875. Q&AF: Making Moves Without Pressure, Handling No Man’s Land & Cutting Distractions
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What is up guys, it's Andy Purcell and this is the show for the realest. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society. Welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, today we have Q and AF. That's where you submit the questions or call in.

And we give you the answers. Now you can submit your questions a few different ways. The first way is guys email these questions into ask Andy and any for sell it. I come or you go on YouTube in the comment section, type your question right in there, or you go down there under the YouTube video, click the link and you can apply to call in live on the show. All right. Pretty cool. We like it. All right. So if you're new, which a lot of you guys are every week, um,

We have shows within the show. Tomorrow we're going to have CTI. That's Cruise the Internet. We talk about what's going on in the world. We speculate on what's true, speculate on what's not true. And then we talk about how we the people have to solve these problems going on in the world. Other times we're going to have real talk. We got more of those coming. We're going to get serious now. We're going to start staying on track. You know, we can't have a podcast without being professional about it because we're professional podcasters. So we got real talk.

And then we have 75 hard versus. 75 hard versus is where someone who's completed the 75 hard program comes on the show. They talk about how their life was before, how their life is now, and how they use the 75 hard program to get their shit together. All right? If you're unfamiliar with 75 hard, it is the...

Beginning phase of the live hard program, which is the world's most famous mental transformation program ever. And, uh, it's available for free at episode two zero eight on the audio feed only. And again, that's two zero eight on the audio feed only. Um,

It's not on YouTube because we were on audio for basically, you know, seven years before we ever jumped onto YouTube. So most of our listeners are on audio and we don't have it on YouTube. So that's what's up. What else? What am I missing here? There's a fee. There is a fee. Yeah, the fee is very simple. Oh, there's a book you can buy called The Book on Mental Toughness at andyfrasella.com. It is the entire Live Hard program plus a whole bunch of other chapters on mental toughness, why it's important, how to use it in your life.

And then we have, what were you saying we had? I'm tired, bro. A fee. The fee is very simple. We don't run ads on the show. I don't take money from other companies to tell me what I can and can't say. And very simply, we need you to help us grow the show. All right, man. I know a lot of you, we have a massive, massive, massive audience on audio. We're getting there on YouTube. But guys, please do us a favor and help us grow the show. All right. Don't be a hoe.

All right. So what's up, man? Monday morning. Monday morning. Monday morning. Getting to the Warriors, man. Yeah. What movie is that from? Warriors. Oh, that's the name of the movie. Yeah. I've never seen that one. I've never seen it. I'm not surprised you haven't seen it. Is it good? What is it? Is that a basketball movie?

Futuristic gangsters. Man, what do you... I don't know if I like those sci-fi future gangster movies. Did you guys see that movie that's out now with... Brokeback Mountain? Oh, yeah. I saw you were in it. The sequel. Yeah. Just broke. Yeah. Oh, shit, man. What's that movie out right now with Tom Hardy? It's on fucking Netflix.

No, it's not my episode. Anyway, I don't know the name of it. But I like Tom Hardy. Yeah, I do too, but the movie sucks. Did it? Yeah, it's fucking terrible. It's like just this, it's just, I don't know. Whatever, man. Anyway, that's neither here nor there. Yeah, we got warriors lined up. We got warriors lined up to call into the show today. So let's get started, man. Yeah, well, let's get started. It won't be a phone call, though. We got to write in.

There's another warrior, though. You got a new listener. Oh, really? A new listener. Are they happy or are they angry? No, they're happy. Yeah, let's get some of these angry people to call in. Let's get the angry people to call in on CTI. I did have a Batman. Somebody, Batman, reached out. Yeah, filled out a thing. What, did he send the fucking Bat-single to you? No, I mean, literally what he was talking about. He's almost... Yeah, something about Gotham needs saving or some shit. Okay. Yeah. So he's a weirdo. Yeah, for sure. Got it. All right, Batman. Yeah.

We get them every now and then. Be careful what you say about Batman. Why? Fuck you up. It's Batman. Batman can't fight. What are you talking about, bro? Batman's the ultimate fighter. He's not even a superhero. He doesn't even have special powers. He just kicks people's asses. He trained in the fucking, at the top of a mountain peak with like,

Tibetan monks that know all the secret sauce. Yeah. And he became badass, bro. I'm going to be Batman one day. You guys won't know it though. It could be Batman. Well, I mean, so like, is that fucking Batman? Wait, who said this years ago? No. Well, no one gives me credit for the things I say anyway. So what the fuck doesn't matter? Everybody just acts like I didn't say it. Like I fucking say all this shit. Wait,

years in front of all these influencers and then somehow they get the credit for saying it. - Yeah, it happens. - Joe and I were talking last night that maybe they get the credit for saying it because they don't curse the way I curse. - Oh, is it the cursing? - I don't know. But like all these people that they're talking about, I said this shit years ago. - Yeah, and they say it just without cursing. - Yeah, see, that's why people gotta, you guys gotta have our backs, bro. Like you need to straighten these people out and be like, bro, these boys been saying this way before you. - With cursing. - Yeah.

Colorful language. Colorful language. Color and everything else. That's right. And a diverse crew. Yeah, that's it. All right. Well, let's make some people better today. All right, let's do it. I got some good ones for you, man. Let's knock them out. We got question number one. Hey, Andy, I'm a new listener to your content and I literally can't get enough. I came across your content on TikTok and you are the real deal. Here's my question.

Every breakthrough I've ever had came right after I hit rock bottom. After the breakup, the layoff, the health scare, I don't understand why it takes me falling apart to finally take action. Why can't I make moves when things are calm? How do I learn to grow from clarity instead of collapse?

