YOU KNOW YOU'RE OLD WHEN...
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I haven't been drinking enough water today. That's me all the time. I drink more water. Is it two litres minimum? Minimum, bro. I'm not hitting that. That's a lot. I reckon I do a litre a day, I'm not going to lie. A litre of water a day? Yeah, I'm not going to lie. Maybe a litre and a half. Let's get, let's, we're already rolling, right? So yeah, accountability. Yeah, accountability. Let's get your water up. Let's get it up. Because your skin will pop. Yeah, I need like the pampered thing you guys had.

The facial? Yeah, I need like a day of that. A day? Yeah, a whole fucking day. My face is fucked. Like, I need everything done. I'm saying... I'm going to get it sorted. Because obviously you're chatting to two skincare pros now. Exactly. We've had our ups and our downs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And man's an ups and downs. He...

- I'm playing, I'm joking, I'm joking. - To be fair, my downs were down then. - Your downs were down, but your ups are way up on my divine. Your skin's gorgeous. - Thank you, sir. - Your skin's gorgeous. - Thank you. - And yeah, bro. Yeah, we've had our trials and tribulations. And I would say, let's get you in a nice facial.

Let's extract what we can extract. - Yeah. - And then from there, guzzle water, bro. And I'm saying a basic treatment routine. Like I'm saying, we just start with cream. Do you cream your face? - Yeah, so for Christmas, I got bought a,

- A cleanser, facial cleanser in the shower. - Okay, perfect. - And then after, a little moisturizer as well. I've got very sensitive skin though. So I have to work around that. - What I would say though, we've played clips, I believe on tour or like, I've seen old clips of us and I've seen like how you look now compared to how you looked when you first joined us. Your skin is a lot better.

It is a little bad. Yeah, to be fair. I actually think what helps it though is my, I know it sounds weird. I think it helps that my hair is shorter though.

Because before I had a fringe And you get Stuff from your hair And your face And all that shit You know what I mean So I think that might have Helped a little bit But yeah it has It has got a bit better Sun makes a massive difference It does In Australia my skin Was bussing Apart from that Fucking spot I had My skin was bussing I never told you I'm going to tell you now Since we're talking about it There was Do you remember the dinner We went to Yeah

I must flatter in his eyes. Remember the dinner we went to in Perth where we met the team, the whole team. Yes. I can't remember their name. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Yeah, yeah. And they gave us, was it lamb rib starter? Unbelievable. Yes, it was. Yeah, unbelievable. Restaurant meal, mid as fuck.

boxed out yeah the lamb ribs star Wow fuck anyway back to the point sorry so we were sitting across from each other like we are now and we had two people in front of us but I remember we were talking about something and I looked at you I was thinking damn this niggas skin looks amazing really yeah I never said it I don't know why I didn't say it but yeah bro that day I remember looking at your skin thinking fuck your skin looks good again with this yeah seriously sit on my mother's life

Because I remember, we remembered that day specifically. - Thank you, G. - Wow, I appreciate it. - Your skin looked amazing that day. - I really appreciate it. And I'm livid as well because that spot I had, which has fucked up my whole bag as well 'cause it's left a scar. Like it's fully left a scar, which was fake. - I grew a spot here, but it's gone down. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - But it was boiling point. It was at boiling point last week, but it's gone down. - Bro, it's pissing me off. And the whole reason was is that

I actually fell off my skincare game during early stages or like mid stages of Australia. - Oh really? - I fell off of it. Not even, not my game, but like my routine in terms of using this, this and this every day. I wasn't doing it. And also key point, I wasn't cleansing in between. So I would be layering and some days I'll be layering double toner, bro. - Yeah.

I got milk in my pores and I'm getting in the shower but I'm not cleansing my face. And then we'd have a show. So I get out of the shower, do my skincare routine again. So my shit was just gloopy. So then that's how that spot happened. And then God damn it, it ruined my week. But for the rest of the time,

The sun made my skin really, really nice. So I reckon summertime. So let's get you booked in a facial. Yeah, man. Let's get you some. You're already with a cleanser and a moisturizer. Cleanser, moisturizer. I need something for. I've used everything. Right. I need something for blackheads. I've used a strip. They do nothing. Extraction, bro.

- Extraction. - Fair. - Facial, get it all out, 'cause all you can do is get it out. You need to get it out, but what you need to do is afterwards, what ends up happening is they refill if your pores are just left open. So you need to, they're gonna heat it up, which is gonna open your pores, they're gonna squeeze them all out, and then we need to get some cold shit on there and close them down, but then also we treat the skin to close your pores.

Fair. Are you allergic to anything for your face? Yeah, you said you've got sensitive skin. I know I've got sensitive skin because I've used products before and I've like, it's like inflamed. Yeah. It's like puffed up and shit. Fair play. So I don't know what it is. Puffed up's not. Yeah, I know. My cheeks have like puffed up and stuff. Oh, shit. So certain things. But yeah, your skin's not terrible, bro. I reckon, yeah. It's got a little bit of work and then the sun's gonna. Yeah. Hmm.

Turn it up. You don't burn really do you tan? Nah I do tan yeah. I do tan yeah. To be fair. Amazing. There we go. Problem solved. Let's book you in a facial. Let's book you in a facial bro. I'm not fucking around. Let's do it. Cool. Right.

So guys, welcome back. Welcome back indeed. We are going to go straight into the question of the week, which was a very fun one. Yeah, man. Thanks to the babies, man. I told you, if you guys are dropping me good questions, you get a shout in the fucking Instagram DMs. And yeah, man, we'll get you popping. So this question of the week was, you know, you're old when dot dot dot. Right. I'm a start. Yes, please. You know, you're old when you sneeze and your back locks up.

brother you man before we continue yeah daddy needs an mri because my central my centrifuge in the mid-back yeah bro i was cooking one day chopping onions and i sneezed and my shit locked up when i when i say i had to because my mom was around my yard i didn't want her to see i had to she won't stop yeah i had to support my weight on my on my countertop

because I was thinking my legs are gone. - Damn. - My spine did start. And ever since then, I wake up in the morning and I always try and get some like flexion in my spine. It's always one central spot in my back where I'm like, I've not injured it. It's just over like years. I don't know if it's like a posture situation or like whatever, but I think I told you a while ago, I was struggling because I was doing front squats and then too heavy. It felt like my spine was compressing. - Yeah. - I feel like I've got like a lack of like,

Like my discs have like a lack of like fucking cartilage or whatever the fuck. And it's not much cushion because bro, it's a daily thing now. So yeah, anyway, I'm old. Long story short. Yeah. I hear that. Damn right. You know, you're old when you're,

When you start racing home to make it, when you start racing to make it home before dusk because teenagers are about to spawn. - Sport is crazy. - Bro. - Fair. - Teens? - Yeah. - Hands up? I try and play like I'm not scared of teenagers.

I try and play like I ain't scared of teenagers. - When it's like 17 of them on one side of the road. - Oh, bro. - Here we go. - 'Cause them man love to ramp. - Yeah, for no reason. - 'Cause I remember what it was like being 17. You just like to fuck with people. You just like to fuck with people. - 'Cause you're bored. - 'Cause you're bored, bro. And you wanna show up in front of your boys. So every time I see a group of ruffians, I'm like, nah, man, not today. - Not today. - Not today, bro. I was literally,

When I went to the Sidemen match the other week, group of teens, bro. - And them niggas is tall these days. - Huh, huh, huh. Do you think? They're tall, bro. All of these men were like six, four, like 13 years old. - Yeah, it doesn't make sense. - Bro, I was walking around in my business. I didn't even tell you. The most humiliating thing. Imagine I'm walking to the toilet now and I walk past these group of teenagers and one brer goes, "Oh, it's fucking," and bear in mind, I'm by myself.

He goes, "Oh, it's fucking, fucking." And I was like, "Here we go." Fuad and the other dickhead. - No fucking way. - Ha, brother. - No fucking way. - And he didn't even mean dickhead like he's a dickhead. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Just he's irrelevant. - Yeah. - It's fucking Fuad and the other dickhead. And I was thinking, here's, overthinking. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Here's how many levels of irrelevant I am in this guy's mind. Because.

I have the baitest name in the English language. - Yeah. - The fact that you're remembering Foo Hat and pronouncing it correctly and not remembering me means stage one irrelevant. Irrelevant. If you ask my boy, you're just a guy. I can't even remember your name. - Yeah. - Second thing, the other dickhead meaning,

I'm not even gonna try and remember his name. Not even Fuhad and his boy or not even Fuhad and gigs. Like not even anything. The other dickhead. And he said it loud enough that thinking, oh, he might've heard that. - Oh my God. - Bro, when I say I was so rocked, I walked to the toilet and washed my hands first. - 'Cause you weren't concentrating. - I was so rocked, I walked into the toilet and washed my hands first. - Damn. - Yeah.

Damn! I was staring at myself in the mirror and I said "the other dickhead" Jesus Yeah the game is really... Yeah it's not all glitz and glamour Yeah it really is Guns N' Roses It's really Guns N' Roses Damn Bro it rocked me! Damn Alright, this one's sweeter to me You know you're old when you start scrolling to find your year of birth Bruh

this fucking rolodex of years that hits me yeah that hits me 1991 that's a that's a scroll that's a minute yeah that is a minute we went to uni 15 years ago brother i would say i was on tiktok the other day and it said like ages like there's this part uh this two couple was like our born in fucking whatever it was like i think it was like

Born in '03, no, born in like '93 and born in '03. And I saw the born in '03, the chick was the born in '03 and they were like lips and stuff. And I was thinking, yo, that's a child. That's a child. And then I was like, oh, that's a 20. - She's 22. - She's 22. - Yeah, but you think '03 thinking of the chick. - You think it's damn bro. - You're a youth, relax. - You're a child bro, stop. 22 years of age, grown as fuck. - Damn, '03. - Yeah, yeah, yeah bro.

