JAMES LEARNS YORUBA! | EP 453
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But, Abu, when do we make my nuggets?

And Ralph's. Consigues productos para todos los gustos. Y tendrás acceso a más de $600 dólares semanales en ahorros con cupones digitales. Porque lo bueno se comparte. Ralph's. Fresh para todos. Alright, you ready? You have to say it. I'm not saying it. No, I'll go like this. Expressions! Guys! Girls! Right, before we get started.

I think I'm talking to everyone in the room right now. I need this episode today. You need this episode today? Yeah. I'm in a foul mood. Oh. Why? I have no fucking clue. Just a mindset thing? You woke up this way? Yeah. Interesting. I just woke up this way. How was your sleep? Bad.

You know I was livid Okay I I've been watching this anime Called Summertime Rendering Yeah On Disney Plus Yeah It's pretty decent Okay But it's been knocking me out Okay So every night I've been putting it on Trying to get through At least one episode And it doesn't seem to matter What time I put this bitch on I'm going to sleep And I love it Okay So I put an episode on Yeah yeah yeah

Daddy's dozing now. And I'm like, gang. And then I just reached for the remote to just turn it off. And as soon as I'd done that, turn it off. Awake. Awake. And I was like, not good. So I tossed and turned for about 20 minutes, half an hour. I was like, I'm just going to put it back on. I'm hoping the same thing will happen again. Happened again.

and then i dreams last night okay random i keep i keep having dreams about um performing um us doing like live shows and something going wrong for example so the other night i had a dream it's two nights in a row yeah the other night i had a dream that we were doing a live show in an arena yeah and you were nowhere to be found

You just weren't there. And management were forcing me to do it by myself. And I was like, I'm not doing it without him. - Yeah, management. - And they were like, yeah, you are bro. Everyone's here. And the team was packed, packed bro. And for some reason, all my family and friends were there. All of my family and friends were there. And I was like, I don't know how I'm gonna do this. And I was in the group room and they kept bringing- - Trying to usher you in. - I was in the group room and they were giving me alcohol.

And I kept drinking, drinking. I was getting twists up and I was thinking...

Now Phil's here and I'm, no, he's not here and I'm drunk. This is gonna be the worst day of my life. I don't know what I'm gonna do. And also when they realize he's not here, they're not just gonna let me carry on. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - So they're gone, like what the fuck is gonna happen? - Yeah. - Bro, that was horrible. - Do you ever get to this part of the dream where you're on stage performing or do you wake up before then? - Yeah, so on the arena one, I never got to the part where I actually had to get up. - Okay. - Last night. - Phil will rock you before you wake up. - Last night for some reason, you thought it'd be funny to do some tag team ting, pause,

In your dream Yeah so we would do verses And then you would do yours And I wouldn't even be on stage And I would do mine And there was a bit For some reason People Okay Ah that's what happened The in our show There was a show And All for some This is so fucking random I had it in my head In our tour list Every I don't know what country We were fucking in But on my tour list Mm-hmm

every show started at eight. And then we had one show that was starting at seven and everyone turned up at eight. And then we were in the show and no one was there. And you were like, "Oh, do your verses." And I was like, "I think we should wait until people get here because clearly there's been something else." And you were like, "No, do it." You're like, "We don't have time. We're performing right now." And I was like, "Bro, there's no one here." And there was one girl on stage

And I brought her on stage and I was like, oh, we're gonna do some singing and shit like that. It's gonna be some fun. And she was like, yeah, I'm down. And what song did I put on an R&B song, like a bait one. I can't remember what one it was. And I gave it to Mike and I was like, all right, let's go. And there was literally like three people in the seats and you were behind a curtain like that. And I was looking at you like, this is hell. And then I was like, three, two, one. And the music started and she was like, I don't know this one.

And I was like, "Sure you do." - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah. ♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪ And she's like, "Ah, no, sorry." And then she was like, "No." And then instead of giving me the bike, she was like, "Put it on the floor." - Oh my God. - And it started rolling towards my feet. And I was like, "I wanna die." And then eight o'clock hit and everyone started walking through and you were like, "Gang." And you came up. - No, no. - And it was just like, "369." - My turn. - Everyone's like, "Oh shit." - It's a bike. - It is a bike.

And you were gas and I was like, I've been sabotaged. I really feel sabotaged. Oh, damn. So recently my shoes have been random and invasive. Yeah. But yeah, I woke up grumpy. Maybe it's from just that to be fair. Maybe. I also had an egg slut this morning and it spilled on my hoodie. You notice I'm wearing half a set. Yeah. It spilled all over my hoodie. I screamed. I screamed. Sorry, G. So yeah, it's not been going well.

Well, we're here now. It's going to be a good day. It's going to be a good recording. We're training today. Ellis is joining us in the gym as well. So yeah, man. Yeah, I'm scared. Yeah, I was going to say, are you sure you want to? What? It's really going to be a struggle. I'm not even trying to gloat or anything. It's going to be rough. I don't want you getting rhabdo or some shit. Getting what? Rhabdo. What's that? Oh, boy. Is it a disease or something? It's kidney failure, but it's caused by...

- Jesus, I was not expecting you to say that. - I think it's rhabdomyolysis is the full term for it. It's basically where, I'm not a doctor, but it's something along the lines of where you train really, really hard and what ends up happening is your muscle tissue starts to break down and it goes into your bloodstream

And then your kidneys can't process it and it causes your kidneys to break down. And it's rough. And it happens a lot with people who have never done much exercise. You do exercise all the time, I know you do. But it usually happens with people who have never done exercise before and you go in and smash them. And then

And they get such crazy, crazy muscle pain. - Yeah. - And the key symptom is it, for it to know that you've done it, is if you piss, your piss comes out like Coke. - Coke? - They say your piss looks like Coke.

