#126 - Yannis Pappas and Chris Distefano
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Welcome everybody to Stavi's World. 904-800-STOV. Call in. We'll solve all your problems. Wow, what a beautiful couch today. Two of our favorites united on the couch, reunited again.

The history hyenas themselves. Put that down. Sorry, I was doing it. No, stop. Blur these out, Eldest. Sorry. I love everybody. I love you all. I feel good about being here. I was excited to come, and I could tell Eldest was excited that we were coming because he's dressed like Elizabeth Holmes from Theranos.

Elvis is an all black in a turtleneck. You guys don't even see the pants. He's looking Parisian today. He's looking mysterious. He looks like that fucking female CEO. I thought he was coming here to do yoga. He looks like a very granola yogi guy. I was just feeling that when I dress up for a couple classy guys on the couch today. But I like that it's still Baltimore because it's really nice, but the whole outfit was bought at Old Navy. Yeah.

Yes. You do look like an Albanian poet. Legionarily very popular. You do. By the way, have you ever figured out why the Greeks do the snake noise? Yeah, I didn't know what that was. I don't know. As a way to express strong disapproval. Oh, I see, I see. Like, tsss.

Well, it goes back to the thing, and I think we talked about this last time, and I've put it in my last special, but it's like, Greeks are Arabs. That's why. Yeah. Like, that's like a real, like, they'll even say, like, I've heard Greek people say, which just sounds Arabic. I don't know what it means. I think it's a Greek, and it's like, to show displeasure, it's like,

Right. Which feels very like desert person. Yeah. Very Arab. And I've said that like we truly, the best parts of Greek culture, like all the food is just like we put our little spin on a bunch of Arabic shit. Right, right. You know, Yida, Kabobs. Turkish coffee, but it's Greek coffee. Well, Greek coffee. You can't call it a Turkish. Let's not get crazy. Let's not get crazy. Yeah.

You know what I mean? That's the moral enemy is the Turks, right? Yeah. What about the Albanians? Are they okay? No, they're more the criminal class of our country. Are they like your migrants? Yeah, exactly. Literally, yes. Although now it's been so long that I do feel like Albanians are sort of at the... In the Greek context,

caste system of undesirable Eastern Europeans. Albanians, I feel like now you've kind of have, you've kind of clawed to the near the top. It's taken thousands of years, but we're passing you on the escalator. You're not passing us. Let's not get fucking insane here. You just got debit cards last year. You're not passing us, motherfucker. That turtleneck's got you fucking acting out right now. You know,

It's basically, you know, like when a black guy goes and buys a Lexus. That's fucking... An Albanian and a turtleneck. That's middle money right there. Which, by the way, shirt, no shirt, same amount of coverage on his neck. Whether it's a turtle, a turtleneck or not. Dude, Albanians are sneaking in everywhere now. My family went out to this new restaurant in our neighborhood the other day, and we thought it was like, you know, it's Italian food, right? Italian place, and we're really enjoying the food. Like, everyone's eating. Yeah.

And then my mom, the owner came over and was nice. Oh, welcome to my new place, whatever. And my mom was like, what part of Italy are you from? And we're all eating. And he was like, oh, I'm actually Albanian. And like the whole table, it's like I saw one of my cousins just stopped cutting his meat. And kind of everyone kind of just looked at him. We were like, check, please.

But the food was excellent. Well, Albanians, that's the thing that they're between Greece and Italy. Got it. So it's like Albanians basically choose are you going to be... It's the way like...

Like, it's the way Jersey, are you Philly or New York suburb? Albania, it's like, are you a Greek Albanian or an Italian Albanian? Got it. So you guys are just like that little chunk of the Jersey Shore, like right in the middle, where you walk and the Philly hats start to turn to giant hats. Albania, wow, yeah. I'm right about that, right? What else borders it?

The ocean, obviously. Is Turkey on the border? I feel like there's... No, Turkey's on the other way, you fucking dog. Turkey's across. I think there's a lot of admiration for the Italian mob, what they've done with the mafias over the years. That's true. So there's like a real meathead aspiration to that. Sure, that makes sense. And probably like more...

But that's like more one-sided because I feel like Italy just doesn't give that much of a fuck about them. There's more like discourse both ways where like... Which is Albanians like dislike and like each other a little more. And there's a lot of Albanians that are Muslim, right? There's a big Muslim population there. That's technically the majority religion. Whoa. But not you. Well, it's in his blood though. It is. Communism stamped it out, but Elders is half.

You do kind of have like... Albono Muzz. He does a way, like with that beard, you do have a little bit of hijack face. I've been seeing a lot of those family guy Muslim videos on Instagram. He really watches them. I'm ripe for conversion, for real. No, Elders, I could totally see you going Muzz at the end of your life, for real. One more of these Trump executive orders gets through and you're converted. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Alou Akbar, you're going wild. That would be fucking awesome. I could see Eldest pulling some weird shit. Like, Eldest stopped talking about, like, he would talk about going into the army up until, like, six months ago. He kept being like, I just think the discipline would be good for me. It's like, you have never... I just always regretted that I never enlisted. He couldn't play middle school basketball. He's been this high since we were 11, and he thinks he can do the army. Yeah.

I love that Eldest is like, I'm going to go into the army, but then he comes in dressed like Jane Lynch. Oh, fuck, dude. You look like a disgraced Greek Orthodox priest. That is true. Yeah, that he just took the collar off. Yeah, he's a dick. Yeah. Well, let's relax. The Catholics are the dicks. Right.

Our priests get to fuck women. That's how you know. Thank you. First of all, how can you respect a man who doesn't get pussy? I'm going to tell this guy my fucking secrets. This guy doesn't fuck. And I'm going to seek counsel from him. He's 58.

58 years old and just like maybe fingered a girl once in high school. That's his problem. And he's telling me what to do about my marriage? No. A Greek Orthodox priest, he can't fuck around. He has to fuck. Like he chose his wife. I listened to him. He's fucked. It's also funny to think about your priest.

Just like laying it down. Right. Like our priests have kids. Yeah. It's fucking hilarious. Oh, I didn't realize that. So Greek Orthodox has full... Right. So the thing is, a priest, we can't have...

Catholic priests can't have wives. Sorry, I'm going on tour. I have to start writing down bits that I think have legs. And I think, you know, how am I going to respect a priest that doesn't get pussy? I like that. That's a good one. Well, it's also like a nice, strong hit. Actually, I'll just start making notes of this. I have my guests here. Get a word doc together. Get to work. Get to work, Kaffir boy.

Yes, sir, Mr. House. House, Albanian house, sir. Get to work. It's also a nice strong hint that the priest is, you know, doesn't have any boys. That's not, there's a woman there. We do not have a boy cult. Yeah, there's not. If anything, I think our priests have a little more of the like,

is he going to fuck a grown woman? Like a little bit more of the, like, because we had, I remember what they'll do sometimes for priests, and I don't know where you went to, what your church was like, Yanni, but when we were growing up, they would sometimes, you know, we had, I went to St. Nicholas in Baltimore, and we had a priest that he wanted to move out to the suburbs, whatever, and so they were kind of sending us like

priests straight from Greece to kind of like train in America and they would like whatever. Yeah, literally like literally to work on their English. And so we did, we had a guy who was like,

Sexy. Like, they came through. He was looking like... Like, swarthy looking, black hair. Like, sexy Rasputin. Oh, nice. Because, like, you know, Rasputin kind of, like, didn't bathe. And he still got wild pussy or whatever. And he still, like, you couldn't kill Rasputin for whatever reason. This guy looked like hot Rasputin. And I'm telling you, bro, the, like, Goya, Greek Orthodox youth of America, the Goya moms...

We're on this guy's dick this guy could have if you and I'm not convinced he didn't fuck one of them Oh, he probably could have legally fucked them all no no no he's got a wife you have to oh you have to have a wife to be a Greek priest so the thing is you choose They give you a choice if you want to be like a bishop you want to go far It's basically like you're married to the game no pussy for you if you want to be like the Pope guy but if you want to be a priest you can get married and

And then you get, I mean, you still have to, you're still a dork in that you can't get side pussy, right? But could you be single going in to be a priest and then just fuck? And date. You could date. But you couldn't have sex before marriage. I don't think. Oh, okay. I don't know. There's still a Greek man, so who knows? The bishops and the archbishops can't be married. Right. I think that's how it goes. Yes. But the priests can be. The priests can be. But they could also be single as priests and start.

start dating parishioners. I wonder, I don't think you can. No, it's not the kind of thing where the priest is a fucking Chili's with some fucking divorced bitch and like he fucks her three times and they break up and they go, mutually go their separate ways. No, you have to get married and fuck your wife. Like you still have to follow the Bible to a letter. these rules are so gay. Yeah.

That's so funny, the idea that the priest would be just kind of in an open, casual relationship with parishioners. I think that's the way it needs to go. I can tell you from the Catholic side, nobody wants to become a priest anymore. It makes sense. And the numbers are so low. We are selling absolutely...

- Absolutely no tickets. - Well, the heat came down. The heat came down. It's like the heat came down. - It took a while. - It's like the way the mob got kind of, you know, just dismembered. - The Rico, yeah. - The Rico. - They just. - Petto started, yeah, prosecuting Petto.

It was like prosecuting Rico places. But I literally, my school, St. Matthias, that I went to, my church, they have an Instagram account or they had an Instagram account and they put out a clip of the priest giving a homily. I'm like, they're starting to do crowd work. It was like a priest giving like a good sermon. I was like, this is how bad it's gotten. You go to St. Matthias' follows and it's like, look,

you know, St. Matthias Boys Lacrosse. Yeah. It's like young boys gymnastics. Yeah. The Rizzler is just following little boys like Timothee Chalamet. Yeah, dude, their school, I went to grammar school there and then they, St. Matthias Catholic Academy or whatever shut down last year and they were like on Instagram asking me to save the school. I said, I'm the guy from MTV2. What are you talking about? How could I possibly save this?

But they're just like, maybe Chrissy can help. I'm like, no, dude. I couldn't even remotely help. I don't believe in the cause either. You're our Catholic, right? Hardcore. Yeah. Hardcore. Really? You're going to say you're hardcore Catholic. Hardcore, dude. I got fucking Catholic scriptures. He's got Catholic scriptures.