- Yeah, we're old, bro. - '03, I was in year eight. - Damn, that's horrible. When were you born, Ellis? - 2001. - Son of a bitch, bro. - And you were two in '03. - Yeah. - Were you in uni then? No, you weren't in uni. - No, chill. - 2001? - Sorry, sorry, I'm shit at maths. - I was in year six. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Relax. - We were in uni 2009.

- 2009 you were in uni. - Your face is crazy. - Realization is like, oh wow. - Yeah. - What would I be like year three? Something like that. - Oh, that's insane. - Yeah bro. - Year three. - The simultaneous look of realization. - Year three is like alphabet. - Yeah, brother. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You're learning literal baby. - That's shit. - Stage one. - I'm learning times tables and you're getting a degree.

Stop. And here we are. Yeah. Same, same, but different. Oh my God. We've aged, bro. Damn. This is a true, true question of the week. It is. It really is. Okay, cool. You know you're old when you need to lay down for a minute after being up for too long. You don't even be sleepy. You just need to rest your nerves. Brother, I told you, um...

Last week or so, I got some new UGG house slippers because I've been wearing, I think some Adidas ones, but they're very, very thick. There's no cushion whatsoever. They're called UGG mules. That's what I've got. The most granddad slippers you'll ever see, but the comfiest jawns you'll ever wear. And it's like, I don't know where I've been going wrong for so long. Why I didn't even think about this in the first place because I've,

My back has been... Every time I stand up for like an hour and a bit because I'm cooking or this or that, my back is seizing as we speak. That's horrible, man. So yeah, I had to invest in some of these bad boys and it's helped. It's helped for sure. Fuck's sake. Yeah, man, it's long. What are we doing, gents? It's long. But even still, after like a...

on the weekend I did admin so obviously came back from Mexico there was no food in the yard had to do food shopping had to cook had to like do all my laundry and all those things I didn't do all in one day but I split it up I'm like when I'm done when I've done like a good three hour admin stint and that sofa in the kitchen I just lay there bro yeah bro I just lay there I have peace I have to forbid myself from sitting down when I'm trying to do chores yeah yeah I have to forbid myself from sitting down because the

The ease. The ease it gives my joints. It's crazy. Bro. It's fucking crazy. I can't get back up. It's actually crazy. Fuck, you just need to rest your nerves. That's hilarious, but true. All right. You know you're old when you brag about how much sleep you got last night. There was a TikTok I saw the other day. Yeah. Hilarious. These men were talking about sleep like it's heroin.

- That's jokes. - A man said like, "What's the most you've ever done in one day?" And he's like, "Oh, I've done like a nine-er." And he's like, "Hours?" He's like, "Nine o'clock." And he's like, "Damn!" - Yeah, that's early. - And he's like, "Are you napping?" And I'm like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah." He's like, "Sofa or bed?" And the other man said, "Bed, blind shot, white noise."

I was like, damn, that's a nap. - Yeah, that's a good TikTok. - Yeah, bro, it was fucking, I'll send it to you. It was too funny, bro. - Yeah, fair, fair. - Bro, you man can't let me nap in, I can't nap in my bed. - I napped in Mexico. - You really? - I bet you, oh, I bet you did. - I was waking up and it was sunset. - Yeah, I remember, okay, that's scary. - What did I say, I was gone, you man? The first night.

It took a second to laugh when you just said I was waking up at sunset. The first night, I napped on the outdoor bed. And the natural breeze. I was gone for three. You man, I was gone for three. Gone for three outside is scary. It makes me think anything can happen. Anything can happen. Wow. I was gone for three. Natural breeze. Natural breeze. Oh, where did that happen to me one time? I was on holiday somewhere. This was years ago.

Gone on a Sound Mounder. Gone for hours.

I was woke up, it was nighttime, the pool was closed. Oh my God. No one woke you? Yeah, no one woke me. They just left me there asleep. That's insane. Yeah, it was horrible, but fuck, I slept. Bro, a nap? Oh, with natural breezes. Yeah, it's the best view. Creme de la creme. It is, bro. Oh my God. Right. This one sweeted me. You know you're old when you have to turn down the music in your car to look for the address. Yeah, I've been doing that.

I've been doing that. I can't concentrate. Yeah, there's too much happening. I need to know where I'm going. I need to know where I'm going. Oh, it's fucking jarring. I remember one time when my auntie, when I was a kid, my auntie had just passed her driver's license and she picked me and my brother up from school. Driving test. Driving test, sorry. She just got her license, sorry. And she picked my own brother up from school. She was nervous and she was like,

I don't want to hear you man speaking. And I was like, her name was Rose. I was like, honey, Rose, like why? What's that got to do with anything? And she was like, you man, I'm nervous about driving. I don't want to hear speech. And I remember thinking, what the fuck has that got to do with anything? Concentrate on what you need to concentrate on. But she went rampant. And now I get it, bro. I get overstimulated with too much voice. If I have a music on and a conversation, you might seem to be bugged out. It's one or the fucking other. Yeah, I hear it. You might seem bugged out. I hear it, I hear it. Fuck. All right. You know you're old.

when you take longer to bring it to the top during the Cha Cha slide. - Wow. I'm not making it that far. - Yeah, bro. - Damn. - How low can you go? Blah, blah, blah. Then bring it up. - Then you bring it to the top. - 'Cause he says it's slow. You have to go up. Do you know the Cha Cha slide, Ellis? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Diggity. - They're like school discos and that. I used to play. - Fair, fair. - Yeah, yeah. - That was a test. - Fair. - Yeah. - Yeah, bro. I was gonna say, I know I'm old when,

Like, Ellis consistently reminds me of old, but I feel like I'm talking to more and more people when I'm like, "Oh, you can just be like doing anything and you'd be like, 'Oh, bro, come like Bobby Valentino.'" And they'd be like, "Who?" You don't know who Bobby Valentino is, do you? ♪ Slow down ♪ ♪ I just wanna get to know you ♪ ♪ But don't turn around ♪ Bro, you know, these youngers don't even know who Chingy is.

Did you know that? - I didn't know that. - They don't know who Ching-a-ling is. - Right there. - Right there. - I know that one, right there. Yeah, yeah, I know that one. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Right there. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know that one. ♪ I love it when you do the right there, right there ♪ Come on, man. - Damn, okay, cool. You know who Omarion is, right? - Say it again. - Omarion. - Omarion. - Omarion. - Omarion, no. - Oh, oh. - I started with an A. - That's how I know you don't know who it is.

You know who Omarion is, is. I got this icebox where my heart used to be. Got this icebox. Oh, my God. I actually don't. When I see your body, it go bum, bum, bum. Damn. Damn, bro. No. Baby, I want you to be my entourage. Superfly chick. What a tune. That's a fucking banger. That's a tune. I might slap that on the way to the gym. Oh, touch. Ding, ding, ding. Touch. You don't know more.

- What's happening to this generation? - Yeah, what literally is happening here, bro? - I said to you that he's getting cooked right now 'cause of his titty. - Oh yeah. - He's getting cooked 'cause of his titty. - Side-boost. - Yeah, he got carried. He's 40. Yeah, he got carried away on stage and I've been there. - Damn. - I've been there. - Haven't we just? - Yeah. - Yeah. - He was like, this is what they're trying to see, drapes off his vest.

Damn. He looks chill, bro. He looks good for a 40-year-old. I don't know what you men are talking about. I like him. That rocked me. I don't know what you men are talking about. I like him. That's jokes. You don't know who this guy is? Nah. He looks good for 40, though. He looks really good. Well, nah, I don't know who he is. For fuck's sake, man. Bro, he was Chris Brown before Chris Brown was Chris Brown. Mmm.

- Hmm. - Right, okay. - You see, you must not have no idea who B2K is. - I said B2K. - At least you, yeah. - Songs. - So Amari was in a group called B2K. - Oh, I see. - I got everything I need in my life except a girlfriend. - Come on, man. - How she done? - Do you know Jermaine Dupri?

Jermaine. So, so, death. Y'all know what it is. Y'all know what it is. If you ever heard something, go, y'all know what it is. Yeah, I think so. Oh, for God's sake. Oh, this is memory-laid, man. I don't know. Damn, you're a youngin', bro. Yeah. You're a real youngin', bro. Yeah, I actually don't know. Damn, man. Yeah, fuck. It is what it is. 52. Damn, we are old, bro.

Getting on. Yeah, getting on. I'm savouring this moment where you're a year older than me right now. I know you are. Yeah, yeah. I'm 34, you man. I heard you say it to someone the other day. I can't remember who it was and I was so gassed to say 33. I said it for the first time. I can't remember. I think it was maybe I was signing up for something or I had to fill in my age for something and I said it for the first time. I was like, I want you to be sick. It's basically 40. Basically? Yeah, it's basically 40. Because I'm 35 soon. Yikes. One of my boys, I went out with my boys the other day.

And one of my boys, his birthday is like early September. He's like the oldest in our year. Okay, okay. So he was like, he said the other day, I'm nearly 35. I said, what? I took my breath away. What? I'm still 33. I'm still 33. Unc? Bro. Fuck. Yeah, damn. Yeah, it's nuts. Anyway, you know you're old when you say thank you Jesus after sitting down. Oh.

That's me so often Thank you Jesus Bro You know you're old You know you're old When you get upset When they switch the stuff around In the supermarket Yeah

- I have been there. - Bro. - Wow. - In the Waitrose, they always leave the Spanish chorizo on the end of the aisle. End of the deli aisle. They moved it the other day, I was switching. - It's like, what are you doing? - Yeah, because I don't know if I'm lost or not. That's where the frustration comes from. - I've got a routine. - Yeah, I don't know if I'm lost. I could be the wrong Waitrose. - Oh my God, imagine. - God only knows.

- Fuck man. - I hate it when they do that. I hate it when they do that. - Bro, this one. You know you're old when your knees make more noise than your phone. - Damn. - That's me and my toes, my ankles and my knees. I can't, bro. - You can't differentiate. - Yeah, I can't sneak for shit. - Oh my God. - If I was on a break and entering thing, they will clock me from jump.

