Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Hey, folks, it's Mark Maron from WTF. I've been talking to all kinds of famous people in my garage since 2009, including a sitting president. You know, I don't imagine you were flying in here on the chopper thinking like, you know, I am nervous about Mark. No, I wasn't. Okay, well, that's good. That would be a problem. It would be a problem. If the president was feeling stressed about it.
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- Don't worry. I don't need you to do what I need to do for myself anymore. I'm a new man in 2025. I am taking accountability. - Yes! - It's not down to you, it's down to me.
- I don't know, I feel like you're gonna say guys and then you just froze. - Yeah, I was gonna say guys and then I was like, what would Sean Paul say? And then I was like, oh, what? 5 million and 40 naughty shorties? - 5 million and 40 naughty shorties. - So random. - So, so, so, so, so. - You shouldn't be allowed to get away with stuff like that. - So random. - You're a musician. 5 million and 40. - Naughty shorties. - Naughty shorties. - I'm trying to think what other intro thing is he's got, ad libs.
- Just, yeah. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah. - I don't even know what you're saying. Feel that what? - I used to just say, I think I said, "Be that girl" when I was younger. ♪ Be that girl ♪ ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ - Oh yeah, I completely forgot that that was the thing, you know? - Well gone. - That he's saying, "Shon-da-paw," which is a reference to the West Indies. - Cricketer. - Cricketer. - Jesus. - Shon-da-paw. - He just does what he wants. - He does.
He does. Fair play. Fair play indeed. God. He was in his bag in like 2006. Bro, when you were talking about slow wines on Patreon earlier, patreon.com forward slash giz and gigs, £3 a month, £10 a day, £10 a day, and you said about frontal wines. That's my favourite Sean Paul song. Yeah, that's... That's my favourite Sean Paul song. Wow. Bro. Wow, what a song. Ah!
- Even the video. - Bro, the video, that's exactly what I'm thinking about. That's exactly what I'm thinking about. The video is a frontal one. Jealous, bro. - My favorite Sean Paul song. - Oh God, that brings me back. That really does fucking bring me back. - Yeah, he was in his back. - Oh, of course he was, bro. - Jesus Christ. - He was on a time. Fucking hell, 5 million and 40 naughty shorties, bro. That's not even speculation for him. - It isn't, it isn't. - That's what he's used to.
- He had the world at the palm of his hands. - Yeah. - He literally did. He had five million galley in the palm of his hands. - Yeah, what? 'Cause surely 5,000 sounds better than five, not sound, it just comes to your mind better. 5,040 naughty shorties. Five million? - Million and 40. - And 40, that means you've missed out like the 5,986,000 shorties.
740 naughty shorties. He was like, no, that's too long. - That's way too long. - I just want 5 million so they know it's grandiose. And then 40 rhymes of shorties. You might not over thinking it. It's just 5 million and 40 naughty shorties. - My gosh, oh Paul. - Anyway. - Guys, we have the question of the week. And the question of the week this week is, what advice would you give your ex? Guys, girls in the comments below, as I said, what advice would you give your ex?
One thing I will say about this one before we get into it is there's not enough pettiness and bitterness in the world. Okay. Or in our community at least. Okay. There's certain calls to action that we require. Yeah. And this requires pettiness and bitterness. And they weren't really. Yeah. I was seeing love yourself more, communicate better. Okay. I was thinking, shut up. Shut up.
- I didn't wanna hear that. - Give me the toxic shit. - Yeah, give me the toxic shit just for once. And I found some, I did some digging and I found it. - Okay, cool, cool, cool. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I've got the most, what? I've got one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Seven of the most toxic ones I could find. - Bet. I wrote two, four, six. I've got eight toxic ones. - Okay, you begin please. - Cool. What advice would you give your ex? Come back, bitch. Off the bat. Off the bat. - Come back, bitch. - Come back. - So is it,
- Do you think it's a come back bitch? - Come back comma bitch. - Yeah, come back comma bitch. Or if it's just like, bitch I need you to come back. - I think he thought, I think it started off as an emotion as the latter. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - But then he got livid about his thoughts and thought, come back bitch. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come back.
Yeah That's how I'm deep to it Alright cool What advice would you give your ex Get some therapy and learn to swallow Yeah Yeah Learn to swallow Learn to swallow What advice would you give your ex Get a god damn backbone Don't let me walk all over you Because I will Hence why I walked right out your life Savagery
- Savagery. - Get a backbone. - Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. Get a goddamn backbone. - Not one of them regular joints. You need a stiff ting. - Damn one, yeah. - Damn, okay, cool. This one. What advice would you give your ex? Commit seppuku by sunset. - Wow! - By sunset? Today? Today? Do you know what seppuku means, Ellis? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah bro That's hilarious That's funny Fucking hell What advice would you give your ex? What advice would you give your ex? Just let them think you're an idiot Don't open your mouth and prove it to them Yeah mum Wow Poetry in motion Wow Next one What advice would you give to your ex? I'd advise her that she go play in traffic Just scatter yourself Yeah Scatter yourself Yeah yeah yeah I don't want you on this earth Yeah
- How come you on this earth? - Well, I see one of them. I didn't write that one. So one of them just said, "Burn in hell." Yeah, all caps, burn in hell. - Burn in hell. That's a scorned human. - Fuck. - What advice would you give your ex? The closet is glass. Just come out already.
We can see straight through. You're transparent. You're transparent. The closet's glass. You're not fooling anyone. Come out already. You're not fooling anyone. You fooled me for a bit. You fooled me for a bit. Because I wanted to be fooled. I wanted to be fooled. Come out. The closet is glass. We can see straight through. Wow, I've never heard it phrased like that. Yeah, same. Just come out already. Yeah, that's crazy. Wow, we can see everything. I remember there was a...
