882. Q&AF: Finding Like Minded People, Success Without Shame & Overcoming Paralyzing Fear
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What is up guys? It's Andy Purcell and this is the show for the realest. Say goodbye to lies, fakeness, and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality.

That's what we're doing. All right. It is what it is. Fuck you, Medot. No, you can't add more. You're going to ruin the show. Sorry. All right. Anyway, today...

We have Q and AF. That's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers. All right? You can submit your questions a couple different ways. The first way is? Guys, email these questions into askandy at andyfrasella.com. Or you go on YouTube in the comments section, ask your question in the comments. Or if you want to call in on the show, go to the link right underneath the YouTube video, click that link, fill out your question, and you can talk to us live on the show. Maybe. Maybe. If you don't ask some dumb shit. Maybe.

All right, but that's how we do it now if you're new which we're getting a lot of new people right now welcome This isn't the only format of the show. We have shows within the show. All right, we have today we have Q&A of tomorrow We have CTI stands for Cruz the internet. That means we're gonna put topics on the screen We're gonna speculate on what's true What's not true and then we're gonna talk about how we the people have to solve these problems going on in the world It's half comedy half real stuff and

All smoke. All right. Then we got real talk, which is 100% all smoke. And then we have 75 hard versus. 75 hard versus where somebody who has completed the 75 hard program comes on the show and

We talk about how they were a dumpy turd and how they used the 75 Hard program to not be so dumpy. All right? They get their stuff together. You get the whole 75 Hard Live Hard program at episode 208. If you're unfamiliar with Live Hard, it is the entire year-long mental toughness program. It is the most popular mental toughness program ever in history, and it's free. You can get the whole thing at episode 208.

All right. There's also a book available. The book is called The Book on Mental Toughness. You can get that at andyfersella.com. And I also have a big, big drop coming on, I don't know, we'll say right around July 4th. Just right around there. So if you know, you know. All right. Now...

We don't run ads on the show. Now I know some people in YouTube that are not very smart say, well, YouTube runs ads in your show. No shit. I can't help that. We don't run ads on the show. I don't pick up products and say, Hey, 14 times a show. Okay. We finance the show ourselves. I don't want to answer to anybody. So

I ask very simply to help us share the show. All right? We put a lot of time, a lot of effort, a lot of money into delivering these messages, and we would like your help sharing the show. So we got a little thing that we say here that goes like this. Don't be a hoe. Share the show. So let's do what we got to do here, man. You know, we make people better on Mondays. I look better today. Huh? I got better today. I got to drive a pretty sweet car. Yeah? Like 10 feet. Yeah. That's all I trust you to drive it.

Dude, that fucking car is sick. You didn't wreck it, did you? Fuck no. Come on, man. Come on. I can drive. Yeah. But fuck, that thing is like... It was like DJ Go. Like, that's what it was saying. Oh, yeah. Like, I started it up. It was like, let's go. Yeah. That's what it says. Fuck. Yeah. It's a GT Black Series. Dude, it's so sick. The AMG GT Black Series. It's so sick. It's so sick. Dude, I love that car too, man. Yeah. Dude, I was holding a brake more than that. I've almost sold it. I've almost sold it a couple times and traded in for the new 3RS. But...

I think it's, I don't know, man. Like, I like it better. Dude, it's nasty. Yeah. That's a beast. Yeah. That is a beast. But yeah, man, let's get to making some other people better today. We got some good ones for you guys, as always. We starting off with a call in or a write in? We'll do a call first, man. I got my man Jeremy waiting. So let's give Jeremy a call. Hello? Jeremy, what's up, dude? Hey, how's it going? What's going on, man?

What's up Jeremy, how you doing bro? Doing good, doing good. We're getting some cars ready for the local car show tonight. Where at?

We're in Oregon, Fio, a little tiny town. There we go. They shut down the main street. Yeah, so I ain't got nothing cool like you, but I got some old Chevy Blazer and a C10 that I'm taking down there. Bro, that's cool. I don't know what you're talking about. Yeah. So what else could we do? Yeah, no. Go ahead. Oh, go ahead. I was going to say, yeah, I'll just –

I enjoy seeing your cars. That's just a inspiration for me. I'm definitely into the cars and the motivation that way. It definitely helps. Yeah. You know, a lot of people don't realize how motivational and aspirational cars are for people that love them, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Sweet, man. So I guess my, uh,

My struggles per se would be in the making relationships with like-minded people on the same, same path or even just finding those people. I grew up and kind of came really independent early on. Grew up with divorced parents and my dad was not a great role model. So yeah,

Throughout that, I had to kind of grow up young and got really hard to trust people and to, you know, give people the chance, you know, and then getting kind of burned a few times and it just made it harder. And so I guess looking for input that way.

Alright, so it's real simple. That's called fucking life, bro. Like, you know, I grew up the same way, dude. Like, my parents been divorced since I was five years old. I've been fucked over by every single motherfucker I've ever met in my life with the exception of like 10, okay? The world sucks most of the time. That's why it's important that we have to live to a high standard. And here's the thing.