He's like, I'm like a soldier in the army of God. So you, how many times a week do you attend mass? So, okay. So the thing is with mass, with mass, because I've moved so much, I haven't found a church that's a good fit. But every time I go visit my mom on it, if I,

If I'm in Ridgewood on Sunday before noon, I am going to mass with my mom. She's very religious. She's hardcore religious. She lights candles. She lights candles all day for everybody, praying all day. But my kids go to Catholic school. Doesn't mean anything. Catholic school means, not for you. I know you're an enlightened guy, whatever.

In my experience, Baltimore, Catholic school meant our parents are racist and they can't afford good private school. That's what it is. So they can scrape together three grand a year instead of 12 grand a year. And for their kids to learn never have sex, you know,

you can't have, being gay is fake. Right. God created the, you go to a school where they say God created earth. You pay for that. I send my kids, I send my kids to Catholic school so I can technically look at, look you in the eye and say my kids go to private school but only I know the truth. But I'm not actually lying to you. Yeah.

If you ask a follow-up question, I'm fucked. No, but dude, I remember that, like, because we, growing up, so many of my friends were, like, Greek Orthodox that went to Catholic school. And I was like, what the fuck are you guys doing? Like, we're not...

Catholic at all. And then it was very clear their parents just did not want them around minorities. That was the whole fucking reason that they did that. And they were broke. But that's not you. Your children are, in fact. Well, but the thing is we moved to Queens. I can't send them to the public schools here. Why not? I just can't do it, dude. I haven't looked this up. You live in a nice area of Queens. I'm sure the public schools are good. Yeah.

It's not that they're... Honestly, dude. It's not even me, dude. It's Jazz. She doesn't want to send them to public school. There we go. Pass the buck to the Latina. She's Puerto Rican, dude. But she doesn't want to send them to public school. She wants to send them to Catholic school. But it is... I have always felt that way. Like, I'm paying for this Catholic education, but the truth is, it's like I'm just... I'm on the cusp of being able to afford a real private school, but I'm not there, so the kids will just go to Catholic school. The problem is when the...

Your girls, you're gonna... You can't let them hike up those dresses. I know. That's the thing. They all roll them up. There's nothing good that comes of Catholic school. Who do you know that went to Catholic school that's like, that's a fucking genius right there? Who do you know that didn't... I do think per capita, Catholic school girls do fuck faster and freakier. Girls in Catholic school were the ones that were like, well...

I can't get my pussy fucked, so I guess I'll let my boyfriend fuck me in the ass. I'm 14, by the way. Like, that's not, like, Catholic school makes it so the kids skip all of nature and start doing shit like, you know, well, we can eat each other's asses. God, there's no scripture about that. There's a workaround. Yeah, it's like, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I remember there was a girl who she would, I never got any from her, but one of my friends, I didn't, I swear to God I didn't. I believe you. But when we were in Catholic school, this was high school, she didn't feel, obviously no sex, but even like she wouldn't give full blowjobs, she would just suck the tip.

Because I guess she felt that was like, I'm not committing a sin. That's just hot. Yeah. When I was growing up, like the first handjob I got was a girl from St. Saviour's. Shout out to St. Saviour's. And it was just, the repression from the religion is almost worth everything.

how it makes people freaky. Because it's like, oh, this is bad, this is bad, this makes it hot. So it's worth it. That's a good point. Sending your daughters, sending your half-Latina daughters to Catholic school is like paying your taxes in that the guys who get the

fuck them in 20 years? Yeah. We'll get like, you're doing a good service. Yes. Creating freaky, half Italian, half Latino. That's what it is. For high school, you may want to take them out and put them in a private. In a private school. Yeah, yeah. I gotta see, who knows where the fuck I'll be by the time these kids are in high school. I've moved eight times in the last nine years. How are you feeling about Queens, man? We're neighbors. No. Really? I just, yeah, we're moving, dude. Why?

I can't do it. Kid likes to move. I gotta get out to the suburbs. This is crazy. Okay. And I want to ask where you went to. What school? You went to public school? I went to public school and then private. Okay, nice. So I went to York Prep, the proud school that Robert Chambers went to. Okay. Who was the Central Park Strangler. Very nice. Yanni's classmate. Yeah, so...

I would love to talk to the York Prep teachers and be like, hey, these are your two former students. Who turned out worst? The Central Park Strangler or Marisa? Who turned out worst?

Which one has more of a... This was like a huge story in New York in the 90s. He killed this girl in Central Park. Damn. And it was like front page news forever. Robert Chambers. Good looking kid. He was a good looking kid. You remember Robert Chambers? Yeah, of course. He's out now. He's out. He's out.

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I think he's got his collar on too and her food is on his face.

You can pull it up if you can find it. It's really funny. God forbid you fucking pay attention to where the conversation's going. Who knows what the fuck... I heard him typing. I was like, whoa, is Eldest proactively Googling? He's probably fucking G-chatting somebody right now. He's in the E-Z's turtlenecks near me. Yeah.

Plus, big and tall cashmere. Won't get made fun. Doesn't look like old Navy turtleneck. Looks expensive, is cheap. 3XL tall turtleneck. Mr. Higinous will think looks cool. Yeah, dude. Oh, fuck. I mean... No, no, hold on. Let's see if he even can figure out what to Google. I missed it. Yeah.

Yeah. I was hoping. Yeah. Yeah. Greek priest foot fetishist. Look that up. Westchester. I missed it. I respect that, Elvis. Where did you go? Where were you? I was typing a note for something else for the episode. Oh, okay. Kinky Orthodox priest brought down by cake porn sex tape. Yeah, I mean, this is fun. There he is. Oh!

The feet are so funny. The feet pic is incredible, dude.

Pull up the... Dude, this guy's the man. Pull up the article. I'll just go to the New York Post article. He's got a crazy lazy eye, too. He does. Oh, God. He looks... Dude, respect. I mean, if you had to pick between diddlers and these types of guys, it's no discussion. Yeah, and the cake. He was doing something where he was mushing the cake. He was getting the cake mushed in his face or something like that. Yeah, okay. Greek Orthodox priest brought down... I mean, this guy's got a...

Oh, it's so funny. Is he from Greece or America? No, I think he's American. Let's see, let's see. A high-ranking Greek Orthodox priest starred in kinky sex tapes with his much younger parish school principal and was forced to resign after the affair. Yo, respect. Father George Passias, the married 67-year-old pastor of St. Spyridon Church in Washington Heights. Oh, right here. Wow. Even impregnated his married lover, 45-year-old...

Ethel Buzalas, according to sources. I like that part up there. Forced to resign after the affair, quote, which he denied for years. Yeah.

He took the helm of Saint Spyridon nine years ago and immediately ordered female worshipers to cover their head during confession. Wow. Yeah, yeah. It's usually how it goes. Yeah, of course. Yeah, the more perfect they, you know, that's Bill Cosby, don't curse. Of course. But there was no such nod to modesty in the shocking sex videos viewed by the Post.

keep going oh sit on it in one scene the bearded cleric wearing only a white t-shirt watches his long haired brunette lover plant her thong clad bottom on a piece of banana bread wrapped in

Salve, respect, dude. Bousalas wearing stiletto heels. You know what's interesting? She's got a Greek name, but she looks... Latina. Oh, apparently she's Peruvian. Yeah. But Bousalas, isn't that a Greek name? That sounds Greek. She's probably like half Peruvian, half Greek or something. Oh, dude, this guy's living the dream. A half Latina, half Greek.

My dream is to have... Is to marry some type of... I need... I can't go full Greek. Right. I need some kind of high... You know, it's just... Like a mix. It reminds me too much of my fucking aunts. You know what I mean? Like, I need somebody... And, you know, I'm a man of the world. If I...

If I was this guy, I'd be, I'd be fucking sitting on banana. I'd be putting the whole loaf up. So she oddly wiggles on the bread until it's flattened. Apparently a fetish known as cake crush. So this, this is how advanced this guy got. She,

Cheating on his wife as a priest. Imagine how many years of freaky shit he had to do to get to sit on cake with cellophane to make my dick hard. That's crazy, dude. Think about how fucking freak you have to be to finally get to banana bread. Yeah, yeah.

That's like the final boss. I just love that picture. Kids in heaven just smell those shoes. I mean, you know what, though? Honestly, dude, this kid's only going to live once. Like, did he do anything wrong? He's living his, I mean, I know he had a, you know, yeah, I know that. But, you know, what are you going to do? They get over it. It's just like, this is beautiful.

Okay, so here's what happened. Okay, apparently this lady was Peruvian. She married. The scandal blew up in early September when Tom Buzalas, Ethel's husband, emailed Bishop Antonios Paropoulos, the chancellor of the Greek Order. Dude, getting so cucked, you snitched to the guy's boss. Yeah, yeah. Tom, you're a fuck it. You got cucked major, dude. You go to the head of your religion. You fuck the guy. Go fuck the priest. You're going to go be like, um...

The priest fucked my wife. Make him in trouble. Plus, how much of a man of God are you? Your wife is fucking the priest. The priest has the ear of God. So now your wife's pussy is holy. Talk your prayers into your wife's pussy. Exactly. Enjoy it. I need to be more assertive. I want to get a promotion. Yeah.

Okay, the bishop known in the church by his first name said that both Basias and Ethel then came to see him and that Basias was suspended on September 16th as per the sexual misconduct policy of the archdiocese. Suspended. He's a priest who shot porno where a parishioner's wife sat on bread and then ostensibly fucked him. You're like, we're going to need you to sit out one Sunday. Yeah, that's...

Every church treats the priests like star athletes. It's like Justin Bieber with his N-word video. It's like, these guys make us too much money and we're going to walk around this.

Okay, here's awesome. The priest, he was leaving for personal and health reasons and confessed to multitudinous sins and shortcomings. Multitudinous sins and shortcomings, that's my next special's name, dude. That's a great, that's a great name. Yeah, that is great. And he said, I will now fade out of this world for a considerable time according to God's will.

He said, the big man upstairs made me get my dick sucked. Yeah. He has chosen for me that I should retire and follow the way of silence, prayer, fasting, and utter devotion to our Lord. Please do not ask where I am going and where I will be. It's certainly not... And then... I will be on fetish.com. And then...