And then if that happens, go to the hospital. Yeah. When I was a PT, there was a guy called David Watson. His first ever session wasn't with me, but his first ever session with another one of the PTs. Yeah, he did a crazy session and then he...

He missed his session like three days later. So VT called him and was like, "David, is everything all right? I just wanna make sure you're okay." And he's like, "I can't walk." And they were like, "Oh, so muscle stiffness is common." He was like, "I can't walk, it hurts so much."

And they were like, oh, sorry. We probably went a bit too hard on the first session to try to do some stretching. And he's like, I can't fucking walk. And he said, my piss looks like coke. And the PC said, what? He was like, go to the hospital now. And he's like, what, what, what? He's like, get to the fucking hospital.

So yeah, went to the hospital bro, sorted them out. - Jesus Christ man. - Rabdo is no joke. - That's crazy. - A lot of CrossFit people get it because they train so, so, so hard. - Intense. - Rabdo is no joke. So I'm just saying. - Well to be, I can go off and do other bits anyway. If the leg workouts are getting too crazy, I'll just go and do something else. - Also fair. - I mean. - Jump on the treadmill, stair master, fucking whatever. - It's fair.

But I know you, you're a headstrong you. - Yeah. - I don't see us being three sets of leg press in and you being like, to be fair, Jens, it's a bit too hard. I'm just gonna jump on the treadmill for a bit. I think you're gonna be like, "Now fuck this." - I guess we'll see. - I guess we will see. - All right, cool. - I guess we'll see. But anyway, you had a PSA? - I do have a PSA. Guys, girls, we are, like we said, we are coming to Australia and we are coming to New Zealand all throughout February. Now,

As you know, we're going to be there for five weeks and each week we are going to need a fucking haircut. Team, patrons, cult babies, everyone on the other side of the world, I need recommendations. Facts, man. Specifically for the Afro-Caribbean hairs that we have. Yeah? I don't need none of them other ones. Them other ones? Them other ones. You feel me? If you've never trimmed...

a black cute before, I don't want your recommendation. - Facts bro. - I don't. And this is, you know, respectfully, I need trims whilst we're out there. So please, please, please, please, please send your recommendations and yeah, hopefully we can get shit popping and we can,

get fucking good trims while we're there get good trims because i'm not dealing with what we dealt with yeah you can't do america times two um some of the trims you got out there were heinous and i've literally never looked the same and it was it was very very very very very um disheartening what that boy did to me pause yeah it was it wasn't he wasn't it was unruly it wasn't sanctioned it was unruly yeah and i know when we left

his boys would poke fun at him. They must've been because that was out of order. - It was. - I was out of order what he did to us. - And he took ages. He took ages for that monstrosity. - My skin was red raw. From what he did with that scalpel, my skin was red raw after that. That was the worst day of my life. - Yeah. - And I fucking hated it. And I knew that stubble was gonna kick in like a motherfucker. - Didn't it just? - What he did to you was unfair. - Yeah.

- Yeah. - That was bullying. - It was, but two trims were just heinous. - Yeah, that top right corner was. - Yeah. - Yeah. - So please, please guys, you've seen what a head top looks like when we've got fresh trims. Please, please, please send some recommendations. I know there's Donnies out there that look like us, that have hair like us, that have gotten trims

- Properly there, you feel me? - Yeah, it has to be patterned. - Yeah, we need the recommendations. - Cool. Gang, okay, that was a good PSA. 'Cause I'm actually down for that as well. Al Barber offered his services in Australia. - He did, but I was thinking like, how is that actually gonna pattern?

- See what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. How is that actually gonna pattern? - He's gonna have to lower his prices if that happens. - Yeah, yeah. - Because his day-to-day price is already too much. - Yeah, it won't make a difference. He can charge us for free. It won't make a difference. The flight then and back in the telly alone. - Madness. - It's madness. - Tellies. - Tellies, exactly. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. It would be insane. - Yeah, so it doesn't matter. He can charge us zero P.

- Fuck man. But yeah, I want some healthy trims in. - Same, same, same. - I wanna feel good. - Same. - But I also, I need consistency because I'm not going from Perth, buff trim to Sydney, dead trim to Melbourne, fucking buff trim to fucking Brisbane, dead trim. - So I think what we need to do is get a trim the day before we fly. Then when we land in Perth, probably like a couple of days before the show, get a touch up.

- Yeah. - And then in Adelaide, touch up. Sydney, touch up. So it's never ever too full. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - So they just follow the fucking lines. - They're not starting from a blank canvas. - Follow the lines, clean up the sides and line up the beard. That's it. - Yeah, I'm not asking for a miracle. - Yeah. - Just do as you're told. - It might be a miracle, but I feel like that's the best cause of action. - 'Cause real talk, let's just get on with it.

There's not that many black people there. - There are. - There just isn't. I've seen the news. - Can we search the population of black people in Australia? - I'm pretty sure the total population, by the way, is like 25 mil. - Of Australia? - Yeah. - Google it for me, please. - The whole population, that's less than half of here. And their country is 10 times bigger. - Damn.

- 25 mil? - Yeah. - We're like 60 or something. - Yes, or 70 bro. - Fuck, 26. - 26.6. - Damn. - Yeah bro, there's hardly anyone over there. - 400,000. - 1.6% of the Australian population are of African origin. - Hmm, interesting. I wonder where they, 'cause I'm assuming there's like, there'll be a specific city where most of them like,

Congregate. - Congregate. - I don't think it's gonna be that spread. - Yeah, I'm not being the only black guy in the city every time, in every city. 400K is enough though. It's not much. - 400K warrants at least 70 barbers. - At least. - Yeah, one man can't be cutting all these lot. - One man cutting 40,000. 400,000 is impossible. - Yeah, so yeah, we're...

we'll be fine also um sam my barber yeah he he lived in new zealand for a while oh yes i remember you telling me yeah so yeah something going on yeah fair fair all right afro cuts barber master barber all right cool the hey yo idris will idris will smith

- Okay. - Fucking everybody hates Chris. - Yeah. - Sway Lee. - Okay. - He's hardly got a RZA. He's hardly got the stuff at the top. Pause. - Okay. - This your boy in Sydney. - This is Sydney? - This is Sydney, yeah. - What's his name? Trey something. - Trey Alexander. - Say less. - Trey Alexander, we're coming. - All right, cool, yeah. - Pause. - Did we even look at the trims by the way or was he just.