You don't need anybody to trust or believe in you or support you to do what it is you're wanting to do. And the quicker that you build yourself into a person who is doing things, the quicker you're going to find other people that are aligned with that, right? Nobody that's actually doing things out there at a high level wants to waste their energy or time with someone who's not. So,

This is a common struggle with a lot of people who are trying to level up their networks. And when you're trying to level up your networks, it's important that it's very clear that

You may not have the result, but you're doing everything you can to live at that standard. You know, behave like them, act like them, be ambitious, be somebody who attacks, be somebody who's aggressive, be somebody who is looking to provide value to the people around them, not just take value. And

Those efforts are recognized by friend circles and peer circles that we would say are more down the road of the success journey that you might be right now. So I'm not saying you have to go out and produce the result. That always helps. What I've found, and I've had this happen to me many times, is that people who were above me

in the success journey, we're able to recognize that, man, this guy's hustling, he's doing everything he can, he's working hard, he cares. Let me see how I can help this kid out. And, you know, I've had a number of those people along the way, you know, come in and then, you know, out of my life as I outgrew those people. So we have to understand, dude, that like very few friendships are permanent. Many of them serve a point of,

in our lives and then when they no longer serve either party people grow apart. This happens in friendships, this happens in relationships. That's a normal part of life. A lot of people are wired to think about what they can get not what they can give and those people never win long term.

And I know that it's difficult and I know it feels lonely, but the reason it feels lonely is because it's rare. And you have ambition, you have drive, you have the want and the will to do bigger things. And not everybody has that, man. So when you have that, it's going to make you feel like you're alone. It's going to make you feel like you're the only one, but you're not the only one. There's lots of people like that. And the quickest way for you to

become surrounded by that you know is basically twofold one make sure that you're putting the effort in uh and living the lifestyle of a person that would be at that level and two make an intentional effort to be around those people you know this is one of the reasons that arete is such a successful program for entrepreneurs

is because people have a hard time connecting with other people that are ambitious, have drive, have focus, don't want to live the average Joe life.

And so they join groups, you know, and there's other ones too. This isn't a pitch for RTA. It makes no difference to me. Um, but they join these groups intentionally so that they can be surrounded by people like that. But I will tell you that even in those groups where people pay to be a part, you are still going to have people that want to take, you're still going to have people who are there for them not to contribute. And so you just have to have, you have to develop more of a filter for

for understanding what someone's real actual motivation is, uh, very quickly. And that will reduce the amount of heartbreak that you have, you know, cause when you're a good person and you give people the benefit of the doubt and then they end up burning you, you know, and that happens dozens of times, man, it does start to wear you out, you know? And, uh,

I've struggled with this myself because like dude, I try to help everybody around me. I try to help everybody be successful I tend to take everybody's problems and put them on my fucking back which is very difficult and uh, it's why I think i'm a i'm a i've been an effective leader I won't even say a good leader because I'm in i'm in the process of becoming a better leader every single day but uh

you know bro it's just a hard thing and you know good comes with the bad so when you have this want and this will and this desire to help people and you put their problems on your back to fix a lot of times those people won't reciprocate and that's just reality so we have to become more finely tuned but here's what i'll say out of all the times that i've been over

There's been way more times where I've developed great relationships and done good things and had great times and built, you know, good friendships. And it's worth being that way. It's worth being that way even with the times you're going to get fucked with. So, bro, I just, you know, you got to understand the nature of the world. You know, the world isn't what we want it to be. It's what it is. And we have to realize that being a good person is,

trying to contribute, trying to do the right thing is not always reciprocated, man. And that's just called fucking human nature. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, I think, I mean, that's, I mean, I've been listening to you for five years now, buddy of mine turned me on to you and it really validated a lot of honestly how I felt for a long time, but, you know, just feeling kind of like held down, you know, from people around me in a sense. And since then, you know, I have had a big change and I, you know, during COVID I left my job that I was at, I was tired of getting told to put a mask on and got my construction license and just been doing my own thing. And,

It's been good but it's been very challenging because I feel like it's you know the higher standards you start putting yourself to the more like it seems like you have a target on your back because everyone's like now all you think you're better than us or this or that and the other and honestly been doing it mostly in family and well. Well brother you are better just own it like the quickest way to get over that shit is when they say

Oh, you think you're better? Just fucking be like, yeah. Yeah. Like that's, that's what I do. Yeah. And then I, and then I don't deal with the shit anymore because they can't say it again. And whether I believe it or not, they perceive me to think that I'm better. And no matter what I say, no matter how I argue, no matter how I try to convey to them, like, Hey motherfucker, I don't think I'm better than you. I've just chosen a different path.

I will just say yeah, because I don't want to waste the time. You know, yes, you're correct. Because I know from my experience that there is no convincing them otherwise. And that is not a problem with you, bro. That's a problem with them, their own limitations, their own regrets about how they gave up on themselves. And we have to accept that. And I know it's frustrating, but...