And then, oh, just interestingly enough, we're opening up a church in Thailand. Yeah, yeah. This is fun. Oh, he lives in Flushing, dude. Yeah, it's right here. So he made it sound like he was going to some monastery, which, by the way, in Greece, beautiful monasteries. One of our good friends, his dad, I went to college with him.

His dad is one of these guys that like... He's kind of like your mom, it sounds like, the Greek Orthodox version, where like he literally can't wait to die to meet God. Like he talks about... He's like... He smiles when he talks about dying to his sons. And they went on for Thanksgiving. They went to a Greek monastery and had... They said it was fucking crazy. It was just like these guys... Like these guys...

Go to fuck they wake up. There's no electric like they don't live there's electricity if you want it but they live in like They live like the closest you came to the Middle Ages where they fall asleep with the Sun with the when the Sun goes down they wake up in the middle of the night pray or fucking do some work and

Sleep again, wake up at 6 a.m. They eat like twice for 20 minutes and the whole time some guys do it. So these guys are super hardcore. He's kind of hinting that he would do that. However, the New York, the Post saying...

Pacillas, who lives in Flushing, Queens, is not in an isolated monastery self-flagellating. Instead, he went to his daughter's home in Chicago. A church official says... Messages left. This guy's just like, I have to go. I'm going to pray. And he's just fucking having a good... He's at a Bears game. Yeah. He's got to... Pray for him and his wife. He has four grown children. And the lady has three. This is some fucking... This... You know...

It's not great, but it is a beautiful story about how you can continue to discover your sexuality deep into your 60s. Yeah. It's kind of promising. It's hopeful. It's hopeful in terms of like, it's not an ageist story. It's a beautiful story of like finding yourself sexually. Because there's like a part of me, like I just turned 40 and I'm like, is like the best years of my life over? Did I have experience? And then it's like, dude, in 27 years, you could be sticking banana bread in your ass. Like that's how crazy things can get.

Life is better on the second half. Right. Life's better, dude. Apparently, this woman converted to Christianity when this priest baptized her while she wore a bikini. Oh, so he was just like...

Fucking rock. I mean, she's legitimately like a hot, she's older Spanish milk. Look at this picture. Look how happy he is. Look at his eyes. Save this picture. We're getting it printed on t-shirts. This is my fucking hero, dude. This is bringing me back to the church, dude. I've been a pretty, you know, I've been legit like this guy. He's on his cell phone. He's on his cell phone. Like she looks awesome, dude. This is what I want to be like. Yeah, dude. And he doesn't give a fuck.

I love it, dude. I mean, that eye might just be looking at another girl. I don't know where he's looking. Yeah, well, that's why he probably got it because he has literally a wandering eye. Yeah. So this is awesome. Apparently, he promoted her. She had no education credentials. She was soon promoted to the principal of St. Spyridon Parochial School.

It's just no... By the way, this is the level of education your children are getting, by the way. This is who gets to run these religious institutions. Ethel Buzalis. Yeah. She also became a church treasurer and signatory on bank accounts. So she fucking stole all their money. Yeah, they literally, in addition to imposing conservative values, Pacilla's

ruffled longtime congregants who said he removed controls over church spending and questioned why money was being poured into repairs at the school. So they were fully, literally embezzling. Oh, this is fucking awesome. This is the best part. When they started accusing him, he said, she's a goddaughter to me. That's it. Oh, he's her godfather. She's a goddaughter to me, and that's it. That's what it is. Respect to this guy. All right. I love this. Let's, you know...

Any conclusion? He was brought before a spiritual court and was convicted in the first degree. Spiritual court of the first degree. Yeah, first degree of being fucking awesome. The priest was like, and describe in great detail what you were up to. Well, she sat on bread.

Her husband refused to comment on the affair or the pregnancy. He might have gotten her pregnant. He did get her pregnant. She got an abortion? He did get her pregnant. Yeah, he did get her pregnant. And sex tapes. This is awesome. I like that they made sex tapes. Yeah, that is fucking sick, dude. Afraid...

In his farewell note, said he was following the direction of his spiritual father, Jeronda Ephraim. Ephraim presides over St. Anthony's Greek Orthodoxy in Florence, Arizona. Oh, yeah, that's where a freaky old man should go. Arizona. Yeah. Fucking... That's actually where they go. Arizona's nothing but leathery 70-year-old sucking and fucking. Yeah. I bet you this priest now has a fucking nipple rings.

He's fucking awesome, dude. The family of a young man who lived there and committed suicide in 2012 contends the death was the result of six years of physical and psychological abuse at the monastery. That's the monastery he's going to? I guarantee you, dude, if you look to this even further, he probably did kill Tony in like 2014.

What do you call a black guy? What do you call a black doctor? Nothing. There are no black doctors. Ah! The kill Tony fucking, fucking Mongoloid. You're like, yeah! Yeah! Say the N word! You son of a bitch. That was incredible. Ha ha ha ha!

Have you ever gotten pussy from a bitch that had banana bread in her ass? As a matter of fact, Tony, you fucking whore. I can't. Red band's like... That would fucking kill, dude. A Greek priest that God put... Dude, if this guy killed Tony now, he would be a hero. And I would demand to be on the fucking... What's his name again, Elders?

Oh, fuck. You just know when you watch Kill Tony, you see a guy come out there with no legs and Down syndrome, you're like, that guy's getting a golden ticket. A cross-eyed George Fascias, a cross-eyed priest that used to get Latina pussy on the side, dude. He's doing racist street jokes. She's on crutches in the back. She's getting fucking railed by him. He put a fucking hurtin' on that pussy. He's reminding me of Russell Crowe in The Pope's Exorcist in this picture. Yeah, I see that.

Great movie, by the way. But look at that. I mean, it's so funny. That's a crutch. She's a piece of ass, dude. Yeah, she looks good. She just has fucking too much banana bread on her butt. All right. She can't even walk. Well, let's save this picture. I literally want a t-shirt. You guys are welcome for me introducing you to the coolest fucking priest of all time. Yeah, what do you got? Yeah, what do you got? Balls in your court. Coolest Catholic priest. Coolest Catholic priest. Wow. I mean, dude, I don't have anyone. Really? Yeah.

Just Google any state penitentiary. Goddamn. That smile, dude. Folks, if you're listening, please tune into the YouTube just to see this. Actually, we'll maybe make this the episode picture. Goddamn, that's incredible. And you know what?

a thousand percent he's going to get notified that you were talking about this. Oh, that means the Greek community? Oh, absolutely. You two guys, who's bigger in Greek comedy than you two guys? This guy's going to get notified. Listen, get us a Stamos retweet and we've covered our bases. We've covered all our bases. We've got Stamos out there. This guy is great. Dude, we need to actually, we need to take this up really. We have to develop this script. Yeah. Are you kidding me? I want to play this guy. This is great. Yeah. Yeah.

We'll get fucking Karen Feehan to play the pool. Holy shit. This would be a great movie. This is a fucking awesome movie, dude. This would be a great movie. Done and done.

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Now, you don't want to fill your mommy's aura frame up with that kind of stuff. That's for a degenerate like me. You fill it up with cute stuff. Bunnies. Picture you as a child. Pictures of you and your significant other. Well, hopefully you have. If you don't have that, pictures of you cleaning your room for once. I know we got some disgusting animals that listen to the show, and buying this aura frame...

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That's A-U-R-A frames.com promo code Stavi. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply. This is going to be awesome. I'm going to make a fucking movie about a philandering Greek priest. Just every Greek church wants nothing. Actually, that might be nice. I'll stop getting hit up to do. Do Greek people ever ask you to do shows at churches? Oh, dude, all the time. And I've done a few. But not anymore. Is the money good at least?

do they do they pay he's not even that great and also it's the kind of thing where if you did it and they paid you a lot

they almost expect you to kind of give the money back. Yeah. Because it's a church. You know what I mean? It's just trying to take your time from you. And everything in the Greek community goes to the church. So it's like, they're all church shows. It's also like, guys, watch one second of my act. Have you guys ever done it and it did not go well because it wasn't what was expected? Oh, yeah. Port Jefferson did not go good. Oh, really? You did? Did you do Panos?

No, I did stand up. It did not go good. Oh, you should have done Pano's, dude. Yeah, bombed. Of course he bombed. Why didn't you start ripping out Mr. Pano's then? Wouldn't that kill? Yeah, I mean, I probably should have done it. You had too much integrity, man. Yeah, I probably should have done it. I mean, that's what I probably should have done. Did you ever do one? Did you ever do a gig? Did you ever do a gig where, like, you mix it up like they wanted Pano's, but you gave them more Risa? No. No.

Or Marissa and you gave him pannels. Well, the priest might have tried to fuck him if he looked like Marissa. This priest would have... He would owe that to Marissa. That priest would have watched Marissa and be like, get me banana bread, get me banana bread. Yeah.

I did one time. I did a corporate as Pano in Canada and Toronto for this Greek-like hedge fund billionaire. Hilarious. It was his birthday party. His name was George Soros. Yeah, his name was George Soros. And I came out in the bathing suit and everything. Graham K. opened for me. He fucking ate it. How is it supposed to go good? Of course. And then I was just up there in swim trunks with a painted-on mustache. Everybody, what's going on?

And I mean, you're talking about zero. Like people did not know what the hell was going on. Panos went well. It went well. They were all financial guys. I did this video, the Greek financial crisis. So then it caught on with financial people. I remember that video even before we were friends. In the Greek community, that caught fire. Yeah. And then it caught fire with like financial guys. So this guy, all his friends, they weren't Greek, but they were financial. So I just went up there and like made fun of like corporate greed and stuff and that kind of thing.

So it went relatively well then. That part went well, yeah. But it was one of those, like we were talking about before the show, unorthodox things where I'm just standing in the middle of a party. It's like you feel like, you really feel like, how is this? How am I getting paid? What is this? Well, it's also like people are eating apps and you're just turning around like, hey, look at him. How's it going? What's the deal? Where's the possible? Come back, come on, come on. It's fully demeaning where it's like, the money's usually so much that you're like,

I'll trade my base humanity for an hour for this. Yeah. Whereas like, I'll be gawked at by the super wealthy and bomb and feel bad because they're giving me so much money. Yeah. You take the money and that's it. You feel like a fucking laugh hooker. One time I did one, I did one for Goldman Sachs. I flew to California, did it. They took care of the flight and it was good. It was good, you know, like money. And then I,

I was supposed to do 45. About 15 minutes in, the guy stopped me, like whoever was in charge, and said, I'll pay you to stop. Awesome. So I said, I swear to God, I was like on the little makeshift stage. It was like, I said, so you're telling me you're going to give me the money that you agreed to in full to stop right now? He said, that's what I'm saying, kid. Yeah, yeah.