Okay. First of all, this is a great question because many, many, many people struggle with this. They think that when things are going good, that they've caught some sort of like vibe or, you know, they've caught some good energy and things are just going good. And yeah, that does happen automatically sometimes through your life. Very high achieving, successful people, they don't allow themselves to fade back

to the crumbles. You know what I'm saying? So usually what's happening here is that if you look backwards and you see where you are today and you look back for the 30, 60, 90 days before you are in a good spot, you will see that you were behaving in a way that produced

this good spot in some way, shape or form. Okay. You might not have been doing everything right, but you were doing something right. And it led to a position where things felt like they were going well for you. And that might be the previous 90 days. That might be the previous year. It depends on how high or how low you are.

But what happens is, is that when things start to curve up and we start to get to, you know, where things are good and we start looking around and we're like, man, everything's going good. You know, the actions that we take are not the same as the actions that we take to dig ourselves out of the shit. All right. So,

What we have to realize and what this person needs to realize is that you are the result of your own decisions and your own actions, even when you aren't conscious of the actions that you're taking. And so what we need to develop here is a level of awareness to where when you feel like things are going well, you should automatically start to do more of the things that got you to that point.

That's the opposite of what most people do. Most people get in a position where they're making money, things are going well, maybe they're at the top of their fitness game and then they're like, oh, everything's good. And they stop doing the things that got them there and they start to drift down. In success, in business, in your career, even as an entrepreneur or an intrapreneur,

What happens is, you know, when you're at the bottom, bro, you don't you're like, fuck, my life sucks. I'm not making any money. My relationships are terrible. I'm not happy. I'm depressed. I got to do something different to get myself out of this. And so you'll start to take an active role in your life that starts to produce an incremental increase in

towards the way that you're trying to go. But when you're at the top or the perceived top, like, oh, things are great. I'm making what I want to make. People let off the gas and they don't continue to do the things that moved them out of the place. When in reality, when you do find yourself, when things are well, that's where you really need to audit yourself because our natural reaction as humans is to get comfortable and to be like, oh, everything's good.

Things are going well. And when you don't have the awareness to understand that you're in control of your own momentum by creating it yourself, it feels like, oh, the universe or, you know, the mystical powers that be are somehow punishing me. Or, you know, there's a there's we start to like throw the responsibility off to other things. And so what we need to happen here for this person is.

We need to understand that we are in control and whatever life we are living now is a result of our actions in the past. Okay. So,

We see this a lot in business owners where, you know, things start to get well and they start to think, fuck, I'm so successful. Everything I touch is going to be great. It doesn't matter if I show up anymore. It doesn't matter if I'm earlier, if I stay late. It doesn't matter if I do these meetings. It doesn't matter in fitness. If I eat well because I'm already in shape, I can have a couple of days off. I can go on a vacation. And then what happens is,

you start to go back down, okay? And this is totally within your control. This is with, and every single one of you guys are in control of this process. And so when you find yourself, when things are going good, that's the time to really audit what you're actually doing because when things are good, we don't have that desperation or that urgency to do the things that dug us out of the low place. And so what happens is,

People tend to go up and then they go down and then they go up and then they go down and then they go up and then they go down and they live their whole life like that. Truly successful people do not change the ownership or the actions or the urgency to

depending on how they feel that day. They execute no matter what. When things are good, they come with the same urgency as when things were shitty and they had to get themselves out of it. And so what that creates is a curve that instead of cresting and going back down, it just continues to go up.

All right, and this is what successful people do. And it just really takes some awareness and some understanding that we are in control of our momentum. If you are in a terrible place right now, if your life sucks right now, and you're waiting around for things to get better, that's not what you should be doing. That's not how it works.

You need to take action. You need to control what you could control, which is your food, what you put in your mind, how you move your body, how much water you drink, who you associate with, the things that are in your control. You need to execute on those in a positive manner, just like this, you know, program that somebody developed that I might've heard of, you know, called 75 Hard.

and then continue to do that even when things get good. And that's the key to avoiding these ups and downs. You have to continue to get better. You have to continue to come with urgency. You have to continue to control what it is that you can't control and you will avoid the dips. Now, will you still have a little bit of a dip sometimes? Yeah, because there's always things that we're dealing with that aren't in our control. But the reality is, is that, you know, I think off my experience,

you know, 80 to 90% of the result that we have in our lives is success.

in our control, okay? We can be fit no matter what. - You're saying there's very little that's outside of us. - Correct. - Right, right. - And most people think that everything's outside of their control. And so it's a matter of awareness and ownership, okay? Because if you are controlling the things that you control, you can be intelligent, you can be fit, you can be productive, you can get shit done, you can be around the right people, you can avoid negativity, you can avoid things that damage your progress, like maybe alcohol or whatever your vices might be. We are in control of those things.

And so the ultimate power that someone has to really,

cultivate and harness is the power of discipline so that they can adhere when things are not convenient, but also adhere when things are really good. And nobody talks about that because they think of it as a journey. Like once I get there and everything will be good. No, they won't because you're going to stop doing everything that you do and you're going to fall back on your face, which is what's exactly what this person is describing. Is there a silver lining here that this person can look at?

In the sense of having to dig yourself out the hole, well, you got grit.

You got some, you know what I'm saying? You can, you can dig your shit. Listen, man, everybody has problems. Everybody gets low. Everybody gets their ass beat. It's called fucking life. All right. And you have to understand that when you get punched in the fucking face and you're at the bottom, it's probably because you're not controlling what it is you could have been controlling the whole entire time. If you're honest with yourself and you audit yourself and you tell yourself exactly the way it is, you're a realist about it.

you will see that the things that got you to the high point, you are no longer doing. All right? And so you have to do them. And people get really humble when things are bad and they get really full of their ego when things are good. So when they're humble, they're looking around, they're saying, oh shit, fuck, what do I do? I don't know what to do. Shit, this worked for me two years ago. So I'm going to do this again, which is the natural human response. Okay?

