SOMETHING THAT TURNS YOU ON, BUT SHOULDN'T?
50:30 Share

BetterHelp Online Therapy bought this 30-second ad to remind you right now, wherever you are, to unclench your jaw, relax your shoulders, take a deep breath in and out.

Feels better, right? That's 15 seconds of self-care. Imagine what you could do with more. Visit betterhelp.com slash random podcast for 10% off your first month of therapy. No pressure, just help. But for now, just relax. He was faced with his own mortality and said, I need my wife. Yeah, I need... What am I doing here? I need home again. He literally ran home.

Crash got out of the car and literally ran. - On a flash, dude. - Yeah, on a flash. - Get me home to my wife and immediately hit Facebook. - Facebook. - Shake that ting. God, making songs used to be easy, bro. - Very. - Do you think? - Very. - Shake that ting, Miss. - Annabella. - Shake that ting. Yeah, bro.

- We always reference that 5 million and 40 million shows. - Yeah, 5 million and 40 million shows, bro. - Julie and Rebecca. - Julie and Rebecca. How do you finish off a verse with just Julie and Rebecca? Julie and Rebecca. Get busy. Bro, Sean Paul had it all, man. The world in the palm of his hand. - Jodie and Rebecca. - Jodie and Rebecca. - Jodie and Rebecca, sorry. - Oh, there you go. Jodie and Rebecca. Julie sounds better. - It sounds like Julie. - Yeah, Julie and Rebecca. Jodie and Rebecca.

That's work. That is work. To get around that O is work. Oh yeah. Jordy and Rebecca. But that's the accent, I guess, isn't it? Woman get busy, just shake that booty, don't stop. Bro. I've always done something to the beat when the beat drop. I didn't even know that.

- Yeah, same, damn. - Yeah, busy, just shake that booty nonstop. I was, yeah, shake that booty nonstop to the beat. - I thought it was to the beat. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - When the beat drop, just keep swinging it, get jiggy, get crunked up, percolate anything you want. - Percolate anything you want, fit. - Call it. - I'll still let you hit. - I'll still let you hit. - And don't take pity.

And don't take pity Jesus Wow And don't take pity You get life on the rhythm when we write them lyrics that provide electricity He always says electricity Yeah, electricity Electricity Can't blame

- Yeah, nobody can tell you nothing 'cause you don't know your destiny. Fair play. And that was a verse. - Yeah. - That was a verse. - But he's saying whatever. - Whatever he wants, bro. - Jodie and Rebecca, bro. - Jodie and Rebecca. - Jodie and Rebecca. That's fucking crazy. - Oh man. - Right, before we get into the episode today, I have, you already know about this, but I have something to say.

Okay. I did something very grown up this week. Cool. Very grown up. Daddy's getting rid of his G-Wagon. Shut up. Okay. He's getting rid of the G-Wagon, bro. Wait, what are you getting instead? We'll get to that. I did downgrade. Okay. I did downgrade. Did I want to trade up for a Euros? Yeah, I did. I put my hands up. Did I try and get my hands on Lamborghini Euros? Yeah, I did.

Didn't work out. Yeah. I'm trying to be more responsible with my finances. And in this country, driving a G-Wagon is very expensive. And the government don't like to reward you for it. So they slap a nasty, nasty, bad for the environment tax. And that bad for the environment tax has been...

Yeah, clapping my cheeks for a year now. It's time for me to clap back. So daddy took it into his own hands and he's getting rid of the G-Wagon. And I just did a very adult thing and I bought a car yesterday. Cool. And I was very happy because it's the first time in my life, obviously I've had cars, but it's the first time in my life I actually, I was chilling, um,

I was in my car on my way home and I was thinking about, right, I need to get rid of this car. And I don't know what I want. And I was like, I'm a grown ass man now. Turned 34 yesterday. I'm going to get myself a Range Rover. So I drove straight from where I was, straight to a Range Rover garage and spoke to the guy in the dealership, shook hands and spoke to him on the phone yesterday, patterned a Range Rover. Sick, man. I love a Range. I love a Range. Nice.

I took an Uber yesterday and it just so happened to be a Range Rover. It's actually the first time I've been in a Range Rover since, like, because my dad has one. I haven't been in his years. Years I haven't been in my dad's car. Got in that bitch. Wow, I nearly fell asleep. It's so comfortable. It's so comfortable. But yeah, I'm excited because I was interviewed yesterday. Growing up, I always saw, like, my dad...

I always saw it as such a manly thing to go into a car dealership and like discuss. You know when they're going in like kick the tires. I'm like, yeah, yeah, cool, cool. And how much is it? And then like to actually pattern it. I saw my dad do it once and I was like, this is the coolest thing

sexiest thing a man can do is walk into a car dealership and buy a new car. And I've never actually done it. I've only ever done it like online or obviously like through a friend and sort of, I've never actually actioned the thing. So yeah, it made me very, very happy. Can I say one thing? Yes.

to the untrained eye or the untrained ear, depending on how you're digesting this media, people might see it as a flex, but because I know you and because I know the reasons as to why you did it, obviously you've said here you are downgraded because of X, Y, and Z. But to some people that might just be like a blanket statement.

- Oh yeah, he's traded one exclusive SUV to another. - But because I know you and because I know the situation, I wanna say I'm very proud of you. - Oh wow, thank you very much. - I'm very proud of you. - Thank you, G, I appreciate it. - You took a big step in your financial status and it's good.

This is, I'm assuming what I'm saying for most people is very standard. Yeah. I'm incredibly irresponsible financially. Fiat knows that. Yeah. I'm incredibly bad at it. We all know that. We all know that? Yeah. I like nice things. I'm sorry. God forbid. God forbid I buy my friend a car and buy myself one as well. God forbid. Yeah. But nah, like, yeah. I'm not incredibly irresponsible, but...