There was a Ute, not that I went to school with. There was a gay Ute who was fast as a motherfucker. I can't remember. I used to run against him in track in the 100 and the two. And he smoked me every time. Bro was gay. Like we knew from like year eight. Oh, swear. Yeah, he was gay. Seriously gay. And he came out. He said he came out to us. I remember there was rumors on Facebook or something that he came out to his mom.
And like when he was like 17 and she kicked him out. And I was like, yeah, he was gay. - From your age? - Yeah, I knew from jump. - And she kicked him out? - Yeah, she was like, nah, not in this God-fearing house. And I was like, were there no signs? Like we all knew. - Yeah, unless obviously you would never have known how he portrayed himself at home, but still. - Yeah, from his posture I can tell, he sat up straight.
they have great posture oh fantastic yeah i'm envious yeah oh bro us heteros are just so slumped with it we're just so scared we don't care we've got no pride
- Straight back? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Wow. I really need a good posture by the way, guys. - Same, same. - I might want to get one of them things that you strap across your, have you seen it? - Yes, I have. I tried it four or five years ago. I tried it in my second year in Manny. - Was your posture that bad? - It was just terrible, bro. It was just terrible. - Then you got one of the support systems. - Yeah, bro. - You keep so much to yourself. I love it, but it's so- - It was just a waste of money. Well, okay.
It was a waste of money for me because I didn't use it probably every day or as many times as I needed to. I also don't think it's, I think it's more of a scam than anything. To be honest. To be perfectly honest. So yeah, I used it. Even when you weren't wearing it, you weren't even fixed up look sharp?
- I would say I was, but it really, really limits your mobility. - Fair. - It does, yes, it makes you like your posture straight, but it limits your mobility too much to even justify the means to an end. - Okay. - Yeah, I just charged it bro. - All right, fair enough. - It was a waste of time. It was a wasted experiment. - That's made me laugh. - All right, what advice would you give to your ex? Stop sucking random people's dicks just because you needed comfort.
Yeah, man. Yeah. I remember I told you that time years ago that one ting hollered me on a skin ting, hollered me on a booty call ting. Okay. And later I found out that she just wanted comfort.
That rings a bell. Yeah. That rings a bell. She just sent, like, I hadn't linked her in months. This was, me and you are watching Homeland at home at the time, I remember. Homeland, wow. Yeah, yeah. We'd just come back from our Midnight Azza trip. Yeah. We were watching Homeland. Cookies and shit. Eating cookies and shit. Yeah. We're the cookies and shit. And we were eating cookies and shit, and she just sent me a note. I think I remember now. Yeah, with extravagant lingerie on.
There was handcuffs and all sorts. And I remember replying saying, you ain't wearing that shit. And she was like, by the time it takes you to get here, I'll be wearing it.
- As you've explained the story, I remember exactly who it is. - Yeah, yeah. - I remember exactly who it is. - And I was like, damn. And I remember I spotted you, I was like, back in a bit. - Yeah, facts. - Yeah, I did. I sped the car over there. - You're only human. - Yeah, banged, banged. - Yeah, you're only human. - And then she was like, "Oh, staying?" - "Are you staying?" And I was like, "Nah, I live two minutes off the road. Why would I stay here?" And she had a single bed. - Yeah. - Yeah, and I was like, "No, that's a terrible idea." And then as we talked more about it,
It came to light. It was just like, the only reason I shouted you is because I'm fucking lonely. And I was like, damn, man. This is the same chick, correct me if I'm wrong, years later, sent you a message or an email saying... I love my man, but James that dick? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Highlight of my immaturity. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
- She would have been having flashbacks. - Yeah, bro. I remember. - Wow. - I love my man. She said, I remember it clear as day 'cause I was in my bed reading it. And it was, I love my man so fucking much. 'Cause I read it thinking, where's this guy? - Who's this for? - Yeah, I haven't spoken to you in multiple years. I don't deserve this 'cause I'm by myself. Good for you. - I'm the lonely one now. - I'm the lonely one looking for comfort and I don't know what I'm willing to wear. To have someone.
- Yeah. - And then she's sending me the shelf speaker, what is this bullshit, bro? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - She's like, "I love my man, I fucking love him." And she said, there was another twisty comment in there, something like, "You'll never match up to him." And I was thinking, damn, but then it said, "Dot, dot, dot, but James, that dick." - I would rise. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, Sam.
I was like, swear. - Yeah. - Damn. Fair play. - Fair play indeed. Fair fucking play. - Fair fucking play. High on my imagery. 'Cause that excited me. - I can imagine, brother. - Yeah. These times I'm by myself. She told me she's in love. - It's a good ego boost. - Yeah, it was a good ego boost, but also like, clearly it's not enough to keep someone around. - Yeah, yeah, in this freezing cold bed.
So, yeah, damn, damn. Right, cool. What advice would you give to your ex? Try going back to dating in your league. Oh, damn. Yeah. So is that also a par on them? She's saying you were punching and I cut you a bligh.
And now it's done. You can't hang with the big boys. You need to go back to your league. - Yeah, lower class. - Yeah. - Damn. - Yeah. - What advice would you give your ex? Stop stealing from girls because karma will destroy you. - Yikes. Yikes. - Peak. - Right. What advice would you give to your ex? I'd advise him to start calling me mum since I just started fucking his dad. - I didn't expect this to go there.
- Brother. - Damn. - Yeah, women can say whatever they want. - They can. - 'Cause there's, I said this before, if you're paying enough, there's always gonna be plant in the seed. I can know for a fact that's not true. But if my ex is bad enough, I'll be like, "Pop's might, if he saw her in the island Sainsbury's, he just might." - Stop. - And that's a scary thought. - Yeah, it's a terrifying thought. - 'Cause I'm fucking his dad.
Yeah That's seppuku chat That is seppuku chat Yeah way before sunset I'll do it then and there Alright last one from me What advice would you give your ex You were right to worry about the guy best friend Too bad you weren't my guy best friend Jesus You were right to worry about my guy best friend you know You were right to worry about him He fucked the shit out of me He fucked the shit out of me Too bad you weren't my guy best friend Damn Yeah bro Last one for me
What advice would you give your ex? You should have believed your friends. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Oh. He was a cheat. Should have believed your friends. They tried to warn you. You weren't listening. And now look at you. Ruined. Heartbroken. Oh. Picking the pieces up.