My toes click on the floor. Really? Bro, if I get out of bed in the morning, God forbid I was like clappeting and trying to sneak out. She's hearing everything. Yeah, she'd think someone's playing the xylophone. Bro, it's disgusting. Damn, bro. My whole shit just cracks. Mine does, but not like getting out of bed. My toes don't crack getting out of bed. Bro, to be fair, it's because cracking is like...

a gateway drug. So even when, I remember when I was a youth in primary school and one of my boys first started like cracking his knuckles. And I was like, that's too dope. And then we slowly and surely tried to figure out every bone you could crack. And ever since then, I've just been a cracky dickhead. - Same. I remember my family friend, this was when I was probably sitting in primary school and I saw him for the first time crack his neck. - I remember seeing the first time you cracked your neck. - And I was like,

- Damn! I was more so thinking, damn, that sounded satisfying. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And need to learn how to do it. And ever since then, I cracked my neck like probably six times a day. - You're the first person I've ever met crack their neck. That's not in the movie.

Because that's what they do before a fight, innit? Oh. Oh, not death. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what they'll do before a fight. Yeah, it sounded amazing. They'll crack in the neck. And I used to think, damn, that's crazy. And then you were the first person I actually saw do it. I was like, shit, bro. Yeah, satisfying. It's scary to me. You don't crack yours? No. Mine's never cracked. I just feel loose now. All right, fair. You know you're old when you get an air fryer for your birthday and you're absolutely buzzing. Yeah, man. That was...

I think the day I purchased the Air Fryer, it felt like I got a PS5. Do you know what I mean? - Same.

- Because it's like, my world is about to change. - Yeah, bro. - I'm cooking stuff going forward. - Yeah, bro. I remember when we did the desserts episode at your house, log cabin, patreon.com/shitsandgigs, three pound a month. - Come on, 10p a day, to SNG. - We're talking about your air fryer. I think we talked about your air fryer for a solid half an hour. - Really? - Yeah, yeah. Me and Lawrence were talking about it. - Fair play. - Yeah, I ordered it then and there and I couldn't wait for it to arrive.

I could not wait for it to arrive. - That's hilarious. - The only thing that jars me about is I keep forgetting to clean that bitch. - Yeah. - And then when I want to use it again, I'll open it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - The chicken's ready now. I'm ready to put it in now, bro. It pisses me off. It's a breeze to clean. - It is. - But it's jarring that I keep doing that. - It is, it is. - It pisses me off. Right, you're up. - You know you're old when your mom starts telling you stories about the family problems.

- Wow, you've earned the right. - Yeah! - You're old enough. - Damn. - Sit down, let me talk to you about your father. - When it's your dad, that's when you know you're fully grown. 'Cause aunties and uncles are one thing. - She needs someone to consult. - Bro, when your mom starts speaking to you on the level, you're like, what the fuck? - A glass of wine in hand? - Yeah, I remember.

- I remember my mom telling me about one of her boyfriends one time. I was thinking, what are you doing? - What are you doing? I'm your son. - Yeah, I'm a child. I was literally 26 years of old, years of old, years of age. Bro, I was literally 26. And she was like, oh, this is that. And I was thinking, yo, bro, I'm a you. What are you doing? She was trying to man on the level 'cause I'm a grown up man. And I'm still living in her fucking house. - Oh my God. That's hilarious. - Oh God. - That is hilarious. - Right. Let me tell you about your father.

- Nah, nah. Right, last one for me. You know you're old when your 12 year old son gives you a hug but starts to pick you up and doesn't struggle. - Oh my God. - Doesn't struggle. - Oh my God. - I think I'm malnourished. - Yeah. - 'Cause I'm waiting. - Yeah, I'll force him to put me down. - Yeah, there's no way. My son's like, "Dad, ah." And I'm just, "Flips, you're just, ah."

I'll be so livid. Oh, my God. All right. A couple more from me. You know you're old when you start paying for your parents' debt. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Damn. Yeah, man. Yeah, man. Yeah, man. Yeah, man. Yeah, man. You know you're old when you start randomly looking out the window. Brother, when did I start people watching for real, for real? There was a time when I got my...

Like I got my fill of tea from pre-ing out the window. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was 20 years old. Okay. And it started starting in me. Okay. Where, I don't know if I ever told you this. I must have told you at the time because it was too juicy gossip. Okay. When I was with my ex and she was living in Luton and she'd moved into this bastard fucking apartment. Okay. Somewhere in Luton. And we called, we got a chicken shop closed down.

- Okay. - Because it was peak summer, like peak July. And then we were just chilling and we peered out the window and we could see the back of the chicken shop and they had raw chicken outside sitting there. And when I say there were birds, bugs and cats picking at this shit, they're just crates of chicken open top just sitting there in the sun. - Oh my God. - And I would periodically see the people come out, grab the chicken and go cook it.

Oh my god. So we were on the phone. Yeah. Who did you call? I think the council. Yeah.

That's all I knew. That's all I knew. I think we called the council. They shut that bitch down that day. Damn. And I was like, that was so juicy. Ever since then. You'll see me. If there's any noise outside, you'll see me. What's going on? Yeah, I love it. Damn, that's hilarious. Yeah, that's how swollen people fap it as well. Fair. Yeah. Fair. You locked off a business. Yeah, I know. But it shouldn't have been open. Agreed. Yeah, agreed. But it was satisfying. That's the first time I've ever snitched.

That's the first time I've ever snitched, seen the consequence and got away with it. And got away with it. Until now, obviously. I just publicized it. It was me. - Damn. All right, couple more. You know you're old when you watch kids play and immediately say, "They're gonna sleep good tonight." "They're gonna sleep good tonight." 'Cause they've been active.

- Wow. - Bro, I told myself the other day, I was so tired the other day, right? And then I streamed and I shouldn't have been streaming, I was fucked. But then afterwards I had this burst of energy and I sprinted upstairs, got in the shower, felt fresh, jumped to my bed and was like, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. And I told myself, James, you're over tired.

bro you're over tired relax and i was just like i've still got too much energy when i said seven minutes later yeah you might i was spread out i was gone like a toddler like a toddler in a car i was gone toddlers in the cars are spread bro dummy hanging out about they're murked

Bro, they're so murked. They sleep so good anywhere. No one sleeps better than a toddler in a car. Yeah, that's hilarious. Bro, and they wake up. They always wake up just in time. I remember when I was like you in my car, for some reason, I could always like my dad, I could always hear when my dad was driving into his road. It doesn't make sense. Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. I would always wake up just like, just hear the...

- Yeah, we're home, you just knew. - Yeah. - You just knew. - I was like, "Oh fuck, man." - You sport a sweet sleep. - Yeah, I sport a sweet sleep. I love sleep more than anything you, man. - Same. - Have you, man, looked into this Sleep Eight thing? - Yes, Koji was telling me about it last week when he was here, and obviously he sent me a link. - He's got one? - He's got one.

Yeah. Raving or no? Yeah, he said it was good. That's why he recommended it to me. And since I clicked that link, it's been on my Instagram. Oh, bro, it's been on my Instagram. And I went down a rabbit hole the other day where they just keep advertising it to me. And I keep sawing randomly Jack Joseph likes all their posts. And I was like, damn, bro, maybe Jack Joseph got one. Jack Joseph got one. And why the fuck don't I have one? Not to say I was thinking, but he's on it, bro. Yeah. And he stays energetic. I didn't know Koji had one. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, because it does heating and cooling, right? Yeah, on both sides. Oh, my God. Either side, right? Yeah, cooling will get me to sleep. That will pat me. That will pat me differently. Cooled mattress? Yeah, that will pat me differently. Oh, my God, you man. You'll give me goosebumps. The Snuggies? Yeah. And it raises when you snore, right? Yeah, I just saw the price. Oh, yeah, it's not cheap. Yeah, I'm not surprised. It's not cheap. I'm not surprised. What is it for? I want one, bro.

That looks amazing. I've never heard of these. Yeah, bro. I keep hearing about it. I recently got a gel pillow. You put it in the fridge. It sounds weird, but you take it out of the cover, put it in the fridge, and then take it out when you're ready to go to sleep. Put the case over, and then it just stays cold all night because the gel just holds it. Interesting. It's bang. Very interesting. Yeah, it's good.

I've started using that. So I always been on the cold side of the pillow. It's really good. - Nice. - Yeah, it is good. - 'Cause I need my cooling and I don't like artificial fan cooling. Sometimes it pisses me off. So I open my windows, but then it's too cold. - Yeah, it's just literally something like that. Just wipe that bit in your fridge. - Say less. - I'm always on the hunt for the world's best pillow, you know?

I was, so again, Instagram recommended me shit. There is this pillow where it's manufactured where the ear, there's a dent in the ear piece. There's like arms on the side or dense grooves in the side where you can put your arms. I don't know what the pillow is called. That one, that one there. Same thing. Yeah, it's that one. That's one I've been advertised. That looks crazy. That looks too...

- There's too many like entry points. - Yeah, it also feels like they're telling me what to do. I like to smush my shit. - Yeah, but apparently this is good, especially good for your spine as well. - That's what I need. - Yeah, that's definitely what I need. - Okay, cool. - But I don't know what it's called. - All right. - Spooning pillows. - Yeah, I want to get one of these. It goes underneath. So you get a fucking dead arm. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Interesting. - Yeah, I'm gonna step my pillow game up. - I need to see my pillow. I like putting one in between my legs.

- Oh bro, satisfaction. You catch me with either duvet or pillow in between my leg, you're looking at sleeping giant. - Yeah, valid. - Wow. - Anyway, welcome to the show guys. - That's enough old man chat. Yeah, welcome back in guys. Thank you for being here with us. As we said before, patreon.com/shitsandgigs is where the party at. - It is. - So here's what happens on Patreon.

You go over there and you're gonna see best part of five years worth of content. - Damn. - Yeah. - Damn. - That's about five years worth of content that we've been putting out every Thursday for years and years and years. When you do shit publicly, sometimes the platforms will be like, "That's a bit."

