WHAT TRAUMATIZED YOU AS A KID?!
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- The ting was quaking. - Oh my God. - When I say you man, I was up in my butt bed staring at the ceiling. Guys. - Girls. - Welcome back in. - Welcome back indeed. - It's a beautiful, beautiful Monday. - Fun day. - We're happy everyone's in the building. - Yes sir. - Talk to me. - I'm just feeling, I said this a couple of weeks ago, I am feeling good right now. - Good bro. - I'm feeling good, I'm feeling positive. - Good. - I'm feeling not like snappy or grumpy or- - Okay, okay.

Boo hooey. Okay. I'm just like gang man. I'm excited to record with my friends. I'm excited to laugh. Nice. So everyone be on your best form, man. Don't let me down. Don't let me down, man. But anyway, question of the week this week. Question of the week. And the question of the week this week is what traumatized you as a kid? Yeah. Cool. So.

I'll go first. Go on. What traumatized you as a kid? When your mom says, this is actually out of control. I don't think this has ever happened to me, but people agreed with it. Okay. When your mom says, okay, go get your shoes, then just leaves without you. That's never happened to me. What? That's worse than a beating. Then leaves without you. Yeah. Okay, cool. You can come. Go get your shoes. Okay, gang. Then goes. That. That is the worst thing I think I've ever heard a parent do. I'm surprised they didn't call child services. Yeah, 100%. Yeah.

I can't get my head around that. Yeah, that's mad. Yeah, I'll be finding a stick to tie a thing to and I'll be out. Rock it. I'll be gone, bro. Damn. God. Just leave with that. Go get your shoes. Then leaves. What a horrible, horrible mum. Yeah. They can't be fucked with anymore. They can't be bothered, bro. They've had a day. They can't be. They've had a day. I just want to go Sainsbury's. That's all I want. I need...

15 minutes to myself. - Yeah bro. - Sit at home. - Yeah, just chill bro. I bought your iPad for a reason, just use it. - Facts, leave me alone. - Oh damn. - What traumatized you as a kid? - The dead goat hanging from my granddad's garage. - Wow, wow. - Mental. - The dead goat? - Yeah. - That's just dinner. - Yeah bro. - Mutton is mutton is mutton. - Salad meat.

It's crazy. Damn. Okay, cool. That was in one of your sides, isn't it? Yeah, it must be. Yeah, it's not going to be in. It's got to be in eating. It's got to be.

That's too funny. That's too funny. Right. What traumatized you as a kid? Yeah. I saw my great grandfather rubbing one out. He was in full nude and wrinkly. It was reddish and brown spotted all over. Oh.

That's trauma. - That is trauma. - That's real life trauma. - Great granddad. - Great granddad. He shouldn't be Robin Knighting. He shouldn't be Robin Knighting. - He wants to get his freak on. - Yeah, bro. - He's still active. - Yeah, he's backed up. - Yeah, he's backed up. - He's backed up, for real. - He's backed up. - Oh, wifey's gone. - Okay. - Yeah. - Okay. Okay. Do you think you'd move on at 85? - No. - You're just gonna charge it? - I don't think, I don't think it'd be moving on. I just think me and said woman be in the same circumstance.

If that makes sense. - Just lonely together. - Yeah, I don't think we'll be moving on. We'll just bond over our loneliness. - Together. - Yeah, but it's not moving on. Do you see what I'm saying? - I actually do understand what you're saying. - It's not moving on. - Oh wow. - 'Cause I'm not trying to elipse you. I'm not trying to get you. I need that companionship and someone that understands what I'm going through. - It's this or stairs. - Bro. - Yeah. - Bro, and I don't want to jump because I can't jump. - Yeah, bro. - 'Cause if I don't die, I can't get back up. Do you see what I'm saying? - Damn.

So yeah, I just need companionship. So I don't think it's moving on. Like if I'm actively moving on a side. That's dark, man. It's very dark. I don't think I would. I think we'll just be lonely together. Yeah. This is peak. That's very peak. Damn. All right. What traumatized you as a kid? This reminds me of something your dad used to do to you. Oh, okay. When my uncle used to say he was removing the poison from my food when he just wanted to take a bite. Oh,

- Yeah, taxes. Taxes peak. - But you said he wanted to tax your boy as well? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, Lewis. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He wanted to tax my boy Lewis. - That's crazy. - With the Vikings. I had to give him 40% instead of 20. - Yeah, that's crazy. - To make up for my boy. - That's crazy. - And Lewis just cracked on. He had no idea what was going on. He had no idea what was going on. - He's like, "Dad, please don't." - Yeah.

- Yeah, safety. It was, I was butters man. But game is the game. It also didn't teach me anything about tax. - Yeah, facts. - It didn't teach me anything about tax. He was just eating my burger. - Would he order himself something as well? - No, never. - Oh, okay. - Because he knew he was eating. - Fair, fair. - Yeah, does the government have a job? No. - Fair, yeah. - It governs and eats. - Fair. - He did teach you something there. - Yeah, he taught you something.

Oh God. Right. Next. What traumatized you as a kid? Saw a nigga getting topped from a crackhead when I was nine. She stopped and said, you better have my $2. Topped from a crackhead is scary. $2? $2 for top...

That reminds me of that video. If you sit in the front, do you want business? The home girl, there's a black thing that knocks on the window. Do you want some business? - I ain't seen that. - It's butters, bro. - It sounds butters. - Yeah, he's like, what's that? She's like, sex. - Oh God. - Do you want business? He's like, no. And she's eating like curry goat. It's all around her mouth. - Oh, road. - Yeah, it's all around her mouth.

And he's like, nah, man. You got curry all around your face. I just said, oh, come on, darling. And then he's like, nah, I don't want any business. She's like, all right, have you got any spare change? And he's like, this is getting ridiculous. UK? Yeah, it was UK. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just some business. What traumatized you as a kid? Other kids. Them motherfuckers would cook you if you couldn't color within the lines. Bro, kids will cook you for anything. Color within the lines, bro. Kids will cook you for literally anything. Bro. Yeah, it's...