He goes, we'll get back to the dinner. And he was like, thank you. And I was like, thank you guys so much. And like, you know, a few people clapped and I got out, called my agent. He was like, yeah, we got the money wired. You go to the airport, son. I mean, that feels like it was bad. It is. There is more dignity for real. And I'm not even joking in like sex work. Yeah. Because at least, you know, you're doing, you're good at your job. You can crush it no matter what. You're a pro. And like, you're there for a service that everybody needs. Whereas like,

For him being like, just stop. Just stop. It's like, geez. Not just stop. I'll pay you. I'll pay you. Dude, one time I saw. You want to go like, hey, this was your idea. This was your. I told him. This was your idea. Dude, I told. Because normally when I do those corporate gigs, I'll always start the same. I'll be like, this was a bad idea. Why would you do comedy here? And it gets last. But for these people, they're like, no, we know. None of us want this. We don't want this. I was like, I couldn't get out of it. One time I sold such few tickets. It was called the DC Draft House. I remember the Draft House. Remember the D.

I sold such few tickets at the end of the weekend they asked me to give them money back. Ha ha ha!

And I called my agent at the time and he was like, we made a bad deal. Like you should do the right thing and give him some money back. And I remember driving home from DC with less money than when I started. Damn dude. It's crazy. That must've been a right. Cause that room only was around for like what? Six years. I did it with Sergio Chacon. Sergio Chacon, our guy who works with the both of us. And I was like, dude, I'm going to pay you. Obviously you deserve this, but just know like I actually have negative money. And he let me keep the money.

Because my agent at the time tried to make like a bigger deal and I didn't sell anything. I sold even less than what they thought and they were like, give the money back. - Did you have a full weekend? - Full weekend, dude. Thursday, Friday, Saturday.

I like that room, though. And it closed down, and then they made me do their, like, DC Draft House fucking podcast, which sucked. So I just had to, like, do all that and pay the money back. Oh, that's crazy. That's crazy. Let's talk about this more because it's just purely comedy stuff that nobody cares about, but that's fascinating. Like, what year was this? 2018.

early 2019 maybe. Maybe it's early 2019. I'm shocked you couldn't sell more tickets in D.C. I only started for my career. It's literally like...

Like my 9-11 bit is legit my 9-11. I have a pre-9-11 world and a post-9-11 world. 9-11 was good for you. Yeah, dude. I mean, it did more for me than it did for Isis. So I could not sell any tickets. That's crazy. I'm talking about not a one, even in New York. And then that thing came out. And then little by little, they were like, oh, the clubs are sold out. I was like, what?

So it just changed. And then the good news is like you're finally starting to separate yourself from that identity. When are you playing Madison Square Garden again? So I'll be in Madison Square Garden September 11, 2025. And if you guys want to hear that 9-11 bit, we're going to dust it off. And...

Here's the thing. Tickets have been on sale for about a week or two right now. They're going good. But here's the news. We said this on History Hyenas. Here's how you're going to know if I need help. Come about June, July, if you start seeing, oh, special guest Marisa at it. Live History Hyenas at it. A phone call with Stavi. Tim Dillon FaceTimes in. Special guest Andrew Schultz.

Hey, Chris is getting married. So the more things you see added on before 9-11, just know, just know that it's not going well. It's not going well. So yeah, but those tickets are on sale September 11, 2025. It would be funny if you're outside the show the day before scalping tickets for your own show. You're barking for your own show.

At the Garden. Well, they told me, they told me, they said, look, the good news about the Garden is like almost immediately as soon as you put that show on sale, like 5,000 people buy tickets because of the scalpers. So when they sent me my first ticket update, I was like, what about the scalpers? Are the scalpers not buying? And they were like, no, man, this is not going good. So,

I was like, even the scalpers were like, no, fuck that. Scalpers are going to short you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The scalpers are like, we'll wait on these. We get them cheaper. But it's funny, dude. It's fine. Yeah. It's going to go great. It'll be awesome. That is sick. Yeah, it's sick. For me, it's just like personally, it's just something I've always wanted to do. And then I almost feel like mentally I could just fucking set myself free and just go right back to...

gotham or whatever you know like just say i did it once i don't need to do it ever again actually to be honest the pressure of this i actually don't ever want to do it again yeah i mean i'm even my mind i'm like fucking seven months before this thing it's consuming my life well you know five or four we don't know yeah oh yeah whenever it comes this may come out after the show

I'm going to kill myself from the pressure of the show by the time this episode comes out. This could be a post-hominous release. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In memory. Yeah, it's going to be a time of privilege and memorial. Yeah, that's so, no, that's awesome. But I'm with you, dude. There is something beautiful about, I like the idea of, I don't know,

We were talking a little bit about it before, but it's like, I didn't really get into comedy because of my boundless ambition. Right. I got into comedy to have a good time and chill. And I'm like, I just want... I want to... I can't wait to peak. I'd love... Obviously, I'd love to do MSG, right? But if it never happens, like... Yeah. Like, I've done some great shit...

I'm looking forward to the decline, brother. Sure. I'm looking forward to the just like, let me just fucking go. I belong in shitty, like big strip mall clubs. Right. That's where I've been. Like, you know, you play those shitty ones and then you play like the cool ones down. Like I have set, we, we play some clubs to tune. Yeah. I'm going on a big theater tour. The, the dreamboat tour, please buy your tickets.

It's going to be good. We're working really hard on the hour. And buy tickets for wherever I'm at in 2027 when this comes out. Yeah. Buy tickets to, yeah. Find a local Greek church near you. I look for Greek churches.

He's announcing a tour that already happened. We're halfway through. We're halfway through. Yeah, see me at whatever Greek church I'm performing at. But, dude, I go to, like, I'll do warm-up shows in clubs. And theaters are cool, too. Obviously, like, it's a fucking dream come true. But it's like...

I'm a piece of shit that belongs in clubs. Sure. I need to, I should be cut off because some lady, the waitress, the waitress is drunk and she dropped chicken fingers. Yeah. That should ruin my momentum. That's what I deserve. Exactly. I don't deserve to be in the same buildings that like,

Elton John is in. Yeah. That's fucking, the best part about that, it's like, I don't know what happened in society where we got to just fuck. I don't know what happened. Yeah, it's fucking, it's crazy. It's like, fuck Matt Damon, they're stopping. Yeah, yeah. And so I can't wait for like, I want to do something like that. Like, you got your MSG and it's like,

Dude, if it's all downhill from there, it's great. That's exactly how I feel. I knew I didn't belong at all when after I did the... Previously, New York City, I did Radio City two years ago. And then the very next day, I got recognized at the Queen Center Mall playing laser tag with my kids. It's like so like...

A guy that was like a Chappelle. You're not going to catch him playing laser tag. Because it's just like, we don't deserve this. Just the podcast just ain't. Yeah, comedy is just one of those things that doesn't really belong in an arena. No, no. Did you ever read Steve Martin's book when he was doing Yankee Stadium? He was like, this is not.

Yeah. It's like, I don't know what this is. No, no. And then he quit after that. The best comedy venue, like the bigger ones to do, is Beacon Theater. That's the one. I love Beacon. Right? And you peeled off like four of them there. Three, yeah. Three of them. Yeah, I loved it. So I wanted, I was considering shooting, I don't know when I'm going to do my next special, but I'm trying to, we're trying to do something special in New York, so I'm trying to get like one of the, not MSG obviously, but like- Carnegie Hall or something? Something iconic. Yeah. You know, Radio City would be great. Something like that. Yeah.

And if that doesn't happen, then I want to shoot my next special at the Beacon because it's beautiful. It's perfect. It looks cool. It has all that fucking sick architecture. But, you know. You know what time it is, folks. This episode of the show is brought to you by Booking.com. Booking. Yeah. Every time I use Booking.com to find a place to stay in the U.S., I know they'll have exactly what I'm looking for. We're on the road. We're nomads.

I'm not going to lie to you. We booked a nice place, but Eldis is over here. I'm tired of smelling him. I went on booking.com. I got myself fans. I said, I need to unwind. I need a place with a soaking tub. I need a place that has access to a sauna. Booking.com had that for me.

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I also, I wanted to go back to, because we got so sidetracked by this priest. We got more sidetracked than his eyes. I want to delve into the psychology of why you keep moving. Okay. You know, because Yanni, you're set up. I'm settled. You're settled. You're in the burbs. Mortgage paid. I'm settled. Mortgage paid. Couple kids. Yanni's good.

conservative Greek wife. She, no, her family is. Her family. Yeah, she's not. I'm remembering the bit. I'm remembering the bit about how you want a Republican. Right. You want a Republican to have a child with. Yeah. Yeah, that's a great bit, by the way. It's a little less of a headache. But, you know, like, you're good and you've been good and you can't, you're still fucking. I can't figure it out. What's going on, man? Because I. Kid likes ass.

I think that's what it is. So me and Giannis did a, we did our first live history hyena show last month or whenever this comes out last year in Washington, D.C. Just to spite them, we're putting this out next week. Next week. Next week.

So we did it in Washington, D.C. And then as a joke, you know, because he was driving from where he lives and I was driving from where I live, but, you know, separate cars, so it's like a four-hour drive. I was like, as a joke, I was like, we should call each other and just talk the whole way. And we actually did that. It was a goof, and then we were just fucking having fun laughing.

And there was something that he said where I was like, that's interesting, that's good insight. And I confirmed with my therapist, this is accurate. See, my father was a gambler, like is a gambler, whatever. And so they get addicted to losing, not winning. They're addicted to losing. And I always thought in my head, I'm not a gambler. I don't gamble on sports. I don't even know card games. That was my father's wish.

And I never did it, so I was like, I'm not a gambler. But then it's like, I'm addicted to the, lose in the house, get it back. Lose the girl, get her back. Lose the career, get it back. Lose the podcast, get it back. You know, it's just like, so it's like there's something with that. But I will say, the last few months of my life, I've been very much like, okay, okay.