- Oh, you're too fair. - Yeah, we just saw celebrities. - Oh yeah. - I didn't see one trim. - That was under my work. That is under my work. - Oh, oh yeah, but it's- - These aren't trims. - They're not trims, they're just people. - Well, that's, I don't know what to say. - I'm not blaming you. - You're not blaming me. - It's just facts. - I'm still gonna go.

- All right, gang. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. - All right. - Actually, no, no, no, there's a couple of trims there. - Yeah, a couple of trims. - No, no, no, there's a couple of trims there. - All right, Trey Alexander, Sydney, you're booked. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - You're booked for Sydney. - Keep that week free. - Yeah, facts. - 'Cause boy, yeah. - Yeah. - It's gonna be a daily lineup. My skin's gonna be red raw, of course. - Ooh. - Ooh. - That's a-- - Ooh, that pro is-- - That pro is-- - Wow. - Yeah, say less.

- Yeah, there's not a hair out of place. - That afro is clean. - It's the cleanest afro I've seen. - Yeah, he's smug with it as well. He knows just how good that looks. - He's smuggy with it. - Damn. - Fuck. - All right. - All right, fair play. - All right, cool, cool, cool. - Okay, okay. Thank God for that. - All right. - That's one city out of a hundred sorted. Okay, cool. - Cool. - Speaking of sub-Saharan, I need to learn some Yoruba.

Okay Just for If I'm gonna If I'm gonna If I'm gonna do stuff I wanna be multilingual Okay So what What do I need to learn? What's essential? Bawoni means how are you? Bawoni So B-A-W-O-N-I Okay yeah Bawoni Bawoni

- Yeah. - Yeah. - How are you? - How are you? - Okay, cool. - And to reply, say "Mowa". That means like, I'm okay. It's just like informal. - All right, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. - So say it. So say "Baweni". - What's the second thing? - Mowa. - Mowa. - Mowa. M-O-W-A. So two separate words. - Two separate words. - Yeah. - Mowa. - Yeah. - Yeah, not bad, not bad, not bad, not bad. - All right, come on, come on. That's boring stuff. Give me the good stuff. - Oh, I feel like I need...

I need more context. I don't... Off the bone. All right, let's go in the situation. Okay. I'm frustrated. Yeah. So I've just said, okay, cool. I've come in here like today and I'm fucking grumpy. Yeah, okay, okay. So you've said, and I've said... You won't even say more because you're not okay. Yeah, I'm not. I'm the opposite. I'm the opposite of Moa. You're not what at all. You're not what at all. Um...

I don't know why that's making me laugh. - You'll probably just kiss your teeth to be honest. - Yeah, fair. - Yeah, you'll probably just kiss your teeth. - Fair, I'll just kiss my teeth. - Yeah, 'cause we're all about the expressions. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - We're all about the expressions. - Is it easier if we just go as we go? If we just continue the episode and then you jump in with some shit? - Fair, fair, fair, fair, yeah. It probably would be. - All right, cool. 'Cause yeah, I don't want directions. I don't want, I want, I want, I want, I want,

- Yoruba James actually come out the way Yoruba James would actually say. - Fair play. - I don't ask for directions. - Fair play. - I want to act how I would act. - Fair play. - Yeah, I'm hungry, there you go. - Alright, you ready? You have to say it. - Aye, brother! - You have to say it. - I'm not saying that. - No, I'll go like this. - Expressions!

- You hit that too slick. - You got this, you got this, you got this. - No, I'm not doing that. - You got this, bro. - I'm actually not doing that. - Why? You man did your shailer like so last week and I was silent. You got this, you got this. - Bro, you hit it hard, bro. Say it again. - It been.

- By me? - I'm calm bro. I'm actually calm, I'm not even hungry anyway. I'm actually calm, I'm satiated. It's actually fine. Forget the whole seggers. - That means I'm full. - Yeah, was it good? - More you? - More you, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. - I'm full. That's so funny. That's so funny. Say less.

- Oh, you make me laugh bro. - Say less, okay. - Oh, 'cause you never say Yoruba shit. - To be fair, I only ever tend to dabble in Yoruba when I'm around Yoruba people. - Oh, like code switch as they say. - Exactly. So it's like, I don't necessarily, like when I'm here with you man, like there's not gonna be any jokes that are gonna be in Yoruba. So it's never gonna bring that side out of me. When I'm with J Toby on like a separate thing, that will probably come up.

I was waiting for that face. I was waiting for that face. Don't worry, don't worry. I was waiting for that face. Wow, that's fun.

But it's never gonna come up when I'm with you, man. - We don't do any Pato jokes either, so what's the whole point? - Yeah, true. - What's the point in being the only fucking Caribbeans if we don't even do Patty jokes? - That's our fault. - That's not up to me. - No, I'm not blaming you. I'm not blaming you. Obviously you've got your friends that you wanna do inside jokes with and we don't do anything. - It's not even inside, to be fair, it kind of is. - It is, because you man, 100% it is. - It is. - Because I've been there 100 times and you man are cackling. Cackling. And me and Rufus sit there like what?

- Yeah. - We're shrugging shoulders, bro. - We're shrugging shoulders. - Yeah, man, I only dabble in it when I'm around Yoruba people. - Fair. - Or Nigerian people, so. - Fair. - I mean, it's the only time it makes sense. - All right, I'm gonna learn it in secret and then something will come up and I'm gonna say something. - All right, I'll be gassed. - And you have to promise to laugh.