I am very like, if someone's like, oh, if I'm like, okay, it's not, I'm not incredibly financially irresponsible. I'm just very much like, if I want this thing, someone could be like, yeah, you can have it and you can afford it. So great. But if you do it, is this, you lost me at great. I've got it now. I want it. Yeah. And then Lawrence is sitting us down being like,

This is an issue here. And then I put it off for so long. I was like, fine, fine. I'll be boring. But yeah, thank you, bro. I appreciate that. You're welcome, G. Yeah. Guess it was a good day. Good. No, Mark is going to break down.

- No, sir. - No, my luck is gonna break down. - Don't say that. - Range Rovers always break down, we all know this. - I know they're just easy to steal. - They're also the highest stolen cars. - Yeah, they're like apparently piss easy to steal. - Yeah. - Piss easy. - Yeah, apparently they're- - Piss, he's been there. - At one point you couldn't get insured on a Range Rover. They brought out their own insurance to combat, or insurance companies cutting them off. - Oh wow. - Because they were just getting teethed so regular. - Oh wow. - It's crazy.

- Fair play. - Yeah. So if you see a blacked out range that says daddy on it, now you know. - Leave it alone. - Yeah, yeah, don't touch it. - Leave it alone. - Yeah, 'cause yeah, you're starting a war you can't win. Don't touch it. But yeah, question of the week? - Question of the week. - I haven't drank enough water today.

- Yeah, I feel like I need, you know how you have on your stream where it's like hydration check or whatever it is. - Oh, that's cool. - I need that in real life. I need my phone to buzz going like, "hydration." - Set those alarms, fam. - Yeah, dude. - Do it. - I need it. - That's a good show. - Ooh, water's good, man. Damn. - It is. - I don't know why people don't like water. They're like, "Oh, damn." - It's a taste of nothing. This is good for you.

- Yeah, it is literally just good for you. It tastes of nothing. - Yeah, how can you not like water? - It literally tastes of wet air. - Yeah, it's just like rain on your face. Do you know what I mean? There's a fucking water, mate. - Wow! Wow! - It's just rain. - You're so unintentionally funny, you have no idea. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's two jokes. - Right, question of the week. This week's question was, what's something that turns you on but shouldn't?

I'll go first. What's something that turns you on that shouldn't? A single mom at her kid's sporting event. - That was- - That's specific. - Do you remember the jawn that Jake was dealing with at one point? - Yeah.

The fucking mum There was like He was what Like ranked first or second In high school basketball The Ute Mixed Race Ute Yeah yeah yeah The mum He was taking her to like Stadiums or something He sold her out a stadium Yeah that's right Yes I do remember Yeah Fucking hell Yeah yeah yeah He ran her out of the stadium To take her to dinner Yeah I remember Who in the hell Was that again Model Joanna Lea God have mercy Yeah pull her up Yeah Ah Hmm

44. That's taking the piss. Fair play. She's aged like wine. Her and Bernice Burgos. Who? Bernice Burgos. You know her. Type in Bernice Burgos, bro. You know exactly what I'm talking about. You know exactly what I'm talking about. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. 45. And she's got... I think she's a grandmother. Sorry? Yeah, she's a grandmother. Her kid's got a kid, yeah. Oh, I do know who this is. Her kid has a kid? Yeah, her kid's like 20, I believe. Well...

Don't quote me I think her kid has a kid Don't quote me But yeah Damn She's been a Like IG personality For like the last decade or so Damn Okay sorry What turns you on That shouldn't When she acts all innocent In public But I know what I have In my yard A freak

- Yeah, man. It's not as sexy. - That actually isn't as sexy. - I know what I have in my yard is. - Yeah, I know what I have in my yard. - Yeah. - A fucking freak. - Well, something that turns you on but shouldn't. Ugly feet. I love a pair of ghastly looking dogs. - Oh my God. - Disgusting. - That actually is fucking disgusting. - That's disgusting. - Oh God. - Ghastly looking dogs. - I always have the, can I tell you one of my worst fears? One of my worst fears is doing the deed.

And then like putting like their feet. I like putting their feet together. I'm pushing it back. Yeah. And scratching my hand and wrist. That's my fear. Yeah. From the heel. Yeah. My biggest fear is to grab a heel to push back and it slides on my hand and scratches me. And I think you nasty bitch. You don't do no. You don't take care of those at all. And now I need a shot. Yeah. I need a shot now.

Cool. What turns you on but shouldn't? When he gives me money. Fair. I need to know what it feels like. Same. To just be... Hey, man, listen, listen, listen. Let's actually dive into this mentality for a second. Can you imagine, yeah? I'm going to lean on my arm like this. Can you imagine what it feels like if you just wake up one day and because you're pretty, the one that you share a bed with looks at you and goes, God, you look stunning today.

and they give you a wad of cash and just say, go have fun. Like two grand, just bang in your account. That's just for you looking pretty. - Just 'cause I'm pretty. - Just 'cause you're pretty. - Yeah. - There's complete silence. - Yeah, bro. - It's taking everything from me. - That's unimaginable. - Yeah.

Just because you look so good, here's cash. Just have fun with it. Just go have fun. Go spoil yourself. There's zero consequences, bro. Spend all of the money I just gave you. There'll be more tomorrow. Yeah, I bet you. Just take my card. Because you're going to look like that tomorrow. So I'm going to spend more tomorrow. There'll be more tomorrow. Couldn't hear that.

As someone's bottom bitch, I couldn't hear, "There'll be more tomorrow." I'm sucking everything. - Clean off. - I'm sucking everything. That's when you spit on the tip and catch out of the bottom. - There'll be more tomorrow? - Yeah. You spit on the tip and you catch out of the bottom. Wow. Wow.

- Wow! - Oh my God. - That spun me. - Oh God. - Fuck man. - Wow. - There'll be more tomorrow. - That's a bomb, man. - What's something that turns you on but shouldn't when he's married without kids? - Why shouldn't that turn you on?