Something happened where it's like, I think because I've been living through it, you just get, I get exhausted. I'm like exhausted by it. Like I couldn't, it used to be I would move in somewhere and then within a week I'm like, I can't wait to move again. But now it's like the thought of, the thought of even having to move out of this current house is so exhausting to me, which I've never felt before. Normally it was always like, couldn't wait, couldn't wait. But now it's like whatever next house I get, it's like I've told my family, like it has to be the right one because we will. It can't be this one.

I refuse to. It's not for sale. No, no. The one you're in right now. No, I'm renting it. Oh, you're renting. Yeah, and I would stay renting, but girl, kid, she's like, we need to be settled. Like, I need to know that I can paint a Puerto Rican flag on the wall if I want to. Sure, sure, sure. And I'm like, I get it. You can do that, by the way.

I mean, you're rich. You can fucking paint it. That's what I told her. You can buy an extra fucking gallon of paint. That's what I told her. You get some eggshell to paint over that fucking Puerto Rican flag. I told her, I was like, but do you understand the way this works? Like, we're renting now and it's fine. I was like, I have no problem with that. I was like, if we buy a house I can't afford, I'm going to lose the fucking house too. Like, you're just renting from the bank. Yeah. With these interest rates. So I was like, you know, what do you want to do? So I keep just trying to convince her to move to a place that we can afford, but she's just being a fucking woman and not,

You can afford a lot of stuff. You're playing Madison Square Garden. Yeah, but it's fun. I'll tell you off air what you actually... You don't make what you think you make. I know. Yeah, that's true. That's true. But the point stands, though, that you're not fucking... You know what I mean? Like... No...

- No, but it does feel at times like this business is like changing so much. And it's like, I used to know like, okay, I know what I'm gonna, I know what's gonna happen for me in these, you know, next couple of years. But then it's like, now it's like, I actually don't know anymore. Ticket sales are weird, pods are weird. These things are always evolving. So I'm like, why don't we just like stay safe and like not live within our means? But she's like, hello, I'm not with you. I'm with you.

fucking let's go crazy. Right, right, right. Well, you definitely should live within your means. I think it's more of a psychological, you don't want to fucking admit you're just a settled old man. Man, maybe. I think it's like, you like, because you fought, you're in a great situation from an outsider's perspective, right? Right.

You still refer to the mother of your children as your girl. You know what I mean? Like, you've been together for a decade. We are engaged now. Oh, wow. That's huge. Every time I say the word fiancé, I feel a little cum come out of my butt. Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, so let's start the, put the over-under at four years until they actually get married. Let's set the over-under at 2020, 2030 when we'll be attending, when I'll be at fucking Chris's wedding in Staten Island. Yes. I'm not getting married until we fully acquire Greenland.

I don't know. That's my read. That's true. There's truth to it. Because if you're fucking moving around, it's kind of crazy to be moving around with little ass kids. Yes. And you're just doing it. You're like, well, no, I'm still a fucking young guy. I'm not married. Yeah, I got kids, but I can go. If I don't like the molding in a house, fuck it.

You know what it is too? Like, because like, it's what it is. I had kids. I had them at 30. But for comedians, like I almost feel like I'm fortunate, but I'm like, I had them too young because now I'm more, now I'm more settled. Insanity. No, but now I'm more settled at 40. I'm like, oh, why would I move my kids anymore? But it's like at 30, when I was like 32, I was just like,

You know, let's fucking run around. You know, I was like, I was like a coke head without ever doing coke. Yeah, yeah. His kids, he's going to be, his kids are going to be meeting people later. They're going to be like, so your dad, you moved, like, your dad was in the military? He's like, no, my dad was Chris DeStefano. No, he was on MTV2's Guy Code. No, yes, I was. I was in the Army of God. Check out my dad's name. Yeah.

Yeah, you just can't move in. But I feel more settled now, but I do got to find a fucking house. But these goddamn, the housing market, at least in the New York area, I mean, every real estate agent you talk to, they're like, it's as bad as it's ever been, is right now. So I bought a house during the absolute best time in the last hundred years. You sold it. And then I sold it

The absolute worst time to ever sell it. Now I'm trying to buy back in at the absolute worst time in the last century. So it's what is. I'm Chrissy Good Decisions. You're a real estate mush. So for God's sakes, please come see me September 11, 2025 at Madison Square Garden.

That's fucking hilarious, man. His house was bought by a Muslim family. That's it. It was just another crusade that we lost. Here's the kind of block I lived on in Staten Island. I'm not kidding. So when I sold this, they were very upset. I lived on a block in Staten Island where for the first six months of me living there, I had to tell them that Jasmine was in fact Italian and not Puerto Rican. I just told them all she was Sicilian. Jesus Christ. Because then they go,

'Cause when you tell Italian guys, they're like, "Oh, Sicilian, dark skinned, she's dark skinned." I say, "Yeah, she's Sicilian." And then one day for a party, her entire busload of Puerto Rican family came over and then the jig was up and then they were fine. And then T.T. Jerry came over and that was a big problem. Then it's like I brought transgender Puerto Ricans up the hill and they're like, "What the fuck?"

So then I sold it, and then my neighbor, as just a last act of defiance, I sold it to a full Palestinian family. That's awesome. I just fucking got out of there. Good for you, man. And I was like, that's for Gaza, motherfucker. That's good. That's legitimately awesome. I love that. And I just drove away as they were just loading up their rifles. And I watched them all put American flags outside their house as soon as I drove away. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The gambling mentality is like you want to lose subconsciously so then you can win again because the whole thrill is about being down so you can get up. So that's the thrill. Yeah, I hated the... I gambled a little bit when I was younger and I just hate...

It is an intense feeling, but you feel it really in the pit of your stomach. And I could see it, just because you want to feel anything, the way fucking people almost... It's like a masochist thing almost. But I couldn't. It was too much for me, man. I just don't gamble anymore. But it does feel good when you win.

I don't have a gambling thing, but when you do win, you can see how people get hooked in. That feeling. Free money? You're like, oh, yeah. Absolutely. It speaks to some part of your brain that it's a high. Oh, it's beautiful. Let's go back in again. Let's go back in again. So clearly we have two experts, two men who are dealing with family life in very different ways. Right. Two great perspectives, fatherly perspectives. Also, you know what?

having a family and kids and being a comedian is challenging. Yes. It's challenging in a way that... We are one of the most persecuted minorities. Yeah, we are. We really are. Being a white man in comedy and having a family is not easy. It's not easy being a white guy in America with children. Being relatively good looking, being healthy, it's not good. It's tough. We're trying to take our free speech. Definitely everyone who complains about that doesn't have 100 million dollars. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, you know, it's like musicians go and they tour and then they're home. Comedians, we tour for two days, come back or like, you know, or tour for a couple of weeks. And you like having kids and doing that is very difficult because normal people go to work, they come home, they see their kids every day.

When you're touring and you come back and then your daughter's like a little taller. Right. Especially when they're young. It's very tough. Like my friend has a fucking two and a half year old and her husband like travels for work and it's like...

He'll be gone for like not a long time, five days. And it's like this motherfucker's picked up a new skill. Yeah, 100%. You missed like... It's very tough. You missed him understanding past tense. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like it's crazy. Well, dude, and then they get older. Like my oldest one, my daughter is nine. And now it'll be like...

I have to go away next week. I have to promote my Hulu special coming out February 21st on Hulu, or it's probably been out for eight months. It's been out for a while now. Yeah, it's been out for a year. And it's doing great. But I have to go. Oh, Let's Start a Cult also has been out on Hulu for a little longer. Oh, yeah. I just saw that. Congrats. I'm going to watch that. Good shit. Yep. But my daughter, she goes, so I have to be gone from February 10th to the 16th.

And she goes, my daughter's like, oh, I was like, you know, daddy has work, you know, whatever, doing this and that. She's like, great. She's like, so another Valentine's Day you're going to miss with me. And then I'm just like, fucking shit. And then I just start to get mad. I'm like, well, I have to do the show in San Francisco because your mother wants a house in fucking Westchester.

You just start getting it. Yeah, yeah. That's smart. Well, I love that strategy. I think I need the passive aggressiveness I really like from you, the kind of emotional immaturity and passive aggressiveness. And so let's see if we can apply some of this great advice, not just to your daughters, but to my children, the people who call into Stavi's world. So let's see what we got here. I'll just play us a couple questions. Hey, Stavi. Hey, Elvis.

and hey guests uh thank you for always having an awesome show i have a question for you so i've been married maybe 14 years 13 years 13 years and with her about 15. um okay the opposite i'm not sure about what late 30s women are reading right now it's books i can best describe as

fairy porn. Yes. And my wife is reading these books like crazy. And she's getting more and more sexual, which is great. She's asking how to spice things up.

What do I do here? What she's in a fairy porn like she's into these Romantic II books. I mean like do I have to read them to see what these like? Fairies and elves are doing you have to read them. I mean I know how to fuck your life. Yeah put the fucking elf head on

I mean, your wife is getting more horny and you got a problem? Yeah, dude. I've gotten fucked. All I want to do is pork my wife. But I can't get to her because there's baby toys everywhere. What's the fucking problem here?

Yeah. Dude, what are you talking about? How to spice things up? Go to the fucking bidet, get a piece of banana bread, and go wild. Just sit on it. Just sit on it. Dude, go to Amazon, get yourself a fucking fairy costume, and put your wife's face on your dick. That's how she wants to get fucked. You do it, dude. Get a sword handle, but the end is a dildo. Yes. And fucking fuck her like that. You know what I mean? That's it. Tire a couple little people, throw them in elf costumes, and go wild. What's the fuck?

Seriously, dude. Listen, dude, either you can fuck your wife or Peter Dinklage will. It's up to you, man. And don't ask me because, you know, like you even talked about it, Stavi, like, oh, it gives relationship advice. Here's my life. I just recently got engaged like three weeks ago and I looked on the nightstand last night and Jasmine was reading a book that's called Single on Purpose. Ha ha ha!

I don't really have the answer. This is interesting, though. Like, the romantic... Like, these romance novels. I think that is a thing. A lot of women are reading sort of like... It's big. I guess it's always been big. Like, growing up, it was always... The joke was, like, the Fabio-style romance novel covers. Yeah.