Jesus. You should have believed your friends. You should have believed your friends. They were right all along. Damn. Yeah. That's a shank and a twist. That really is a shank and a twist. And it's actually not fair. That's a shank and a twist. But anyway, guys. Welcome, welcome, welcome, man. Yeah, it's a... God, it's a fantastic time to be alive. I'm not going to lie. Since I have been on my supplement game recently. Yes. Sleep game, supplement game, skincare game. My positivity. Mm-hmm.
Love to hear it, bro. I'm so positive at the minute. Gang. I'm having far less emotional reactions to things. Okay. I've noticed for the longest that like, I'm so quick to frustration. Okay. For things that are really, really minor. And I've noticed like, even things that we were doing before this episode, like,
where we said, "I can't bother, I can't bother, I can't bother." Those things would get me to a point where I'm like, "I don't wanna do this." I've noticed over the last few months, like I'm getting more and more situations where I'm like, "Fuck it, I don't care." And it's funny, but I can tell I'm actually frustrated. - Okay. - And I'm realizing since I've been like sleeping better, supplementing better, eating better, still no sweets, no sugar, this year.
And I feel fantastic. Good you, as you should man. Same with me, apart from us, I was saying to Rem before we started shooting today, there's been like, I've had two or three occasions over the past two to three weeks where I'm not getting any deep sleep. I can feel present whilst I'm sleeping, if that makes sense. So I'm waking up,
mentally exhausted, but my body feels relaxed because I went to bed early yesterday. I got into bed at like 11, but I couldn't drop sleep, sleep properly until like gone one o'clock. But I also didn't like, I know I didn't snore last night. Do you see what I'm saying? It was annoying for me, but I woke up, got into work today with a positive attitude. I was, I was happy. I was gassed and I was driving to work today. I was listening to, um,
I was into this like old school R&B and it got me like karaoke mood. So I was just like, I'm in a very, very good mood today. Even though my lack of sleep was imminent or prominent rather, it just, I was like, fuck it, let me not use that to make a downer on the start of my day.
I've also been on my vitamins as well. I've been taking my K2, my- - D3. - D3 and B12. I've been taking it every day for like the past two and a half months. - Gang, I'm gonna order you some magnesium as well. It will help you sleep. - No, bros, I had this conversation this morning. I'm gonna order it as well, don't worry. I don't need you to do what I need to do for myself anymore. I'm a new man in 2025. I am taking accountability. - Wow, yes! Yes! - It's not down to you, it's down to me. - That's the sexiest bar I've ever heard in my life.
Are you taking the piss? I be dead ass. I know you are. It's not down to you, it's down to me, James. I'm focused. That's sexy. That's an attractive trait. I can really see it through a yass eye sometimes. I'm not lying to you, Fjord. I wouldn't.
I can really see it through their eyes. That's too funny. That's accountability, bro. Oh, bro. I'm just tired, bro. I'm tired of being tired. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired, bro. Same here. There's a ting on TikTok, RIP, that...
She's like meticulous. Okay. Meticulous with just like OCD stuff. Cleaning and little tasks and doing this and like the type of person that's like if she's taking supplements in the Monday to Friday type fucking little clips and everything meticulous. And she has this saying is like, if it takes five minutes, do it now. Facts. I've been, that's
that's my my mantra this week you man have been productive for the first time in probably six months last week i ticked off an entire to-do list oh and that's a gm that's an achievement that's easier said than done oh bro for real for real i was on it your man's been proactive good to hear bro the last couple weeks good to hear yeah i'm i'm i'm and that again
is helping me sleep as well. - Oh yeah, 'cause there's not- - There's nothing up here, bro, it's done. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - It's all fucking done. - Very, very valid. - Yeah, bro, it's fucking done. I'm so gassed about it. - Well played, man. - Yeah, I'm really, really excited. Right, you had a question for the gang, no? - I do. - Also, I'm so happy your eyes are better. - Bro, I told you, give it a week, it's fine. - Okay, go. - Yeah, it was literally, I... - As I was saying to you guys, I think it was on Patreon episode, I was using the like,
What's the word that they use? It was more of like a more excessive version of the exfoliation. So I just got the regular one. But I've not touched it. I'm not going to touch it. I'm not going to use it probably until we get to Australia. Okay, gang. I'm going to give my face some time to just clear it all away. But yeah, I've been very, very, very hydrated using aloe vera and all that shit. So it's been good. Gang, I am...
I nearly fucked up as well. Nearly. I'm glad I didn't. I got, well, I got like an under eye cream, like dark circles and shit. Yeah. Yeah.
- No, this one. I have two, I have a daytime one. I don't know, that might be the one, the daytime one, but I have a daytime one and nighttime one. So I've been using the daytime one every day, gang, gang, gang. And then the nighttime one, I used it one day and then I went to use it a second day. And then I looked on the ting and it was like, for the first time you use it, use it twice in the first week. For the first few weeks, use it twice a week. And then you can start using it every other day from then, maybe. And I was thinking,
If I didn't, I was happy to not read that. I don't even know why. I don't even know what made me read it. I would have been in the same thing. And I said in that episode, karma's gonna come for me and I don't take jokes about my appearance lightly. I'm so happy I read those instructions. - I'm happy for you, G. - If I came in with those critical things that you had. - You would have to wear shades. - Yeah, 100%. It would be toxic, J.
- The alias Toxic J will make his first appearance that day. - That's hilarious. - And I'll come with that attitude 'cause I'll be upset. - I know you would have been. - Fuck. All right, cool. - Right, this is a pick your poison. This has not been in a while. Would you rather slash pick your poison, you've had a one night stand, right? - Okay. - Would you rather she ends up pregnant or you leave with HIV?