But, bro, that shit is only going to get worse and worse and worse. And then once you cross a certain line, once you cross over into, like, undeniable success, those same people are going to be saying, man, dude, I knew Jeremy when he was just a young buck and he was getting it started. And I always believed in him, right? And, like, you're going to fucking laugh and roll your eyes. And, you know, it's all going to come full circle, bro. Like, you just can't. You can't.

Let that weigh you down, dude. Like, look, you know, I see this problem all the time, man. I see all these people who let...

People who are close to them or even random strangers on the internet who aren't doing shit who are sitting at home with their fucking Cheeto fingers, you know eating their hot pockets in the basement They've never built anything You know they the fucking only thing they've ever built is a good set of man titties like these motherfuckers are losers dude and they're always gonna be and It's unfortunate and I hate to say it that way But it's just the truth

And winners don't like losers and losers don't like winners. That's just the nature. That's the nature of human beings. All right. So you're on the path. Go ahead. Well, I was going to say like, honestly, I mean, correct. I mean, we've been having some just ridiculous family stuff going on and, and it's like the,

Nobody will be accountable for the truth. Like your choices you make, the actions you do, you know, the choices, like you literally choose to make your own truth. And so many people just won't even accept their own choices and truth. And then it's like, you're the bad guy. Yeah, no shit. But that's because you did and they didn't. And that's always going to be the case, bro. If you want to be like them, fuck.

fucking go hang out with them and listen to their shit because that's what the fuck they want. Because then you're not a reminder every single day, every single time they got to think about somebody from their family who's actually doing something. It reminds them that they haven't done shit with their life, bro. And you're exactly right.

The result of one's life is a choice, whether it's a voluntary choice or involuntary choice. Most people think that the only time that life is a result of their actions is when they do the right things and they fail to recognize that the passive choices they make when they're not engaged in trying to be better,

they create the opposite result. And so you are correct. They do choose it, but they will never admit that bro. And you will spend your entire life trying to get those people to see it and they will never see it. So my advice to you brother is to understand you are on a different fucking path. They will never get it. They will never clap. They will never cheer until it's so undeniable that you are winning and

And then they'll come back around. But they'll only come back around because they think they can get something from you. Okay? Or they think they can, like, get clout by saying, oh, yeah, Jeremy's my homie. That's my nephew. Right. Exactly. So, like, bro, listen. Just because someone's related to you doesn't make them your people. And that's the point. All right? Right. That fucking sucks. Like, I know it sucks, bro. It hurts. It's not fun. But it's reality.

Yeah. No, I got told I was a horrible person and that my kids were going to hate me and all this stuff. Literally yesterday, I had to kick my mother-in-law and her husband out of my house because they were just completely disrespecting my wife and tearing her down. Well, good.

seeing what she was, you know, what was happening to my wife. I was like, you need, you need to leave. Like, I'm not, I'm not going to sit here and let this happen, you know? And then of course it's just like, you're such a horrible person. Hey, that's the right fucking thing to do, bro. You don't want that negative influence around your kids. You don't need to hear it. Your kids are not going to fucking hate you. They're going to be proud of you for doing what's required. As long as you explain to them along the way, like, Hey guys, I'm doing this because of this and this and this. And yes, I might,

miss i might miss baseball one time i might miss soccer one time but i'm trying to create a life so that you guys can have you know can play soccer and you know like these as long as you explain it along the way they're gonna fucking respect you for it and good for you for being man enough to kick those motherfuckers out of your house bro because most people will just eat it

Oh, man, it was, yeah. I mean, between trying not to explode and just become part of the problem and just like, no, we're just not doing this, you know. There you go.

Yeah, but you know being a dad, that's tough. Listen that's the toughest path you've ever taken your life is being an entrepreneur and I'm sure being a dad on top of it makes it even that harder so it's gonna be tough that's it. No it's tough but it's so rewarding you know I mean I always tell people like

you know, like for me, like we've got friends that, you know, I've turned them on to listening to you and, you know, got them going to church and stuff that just, you know, bettering their lives and watching, watching things change. And it's, it's awesome. And then it's just like, when you get the people to come and they just want to kick you all, you know, all they can and try to make life hell. And it's just like,

I don't have time for that. That's right. You know, you don't when it's family and trying to explain that, you know, it's like my kids understand, like we're, I told my wife, the only thing we can do is just give them as much of the truth as, as we can really give them without, you know, making it more than it needs to be to them. Right. But you know, they're, they're pretty receptive. I mean, our kids, well, that's my middle daughter's birthday today. She just turned eight today. So we're celebrating that too. But yeah, no, it's, uh,

You know I always told people like not really having the parents you know that I would have hoped when I grew up but trying to be that person now and... That's your job. Your job is to give them the life that you didn't have that you needed.

Okay? Not... There's not a motherfucker in this room that grew up with a fucking perfect family. Sitting in... I'm sitting with five other guys. Yeah. I could tell you a fucking story about every single one of them and myself and probably 98% of the people that work in this building. So, don't fucking feel sorry for yourself. That white picket fence... No, no. Listen to me. That white picket fence fucking perfect family shit, that's a lie. Very few people have it. Yeah. So, you can't say, oh, well...