- Oh wait, when he's married without, I only heard the kids bit. - Yeah, the penny's dropped. - Yeah, the penny's dropped, wow. He's married without kids. That means he's anyone's. He's literally anyone's. That's so specific. It's not yours. What difference does it make if he's got kids or not? It's not fucking yours. - Bro, that's what turns her on. That's what turns her on, she can't help it. She said, "But I shouldn't." - Are you married? Yeah. Kids? Nah, fuck. Fuck. - Shout me. - Yeah, you done said too much.

- Wow. This is a guy that sent this. This is a guy that sent this here. What turns you on but shouldn't? I don't know. Ellis just got a little something going on. - Fuck's sake. - I don't know. Ellis just got a little something going on. Damn bro. - Ellis, how does that make you feel? - How does that make you feel? - I don't really.

- Do you feel a type of way if a man is seeking after you? - I've had gay guys hit on me before. - Oh yeah? - Yeah. - How'd that go? - It's awkward, isn't it? - And one of my boys, I'm gonna say who it is. One of my boys, they're gays. They want him, but I'm gonna say they only want him as a bottom. Only want him as a bottom. - I think I know who it is. - Yeah, you do know who it is. They only want him as a bottom boy.

The bars, I've heard them say to him when they've had a couple of drinks, scary. Face to face. Face to face. And I've been there and he's like, oh, whatever. I've never liked, bro. Oh, fuck. I've heard it, bro. Tell my boy, I'll fuck the shit out of you. I'll fuck the shit out of you. Jesus. Oh my God. Oh my God. And I've been there. Cops, man. There's a...

There's a gay Vox Popper that interviews other gay guys. It's a white guy and he was interviewing a hench black guy. And he was talking about, are you top or bottom? He said, I'm anything daddy. And he tries to grab him and kiss him on the lips. - Wow.

He said, oh, no, no, no, no. He's like, to be fair, I'm the black guy. You're the white guy. He said, to be fair. So you're interviewing me and I'm saying to you, I want to lips you this, that, and the other. And he's like, no, no, no, no, no. He's like, to be fair, you're right. You could handle this dick. I'll fucking break you. And he said something along the lines of, he said a bar and he said, do you know what that means? It means you won't be able to walk straight tomorrow. This, that, and the other. Jesus. Yeah, bro. He was going in on him. That scared me.

He was holding a mic like this. Who am I interviewing? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Second guess his job. You wouldn't be walking straight tomorrow. You wouldn't be walking straight tomorrow. They call me Big Daddy Sam Sam. God. It was wedge, James. That scares me.

Also, don't threaten me with a good time. - If I'm inclined that way, don't threaten me with a good time. - 'Cause I know you never had that like that. - Yeah, facts bro. - So let me try. - Are we just chatting or what? Or what? - Facts. - That's scary. - Too scary. - Yeah, but yeah, my boy gets, they stick you on him when they've had a drink.

- Yeah, they used to tell him also, and I was like, "Brother, that's terrifying." - It's also harassment. - Yeah, of course. I couldn't be a girl, 'cause that's standard Wednesday behavior. I'm not trying to hear that. - Yeah. - Anyway, and it's got a little something going on apparently. - What's something that turns you on but shouldn't? Calling me a slut when he knows I'm monogamous. - Okay. - Okay.

What turns you on that shouldn't? Knowing that her man knows about us, but is too scared to confront me and too fragile to leave her. That turns him on. That man's just stuck between a rock and a hard place. I can't confront the side man because he'll knock me out. I can't confront my girl because she'll break me. Damn. Yeah. Someone replied, you've never touched a woman in your life.

He said it's all fantasy. This whole tweet was fantasy. You haven't touched a woman in your life. Touch is crazy. That's hilarious. And he said, yes, I have. I've got two kids. Bro, what is this for? Oh, you've never touched a woman in your life. What shouldn't, what's something that turns you on, but shouldn't? When my man puts his gun on the dresser. Oh my God. Wow. He's like,

- Yeah, just go, go. - You know when they just take out the tape. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Takes the jacket off for that holster. - I've had a day, babe. - Yeah. - Go, go. - I've had a day, babe. - She's thinking, damn. - Come and fix me something. - Yeah, yeah. Right, what turns you on shouldn't? Hand on the back of my seat while he's reversing, knowing damn well he's got a back camera.

He doesn't need to do all of that. - Fair. - Yeah. - I can't remember the last time I did one of those. - I wouldn't risk it. - Yeah. - I'm not gonna lie to you, man. - Yeah. - I'd hit a curb or something. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - What's that song? - Swerve in the corner. - Yeah. - Oh, swerve in the corner, bro. Yeah. - Bumping a curb in that position. - 'Cause you can't recalibrate. - You can't. - You fucked it. - You fucked it. - What's something that turns you on but shouldn't? When she cries, something about emotional instability gets me going.

Okay. That is... I literally... There's a chick that replied and literally says his tears, especially when I'm the cause. Oh. What the fuck is wrong with you? Yeah, some people just have issues, bro. Yeah. What's something that turns you on but shouldn't? The way he looks whilst he's eating. I know I'm next in line. That's a bar. That's a bar. I know I'm next in line. It's a bar. What turns you on but shouldn't? Men's hands. Especially food hands.

Bro, through a lens is nuts. Yeah. Yeah. Also very true. Yeah. What's something that turns you on but shouldn't? Girls with boy names. Danny, Alex, Frankie, shout me. Valid. Low key? Valid. Shout me. Yeah. Damn. Okay. That's cute. What turns me on but shouldn't? When he's mad at me, he makes the sexiest face. I know I'm in trouble, but I'm going to pay for it later. Yeah. Yeah.

You also need to know your man in those situations. Cause if I'm mad at you, I don't want to fuck you. Yeah, exactly. I'm not turned on. I'm not turned. I know you're lying. I'm not turned on. I've got a couple more. What's something that turns you on, but shouldn't Dexter's mom from Dexter's lab.