Adult themed. That word's a bit sussy. You can't say that or we'll take your video down. So on a Patreon, you can say what the fuck you want. So go on over to Patreon, enjoy those episodes over there. Like we said, it's three pound a month. And if you really, really, really enjoy our content guys, for over a year now, we did that one year the other day, right? For Lock Cabin. Yeah, we've been for over a year now, we've been doing Lock Cabin episodes, which is

A different type of content. So if you've ever thought, oh, I love Jason Fierd on the podcast, but I want to see them do some extra shit. Watch that every Saturday and enjoy. Okay, babies, right. I have a new segment for you. Talk to me. So this has been in the works for a long time. Imagine Megan has been begging us to do something like this for the longest time. So we're doing it now and we have a continuous segment that's going to appear in the show regularly now. So,

Daddy has started reading fantasy books. - Okay, okay. Yeah, you've already gassed like 75% of our audience. - Yeah. - They're locked in now. - Daddy's been reading fantasy books. - Okay. - It's dragons, fairies and fucking. - Say less. - That's all it is. - Say less. - And I'm not gonna lie to you, man. Locked in. I was doing it for hee hee ha ha's at first, of course. I'm locked in. - Yeah? - I'm locked in like say it's invincible.

I promise you I'm locked in. Say less. You might not understand, like, I'm like six, seven hundred pages into this bitch. Jesus. And I've never read that much in my life. Fair play. Okay. Bro. Okay. Breakdown? So the first book I have been reading on this journey is Fourth Wing. So, Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarris, is it? Yeah. Rebecca Yarris. So...

- It's juice. I'm currently like 85% through this book. - Yeah. - Huh? - Yeah. - Huh? Right. I'm gonna give you, so what I'm gonna do for this segment is moving forward, I'm just gonna give you up to where I'm at in these books. - Okay. - I'm gonna give you the tea and a full breakdown so you can understand what's going on. And I think there's three books in this series so far, and I think they might be bringing out two more.

So after this, I've got two more books to read and I'm fucking locked. And then there's a million other stories for me to read after this as well. So I'm very, very excited. So as requested, Fyod has asked for like a little mind map so he can have visual aids for all the names that I'm reading out. Okay. So also to make this, I forgot to mention, to make this segment professional, I have a new...

- Persona? - Persona to take on. - Okay. - It's called Daddy Fantasy. - Say less. - So Daddy Fantasy will be doing book talk from now on, okay? It's not gonna be James, it's gonna be Daddy Fantasy. - Okay, cool. - So I bought some glasses, some reading glasses. - You did say you were gonna get some reading glasses. - I bought some reading glasses. - The frameless Cartier's. Okay, put them on, let me see. - Yeah, they're my favorite thing in the whole world. - They look incredible. - Yeah, yeah. - They look incredible. - Wait, hang on, hang on, hang on. - Lock it, lock it. - Wait, wait, wait.

- Damn. They look clean. - Yeah, Daddy Fantasy's locked in. - They look clean. - Nice. - Right. - Yeah. - So they're literally my favorite thing. - Okay. - I bought them specifically for this. I've worn them every day. - They look clean. - Thank you, bro. Thank you. - The glasses. - Yes. - See-through. Rimless. Makes it look see-through. - Yeah, it does. It does. - Damn. - Yeah, it does. It does. - Fair. - Yeah. - Fair. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. It really does. - Ladies love cool James. - Yeah. - Say less.

- Say less. - Wait, hang on. Yeah, they're clean. I think it looks like thing on it, but it's fine. Right, anyway, so.

- So, fourth wing, right? - Yes. - I'm gonna give you a breakdown of what it's about and then we'll go into the characters and where I'm at. So I'm 85% for this book. - Synopsis. - So we live in a universe now in fourth wing where they live on a very Game of Thrones-y. - Okay. - So we live on a continent where on one side of the continent there is a race of people. I can't even remember what they're called, but there's one side of the continent where there's a race of people that live, everything's cool and their kind of go-to ting

like the Targaryens is dragons, right? - Okay. - So on this side of the continent, dragons. On this side of the continent, there's another race of people and they ride Griffins. Griffins being like half eagle, half lion or some shit like that, right? - From like Harry Potter. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So we've got Griffins versus dragons. - Okay. - And they've been at war with each other for like 400 years. So in this story, we focus on the side of the continent that has the dragons, right? - Okay.

And they have a mandatory conscription or conscription into military service. So when you come of age, you have to do military service. Okay. And that can be either like a frontliner, which is just like a soldier, a foot soldier. You can be a scribe, which is more of just like a historian and like a strategist. Okay.

And just like a brain, just like brain behind war, war strategy and all this kind of shit. Or you can be a healer. So again, infirmary, healing people, this kind of shit. Or you can be a rider. Rider is where you bond with a dragon. Okay. And dragons, the dragons in this, they have magical power. So once you become a dragon rider, you're not just any man riding dragons. They put their magic into you and you can do magic shit.

- Sort of like when you soul bond in Avatar, the movie, with the dragon, they see what you see type of thing. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Similar, similar, similar, similar. So yeah, as soon as you bond with the dragon, you're kind of, you're also bonded for life. So if your dragon dies, you die. And sometimes vice versa. The dragons are so much more powerful than humans that sometimes their rider can die and they won't die, but they'll be rocked. They'll be rocked. - Okay. These glasses are too clean. - Thank you, bro.

Thank you. Daddy fantasy. Yeah, go on. So anyway, we live in this world and our main character right in the middle there is Violet Sorengel. Okay. Now, Violet Sorengel is the daughter of Lilith Sorengel. Okay. Lilith Sorengel is like one of the most famous dragon rider generals on the continent, in the world.

She's a general in their army and she's like top, top, top, top tier. She's like second in command in the, so actually like third in command. So in their country, they've got the king, they've got the top, top general, I can't remember his name, and then they've got Liv just under him. So she's like the third most powerful person in this universe. She had three kids, Violet, who's our main character, Mira, who is like a lieutenant in the army. She's also a rider. And Brennan, Brennan's dead.

So

Brennan died a few years ago, like four years ago, six years ago, some shit like that. And he was a super, super, super powerful rider. They only reference him as him in the past? Yeah. Okay. He's dead at the start of the tape. Okay. And yeah, they only remember him. And he was like a really, really, really powerful rider. Liv is a super powerful rider. Mirazur is a really strong rider as well. So they're just a family of riders. And their dad is a scribe. Or he was a scribe. He died. He basically died of heartbreak when Brennan died.

So her brother, so Violet's brother and dad are dead. Okay. So now it's just Lilith, Mira and Violet. Violet, yeah, I'm with you. So...

Lilith is general. Mira has, she's like a successful rider. She's riding a dragon and she's doing all the army shit. Okay. Violet has now just come of age where she needs to now be conscripted into the military. Okay. Her dad was a scribe and trained her to be a scribe her whole life. Okay. She's super, super, super, super smart. She's like smarter than anyone. Okay. And she's been training her whole life to be a scribe. Okay. Six months before conscription, Lilith, her mom, has been like,

Joke's on you. You're going to be a rider. Now, the thing about riders is you don't just get to pull up. So basically there's like a school. It's like a Hogwarts thing where you learn to be a rider. And when I say people die every day, there's no guarantee that you're ever going to bond with a dragon. Okay. So the rules of being a rider is because you're such a hardcore military person. They have rules where you're allowed to kill each other in a school. Hmm.

You can do whatever. Basically, anything goes. The only one rule is you're never allowed to kill someone in their sleep. Okay. But pretty much everything else is fair game. Okay. And you also can't kill your direct superior. So they're basically set up into houses like Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Dente. They're called wings. So first wing, second wing, third wing, fourth wing. Okay. Which is why the book's called Fourth Wing. Yeah. Because Violet goes into the fourth wing. Okay. So anyway, Lilith has been like- I'm blocked. Yeah, good. Yeah. Lilith has been like, this actually makes a massive difference to me as well. Okay. This mind mapping. I'm telling you, visually it helps.

Lilith, good idea. Lilith has said six months before conscription, I know your entire life for the last literally 19 years, your dad has been training you to be a scribe. Your dad's dead. Fuck your dad. You're going to be a rider. Okay. When you are conscripted into the rider like quadrant, 85% of rider recruits die.

So it's a three year school You're in school for three years And you have an 80% 85% chance of death So out of the Let's say a thousand people Go into year one By the graduation of year three 150 people left Yeah It'll be 150 people left Damn So it's pretty much certain death Okay And this is what mum said Violet needs to do Yeah Because that's what she did That's what Mira did That's what Brenna did

She said, "If you're a Soren girl, bro, you're gonna be a rider." - Say less. - So she had six months to train for Rider Academy when everyone else in Rider Academy has had their whole life. Anyone who's gonna go into Rider Academy knows their whole life they're gonna go into Rider Academy. They train for it. So that everyone's wham, they fight, their hand-to-hand combat is up, they're ready, they've been practicing how you would ride a dragon, they know all the stages, what you do in first year, what you do in second year. They've been training their whole life to be riders. Violet's had six months to learn that. So then from the jump, the first thing that happens

on like inauguration day, introduction day is you have to walk this thing called a parapet, which is like a wall. You have to walk like across this really, really tiny little wall. And people say from jump, you fall off, bro. They say from jump, before you've even made it into being a cadet, you have to make it across this parapet. If you can't make it past the parapet, you don't deserve to be here is what they said. Hundreds of people die.

- Just getting into the door. - Is there like, is it like an auditorium thing? Are people watching other people do this thing? - Yeah, so basically what ends up happening is you pull up on the day. - Yeah. - You've, there's a huge meeting where like everyone in your year group is now being conscripted.

And they'll say foot soldiers go this way, healers go this way, you go there. And all the thousands of people go and then go riders, here you go. And you're on your way to your barracks on this side. And just to get there, you have to cross this wall. And there's like two guards on this side of the wall, two guards on that side of the wall. And once you've made it, you go into the Hogwarts Great Hall or whatever. So Violet now is like, holy fuck.