Damn. I told you, I think I got cooked for polishing my shoes. I went to school with clean shoes and them man were like, oh, what's this? A little church shoe. A little shoe shiner. A little shoe shiner. These men have got moss growing on their wallabies and I'm the waste man for cleaning. Oh, that's insane. Yeah. Damn. It was tough, bro. Yeah. Herd mentality though is crazy. Herd mentality is nuts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Herd mentality is fucking crazy. Yeah. I remember, bro, I got, I used to go,

I used to get cast out when I got my first pair of Jordans. Because Jordans just weren't in. - Yeah, I remember you saying. - Yeah, they just weren't in. So I rocked up school in Jordans. They were slewing me. "Jordans, bro." - But at the time, I hear it. - Of course. - I'm not gonna like hear it. 'Cause if I don't know Jordans, all I know is like Nike, whatever at the time, or Adidas at the time, or Umbro even at the time. And I see a random thing in my mind that could be Diodora and I'm slewing you.

- Do you see what I'm saying? It might as well be Diodora. - 100% bro. - So you're like, what's Jordans to me? - Yeah. - No one's wearing that. - No one's wearing that bro. - Yeah, you're a loner. - You're a joke man bro. Yeah, I was the only wearer wearing basketball gums. I'd have the jersey over the white tee. I'd have the baggy jeans. I'd be wearing Jordans. I'm thinking, I look so fly. - You check yourself before you leave for school. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 100%. And then what made it worse is that obviously everyone's playing football. I would play football like that.

And this one was like You're pathetic You're a joke man Yeah you're pathetic You're actually a joke man Put on some vapors And shut up Yeah it was embarrassing Oh god Right What traumatised you as a kid? Parents asking you To search up something That starts with the letter P While they're looking Over your shoulder What?

I would break down. I'll break down you man. - Fuck, I just know you're typing in porn. - Yeah. - Did you man used to search for porn by typing in porn? - Probably. - I'm trying to think if I did. - I don't think I was actually brave enough to type sex. - I thought alarms would ring. I thought alarms would ring if I just typed in sex. - Yeah, I wasn't sure bro. - Wow, yeah, I think I just typed in porn. - Yeah.

- I don't think I did. - That's an evil laugh. - That's not sweet. - That's an evil laugh. - Yeah, that's such porn, bro. - The thing is, I remember I was willing to take whatever they'd give me. - You didn't know about that, right? - I didn't have preferences, bro. - Yeah, I was scared to go on the porn sites. So I'd go just Google images. - Images, yeah. - Generic. - And also I thought it was gay if you watch straight porn.

So I used to watch lesbian 'cause I thought if you seen a dick, it was gay. I don't know why, that sounds random and weird. - I can imagine, as a kid though I hear it. - But I thought, oh God, people are gonna be like, "Oh, why are you looking at a dick?" - I used to get angry at myself that I was frustrated at the small ones. Do you know what I mean? - Oh yeah, and if they've got a condom on. - Oh, dick! - Get that! - I don't wanna see your dick! - It's raw or nothing! It's raw or nothing, bro!

- Nah, no Johnnies, bro. - Like say you can feel it. - Like say I'm there. - Like it's VR. - Nah, that's dead. - Oh my God. - Nah, that's crazy. That's crazy, bro. - Yeah, that's the worst thing. - Yeah, he needed Big Wood and no Johnny, bro. Then I'm willing to fap. Do you know how insane that is? That's crazy. Yeah, it's nuts. It's nuts, bro. Damn. - Fuck, that's hilarious. - What traumatized you as a kid?

- Big would have known Johnny. - What traumatized you as a kid? When you hear your mom flogging your brother and you know you're next. - Oh, stop. - That's a fear. - Bro, that was when me and my brother used to fight and then, or he'd do something and it should be like, you know what? Fuck it, both of you down in and out. I'll be like, I didn't do anything. I didn't do anything. He used to relish in it. The smirk he used to have, he used to relish in it.

- Oh, it pissed me off. - Oh, it's jokes. - And you're next. Flogging siblings one at a time is horror. - It's scary. She's just, she's loaded. As much as she's flogging, she's looking at you like, this is gonna be you soon. This is gonna be you soon. - That's too scary. Right, what traumatized you as a kid? Oh God, when they say, let me hold your money for you. - Never got that bitch back. My parents did that to me. There was like a good year that happened. - That's dread. - Yeah. But I was young. I didn't even, I didn't,

I really didn't know. I think it took me after like a few tries, let's say a month of trying for me to understand I'm never getting this money back. - That's harsh. - And then that's when I was like, oh shit. Every time they say, oh, let me hold it for you. Let me put it in your bank account. Nigga, I'm five. I ain't got a bank account. What are you talking about? - Damn, they just spent it. - Yeah, probably. I'm assuming so. - Damn, that actually, to be fair, that never happened to me. - Fair. - My mom and dad never, the only thing my mom took from me, which I've still never forgiven her to this day, is my birthday Maltesers.

I got a family pack of Maltesers for my birthday from my auntie. I was gassed. And she was like, I remember it was a Sunday evening, come back from my dad's, it was late. She was like, Kang, I'm going to put these in the fridge for you. Put them in the fridge for you and you can have them tomorrow. The next day came, I was excited. She backed the whole thing the night before. The whole thing, you man. Backed it. That's rude. Rude, bro. She was like, don't worry, I'll buy you another one. Like, she was so nonchalant about it. I never got it. I never got it. I would have speak to her again. Yeah.

I'm 33. I'm still bothered. I want to speak to her again. I'm still bothered by it. Wow. I was excited for them. Wow. Yeah, it's rough, man. That is rough. What traumatized you as a kid? Your mom pulling up in the driveway and you realize you forgot to take the chicken out of the freezer. Yeah, that's the go-to. That's what a lot of those. That's been me too many times. Really? Especially African household, too many times, bro. You just forget. Yeah, I bet. You just forget because you get back from school around three something.

you should have taken out before you went to school because Marge went to work before you went to school. And you're like, fuck, you're just at home. You're watching Pokemon or whatever's on at the time. You hear a pull up. You're like, you run now says take out then. Why is the chicken not defrosted? I didn't write it down, but one of the tweets was literally that. It was like, when you forget and they come in, they come in and touch the TV and it's hot. They don't even fucking about. The big back TV as well. When it's hot, the back of the TV is hot.

- 'Cause I know they're gonna touch it like that and then they're just gonna raise it. - You just have to say you had to backhand you. - Yeah, they're warming up, they're loading it. - Bro, that was, to be fair, my mom, I don't remember my mom ever asked me to take anything out of the freezer, but ours was our chores, boy. - Okay. - Mopping, hoovering the mop in the floor. And I remember one time seeing my mom's car pull up and I quickly tried mop and I come back and she walks in the living room and she's like, "James, come here."