That's a should. Yeah, that was an old school standard. Yeah. Let me see Dexter's mum real quick. Yeah, she had hips. I was trying to go with the apron, right? Yeah. And a marigold. It's that hip to waist. Anything from Powerpuff Girls where you couldn't see her head top? Miss Bellum. Oh, hell yeah. Right. Last one for me. What turns you on but shouldn't? God forgive me, but older, mature, light-skinned women.

So specific. Very specific. Why God forgive them? Yeah, I don't know. That's his type. Your type is your type. Yeah, damn. Last one for me. What's something that turns you on but shouldn't? Explain in the anime I recommended. Fair. In your flow. Yeah. Yeah. Speaking of mature women, yesterday there was a brayer and a...

like an older lady. He looked like 25, 26. She looked like 60. Okay. I just, I assumed they were like mother and son. And then they were like, I was saying their goodbyes out in the street and it was like, oh yeah, cool, cool. And they gave each other a hug and it was like a long hug. And I was like, oh, that's cute. Mother and son. You've seen this? I'm watching it. Okay, cool. Yeah, they were like, where Rem is here, we're about that distance from me. I was just about to get in an Uber and then,

I could tell from the bass in his voice, I was thinking, this is not his mum. - He's saying stuff like that. - Yeah, 'cause he was like, "Oh, it was really nice to see you." And I was thinking, "That's not, why is his bass drop like that?" And then they literally went forehead to forehead. And then they were like, "Tongue lips." And I was like,

Damn, dude. She was old as fuck. Broad daylight. Broad daylight. He didn't give a shit. It turns out he didn't give a shit. He lips the hell out of her on Liverpool Street. No. Oh, God.

- I said 65. - You can be bad at 65. - Maybe. - You can be. I'm not gonna entertain a face that you think you can't. I'm not going to. I think you can. - Have you seen it? - I don't know. - So, okay, okay, okay. You've lived 34 years and you don't even know if you've seen it. And when I say it, you're like, "Oh, don't give me that face." - Yeah, but 65, like you can still look. - Top 10, 65. Of course you can. But I'm talking about a regular degular.

65, bro. He's 25. Fair, but I still feel like she can be banging. She can be. Granted, you didn't see the one... How are they saying she... Is that who I think that is? Who, her? Oh, yeah. I thought that was Ryan Reynolds' wife for a second. Oh, no. How old, actually, is... What's her name from... What's her name from...

There's a show called, a show, there's an old movie called, I think it's called Bedazzled. Yeah. Oh my God. I know who you're talking about. Yeah. I don't know her name. Elizabeth Hurley. Yeah. She's old as shit. I'm pretty sure she's still fine. We've had this discussion before. Have we really? Yeah, we've spoken about this before. Yeah. In that movie, she was something else. Yeah.

How old is she? I'm pretty sure. Type Elizabeth Hurley age. 59. 59. Come on, man. Yeah. We're trying our best. I still think there will be a good looking 65. Don't get me wrong. There's going to be Carol Vords. How old is she? 64. 64. One less. Yeah. Okay. Carol Vorderman is the only sexy...

- And sexy is a stretch bro. It's 'cause she's cheeked up. That's why everyone keeps banging on about it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I hope I'm fine at 65. - I think it's different for men. - Some men age great though. Like the guy from the office.

who is in the Hobbit and shit. - Martin Freeman? - He's aged amazingly. He looks fucking better as he's got older. - He's probably like 40 something. He's not that old. - No, no, no. Yeah, but I'm saying from like age, like in terms of aging, some men age really well. Some don't. - Yeah, I'm hoping it happens to me. - When you guys start going gray, yeah.

- Are you gonna like fight it? Are you gonna color your hair? - Nah bro. - You just gotta go gray. - Salt and pepper flakes is gonna be different. - Fair play. - I'll be built diffy. - Fair play. - When I start getting gray in my locks, man. - Gray in the locks is nuts. - Are you gonna grow your beard up? - Donny from, what's it, House of the Dragon?

- Oh yeah, you look sick. - Cold. - Yeah, wasn't it Viserys or something like that? - Viserys. - Yeah. - Oh no, is Viserys the? - No, that's the king. - That's the king. - Oh. - Valarian. - Yeah, I think it's 'cause it's all similar to Valyrian steel. - Yeah, Valarian. - Yeah, Valyrian, yeah, how's the dragon? - He was cold. - He was sick. Do you think you'll grow your beards out as you get older? - Nah, man. - I don't think so. - You'll keep it trim.

I'll see Yeah Those looks are crazy That's me Yeah that would be sick You'd have to die that though Yeah I mean he's got Like we're talking about A few grades here and there Yeah He's actually He's gone for it He's actually 100% Yeah I wouldn't get there It's cold

- Would you consider dying it, like when you get your natural, 'cause like natural gray doesn't look like that. - No, it doesn't. - If you get natural gray, would you consider dying it grayer to look like that? 'Cause that looks sick. - Yeah, I might as well just go for something like 100% like that's cold. - May as well. - Do you think you'll have this similar hairstyle in terms of like faded then dreads? Do you think you'll have that period for the rest of your life? - No, I think eventually I might go full head eventually. - Orz and Al.

But I don't know, to actually get there would be long winded. So I don't know. - Yeah, to start growing locks here now. - Yeah, I'd have to have my hair down the whole time. - The mismatch would be crazy. - Having some long luscious thing here, some little squiggly pewting here. - The mismatch would be crazy. - I'll laugh at you, Aaron. I'll laugh at you. - Yeah, you'd have to have- - Free up the whole thing. - I'd have to have my hair down the whole time and then, yeah. - And I'll take it how many years? - Like 10? - No, no, no. - Seven?