But then when they get to the top, because we're stupid fucking humans, we don't realize that we have to continue to do these things that got us going in the right direction in the first place. So,

We're always going to face hardship. We're always going to have things not go our way. But the truth of the matter is, is that you can minimize the dips and keep the progress going by just understanding that we are in control. And it's not up to, you know, the outside circumstances or the conditions or things that might happen, bro. Things happen.

Okay, you're gonna lose a job. You're gonna lose a partner. People are gonna die. You're gonna get sick. Your dog's gonna pass. These are things, this is called fucking life, man. It's not the end of your world and it's not your identity. So as long as you can maintain the things that you are in control of, you will be able to take those hits and continue to move forward. Now, might you flatten out when you go through a hard time? You get sick or, you know, your family gets sick or you deal with something serious. Yeah, you might flatten out. But,

if you continue to control the things by developing discipline and developing the ability to adhere to a program, which is exactly what live hard and 75 hard teach you, you will be able to avoid these big crashes that seem devastating. You see what I'm saying? Absolutely, man. Absolutely. I love it. I love it, man. It's a, it's a, listen, it's just an awareness that we are in control of our outcomes because the things we are in control of produce results.

the majority of our outcomes. So it's very simple if you think about it like that. Most people don't want to take responsibility because it's easier to say this happened or that happened or it's not fair. It's this or that or this. Bro, you guys are all full of shit. You're not fucking doing it. If I went to anybody, any motherfucker on the planet,

And they said, oh, it's not fair. My life sucks, this, that. And I audited their last six months. I fucking promise you, they have not been in control of things they can control. That's reality. And anybody who says different is full of fucking shit. That is a complete fucking lie. I'm not talking about extreme circumstances. There's always nuance. There's always things. Your whole family gets killed in a car crash. Okay, that's fucking...

That's a nuanced thing. That's an asterisk, right? But what I'm saying is, is that in most cases, that's true. You're not doing what the fuck you could be. So you have no right to complain about it.

- Bro, that's so real. To your point though, it's also crazy. Like that reflection only comes when you're down low, man. - Yeah. - It only comes when you're low. - That's 'cause when you're at high, you think you're the shit. - If you're honest with yourself, it's when you're low. I got fire. Well, why'd you back, back pedal it? Let's go back a little bit. - Yeah. - You wasn't doing your shit. - That's right, dude. - Yeah. - That's right. And you thought nobody was noticing and you thought that you could skate by and this and that because you were at one time really good. You know, that happens all the time, bro. Listen.

I cannot tell you how many times I've seen that happen in business where the best performing employee, the best performing business operator,

thought that because they were great at one time, that they had unlimited greatness in front of them. And they stopped sharpening their blade. They stopped improving. They stopped controlling and doing the things they can do. And then they're surprised when their business goes out of business or they fucking lose their job. Bro, no one gives a fuck what you did yesterday. I hate to break this to you. I really do.

The world doesn't care what you did. It only cares what you're doing now. And you don't fucking have to be a rocket science to understand that.

It's just reality. The world does not give a fuck what you did, even if it was yesterday. They care what you're doing now. What result are you producing today? Okay. And that is, that's reality. That's reality. That's how the world judges people. Is it right? I don't know, but that's how it is. I love it, man. I fucking love it. Well, let's get to our first call, guys. We got a first call in here. This is O'Neal. Hello.

DJ, what's going on, man? O'Neal, what's the word, my man? Hey, man. I was waiting here. Call nervous to me. Oh, what you nervous for, man? What's up, O'Neal? How you doing, bro? Oh, Andy, it's an honor and a privilege to speak to you. Ah, bro, it's all good, man. What can we help you with, brother?

Well, I've been listening to you consistently for 10 years. I'm staying up with huge fans. I love the show. Share it with everybody I know. Everybody in my bloodline knows about you. O'Neal ain't no hoe. I love that, bro. I love that, man. Thank you so much.

Oh, thank you for all you do. So real quick, my question is, so I have a commercial cleaning business and we're growing substantially. We started in COVID, really ballsy move, very risky, but we took, we went in, balls deep and went in. And we've been really good at it. That's the only way to go in, isn't it?

You are 100% right on that one. It's unique because not everybody can do that. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, like you, DJ. All right. All right, so what we got, man? Yeah, so I'm doing my cleaning business, you know, fast forward three years in. I lose the majority of my accounts. You know, COVID slows down. Nobody wants cleaning, et cetera, et cetera. So I'm here at the end of my rope.

And I, like you say, zero options mentality, double down. I say I'm not going to quit. My income has doubled consistently for the last three years, which was great from where I started off at. But in the process, I let go of my previous friend group. You had an episode about this recently regarding loyalty to friend groups.

And I took that to the heart. I slowly started to distance myself from my friend group and I literally have like no friends. I'm afraid to lose the momentum that I have currently in order to seek friendship. What's your advice on that?

Okay. Well, first of all, this is completely normal, dude. Every single person who's ever built anything relevant goes through this. Okay. We start out at the beginning with our friend group. How old are you, bro?

I'm 31. DJ and I are around the same age. Yeah, you're older than DJ. You're probably DJ's dad. I think we might have the same dad. So check this out, dude. This is exactly the process of it's totally normal. First of all, I just want you to know this is normal. I've been through it and you're going to go through it multiple times on your journey. Okay. So here's how it happens.