I walked in and the way the sun was shining, you could see the mop mark. It looked like a signature. - It looked like the man just done a signature thing. - I was like, "Oh, I'll have it." She went off it, man. - Okay, I bet. - Went off it, man. - I bet. - Yeah, it was peak. It was peak, bro. What traumatized you as a kid? - Fiyad's face. - Sorry. - As a kid. - As a child.

Fouad's face Nah bro I saw that I don't wanna say I laughed Cause all the other ones All the others were authentic And then I was scrolling scrolling I saw Fouad's face I bellowed I'm sorry Fouad I had to write it down Alright fair play Yeah Damn I'm sorry G That's a child I met someone a few weeks ago I don't know if you were with me And they were like Oh bro I used to watch your vids when I was younger What? And I was like Damn Younger? Yeah How old are you?

i used to watch your vids when you when i was younger what the yeah it spun me bro that's we've not been doing this that long yeah yeah i hear it but then i was thinking let's say he's 22 and he started watching when he was 17. in your mind that's younger it's like i think it just depends on periods in life very fair change between 17 and 22. yeah that's a gap that is a gap fair play um so this one we have no um what's the word i'm looking for

We have no idea what this feels like. - Okay. - But what traumatized you as a kid? Getting my period at age 11. - I bet. - You man? - I bet. - That would rock my world. - Oh, I bet. - I remember when I used to live in Crystal Palace. I think I went to brush my teeth or something, but my sister was using the toilet at the same time. I think she was just pissing or whatever.

And for some reason, 'cause so for context, sick was here, toilet was here. So I was brushing my teeth facing this way, she's sitting on the toilet facing that way. And for some reason I looked as she like wiped and looked at the tissue. When I say you, man, I saw blood. - Yeah, I bet. - I dropped my toothbrush, I ran and called my mom. I ran downstairs and called my mom. I said, "Mom, my sister's bleeding."

The way this woman kissed the TV just walked past me. - Oh really? - 'Cause she obviously knows what I was like. - Yeah, damn. - I was like, what's happening? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I bet. - What is happening? - I bet bro. - Nonchalant. - Nonchalant. - It's light for them man. - She kissed the TV, get off me and just walked up to us. - Oh God, that would scare me. - Oh my God. - Scare me. - I'd drop my toothbrush. - Yeah, I bet. I think she's dying.

- You don't bleed from that. - Bro. - Bro, I remember, I remember we were at a theme park somewhere and my step sister at the time, I just got her first period and she was rocked, her stomach was hurting.

And I remember we were at the theme park and I was like, let's go, let's go on this ride, let's go on that. She was like, I'm not going on any rides today. I was like, you're not going on any rides today. Why are we here? We're at the theme park. What do you mean you're not going on any rides today? We're not coming back again. Yeah, yeah. And she was like, oh, my stomach's hurting. And I was like, gross. Shit, shut up, man. And then she was like, James, I got my fucking period, all right? When I say I need to jump to my knees, and he jumped to me, I thought I was going to vomit. I was so...

- Yeah. - She was like, my stomach's hurting. I was thinking, wait, does that make sense? Does that make sense? I was thinking, wait, God, her stomach's hurting because she's bleeding. - Bleeding, yeah. - I'm gonna vomit. I was thinking, I'm gonna vomit. Her stomach's killing her because she is producing blood. I'm going to vomit.

- Wow, bro. Boys just really can't conceive the whole thing. - Literally. - They can't conceive it, bro. - Literally we can't, man. - Damn, bro. And our changes don't really mean shit. Like I don't remember my balls dropping. What's that to man? - Yeah, literally. - I don't remember that happening. - You remember that in between bit though, when your voice started changing and you'd have the cracks. - I remember the cracks. I don't remember it massively. - I had a bad phase of it. When my voice was dropping, it'd be like, yeah, yo.

Like that And you're like Like it was bad Oh damn Happened for like a month It was just constantly Dipping and diving There was a kid in my year Called Perry He was bare short At the time bro He came back after one summer Voice was big I can imagine Fally changing Bro it was literally Fally level Yeah I was laughing I was convinced For the whole of year nine He was putting on He was faking it yeah Bro it was crazy Damn Damn boy Adolescence Right I got one more Alright

What traumatized you as a kid? Waking up in the same room with my parents having sex and hearing my dad say, I thought I'd killed you, Sarah. That is wild. They must have been fucking. They were banging. I thought I'd killed you, Sarah. Oh.

- That's disgusting. I thought I'd killed you, Sarah. - Have you ever walked in on your parents when you were young? - No, well, my parents broke up when I was young. I've never walked in, but I've heard stuff and it made me want to die. Yeah, there was one. I'm just gonna tell it.

- When I say, yeah, my mum and my stepdad, my mum and my stepdad, one time we went on a holiday, I think we were in France or something, and we were on a beach, and it was like a caravan holiday. And then we're on a beach one day, and my mum and stepdad were drinking wine on the beach, drinking wine and giggling. I was just happy to be there. Me and my stepsister were there, I think my two brothers were asleep in the caravan.

And then man were like, go, go, go, go back to the caravan. It's bedtime type thing. I was like, I bet I skipped a bit. I was gassed. Half an hour later, these niggas were drunk as fuck stumbling in the caravan. And I was thinking, oh, they're bad loud man, shut up. 10 minutes later, whatever it is. The ting was quaking. I'm gonna say you man. I was up in my butt bed staring at the ceiling.

And I wanted to ask my sister, she was awake. I was like, I can't speak. I can't speak. Wow. It rocked. It rocked my soul. You look at him. I'm different than I could make eye contact. She was just having a time. Bro. Just living, just living, just living, bro. I want to die. That's hilarious. All right. I've got a few more for me. What traumatized you as a kid?

When my sister put three war geckos on my back whilst I was showering. Three? Three is crazy. Three is crazy. How do you not feel one? I was going to say, she must have dashed them all at once. Yes. That's crazier. That is crazier. That's crazier. Damn. Because I'm also not holding three war geckos. Yeah, that's nuts. All right. What traumatized you as a kid? Walking in on my dad trimming my mom's bush with beard trimmers. Wow. That thing must have been...

- Grown. - Fat bitch. - Grown. - Oh my God. - Love is love, innit? - I'll do what I do for you. What traumatized you as a kid? Do what I do for you, innit? What traumatized you as a kid? There was a floating, talking green mug in a Nigerian movie. Till this day, I don't like the color green.

Damn, all right. Last one from me. And this one is our childhood. Okay, go on. What traumatized you as a kid? My sister trapping me in a bathroom after saying Bloody Mary in a mirror.