I had didn't have this or that. Yeah. You and everybody else, bro. Like it's, you know, like it's your, you have an opportunity to fucking do the right thing. You learn your lesson. It's like what they say about people who, you know, are close to like a drug addict. Like I got a, I got a cousin, a distant cousin who his dad is a fucking alcoholic and he's never drank before. And you know, it's like they say, like,

When you have an example, you choose to be like them or against them. That's right. And you're choosing the right path, man. And you should be proud of that.

Yeah. No, and I, you know, I think honestly talking to you, I mean, super thankful to get to talk to you. It's kind of helps validate your feelings when you feel like you're just fighting against the world that you don't have many people sitting behind you at this time, you know, cause I'm early on into all this and, and being that we're obviously on a different path than most of our family. And it's just, like you said, it feels lonely at times and, you know, getting to talk to like, I've looked up to you, like as a mentor, you know, it's like,

I told my wife I was like you know Angie and DJ are doing a call ins now and she's like oh my gosh I don't think I could ever do that and I was like well I sent in a question. It's just awesome you know like I said I really appreciate it like it helps understand that I'm you know if I'm not just losing my mind you know like why is this so hard you know. You're not bro you're not you're on the right path brother for real.

Yeah. And that, you know, that's just one of the, like you get people and they, Oh, you know, you just, you think you're better than us or you're this or that. And it's like, well, I have, I've put in a lot of work to do what I've got, you know, I'm 32 and this is our fourth house. We've got 43 acres and cows and horses and, you know, giving our kids everything we can give them, you know? And it's like,

why can't you be happy for us you know well because they're not happy for themselves bro that's all it is right yeah no nothing you know like I said I can't do the validation thing I've been listening to you and you hear it you know and it's like ah but then you know it's like crazy in the same sense to even just be talking to you it's like I feel like you know we're worlds away there's no way I'm ever going to talk to Andy but like this I mean it's awesome listen man I listen I appreciate you calling in dude you know

I'm just another dude out here trying to do it too. So I'm a little further down the road. I'm just trying to help you younger guys figure it out. I've been through all the shit you're talking about and I'm telling you, bro, I understand and I understand that it sucks, but I promise you it's fucking worth it.

Yeah. All right. And I appreciate, you know, I appreciate that. And, you know, I hope to keep, hopefully I can pass it on to the next generation and keep bettering others and myself, you know. You should be everybody's boy, I hope. You're already doing that. You're already doing that. Okay? You got to remember that. You're already doing that. So keep doing it. I appreciate it. All right, bro. I appreciate it. All right, Jeremy. We'll see you, brother. Appreciate you. Yeah. Thank you, guys. You're welcome, bro. Thank you.

Have a good one. You too. I love that, dude. Yeah. I mean, look, dude, that's a common trait that like, it's a common problem that anybody that chooses a different path outside the norm is going to deal with, which is most people. Yeah, of course, bro. Like, no, most people just choose to do like everybody else. And anytime you choose differently, you're going to get that shit. Like that's just normal. And the other thing, like you guys listening, you know,

I hear this all the time, man. My parents got divorced or my dad was this or my mom was this or this or that. Yeah, bro. Like fucking everybody. Most people. Yeah. Like, fuck, dude. Everybody's got shit. Like, what are you going to do to correct? So like your kids and other people don't have the same shit. Like, you know, you're not thought about too, bro. Cause like, you know, I look at it this way too. Hold on. By the way, that shit is the reason that you're on the path you're on. Mm hmm.

Like, it's nobody... I've never met someone who's self-made that comes from a cush situation. The reason that they are fucking doing what they do is because they've had to crawl out of fucking darkness in some way, shape, or form. It might not be the same as yours, but there's something there that they had to fucking crawl the fuck out of.

And they hated it so fucking much that they were willing to do anything to get as far away from it as possible. And that's just... So we can't sit here and look at people who have these cush upbringings and all these advantages and all this shit.

shit and say oh well they got lucky no motherfucker you got lucky because those motherfuckers never had to learn how to fight they never had to learn how to crawl through the shit they never had to learn how to fucking take blows and get the fuck back up you did and that's an advantage you got lucky they didn't get fucking lucky like dude that's real bro it is real and it's it is real and dude people think like oh man that guy had everything he got no dude he's handicapped for life now

You learned all these skills. You learned all these character traits. You built all this shit inside of you, this grit, this fortitude, all the things that make people successful you had to have. They didn't. And that's a huge advantage. When you meet someone like that in the battlefield, bro, you fucking destroy them because they don't have those skills. They never had to develop them. Yeah.