- Oh shit. - You have to pick. - It's really dark. I hope you didn't come out that way yourself. - No, I didn't. - Okay, good. - I saw it somewhere, but they didn't say pregnant HIV. They said something else in HIV or something else in herpes. I can't remember. I made it darker. There's currently no cure for HIV. - Yeah, you just treat that, John. Am I the J of today? - Yeah, this happens today. - Oh, so she has incentive. - To keep the ute? - Yeah. - I think you're just stuck with both. They're both permanent. You know what I mean?
- That's why it's hard. - One's a disease, the other's HIV. - I'm joking, I'm joking, I'm joking, I'm joking. I'm joking, I'm joking, I'm joking. Right, you don't know, no. I don't know 'cause that text would mark me. Both of them texts would mark me.
- I think I would choose the you, you know? - I was gonna say. - It's not even a think, I know I would choose the you. I know I would choose the you. Especially we did that Reacts, go check out our Reacts YouTube channel. We did the wholesome dad shit. - When he was carrying the girl and he made that noise. - Yeah, you, you, you, boy. - It was the cutest thing ever. - It's cute as fuck, man. Ain't nothing cute about HIV, bro. - Factual. - Yeah.
There's also a one night stand, James. You don't know this woman. You don't know her. You don't know who they are, bro. What they're about, their morals. Anything. Their morals. That's facts. Because they could raise anything. This is from the club? It's from wherever you deem, bro. It's a one night stand, so wherever you pick them up from. Probably the club. There you go. Um...
Damn. Yeah, bro. You can raise anything. Fuck. Still, let me step in. Raise anything? Yeah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. We're not doing that. I agree. We're not raising anything. Personally, it has to be, I'm livid for years, but I'm picking the child. Yeah, 100%. Because I can't do that to my body. I just can't give my, because that's me charged. Obviously, yes, there's, you can take some stuff, blah, blah, blah, but I'm not,
actively warning the next person I sleep with, by the way, X, Y, and Z. I'm just not, I'm not having that conversation. I'm just not. I'm never fucking again. Yeah. I'm just never fucking again.
- Okay. - Ellis? - Yeah. - Did you put L? - Yeah, I don't know why. - Fair play. - I was hoping it went under Scott's name. - No, I heard it. - That actually was my nickname. - L. - That and Smellis. But yeah, L was the main one. - Did you smell? - No, I didn't. It was just 'cause it rhymed. What rhymes with Ellis? - I wouldn't even thought about it. - I wouldn't think of Smellis. - They just put it in front of my name and it's spelled Smellis.
So they were like, oh, what can I rhyme with? Fucking irrelevant. Yeah, I used to get called L as well. Yeah. And the name was L. That's what a smell is. That's fucked up. That's fucked up, bro. Did it stick? Only like primary. It was like primary school. Oh, okay. Primary's not too bad. I couldn't go into fucking year 10 and so I was like, oh, smell is. Year 10 smell is is peak, bro. You're taking the piss. Yeah, no, it was primary, primary school. Damn. But primary school, you just say shit, you know?
But still. Primary school is where you have stuff like that, isn't it? Yeah, they didn't have nicknames for me, but they just took my gal.
I told you Muhammad Ali yeah Beat me up a tut my girl So primary is where it's at For rough Rough shit Because we just don't We shouldn't be allowed Playtime shouldn't even be allowed Unsupervised Because we just do shit Yeah We get married under the The tree Yeah With the gummy rings And all this kind of stuff We make up nicknames For Innocence Yeah Yeah we fight I never got married I was an usher At one of the
primary school weddings. - That's a fucking piss take. - That's a fucking piss take. - Said where everyone goes and I think I was also the ring bearer. I was two jobs. - You didn't even- - The Haribo rings. I used Haribo rings. - You weren't even the fucking priest?
- No, I didn't initiate it. - You were the usher? - I didn't initiate it. I was a ring bearer in the yosher. Yeah, I let people in and fucking- - Nah, they did you dirty, bro. - We're outside, aren't we? - Gave some rings, yeah, but- - Ring bearers, what they do for their- - We acted out the whole thing. - They tie a dog, like a pillow to a dog in it and then they- - I just came with two Haribo rings.
and said, "Oh, which colour do you want?" And then, you know. - This tangent has been interesting. - Yeah, yeah. - It sheds some light on your youth. It really has. - Answer the question is, I wasn't Usher. - Fuck. - I'd hate that. Yeah, yeah. I'd be annoyed about it. - Oh, the HIV or the youth? - Yeah. - Yeah. - You're picking youth? - Yeah, it'd have to be one of it. - God, I think your youth would be cute.
- I don't think it would be. - What? - Ellis, please. - You've not seen my baby pictures, mate. - I have, I saw one. - They're awful. - Where did you see them? - My tongue is fucking massive. - Oh, you said that before. - My tongue's fucking massive. - Oh yeah, Rem, do I say tongue weird? - Yes. - Oh yeah, you do. - Yeah, a little bit. - All right, cool. - Tongue, tongue.
Yeah, even though it's it's just saying it as it's spelt and no yeah All right, we will tip on this out recently. I didn't know as in tong tong tong. It's weird Yeah, all right. It's no shade though. I say you flip me so yeah, oh Yeah, that's how I when you asked me do I say it weird. That's what came to mind Flipping me it was crazy
With tongs Fucking crazy bro Yeah With my tongs What would you pick? Fucking move on Yeah That's my Ute innit
- So you're picking the child over HIV? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not... - What did you Google? - Dreadhead. - People with HIV can have children without passing on the virus if they receive the right care and treatment. - Yeah, I was just curious. Oh, right. - Fair play. - Oh yeah, that's just to learn. I don't know much about HIV, whatever, but yeah, I needed to Google that. - That's a rough pick your poison. - That is a rough pick your poison. - That was dark. - Guys, girls, in the comments below, pick your poison. - Cool.