- That's not funny. - Yeah, 'cause I believe that shit. - Yeah, 100%, that and Candyman. - Woo, bro. - Oh wow, yeah, that. - You're not looking me in the bathroom for that. - That would scare the Christ out of me if I was a kid. - Yeah, 100%. That's terrifying. - That is terrifying. - Wow. - Where did the Bloody Mary thing even come from? - I don't even know. - Can we Google Bloody Mary? - It's just an urban legend, isn't it? - Probably just gonna come with the drink. - The drink, yeah.

Bloody Mary legend involves a ritual performed in a bathroom mirror where chanting Bloody Mary three times is said to summon her apparition. Some versions claim there must be 47 times or in conjunction with flushing the toilet. Oh my God. Here we go. The apparition is often described as a blood covered ghost, witch or demonic spirit and can allegedly attack the summoners. No, no, no, no, no. We don't, we don't play that.

- What the hell? - I don't think I've ever played that. - We don't do that. - What was the other one again? Candyman. - Yeah, Candyman. - Google Candyman. - That's a movie, innit? - I don't think I did Candyman. - You did Candyman? - I don't think I did. - Oh, Candyman. - I did Blue Mary. - I was saying Candyman five times in front of a mirror to summon him. Kill the summoner. That was crazy, bro. - That is crazy. - Candyman. Oh God, that's scary.

- All right guys, welcome back. Obviously if you like the show, please, if you haven't done it already, make sure you're doing it right now. Head over to patreon.com/shitsandgigs. It's gonna cost you three pound a month. - 10p a day, it's S and G. - And then your daddies will take care of you. You're gonna get indoctrinated into a cult essentially. - Literally. - Yeah, you're gonna get indoctrinated into a cult and that might seem scary at first, but once you're in there, it's like swimwear. It's cozy.

if it's just right open arms and you're like wow now i understand why people were willing to drink the kool-aid bro because i trust these man yeah and uh on top of that there's five years worth of content you can binge if you want to tune in every saturday for our log cabin show you will see us doing new and exciting things every week and um yeah by all means check it out now um

I do have a daddy fantasy today. - Let's go. - Nice. - So this is, I'm not gonna lie to you man, open book, no pun intended. The stress of daddy fantasy is getting to me. - 'Cause you're a keyboard, it's like a job for you now. - It's a fun job. - Yeah. - But when I say you man, I get DMs. So many DMs a day. And if we miss a week, 'cause we've had

Basement Yard on or Harry and Darkest on, I get the abuse like say it's my fault. Technically it's my fault, but- - I hear what you're saying. - Yeah, these men want to pause the guest episode for Daddy Fantasy.

- Jesus. - I'm here for it. But if we haven't got, like I said, if we haven't got to a good part of the book and I'm thinking, oh, I don't have much to update, yikes. - Yeah, but- - Game is a game. - I also feel like it's good anticipation for the next week. - Yeah, it's true. - Before you get onto "Daddy Fantasy," obviously, you know I am listening to the Audible version of it at the moment. So I've gone to the part where

I've just gotten past the part, sorry, where Demma tried to break into Violet's room and try and anchor up. - Oh my God. - Yeah. - What a scene. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 'Cause I was hearing it. I was hearing everything. - What a scene. - I was imagining everything. Obviously she got saved and now they went to like some courtyard thing where all the scale, Adana and,

10? 10 are there because Zayden can't figure out as to why or how she throws time. And they're just trying to figure shit out in there. So we've now realized Zayden can't hear Andana, but 10 can hear Zayden. Violet can hear Scale. Yeah. So yeah, that's what I'm up to. Juicy. When he rocked up in there and... Yeah, he just twisted all four of them. Yeah, he wasn't playing. Zayden's a real man. Zayden's a real man. Okay, cool. Right.

but i wait i've got another question i'm confused because i maybe i missed that part i wasn't listening properly

there's two or three times she's referenced she doesn't know how they got into her room because the room was locked. But she said she does know the person that may have done it, but she hasn't. Do they mention the person afterwards? - Yes, they do. - Oh, so she's just saying it, but she hasn't said it yet. - Yeah, there's a... - Okay. - There is... - A twist. - Okay, I'm still thinking, she's mentioned it bare times and Zayden keeps asking her, but she keeps saying to Zayden that.

I know if I tell him who it was, he won't believe me and this, that. Okay, cool, cool, cool, cool. Yes. Cool, cool, cool. I forgot about, I never broke that down in the thing. Woo!

- Okay, cool. I thought I missed something. - Say less, say less. - It's a public accusations. It's a public accusation when it comes out. - Cool, cool, cool. - Wow. You're in for a treat. I'm excited. Tell me when you get there. You're in for a treat. It won't be long. - Say less, say less. - Okay, cool. So Daddy Fantasy. Rem, can you bring up the same images last week, please? - Yes, sir. - Random question about the audio version. Have they had sex yet? Or like, I was gonna say, how's that in audio? - Yeah, they've not had sex yet. - I actually heard that they toned it down a bit,

- It's frustrating. - Oh really? - Yeah. 'Cause everyone, another thing is everyone keeps messaging me saying, "Oh, listen to the- - Audio. - Yeah, like dramatized audio, whatever. And I'm like, and my first thing was, "I bet the sex scenes are insane." And then apparently everyone was like, "Yeah, the only downside is they tone down the sex." I was thinking, "That's all I wanna listen to." - Yeah, fair. - Right, so the bit that I am on right now. So catching up on "Iron Flame,"

I told you now there's a little bit of beef between the main culprits being Major Varish, whose dragon is Solas, and then Viola, whose dragon is Ten, and obviously Adana. And I told you Ten's had beef with Solas before, and he, yeah, knacked that eye, said he should be grateful for the eye I left you. Don't burn what doesn't belong to you. Right, ta-ta-ta-ta. So,

What's happening right now is I've told you that as you know now, Adana's a baby. Yes. And she should never bonded. Yes. And what's happening right now is Adana's going through what they call the dreamless sleep, which is their process of growing from a baby dragon to a grown ass dragon. It takes like two months. So now...

