Twitter Hall Of Fame Returns! | Patreon Clips
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We're going to hit you guys hard and fast today because we're drunk and we want to have a laugh and we're going to go straight into Twitter Hall of Fame. Ooh, Twitter Hall of Fame. Right. As we've been talking about Kanye for like the past two months. First one. Kanye is a better man than me. I would have been asking Ariana Grande what you're doing at 3am. That W-Y-D. Yeah, literally write W-Y-D in quotations.

At 3am 100% that would have been me 100% bro Fam 100% that would have been me I feel like I've thought about that already That's so weird that you said that Because I genuinely feel like I've had that thought That like if I was Kanye I would literally be in like Ariana Grande's DMs Bro have to Because you have to clap back Yeah You can't have a man sending you pictures Like I'm in bed with your wife I just fucked your wife How do you feel Your kids are in the two rooms down No man How do you feel

No, man. Yeah, I have to smash all of your exes. Yeah. All of them. Father, may no woman find my husband attractive in Jesus' name because I don't have the strength. I came to enjoy myself. Fam, we've spoken about this one before. This is a woman, by the way. Moaning during 69 to avoid doing my part. Yes! Someone admit it. Yes. Someone fucking admit it. Yes, bro. Yes. They all do it. They all do it. Oh, man.

i would say they all do it i wouldn't say they all do it every single girl of evidence 69 has done it so as far as my universe is concerned as far as my character development is concerned they all do it character development that's hilarious all right next one my homie told this girl at a bar that he travels for work bro works at domino's man travels around the around the postcode

My boss asked me where I see myself in five years. And I told him, not here. And now I'm in a meeting with HR. I knew I got fucked up when he unfollowed me on Spotify. I don't even have a response for that. Do the next one. I don't have a response for that, but do the next one. Right now, there's a poor guy working so, so, so hard to gather money and go and spoil his cheating girlfriend. I wish you luck, though. I am...

I worry for people who think of tweets like that. Do you know what I mean? I worry for people who have an outlook on life to tweet that. He's, because he's been through shit. Yeah. Oh, 100%. He's tweeting that from experience. I wish you luck though. Yeah. What's wrong? Tell me what's up. Yeah, yeah. Sit down. What's wrong? Because the marital home is in, it's rocky right now. Who hurt you? Funnily enough, that who hurt you line, I find it so relevant. Mm-hmm.

And because the other day I was cooking up my beef. Did you see my story? My beef and potato puree. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Short river. It took me four hours. I worked my ass off on it with the red wine reduction. I worked my ass off. I put it on my story. Yeah. Bare yass in my DMs like, man said puree is mashed potato. Who hurt you? Who hurt you? No, no, I'm being serious. Who hurt you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I'm trying to live my life. I was just fucking beef and potato. Yeah. Who hurt you? Yeah.

Because you're upset by my dinner. My dinner has riled you up. So what's wrong? Talk to me. Fam, this is a no judgment zone. What the fuck is wrong? Because this is not normal behavior. The amount of DMs I got slating my dinner, my dinner that I slaved over for me.

People hate it. Was it banging? Oh, was it banging? Yes, it was, bro. I can imagine. It was unbelievably good. I love beef short rib. I saw it. I was like, well played. Well played. Because I know my way around a short rib. Oh, I bet you do. I know my way around a short rib. So I was like, I bet. I bet. Say less. All right. Um...

Done that one. Okay. It's crazy how as a kid, you could have had the most traumatic night of your life and still had to go to school the next day. One million percent. Having a bad night's sleep is not an option when you're a kid. It's not. It's not an option. I remember when we were kids, someone's like fire alarm was broken or something. I was up till like four o'clock in the morning and had to be up at seven. That's it. Unlucky. You have to go to school. You're going to school. You can't.

You're going school. You've got no choice. As an adult, you have every choice in the world. Yeah. You've got no choice as a youth. It's so peak. This one sweetened me. Social media be having me thinking if she doesn't respond in five minutes, she's getting raw dogged by my arch nemesis. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Fam? Yes. Yes. I don't really have those thoughts. But sometimes when you know when you're in a back and forth. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you see the ting's red and you just don't hear from them again. You're like, rah. Oh, I swear. Rah. I assume the worst. Of course, everyone does. Everyone assumes the worst. It's natural. My arch nemesis. Of all people.

That's funny. Can't trust a motherfucker who sleeps with their door open. Facts. I don't think I've ever slept with my door open. I sleep with my door open. Do you? I do, actually. That's scary to me, brother. Not wide open, but like three quarters. Three quarters, yeah. That's not even a jar. That's open. That's basically open. Yeah, like a criminal could slide in like that. Nah! Nah!