Right, I have a game I want to play. Okay. Rem will know this. I was listening to Destin Conrad the other day. Mm-hmm. And there's a song on his album called War. War? War. Okay. Yeah. And these men love pipe. Mm-hmm. Yeah, they sing about pipe in that song. Mm-hmm. Or is it a feature song? It's not a super feature song. No, there's just voices that sing pipe praises in this song, right? Okay, okay. Um...
But the song is basically him saying, I will go to war for that dick. So there's some lyrics that go along with it. So I thought I'd give you, man, an example. So this is how much they love Pipe in this song. A couple of random bars that I picked up. Someone says, I'd go to hell for that dick. Splash all the bottles of Chanel for that dick. Shit, I might as well for that dick.
Bail a nigga out of jail for that dick. Steal a couple cars just to sell for that dick. I'll sing Adele for that dick. Fuck. Yeah. I'm finna fall asleep for that dick. I'm awake for that dick. I was almost late for that dick. Damn. I was baking cakes for that dick. Damn. Yeah. What's the rate for that dick? Damn. I'm finna pay for that dick. Damn. Yeah, bro. Yeah. Damn.
If I'm gay? Yeah. Those are bars. Yeah, you can't say that to me. Jesus. What's the rate? Bro, that's pen game. Yeah, 100% it is. Damn. Yeah, after the Adele, rolling in deep for that dick. I better go to sleep for that dick. Yeah, bro. Jesus Christ. I was almost late. Shit, I might as well. Yeah, bro. Those are fucking bars, bro.
- So I thought just for some fun, we could flip the script and we could do a rhyme time for the first time in a long time about that puss. - Okay, okay, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. - Yeah? - Yeah, I'm down. - All right, cool. - Like I'll slay for that puss. - Slay, okay, cool, slay. Right, I will pay for that puss. - I will get on my knees and pray for that puss. - I'll lose my mind, I'll go cray for that puss. - I'll find a way for that puss.
- Wow. Shooting threes like Stephen Clay for that puss. - Shut the fuck up. - I'm out. - You're out? - I'm out. - All right, damn. - Damn. - That was a good first round. - That was an amazing first round. - It was. - Right, we're still going? - Yeah. - Tween, tween, through the legs, step back, I'll shoot a J for that puss. - Oh my God. - Yeah. - Fair. I need it right now today for that puss. - That's Ellis.
Like a shot of Henny, I'm a sway for that puss. Oh man, I've got no more bars, ain't no way for that puss. I said way, by the way. Oh shit. Did I? My first one. Oh yeah, you did say, I'll find a way for that puss. What did you say? I've got no more bars, ain't no way for that puss. It's the same. Fair, fair. All right, Rem's out, Rem's out. I can't think of any more. I just can't think of any more. I'm out. I'm playing home and away for that puss. Fair. Yeah, fair. GG's.
- Oh, that was good. - That was good. - We need to do another one. - Yeah, we do, we do, we do, we do, we do, we do. - Today for that puss. - I'll find a way for that puss. That was the bar, today. - Right guys, round two for that puss. - I'm finna attack that puss. - Finna break out of this shack for that puss. - I hope you're ready, I'ma pack that puss.
- Crazy. - Bro. - That's crazy. - I'ma pack that puss. - That's crazy, Ellis. - Oh fuck, that's funny. - Wow. - Fuck, you got bars. - Yeah, you have got bars, bro. You really, really do. - Fuck, that's funny. - Damn, I'ma pack that puss. Finna smoke some crack for that puss. Damn. - I'ma lay on my back for that puss. - Oh shit. - I'm relaxed for that puss. - Damn.
Am I retracting that puss? - I'm gonna go back to back for that puss. - Sorry. - Sorry, sorry, sorry. - I'm about to get jacked for that puss. - Ooh! - I'm a snacking that puss. - Oh my God. - I will never lack in that puss. - I've said back already, haven't I? - Mm-hmm. - I'm returning a Mac for that puss. - Good call back.
- That is disgraceful. - That is, return of a mack for that puss. - Yeah. - That's a bar. - I'm about to spend a stack for that puss. - Fair. I've got the knack for that puss. - Going back to black for that puss. - Fair. - I think I'm out. I'm thinking too long. - All right, say less. - Run 100 meters on a track for that puss. - I'm a travel and pack, oh no, I already said pack. I'm done. - Fair, fair. - Don't know how to act for that puss. - Nice.
Can I get a return of the Mac for that puss? - I literally just said return of the Mac. - Yeah, he literally said that. - Yeah. - I didn't hear you say that. - Bro, you reacted to me saying it. - I didn't hear you say that. I thought you said something else then. - What do you think I said? - I don't know, but it wasn't that 'cause I just said it. - Damn, yeah, he said it, bro. - Return of the Mac for that puss. - Nah, bro, I didn't. - You reacted, bro. - But I heard you say something else.
- Fair play bro. - I don't know what the hell you say bro. - That was Twilight's Odie. - That was Twilight's Odie. - Damn, alright cool. Draws in for the click clack for that puss. - Fair play. - Alright cool. - Yeah, I mean like a tic tac for that puss. - Ooh. - Fair. - One more or no? - I'm enjoying it, I'm not gonna lie to you. - You enjoying it? - Yeah, enjoying it. - Alright, one more. - I'm feeling hot for that puss. - I might take a shot for that puss. - Mm. - I ain't feeling to get got for that puss. - Mm.
Nah, I'm out. Seriously? I fought with you but it didn't work. Fair. I'm finna lose the plot for that puss. I'm gonna hit that spot for that puss. I've been waiting day dot for that puss. Singing Travis Scott for that puss. I'm finna slot in that puss. Find an AI bot for that puss. I got the hot spot for that puss. I'm finna spin a block for that puss. I'm out.