- It's a 2019, right? - Yeah. - Oh, so six. - So six. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Right, you got a dilemma for us? - I do have a dilemma. And it's by our favorite, favorite, favorite ghost writers. - Oh, gang. - Six Brown Chicks. It's been a minute since I jumped on their dilemmas, but here we go. "I've been dating an unhappily married man "for about eight months. "He made his intentions clear with me. "He's preparing to leave his wife.

She posted their wedding photos and wrote, "There will be trials, but love will carry us." I replied, "That's cute, but his love carries me further." She deleted her post and then deleted her page. Why? Because he chose me? And she knew it? Well, we were riding in my car, I was driving, and I sped through a yellow light when a car turned and smacked me in the side.

The airbag punched me in the nose and it was pinned inside my vehicle. He jumped out and ran. I thought he was running to get help, but he kept running. He left me at the crash site, bloody and stuck in the car. I called him several times from the ER and after I was discharged and he ignored me after. Her Facebook is active again.

And he wrote a status about how God spared his life for his wife. Oh my God. What happened? How could he deny his love for me so quickly? Advice. Wow. He was faced with his own mortality and said, I need my wife. Yeah, I need. What am I doing here? I need home again. He literally ran home. He literally ran home.

Crash got out of the car and literally ran. Babe! Fuck this! Fuck this! On a flash, kid! Yeah, on a flash! Get me home to my wife and immediately hit Facebook. Facebook!

And just left homegirl in the car, bloodied. That is insane. That's the scariest thing ever. Wow. What do you do? As a homegirl? As a homegirl, of course as a homegirl. I was this close to saying, Serz, you're right. But obviously not. Obviously not. But yeah, she was trolling the wife saying. That's Pete.

His love carried me further Yeah That's funny That's what she started with That's funny Because his love carried me further Not bad That's too Facts Facts Not bad indeed Yeah That is karma It is karma Sorry That's how nature works Yeah bro Don't start something with B9 bro Yeah man I just don't She had no reason To do that The wife has more than Every reason to post What she wants to post Because it's I'm the wife He's my husband Type of thing I drop her immediately

After I saw you trolling my wife, I'm dropping you immediately. - Yeah bro, why have you fucked up a good fight? I'll be so disappointed. I think that's what the emotion that will exude from my body. Disappointment. - I'll close my laptop slowly after seeing that. - Who have I brought into my life? - And she's walking in all smug. Get off me, man. - Oh man. - Yeah, we crashed that car and he said that's the last straw. - Literally. - I need to go back to my wife. I made a vow in front of God. - Facts. - And he spared my, yeah. - You're the devil.

- You're the devil reincarnate. You're clearly my test. - Yeah, he dipped. - Yeah. - Tell Lucifer I said, "Well, Guan, I'm going home." - Yeah, my wife needs me. - Yeah, yeah. She literally needs me in life. - My wife needs me. - Wow, okay, cool. Right, Daddy Fancy, so.

Where did we leave off? Oh yeah, so they've gone to Zayden's home. - Yeah, the dragons have gone. - Yeah, the dragons, there's over a hundred of them now that have gone to Zayden's yard. - Zarsh is gone. - So it's a bit of a small update. One thing that I will say, we've got a sex scene, another sex scene and it's back shots.

So as you guys know, I am listening to what James is reading. So I've just gotten past the first sex scene and it's pretty much bar for bar what you read to me. It's raunchy. They broke stuff in the room. It's raunchy. So yeah, yeah, I've gotten past that. I had to like, you know...

It got so bad that I had to, because I listened to it on the way to work. Yeah. It got so bad that I had to wind up my windows so people can't hear what I'm listening to. Can't hear what you're listening to. Yeah, they're like, what the fuck is happening in there? Yeah, this is smart. Yeah, so every time I'm like a traffic light, just boop. Yeah, damn. Yeah. Wow, wow, wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's crazy. I hear it, I hear it. Crazy. Bro, there's times I've read it and I'm looking over my shoulders. I was reading it yesterday. I was reading this backshot scene yesterday whilst I was getting my hair cut.

And I know bro's not reading my Kindle, but I just, I just, I put it face down. I was like, this is, this is insane. Right. So we're in Iron Flame and Zayden was giving her back shots. Oh yeah. And she was down, bro. She said the stretch was out of control. And she said, yeah, yeah, yeah. She said,

She said there was times where Broski took it all the way out to the tip and ran it home. And she said, bro, there's over 100 people in this house. He said, I need every single one of them to hear that you're mine. Banged her. Banged her. Yeah, it's disgraceful. It's disgraceful. So where we're at right now is now they're there. They're wondering when is...

Navarre gonna come beef us remind me who Navarre is again Navarre is the the place okay so Navarre is the the homeland okay of where the why no no no Navarre is the main homeland where Violet's originally from obviously Basquiat is the school yes yes in Navarre okay okay I'm with you so it's like the country or whatever I'm with you so

They're wondering when are these men going to come for us? We've just stolen hundreds of dragons. Do they know where we are? Everyone's beefing Zayden saying, how could you bring her here? How could you let Violet build this? Zayden's like, bro,

I'm fucking doing what I want. And he found out and he was beefing with his council basically being like, they're like, we don't trust Violet. He's like, well, now you've got no choice. Cause you know how he has a thousand, like a hundred scars on his back, 107 scars on his back or whatever to take accountability for all of the marked ones. He's speaking with his council and he rips off his jacket and he's got a brand new one across his chest. And he's like, this is for Violet.