It's just that. I mean, women have always... This is pornography for women. Yeah, that's what it is. It's always like the most heinous shit you could ever think of. It's always like some knight kidnapped or a cowboy. It's different flavors. Some is cowboy, some is... But it's always genre-based and it's always like sort of sexual assault. Yeah, they're not... Like it's weird. They're not visual. Women are not visual. It's about the narrative. And so I would say picking up from this guy...

What I am picking up is an almost... An insane lack of aggression in every way. No assertiveness, no nothing. He's been with this woman for 15 years and he's like, aw, shucks, how do I fuck her? Let me call these guys on a podcast. What guys...

What do I do? Yeah. And so what she's looking, more so than putting on a fucking Robin Hood costume, you gotta fucking just kind of be a little more aggressive. Yes. A little more assertive. You have to like try and be, and look, you're clearly been bottling up your resentments. You're too much of a coward to bring them up. I can tell that from his voice.

Fuck them out. Yes. She's annoying. You know what I mean? Like, is she... Come on, dude. What does she do to piss you off? Give me some examples of wife stuff. Take some alpha brain and fuck your wife. Yeah. What are some wife pet peeves that you guys have, for example, that we can tell them? Jesus Christ. I mean, she's annoyed as soon as I wake up. Yeah. You know, like...

I don't know. It's like, yeah, I'm sorry, hon. I'm sorry that all I'm trying to do is give you and the family everything they've ever dreamt of. Let's maybe be more general and not exactly... You know, like, yeah, get mad at her for when she's pissed off you're going to Levity Live on a Wednesday. We're looking for more general advice than your life. Yeah, um...

I bet you she's probably fucking pissed at him because he's on his phone. I'm like, well, I fucking work on the phone. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that not everyone can just fucking spin, honey. We're getting closer. That's more of a universal stress. So I would say, yeah, on the phone is probably something that's pissing him off.

She's probably always bitching at that. She's probably asking him why he's, why, you know, if his show's ended at 10, why he's home at 1130. And we're back. We're back to sort of, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, I don't know, there was traffic on the major ticket and also I went to a fucking massage parlor. You know what I mean?

I'm stressed. It's a legitimate one. It's a legitimate one. They don't jack you off a massage envy. It's a procedure. My penis is part of my body. It's an organ. I have to have a procedure done. But yeah, dude, I think that I'm sure that I'm sure she's probably just like bitching at him like that they don't have enough. They should be doing better. Women are always...

Jeff Bezos' wife will be like, you cannot... I begged you to get off to a more general example. And this is so clearly in the middle of your head. They sold the house on Stan Allen. It's like, you agreed to it, bitch!

All right. Anyway, whatever is annoying you, take it out on her in the bedroom. Yeah. You know, I think you got to get a little angrier here. This is, she's kind of, that's my hunch anyway. I don't know. See what she said. But these are, that's what these books are like. You don't have to,

Read them if you want to just kind of see how you want to behave. You don't got to. She just wants you to manhandle her a little bit. That's it. Maybe wear a fucking costume. And I actually don't know if she wants to wear a costume because it might be one of those things like she wants that in her little section of her brain for her. And she wants him to be different. True. So there's one solution to all this.

Women are always overcomplicating. Oh my God, elves, I'm doing this. Just eat her pussy and you're good. Really, just all you gotta do is eat her pussy. But with command. Eat her pussy like you mean it. And do it from the back where you get the asshole and the puss at the same time. Just fucking eat her pussy. There we go, finally. Finally, some good advice. All right, well good luck, buddy.

We're rooting for you. I mean, they deserve that. Women do. You got to admit, they carry us for nine months. Yes. They get their pussies ripped open and stitched back up. They get these children to suck on their tits, ruin their tits forever, ruin their body. The least we can do is eat her pussy. I agree. The least you can do is eat their pussy and not get a blowjob once a year. Yeah.

When I see how great my wife is with my kids, I'm like, this is what, I'll just eat her pussy. I love it. Now the FBI's involved. Yeah. They're like, oh, when he sees his kids, he thinks of eating his pussy. I love tracking Chris's relationship with appearances on Stavi's World. Where are you at now, Chris? Well, I just bought a house in the Poconos.

Like the stuff he's been mad about over the last three years. I don't like the final, the last version will be you just starting the pod because I woke up sleeping on your couch. Yeah.

I live in the studio. The great thing about being friends with Chris is you get the stories of someone who's lived 20 years in two days. He's got a lot of stories. A lot happens in two days. In two days, yeah. All right, so eat some pussy. Be forceful about it. Good luck, little buddy. What else we got, Eldis? Oh, where are we, Eldis? How did we get here? I'm feeling...

I feel like we just... Maybe what we did was... Oh, we kept it too twisted. We kept it so twisted and we got from Queens to the basement of a Chicago home we're staying at. Whoa, we're keeping it twisted as a mother-effing bitch. Uh-huh. Oh, it's time to keep it twisted with some delicious half-and-half. By the way, purchased with my own dollars. This wasn't sent to me by the Twisted Tea Corporation. Mm-hmm.

Oh, man, I can't wait to keep it motherfucking twisted as hell, Elders. I guess we've traveled dimensions.

Oh, yeah. To promote the Twisted Tea Corporation and keep it twisted as a motherfucker? Absolutely. We need to help someone who has a really fucked up problem today. Is it a really fucked up, twisted-ass, motherfucking question of the week? Oh, yeah. Welcome to the motherfucking-ass, twisted question of the goddamn week, baby. Sponsored by Twisted Tea. Travel edition.

Yes, that's right. Our producer forgot to record the right amount of twisted tea ads. So here we are really late before we have to check out of an Airbnb to keep it twisted because somebody can't read a schedule. You got to keep up in this fast-paced media landscape, man. Someone was keeping it too twisted when he was scheduling all our recordings, it seems like.

But hey, we're in the twisted zone right now. We're keeping it twisted as a motherfucking badge. And let's find out who we're going to help and what the twisted ass motherfucking ass question of the goddamn week travel edition is.

Stavi, LD, what's going on boys and esteemed guests, can't forget them. Got a little bit of a situation. Last night my girlfriend, she was getting back from a week-long vacation. I was supposed to pick her up at the airport at midnight. About 10:30 rolls around, I sat down to charge my phone and next thing you know I wake up at 2:00 a.m. She wasn't very happy.

I'm getting a silent treatment today, giving me the cold shoulder, telling me she'll talk to me when she's ready. Wow. What do you boys think I should do? I'm between a rock and a hard place. You know, I know I fucked up, but also I don't know where to go from here. Any advice is appreciated. Much love to you boys as always. And let's go Ravens. Peace. This guy kept it way too fucking twisted. Keep it twisted. Charge your phone.

Buddy, what the fuck are you talking about? You're in a car, dickhead. You charge your phone in the car. Well, didn't he say he was supposed to go get her and he was like at...

Okay, it's 1030. He's got to pick the... First of all, this man's keeping it twisted as hell because when did this happen in the chronology of this call? Like the day before? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this guy's like, look, I fucking tried everything. He can't even give his girlfriend one day to be mad. You left your girlfriend at the airport at fucking... It wasn't the middle of the day. It's fucking 2 a.m. It's weird in an airport at fucking 1 a.m., 2 a.m. You're probably not answering your phone.

You kept it too fucking twisted, chief. You should have dialed it back a little. You weren't even... Your excuse wasn't even that you were having a delicious ice cold twisted tea? Boo. You just took a nap? P-p-pussy. Pussy that fucking doesn't love his girlfriend.

That's my verdict. Maybe I'm keeping it twisted as fuck tonight. Maybe she's keeping it twisted on him. Maybe she's twisting up and down on another man's prick because this guy didn't get her in time from the airport. Maybe she's keeping it so twisted this was the misstep she was praying for. Right. We've all been there.

She's like, I'm sick of his fucking ass. You're like, fuck. I need something that'll spark the narrative. My feelings have been gone for months. And she's like, thank you. She was like, I didn't think it'd be something this easy. I'm going to hold this over him instead of just getting a fucking Uber or something. I know. I mean, that's, look, it is true.

Just get a... First of all, get a fucking Uber. Who are we kidding with this airport bullshit? The airport... I mean, I guess who knows what town they live in, but... New York City, bro...

Like, would I even pick my mother up from, I guess my mom is the one person. Keep it twisted. But if I'm keeping it all the way twisted, no, she can't. I'll get her an Uber Black. I'll fucking spring for the, she'll come in in a Lincoln Navigator, but I'm keeping it twisted at home, dude. Going to JFK from fucking Queens. Now we're getting a little too inside New York City. But now he might live in a shitty little town with a little dick ass.

where it might be hard to get a, I mean, still, the airport is the one place you can get a fucking car no matter what. Now, you kept it too twisted. You're keeping it twisted to the double max by being kind. His voice, he sounded annoyed that she was mad at him. I know. He's like, look, I get it, but I'm getting the silent treatment. It's been eight hours. Yeah. Like, she ostensibly went to sleep.

So I guess, you know, she doesn't get home till fucking 4 a.m. She's fucking hitchhiking. I am. I am curious if she just waited there until 2 a.m. when he fucking woke up. But I would assume no. But you never fucking know.

She probably waited a bit. Yeah. I mean, you probably waited an hour. Yeah, yeah. It's also like, what if something happens? She's probably also kind of worried. That's what kind of compounds this, is if this happens and you ask your significant other to pick you up and they don't answer their phone and you're calling, because she's probably calling like, hey, he doesn't answer. She's also probably like, fuck, is he in a car accident? Yeah. And then it's like, oh, no, he just, also 1030, what were you doing, buddy? Yeah.

What's your job? Were you a foreman? Were you on the construction site since 4 a.m.? Yeah. You kept it too twisted. What do you do from here?

I don't know, man. You just kind of... You probably give it one more day and it's probably okay. You kind of shot... Look, you kept it too twisted even calling us, to be honest with you. Yeah. You got to give that one a little time. Give it a second, you motherfucker. It's kind of annoying, but... Yeah. Or... Or maybe she kept it twisted. Maybe she's keeping it too twisted. This guy's already fucking... Doesn't even have a girlfriend anymore. This... You're so right. This could easily become a thing where it's like...

You know, I just, at that moment, I realized I'll never be a priority. And I know you didn't mean it, and I know you're tired. Like, if she hates him, she's so good here, dude. Yeah. This is unimpeachable excuse to break up with someone. Yeah. Um...