I got across this parapet, I'm scared shitless. Mira is livid at her mum for making her be a rider. She's like, she's not ready for it. Also for context, Violet is much weaker than your normal person. So when Liv was pregnant with Violet, she got some sickness and it transferred into Violet. So Violet was always born with brittle bones, smaller, skinnier. - Damn. - Everyone else in the family's fucking massive. - Okay. - Violet's like a bit weak. - Okay. - So Mira's been like, she's not built for it bro. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - So anyway, she goes to the parapet and on the parapet,

She meets Zayden Rioson, right? Okay. Zayden Rioson is the son of...

Of who they call the great betrayer. Okay. So a few years ago, there was a civil war in their thing where a big group of people turned against the king. Okay. And they were like, fuck you. We're going to overthrow the king. We don't believe in these laws. We don't believe in that law. Fuck the king. Zayden's dad was the leader of everyone trying to overthrow the king. Once the king defeated them, Zayden's dad was put to death.

Along with every other person, every other soldier who was on the ops. Okay. And then the child, there's like 126 kids of 126 children of all of these betrayers. Okay. Each child was marked on a part of their body to show that they're the child of a betrayer. Fuck. Okay. And they're forced into Ryder's Academy.

Because the chances are you're going to die there. Your punishment for being the kid of one of these betrayers is you're forced into fucking... Becoming a rider. Becoming a rider. Yeah. Now, so Zayden hates Violet's mom, Lilith. Okay. He hates her guts because she's the one who killed his dad. Okay. Plot twist. Zayden's dad during the Civil War is also the person who killed Brennan. Okay. Okay.

So There's entanglement Yeah yeah yeah Okay Violet hates Zayden Zayden hates Violet Yeah Because he hates her mum Yeah So Yeah Sauron girls and Rhylson's Don't get along Okay So anyway Oh my god Yeah yeah yeah Okay okay okay Yeah

On the first day, Mira's like, cool, mum's going to make you do this thing. I need to tell you now, stay the fuck away from Zayden Rioson. He's going to want to kill you. Okay. He's got obviously a vendetta against our entire family. And you know why? She's like, bet. Fuck him anyway because his dad killed my brother. You need, Mira says, you need to go find Dane Estos. So Dane,

is her childhood friend. Dane's dad is Lilith's like closest advisor. - Okay. - So Dane's dad is really high up in the military as well. So Violet and Dane grew up together. They've been best friends the whole life. He's a year older than Violet. So he's been in Rider Academy a year longer. - Okay. - So Violet's a first year, Dane's a second year, Zayden is a third year. - Okay. - Cool. So,

She gets to the parapet now. She has to cross it randomly because I told you, you're just about to kill people in this academy. Jack Barlow comes along. Jack Barlow is just any cadet who's fucked in his head. Who's grown up, kind of like, do you know, kind of like Hunger Games? Where some people are, they...

always volunteer because they've been training their whole life for the games. Each like section or whatever always has like two cadets that are like ready for the games. And there's people that can't wait to kill. Same as Jack Barlow. He's grown up his whole life ready to be a rider. He's grown up his whole life knowing that it's kill or be killed. He's on it. So as soon as he sees Violet, he finds out who she is and who her mom is. And he's like, I'm just going to kill you for the fucking bants of it.

Damn Violet is not a vicious person Or a mean person So she's like Bro I'm not on it Like leave me alone He's like joketing bro He's behind her on the wall Yeah He's on the wall behind her So when she's walking on the wall Trying not to fall off He's behind her like I'm gonna fucking push you off You little dickhead Damn So anyway Long story short They both make it across And he's like I wish I could've fucking killed you So he's like I promise you In this year You're dead bro

So this first book, "Fourth Wing" is all about their first year. - Okay. - You're fucking dead. Similar to Harry Potter, like first year thing. So the whole year, Jack's, every chance Jack gets, I'm gonna kill you, I'm gonna kill you, I'm gonna kill you. So Violet has to learn how to defend herself. There's, throughout the week, there's like, how do you say, like,

obstacle courses they have to go where you can slip and die. There's hand to hand combat sparring that you have to do where you're allowed to kill other people. So Jack's, she's watching Jack across the way in the gym every day killing niggas for fun. And the professors are like, for fuck sake Jack stop. - Not again. - Yeah stop, you don't need to, you're allowed to but you don't need to. He's like, I don't give a fuck bro. And every time I look at Violet, I'm like, you're next. Bro it's long. - Yeah. - So anyway,

Dane, because it's Violet's best friend, the whole time has been like, I need to get you out of here. Every day Violet survives, Dane's like, thank God you survived today. Let's get you out of here. And she's like, bro, my mom was literally throwing me back in. As soon as you get rid of me, my mom would literally throw me back in. Dane's like, you don't fucking understand. You have to get out of here. They're going to kill you, Violet. You're my best friend. I can't have this. And she loves Dane because they grew up together and she thinks he's fucking handsome. Dane apparently is,

jacked and just classically handsome. - Okay, okay. - So she's like, "Dane, Dane, Dane, Dane, Dane, buff, buff, buff, buff, buff." But like over time, the more he's like, "Let's get you out of here. Let's get you out of here. I need to protect you. I need to do this. I need to do that." She's a bit like, "I'm not gonna lie, Dane. You're giving me the ick a little bit, bro." Because like,

Every day I survive, you're more convinced I can't do this. But every day I survive, I'm more convinced I can. I can do this, okay. I'm more convinced I can. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So Dane's like, fuck all that noise. I'm trying to protect you. And she gets to the point about halfway through it where she's like, bro, I don't need your fucking protection, big man. I'm here. There's been hundreds and hundreds of people that have died since the day I got here. Not me, bro. I've been looking out for numero uno. Mm.

Okay, violence or smoke. So yeah, you're either for me or against me then because the bottom line is I'm not leaving and every single time you try and make me leave, it puts me more and more off you. Okay. These times, Zayden's been giving her subtle hints like I'm going to fucking kill you and she's terrified of Zayden. Okay. But also, apparently he's fucking Leng. Okay. He's Leng. Okay. So every time she's in her head thinking, bro, I hate this brer, but they describe him as tall,

Fucking jacked Chiseled Mixed race I'm pretty sure They don't say mixed race But the way they describe his skin tone Is that he's coming mixed Okay Yeah He's coming mixed Zayden Yeah Zayden bro So anyway She's thinking I hate But this guy's fine That's what she keeps thinking I hate this guy But he's fine But I can't trust myself near him Because he literally wants to kill me Okay Because he hates my mum So anyway They've got this little love triangle thing Where she loves Dane from a past life But he's not willing to accept a new Violet

Zayden on the other hand, she thinks he's fine as fuck, but he's too dangerous. But the danger kind of turns her on. She's thinking, I can't trust myself around him 'cause he's so fine, but why is he not killing me? He's had every opportunity to kill me, but like, I don't know why he's not, he's playing with his food is what she's thinking. He's literally playing with his food. - Okay, okay, okay, I'm locked, I'm locked, yeah, yeah. - So anyway, the whole point of first year is what they call threshing. You build up to threshing is where,

However many dragons will come over from their part of the island and they'll line themselves up and they will decide whether they're open to bonding basically. It's like, I'm here. If the right kind of rider is about, I'll bond with them. And there's different types of dragons. There's different races of dragon and there's different sizes and they all have like different levels of aggression. And then all the dragons have names and some of them are survivors of,

Old dragons No no old riders So the riders have died And then the dragons Live on and blah blah blah So We get to threshing Violet now is Terrified

- To bond. - To bond. Because these dragons will also, if they think you're a pussy, they'll burn you on the spot. - Okay. - So you could just be walking around a field and you're kind of interviewing yourself for these dragons and you could look at a dragon and think, I want to try and bond with this dragon. He'll just burn you. - What's it called? - Dracarys. Yeah, bro. They literally, the dragons are so conscious of the fact that they are so far above humans.

bonding with a human they're doing them a favor don't waste my time with your bullshit because they also know humans can't do shit to dragons so they can burn whoever they want no one's gonna do nothing about it so anyway we get to threshing now violet shook all of a sudden um there's a dragon called adana and dana at the bottom there and dana is what they call a feather tail okay and she's feather tails never bond so they don't know why the feather tail's even there okay um and

Adana is literally, Adana, sorry, is literally just chilling. And Jack being the sicko that he is, is like, bros, he gets two of his boys out. I'm pretty sure we should just kill that feather tail because she's so weak. She can't even like fly properly. So if she bonds with a rider, she shouldn't be here trying to bond with people because if she bonds with a rider, she can't do, um,

She can't do fire breathing. She can't even fly with someone on her back. She's so small. Like let's just fucking kill her and get her out. Like if anything, the more other dragons will respect us for getting rid of the weaklings. Cause they don't like weaklings. So he gets a couple of his boys. Violet's like, fuck that. There's no way they're killing this feather tail. She pulls up daggers on in hand. And she's like, leave shaking, leave the dragon alone. Jack's like, oh, this is a two for one deal.

Because I've been trying. So Ben wants him to kill you. Yeah, I've been wanting to kill this bitch. And now she's standing between me and a dragon I've got to kill. It's too easy. It's too easy, Violet. So he pulls up on a sword just like immediately. He's running out, running out. The thing is, even though she's small, she's fast, bro. Oh, agile. Agile. Fair play. And she's been practicing because she knows she can't go hand to hand with the swords. She's been practicing throwing daggers. Okay. So Jack runs up on her. You stupid little cow. She goes. Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha.

On a shuriken thing Stabs him up And that's when he He realises I'm really not him Because he sees the wounds Drops the sword Dips into the forest He says fuck it But his two boys are still there Zayden now pulls up Bear in mind Zayden

Is bonded with scale. Scale is like one of the most powerful dragons there is. Okay. And it's commonly known the more powerful your dragon, the more powerful your magic powers. Okay. So Zayden's a big boy. Okay. And he has his power. Your power is unique to everyone. Everyone has completely different powers. Okay. You don't just have whatever magic. Okay. You have what they call a signet. And once you develop your signet, you have a very specific power. Okay. So his is shadow wielding. Okay.