- I'll be drinking snot from that puss. - Oh my God. - Nigga doing TikToks for that puss. - Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. - Yes, I'm happy I won one, yes. - Yeah, well played, well played, well played, well played, well played, well played, well played. - That was good. - Well played, good game. - Well played. - That was a good game. - Oh, we need to do for that puss. Austin, wow, I'm locked in for that puss. - Yeah, I'm locked in for that puss. - Jesus. - That's puss.
Wow, that was it. That was fun. Well played. Well played. Well played. Oh, right. Blind Rankin? Blind Rankin. Right, guys and girls, it's time for Blind Rankin. We've been doing this for a couple of weeks now, so you know the drill. This week's topic for Blind Rankin is tropical drinks. Okay. Damn. Okay. As you know, list one to five. Here we go. Number one, Lilt. Damn. Yeah. Yeah. Fanta Fruit Twist. That's a drink.
That's actually a drink. - That is a serious beverage. - Fruit twist. - Next. - Tropicana. - Orange flavor? - The tropical flavor. - Oh, I remember that. In the lunch boxes, the little one. That's a good one. - Number four, Rubicon. - What flavor Rubicon? - The most tropical flavor.
- Does it not have a specific tropical flavor or are they just tropical fruits? - No, they have mango, guava, pineapple. - Oh, okay. - They're all tropical. - Yeah, they're all tropical. - They're just tropical fruits. - Yeah, so tropical fruits. - So which one would be? - Let's say guava. - Okay. - Okay, that's fine then. - Last but not least, blind ranking, Rio. - I'm livid. - I'm livid actually. - I'm really upset. - I'm quite livid, yeah. - This has all gone wrong. - That's a shambles.
That's a shambles of a ranking. Wow. Right, guys, hope you played at home as well. Blind ranking. Ellis, we're going to start with you. What is your number five tropical juice, sir? Number five is Fanta. Fanta fruit twist number five. It's controversial. I don't like Fanta. Period? Don't like it. Why? I've had orange. I've had...
- I've had the tropical one. - Have you had lemon? - Yeah, I've had lemon. - Fanta lemon is unbelievable. - I just don't like Fanta. I find it, I like subtle flavors and I find it a bit too much. - Is it the fizz or the flavor?
- This is a bit of both. It is so fizzy. It's like seven up level fizzy. - Stings the lips to be fair. - It's very like fucking hell. - You're parched? - Stings the lips fair. - You are parched. You can't go up a fan table parched. You can't. - You need a soft jaw. - Fair play. - Yeah, it's just not a big fan. - All right, man. Fair enough. - That's bold. - Jimmy, number five.
Number five for me was Rubicon. Happy with that? No. No, I'm not. Rubicon five is crazy. Yeah, it is. Yeah, I was more humbled with, I was settled with it. When you said Guava was my least favorite Rubicon flavor. So I was like, okay, cool. But the way the tables turned, yeah, it shouldn't be anywhere near five. Fair play. Romsky, number five. Same. Rubicon. Yeah. I'm assuming you're not happy with that. I'll start with you again. What's your number four? Tropicana.
all right man same chopicana yeah that's a drink yeah it is it's really is a drink and i remember having it in pat lunch and i was i lost my mind for it it's a drink do you know how expensive they are the big bottles yes bro it's a drink you man yeah it's freshly squeezed yeah it actually is really fucking good it's unbelievable actually now that i'm thinking about it um
- Number four's crazy. - It's not on purpose, it's right back in. - I hear it. I hear it. - You're triggering me. - I'm just annotating what I'm hearing. - All right, cool. - Ellis. - I'm as fourth as well, chop a corner.
- Yeah, yeah. I've never had the tropical one though. I've only ever had the orange and I don't like the orange. - Really? - From them, no. I don't like- - From them? - Like no. - From them, no. - Do you know orange juice? I like organic, like 100% just orange juice. - That's Tropicana. - That's not organic. - Yes it is. - It tastes too like perfumey. I've had it before and it's a bit like- - No, it's the best one you can get. - Especially with the bits. - I don't like bits either. Bit immature with that, but don't like bits.
Damn, bro. You just don't like Capricano. I like a smooth drink. Yeah, I guess, yeah. Bro, you want to be getting on that Whole Foods orange juice? Oh, yeah. That was my favourite place in America, food-wise. What's the brands that do the apple and elderflower? Capella? Capella. That couldn't have made this list. Oh, yeah, Capella's good. Capella apple and elderflower is my favourite drink. That is so good. But Capella don't do any tropical drugs, do they? No, they don't. Not that I've seen anyway. I've not seen. Nah. But yeah, the elderflower. Apple and elderflower's... My brother used to... Cloudy. Fuck!
- Fuck it. My dad was living. My brother used to go through bowls after bowls of it. - They're very spendy. - They're so expensive, bro. It's like three pounds 20 a bottle. My dad was fucking vast. - Oh, it's so juicy. I'm licking my lips, it's so juicy. Fuck. - Ellis, what's your number three? - My number three is Lil. I do like Lil. - I love Lil. - Lil's really good. - Lil is really good. - Lil's really good. - What's your three, James? - Mine is Fruit Twist.
- That's a wholesome three. - Yeah, it's a good three. I love Fruit Twist. It's a wholesome three. - Rem? - Same. - Fruit Twist? - Yeah. - Fair play. Fair play. What's your number two, Rem? - Lilt. - Pretty sure me and Rem have gone bang for bang. We're exactly the same. - Yeah. - Lilt. Yours? - Lilt. - Damn. Yeah. - Rubicon. - Fair. - Fair. - For a second, yeah. I like Rubicon. - And last but not least, your number one, please, Ellis. - Number one is Rio. - James? - Yeah, Rio.
- Some bullshit. - Yeah, absolutely. - That's some bullshit. - That should be five. - That should, yeah. - That's fucking bullshit. - It should seriously be five. - So, oh, so clearly you guys aren't happy with your number one. Ellis, were you happy with your number one? - No, I probably would have put Rio like fourth. 'Cause again, I don't like Fanta. And I'll put Rubicon first. - What would you have put first? - If I had the choice, probably Lil.