I take accountability if I said oh she's dripping obviously yeah someone get him up yeah he rips his chest out it's like

I take accountability for her. So if you don't trust her, you don't trust me. - And if you don't trust me. - Yeah, if you don't trust me, and there's, she says in the room where the council are, there is a throne in there and half of it is burnt and it's been like remastered. So it's like half black, half brown. Half of it has been burnt and no one sits in it. She was like, whose chair is that? And then the way he was like, if you don't trust Violet, you don't trust me. If you ever want me to sit in that fucking chair, you better start

acting right for the love of my life. And she's like, wow, they want Zayden to take the throne and he's refusing to take it. So they're trying to chirps him into like, you need to run this. You need to be the leader. And then two twos as well. He's also like, and remember who's fucking yard you're in, by the way. This is the Riosan house, bro. Watch your fucking tongue. And then we're always like, fucking little shit. Yeah, he doesn't play. So now they're all there, happy together. And apparently now,

They were chilling one day and all of a sudden, 10 messages Violet and like there is a drift of dragons on our way. There's 40 dragons coming here right now. Everyone battle stations now. There's 40 dragons pulling up and then 10 says, and your sister's leading them.

So she's like, no, Violet sprints out. Oh my fucking God. She needs to see me. If she's going to burn his face to the ground, she's going to have to look me in the eyes or she does it. So she sprints out, Mira lands, bang in front of her, whole ground shakes. And then she jumps off the, and then Ten lands, grabs Mira's dragon by the neck again. He doesn't fucking play.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He doesn't fucking play. Grabs her neck and then she's like, Dan, stop, stop, stop. He's like, don't worry, I pierce no scales. I'm just letting them know. I'm ready to lop anyone's head off at any moment. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, so,

Mira's landing now. She's got the 40 dragons and she's like, calm down, calm down. We're here to join the revolution. And they're like, what do you mean? What's going on? And said, apparently Lilith has gone round to every outpost and told all of the soldiers the truth. Yeah, that she's gone down to every outpost and said, we are Navarre. This is what we stand for. This is the truth that we've been keeping for you.

You and your dragons decide now. Do you want to stay with us and fight and protect our wards and protect our home? Or do you want to fuck off with Zayden?

and go be part of his little rebellion thing. And then they're like, why would she do that? And then probably they're just like, because she's 10 toes doesn't give a fuck bro. She's ready for whatever battle comes. She said she'd rather them and dip and them hand have less dragons than them be whispering rumors and having like split mindset. She's like, I'm not on a split mindset thing either with us or against us. And if you're against us dip now Lilith doesn't care. She's on it. And her boss, the other general with the bigger black dragon doesn't care bro. They're all on it. They're all on the smoke.

which is sexy it's sexy yeah they're on job just like bro i've got time to try and sway minds if you're dipping you're at my enemy if your enemy bounce bro and i'll see you on the battlefield and we'll really see what i want i don't care about none of you man i control the weather um so anyway is that what she does oh yeah yeah yeah she's like a weather wielder or whatever so every time there's there's moments in there where they'll say whenever she gets angry the whole room gets cold

Damn. Yeah. So you can always tell when Lilith spits off because the room just gets freezing. Yeah. It's nuts. And they always say as well, to show that she's such a stone cold bitch is obviously when Violet originally went across the parapet, it was raining. Lilith could have charged the rain if she wanted to. She said, nah, let it rain. She said, nah, let my daughter do it in the rain.

- No, she's a real Soren girl. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, she's a real. - Yeah, I know she's a real Soren girl. - She wears the name across her chest, bro. Lilith is a serious Soren girl. So now Mira's joined the rebellion. She's landed, Violet's like, "Cool, cool, cool, so glad to have you." Brendan walks out, Mira drops. - Oh, Mira doesn't know. - She had no idea bro was alive.

And he's like, Mira, welcome, welcome. She's like, oh my God, Brennan. He goes to give her a hug. She whacks him in his face, drops him, breaks his nose. She's like, you fucking dickhead. You fucking dickhead. Six years, Brennan. Six years. And you didn't want to say a word. I couldn't. He's like, I couldn't. He's like, you couldn't. Do you know what it did to our mother? She was a shell of herself. Did you know it killed our father? He had heart failure because he was so broken about you. Six years, Brennan.

And he's like, game's the game. Game's the game. I had to do what I had to do. I'll fucking do it again. Whatever. So anyway, now they've got all the students there. They're actually creating another school at Zayden's house. Okay. So the cadets can graduate and they're going to teach them how to fight the Veni in school. So they're back to taking lessons, all this kind of stuff. Now, Violet's chilling one day and she hears a whisper. She realizes Adana's finally awake.

She's been, bro, she's been asleep for time. She goes to link her. Adana's finally awake. But, bro, this is actually kind of crazy. She's low-key disabled.

- Okay. - Bro, she pulls up. - Post the wake up? - Post the wake up. - Okay. - She tries to get up. She's stumbling, stumbling. Ten's like, "You're tired, you're tired. Relax, relax, relax." She tries to open her wings. And Violet's like, "Let's go for a flight. Let's do this." She tries to open her wings. One of them is buckling. And she's like, "Ten's like, 'Don't worry. You'll find the strength to open your wings soon. You're just knackered. Give it a few weeks and you'll be calm.'" She dips and Violet's like, "Well, go on for this." Ten's like, "Put your shields up now and block Adana out." She does it. Ten says,

see this foolishness you had her doing when we were fighting and you made her use her power over the top and you know how she's been asleep for this long and you know how she kept waking up during the sleep because we were having battle here battle there battle there all of that's fucked her up she's like when you grow into an adult you need an extra set of muscles that you develop just so you can fly bro she ain't got them

Oh damn. And then Violet's like, how long have you known that? He's like, bro, from jump. As soon as she woke up, she should have had them. From time, she hadn't had them. She's like, and then Violet's murked. She's like, no, no, no, I've disabled my own dragon. Like I'm fucked. And she's like, he's like, don't worry. I think we can train her to fly. And then she's like, okay, thank God she can fly. And he's like, but between me and you, she hasn't realized this. She's never going to carry a rider. You will never fly on her back. Deal with that.