I look at it like this, too. It's like, you know, all the negative shit people will say when you're trying to go down that path and do good shit, just wait to hear what they say when you don't do shit with your life. Yeah. See what they say then. Yeah. That's right. You know what I'm saying? That's right. You'll be 40 years old. You ain't did shit. Yeah, that's right, bro. They're going to talk shit on that, too. And more importantly, what are you going to think at 40 years old? Right. If you don't do shit and you're going to think, God, dude, I listened to all these fucking losers and now look what I got to show for it.

It's real shit. Yeah, that's real, man. Guys, let's get our next question. This is a write-in question. Let's talk about it, guys. Andy, question number two. Andy, even when I achieve something,

I instantly look for the next mountain. I dismiss compliments, downplay success, and hold myself to standards I'd never apply to anyone else. I don't know if I was raised this way or just became this way, but I want to feel pride without shame. How do I allow myself to be proud without feeling like I'm being arrogant or weak? What do you mean? A little gratitude, I guess. I don't understand. You did the work. You built the shit.

Be proud of it. What are you talking about? It's very fucking simple. Why the fuck do you give a shit what that person over there thinks about what you did? Were they there when you were grinding it out? Were they there when you were... You know, everybody likes to talk about how lucky someone got. You know, like I just said a minute ago, that's the wrong perspective. None of these motherfuckers that ever criticized me spent a day in the fucking store with me my entire life. I spent...

Fucking years. None of them ever came and helped me do anything. None of them were there when I was struggling. None of them were there when I wanted to kill myself because shit was so hard. None of them. So I don't fucking care what they think about me driving a fucking Bugatti to work or my other one to work. I don't fucking care.

I don't care. Yeah, bro. I don't care. You weren't there during the hard times. You have nothing to say to me that can take me away or make me feel less proud of what I've done. I've changed... Fuck, dude. I don't even know how many lives with 75 Hard and what we do with our companies. And...

I have things to be proud of and no one could take that from me. No one's gonna shame me out of it. No one's gonna make me feel bad about it. I did what they chose not to do. They could have came and done something similar with me. They didn't. So I don't give a shit. And you need to get a little more of that energy, bro. Were they there to help you do any of this? Were they there to help you pull through the mud? Were they there to, you know, console you when you didn't have anybody? Clearly not.

So why do you care what they say now that you're doing better? I don't. Yeah, for sure. I mean, well, I mean, you also talk about this too. It's like, because I feel like there's a little nuance in the sense of like, I guess just being hard on yourself, not allowing yourself to be proud of the shit that you did. You know what I'm saying? When you're always moving that goalpost, setting the next fucking, that milestone that you're reaching and when your goals are so fucking big, how do you make sure that like to be proud in those moments when you do get those wins?

Well, I mean, dude, you have to acknowledge how far you came. Yeah. I mean, you said it, it's gratitude. You take inventory. Look, man, it's, you can take inventory and acknowledge how far you've come and still be hungry for much more, you know? Like, and that's why you want to take a dedicated amount of time to like every day to say, Hey man, you know, this is a tough day and do what I want to do. But look, I've come pretty far so far, you know? And, and,

Yeah, it's very simple, man. People get caught up in fucking spending too much time in that reflection zone. You know what I'm saying? All the shit that they did. Do you see that? Yeah, man, because that's like the victim therapy culture we deal with now. You know, they got all this shit pumping out in everybody's brain telling them they're broken and they need therapy and they have trauma and they fucking need to journal seven hours a day and have this morning routine and do all this shit.

And like it makes everybody think they're fucked up, you know, like when you're an entrepreneur and you're trying to build shit, it's just fucking hard. Yeah. And you know what? You kind of have to be fucked up to be any good at it.

You know what I mean? You kind of have to have something to prove. You kind of have to be a little insecure. You kind of have to have those things. Those are the fuels that drive people, okay? And the reality is the world benefits from that. So how can you say that's bad? You know what I mean? Like we have to... People are eating because of that. Yes, we have to understand that the shit that's written for everybody else is not written for entrepreneurs. All these things, you know, the mental health and this and that and fucking this...

Bro, that's written for people who they don't have the fucking darkness and they don't know how to fucking leverage it to be better. You know, they're feeling sorry for themselves. They're making excuses. They know they haven't done what they're supposed to do, but then they make, you know, some sort of justification or philosophy that is really just a, you know, I didn't do it excuse dressed up in a nice outfit, you know, in a comfy little bed and some frills and shit. Like it's...

It's bullshit, okay? Like, motherfucker, entrepreneurship and building success is hard as fuck. It's hard. It's hard.

It's never gonna be easy. You're always gonna feel like you're fucked up. You're always gonna feel like you're behind. You're always gonna feel like, you know, maybe I'm not any good at this. But dude, if you keep showing up and you keep executing, you keep doing what you're supposed to do, the results will sprout and you will gain a little bit more confidence. But dude, even when you gain more confidence, you'll be in a new level. And when you're at a new level, guess what happens? All the same shit happens again. You doubt, you question, you're insecure, you push harder, you go to the next, just a repetitive cycle, dude. It's a hard life.