I would say, you know what the problem is? This guy's in the keep it twisted no man's land. You either got to fucking really dial it up and keep it twisted and be like, get off my back, you fucking bitch. I work. You were on fucking vacation. I was at fucking work trying to pay for your fucking shit. If it goes more than one day, I say turn the dial up and get even more twisted or turn the dial all the way down and just be like,

Oh, okay. Like she wants to give you a sauna treatment? You're good. Go out, get some ice cold Twisted Teas with the boys.

You might attract your next mate. Yeah, your options are get a twisted tea with her and squash the beef. Right. Or say fuck her and get a twisted tea with the guys. And you know, it wasn't meant to be with this bitch anyway. Amen, brother. I don't think I could have said it any better myself, Eldis. And that'll do it for this week's twisted ass motherfucking question of the week. Let's get back to Chris DiStefano and Giannis Papas.

Oh, what the fuck? Oh, no. Keep it twisted. What else we got, Eldis? Hey, what's up, Stav, Eldis, esteemed guests or guests. Long time, first time.

So, listen, I'm an emergency room doc in Baltimore, and I'm calling in, I think, with maybe more of a serious or even you could even say kind of a bummer of a question, but really curious to kind of hear your thoughts and get your advice, especially as a local guy. I've worked here a number of years now. I live in the area. I'm not from here, but I've certainly settled in.

And listen, I love my job. I love being an ER doc. I love taking care of the people in Baltimore. A lot of gunshot wounds. But I'll be honest with you, man. It's rough, and I work in a rough neighborhood. And I'm sorry to say, I'm starting to feel some professional burnout, to put it in the lingo. You know, there's only so many overdoses you can see and abuse and violence before it really starts to get to you. Don't get me wrong.

I'd much rather be the doctor than the patient, be on my side of the stretcher, and I'm grateful for every day I have in my career.

and things are good generally. Sounds like a suicide. I'm just trying to feel that burnout. When someone starts saying, I'm grateful every day that I have. Yeah. When he starts talking like he's fucking, you know, like a, like he just, you know, survived an overdose. Yeah. Um, that's, that's a tough when you're just like, and you know, it's just about the, the, the, you were all just matter, man. We're all just part of this whole system. Um, keep going. Let's see what he, he just seems depressed, but let's see what he's got. Generally.

But I'm just starting to feel that burnout and working in the American healthcare system, as you might imagine, kind of sucks. So listen, I'm just looking for some tips, advice, your perspective. I'd be curious to hear. Where do I go from here? I am ashamed to say I'm thinking about career change long term, but not just yet. But part of me wants to kind of fix the system. Bye.

Bottom-up top-down. I'm not sure. Well, yeah looking for your advice on the manifesto If you're looking at American health care system, are you familiar with a man named Luigi Mangione? I'm doing the voice

the voicemail. I would have known that that's Luigi and this is actual evidence. Dude, I would love if we found a voicemail from Luigi. Hey Stav, I'm thinking I got some back problems. I've been rejected from healthcare. It seems kind of counterintuitive. These guys are allowed to murder through spreadsheets. By the way, we would have told Luigi, we would have been like,

Legally, we can't tell you what to do, but sounds like you're on the right track. I'd encourage you to go to betterhelp.com. No, no, no. They sell their patients information. Oh, okay. BetterHelp. We're pro-therapy. We're anti-BetterHelp. Oh, pro-therapy, baby. We are, for sure. Oh, you're saying you're just pro-

Going and finding therapy. I thought that was it. Everything's an ad read for me. Yeah, yeah. Well, all those companies just, they have to make money somehow. And it's like, they're just stealing your information. Oh, yeah. I didn't know that. Which is like, you know, hilarious to do for mental health. But, okay. Yeah.

So this guy is an ER doctor. He's burnt. And it's like... And I get where he's coming from fully, right? This fucking job sucks. Especially in Baltimore. It sucks. It's like gunshot wound, gang related. Any ER position, even if you're not involved... It's like being like... I'm feeling kind of burned out. I'm tired of seeing emergencies and abuse. And it's like being like, well, I just like...

I'm so tired of lunch meets and it's like, but I work at Subway. It's just like you've picked, you work at the...

uh, tragedy factory. Right. And it's like, yeah, you're sad. Right. You know what I mean? It's like, it's like, I, it's like being like vegan and working at a slaughterhouse. Like, you're just like, you have a shitty job that sucks dick that we don't like pay enough. Well, here's the deal. I don't know if you guys know, number one profession that commits suicide is doctors. Yeah. I heard doctors and dentists and all that kind of shit. Yeah. Cops. Uh,

No, they do. They commit suicide a lot of cops. Well, because the internal investigations is closing in on them. Because they could have swore they erased the body cam footage, but it turns out there was a backup on the cloud. Yeah.

My daughter's godfather's an ER doctor, and he would always say, like, how you think that after 10, 15, he's been doing it like 15 years now, but he's like, you think, like, oh, it'll just, like, get easier to, like, have to tell a family member, like, hey, so-and-so didn't make it. He's like, but it just doesn't. It's just hard. He was like, it's just hard. But the reason why the only...

The positive thing about being an ER doctor, obviously nothing to do with the work you have to do, is they're the only doctors, like, they work a shift, like a nine to five, where other doctors are, like, on call always. So he was like, at least I feel like as an ER doctor, it definitely sucks, but I can escape it. I'd be like, you can't get in touch with me for a week. Where if you're, like, a surgeon, you got to...

You're getting sucked into it at all times. Yeah. Well, and exactly. Like, that's crazy he's been an ER doctor that long. That's fucking nuts. We're the same age. And I'm like, you're so much fucking... I mean, this kid was the youngest person to run an ER in all of New York City. That's crazy. He was like 30 years old running the ER where I was like, you know, fucking trying to figure out how to sell out the Maui taco. Yeah, dude. I mean, and so I think the... I don't think there's any shame...

In being... In doing this job for... Like, these are the kinds of jobs that, to me, this should be the kind of thing where you almost do tours of duty. And it's like... The way it's like... You can't go... You can only go to war this many times. Why do you have to do this forever? You have this narrative in your head that, like, you did it. You did a great thing. Of course. Change your career. And that you're a failure for... Like, no, dude. First of all, you're in medicine. If you want to... If you... And yes...

the fucking American healthcare system is a fucking nightmare, right? And so, you know, all you can do, it's not a problem to look for a fucking career change long term. I've had people in my family who were nurses in the ER and then were like, I did this for a while. It's too, I want to fucking have a family. I want to do this. It's too stressful. And then they got like jobs that are like,

You know, you work at a fucking optometrist's office or you work at a fucking, but you know, you're a podiatrist. You're fucking getting insoles for people instead of wounds. Yeah, and I'm sure, I don't know what kind of lifestyle he lives, but ER doctors make good money. Right. But I'm sure like you're a very intelligent guy. You could, even if you're making less money, you'll be happier doing something else it seems. For sure. Or else you're going to start, or else you're going to be the doctor that cuts the wrong leg off. Yeah.

You keep taking the stress into work. Yeah, everything in this seems normal to me except I want to change it from the top down. He says they want to fix the system.

- Yeah, don't start thinking like that. - You're not, dude. - Nobody can fix anything. - And you also, the thing is too, it's also like this-- - Don't start thinking that way. - It's like these delusions of grandeur. It's like, dude, you run an ER in Baltimore. Nobody cares, just stop. - These guys are heroes to me. Them, nurses, cops, they have difficult jobs. I think you're right. Have an expiration date, move on.

Become a pediatrician after this or something. And listen, you can't, yes. Make it easier. Top-down change you're not doing unless you are a CEO of Cold Blood. Yeah, don't do that. Don't do that. We're mixed. The podcast is mixed on that, right? I'm saying no violence. Point, counterpoint, you know. I would say they commit unspeakable violence even though they're wearing suits. They do, but more violence isn't the answer. I don't know.

in the balance. It's like a little violence to take down a lot of violence. A lot of people got approved that next week. Luigi saved a lot of lives those two weeks. UnitedHealthcare was not turning down any chemo for two weeks after Luigi went Luigi mode. Anyway. You think he's like the John Brown of the healthcare system? I think it's not. I literally, for real, don't think it was. I mean, it was not good to me.

someone but it's like yeah because we're getting to the point oh it's the system so that ceo is just a sure but the you know that's a system that has completely escaped any responsibility for what they do and in fact we laud these people for you know they're cutting costs but it's like that means human life is like well that is true they legitimately kill people for money yeah it's right and so

That, like, to me, it actually, just forcing this conversation of, is one guy worse than saying, oh, we have to up our profits 2%, so...

We're actually not... Insulin is now 800% more expensive than 40,000 people or whatever number. Like, is that... I really don't think killing one guy is worse than how healthcare companies, you know, operate on a day-to-day basis, personally, right? And at least having that conversation...

And obviously, I don't want a fucking guy to die, but I don't want the people that were rejected by health insurance companies to die either, right? So either, whatever. But we also need a longer conversation about...

the health of this country, the processed foods, what's allowed, preventative care. I mean, we are the number one country in preventable fucking disease. And I agree. And my argument would be that... Which puts a burden on the healthcare system, which makes it tough. But my argument is profits at all costs. And let's be honest. We're letting these people live too long. If you're 85, 50...

Think about the young people. 85's kind of tough. Move a plug. 85's kind of tough. You know, like, we'll be keeping you alive for on a machine. Yeah. Say your prayers, go to church, and put them out on a boat. We can do it in a fun way. Yeah, fun way. Big catapult. Yeah, just catapult. You know? Yeah. Just like a jackass movie for elderly people where you just fucking launch them. Yeah.

I mean, you know how expensive it is to keep some of these people alive? Oh, yeah. I know it's a difficult situation. No, definitely. But either way, the point is... I'm joking. I think old people should die if they want to also. That's another belief I have. Oh, yeah, yeah. Let them do the assisted suicide all day. Put them in that cool Danish pod.

where you get the load up on drugs dude there's no consequences give him one of those Japanese dick sucking machines yeah the Chinese sperm extractor yeah exactly the Chinese sperm extractor so we've got a lot I've got one on Teemu yeah you better hurry the tariffs are coming Chris oh yeah so anyway the point is we have you know competing ideas of how to affect change at the highest levels right but Stavros is going

We're CEO. Yeah, yeah. But, and I agree that most people are not cut out for that. Stubborn is in for a long four years. He is holding on for fucking dear life. It's going to be tough, but it's whatever.