Violet hasn't seen Adana in a while. No one's seen Adana in a while. Major Varys now has come in and said to Violet, I'm trying to see your dragon. Why are you going for this little golden thing? Did they just disappear and try and grow? They disappear. Okay. So one day she sees him, one day she doesn't. Yeah. So Adana, Ten knows where Adana is. All the other dragons know. Oh, I see. And basically, you should know this by now because you've gone through threshing that the dragons have their own council. So as the humans have their own leadership, the dragons have their own leadership and

And Tern's like second in command to the other black dragon. Yes, yes, yes. So all of the dragons have their own, what they called it, I think they called it the Imperium. Okay. And that's their own council and that's their own rules and they live by that. And humans have fuck all to do with that. So they, up until now,

They don't know that Feathertail is what they call Adana. It means baby. And that secret has never been out. And they're not going to let that come out. Because as you know now as well with the time stopping thing, baby dragons have more powerful magic and they can't control it. And it drains them and can kill them and all this kind of shit. So Violet now knows Adana is in the dreamless sleep. Varys since Ten pulled up and stuck it on Solas, Varys now has serious beef with Violet.

Okay. And now he said to Violet one day, cool, we've got maneuver, sky maneuvers to do because they have sky maneuvering lessons. You haven't got there yet, but they're basically flying lessons as part of their curriculum. So Violet's pulled up with 10, they're doing flying lessons. A couple of days later, Major Varish is like, oh, well gone for Adana.

She's not pulling up to flying lessons. Violet's like, oh, obviously she's a baby. She doesn't say she's a baby, but she's smaller. She can't do a lot of the maneuvers. Plus I can't ride her, so there's no point. So Varys is like, cool. Next week, make sure she's there. That's the order. Tern says to Violet, tell this prick, humans don't make orders for dragons. Violet says, Tern says, humans don't make orders for dragons. He said, that's funny.

I didn't make an order for 10. I made an order for you. Make sure your dragon's there next week or else. So Violet's like, say less. Okay. Okay. Next week comes. Violet says to 10, any chance she's awake? Like, well, go on for this. He's like, she ain't going to be awake for a few weeks. So she pulls up to flying lessons. Major Varys, where's your dragon? Oh, she's busy. Told you. She doesn't want to come for the maneuvers. He says, say less. Come with me tomorrow morning.

He takes her up to a mountaintop.

and forces her to shoot lightning until she can't stand. - Oh, damn. - So as you know, if they use their magic too much, it drains them and they can die. When I say Major Varush pushes Violet to the point of this close to death. - Damn. - This close to death. She's on her knees and he's like, again. And then there's another professor there that's like, "Major Varush, I don't think this is good." He's like, "Shut the fuck up again." She's like, "Kah!"

- And this is Adana and Adana. - No, Adana's chilling. - Oh, this is Tens power. - This is Tens power. The lightning is Tens power. You haven't seen that yet. - Yeah, I haven't seen that yet. I haven't seen that yet. - Oh my God. Either the day she unleashes it, it's gonna blow your mind. So she's using Tens power, shooting lightning, shooting lightning, shooting lightning, shooting lightning. Varys is like, again, again, again, again. - Jesus. - Tens there stood in silence.

And he's like, I promise you I'm gonna fucking eat this guy if he keeps burning you out like this. She's like, it's fine, I can do it, I can do it. Bang again, bang again, bang again. She drops to her knees. He says, fucking again. The professor goes, Violet, don't do it. And he says, Major Vash, please don't make her do this. He says-

I'm sorry. Who's the boss? Me or you? He's like, obviously Medra Vash is you. He says, shut the fuck up and make her do it again. He says, one more time for good luck. This may be this time you'll learn to bring your dragon to the fucking thing. She says, fuck it, I can do it. And he says, if you don't try, you're going to be stuck here doing it all day. She shoots. It gets stuck in her hand and it rips through her hand

causes a fucking mountain crash, like a whole like fucking rumble ting breaks down the mountain. She's stuck there like, ah, and it's like attached to the mountain, attached to her hand, ah. Bro, zonks out, Ten quickly grabs her, throws her in the lake 'cause her skin's on fire. And then she has to just sit there like nearly murked. Ten says, if that ever happens again, I'm not having it bro. So everyone's like, wow, Varysh is not playing. Fam, she's murked, Varysh says, next week make sure Adana's there.

It's long. So wait, sorry to cut you off. In situations like that, Tern can't interfere? So basically Tern understands that there are dragon rules and there are human rules. Yeah. So he gets to the point of...

whatever he does to interrupt the hierarchy of humans is going to affect Violet badly. Okay. So he can go on a rampage and do all sorts, but he understands it's going to affect Violet really badly. Okay. So he tries to hold himself back, but he's constantly telling Violet, tell him this or tell him that, or I'm just going to stop it. And it gets to the point of, if he's going to kill you anyway, I might as well just murk him. Fair. Okay. Yeah.

But Violet obviously has to be like, stop, stop, stop. It's okay. I can deal with this. So she heals from that. Varys says, bring Adana next week. I'm not playing with you anymore. She's like, all right, cool.

Next week comes, luckily Zayden's brother is, or his cousin, it's his cousin I think. Zayden's cousin is luckily one of the leadership in third year now. - Okay. - So he's managed to sort out a couple of things. So two weeks go by, they don't have to do maneuvers. He sorted this and that and they don't have to do maneuver class for two weeks. Third week comes in, he's like, I can't do it again. - I can't push it anymore. - I can't push it anymore. We've pushed our luck. They pull up bro.

She walks out onto the field. She sees 10. No Adana. She sees Varys smiling. She sees Varys smiling. So Varys walks up and says, I'm gone. He says, I'm almost pleased to see that your dragon's not here. She says, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. Yeah. He said, I'm almost pleased to see your dragon's not here. I guess you didn't learn from your last punishment. 10 steps up and says, I'm not playing this shit again. Yeah.

So Varys says, bring your fucking dragon here or else. Ten says, I've had enough. You know what? I've literally had enough. Steps up.

and tells Violet and all the dragons that are there. So he can speak to other dragons as well. - Okay. - So he roars at Varys and tells all the dragons there and Violet, you, you fucking prick, do not make rules for dragons. And Adana's gonna come here when Adana wants to come here. He says, you can shut the fuck up 'cause I may not make rules for dragons, but I sure as hell make rules for this fucking bitch. And Senna says, swear!

So obviously Solas is there as well. He pulls up to Solas, knocks him on his neck. Solas is bleeding, bleeding. Get off me, get off me. He roars again, bro. And says, tell this fucking prick, you won't be a rider in a minute. And you won't be making rules for anyone because majors are only allowed to be riders and you're about to be without a fucking dragon. Damn.

Vash says, "Saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw, saw,

Varys is like, I apologize, apologize. He said, now fucking say you will never, ever, ever trying to make a rule for a dragon ever again, you pussy. He says, I'll never, ever make a rule for a dragon again. Now he says, apologize to Violet. And Violet's like, stop, don't do this, Ten. He says, apologize to fucking Violet now. He says, Varys looks at Violet and he says, I'm sorry, innit? He says, get on your fucking knees. He says, get on your fucking knees, you pussyhole. No.