Promise to laugh? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I probably will, to be honest. Laugh because it will be inside joke. Not because I'm saying I'm hungry or something. Oh, I see, I see, I see. I thought you meant laugh because of the way you're saying it. No, no. That's what I was like, I probably will. Nah, I mean. Wow, nah. I'll make sure my dialect is calm. All right, gang. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cool, cool, cool, cool. I'm going to be surprised by you, man. Yeah, do a lingo. Say less. Okay, cool. Random. Before we continue. I was thinking the other day about

you in, what were we talking? We were talking about something and you were talking about like customer service and your management and all that kind of things. Okay. When you was working in restaurants. Okay. And like, I want to understand what was it? So for context. Yeah. I used to work in customer services for a time, but it was on the phone. So I could just hang up on man. And I've seen what, I've seen what pushing your buttons is like.

Okay. And to this day, I've always known what your job obviously was, but I've never had to see you do it really. And I've never actually had to see you deal with like disgruntled people. And it's always baffled me that you managed to do it. Okay. Because I've seen you be pushed and it doesn't, it doesn't look good. You shut down. I can't imagine you being accommodating. Um,

- So the question is how was I during those situations? - Yeah, how were you during those situations? - I think I've said this on here before, hospitality taught me patience. A lot, a lot, a lot of patience because you never know what prick you're gonna deal with because of how maybe their steak has been made or maybe their table's running late because there's someone else in the table and they've not paid or whatever. So it's like,

How I deal with it is just communication and if they are insisting on still being an arsehole type of thing, I just have to just...

I understand where you're coming from, this, that and the other and just literally try and affirm it. But when I go into the back of, when I walk away from that person, I'm chatting shit behind their back. So there's literally no other way you can deal with it. That's how it is in all forms of hospitality, all forms of like restaurant business or whatever. There was nothing else or there's no other way I could have dealt with it. And because I felt like, because I slowly started to deal with it from when I was a bartender,

before getting into management, it was somewhat innate. It was built in by a point. It was like second nature for me to understand how to deal with certain people and certain customers and what to say, what not to say, how to treat them, what to take off the bill and just long story short, find a way to turn them around. Because if their experience has started with, for example, it's a busy Saturday. Obviously Saturday predominantly is the busiest day of the week for restaurants.

regardless of the time. And let's say for example, it's three o'clock, there's a table of, there's a party of four waiting, but the table that they're meant to be on haven't even ordered desserts yet. So obviously now the people that, your party's waiting, you man are waiting, you're on a table. So you're waiting by the bar, okay? I will get you a round of drinks, sorry about the wait. I will speak to you, say, oh, let's go, let's take you to another floor because obviously we need the table back, but you can have some drinks upstairs. I know we're trying to push you more ever, but,

don't worry, we'll take you upstairs. You can finish your meal upstairs. And then once those two have been communicated, I will then speak to like the buses, the runners or whoever, get the table sorted, wipe the table, I'll drop the bill, probably take the payment upstairs. So we're not waiting for you guys to all like, let's do this bill here, blah, blah, blah. And then by that time, it should have been about five to 10 minutes. I'll check back on you, see how you guys are doing and then get your table ready. And then by that point, hopefully by the time your meal has started,

I'll come check like probably twice throughout the meal and I'll be making sure to drop the bill as well. So you've got like a familiar face, even though it started off with a terrible experience, you've got my face to be like, oh, at least he's tried to change it. Do you know what I mean? So you've got like a recognizable face. - Can we try? - Okay. - Can I be disgruntled if you turn me around? - Okay. - So I have to leave here happy? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, long story short, don't get me wrong. It doesn't happen every time. - Okay, cool. - But the aim of the game is to yes.

try and make someone leave happy. And if you're an arsehole, I was like, all right, cool, man. - Yeah. All right, cool. So in this game, you can't give up on me. - All right. - I'll try my best. - Yeah. - But you have to be realistic as well. You have to, that's the thing because there will be, I know what you're like and you have to be realistic 'cause there are certain things you wouldn't do in a restaurant. So let's just make this clear. - Yeah. Okay. Okay. I'm gonna be realistic, but I'm gonna be a realistic

Karen. Bastard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not realistic James. Okay. Because James will just shut up. Okay, cool. Eat his soup like a good little bitch. Okay, cool. And just complain to his girl. All right. But I will be a realistic bastard. Okay, cool. Talk to me. All right, cool. I've sat down. Yeah. Come and ask me how we're doing. Hi, guys. How are you guys doing today? How are we doing today? How are you doing today? Yeah. Big man, we've been here for 40 minutes. No one's even asked us for a drink. You've been here for 40 minutes? You don't even know that we've been here for 40 minutes. That's the joke.

- Well, I'm sure you guys were at the bar prior to sitting down, no? - Yeah, I drank water because I wanted to have a drink when I sat down. - Oh, my bad, I apologize. What's the name of the booking? - Is this guy fucking serious? Duncan. - Duncan, no worries, Mr. Duncan. I see there's four of you here. Sorry about that. Let me get your first round of drinks so I know what you guys have sorted and then I'll come back to you after that. Okay, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Round of drinks, boom, boom, boom, come back.

I will bring the drinks over as well. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I already know what you get. Here's your rum punch, sir. And then boom, boom, boom. - Thank you. - Sorry guys, I know you've been waiting for 40 minutes, but I'm gonna take your order straight away. I'll run you through the menu. So can I take your order please? - What do you recommend? I've never been here before. - You've never been here before? - And at this rate, I won't be coming back. But anyway, what do you recommend? What was your name, sorry? - Fuhad. - I'm not gonna say that, but.