My door's always closed. Nah. Even if I'm in the yard alone, always closed. Really? Always closed. That's funny. I don't know. I don't really think about it. You know why I think it is random? It's because I dry my towels on my door. Okay. So when I come out of the shower. So you can't even close the door. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you can't really close it. So I just push it and then it just stays there. So I'm used to it being open. But yeah, if I always closed it, then yeah, having it open would scare me. I can't see my door open. I can't. It's weird to me.

it's even like when i lived alone in my first yard always closed fair play random since you live in the mezzanine does it ever scare you because your window's on the mess side right yeah yeah yeah does it ever scare you someone might just sneak in your window no because obviously nowadays during this quote unquote winter period i don't open my window anyway but during summer period not really either you know because i mean i live in many and i feel like many people aren't go on aren't what

In the place I live? Oh yeah, you live in the posh ends. Yeah. Yeah, you come up in life. You live in posh. No one really is about it like that. Like your build, from what I've seen, your building is full of hipster pussies and gamers. Am I wrong? I don't know, to be honest. A man that do TikTok dances, a man that play games till four o'clock in the morning is what I've seen in your building.

Fair enough. So no one was trying to rush your yard. Exactly. No, it's not possible, Robert. Yeah. It's not really not possible. It's really not possible. I'm not going to lie to you. My window will be open during summer. No one's raiding me. It's not possible. The door will be open. The back door. It's not possible. Let's tell it. This one was tweeted by my boy Latif. Dumbledore and Professor Xavier really had people's children fighting criminals. That's true.

That's so true. It's unbearable. Wow, that's true. So true. It's unbearable. This one stung me. Go on. The sight of Arsenal fans enjoying football again makes me feel fucking sick. Fam, they've won eight games on the bounce. And I'm thinking, these men are going to get Champions League and we're not. It's frustrating, James. They're playing good football. It's making me sick.

Yo, fam, I don't know why we don't do it more often, but when you talk about football, it invigorates my soul. Bro. You're so passionate about it. I'll do a few more. I knew school was a scam when I saw Hispanics failing Spanish class. Oh my God. This one spoke to me because my mum is...

is Q for this one. Yeah. You dodge your mum's belt and she go and tell the whole family that you tried to fight her. Bro, that's hilarious. Bro. That's hilarious. Bro. This one, about 17 men sent me this one. You may have seen it too because they may have sent it to you as well. But this is more of an ick as well as a Twitter Hall of Fame. Yeah.

Just saw someone say they got the ick from the way their boyfriend's body flailed around when they got in a car crash. That's so funny.

You, man. Ladies. That's unacceptable. Bearing in mind, you're in the car as well. Flailing too. You had the cognitive ability to forget what's happening around you. Look at your man and see him dangling for his life. And thought, yuck.

How dare you react like that? How are you going to let gravity control you in that way? That's what she's thinking. How can gravity control you like that? You're not a man. I read that so many... Every time I read that, I read that, I'm thinking... Yo, that's embarrassing. That's so funny. That's so funny. Oh, this one was a good one as well. I wonder how many miles I've scrolled with my thumb. That's a good tweet. That's one of them Will Dawes type things. Yeah.

Fuck them wheels and fuck them doors. Fuck them wheels and fuck them doors. I wouldn't want to know because even if it's one mile, I'm embarrassed. Yeah, yeah, yeah, bro. Why would I lie is my best lie. That's toxic behaviour. Yeah, toxic and I've been there. That's toxic behaviour. My mum. Ain't nobody more fake than your mum when she has guests over.

I think that's everyone's mum. Oh, oh. I think that's everyone's mum. Oh, it is everyone's mum. I remember one time I was still working at Grill on the Market. And obviously at that time, obviously hospitality, my mum, my mum doesn't necessarily sometimes know what I do. But because I work in hospitality, she just thinks I know everything about hospitality. So there was a time where I was still living in London, still working at Grill on the Market.

She had some friends over or whatever and she asked me to get some of her friends some food from the kitchen. I was like, okay, whatever. I can't remember what it was and I got them all through my mum and whoever it was at the time. I got them food or whatever and my mum was vexed at me. As soon as I gave her the food, she was like, how can you give me food on a cold plate? Don't you work in hospitality? I wanted to fight everyone in that fucking room. What does that even mean, brother?

Nah. How can you give me food? Big man. Nah, nah, nah, nah. How can you give me food on a cold plate? Nah, nah, nah, nah. Don't you work in hospitality? Nah, nah, nah, nah. She said, don't you work in the kitchen? That's how I knew. Stop, stop. That's how I knew. Stop, stop. That's how I knew she knew nothing about what I did. Stop. She just knew I worked in a restaurant. Fam? I couldn't believe it. To be fair, it's not even everyone's parents. It's not even everyone's parents. I'm pretty sure for the first five years of my PT career, my dad said to people I was a physiotherapist. What?

- Man saw PT and said physiotherapist. - I'm pretty sure my dad used to tell people I'm a physiotherapist. - Yo. - My uncle would bring me a block, how's physio life going? - You just have to black it. - You just have to black it. - I couldn't be bothered. - You just have to black it. - Ah, parents don't give a fuck about you. - They don't give a fly.

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