Yeah, probably Lil' or now I'm thinking about it, maybe even Tropicana now that we've gone back on. That's what I'll talk about again. It's really good. It's really fucking good. Remo, what would you be in your number one? Lil' to Rubicon for sure. Fair. Yeah. This list is a travesty.
Yeah that upset me You tried to keep us on our toes Because Rem tried to suss your Agenda innit Yeah It depends on how he reads them Of course Of course And that's how it goes Blind ranking But Yeah Starting off with three I was banking on that last one To be an absolute Banger And you threw a spanner
- Sorry G. - Rio. - Rio's nice though. - It's just not. - If you put all five of these in front of me bro, I'm picking Rio last every time. - Fair, fair. - Last time I bought offer, I bought Rio, it was on offer. - Oh wow. - Yeah. - Well, I'm sorry you don't give a fuck about it. - Yeah, no one gives a fuck about Rio. - That's true. - I don't know how they're still in business.
They're not competing. Someone's drinking them. Yeah, someone's drinking it, to be fair. What would your order be? Tropicana, Lilt, Rubicon, Fruit Twist, Rio. Fair. That would be my top five in that one. Fair. Right, Phil's got a thread for us now. Yes, sir. So I found this thread on Instagram, I believe. It's from KevOnStage, actually. I really do love KevOnStage. Same, man. He's a funny guy. He's a very funny guy. I messaged him the other day.
- What'd you say, Wild God? - Yeah, I just said like, Wild God, you old fuck. Nah, I just told him I miss him and was hoping to see him like whenever he's like, 'cause I know when we first, first met him, he'd just done a show in London, I think. - Yes, he had finished, he's wrapped up his tour. - Yeah. - Yeah. - And that was two years ago? - Yes. - And I think he's doing another show.
- They're on tour again. - Yeah, he's doing another tour again. Well, he's on tour now. - He's on tour at the moment. - Yeah, he's on tour right now. - A Q tour or something like that? - Yeah, and he's doing another show in London. - Oh, sick. - So I just asked to see him, if we could see him when he's in London. - Nice, nice, nice. Right, so KevOnStage tweeted, "What's the craziest thing you've ever seen with your own eyes happen in church?" - I'm so glad I didn't read into history. I remember the exact post you're talking about. It's a gang. - Fair play. Two teens got caught giving each other head in a church bathroom.
at the Brandywine location. Don't know where that is. The pastor called an emergency team meeting and gathered us in the event room. The nigga was so furious, he said, "If you ain't a virgin, stand up." Nobody stood up until he said, "Jesus is watching. Jesus is watching, stand up." - Stand up if you ain't a virgin. Tell me the truth. - Shame the devil. - Damn. - Right. I attended a church service where the preacher was preaching about homosexuality.
And I was in his bed the night before. Yeah. Yeah. I was at a revival and the preacher was healing people. Went up to this guy in a wheelchair with a blanket over his lap down on the floor. The preacher screamed, get up and walk and ripped the blanket off. The guy had no legs. I'd apologize profusely. I'm just like, I was caught up with Christ. Yeah.
- No, I actually was. I was caught up with Christ, bro. And sometimes it gets the best of me, bro. I'm sorry. - Yeah, you feel it. You feel it in your bones. - Yeah. But we're not gonna give up on you. We're not gonna give up on you. And you shouldn't give up on your fucking self. - We'll find a way. This lady was going down the line speaking in tongues and touching all the kids, making them fall. She got to me and when I didn't fall, she gut punched me. - You better fall. - Yeah, fucking fall over.
- What? Oh, cut punches nuts. Don't scare me. It'll be the fear that makes me cut more than the actual pain. - Facts, facts. - Wow. - The pastor pointed at a random lady in the back of the church, said God was speaking to him and had a message specifically for her. She made her way up to the altar and the pastor asked what her name was and he put the mic to her lips. She said, "How God don't know my name." - Valid, valid.
- You're also asking too many questions. - Too many questions. - Answer the question. What is your name? - Facts. Someone stood up and booed the pastor while he was preaching. I'm talking boo and then walked out. - Boo! - Boo! - Boo! - Rotten tomatoes. - Yeah! - Boo! - Rotten tomatoes. - Boo! - And walked out.
- The fuck is this? - During service? - Yeah, nah bro. - It's not a rating. - Yeah, I've never spent any time in church. - I used to go to church when I was younger. I think I mentioned this before on here. Have I? - Wait, what? - Yeah, I used to go to church when I was younger. - With who? - My dad, my family. Yeah. - Christian church? - Yeah, but what other churches though? - No, 'cause I don't know if you man call Moss Church for slang or some shit like that. I don't know.
No, so I think there was a period of time my dad flip-flopped. Oh. Yeah, he took us to church when we were, this is primary school maybe? Primary school maybe, so yeah. I used to go to church maybe for, it could have been a year, it could have been months, I have no idea, I have no recollection. Interesting. I used to go to church when I was younger. First time I ever went to church was when my dad got married. I was like, fuck it, I was grown.
- Was that for the service? - For the service, yeah. I've never been in a church. Apart from maybe like school nativity or something like that. - Of course, of course. - But yeah, I've never been in one. - Did it make you feel some type of way? Or it was just, I'm just here. - Yeah, I'm just,
in a venue in a venue yeah yeah um but like I did I do find the concept interesting I remember so I used to have really religious discussions with one of my ex-girlfriends she was a devout Christian and he used to have like I used to like um just ask her a lot of questions um to help me to help me understand um
And she was on about like finding Christ. Like everyone will have the opportunity to find Christ in their life, right? And I was like, that doesn't make sense. Like what if someone who's grown up in a completely Muslim country doesn't even know what you're on about? Like how are they gonna have the opportunity? She was like, oh, everyone have the opportunity. And I was like, that doesn't make sense. And then, or at least to believe that,
in something of that nature. And then I remember the next day, I was at Sixth Form. The next day was so weird. I went into human biology and my lecturer was taking us through just like the circulatory system. Okay. And just how like,
how well the human body's designed to deal with whatever comes its way. Adversary, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. From like breathing oxygen, what that does to this, to this, to this, and then it turns into this, and then it turns to this, and then you fucking absorb this and discharge this, and it turns to this, and then if this happens, and this happens, and this happens, like all these things that happen. And it was like, and I remember him being a scientist was like, and now you want to tell me there's no God? Yeah.