You would never say that to me. I promise you, you would never say that to me. 'Cause I will drop everything. - Let me say a character. - Yeah, focus. - I'm not gonna say that. - You're not gonna say my name? - What do you recommend? - So I do recommend the Gochujang cauliflower. I also recommend the duck balls for starters. For mains, we do have a sliced ribeye, which is 40 grams per, 40, sorry, 400 grams.

400 grams of like you said. - Is there anyone here that actually knows what they're doing? Just a question. - I know exactly what I'm doing. - Is it 40 grams of 100? - It's 400 grams. - All right. - Pardon? Is there anything else you would like or should I go on with the rest of the table? - Carry on with the rest. I want to make sure everyone's set before I make my order. - Pause. Just so you know, in my reality, if you give me chewed, I give it back. But I give attitude back in like a

- Versace and everything. - Yes, yes. I don't even know how to explain it, but you will know that I'm not one to fuck with. But continue. - Okay, I'm really trying to stay focused. - Yeah, I know, I know, my bad. - And just try to stay frustrated. - Okay, cool, cool, cool. So I've taken all their orders. - Taken all orders. - And I've recommended you these dishes. So back to you. - How would you recommend having the steak done? - I would personally say medium, but it's up to yourself. - All right, cool. I want it medium. - Okay, medium's fine. - Sides?

sides we have rice, we've got broccoli, like I said we've got a cauliflower dish at the beginning but if you want rice, broccoli, we have a mushroom dish as well and we also have some sweet corn, some baby corn.

- What's the mushroom dish? - So the mushroom dish is four different types of mushrooms. You've got shiitake, you've got baby, you've got shimeji, and you've also got an American type of mushroom, which is pretty new on the market at the moment. So all of that is combined in like a small sauce, but it's also spicy at the same time. I would recommend it, but it's not something- - What's the sauce? I'm lactose intolerant. No one's even asked if I have any allergies. - We ask that at the end, if you don't mind. - At the end? - Yes. - I'll be dead at the end. - No, we ask that at the end of taking the order, not the end of the- - This guy's making it up as he goes along.

Do you want your food? - This guy's making it up as he goes along. - Would you like another server? Because you'll probably get the same experience. - No, because the only reason that you're serving us is because we were here for basically an hour before anyone came over. So we got stuck with you, didn't we? - But this is why I'm trying to change that experience. - Is there a manager? - I am the manager. - Oh, fucking hell. I'll have the mushroom dish then. If I die, I die, I guess. - What do you mean if you die, you die? - Can I have the mushroom dish, please? - You can have the mushroom dish. Do you have any allergies? Does anyone on the table have any allergies? - Do you even care?

- I wouldn't ask if I didn't. - Fair. No, we don't. - You don't have any allergies? - No, we don't. - So why would you die? - Are you taking the order or are you questioning me? 'Cause I'm a paying customer. - I've taken the order. I'm asking you why would you die. - I'm dying of boredom and starvation. - Okay. Your food's on the way. I put your starters through already. Don't you worry. - How'd you do that then? - I gave the list to my colleague. - I didn't see you do that. - That's the point.

- All right. - Cool, your starters will be on the way. - Thank you. - The mains will probably take about 30 minutes, but as we are a, the starters are on the way, the mains will be about 30 minutes, but as we are sharing restaurant, the food will come as and when, so there'll always be food on the table. Is there anything else I can get for you whilst I'm here? - What was your name again? - FoodHard. - Do you guys do tips or is it just like, it goes to everyone? - It's up to you, there's service charge on every bill, but you're more than happy to cash tip or card tip, it's up to yourself. - Well, I'm not paying for the dessert,

You've not ordered a dessert. No, but you haven't offered me a free dessert. We're not even at the dessert section yet. I've given you a round of drinks and I've just taken your main... And you think that's enough to you? A round of drinks? Do I think that's enough? This is the start of your meal. Do you think that's enough? I'm asking you, do you think a round of drinks is sufficient enough compensation for making us wait here for 40 minutes? Well, sir, if you'd like to wait till we get to the end of the meal, I'll at least wait till you get to...

after your mains we can talk about desserts. But I'm not speaking about desserts while I've taken your starters order. It doesn't make sense to me. - Yeah, that's fair. - Is there anything else I can do for you whilst I'm here? - No. - You sure? - Yeah. - Cool. Guys, I hope you enjoyed the rest of the email and I'm walking off and I'm calling you a prick.

And that's literally it. - Fair. - Working off corny prick and then letting, at that point I'll let everyone know that you're a 400. - Also 400. - 400 means you are irritating. - Fair. - Yeah. - 400? Why 400? It just is? - It's just a code. - 400. What are the other codes? I know 86. What are the customer codes? - Customer code 700 means you're lame.

- So if there's like a group of buddies on like table seven, we were like, or table six or whatever, we were like 700 on six, position two. - Say less, yeah. - Sorry, 400 doesn't mean annoying, 100 means annoying. - Okay, cool. - So it means you're an irritation. - Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, so we'll say 100 on six, position one. - Position one? - That'll be you. 'Cause you're at the head of the table. - Damn. - Yeah.

- Damn. - So that's how we do codes pretty quickly so everyone understands, but you don't understand. I could be taking your order and a colleague of mine could walk past me and I'll say 100 P1 this table or 100 P1 table six. - Has anyone who's ever worked, have you ever had a situation where people have worked in restaurants before and they understand the codes and they've been like, what the fuck? - Yes, but not in a negative way, but not with me. I've heard it happen to other people. I think this happened to Bella and someone else. They were...

I can't remember, they were in a restaurant somewhere and they went to the toilet and one of the chefs shouted, "700 on the walk!" And they looked back and was like, "Safe."

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Mad. - Look back and say safe, so. - All right. - You never know who knows these kind of lingos, but yeah. - Fair. - But I would let the rest of the management know, and I would go to the chef as well, ETA on table six, for example, let's push that because I explain everything and then. - All right, bet. - Turn you around. - Cool. - Yeah, man. - Thank you, you turn me around, pause, pause. - Glad I did. - You got a dilemma for us, no? - I do.