You start out, you have a group of friends and that group of friends is based around usually, you know, you just know them. They grew up in the neighborhood or you went to college or maybe you went to high school or whatever, man. And usually it's just social friends. It's like you drink together, you smoke together, you hang out together, you do fun shit together.

And when you start to get ambition and you want more for yourself, when you first say it, all these guys are like, oh yeah, man, that's awesome. And some will say, well, dude, are you sure? Are you sure you want to do that? And it creates this weird dynamic because you're doing something that all of them aren't doing.

And so what happens is when you start to go down the path, the nature of business is so difficult. It takes so much time that people just don't understand it if they've never done it. So then they start to get negative and they start to say, well, don't forget where you came from. And hey, you know, I think, O'Neal, you know, you're getting a little too big for your britches. And they say stupid ass shit. And it becomes frustrating.

it becomes a drag, okay? And then us as entrepreneurs, we get blamed for it because we're trying to better our lives and we have to remove ourselves from this negativity because we only have so much energy. And what happens is,

The our old friend group, while we still might love them and we still might care about them and we might always be cool with them. Like I am so cool with everybody that I've ever had as a friend in the past, but we might not talk every day. We might not go to dinner. We might not hang out. I still love them.

But I don't have the time or the energy or the will to waste my time because I have big vision, big goals. And that naturally creates this place of isolation and what I call no man's land. And so there's good news here. The good news is, is that it's temporary, okay? So what's gonna happen is,

the more success that you have with your company, you're going to start to meet some of these business owners who, you know, you're doing these cleaning services for, and you're going to have more in common. All right. These guys are hustling. These guys are working. These guys have big goals and your new friend group, uh,

And by the way, this takes time. This doesn't happen in one day. Okay, this could be a year. This could be two years. It depends on how hard you're pressing to move forward.

But you'll find a new friend group that has commonality, shared interests, and understanding of what you're doing. Because think about this. If you go back and, you know, all your friends are talking about what's going on with the sports game, they don't have anything. You don't have anything to talk about with them anymore. So we just kind of grow apart. And, dude, that's part of life.

But you end up with this new friend group who has all these things in common with you. And by the way, because they're on the same mission as you, they don't drag you back, bro. They will actually encourage you. They will teach you things that will connect you. They will push you forward. And it becomes a much more valuable relationship.

and fulfilling experience to be around friends who share the same goals and missions. And the cool thing about these friends is, you know, there's a saying that I like to use is busy people understand busy people. So, you know, they're not getting mad if you don't show up to the dinner and they're not getting mad if you don't text them back. And they're not saying, oh, you know, O'Neal, you're getting too full of yourself, dude. You need to humble yourself. They know that like when we hang, we hang. And if, you know,

We text each other and we don't hear back for a couple of days. It's no big deal. And by the way, I'm gonna stop right here and remind all of you guys that if you are a young entrepreneur and you text someone and they don't text you back and then you hit them with, "Oh, I thought we were still," bro, nobody that's successful deals with that shit. That is peasant behavior, okay?

If someone texts me and then I don't text them back and then they hit me with, oh dude, what if like some kind of guilt trip? I will never talk to them again. They're not my kind of people. So if you're a young guy or young girl, remember that do not fucking do that to the people ahead of you. They will fucking cut you right out. But anyway, when you find this new friend group, they're going to push you forward.

They're not going to drag you back. And if you continue to go down the path and you continue to grow, you're going to go through the same process again. All right. Cause you're going to outgrow that friend group. And then you're going to go back to being in the middle where you feel like you don't really have any friends. And then you're going to find another leveled up friend group who can now associate with you more. So I've done this number of times through my life where the different stages of business,

I had a different circle of friends. And that's just the way it goes, bro. So you have to understand, dude, this is normal. It has nothing to do with you. It's called life. And as we grow, we are going to naturally disconnect with people who don't grow and connect with people who are growing. And bro, let me tell you something that'll help you deal with this. It's not like they couldn't have went with you.

They could have went with you. Okay. So I know that if you listen to my show, I already know that you're probably a really good dude and you probably care a lot. And it probably makes you feel guilty and feel bad that you,

You're moving on from this friend group, but just remember they could have went with you. They could have went down that path and they chose not to. And you have no obligation and you should not feel guilty about taking care of yourself, your family, your future family. If you don't have one and handling business period.

So what do you think bro? That's exactly what I needed to hear. Cause my, my fiance was telling me this for years. She's like, distance yourself from this friend group. They're holding you back. They're holding you back. And,

And, you know, me being a loyal guy, I'm like, no, these are my boys. We've been friends since 14, 15. No, these are my boys. You know, they care about me. And she told me, once you let this friend grow, you will get everything you want in business.

Dude, that's a smart woman. As soon as I distance myself, it's like I was trying to swim with an anchor on my feet. As soon as I distance myself, it's like I was on a speedboat. That's right, bro. She's a very smart woman. It's a good thing you're marrying her. Look, bro.

let me tell you something. Okay. As men, we all handle and feel strongly about being loyal. That's part of being a good man is you're loyal to your friends. You're loyal to your family, but remember dude, they need to be loyal to you too. And they could have went, or at least they could have supported you. I'm friends with a number of people back from the old days who are just very supportive. Maybe they didn't go down the path, but they supported and pushed you.