Deal with that Violet. Damn. Yeah. So Violet's just on her knees. Yeah, she's rocked. So she's dealing with that and she's also now trying to figure out how to do the wards. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. They've gone to the ward stone. She's been translating the old journal and thing. And then apparently there's blood, they use blood magic. So apparently you need to get the six strongest riders in your whatever and use blood magic to fucking awaken the stone. They've gone around trying to figure out

who the six strongest are. And so far, they've gone for one of her boys. I can't remember. Maybe Riddick, Zayden, Violet, Brennan, and...

- Really excited about it, Brennan. And one of the professors, I think. They think they're the, or maybe two of the professors. I can't remember. Basically six strongest riders. They've gone, they tried the blood magic, palm. She's like, "You're supposed to do palm. It's supposed to react and we're gonna have a ward. Right now we're gonna have a ward." They go, "Do it, bro." Nothing happens. And Violet's like, "I'm just getting defeated. I'm getting fucking defeated. I can't stand this anymore." And there's one thing as well, because they don't have a forge to make weapons, they've obviously been stealing the weapons from,

Baskiath. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And now they can't. Is it Baskiath or Baskiath? You hearing it. I just make up. Yeah, yeah. Sorry, sorry, sorry. If it's Baskiath, it's Baskiath. Yeah, yeah. Because I was thinking...

'Cause every time you say Basquiat, I keep thinking you're saying the painter. - Basquiat? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - We're talking about two different things here. - Basquiat? - It's how it's said in the audio is Basquiat, but I've just deeped, we are thinking about the same thing. - Oh, okay, cool, yeah. 'Cause I've only ever read it. So all my pronunciations, you would know better than me. All right, Basquiat it is. So yeah, obviously they can't go there anymore. So they have to make weapons. The only way they can make weapons is like a random leader miles away who lives in a city on the coast. And he's a bastard.

And he has what they call a luminary, which is gonna allow them to create like a weapons forge and stuff like that. And they can start making weapons. And then he's like, he said, so for time he's been like, you can't have it, you can't have it, you can't have it. And Valor's been like to Zayden, we need to chat to him, we need to get it. Like, doesn't he understand like how imperative this is? And Zayden's like, he's got one condition, but we're not doing it. So we're just gonna find something else. Valor's like, what's the condition? He said, since you're the first lightning wielder in a hundred years, he wants to see you wield. She's like,

That's light. Yeah, I'll go there and do that right now. He's like, no, you will not. This guy's an evil, evil bastard. You will go there, you will wield for him and he's known for taking shit that he likes and keeping it. He will put you in a dungeon for the rest of your life. We can't let that happen. She's like, Zayn, I think it'll be all right. Like I can pattern it. He's like, you're not going. End of, bro. It's not happening. If I have to pin you down myself, I will. You're not going. She's like, fuck. Now after this ward thing's happened,

She's dealing with fucking all these people. So now she's dealing with the guilt of, I've bought a hundred and something people here. I don't know if their family is going to get killed for being traitors. Their dragons, there's not even enough food for them to eat. Like they've had to abandon everything they grew up loving, abandon their family and friends. I'm dealing with the guilt of that. I've crippled my fucking dragon from overusing her power because I never know when to stay put. I never know when to fucking do anything.

fucking Dane is ostracized from his dad. No one here trusts him because of his dad. So no one in the fucking new place is even chatting to Dane. And, um,

- You can't get this fucking stone thing activated. - I can't get this fucking stone thing to work that I guess everyone's saying is gonna work. I'm fucked. I'm fucked. - I need homeboy. - Bro, I reckon now, so I'm gonna do, Megan's been complaining that I don't do enough predictions on Daddy Fantasy. My predictions are she's gonna go behind Zayden's back and fly and just to link this mind man and just show him the wielding and something bad's gonna happen. Something bad is going to happen. I think she's gonna do it and something bad is going to fucking happen. - I agree because I don't see any other way if they've introduced this character

- There's a reason. - 100%. - There's a reason. So yeah, man. - Yeah, I reckon she's gonna fly there behind Zayden's back and be like, I'm just gonna show him a quick two-two lightning. He's gonna give us the luminary and I'm gonna make all the mistakes I've made will be forgiven.

Even though no one's cussing her for any of the mistakes. Naivety. She takes it all on her back, bro. And she thinks she needs to be the one to solve everything. Bro. She is the MC though. She's the MC. That's what they do. That's what they do. Fucking narcissistic bitch. I'll tell you what. But yeah, anyway, I reckon that's what's going to happen. And she's going to either get captured or Zayden's going to have to go and rescue her or Brendan's going to have to do something. Brendan might act

Bro, satin's gonna happen. - But I don't see how she's going to be able to do that undercover without scale knowing where Tern is going. - Yeah, I don't know either. She might have to tell Tern, promise me you're not gonna tell scale. - Yeah, or hot take, obviously Tern said to Violet that, "Oh, well, don't worry, we'll teach Andana how to fly." And she might bop on Andana's back. - Yeah, she might try and link Andana and then them dip. I also think,

Slight one. I reckon, obviously they have a bunch of first years with them as well, innit? Okay. I reckon, obviously she's collected what they think is the six strongest riders to do this blood magic thing. I reckon they're going to find out that one of the first years, I think, who it's going to be is the prince, the hidden prince. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I reckon he's going to be the strongest rider.

Okay. I just have a feeling. Okay. The way they kept emphasizing six strongest riders, six strongest riders, I have a feeling that he, because of his raw blood or whatever, I reckon he's going to be a next level rider. And I reckon that they're going to need him to activate the thing. Okay. Those are my two predictions. All right. He's going to fly, get captured, piss everyone off, and the hidden prince is going to be a crazy, have a crazy signet. And where is, what's the prince doing at the moment in this story? He's chilling. So he's come with them. Mm-hmm.