I'm a married man but I also have a side chick whom I've been meeting secretly for lots of fun and fantasies. She's the only side chick that understands that I'm married and doesn't give me pressure and trouble so I'm very happy with her. Recently I finished building my new home so I decided to do a little housewarming party with my friends at the new building without informing my wife. All my friends came with their girlfriends and side chicks so I also went with mine.

- The fuck? - We had lots of fun. Loads to drink and we ate all day. When the party was over, I spent the night with my girl at the new house till the following morning. Till the following morning when we were about to leave, my girl suggested to me that she wants to stay behind to clean and tidy up the place before she left. Since- - This is side chick? - This is side chick. - Okay, cool. - I thought it was a good idea. I gave her the keys and left without thinking twice.

Two weeks later, I called to meet my girl at my house, at the new house, only to find out she has packed in her things and has been living there with her parents and her siblings. She lied to her parents that I bought the house for her and they refused to leave.

I threatened to involve the men in black, but she has also threatened to expose me to my wife and leak some sensitive content of our secret affair and some naughty things we've done whenever we link up. I never knew this girl was recording us when we're getting intimate. Now, my wife is asking me questions about the house and she's demanding that I take her there to go and inspect the place, but I've given her loads of excuses and lies upon lies.

I've even ran out of excuses. How do I get this girl out of my house without her family exposing me to my wife? Please, I need advice. I will be in the comment sections. Charge it, bro. I'll run up in there with... To be fair, I'm actually not playing these games. Okay. There's no way...

she can post up with her family in my yard. And then even once I get her out, what she's just gonna, that's it? She's just gonna dip forever? - Yeah. - Nah bro, it's charged. I'm running up in there and dragging everyone out by the hair. - Yeah, but then what's the aftermath of that? - I lose my wife probably. - Damn.

- Yeah, yeah. - It's all good bro. It serves me right. - It does. - In the family home. - It does serve you right. It does serve you right. There's no- - There's literally nothing else to chat. - Yeah, there's no win-win out of that. - Fuck. - Yeah, man. It's peak. I'll be in the comments as well. - I'll be in the comments. - Yeah, there's literally no way, unless you can find some dirt on her. That's the only way to get out of this. - Yeah. - But I don't see that happening. - Yeah, neither do I. - She's clearly got nothing to lose.

- Facts. - Considereously brought the whole family there, moved all stuff in and blah, blah, blah, and lied to the family and said, "Oh, he bought me this house." - Yeah, he bought this house for me, for us. We're in here now. I'm sorted. - I mean, okay, yeah. Upon reflection, I might just, depending on how wealthy I am in this situation, I might just get a new house. I might just start again. - You're gonna have to. - This is crazy. - Yeah. Consequences. - Consequences, bro. - Yeah. - Right. You said you got something random to talk about. - Yeah, man.

Oh, Kane needs to win animation of the year. Fucking hell. I'm on, I've watched episode seven. Spoiler in three, two, one.

- Both fights with Jinx and the Pops and Vi and the Pops. The, the, you've seen it all right? Where you up to? Sorry, I should have asked that first. - I'm up to. - It's all out by the way now. - It's all out, the whole season's out? - Yeah. - Okay. - So it's three, three, three. - I've watched three in three. - Okay, okay. - So I've watched. - So you're on episode six. So you've seen six, you're on seven. You're going to seven. - Yeah, I've seen. - You would have seen what I'm talking about then. - Okay, okay.

Because if you've seen the second half, if you've seen the first three and the second three, you've seen exactly what I'm talking about. So...

I love, first of all, it's fine, it's fine. First, I'm not going to go into too much spoiler. I've said what I needed to say on that bit. First of all, I love when they do backstories or like a flashback or any form of like music type of thing. The animation style is very different. Yeah, 100. The animators have worked overtime in this one. Overtime, bro. Overtime. It's given me, is it Into the Spider-Verse? Which one's the second one?

- Across the Spider-Verse? One of them anyway. - Yeah, I remember. - Yeah, the animation is- - It's unbelievable. - Unbelievable. The fight scenes. Have you seen season one? - Oh, this mother- - Come on, man. I was- - The way you grabbed your ears, bro. I was like, oh shit. Okay, he's in. - No, I'm not yet. Soon come. Soon come. - All right, man. - Let's remember the credit we gave me yesterday for being- - What, from "The Fall"? - Yeah, "The Fall". You guys haven't seen that yet? - That's from 2013, bro! - All right, so why haven't you seen it yet?

- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I haven't seen everything in the world ever. - You've seen a lot of stuff. - No one in this room in the day have ever even heard of it. - Okay, that's your business. - You've heard of Arcane, no? - I've heard of Arcane, yes. And I'm planning to, I spoke about it on my stream last night. I'm gonna do a watch party of it. - Season two? - All of it, fam. - Fair, it's a lot of Arcane. - How many episodes is it per season? - It's only 18 in total. I think nine and nine. It's not bad. - Okay. - They're all an hour.

- Not all of them. - They're all an hour. - Okay, fine. Maybe I blitz through season one then and then I do watch part of season two. - It's good. - But yeah, animation, heavy. Fight scenes, heavy. Cover your ears for one second. For one second. When the scientist/doctor dropped the blood and then the animal, so it's Vanda. Vanda is the pop's name.

The animation style of Vanda's perspective running through the ting, following the blood trail line. The smokey and all this kind of shit. Woo! Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was live. Slicing man with one in the swing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was live. Oh, yeah. The fight scenes, bro. The fight scenes. It's unbelievable, bro. It's unbelievable. It has to win. Season two is better than season one as well. Oh, then again, you... I can...