But many, many, many people benefit from it. So it's something to be proud of. It doesn't mean you're fucked up. It doesn't mean you have to rid yourself of that. When you rid yourself of all that shit, you rid yourself of your fuel. All right? And when you rid yourself of your fuel, the growth stops. When the growth stops, people starve. What's worse? You being a little crazy or motherfuckers starving? Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. When you put it like that. Yeah. Yeah.

Like, shit, man. Yeah, man. Dude, we've grown. This culture has changed from, you know, like when I'm just glad I grew up when I did because the culture is so different. Like...

Entrepreneurs, successful people, people with drive, hustle, grit, fortitude, tough motherfuckers that refuse to quit were celebrated. You were told, this is how you should be. Yeah, now we have the opposite. Those people are fucked up. Well, who's telling you you're fucked up? A bunch of nerds with a fucking four-letter degree that haven't done shit and sit in their living room with fucking house slippers on and take notes about what the fuck they think is wrong with you. Get the fuck out of here.

Go build some shit. You'll be happy. I love it, man. I love it. Let's get another call in. Yeah, man. Let's get another call in. We got Josh. I like these names. Josh. Yeah, Josh. Josh sounds like a cool guy. Yeah. I know a few cool Joshes. Yeah, I do too. Yeah, just joshing around. Yeah. All right, let's go. Let's go. Here we go, Josh. Let's keep the comedy to the CTIs, buddy. Hello? Hey, is this Josh?

Yes, sir. What's up, DJ? How'd you know it was me? Because you sound like DJ. Josh, what's up, bro? I'm blessed, brother. How are you? I'm doing great, man. I'm just sitting here with the boys, taking some calls, trying to help some people. You know, maybe, you know, listen to a few DJ shitty jokes. I'll try. You know? What's up with you, brother? Where you at? I'm in SoCal. Okay, cool, cool. What business are you in?

Uh, the gym business. I own, I own two gyms. Okay, cool, man. How long have you been doing it? Uh, I got into the business at 18 years old, fresh out of high school, um, as an employee and quickly became manager. And then I took over ownership, uh, about three years in at 21. I'm 25 now. That's amazing, dude. That's awesome. So, uh, what, what, what do you think I can help you with, man?

Yeah, so honestly, brother, I got a lot on my chest, but I'll start off by reading you the question I submitted in 250 characters, and then I guess we'll go from there. So my question says that I typed in and submitted. It says, 25 years old, I own two gyms. After three and a half years, it's really four, but after four years of working for free, I am now profitable. I need to pass out flyers.

but I fear rejection outside of my own gym doors. How do I overcome this paralyzing fear? Well, look, man, let me ask you this. Do you actually make people better at your gym?

Yes, yes. The growth has been all referral based off of the incredible transformations and service and throughout the years of being unprofitable. I had, you know, my spurts where I'd have to let a couple people go and be there seven days a week for a year and a half and then bring trainers on and I'm there six to seven days a week and I treat everybody well.

amazing and the transformations and the results are there and that's why I get so many referrals. But at the end of the day, with my overhead and my rent and all my expenses, that's not enough. And I've known that's not enough since day one to actually profit and live the life that I want to live. Hold on. We're going to get to that in a second. But you believe that Josh cares enough to actually help people get results. Yes. Yes. 100%. Okay.

I'm very passionate about what I do. Okay, so if that's the case, then you should have zero discomfort trying to help people out on the street and talking to them and offering them your services or at least making them aware because you actually do care and you're not just trying to sell them some bullshit and you actually are going to help them get results. And if they do reject you, which lots of people will,

That's okay because the 20%, the two out of 10 that are going to talk to you, you're going to build relationships with them and you're going to change their motherfucking lives. Okay? So you can't puss out because the eight people are not going to fucking want to hear it. You got to show up for the two that are going to change their fucking lives. All right? So that's the first thing. Now let's get into this other thing about the profitability. Go ahead and talk about that.

Well, on that note, when it comes to that, like I agree. I agree. There's something in my brain where I'm like, all right, I run both locations, all their operations by myself. All the employees are the trainers. I have eight employees right now, but I'm running the operations.

And I look at myself and I say, what would be the best thing to do right now to grow and generate revenue? And the answer is walk out because I chose the location next to a big retailer for this purpose and walk out and bring clients in and sign them up and change their lives. So they bring in referrals and we grow. But my brain, I fucking do other shit.

I grabbed the flyers and I walked to the door and then, and then I ended up doing something else. I have something deep down that keeps holding me back. And I know the answer is because I've listened to you since 2017. You've said this shit a hundred times. What's the answer? Go fucking do it. Don't be a pussy.

Go to the grocery store and talk to every go go to the grocery store and talk to every person in there and don't leave till you talk to every person in there. And I know these things I've been listening to you since I was 16 years old, but my fucking brain, I pushed out and I know the answer. That's the problem is you could have cut off the MFCO project six episodes in. You already said everything that needed to be said. The problem with young entrepreneurs is we don't listen. You want me to come out there and kick you out the fucking door, bro?