Minja Varys looks at Violet. It's long for Violet. He drops to his knees. He says, I'm sorry. He says, good, you fucking bitch. Let's go. Let's go. Solace flees again. I can imagine. Varys waits until all the dragons leave. He's still on his knees staring at Violet. As soon as everyone's gone, he slowly stands up, watches over his call, walks off. Violet's finished.

- Violets, they end the chapter there. Violets finished. - Yeah, I could imagine. - Yeah, Ten took it way too far. - So with Ten biting Solas, does Varys feel that pain? - He won't feel that pain, but he feels when Solas is screaming all this kind of stuff, he feels it. Yeah, he will feel the agony, yeah. - Okay. - Yeah, yeah. And obviously if he kills Solas, Mandrake will die as well. - Yeah. But I'm assuming because Solas is powerful, Major Varys is an experienced rider or whatever,

- His pain threshold is higher or both of their pain thresholds are higher or does it work like that? - Not necessarily, it doesn't really work like that. The only thing that will be better is that, the only thing that Varus will have on Violet is that he's probably much better at using his magic than Violet. That's all he will have. Solas is nothing to Ten. None of these dragons are anything to Ten. - Okay. - But now that Ten's fucking with stuff,

I don't know how it's going to look because obviously 10 has one boss, which is the general's dragon. He's the only one stronger than 10. I don't know how the chain of command is now going to move now that 10 stepped in and told a fucking major to get on your knees and apologize to Violet. Bro, the whole structure's collapsed. Okay.

- Yeah, it's a get on your fucking knees. - That's long. - Yeah, that's when Violet knew, "He's taking too far." Yeah, he got angry and really took it too far. But that's where I'm at right now. The plot's about to thicken. It's about to thicken, man. - Zayden's graduated, you said? - Zayden's graduated, he's on his outpost. And every now and again, like I said, once a week, she'll fly there or he'll fly here. For the last few weeks,

They can tell that the leadership have been separating them as well. Because secretly the leadership don't want Zayden and Violet together. Because they know together they're too powerful. So they want them separated. They can't do anything about Scale and Ten being together. But as long as Ten and Scale see each other, realistically, in their eyes, Zayden and Violet don't need to be spending any time together. So every time she's gone to his outpost, he's...

they've put him on like 24 hour patrol or they've put him on this. And every time he comes, they've put her on some exhibition training or this or that. So for, they haven't seen each other for time, bro. So it's just a dragon. Just the dragons Lincoln. Yeah. It's tough, but yeah, that's where we're at right now, bro. It's getting juicy. It was a slow start, but just as this has happened now, yeah,

I don't know what's about to go down. - Fair play. - 'Cause Vash is not gonna have it. - Yeah, he can't. - He can't have it. - He can't have that. - He's not gonna have it. So yeah, we'll see what will go on. He might take, I reckon he might even take the risk of trying to kill Violet in the hopes that it kills Ten. 'Cause their bond is obviously together. So Ten might die. So Violet's, yeah, she needs to keep her head on swivel. - She's been keeping her head on swivel though. - Bro, she ain't done nothing. - Yes. - That's the mad thing as well. She's just trying to vibe. - She's just the daughter of a cunt. - Yeah, bro. She's just trying to vibe, bro. And all of this stuff is happening. It's peak.

But very, very, very juicy. Sounds like it, G. Yeah, so that's my daddy fantasy. A bit shorter than usual, but that's my daddy fantasy for this week. And I'm very intrigued. I reckon in the next couple of chapters, we're going to see some stuff. Fair play. You've got a story for us? I do have a random story slash dilemma. I recorded my wife cheating on me and I can't stop watching it. Oh, God.

- Ooh. - Topsy turvy. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Now I'm locked. - Yeah. - Now I'm locked. - A couple of weeks ago, I decided to surprise my wife with a kid free night out. My parents live about an hour and a half away from us and I arranged for the kids to stay with them for the weekend. Usually when I go to my parents, I'm gone until later in the evening.

We spent all day there and leave around dinner time. This time I was dropping off the kids and immediately going back home so I could surprise my wife and we can go out as soon as possible. I had made reservations at a nice restaurant and was hoping to go to a few places for some drinks first. I left at 8:30 and was back in our house planning before 12:30.

Oh my god.

My heart would be on the floor. When I first heard it, I thought she was just by herself, maybe having some personal time. I didn't want to interrupt her privacy or embarrass her. So I was just going to go back in the car and just go in the garage so she would know I was home. Then I heard a man's voice. I immediately felt sick. My heart felt like it was going to explode out of my chest. It's hard to describe how I felt in the moment. I decided to go upstairs. I had no desire to confront them.

I just wanted to see what was going on. I moved slowly and quietly and went up the stairs. - My heart's really beating. I'm not even joking. My heart is literally beating out of my chest as you speak. I'm really locked in. - I moved slowly and quietly and went up the stairs. The door was halfway open. The kitchen was empty, but I could tell they were in the living room. It was obvious what was going on at this point by the sounds.

there was no way for me to look in the living room without me being seen i pulled up my phone and opened the camera i put my phone just around the corner i i could see my wife with a man i didn't recognize i won't go into detail on what they were doing but i think you can figure it out i started recording it i was thinking that i need to record it i need a record of it for whatever i decide to do with it in the future i just stood there in the kitchen watching this all unfold on my phone screen

I felt like I could just scream at any moment, but for some reason I just froze completely. This went on for several minutes. Oh my God. She finally jumped off him and made a comment about going to the bedroom and they went upstairs. She even made a comment about how much time they had left. I walked into the living room and found the guy's pants. I took his wallet out and took pictures of his driver's license. I know his name and his address. I've never met him. I have no idea how he knows my wife either.

I left the house the same way I entered. I went back to my car and cried like the pathetic man I am. I decided to watch the video to make sure I recorded it. I watched it all. I sat in my car for at least half an hour. I couldn't drive to my parents and get my kids as I had to explain why. I decided that I would pull in the driveway, open the garage and just pretend like I was there to surprise her. I took my time getting into the house. I made a lot of noise.

I'm gonna read this bit slowly. Stop.

She took me into the living room. I'm not proud of what I let happen. I could faintly see the guy sneaking downstairs, going into the basement, but I didn't say anything or do anything. I just let my wife continue doing what she was doing to me. Wow! Wow!