I would have to take your word for it because I have not rewatched season one. But season two might be the best animation I've seen this year. The only thing that's troubling me now, which I hope I get more answers to moving on, Jace is fucking up the bag. Talk to me. Jace is fucking up with the bag. Obviously, you can see he's come out all murked and skinny and all this stuff. And he's just murking people and dipping. But he's not giving any answers. So do you know why he's doing what he's doing? No. So...

I had the same confusion as to why Jace was moving the way he's moving. So I, after finishing episode six, I reread on Wiki episode one to episode six to get Jace's context. Does that make sense? So he's livid because...

When he put Victor... When he tried to heal Victor with the Hex ting, obviously, Victor was livid that he used that instead of using it to save something else. So they put it away. But I think... I think Victor... Jace, sorry. I think Jace...

Jace was starting to get all these visions. Obviously when he saw the orb and all them things, he started to get all these visions and stuff and he wanted to eradicate Hex Corp completely. - Yeah, yeah. - And because Jace is, because Victor is part Hex. - Yeah, yeah. - Obviously you had to mark him. - I mean, I get it, but like it's not given enough context. Like, so basically, I don't know if this might've been back end of season one or maybe beginning of season two,

Jace, the little doctor professor from season one. - Heidenberg. - Heimeldinger, something like that. - Yeah, Heimeldinger, yeah. - And the Echo as well. - The black guy. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They all got trapped in the thing. And Jace is the only one to come out so far. Was that beginning of season two or end of season one? - I think it was season two, I can't remember. - Okay, yeah, yeah. So they've all been trapped in there and then Jace has come out and he's just been on a madness. And I understand that,

for some reason he thinks that Arcane is evil. But I don't understand the ferocity in which he's killing people. - I think it makes sense now because I've seen episode seven, it follows Echo a lot more in episode seven.

From watching that, I think what you've just said will like double back on itself to make context for Jace. Okay, cool. Okay, cool. Okay, cool, cool, cool, cool. Yeah, because... Yeah, I think it'll make sense. Okay. I think it'll make sense. But animation of the year. It's unbelievable. Animation of the year. It was worth... Season one came out three years ago, which is shocking to me, but it was worth the wait. It was worth the wait. It's unbelievable. The slow-mo's in that bit. Yeah. The fight scene between...

- Vanda and Jinx in the prison was sick. - Sick. - When she gets those pink eyes and starts giving, she's fucking heavy. - Yeah, man. - Yeah, it's decent. It's very, very decent. I like it a lot. - Good, yeah. - Yeah, you're gonna enjoy it, Rem. 100%, you're gonna enjoy it. - Rem, Google animation of the year, please. 'Cause I'm pretty sure

- Do 2023. I'm pretty sure Blue-Eyed Samurai won it last year. - Oh, 2024. - 2024, my bad. So that's this year. - Okay, cool. - They won this year. - God, Blue-Eyed Samurai was fucking unreal. - Yeah, oh yeah, it did come out this year, fair play. - Blue-Eyed Samurai came out this year? - I'm sure, was it this, was it not early this year? - Probably, to be fair. - It was early this year, I'm sure it was. - God, it's been a long year, really. - It has been a long year. - Yeah, yeah. - Fucking hell, man. - I can't wait for season two of that. - Yeah, season two's gonna be wham. - Do you think they're gonna go back in time or continue the... - Well, she's dipping to England now.

On the boat Yeah Yeah I don't remember Yeah she's taken She's kidnapped homeboy She's taken him to England To find the other guys Which I'm not sure How I feel about that It seems a bit mad Maybe they'll do Like a two-person

- I do like a flashback in the first half to get the first cause you need to get four Donnies, right? - Yeah, something like that. - Yeah, there's four of them. - She's got one of the Donnies. - One of them's her dad, innit? - Something like that. - Yeah. - I might rewatch it, you know. - Huh? - I might rewatch it. - Yeah, it was good. - I'm looking forward to "Squid Game", man. - "Squid Game". - The trailer came out last night. - Oh, did it really? - The second one. - The second trailer, yeah. - The second trailer, yeah. - I've not even seen the first trailer. - The first trailer wasn't much. - I mean, no, I mean for the second,

Like it was an actual The official trailer For the second season Yeah yeah yeah I submit Like an actual full trailer Because the other ones Were like snippets Yeah And stuff I'm interested in what They'll do with that man Yeah Squid Game's gonna be cool I don't know what the fuck They're gonna do though So I think he wants He's going back in the game And he wants to sabotage it And basically end it

But I don't know how he's going to do that. Interesting. He's clearly got a plan because he's going back into it. You know what's dread though as well with the Squid Game shit is it's tough because since it came out it was so groundbreaking and so popular that people have done some kind of Squid Game-esque thing. Yeah.

between season one and season two, there's been a million different like shows and games and YouTube shit and all this kind of stuff that's surrounded like based off Squid Game. By the time season two comes in, I'm gonna be like, I'm gamed out bro. But fucking fair, that was a show. That was the show that everyone was like, you have to watch your show. And everyone in the entire world had seen it.

And then I remember thinking, you know when people are kind of stuttering like, "Oh, if everyone's watching, I'm not watching it." That was the one where I was thinking, "I don't know if I'm gonna watch it." 'Cause everyone's honest dick. - Yeah. - It was worth the watch. - What do you think was the most terrifying game? I think the one where they jumped on the glass was the most terrifying. Out of all of them, that was the one I wanted to do. - That's one of the last ones, where they're jumping. - Yeah, they had to jump along the glass. - Google Squid Games games, please. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - It's the tension of that.

Cause you have no idea on it. - And it's like pushing each other and shit. - Yeah. - That's not happening. - Yeah. That's the one I think was the worst. - Oh my God. - The first one, I think I could bust the first one. - Oh, the red light green light? - Yeah, I'd smash that. - Yeah, I think I could hit that. - Yeah. - All right, cool. - Statues, yeah. - Statues with red light green light. Marbles. - The fucking cookie ting. - Yeah. - Fuck that. - Depends what shape you get, man. - Yeah, that was horrible.