Like I will come out the door and I will not let you back in your own fucking gym until you bring at least two more people. Like, bro, listen to me. You have to do this. And here's an important thing. It's not just about growing your gym. It's about growing your skill set. Okay.

People are going to reject you up and down the path. It's going to happen for the next 25 years until you're so big that everybody's coming to you and you get to pick and choose. All right? That's where I'm at now. There's nobody that brings me anything where I don't pick and choose. I'm not asking for anything. And it's really fucking nice. It's really nice. But...

it didn't get that way until i was willing to go down the path for you know 15 years of getting told to eat and learning how to handle people telling you to eat is a massive skill set because most people can't do it so i agree yeah bro so like look man

You're building this up to be worse than it's going to be. All right. There's lots of things that can help you. If people are going to be rude, be nice back. You know what I'm saying? Well, I hope you have a great day, brother. Like,

Sorry to bother you, you know, just be polite back when they're rude and a lot of times, you know Just like when they walk in your gym or you know You go in somewhere like you've had a bad day your fucking dog died or some shit happen you you there there's a book called the four agreements and one of the main four agreements is don't take anything personally and That really helped me realize like their reactions are not my control if I go at it with the right intent and my intent is to actually help them and

then I'm doing what I can do. And maybe I present it wrong at first, but eventually I learn how to present it better so that it converts higher and it produces a better result. But ultimately, dude, this isn't about you just bringing people in the gym. This is more about you building the tenacious, relentless ability to

To talk to people because dude, I'm going to tell you this, and this is very important. The more, and this is really important for the business that you're in because people are never going to stop working out. But the more that technology, uh,

infiltrates our society the more valuable inter communication skills are going to be all right and you're 25 years old dude you grew up on a phone you grew up with technology so it is a little bit harder for you because it's abnormal for someone of your age to do what i'm telling you to go do but i'm going to tell you dude and this is real that skill is going to become so rare

That it becomes extremely valuable and why it's going to be valuable to you is going to be because the way that your gym is going to scale and grow is going to be by you building community around your gym. And you could only build community with other human beings if you are great at dealing with other human beings.

So when you tie all of this together, this is practice for you, bro. This is reps. This is what you have to do. And if you don't do it, you're just not gonna be as successful as you could be. Not even close. - I agree. - So you know-- - Not even close. - I know you know this,

But dude, you know, when you're getting ready to walk out that door and you start to get that fucking, you know, like that, that bitch voice is in your head. It's like, fuck, like, bro, just walk right through it. Just keep walking and just go do it. And you're going to find out, bro, after the first time or third time you get rejected, it's not even a big deal. It's not a big deal. Yeah. And let me tell you something else. Do you, do you, are you married?

Brother, I've been with my girl since I was 16. I've done a lot of things right in my life. This is the only one thing that fucking eats me alive every day. Yeah, I'm married. One for one, bro, since we were 16. Okay. Well, I was going to say, for most men in your situation, they usually aren't married, and your ability to talk to people is going to dictate the quality of the mate that you attract. So this translates into all areas of life.

So while that doesn't apply to you, it's important for the other young men and young people to hear. So, dude.

You've just got to force your way through it, man. And once you go through it once or twice, it's like the first time you walked into a gym, bro. The first time you walked into a gym, you were shit in your pants. I know you were because I was too. And so was everybody else. It's very uncomfortable. But once you've done it, you're like, what the fuck was I worried about? What was I nervous about? And dude, this is just a mental block and it's going to take force the first two or three times. And

You know why it's eating you, bro? It's because you're letting it linger. If you go take this action fucking today and you go out there and give out five fucking flyers, even if it's just five and they all say fuck off, you're going to realize, holy shit, I've been letting myself get eat up over nothing. And it's going to free you. I know that. Yeah, then go do it.

I know. I know. That's why I fucking trust you, brother. You've been telling me this for seven years over my phone. Listen to me. Hang up the fucking phone and go fucking do it because it's going to make you feel better. I agree. I agree. And then at the end of the day. Go ahead.

Um, and, and the part, Andy, if I can just be extra clear, the part that, that I've been torturing myself with is the fact that like, who the, I don't know one person in my fucking life that will work four years for free, seven days a weekend and go through the stress. And I've done all the other shit. That's so much fucking harder than this.

Yeah. But this is the one thing I've let eat me alive. I worked for free for four years and I had chest pains for six months. I thought I was going to fucking die last year from, Oh, from stress. But that one thing that I haven't been doing is the solution to all of my issues, which is why it eats me alive because it's the obvious answer that I know. All right, bro. Well, do you want to feel better today or do you want this to keep going? Yeah, I agree. I agree. You agree. If you already know what the fuck man, go fucking do it. Yeah. Well, listen, dude. Yeah, dude.

- Go do it. Like you said, you've already done all this shit. What's the worst that's gonna happen? Some fucking fat fuck's gonna tell you to work out today. - Yeah, tell him to go eat a fucking hot dog, bro. It doesn't matter. Dude, just do it. You're gonna go home and you're gonna be like, fuck, that wasn't that bad. What the fuck?