He was getting top from his missus and then he saw next man walk out of his yard and he just sat there and... - Just took it. - Oh my God. - Just took it. - Oh my God. - Since that day... - This is really real. - Yeah, since that day, I've watched this video of her repeatedly. I can't bring myself to make any decisions on what I should do next. She seems to know something is wrong with me because she's asked me a few times if I'm okay.

I feel worthless and every time I hit a low point, I watch the video again. - Oh my God. - I feel like I've watched it at least 10 times a day since I've caught them. What should I do? - Question, do you reckon he's fap to it? - Christ. - It's dark. - It's dark. - 10 times a day, you man. - That's insane. - I think he's probably, I think he has, but in like a crying state. - Yeah, like a shameful. - Like a shameful wank, yeah. I think he has.

I don't know. I don't know what it is, but I feel like that's the only way he'd be able to get through it. If that makes sense. I hear it. I hear it. But yeah, that's a dark rigging, man. He said he could see the bread walking down the stairs at a corner of his life, but he couldn't say anything. He couldn't say anything. He just froze and just let my wife do what she was doing to me. He said, I'm not proud of this. He called himself a pathetic little man. He called himself that, bro. Bro. He called himself that.

- I love that. He did. - He did. - He really fucking did. - It's crazy because I can understand the fact that when we talk about scenarios, talk about things that happen, we're like, oh, we'll do this, we'll do that, we'll do this, we'll do that, blah, blah, blah. This is the love of my life. - You don't know what the fuck you're gonna do until you're there, bro. - Bro, this is the love.

He's he premised it by saying every time I take my kids to my mom's, I'm there from the morning. I leave at dinnertime. So every time I've taken my kids, she could have been doing this every single time. 100% questions like where does she meet this brother? Why is there van at Samayon? Why is she like, oh, why are you so home early? Let's pregame. Like she had everything planned out, bro. They were lips and downstairs and said, ha ha, let's go to the bedroom. I ain't got much time left.

Like, what do you do when you see your wife is that calculated? - You cry in the car like he did, bro. - This is what I'm saying, pathetic little man. Like you have to convince yourself that this is it. Like, I don't even know. I wouldn't even know where to go from there. - I wouldn't know what to do. - Because in this scenario specifically, he can't go back home or to his parents and pick up the utes. 'Cause they're gonna ask why. - Yeah, they'll say, "Well, go on." - I can't bring that to my family, bro. I can't. - Jesus.

I don't even know if I'll be able to tell you man straight away. It would rock my world bro. Yeah it would kill me. I wouldn't be able to tell you man. I've got it on my phone. I watch it every day. 10 times a day. Yeah. I'll be sitting in these recordings in silence.

You would have to get comedy from me. - Oh, I don't think I'd come to work for a bit. - Really? - I'll make up an excuse. I don't know what I would say. I couldn't come to work. - It would have to be drastic for you. You've never missed a week. - Yeah, I know. - In five years. - I know. This is drastic. - I know it is. I'm saying, if you're not gonna tell me the truth, I don't know what you're gonna have to tell me. - I know. But I think a song. Work would be the last thing on my mind. It would be the last thing on my mind.

It reminds me of Ozark. Do you remember when he's looking at, when Wendy cheats on him? Literally, like, right, episode one. He keeps rewinding it. I've seen that. Yeah. Damn, man. Damn, you man. I wouldn't know what to do, bro. I wouldn't know what to do. And I can see in that moment when he's watching Homeboy trying to sneak out, he's thinking, it's the path of least resistance. Yeah. Because I could kick up a fuss, Broski could just knock me out. Knock me.

And then I got to argue with him or got to argue with her. Like the safety aspect, who is this braids? You're going to come in here and kill me. Like, I don't know what's going on. - You're not the man of the yard. You're just a man in the yard. - Oh, stop. I'd have to get out there. I'd have to get out there, man. I couldn't do it. - Well, you just confronted a bum. I got the video, bum, drop it and then show us. - Yeah. I don't even know if I'd show the video. I don't know if I'd have the stomach to show the video because like,

My hand will be shaking, giving it to her. And as I'm hearing it, as I'm watching her watch it, I know I will just be a frazzled mess. I don't know if I could bring myself to show her the video. You'd have to though. I don't know if I had. Because she would be wanting proof as to why you're leaving. The thing is as well, I'm also not playing that shit. You know you did it. I know you know. I don't need to prove anything to you. Just get out. Or I'm getting out. I'm not. What's this? Like, I get it.

I get what you're saying. She'd want that, but I don't, we're done. It's not like I'm accusing you, but I want to work it out. And she wants proof because of this. Nah, it's over. You had a man in this yard. And if she wants proof-

Then I could be like, I saw him leave our yard while you were giving me top. I saw him. - And if she decides to double- - I know his name. I've got his fucking details. - That's what I'm saying. You gotta show something is what I'm saying. - I don't think I do have to show a certain note. - She's gonna double down on if she's like a really shitty person and she tries to double down on the gaslighting, then it's just gonna push you more and more towards being like, do you know what? Fuck it here.

Maybe if I'm willing to entertain the argument, but if I'm just like, bro, you're a cheat. You've had a man up in my yard. Hopefully that should be enough. Yeah, that should be enough. If she's like, what are you talking about? Who told you that? I saw it. I saw the van outside the yard. I saw him leave the yard. That should be enough. That should be enough. Yeah, she'll freeze. She's not going to be like, no, you didn't. What the fuck are we talking about? Yeah, like...

- Damn, I really get that as well. What if 10 times a day would break me? But I, damn, this is the thing that stresses me out about like, I've always said that in relationships, I remember you saying one time, the reason you want it to be financially stable was so that you could provide for everyone or you're too scared to have kids in the future because you were scared you won't be able to provide for them and all that kind of stuff. One of my biggest things has always been, I think I said this before,

I fear being in a relationship where I'm with someone and I don't wanna be here and she doesn't wanna be here, but we're locked and it's easier to suffer together than it is

For me to Like break up with her Or like If I break up with her I've got nowhere to go Or she's got nowhere to go And all this kind of stuff So you just tolerate shit Yeah Which I think is actually like Most Marriages Like Realistically If you're If you're paying a mortgage On your yard Yeah

who realistically has enough money to just go rent a new spot and just start again, get a new car, get a new yard and pay child support if you've got kids and all this kind of stuff. No one has that money. So it's like, I reckon most people- - It's not that easy. - Yeah, it's not that easy, bro. Most people will just suffer. So I reckon maybe in this, I don't want to speak out of turn, obviously love is a big factor, but I would fear that in that scenario, finding myself in a position where it's like, all I want to do is show this video and be like, fuck you. But where do I go?