He's like, "This shit don't make sense." And it was the day before. She said, "Everyone's gonna have their virginity." I was like, "Goddamn, bro. Damn." I'm awake. I see it. I was like, "Shit, bro. This guy's a man of science." And he's spitting bars at me. - That's hilarious. - I couldn't believe it, man. - Yeah, I bet. Your eyes widened. - Yeah, wow. - But you had to know what to tell. - Yeah, I could know what to tell. - There was no context for it. - Yeah, but the room got bright.
The room got real bright. - I hear it. - It was fucking crazy. - I hear it, that's hilarious. - Yeah, I couldn't believe it, man. That was fucking amazing. - Did you tell her, your ex at the time? - Hell no. - 'Cause she would've tried to hurt you. - Yeah, yeah, she, 100%. - You're coming to church on Sunday. - Yeah, you're coming now. You're sold, bro. - What do you mean? Don't ruin it. - Facts. - Yeah, 100%. - Go with the motion. - Yeah, 100%. I remember when the first day I met her parents, she was like, "You have to say that you go church."
You have to say it. And I was like, luckily they didn't ask me, but I was uncomfortable. Yeah, it was rough.
Game is a game. Fair enough, G. They're lovely people. She was a lovely person. Right, guys, we're going to charge it there. We love you. We appreciate you. As always, guys, please head on over to patreon.com forward slash shits and gigs. It's going to cost you three pound a month. Run the P. And then over there, you will find a plethora of episodes over the years that we've done. We were talking earlier about how we're closing in on 500 episodes, which would be insane. Barbaric.
Question, what do you... Okay, this is a question for the babies and the man-them-gal-them out there. What do you think we should do for our 500th episode? Our 500th episode. That's a good question.
Let us know in the comments below. Yeah, man. Let us know. You'll notice that your daddy's sporting the varsity. Yes, sir. I am in love. I'm not even just on a self-priming thing. I really love this jacket. It's one of the best things I own. Yeah. I just wear it to wear it. It's buff, man. Because I love it. It's like, it's amazing. And like, it's one of the things that it just, we made it on a novelty thing. And it's like, it's warm. It's comfortable. It fits perfectly. It looks really nice. I'm just like, damn, I love it.
- Love it. So guys, if you want one, head over to our website, the link's in the description. Grab yourself one. It's the perfect time of year for it. Delivery's pretty quick. And yeah, I'm gas man. I'm so, you might not understand when I'm talking about this positivity thing, you're really not deep in it, what it means to me. I was beginning to think that I was just a petty, frustrated person.
And that's like, we spoke about it. You know, when you first ever spoke to me about therapy ages ago and I said, I'm gonna start seeing a therapist. I remember one of my points was being like,
I find myself getting frustrated by shit all the fucking time. And I understand. I remember one of my issues with going to therapy before was that like, there's no point in me going because I understand I'm the issue. I understand that people are just getting on with their lives and no one's trying to piss me off or nothing's really happening. But like, I'm getting so frustrated with tiny, tiny, tiny little minor inconveniences and it's an issue. And I was like, I need to resolve it. And like,
I remember at the time thinking there's no point seeing a therapist because I understand that like, James, you shouldn't be getting frustrated at this. I thought there's only, the only reason I should go was because if I'm like, oh, this person's pissing me off, this person's pissing me off, they're pissing me off. And then someone being like, maybe you're the issue. Maybe you should go speak to someone about it. But because I was so hyper aware of the fact that I know I'm the fucking issue. I just need to learn to deal with this frustration. And I was thinking,
Therapy again would still be like a good option. I just don't understand. Like I like to think I'm like an easygoing person my whole life I've not been quick to anger. I'm just not that kind of guy I didn't understand why the last couple months a couple years. I was like, bro. I'm just like snapping a shit the last few weeks process my sleep supplementation Like food everything has been up bro. It's just not happening anymore. That's very good to him. I'm very very good It's good bit scary
I'm talking about I thought I saw something wrong with me. - It's growth, I guess. Like you said, you just said you are very hyper aware of your situation. You clearly just didn't know how to train your brain or train your body to overcome these situations.
but you're doing it inadvertently. Like you didn't purposely do all these health kicks to stop you from being frustrated. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - So it just inadvertently happened this way. - I get you, I hear you bro. And it's amazing. And coincidentally, not even coincidentally, for context, I don't think I told you, man, I told you yesterday, the supplements I've been taking is the exact list that I got from my methylation test. All those months ago, I never got around to actually getting all the shit. So I have the exact shit that they told me to take is what I'm taking. And it's only been like two, three weeks.
And it's been night and day, you man. - I need to, that brings me onto the point of me deep diving into the results that we got and just fixing my life, to be honest. You said, correct me if I'm wrong, but you said, obviously there's the report that there is there and there's an option for them to- - Break it down over Zoom. - Over Zoom. - Yeah. - I might do that. - Fair. - I might do that. - I think it's a good idea. - Yeah, because they're the fucking specialists. So they're gonna tell me,
in layman's terms what I need to do. - Yeah, they can give you a recommended list. They'll also add a list of like, it has links and everything where you can get the shit. So there's like, on top of that, they will also actually just give you the list and say, "Buy this shit." - Perfect. I'm gonna do that this week. - Gang. - No procrastination. - Please do. - Yeah. - Please do. All right, guys, L3G3, love of love. - Gang, gang, gang. - Acast powers the world's best podcasts. Here's the show that we recommend.
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