And you're going to feel lighter. You're going to feel better. And you're going to be proud of yourself. And you're probably going to make fun of yourself. You're going to be like, what the fuck was I doing? So, dude, you got this, bro. You got it, dude. Just go do it. Listen. Just go do it. It'll fix all your shit.

Yeah, I agree. Yeah, 100%. Well, thank you, man. It sounds like that's all that you need to say, and there's nothing else for me to say at that point then. Listen, brother, this will build your courage. Listen, you can't win in business without courage. It's impossible. You can't win without courage. The reason that all this stuff happened the last four to six years is because most people don't have it. If you want to win in real life,

In business, you got to have courage. And what you need to do is you need to understand that this is an investment in your courage that is going to be required for you to level up. It just is. There's going to be much, much, much harder things than this down the road. I'll give you an example, dude. Like, this isn't the same thing, but it's a similar block that I dealt with.

When I had my first retail store, I was so scared to open the second store. I was so scared to open the second store. I thought people were going to cheat me. I thought it wasn't going to work. I had all these things that would go wrong in my head. And...

Guess what? They all happened. Every fucking one of them. But had I not went ahead and did it, even though I was scared, I wouldn't have, you know, I don't know. We got like 40 stores now. We're opening more like literally all the time. First form wouldn't exist. None of this shit would have happened, man. You wouldn't even be talking to me.

You need to pull the trigger dude because what it's gonna do is it's gonna free you up and build your courage and allow you to realize you don't have anything to be scared of dude. You don't have anything to be scared of. Like it's 100% mental and if you don't do it bro, if you don't do it, you're probably gonna fucking lose in business. That's the truth and you need to understand that. Yeah.

Yeah and keep in mind when I submitted this question I went in here knowing that I'm gonna sound fucking retarded like I already knew that. No no no I knew that because I've been listening to you for seven years I sound stupid but I already know the answer but I wanted you to shit on me. Bro I'm not shitting on you dude I'm making you understand.

Listen, first of all, that's not stupid. That's a real concern. It's a really good question because a lot of people struggle with it. Stupid ones are the people that don't ask the shit. The stupid ones are the people that don't do it and think that they can get around doing that and that they're just going to be able to ignore that part of their life. Yeah.

Josh understands this is a big fucking deal. This isn't about the flyers working. This is about overcoming something he's afraid of. That's a big deal. Okay? Like, I know a lot of people are listening. They're like, well, tell him to do this or that or this. Motherfucker, we're not talking about that. We're talking about him getting over a mental block. And you have to learn how to do this because there's going to be more down the road.

All right. So, dude, this is not stupid. You're not stupid. I'm not shitting on you, but it's very important because if you don't learn how to overcome the mental blocks, bro, there's going to be more of them and you won't be able to overcome those. And it's going to limit your success for you, your girl, your future family and everything you got going on, bro. And I'm not going to allow that to happen.

Yeah, I absolutely. Yes. Thank you. You're welcome. And the part that makes it that really made me realize that I have to address this now, which I've always known is as of January, started making a chunk of cash every month.

Both locations are profiting great. And I still feel empty and dead and unfulfilled because the profits and being in the green, it doesn't mean anything to me because I'm still ignoring literally what's in front of my fucking face. So until this is addressed, no matter how much money I make.

I'm ignoring something that's in front of my face is gonna fucking keep me up at night like it has for four years. Bro, the fact that it keeps you up at night is a great thing because it means you're aware that it's something that you need to overcome. Okay? But this is so simple you could overcome it today. Real talk. You could overcome it today. Yeah. And you should. And I will. All right, good. Yeah.

All right, brother, listen, man. You're in a good spot. Just fucking, you know, follow through. You said you're going to do it today. Go fucking do it. I'm going to text you to find out, too. Yeah, DJ's going to follow up. Was that your number you were texting me on, DJ? Yeah. All right, I'm going to hit you up. I'm going to text you like 10 times a day, bro, okay? I'm going to ask you what you're eating for breakfast. I'm going to check in. And if you don't text me back, I'm going to be pissed, bro. I thought we were friends. Sweet, man. All right, Josh, go get it, bro.

Yes, sir. Appreciate you guys. Thank you for everything. Thank you, bro. Go do it. You got this. Yes, sir. All right. All right. Bye. Bye. Love it, man. Yeah, man. Look, dude, that's not, it's not about the flyers. It's not about, it's about overcoming the mental block. Yeah. I was thinking about it too. Cause he said he's been with his girl since they were like 16. So the reality of it too, he's never had to really face rejection at all. Well, you know what I'm saying? Like, I mean, I mean,

Yeah, I mean, when you like girls and, you know, you're young and you don't have the luxury of having one since you're 16, you're going to get used to being told to fuck off. You're right. You know, kind of comes with the territory. So. I love it, man. Yeah. Well, guys, Andy, that was three. All right, guys. Hey, let's go out. Let's get it. Let's make it a good week. And we'll see you tomorrow.

We'll see you next time.