - They got him. - They got me, man. They got me, but give me a week. - I'm sorry, G. - Give me four more days, I'll be calm. - And I'm vexed now because I've laughed. Something's gonna happen to me. Not necessarily with face care or something like that, but something, something noticeable. - What, karma? - Yeah. - Nah, you'll be fine. - I hope so, because I don't take lightly to jokes.

Especially by my appearance. I don't take lightly to it. I really don't. I really don't. - Yeah, I knew what I was walking into today. - Really? These men were shocked. I saw it from there. When I brought it up, these men were like, "Oh, what's that?" Yeah, nah, nah. I saw it, I saw what's in. You weren't even facing me. I saw you looking at your phone. I was like, "What?" I said, "What?" - Yeah, it was terrible last night, James. Terrible.

- But you were fine when I saw you, 'cause I left you at like what, three o'clock? - Yeah. - So between three and- - I don't know what happened, it just- - Did you feel it coming on? - Kind of, yes. Kind of, yes. And yeah, there's nothing I could do about it. I just had to rehydrate because it was itchy. - God damn, dude. - Yeah, so a lot of aloe vera. - I bet.

- Yeah, man. - Game. - The perks of skincare sometimes. Yeah, the game's the game. - I'm also gonna say this before we wrap, you're so good at taking adversity. - I crumble to it. - Yeah, I guess I feel like it's easy to, once it's been acknowledged, because I know it's on my face and all it takes is especially you to say something about it. I can't deny it. I'm not gonna sit here and deny it. Do you see what I'm saying? I'm not gonna sit here and be like, "Oh, why did you say that?"

The easiest thing for me to do is get on with it. - 100%. And also there's nothing to be ashamed of. You're over exfoliated. That's not the worst thing in the world. If you had been up all night crying and you're all here, I don't want to talk about it. - Yeah, that could have been different story. - Yeah, that could have been. And I would have to talk about it. 'Cause I'm talking about nothing else. I wouldn't be able to. - Yeah. But damn fair play. - Love you guys. Love, love. - Acast powers the world's best podcasts. Here's the show that we recommend.

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