- Glass Bridge, Friend and Foe. I don't remember a lot of these games. - There's the Tug of War. - Tug of War was stressful. - That was crazy. - Yeah, that was tough. I think they're mixing some of the games with the actual Netflix game version of Squid Games. 'Cause you know there was a Netflix version. - Oh, I heard about that, yeah. - It's game ones and not neutral. - Red Light, Green Light, easy. - I could do that. - Yeah, I reckon I could do that.

- A sugar honeycomb was tough. - That would mark me. - The umbrella is. - Yeah, that would mark. - Where these men were sucking the sides of that. - Fuck, that would mark me. - Yeah. - You can't even, you don't know which one you get, right? How do you choose? - So you do choose, but they didn't know what the game was. So they had to just go to a random shape.

So some people just went to umbrella and then that was like the worst one you can get. I think there was star, circle, square and umbrella. - Oh God. - I think square would be the easiest. - Oh yeah, square probably easiest. - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah, you're right. Square would be banging. Cool.

- Right, man, what's next? - A tug of war. Depends on your team. - That one was vile. - Really does depend. - Depends on your team, man. - I hope we had a busted team though. - Yeah, you still, and they won. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - 'Cause they did the opposite. - Yeah, they did a certain technique. I think they said, you'd like,

there's no way without sounding sus you tug for a bit yeah and then you have to you give them stop so you all you do is lean back and let them just do it and then it tires them out and then you just go ham after that i remember that now which is a really good technique yeah it was good that's such a good technique that was good that was scary yeah that was terrifying marble i don't remember this one oh

- They make up any game for the marbles. - Yeah. - Every pair was making up their own game. - Ah. - So you can get everyone's, someone else's marbles. I have 10, you have 10. My goal is to take your 10 and I have 20. - Yeah. - If you have zero, you die. - Fair. Okay, cool. Medium stress.

- This is the one. - This was the glass thing. - Hopscotch, yes. - That was disgusting. - You're nice if you're like, if there's 10 people there, you're nice if you're like the seventh one to go. - Yeah, you're chilling. - Yeah. - Yeah. - What, the first? - But it was getting to a point where they were going across and then people in front weren't moving. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - So you'd have to push them or go around them. - Even in the games one that they did after this, same thing, they were being . People out of front, I'm not going. You can't make me go.

- I can. - Can you push someone? - Facts. - I'm sorry, I'd have to. - If I'm second and the person in front of me is not moving, I'm pushing. And I would expect the same treatment. - Really? - Yeah, I'd expect, if I'm first and I'm saying I'm not going, I'd expect someone to push me. - So if you're third and we're going, going, going, and then the guy at the first is like, "Nah, nah, nah, nah." And the guy behind him is like, "Fuck that." Push, smash through, gang, goes, and then goes, and then a couple more, he's like,

I don't think I can. - I'm pushing it. - And he looks at you and he's like, "Bro, bro, bro, bro." And you push him. - I'm pushing him. - Slashes him. - Yeah. - And then you'll go and you're like, "Now I'm here. I don't actually think I can move." And then bro behind you like, "It's unfair." - You know I'm gonna push you. - Yeah. I'll have to affirm it, bro. - I'm not affirming that. I'll say, "Please, bro. Please don't push me." - They're still gonna push you, but you have to squabble there. - Oh, oh, we'll squabble up.

- We will, we actually will. I'll jump back on their glass and we'll just wrap it out. 'Cause I'm not dealing with that. - Fair play. - That's too scary. - Fair play, fair play. - But I always thought, you can touch the barriers as well, innit? You can't balance on it, but you can touch it. - I don't remember if there were barriers. - Like the thing with the lights on right here. - Oh, okay, okay. I don't remember to be honest. - No one touched it, but that's what I'd be aiming for. - Fair.

I remember it was sick though because there was that guy who he was like I used to make glass and then he could he was like he said the reflections of the lights and then they switched all the lights off that's fucking because he was doing really well they got like the last two and then just turned the lights off he should have shut his mouth yeah

He should have shut his fucking mouth. And then these squids, I don't remember how to play this game. Oh yeah, how does this one go again? Features popular child's game that according to the front man, is one of the most violent games that Korean kids used to play. The game is played by drawing a square, a triangle and two circles on the ground.

and has two teams trying to invade each other's space. The tricky part is you can't touch any lines and you must hop on one foot on most areas. Of course, players will try their best to make you fall along the way. Okay. I don't really remember how we won this. Neither do I. I remember the girl was murked though. Oh, that was whole. That's the only thing I hated about that.

- I thought it was so stupid when they blew up the glass bridge after and then like one of them got injured. - Yeah, yeah, it kind of ruined the bag. - It was a bit like meh. - Everyone should go into the last game fit and healthy. - I'm curious of what the new games will be in the second season. - Same. - 'Cause it can't be the same. - Rem, do me a favor please. Google winner of Squid Games and see if she got the money. 'Cause I remember Squid Games, the challenge, yeah. I remember for a while she didn't get it. I remember seeing it, she didn't get it for a minute.

- But I had to keep a secret from her. - She won $4 million? - Yeah. - Jesus. - It doesn't say otherwise. Fair play, maybe it took a while, but she still got it. - Fair enough. All right guys, we're gonna charge it there. Thank you very, very, very much. As always, we appreciate you. As always head on over to patreon.com/shitsandgigs, contribute three pound amount. - 10p a day. - Run the P. - To S&G. - And your daddies will take it from there. - Facts. - If you live in New Zealand or Australia, make sure you grab some tickets to Daddy's Home Down Under. - Yeah, sir. - And yeah, man, love, love, love. - Ganga.

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