And here's how you could tell they're not your fucking friends, dude. When they start trying to gaslight you and guilt you because you're no longer loyal and you're no longer, you know, one of the dudes and you forgot where you came from. The motherfuckers ain't your friends, dude. Those dudes will hold you back. They will ruin your life. They will fuck up success. And let me tell you the number one thing that ruins, especially men's business aspirations. It's

Our feeling that we all naturally have of loyalty. It's the code, right? Like we all live by, we all know the code, right? Hey, these are my boys. Like he's saying, these are my boys. I'm loyal to them. Listen, you could still be loyal to them and be moved. You could still show up at 3 a.m. If we got to bury a body, bro. You know what I'm saying? Like, but, but dude,

Don't let them leverage that against you because the number one thing that I've seen really hurt young men, especially because I think men and women are a little different in this way. I don't, I don't think women operate on that same code exactly the same way that we do. We sort of define our, our manhood by like how real we are and how loyal we are. And so that's like always a touch point of sensitivity for men. And yeah,

And, dude, I haven't seen more people ruin their business because they're loyal to the wrong people that either get them in trouble or pull them down or get them involved in some shit. Like, bro, think about this. We see this in sports all the time. We see young men come out of college and still hang with their old dudes when they've got $50 million in the bank. Next thing we know, they're out of the league and they're in jail. So...

dude, you got to let it go, man. It's just reality. And your, your, your fiance is a hundred percent correct. So I should listen to her earlier. That's all right, man. Listen, dude, sometimes it takes, uh, you know, it's, it's like, you know, when you listen to your parents versus listening to you, like your uncle, right? Like you'll listen to your uncle, but in the same shit. Yeah, that's right. That's right. So real quick. I just, I just looked you up on IG, bro.

We could be fucking related, bro. Just listen. Like, bro, just a little bit. Let's see. Real talk. Andy, take a look. Oh, shit. Dude, like, listen, we could. You do kind of look alike. You sure your father's not Dominican? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I'm not sure. Well, Neo, bro, I hope that helps you, man.

Well, yeah, you helped tremendously. I listen every single day. I do appreciate taking the time. Your company is great.

Thank you. Also, your PB&J first home bar is fucking amazing. Thank you, bro. I gained like 10 pounds because of it. Thank you, dude. We're blessed to have really good people that work here. I'm living the dream here with these guys. So they work really hard to do everything that we can do for people. And it's really good to hear that. I appreciate it.

They have a great leader to guide them the same way, the right way. Well, thank you, bro. Do my best. Andy, thank you so much for your time. I appreciate you. DJ, thanks. I'll see you at the family reunion. Thank you, brother. We'll talk to you soon. All right. Take care, guys. All right. See you.

- That's awesome. - Yeah, that was cool. Look dude, that's a hard thing, man. That's a hard thing because you know how it is dude. - It is touchy fussy, dude. - Bro, exactly. - You know, I will say this is a rare thing that's actually happened to me recently. Like one of my friend groups I got, 'cause I don't have many friends, right? But you know- - I'm your friend. - Well, you're my friend. Yeah, for sure. - But that's your friend. - Huh?

No, that's not my friend. Zeeshan's your friend again? Zeeshan's my homie. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? No, but I had a similar situation where it's like, I mean, dude, we're just on different paths, but it was almost like what was understood didn't need to be explained. It wasn't this big like, oh, yeah, call me back. Like, bro, we just kind of, you know? Yeah. And we both just kind of like, we nod to it. You know what I'm saying? Like, I understand. Yeah, it is what it is, man. It's cool. Listen, dude, this is something that, okay, when you're young,

A lot of guys can relate to this with their families, right? Like when you're young and you got all these dude friends and shit,

And then they have, they get a wife and they start to have kids and they don't have the time to hang out and you, you grow a little apart, but that doesn't mean like, dude, I just reconnected with a buddy of mine who I hadn't seen Matt Markway. Okay. Who runs a really fucking awesome business here in St. Louis. They, they build super high end homes and I had him build my duck coop, which that's not something that they do, but he did it because we're friends.

We hadn't talked to each other in like 20 years, bro. And we saw each other and it was just like, it was yesterday, but that's because he's been living his life, bro. He's been doing, and I've been doing my shit. And now that we've done our shit, you know, we're still doing it. But now that we've gotten through the, the, you know, the, the part of like building, you

You know, we're able to hang out, dude. And it's just the way it is, man. It's one of the greatest things that happened to me this last year is reconnecting with him, dude. And see that they did go down the path. Yeah. Just different. But, dude, it's not even that. It's just like...

His kid, like he's got a, he's got a son who's a stud playing football in Nebraska. Um, Mack Markway, like bro, dude, it's just life, man. You know, I didn't see him and I'm like, Hey, why didn't you fucking talk to me for the last 20 years? What the fuck was that about? You're not even real. You don't fucking care about me. Like, dude, give me your best friend. Yeah, dude. So it's just called life, man. And it's hard, especially as an entrepreneur. Um,

because there's jealousy feelings and there's, you know, you start making a little more money, you start driving a little nicer car, you start dealing with a little bit of jealousy from the people, sometimes a lot, you know, and then dude, sometimes those people from the old days will start talking shit and start trying to sabotage you. And dude, you got to get away from them. You know what I'm saying? One of the best things that entrepreneurs can honestly is like move the fuck away from their, from their city. You know what I'm saying? I moved away for eight years and I was able to focus on

And I don't think I would have been able to do that if I stayed here. That's real. Love it, man. Let's keep moving. I got another question for you. Next question. We got a write-in question. This question is question number three. Hi, Andy. My name is Cody.

And I am 25 years old and I started a residential window installation business four years ago now. I've heard you say... 24? 25. 25? Started when I was 21. Cool. Yeah. I've heard you say it's good to find a mentor who has gone through the path I wish to go. As my business continued to grow, I now work very close with my mentor and our businesses continue to grow at a rate I didn't really see possible.