- Okay. - So basically any shadow he sees, he can either use shadows to like black out so you can't see anything or his shadows can actually use as like hands. So like he can like pick shit up with shadows. He can like attack people with shadows. - And no one else can do what he does. - No one else can do shadow wielding. It's a very, very rare thing. - Okay. - So even though they're unique to everyone, there's common ones, ice like ice bending, fire bending, all them kind of things. They're pretty common ones, but shadow is like a very unique one. So everyone's gas of Zayden, even though he's the son of the great betrayer,

they fear him and they respect him at the same time. So he's also a wing leader. So he's the leader of fourth wing where Violet is. Okay. He's a leader of fourth wing. He's a third year, you said, right? He's a third year. So...

Anyway, Zayden pulls up and is also common knowledge on threshing day, the leaders are not allowed to interfere no matter what, you're gone. - Okay. - So if Jack's trying to kill Violet now, if Zayden sees it, he can't stop. Even if Dane sees it, 'cause Dane's a leader of the second years. Even if Dane sees Violet, his best friend, getting attacked, by the rules, you are literally not allowed to interfere. - Oh, damn. - You're gonna have to watch her die.

So Zayden pulls up with scale and them two are just watching. She stabbed up Jack. Jack's dipped. Two of his boys have tried to rush Violet. Zayden's there just watching. And she's like, are you gonna do something? He's like, bro, I can't. And then the two boys are like, Zayden, you best not do nothing. 'Cause we're about to kill this bitch and this dragon. You best sit there and watch. And Zayden's like, all right, G, do your thinking. And then, bro, they try to pull up on her. She stabs another Bray. All of a sudden,

Bang! Tan. I'm calling him Tan. It might be Tan. Tan. I can't pronounce it.

I'm gonna call him Tarn. Tarn pulls up. Tarn is, apart from Lilith Sorengale's boss, the great general. - Yeah. - The great general has the most powerful dragon in the world. - Yeah. - The second most powerful dragon in the world is Tarn. - Okay. - Tarn wasn't even supposed to be there. - Yeah. - He's too bougie for all of this bonded shit. But he saw how Tarn, Tarn saw how Violet was trying to protect Andana. - Yeah. - And said, this is the one for me and bonds with her. So now Violet, who was a shrimpy little nobody. - Yeah.

Is now bonded With the second most powerful dragon in the world With the second most powerful dragon in the world Yeah As well as Adana Who's also bonded with Violet Oh we can bond We can't It's never happened Interesting No one has ever bonded with two dragons Interesting Ever Interesting Very fucking interesting Okay So now She has Two sets of powers So moving on a little bit now

she's trying to figure out, it takes, once they start putting their magic into you, it takes a little while for you to figure out what your thing is. But now, Violet's hot property in school. Hot property. - I bet. - So also people are well aware in the first few weeks of bonding, if you kill the rider, sometimes the dragon will bond with you. - Okay. - So now people are definitely trying to kill Violet. - Okay. - 'Cause she's got the most powerful dragon and she's the only person to ever bond with two. - With two, okay.

People are rushing her in her sleep. Everything's happening. And you can't rush in sleep, you said. You can't rush in sleep. People don't give a fuck anymore. Tarn's up for grabs, bro. I don't give a fuck about the rules, bro. Tarn's up for grabs. He's the second most powerful dragon in the world. Bro, they rush her in her sleep. All of a sudden, Adana's power kicks in that night. Bang. She can stop time.

So while these men are rushing her, freeze. Yeah, Violet moves out. The only people who are not getting frozen are Violet and Zayden. Zayden, I should have said, his dragon scale is boyfriend and girlfriend with Tarn.

Tarn and Scale are boyfriend and girlfriend. And mated dragons mate for life. - Okay. - Which also extends the bond. So now when I said- - Okay. - If Scale dies, Zayden dies. - Yeah. - If Tarn dies, Violet dies. - Yeah. - But now if Zayden dies, Violet dies. If Violet dies, Zayden dies. - So does that mean Violet can also shadow thingy? - No. She has her own powers from Tarn. - Mm.

She gets a time-stopping power from Adana. But we realized that the reason Adana is so small is Feathertails are actually babies. No one knows this. They just think they're a breed of dragon, but no one ever sees them. So Adana doesn't have enough power to consistently use the time-stopping ability, but Tarn won't let Violet tell everyone, "I can stop time."

because Adana shouldn't even be involved. And the time-stopping ability is too powerful. Feathered Tails also can't control their powers. So Tan's like, don't you fucking dare say anything. Anyway, we move on. Zayden, now, because he's connected to Violet, and if she dies, he dies, he has to run up on, even though he's the one who went to kill her, these men trying to rush her in the sleep of the night, he bodies them. So she stops time, doesn't know what to do. Time comes back in. When I say he bursts through the things and dies,

The way they describe it is within a millisecond he's at the doorway, everyone's lifted up by their throat in shadows. He mercs them all off, bro. - Sick. - He mercs them all off. He doesn't play. - Fair play. - So now she's bonded to two dragons. She's got the time stopping ability. She's bonded to Zayden. Zayden's bonded to her. She's waiting for Tarn's ability to kick in as well.

And basically one day Jack's moving fucking brazy. They're on a riding like expedition ting. Jack moves crazy and stabs a guy. Violet's had enough. He stabs one of Violet's best friends. Okay. And Violet can't stand it anymore. And she feels the power welling up inside of her, bro. And she's like, fuck this guy, bro. And as she points at him, lightning all around the sky just goes, bang, merks him on the spot. She's a lightning wielder and she can stop time.

Lightning wielders are like one in every century. You'll get one. She's powerful. Fair. She's powerful. Fair. Zayden saw it and said, rah. I'm with the queen. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And now everyone knows that Violet and Zayden are bonded for life. Okay. Even if they hate each other. Yeah. And everyone needs to also keep them separated because together, with his shadow wielding and her lightning wielding, they're unstoppable. They're unstoppable. And they've got the two most powerful dragons in the world. Yeah. They're literally unstoppable. So, they

Dane is like, you need to watch out for Zayden. Violet's like, he ain't gonna kill me. And now she's getting the ick from Dane because he's like, stop trying to protect me all the time. And Zayden's like, I need to teach you how to toughen the fuck up because I can't be here protecting you all the time. So now she's like, I've got one man trying to cover me, cover me, won't let me be me. I've got another man that just wants me to be stronger and stronger and stronger. The only thing I'm gonna pick. Yeah, bro. Long story short, Violet and Zayden fuck. I bet. They fuck. I fucking bet, yeah. And I'm gonna read it to you.

- Yeah, I'm gonna read it to you. - All right, bet. - Bro, let me find the page. - Bet. - Bro, when I say it gets explicit. - Bet, bet, bet. - Bro, huh, right, what page was it? 486. When I say me and Megan, I screamed! I screamed when I was reading it. Right, let's go to 486. Right, so the scene, right?

Violet has now just killed Jack with her lightning wielding. She can't handle the fact that she just killed someone. She's never killed anyone in her life. Zayden's pulled up on her and just been like, "You need to accept it. That's why you're here." And she's like, "I'm just fucked. I'm fucked. I'm fucked." And she's like, "I can't stand how fine this guy is. He's always in my face, just sexy, sexy, sexy. He's pissing me off." And she tells herself, "Bro,

I don't want to feel this emotion anymore. I don't want to be overthinking. I don't want this or that. I want you to fuck me. And Zayden's like, relax. And he says, bro, you need to think about what you're saying, Violet. And this is where it starts. She says, Zayden, I don't want to think. I just want to feel. So she says, I release him. But in her room, okay? I release him.

Yeah. She says,

I arch into him and claim his lips, kissing him like this might be the only time I'll get the chance. This kind of desperation isn't natural. It's a wildfire that's likely to burn us both to the ground if we let it. This kiss is blatantly, deliciously carnal and I melt against him, matching every thrust of his tongue with mine. He tastes like mint and Zayden and I can't get enough.

he's the worst kind of addiction dangerous and impossible to sate tell me to stop he whispers his thumb skimming the hypersensitive skin of my inner thigh don't stop i'll die if he does oh my god yeah i'll die if he does violet he groans slipping his hand between my thighs never mind that is how i want him to say my name from now on just like that

He glides the fabric of my underwear across my clit and my back arches at the burst of pleasure that radiates through my body. So sweet I can taste it.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. First of what did you say? He climbs the fabric of my underwear across my clit and my back arches at the burst of pleasure that radiates through my body. It's so sweet I can taste it. He captures my mouth with his again in a hungry assault, his tongue sliding against mine as his fingers stroke me through the fabric, expertly using it for friction.

I try to rock my hips against his hand for more, but my feet dangle off the desk, robbing me of leverage. I can only have what he decides to give. "Touch me," I demand, my fingernails biting into the back of his strong neck, desire pounding through me like a drumbeat. His voice is ragged against my mouth. "If I get my hands on you, really, honestly get my hands on you, I don't know if I'll be able to stop."

He would. I know it in my soul. That's why I trust him with my body. My heart? It isn't playing into this decision. Stop being so fucking honorable and fuck me, Zayden. His eyes flare and then he kisses me like I'm the heir he's been missing. Like his life depends on it and I think mine just might. His fingers slide under my underwear and stroke my slickened core.

and a moan tumbles from my lips. His touch is electric, so damn soft. He kisses me deeply and his fingers touch and tease, making that sweet coil of pleasure tighten in my core. I dig my nails into his shoulder, my back arching as he makes tighter and tighter circles against my swollen clit. I bet you taste just as good as you feel.

That's where I'm going to stop.