Where do I actually go? - What do I tell my kids? - What do I tell my kids? What do I tell my parents when I'm knocking on their door saying, can I stay with you guys for a few months while I get my shit together? Like what am I doing? What am I doing? Why does my life have to be ruined because this ting is just cheating on me? Yeah, bro. Sticky. That's probably the most locked in I've been on a, I don't know, I'm not proud. I just let her do it while I watched the guy leave my house. That bit hit me. - Bro, that's insane. - Where did you find that? - Twitter, bro.

- Yeah, Twitter. - I couldn't do that. He couldn't be in my blurred vision. And he's just sneaking up. Fuck off. 'Cause I go soft straight away. - She will be tangled. Yeah, it's dental floss now. Yeah, it's dental floss in there. - I don't know how he maintained. - Yeah, I don't get that. - Through shame and panic, bro.

And also she said he was addicted. - Yeah, I was gonna say, but he struggled through it bro. - Were you gonna say Rem, sorry? - Sorry. Before he mentioned the 10 times a day, watching 10 times a day, he said he watches it over and over on his worst days. But then when he said the 10 times a day, that made it sound like that was just the norm. - Oh yeah, 10 is the standard. And on really low days it's 20.

- It's just on repeat. - That's why he's probably fat to it. Yeah, you're right. - I reckon he's fat to it. - He probably has. - I think he has. - I think there's probably too far to put onto it, but I reckon he's fat to it. - And that's when your mental state is in disarray. You can't even unpack that. - You can't even look at yourself in the mirror. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't even bring this up to tell a therapist that. - Yeah, you can't, bro. Fuck. The therapist will be locked. - Oh, this is juicy. - Oh my day. - This is what I went to school for. - Sharon, clear my schedule.

- You need two sessions a day every day. - Yeah, oh. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, she's like, "Start from the beginning. "Start all the way from the beginning." - Should be locked. - Yeah, where did you meet? - That's what I was gonna say. - Yeah, yeah, I'll take my shoes off. I'll take my fucking shoes off. Where did you meet? - My God, I wouldn't even want the money. I just want the story. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, pro bono. - Yeah, I want the story. - Yeah, you're really sick. - You're really sick. - I'm gonna do this free of charge.

You fucking prick. Yeah. Wow. You're sick. Jokes. We really need to get to the crux. Oh my God. Sharon, clear my schedule. Yeah, 100%. We're not leaving this.

That'd be too juicy. - Wow. - I'd have to tell myself a partner. I'd have to. - Facts. I'd break all the rules. - Facts. I couldn't be a therapist, do you man? - Fuck privilege. - I couldn't be a therapist. - Yeah, no. - I love tea. - Same. I'll tell it on this podcast. I would tell people's home truths on this podcast. - Oh my God. - I love tea so much. That's gist. - Oh, that's gist is the one. - That's gist. - Yeah, man.

Fuck it up. Yikes. Yeah, but that's, oh, that's crazy, bro. Yeah. I need to find more stories like that. Yeah, same. I need to find more stories like that. That's a home truth, boy. Yeah, home truth with a home wrecker. So tweets of the week to finish. I've only got a few, but they're, they're home hitters. I'll definitely cry on my wedding day because how can this babe be so foolish? Wow.

- So foolish. - Damn, man. This babe. - That's hilarious. - Breaking. Eric Ten Hag has offered himself to Real Madrid to replace Carlo Ancelotti. Real Madrid immediately alerted the police. - Nah! How does that make you feel? - How does this make me feel? - Yeah. - Obviously it's fake. - Yeah, yeah, obviously it's fake. - I feel no type of way, bro. - Okay, fair. - Literally. When, apart from probably,

- What? - Just a funny tweet. - Apart from maybe Oli Gunnar Solskjaer, I really have no ties with any ex managers. - Okay, fair. - Yeah, because Oli used to play for us, you know, that's the only reason. And during his tenure, I think bar, after Sir Alex, he was the best. No, bar Marino, I think Marino was the best then it was him. So yeah, I have no ties whatsoever. - Okay, fair. - All right, next one. I told my ex, fuck your whole family.

and her mom texted me i've been nothing but nice to you oh see that that would break me that would me up i've been nothing but nice to you uh yeah yeah i take i'm sorry i didn't mean that i didn't mean you but you know what i meant yeah i was saying her by extension and like yeah i wasn't thinking about you when i said imaginary yeah facts i've been nothing but nice to you oh

- I'll block myself. - Yeah, in fact, yeah. - 'Cause I can't see her again. Also, why are you telling your mom? Why are you telling your mom that I said fuck your family? What's wrong with you? - Who does that? - Literally, who does that? I've never argued before. - Whoever broke this bitch's heart owes me a fade. This motherfucker don't believe anything I say.

- She doesn't believe anything I say. - That's too funny. - That's too funny. - Wow, that's actually hilarious. Well played. - In quotes, you probably get all the hoes. God forbid a man has a big heart. - Bro, have you seen these God forbids on TikTok?

- I think someone sent me something on Twitter, I believe. I think it was like a compilation as well. I've read some of them, but I've not seen them all. - Bro. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - So like, it's always the, it's usually the, I hate insecure men.

So yeah, I hate insecure men. There's a war. I was one. I saw yesterday was a chick at magic Mike. Okay. She's like, I hate insecure men. God forbid. I tried to support my local theater. Local. There was a brain in front of her. That's hilarious. I hate insecure. My other one, like, or they'll be on like, whiz Khalifa's yacht or some shit. And then God forbid, I try and get a suntan.

- Bro, it's bullshit. It pisses me off. It's so funny. - Local theater is a bar. - Yeah, damn. - All right, last one for me. This is a picture of Future and his mother on a yacht. Quote tweet, "I keep forgetting this nigga has a mum and wasn't raised by wolves." - That's too funny. That's too funny, bro. Wow. - Raised by wolves. - Yeah, damn.

- That's jokes. That was a nice finish, man. I really enjoyed this episode. It was kind of different. - Same, same, same. - That story changed the game. - Good episode. Yeah, I'm gonna try and find more stories like that. - Okay, cool. - So I'ma lock in. - Right guys, we're gonna leave it there. As always, for more fun times, head over to patreon.com/isnthegigs. And yeah, love of love. - Gang, gang, gang.

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