And he's just chilling. Okay. And he is scared now that they're away from... Obviously, he's now well away from the king. So before he was... He had the protection of the school and all this kind of stuff. Even though he was still hidden and people didn't know who he was, he at least had that level of protection. Now he's literally a traitor to his own dad who was the king of the entire fucking country. And he's flown with these men. He now knows...

these men have no loyalty to me. Like I'm the prince of the literal, the king of the guy that they're trying to fight. I am his son. Like at any moment they could tell everyone who I am or they could use me as a hostage or whatever. So he's every scene that they say, he's just stood there like that. Okay.

He's still doing that He's thinking Bro you could have me And Dane up And just use us as leverage And then Violet's trying to Console him And be like I promise you Everything's calm I promise you everything's calm And he's like You better fucking pinky promise Because I'm about to loot I'm about to go ape Fair play So that's what's going on right now Alright So yeah that's Daddy Fans for this week I'm enjoying it bro Same That was a good one Even though it was short That was a good one Alright gang Right So I've got another dilemma

Again, Ghostwriters, six brown chicks. I've been living with my boyfriend and his 16-year-old daughter for two months. I left my man for him. I took his daughter's phone because she refused to do her chores. As I slept, she put vegetable oil in my hair and ruined my $300 wig install. When I woke up, my lace front was puckered and rolled back towards the center of my head. Stop.

Towards the centre of my head. Wow. She left the oil bottle near me so I would know she did it. My hair could not be redone without washing it. I told him I was going to kick his daughter's arse. Him.

Why are you disciplining her? How are you the authority in my house when you are sleeping on my floor? Oh. FYI, he doesn't like anyone to sleep in a bed with him, so I have a sleeping bag near the foot of his bed. She's a jerk. I'm not sleeping on the floor. I have a sleeping bag. He won't pay for a new wig. Advice. She's a doormat. I left my man for him, and she's sleeping on a sleeping bag on the floor. She's a doormat. That's crazy.

That is crazy. I'm also not leaving my man for someone else that has a 16-year-old daughter. I'm just not doing it. Yeah, of course. I'm not doing it. Of course. He doesn't like anyone else in the bed, so he makes me sleep on the floor. Makes is crazy. And her justification is, I'm not sleeping on the floor. I have a sleeping bag. I have a sleeping bag. And I'm there because I choose. Sorry, you're sleeping on the floor, man. You're a joke, man. You're sleeping on the floor. Oil in wig.

That makes it peel to the centre of your skull. Puckered. Puckered is the funniest part. She put that bitch next to her in the morning. So, yeah, you know what? When you wake up, I want you to know exactly what I did. Because what are you actually going to do? Nothing. There's nothing you can do. You sleep on my dad's floor, you joker. She's telling all her girls in school. There's a little ting in my ear. There's some little skanky ting in my ear. I sleep on my dad's floor, bro. I oiled her head top. Vegetable oil. Yeah, I oiled it.

I left her a bottle as well. Dickhead. - Take my phone again. - He won't pay for a new weave, wow. - Yeah, it's long. - Yeah, that's absolutely diabolical. - That is diabolical. What are you doing? You're the dad in this scenario. Are you punishing your daughter? - Yeah, because you can't do that to another human being. It doesn't matter. - Would you find it funny?

If I saw the puckered head top. Yeah. Babe. Yeah. No. Look what your daughter did to me. That would murk me. Look. Crowning here. No. I would refuse. I would find it funny because I can't believe my daughter has the balls to do that. Would you rate her slightly? Or is it just downright? You're taking the fucking piss now. Okay. So it is obviously downright. You're taking a piss. But same, same.

There would be a part of me that's like, damn, damn. - You got a fire in you. - Yeah, and you left the bottle. - Indictive. - Yeah, you're a gangster. - Literally. - You're mobbed. - Yeah. - What's the, what is this? I'm thinking, who is this? - Who is this? - Yeah, who is, you left it in a bottle because you're ready to scrap if she wants to scrap. Damn, damn. I would be like, damn. I would be impressed a little bit. But, and the puckering thing would make me laugh, but I'm not interested in this drama. - Yeah.

I'll send my daughter back to her mum's for the weekend or whatever and I'll get rid of this ting and I'm just like I'm not dealing with this I'm not dealing with this bro you're both boring me I'm just trying to have a happy life bro and what's all this oiling people's head tops what are we doing damn and you ruined I know you ruined my carpet along with it I know you went neat with that 100% I know you ruined my fucking carpet with that who's dealing with that yeah

- That's crazy. - Yeah, that's nuts. But guys, we're gonna charge it there. - Yes sir. - As always, this has been a lovely episode. Catch us on patreon.com/itsingigs, three pound a month. - Don't be a dad. - Run the P and indoctrinate yourself into the biggest and best cult in the world and indulge in five years worth of content, indulge in our unique log cabin show every Saturday. And as always, love of love. - Love, love, love.

Did you know that foreign investors are quietly funding lawsuits in American courts through a practice called third-party litigation funding? Shadowy overseas funders are paying to sue American companies in our courts, and they don't pay a dime in U.S. taxes if there is an award or settlement. They profit tax-free from our legal system, while U.S. companies are tied up in court and American families pay the price to the tune of $5,000 a year. But

But there is a solution. A new proposal before Congress would close this loophole and ensure these foreign investors pay taxes, just like the actual plaintiffs have to. It's a common sense move that discourages frivolous and abusive lawsuits and redirects resources back into American jobs, innovation, and growth. Only President Trump and congressional Republicans can deliver this win for America.

You know how we all have that one friend we go to with all our financial questions? Well, meet Experian, your BFF, as in big financial friend. I

I'm telling you, Experian is going to be your go-to app when it comes to taking control of your finances. Experian not only has a bunch of ways to help you save, but lets you check your FICO score, matches you with credit cards, and a bunch more things you'd expect from a big financial friend. Just download the Experian app and get started for free. Trust me, you'll be up to speed with this BFF in no time. Based on FICO score 8 model. Offers and approval not guaranteed. Terms apply. Offers not available in all states. See Experian.com for details.