- "Pen Game." - Yeah. - That's all I kept thinking. Wow. - "Pen Game" is facts. - "Pen Game." - Yeah, bro. - Wow. Also, are you done with this? - I'm done. - What I would say is, first of all, it sounds like a fantastic book. - Oh, it really is. - I like how, obviously, this mind map has helped me picture everything you are saying because I can see all the names. Do you see what I'm saying? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's made me want to watch this as a series. - 100%. - It's made me want to watch this as a series and Rebecca's pen game, is it Rebecca Yaros? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Her pen game and that bit just then. - Disgraceful. - Wow. - Yeah, they fuck again where I'm at right now and yeah, again, spitting bars. And that's just like, that was just him fingering her. - Fingering her or barely fingering her. - Yeah, yeah, he's only just got one finger in. When they actually bang,

Goes off. Damn, son. It goes off. She takes everything from him. I bet. And she also can't control her power when she's nutting. Every time she orgasms, lightning just bursts through everywhere. Breaking windows, breaking drawers, everything. She can't help it. She doesn't give a fuck. She doesn't give a fuck, bro. Sexy. Yeah, and he uses his shadows to protect her from the debris so he can keep fucking her. Yeah, it's nuts. It's absolutely nuts. They're meant for each other. Yeah, they are. Star-Crossed lovers, bro. Ha ha ha!

So anyway, I'm like 85% for this book. Prediction wise. Yeah. So, um,

Zayden basically graduates in a few weeks. Okay. And he's going to get shipped off into service. They're dragons because they're mates. They can't be away from each other for like any more than three days. Oh, okay. So it's common knowledge that either she's going to have to fly out to where he's at, wherever he's stationed at war, or he's going to have to continuously fly back to school. It's more likely they're going to make her fly out to him because he's so powerful. They need him on the front lines. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So,

I'm looking forward to finding out what happens once he graduates and how they're going to keep this going. Okay. And also she's now got, bearing in mind, all this is all going on. Once he graduates, she's a first year, he's a third year. Even in their senior year every three days, she's still got two years of school. Yeah. So I'm very intrigued as to what's to happen. Damn. Okay. And Dane is still very well in the mix, but he's friend zoned right now.

So I'm very intrigued when Zayden's gone and Dane's here as a third year. I'm intrigued to see while going. And what's the book after this? Onyx something maybe. Book two is Onyx Storm. Okay. I think Onyx Storm is book two. Okay. And then there's Fire something something. Okay. Yeah. It's really good.

- Damn, fair play. - Yeah, it's really good. - I was locked in bro. I was literally pitching like a series. - Yeah, gang bro, I'm glad. So what I'll do is I'll finish off this book. So I might, depending on, I know we've got a guest episode next week, I think. So I won't have, I will have finished this book and I'll start the next book and I'll give you a running order from where I'm at now to where I'm good. - Makes sense. - Cool, right. Daddy Fantasy logging off. I really want this Daddy Fantasy thing to be a thing.

- It has to be a thing. - Oh yeah, 100%. I want people to go on TikTok and be like, "Oh, I didn't know what James wore glasses." And then people in comments are like, "That's not James." - That's Daddy Fantasy. Keep up. - Yeah, and they'll be like, "What do you wanna?" - Link. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, bang. In terms of new things that we've been doing also, Fuhad and I are what? I am day 27.

streak for Luodingo. - Yeah, same. I did my Luodingo in the office today for my today streak. - So yeah, Fyodor and I have been learning Japanese on Luodingo. We won't say the government name because they haven't dropped the bag. And that's just Frank. - Facts. - They're not paying us. - No free. - Yeah, it's Luodingo. But one thing I will say, I'm locked lefuckin'. - Same. I'm learning shit. - I'm learning

full-on japanese bro same i was i said to you i took a picture of um a cup in mexico that had an english word that say like do not recycle and it had it in japanese and i knew what the characters were i was gas delhi wow yeah i'm lacking on my characters i'm not gonna lie to you gas that's awesome yeah bro is it different like segments so it'll be like characters street signs food like

- Different categories. - Yeah, there's different categories. Yes, for sure. And the characters itself is a completely different task. - That's sick though. - Yeah, that's cool. - That's rough. - Yeah, it's ooh. - It's good bro. So right now I'm learning, I'm assuming you're around the same. I'm learning- - Countries. - Now, oh, I passed the countries. - Okay. - I'm doing like directions. - Directions, oh yeah, that's one after me. - Yeah, so- - I'm still with the countries bit. - Oh yeah, bro, so I'm like, where's the hotel? Where's the convenience store? Here's the...

What is it? What's the other one? Convenience store, hotel and like bus stop and shit like that. It's fun. And then it gives you like where and here. Okay. So like where is doco and here is coco. Okay. But also they're using, now they're starting to mix me up with different alphabets. Okay. So the de from, oh yeah, there's a department store, for example, is like de...

I can't even remember what department store is, but the death at the beginning of department is different for the death of deaths. - Okay. - So, you know, when they do the jigsaw piece. - Yes. - They're having debt and debt and it's two different symbols. And I'm like, how the fuck am I supposed to remember this? - Interesting. - They're layering it up. - Okay. - They're laying it. So I did it on stream the other day and everyone's like, you're gonna have to jump on the alphabet, bro. You don't know what you're doing. - Bro, the alphabet's always that, bro. - Yeah. - It's a mind fuck because my,

My thing is I do it off process of elimination when it comes to the alphabet, when it's like, oh, what is, I don't know, shitake, for example. And I will know what

K is or she is. So I'll know, oh, it's definitely this. And it's not this, it's not this, because I know what she looks like. You see what I'm saying? But the Take, I might not know specifically, but you know what I'm saying? So it's all process of elimination. It's hard to know what each individual alphabet is. Yeah, it's really tough. It's tough, man. It's tough. Should we do a test? All right, I'm down. I want you to say, Ellis is a nice and a cool person. Ellis is a nice and a cool person.

it's not san ellis yeah sun oh yeah it would be sun ellis samwa ellis no ellis san why yasashi what was the sentence ellis is a nice and a cool person ellis sanwaya sashi to kagoy hito this is sick yeah oh no that's not why because the desert is there is

No, white is correct. Yeah, yeah, yeah. White is correct. Yeah, bro. Do me one, do me one, do me one. Let's say... This is cool. Say my... Oh, no. They've not done my name, has they? Yeah. Hi, I'm James and I'm from Britain. Oh, my God. I'm from...

or i'm british okay okay i'm british yeah um hi i'm james and i'm british yeah uh konichiwa james this um and i'm british konichiwa james this nah yeah

- Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. - Yes. - No, no, no, no. - Yeah. - Come on, dog. - Yeah. - Yeah, man. - Yeah, I wouldn't even guess it 'cause I knew that's what you had to say.

Yeah, we're learning Japanese guys. Yeah, Luwadingo, bro. Come on, lock in, man. Fuck, I'm gassed. So guys, we're gonna, I think what we should try and do is just week on week, give each other very brief tests. Okay, I'm down. So I'll have like three questions for you. You have three questions for me. Okay. And we're gonna keep up, keep up, keep up. Nice. Okay, I'm down. I'm definitely down. Accountability gang, keep us in check. All right.

- Scenario. - Yeah. - We're on holiday, but we're on separate holidays, right? So we're not together. You're with probably like the love of your life or whatever. You're with a ting, you're with a sweet one. And you're in a restaurant. You're eating, you're vibing, you're chilling, whatever. And you're on like your mains, for example. You've not hit the payment yet. You're still on your mains, you're chilling. But all of a sudden, a like 7.1 magnitude earthquake happens. Shit isn't breaking, but shit's rocking. - Right. - And everyone is darting.

Once it's all said and done, let's say it lasts about five minutes. Let's say it's done. Are you coming back to pay the bill? - Nah. - Why not? - In my mind, to be perfectly honest, natural disaster just means free. Natural disaster means free. It's martial law. - Because they've ruined my experience. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. What am I paying for? I was fearing for my life. I'm glad it's not your fault. - Yeah. - But it's not my fault either. Shit does happen sometimes. - Oh, it's free.

- Natural disaster just means the shit is free. - Okay. - Because it also wouldn't be their fault if a gunman locked up in there. - True. - If a gunman came to my head and was like, "Give me some!" I'm not paying for that. That's not my fault, it's not their fault. - You would just leave? - Yeah, I'd leave. I'd be like, "Damn, I didn't lost my life. I'm going, bro. I'm going. It's not safe here." My excuse would be, "It's not safe." - Yeah, okay. - 'Cause we don't know when the aftershock is coming. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I'd say, "Babe, get your shit, let's go." - Yeah. - Surely they can't ask me to pay. - Okay. - Are you paying?

- The thing is, I don't know if my conscience would make me wanna go back and pay. Whether I'd pay or not is another story, but most likely I'd probably get the fuck out of there and not turn back. Probably get the fuck out of there and not turn back. It's also because like, I generally don't think, I think if it's happened, if I felt it pause at 7.1 there,

If I go back there, it's probably going to be worse. I don't want to see what it looks like now. Because I felt what it was like when I was in there. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. I would say as well, knowing me, if I happen to be, if this restaurant's off ends, sorry, innit? But if it's somewhere that I pass on a regular basis, a few days later, if I happen to be passing there, I would bop in and be like, look,

this this this this this they probably don't have my bill but let me just pay like 250 or something yeah yeah yeah like let me just pay because i didn't pay earthquake i dipped but if it's just off ends bro it's free that dinner was free ellis ellis um

I'd pay it. Really? You'd go back? Yeah, because I just feel too guilty. It'd eat me up. I'd be in bed and I'd worry about it and I'd think about it and it would annoy me. And I kind of believe in karma a little bit as well. So I'd get worried. I'd be like, oh, something's going to happen to me now. Just pay your bill. Do you know what I mean? Fair play, bro. I felt bad the other day. I went to Sainsbury's and I didn't scan my lemon.

One lemon? Yeah, do you know when you're supposed to weigh it and manually put it in? I didn't do it and I thought, oh shit. It don't matter, it is what it is, but I just felt a little bit guilty over that. I hear you. I hear you, bro. So over a bill, I don't know. I'm not going to lie to you, the bill wouldn't cross my mind. An earthquake. Yeah, fair, fair, fair. The bill wouldn't cross my mind. It is terrifying. Have you ever not paid a bill? No. I've thought about it though. Really? God, I've thought about it.