How is it that we can continue to navigate through the storm when both my mentor and I are at stages in the game that we've never seen or never been? We recently got a warehouse and neither of us know anything about running a warehouse. Our spectrum of the game has changed and now we take on much different tasks than before. In that specific case...

Would I just find some sort of a warehouse manager? Like, do I figure it out on my own? Do I reach out to competition? Please help. And thanks for your time.

Well, first of all, bro, different journeys require different guides. Okay. You're not going to learn from somebody who has never done the thing that you're wanting to do. This is why I talk about buying courses and hiring these internet people to teach you how to build a company when they've never built one. All right. They don't fucking know. Now, they might say they know, but they don't. They know how to make a funnel. They know how to make a funnel.

and why, and pretend there's something and then get you to buy it. And it doesn't get you any value. So again, like I say often, make sure that you vet whoever it is that they have actually done the things that you want to do. And in the beginning, you will find people who have done, you know, part of it. And you can learn from those people. Absolutely. And by the way, there's nothing wrong with paying for that. It's a...

if I could pay to save fucking 10 years of my life, I'm fucking paying whatever it costs. That's 10 years. You know what I'm saying? Um,

So when you get to a point where maybe that first mentor you've exhausted, which is, by the way, that's awesome. That's what you want to do. Right. But now it sounds like you both need a new guide for the journey. OK. And so you have to find someone who has done these things before and, you know, can coach you through the process. That's just part of understanding.

understanding that there's levels to it and uh you know the guy that you might be learning from the beginning and sometimes bro the guy that you might be learning from the beginning is so far away from where the fuck you are that like he has a hard time getting back to that because he's forgotten those things or they're so second nature that he forgets that they're relevant you see what i'm saying yeah so what's that saying it's like you forgot more than you know where to go like you

Well, I mean, dude. You know more than you forget. No, no, no. You're talking about, like, I've forgotten more than you'll ever know. Right, right. Yeah, I mean, like...

- That happens. - That does happen. Like you're not gonna have Elon Musk come back and teach you how to fucking make a funnel. You know what I'm saying? Or how to, you know what I'm saying? - Right, right. - So there's that, all right? But here's the other thing, dude. So my first thing is, is that it's smart to use a mentor. It's smart to invest in your education. You just gotta make sure that the person that you're learning from has done the thing that you wanna do.

A lot of people say that I'm like, they will say I'm totally against courses and this and that. No, I'm against liars. I'm against people who fucking make shit up or pretend to be something that they aren't, which is a lot of the internet right now. And it's also very hard to tell if you don't know the questions to ask, but I can tell you, all you got to do is say, what have they built? What have they done? How have they done it? How long have they been doing it? How many customers they've served?

You know, what's their product? Can I order the product? What's it like to use their product, right? Do I recognize it? Do I not recognize it? Have I ever heard of this? You know, all these entrepreneurs on the internet seem to have these secret businesses that no one can see and have never fucking done business with. Oh, I used to have this and I used to have, okay, prove it. Prove that to me, all right? The internet is full of liars and it's very, very important that we understand that. Not everybody has a good heart. There's lots of unethical people.

With that being said, find someone who's doing what you want to do, learn from them, model their behavior, pay them to teach you, and you'll be on the right path. Now, the second part to that is when you scale, because we don't know something doesn't mean that there aren't positions that you can pay someone where they know it very well. So if you were to hire a

experienced warehouse manager, they're going to know what it is that you don't know and do it for you for a fee. So you just have to find the right person that knows these things and you have to vet them and you have to make sure, just like I said about the coaches, you have to make sure they've done it. You have to make sure, you know, you have to call their references, see what they've actually done,

And, you know, our distribution and fulfillment center here, I didn't set that shit up. Mike and fucking Brian set it up, right? So, like, these are guys that had the knowledge that I didn't have. And then they went and built it. And I learned the knowledge as we went. You see what I'm saying? How important is that to you, though? I think it's very important. You still need to know a little bit about it. Anytime I've ever not learned enough knowledge,

I've gotten to take advantage of. So you have to, you know, know enough to not get and take advantage of. So, and that's easier than ever, right? There's lots of information available for free about literally fucking anything. Go on YouTube and see a video on how to do fucking anything. I can do open heart surgery, bro. Dude, I'm just telling you. Yeah, you can learn. Well, you can learn enough about it to where you can have an intelligent conversation. Right. Right. So there are no secrets like that anymore.

because everybody's making content. There's much more information available. The point is find someone who's done it before. I could answer this in one fucking sentence. Find someone who's done it before, pay them money to either do it for you or teach you how to do it. That's what it comes down to. Yeah, it's very simple. I love it, man. Just because it's a complex problem to you doesn't mean it's a complex problem.

You see what I'm saying? Like if I were to say, hey, I need to code, well, I do know how to code now, but if I were to say, I need to code a fucking basic funnel website,

Three months ago, I wouldn't know how to do that. It would be mystical to me. But fucking anybody who knew the shit could do it in a fucking hour. Wouldn't you say, too, there's an energy component to that, too? Like, is it worth your energy actually doing it? Yes, absolutely. That's another thing. You have to understand where your energy makes the most sense. We call that working on the business versus working in the business. Okay? So...

He's growing to a point with his window company, right? Residential window installation. To where he's not understanding about warehousing and things like that.

You want to know enough, but you want to focus on the growth of the business, the running of the employees, the big picture thing. And you want to hire professionals to handle those things for you. And you might not be able to afford it. So you might have to do it for a while. Like when I first started in my warehouse, dude, I was packing boxes. Me and Sal, Chris, Jason, we went out there every day at four o'clock and packed fucking boxes. There was a time at first form for years where it was me, Sal, Jason, Will, Aaron, and a couple other dudes in the back packing boxes at four o'clock every fucking day.

Okay. And then with the warehouse guys, because we, we fucking, that's what we did. And I go funny enough. Those were some of my favorite days of business. But simple problem to solve, dude really is. And just because it's mystical to you, let me tell you something, dude, I fucked my whole timeline up by not learning this lesson. This one lesson will save you years. Okay. I didn't know my second store until we were six years in. And you know why?

'cause I kept telling myself, they're gonna steal from me. How do I get someone to work for me?

you know, they're probably going to do this and that and this. And guess what? They did all that shit. They fucking stole. They fucking fucked my shit up. You know, not them specifically, but along the way that happens. It's going to happen. Yeah. So like these fears are irrational. Unavoidables. Yes. And dude, had I just opened it the third year we were in, we'd be that much more ahead. But I'd lost three years of my life asking myself and struggling with the same question that he is. The Lord. Yeah. Three years of my life.

That one, the answer to that question that I just gave is worth three fucking years of my life. That's what it took me to learn it. So what's that worth? Yeah. What's three years of your life worth? You know what I'm saying? That's real, man. That's fucking real, man. Well, guys, we got one more question. We got calling. Oh, we do? All right. So let's give, I hope I pronounce this right. Amira. Amira. Amira. Amira. We'll hear it. Yeah, we'll figure it out. Let's give her a call. I'll let you do the awkward part of figuring it out. Yeah, go ahead.

Oh my God. Hey, Andy. Nope, not Andy. It's DJ. It's DJ. Andy, can you hear me? I'm in my car. I got the car play on. We can hear you just fine. Can you hear us okay? Awesome. All right, so me and Andy made a bet. I'm trying to pronounce your name correctly. Amira? No. Damn it. You already lost. Amira? Yes, it's Amira. Hey! What the fuck?

I dare you guys to try to pronounce the last name. I don't know if I should even share that. I don't even think it's there. It's fine. So what's going on? How are you? I'm good. I'm even better talking to y'all. This is so nice. I love the new format. Oh, thank you. Yeah.

So I don't want to eat up too much of your time. I appreciate you reaching out and answering my question. That's awesome. My big thing is I feel I'm very mature for my age. I'm 21. I've lived a lot of life. I live on my own. I've already graduated college.

I'm working full time. I'm doing acting. But my thing is, and I've seen you talk about this on the show before, you know, I don't even have the Instagram up on my phone. I hate social media, but I have to have it for what I'm doing and what I'm trying to do. Um,

The thing is, it's like there's so much, you know, excuse my language, BS and noise and people lying and, you know, inflating themselves. And I try to not let it get to me, but it's things like people will act like they're on some huge debt, for instance, and they're just a background person, but they're going to act like they're next to Kevin Hart. Like things like this happen all the time. So I guess my question for you is, because I'm sure you probably have had similar experiences in business coming up, like how

How were you able to like get rid of that energy and just focus your attention and keep going? It's funny that you say that. Amira, we were literally just talking about this in the last question before we called you. It's so weird that this connected like that. So,

First of all, I get it. I cannot stand these fake motherfuckers on the internet, bro, that all pretend like they built shit or did shit, selling all these young people bullshit dreams and things they didn't do and taking their money. Yeah.

It's highly unethical to me because like, look, man, these young people are paying you sometimes their last amount of money to learn some real shit that they don't even intend on teaching. They just want to take the money and they do it through deceptive marketing. And I wouldn't even call it that just straight up lying. So I get it, dude. And it frustrates the fuck out of me. And then I see,

you know, so many of these dudes just, dude, I, I totally get it. All right. Here's the answer. Focus on your own shit. All right. These people, I've been doing this so long. The people who were lying and faking and, and pretending they're gone. I've seen them come and go and come and go and come and go 20 times over the last 20 years. So I,

we are gonna deal with these kind of people along the way who are gonna pretend, they're gonna hype themselves, they're gonna lie, they're gonna cheat, they're gonna pretend like things are better than they are, which by the way is the entire internet, everybody pretends like they're living this highlight reel. And then as we're struggling to do what it is that we do, we are feeling bad about ourselves. We're like, oh, we're not doing it as big as they are when we know they're full of shit.

All right, so- Still gets us though. Yeah, but it does, dude. It burns you. You're like, fuck this guy. So here's the reality, man. Those people come and go and the people who actually become something in reality, they focus on their own craft. They focus on their own skillset. Every time they see something like this, they just dismiss it as-

It's bullshit. And I'll tell you what I do. What I do is when I see shit like that and it makes me mad, I do something immediately that's going to move me more towards becoming the real deal. Okay. Not the fucking internet deal. And so, look, the answer is very simple and it's hard to,

That's a hard discipline to learn because we all care a lot about, you know, you're trying to become the best actress. You're, you know, I'm, I'm assuming that you're not trying to be, you know, D roll commercials for fucking local car dealers, right? Like you're trying to be like, you're trying to become a real deal actress. And that requires you to practice, to focus, to learn your craft and,

And so when you see people doing this, I would learn to transition immediately. Like you start feeling upset and feeling frustrated. I would learn to transition immediately to positive action. Okay. And what we call, this is called a production pivot. All right. I was just going to say that. I literally was going to say that. Yeah. That's what it's called. Okay. So we take in negativity.