I think I have. I'm trying to think if I've done one unintentionally, but I don't think I have now. Fair. My mum was dating this one guy once, and he took me out to get to know him. Right. Oh, God. And, yeah. Stop it. Stop it. I bet he said, oh, God. Yeah. Yeah, I was like 10. And then it was like, oh, yeah. And we sat down. Stop it. What?

- You're right, you're right. - Your filler words, bro? - You narrate like Ricky Gervais. - Yeah, you do. You literally do. - Yeah, and then genuinely we were like, yeah, just getting to know him, he was telling me about himself. And then we're eating and he was like, "Oh, service here was shit, weren't it?" And I was like, "Oh yeah, to be fair." And he was like, "Get up, we're going." I was like, "What?" I was like, "We need to pay." He went, "Run."

- Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. - That was scary. - He grabbed me and we ran. - That'll put the fear of God in. - Yeah, that would terrify him. - I was shitting it. - Oh, I bet. - We just ran and ran. And then yeah, this waitress ran after us and that and we were gone. - Jesus, bro. - Yeah, I know, it was like, just run. - Jesus Christ. - Did you tell your mom? - Yeah, he was gone. - He was gone? - Yeah, after that, yeah, I reported back to my mom. Gone, mate. - Fair. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Do you feel- - It's insane. - When you got back home, after you reported to your mom and blah, blah, blah, and she was charged, did you feel a sense of like exhilaration?

- No, no, no, no. I didn't get pleasure out of that. I know some people do, don't they? Some people get like a rush. Yeah. They're like, "Oh, I love the rush." - That's how I used to get to steal sweets. I used to get fucking rushed, bro. - I used to steal money to steal sweets. Which didn't make sense. - Yeah, it didn't. Just steal the sweets. - Off the kitchen counter or something. Where would you steal money? - My parents, bro. - The wallet? - Yes. - Would you go in the wallet? - Yes, bro. - So I'd take little pounds and that. Like, do you know if I found it on like,

- The bedside cabinet or whatever, you take some pounds. - Fair. - Right. - But I would never go in a palace. - I would steal your notes back in the day. - Notes is fucking stupid. That's rookie. - I was a little thief. - Notes is out of control. - It is rookie 'cause you notice a note. - I'm gonna know if there's notes missing from my wallet. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Wow. Nah, I was stealing. My mum would tell me that, "Take two pound, I'll take four."

- Fair. - That's all it was. - Fair, fair. - But yeah, I was still sweets all the time, bro. I loved it. - Fair play. - It tastes so sweet, you man. - It does. It does, when it's free. - Yeah, bro, nothing tastes better than stolen sweets. Oh my God. And a Fanta fruit twist. - You stole a Fanta fruit twist? - Yeah, I was terrified. - Oh my God. - That time they rushed me out of the shop and they banned me from the shop. I was dread, it was my local.

- Oh yeah, I was shitting where I was eating. Like a dickhead. I was shitting on my fucking doorstep bro. They found me. - It had a fruit twist. - Yeah, it tasted like syrup. It tasted so good bro. - To be fair, I've done what, I stole a gelé from Primark. - Yeah, you told me, that's fucked up. - Yeah, that was foul. - Gams, I never, I never, I never upgraded to gams. - Literally put it on and yank the tag off and walked out.

Because them shops have security. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So there's no way I'm risking getting draped by security. I'll be too scared. Yeah, I think it was peer pressure as well. Oh, because your boys are doing it? I was with the homies as well. Yeah, that's fair. Yeah. The man can never convince me to steal cars. No, it wasn't about them convincing me. I think they rolled in to steal stuff anyway. So I was like, let me just take the gelé. I think my mates used to, we used to go JD and they'd take footballs.

In the little baskets Just grab a football Kick it around And walk out You man were rolling With the wrong crowd Didn't it Damn footballs And gilets Yeah I'm here now innit Yeah fair Damn bro Fuck I love Stealing sweets I miss that Oh it was a rush Yeah It was a rush I might steal some sweets today I miss it

- I miss it. - If there was like a Purge day where you know, like you can't get arrested or anything. Would you go into a shop and just grab some sweets? - Nah, because I can't get arrested, it's not fun. - Yeah. - Oh, it's that rush of it. - It's the risk of I'm doing something wrong. I'm doing something naughty.

I don't know what I would do on Purge Day. That's what I'm thinking. I'm literally thinking, what the fuck would I do on a Purge Day? I don't think I've got it in me to kill someone. I would definitely definitely kill someone on a Purge Day. That's not happening. I've got the car or something. Got a nice little Range Rover or something like that. Grand Theft. Grand Theft might get my rocks off.

- But do you know how to- - The drive must be amazing. Imagine the drive away. - When I say it can't be a manual, 'cause my foot will be shaking on the clutch. My foot will shake on the clutch. Now, biting point? Nah, I wouldn't have to do it. I'd have to breathe, you man. - That's hilarious. - I'll be terrified. Oh, grand theft must get you hard. - Yeah, the drive must be amazing.

- I would fuck my girl up to sit in a range. I'm one of these men, I teeth him all the time. - Yeah, I'm so happy my car's in a garage. I'm so happy. - I think you might understand. - Wow, I would fuck up to sit in a car. - Oh God, that's so- - Especially if you've got a girl that's like down. She loves a criminal. - A bad man and a soldier. - Yeah, man.

Damn That's the same There was a time Do you remember when we were in We were out in Sydney Okay And there was a girl

we were on our table and on the far end of the club, there was a couple standing on their booth in their table. And I turned to you and said, that was my exact type when I was like 16. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - And you could just tell from how he's presented, how she was presented, she loves criminals. - Okay. - And I remember when I was a teenager, I grew up in like a butters like area and a butters school. All the baddest bitches loved the criminals. - Yeah, they did.

Sense of security. Bro, all the baddies loved the road men. And I was a little goody two shoes playing football. Yeah. I was wearing shimpas with the broskies. To protect myself. Yeah, one guy offered me strongbow and I was scared to drink it. Oh my God.

That's what I was on. - Yeah, that's what you're on. - The tings weren't feeling, man. - They knew you weren't bad. - Yeah, they knew I wasn't a bad a life. And I used to think, damn, you're fine. And you just love road men and you're never gonna like me. And I remember seeing that ting and I was like, that's so funny. She looks exactly of what I would have been obsessed with when I was a teenager. - Fair play, fair play. - And her man was exactly what I assumed he would. - He would be, yeah. - That's jokes. - Damn, good question though. - That was funny. - Fuck, I thought it sounds appealing. It does.

Yeah, GTA 6 might have to see me. Oh, he's definitely going to see me. Yeah, now I know why RP is popping. Oh, yeah. Because these man's just stealing cars and banging prostitutes. What I don't understand is when role... You know in GTA RP, I've never played it. Neither. Why don't man them up to be the prostitute on the road? Yeah, that's embarrassing, isn't it? Bro, I've seen it. These man are hustling on the street corner, just getting clapped. Damn. And it'd be a grown-ass 9-to-5 dad.

Why? Just role playing as either a stripper or a hooker on the street and they get clouted in the alleyway. I don't know why. I guess it's, do you know what's crazy? It's probably one of those ones where they go to work, literally themselves, they go to work and they're thinking, this is so boring. I'm so used to this. Let me create a false identity. Yeah. And they turn up to be this prostitute.

and they're just living out a fantasy of like getting money from people. - Yeah bro. - Do you see what I'm saying? - Getting money for sucking dick. - 'Cause I can do what and say what I want. You never know what I want. - Yeah and I'm telling these man, I've got that throat for you and that's freeing up the cash. - And it's funny and you can't wait to do it again tomorrow.

You just can't wait to do it again tomorrow because you're trying to get all the quarters. - Yeah, wow. - I own this block. - Yeah, this is my territory. - I own this block. - And some little skank tries to like trick up on your spot. - Yeah, nah bro. - When you come back online, you're trapped. - Yeah, you're not turning tricks. This is my territory, bitch. This is my block, bitch. - Oh God, I can imagine. I can see it now. - Yeah, I can see it now. - How would you feel if your girlfriend did that? Like after work,

- She logged into GTA RP. - She's a prostitute. - She was a prostitute? - Yeah, yeah. And you just hear her like, "Hey, baby, I'm sure you're having a good time." - She can't do the vocals. She has to be so mundane about it. - She's typing, she's not even like- - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - She can't be obvious about it. - Yeah, she can't be like, "Oh, hey daddy." Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. - 'Cause I've not heard you speak like that. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have no interest in speaking to me like that. - Yeah, and with you, she's just boring. - Yeah, and I'm like, especially if I was like,

That's what you're into Go get dressed now And I'll run you some pee For this dick And she'd be like Ew No Shut up Yeah shut up and cook something Shut up Play a role Yeah Literally You're an accountant Be quiet Yeah never That's insane But that's To be fair That was me in The Sims Oh yeah The Sims I had a sexual awakening With The Sims When I was a kid Oh Yeah bro All I wanted to do Was clap the neighbour Oh fair Yeah

Hands up. Especially if she was married. Fair. The next door neighbor that's married and that's happy in her life. And I'm just a guy, the astronaut who lives next door. Just bopping and bopping. I've just got bags for days. Yeah. House is clean. Bro, she'll come over to give man like,

cake or bread or whatever she was coming around for. Now we're brethrens. And then you have that pivotal moment where she's come around four days in a row. The chat's been decent. And you're like, it asks you, where do you want to take this thing, man? Bro, that one day when you stick it on her and she's down and you're like, fuck. And just does that. That little dust ball thing. Fair play.

Wow. Yeah. Sims was a lot for me. All right, guys, we're going to sign off there and charge it. But thank you very, very much. It was a long episode. I really enjoyed it. But yeah, as always, guys, love, love, love. Does it ever feel like you're a marketing professional just speaking into the void? Well, with LinkedIn ads, you can know you're reaching the right decision makers. You can even target buyers by job title, industry, company, seniority, skills, brand.

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