And then we say, fuck this. And then we do something positive. Somebody hates on you. They talk some shit on you. They make you feel a certain way. You immediately use that as a mental signal to go do something. Practice your craft. Read. Get in front of the mirror. Recite some lines. Talk to your acting coach. Talk to your voice coach. Work on your shit. If you play an instrument, you go practice. So, dude, if we can harness...

the negativity and pull it in and then put it out in productive action.

that's a recipe for not just success, but honestly dominance because there's so much negativity out there. You know, we are going to be faced as ambitious people with much more negativity than we are with support. People aren't going to believe they're going to doubt. They're going to put things in our head. They're going to say things to us that upset us. And if we don't learn to use the frustration and the doubt and the negativity to

as a trigger to then go practice, it's very hard to get where you're wanting to go. And I know there's a lot of people online that say, "Prove yourself right. Don't worry about proving them wrong." Those people are usually fucking called losers. Okay? I'm just being honest. Very few people can actually do this without harnessing the majority of the energy that's out there, which is negative. So we have to be willing to see it for what it is, bullshit.

take it in, put it out into action, and then we get better from it. Does that make sense? Awesome. That's good stuff. Yeah, it makes total sense. All right. Yeah, good stuff. Yeah. Okay. Fuck those people, dude. Yeah, and you know, I got it. Yeah. No, that, you know, the one that drives me nuts are these influencers, man. Oh, my Lord. I know. Don't get me started about the influencers. I know. Oh, my God.

I won't say anything about that, but yeah, no, that's good stuff, Andy. I appreciate it. All right. Amira, thank you so much for supporting the show. And it's a pleasure to talk to you. Just keep your goals clear. Keep your actions clear. Spend your emotional energy on getting better and, you know, learn that discipline of taking that negativity and putting in a positive action. You're going to be just fine.

Wonderful. Well, thank you so much, Andy. It was a pleasure talking with you. I'm so excited. I can't believe that. I love this new format. I've been listening to you since COVID, and you've honestly changed my life. I appreciate you both. Listen, we appreciate you. Thank you so much for all the support. Of course, of course. Y'all have a great day. You too, Amira. You too. Thank you. Bye, Andy. Bye, DJ.

So dude, that is something that anybody who is ambitious is especially, I mean, dude, we all deal with this in different ways. - I don't even know if it's just a bit, like I've learned to look at social media a little bit in a different lens just from the, like I feel like there's two-- - You know it's fake. - There's two groups of people. There's either like the over polished, they're showing you what they want you to see,

Right? Or you got the victim crowd that's going to cry on every post. Yeah, because that's the only way they can get attention. That's it. That's it. You know what I'm saying? So that's how I've learned to look at it. Yeah, but then there's the third people. Who's the third people? Like the third people who take five years off of social media and build a fucking empire. You know what I'm saying? Oh, I like seeing that shit. That's what I'm saying. And dude, here's the thing. You know, like...

You don't think that when I was taking time off social media, I didn't see a lot of these other entrepreneurs starting to catch up on social. You don't think I saw their fake engagement. You don't think I saw them posturing like they were bigger than they are. You don't think I saw that every time I fucking saw it. I'm like, dude, fuck that. And I went to fucking work.

Now we got all these different massive things happening and that's evidence. My own story is evidence of that. If you've been following me since 2012 when I started, you guys saw me grow the first phase of our business. When I stopped in 2019 to now, it's flat. We're in the, we're probably in the fourth phase. Okay. And,

Every time I saw one of these motherfuckers doing their bullshit, like fuck that guy. And I went and did something. And that's how things are produced. So we have to learn. We have to like like people say this in a different way, which I don't agree with. They say don't comparison is the thief of joy. No, actually, you should get pissed off about the comparison and take that energy and go fucking use it.

You know, like when I see motherfuckers doing better than me that I don't think deserve it. Quote unquote doing better. That's right. I'm like, dude, this dude couldn't hold my nuts in real world. You know what I'm saying? And I fucking go do the thing. The point is to do the thing, not pretend like you're doing a thing.

You know what I'm saying? And there's very few of us doing the thing in this world as opposed to just talking about doing the thing. So I would rather be doing the thing. And I think Amira would too. And I think all of you guys would as well. So don't get caught up in the illusion of social media because, you know, and there is some, there is some, there's a lot of value in building a tremendous social media presence, right?

But you need to leverage that into real business, not just, you don't want likes and shares and comments for the sake of having them. You want to be able to leverage them. And like, dude, if we're being real, there's influencer fatigue. You know, people like the game has changed, dude. There's a big difference between attention and influence. Attention is post every day,

use this hook, do this thing, fucking, and there's nothing wrong with that if you could leverage it into a business, but don't do it for the sake of doing it, okay? You want impact, you want depth, you don't just want width, and you wanna be able to leverage it right. So being an influencer for the sake of being an influencer,

is a cycle that people get into and they can't get out of because now they're earning all their money from brands and they're doing the same content as everybody else. And then the brands don't want to work with them because they got their profiles fatigued. They can't reinvent themselves. And it happened, dude, they start getting this, they get into like the cycle they can't break out of. And dude, you don't want to be that. You want to be somebody who is doing real things in real life

and building your attention from inward to outward, not outward to inward. You know what I'm saying? Like, meaning like you built something, you did something, that's why you're getting the attention versus getting the attention and then trying to harness it. You could do it both ways, but most people have a very hard time of getting the attention and harnessing it. But if you build a thing and then...

That's influence because the fucking receipts are there. That's real, man. That's real. Well, guys. Andy, that's a hell of a way to start a Monday. Yeah, guys. Hey, thanks for all the support. Don't be a hoe. Show the show.

Went from sleeping on the floor, now my jewelry box froze Fuck a bowl, fuck a stove, counted millions in the cold Bad bitch, booty swole, got her on bankroll Can't fold, that's a no, headshot, case closed