Now, but I do think you could make small changes and like, yes, are we going to, are we realistically in our lifetime going to get the ideal system that we'd like? But no, probably, right? But as a doctor, if you open your own practice and you decide

You know help people out with their you you see people who don't have insurance like when I didn't have insurance I got I went to a doctor who fucking worked with me. I need an MRI when I fucked my foot up I didn't have it was right before shit was going good for me I didn't have fucking money and this guy was just like look insurance over fucking they've really you know, they charge two grand for these things It doesn't cost us that if you can just come here and wait around and

And just when, if we have a cancellation or we have in between, we can just do your thing real fast. We'll do it to you for $250, right? And in fact, I found when I didn't have insurance, doctors were cool about working with you and figuring it out. If you could do your time, essentially, you know, your time here doing a good thing and getting burnt out. And then what if you started your own practice where you did help people out and you treated people with the kind of respect. That would be changing the system. That would be the changing system. That's what I mean. Like, don't think about the whole system.

Think about what you can do. Exactly. And so there's no... And this weird shame... You shouldn't... I think we're all confused why he's like ashamed to be burned out. It makes sense to be fucking burned out. I was a fucking tutor in Baltimore City for a year and I stopped because it was fucking sad and I also realized like...

I can't, you have to commit yourself so fully to this that it can't be the kind of part-time job you do while you actually care about stand-up. Right, right, right. So it's like, yeah, working in these, or being a teacher, like, these are tough jobs to do. You can't be in the ER forever. Dude, and I'll tell you, I don't know if you ever, have you guys ever gotten, like, hurt and had to go to the doctor or hospital in another country? No?

Not Albania. Yeah, I have. So what was your experience? Was it good? Incredible. Dude, I got an infection in my finger randomly just chewing my nails in England. That happens to me all the time. In like 2012. I think it was 2012.

And so my finger was like blowing up, like my finger. And then it went to my wrist and to my elbow. It was like just a situation. How the fuck? It just was like a real like nasty infection. Yeah, like I couldn't even close my hand. And I was only in England for like four days. I still was going to be there for like another 10 days. Like I had no money back then. Why were you there? I was doing the V Festival. It was like one of those things I like paid my own way out there. It was me and Mike Lawrence. Did you guys hook up?

Oh, yeah. And we were staying in a house, like, in the outskirts of London from, like, some, like, older comic, whatever. So I had to, like, call my mom. Like, I didn't actually know what to do. And she was like, honestly, just go to the ER right now, and whatever it is, you call me, and I'll just, I'll wire you the money. Like, thinking, like, my mom was like, this costs you $10,000, because we're thinking American system. Of course. She's like, I'll just give you the money. Like, you have an infection, it could go to your heart and whatever. Right.

So I was like, okay, so I go in there and I can't even hold a pen because my hand is like all fucked up. And so I go and the ER, it's like a little desk and I'm like, hey, like, you know, I have an infection in my finger. And she was like, oh Lord. And I was like, yeah. And she was like, just fill out your information. So I fill out my information, my left hand. So it's not, it is not legible. You cannot read what I'm doing. And I'm putting like my address, my mom's address.

And it's just all, I don't even have, I don't even know the address where I'm staying in England. And I give it to them. They go, that's fine. And then the doctor is just there, like behind the desk. And he goes, you know, full scrubs. And he goes, what's going on? I was like, oh, my infection in my finger. He goes, let me see it. So he showed it. He goes, that's an infection. And I said, yeah. He goes, are you allergic to penicillin? I said, no. He was like, you sure? And I was like, no. He goes, all right, come around here. So he opens a door, like just a little thing. And I go in and he gives me a shot of penicillin. Like almost, I'm talking about within 90 seconds.

He gives me a shot of penicillin in my arm. And then I don't even have to go to the pharmacy. He just gives me 30 days of penicillin. And then I say, this is it. He goes, this is it. Just take that. I have to sign one form. And then I'm leaving. And they go, oh, sir, come back. And I'm like, here we go. And I'm thinking, I swear to God, I was pulling out my phone to call my mom to be like, explain to me. They came back and they said, also, we just found gonorrhea. So that penicillin is going to be a two for one.

We assume you know you have SCD. But this takes care of that. But they gave me, they came back to say, they gave me 20 pounds to take a cab home.

And I was not even a citizen of the time. And so is that an isolated incident where I just maybe yes, maybe no, but I know for a fact in the United States, if I was not a U.S. citizen and I tried to walk into our ER and do that, that would not happen. No. And look, again, I do think healthcare is a fucking human right the way we have like

Running water... The government takes care of water. It takes care of fucking roads. It takes care of these basic things. Not only is it a right, but it's also just better for your society if people aren't fucking worried about going into medical. You know what I mean? Yeah. Just from a cold, rational... Your workforce is healthier if you have fucking... I will say this. You know, healthcare. First of all, I just want to say this, guy. I was a social worker, and the last...

day i where i was like i i felt like this so i i had to put on a full hazmat suit to go clean out i worked in an sro which is like formerly homeless people i had to clean out a guy's uh room because he had bed bugs and i had to put a full hazmat suit on and that was the day where i was like i can't do this i just can't do so it happens it happens and there's no nothing to be ashamed of but here is also what i say from learning from that is poor people in this country do have health care

That's the thing. The rich people... I had the best healthcare when I was on Medicare. Yeah, when you're poor, you get everything. So it's like, because I worked with all those people. It's a little hard. The system is a little hard to navigate, though.

Kind of, but I mean, you're covered. They don't make it easy for you to get it. No, but you're covered. I mean, that's the thing. We do have socialized medicine in this country. One thing America does really well is you're covered in theory a lot of the times. But it's like there's a lot, there's wait lists. They make it very Byzantine for you to get some of this healthcare. Like I was a comedian. I was a college-educated comedian.

broke comedian with nothing but time on my hands. So I could just wait around, fucking get my... But it took a while even for me to get like Medicaid. And I will say that

Some of these resources are possible, but it's like people don't have the... Especially if you're fucking working jobs or like they have these programs like childcare that in theory are available, but the wait lists are really long. Like we have that problem a lot with our administration. It varies. I mean, yeah, it varies. It depends on the state you're in, the city you're in, whatever. But they do...

you know, have healthcare. They do have, you know, they get things paid for, you know, the, the problem is you go, should we expand that? Cause the people who really get fucked in this country are middle class. Cause the rich can afford it. So they don't worry the poor covered cause they're poor. It's the middle that pays everything. The middle that can't hide their taxes, the middle that pays the tag. So it's like, that's the real issue in my end. Well, yeah. I mean, it's like, do we expand the,

you know, Medicaid to expand it, to cover the middle class. And I say, yeah, yeah, I say, yeah, yeah. Medicare for all. Shout out to Bernie. You guys made the right choice and our president's going to do that. But it's also complicated because, you know, you do this thing where you go...

He's got to sell out MSG on 9-11. Chris cannot fucking, he cannot get Staten Island mad at him right now. You guys are all in. And you guys know the real dudes, too. The pre-sale is still happening. Pre-sale code 1776. Chris wants no part of this. Expand socialized medicine conversation. I'm like, these guys are freaking out.

Chris doesn't want to have the how much do we expand the welfare state. He's like, no, you got to get in line. Our families came here legally through Italy. Forget the part where we idolize murderers and criminals and watch movies about...

stabbing your friends in the back. I could promise you guys my... Says the guy who just says, Luigi for president. Yeah. Not for president. Maybe secretary of labor. Secretary of health and human services. Luigi Mangione. Hey, come on. I'm a moderate.

She's not president. No, it's mostly true. But, you know, when you do work in that field, you realize like a lot of people just can't be helped. When you were a social worker, you realize a lot of it is just like –

changing medications, saying, hey, a lot of people, a lot of, SROs were meant to take people off the street and give them, you know, rooms, you know, government paid for rooms, and they do that well. It's a great idea. New York has it. But a lot of these people I worked with would go back out on the street. Yeah, sure. Like, they just, like, like being on the street. Yeah, you can smoke crackies, you get some pussy. People choose, they choose. It's choose, so it's, yeah, and like, you know, you do see a lot of, Seems more fun than being in a,

- Yeah, and you do see a lot of waste. You do see a lot of like, what do you do in this situation? It's very complicated. - Yeah, absolutely. All right, well, you know, whatever guy, you're fine. - Don't do anything radical, guy. - Just open a nice little fucking mom and pop doctor's office.

and help people out when they can't, you know, except Tamales' payment. And don't ask too many questions about how they got into the country and don't snitch. Lock the doors when ice comes around and you're a good guy. - You're a good dude. - Except, no, Chris. - All right, all right, no, yeah. Fuck you, dude, hey. Come see my show September 11th. Migrants get tickets last.

Chris, we're trying to move tickets, man. Come on. We need the Bridge and Tunnel Boys in. We love you guys. We need them complaining how it's hard to park around MSG. I was just in Disney World, and I'll tell you, those costume Disney characters are not taking their heads off for four years.

They are going to keep those things on. No more smoke breaks. They are staying in the Goofy outfits. Goofy's working construction now. They're taking them. My favorite is when the adults try to talk to the costume characters, and I'm going, you know they don't speak English, right? Goofy is not American. Yeah, this is either a recent immigrant or a child. There's no in-between. No, there's no labor laws. You're trying to talk to Goofy, and the guy's just talking about how Venezuela's collapsing.

He's like, we don't have anything at all. What else we got, Elders? Oh, we have a good kid. Hey, Savvy. I have a question to you, Greek to Greek. There we go. So I grew up in a Greek and Italian household, split 50-50. My dad's 100% Italian, second generation. Yeah.

My mom's 100% Greek, first generation, eldest daughter of Greek immigrants. So the culture is obviously still very relevant to me and my family, but Greek wasn't a language that I spoke at home because my dad isn't Greek. So my parents wanted me to feel more connected to the culture, so they put me in Greek school. And of course, my younger brother didn't have to go, but I went for eight years. I love that.

When we went to Greek school, they divided us into two groups within each grade. So you had what I call the smart and stupid classes, a.k.a. speaking and non-speaking. So I was obviously in the stupid non-speaking cohort, and the kids with two Greek parents who spoke it at home were in the speaking smart group. So as you can imagine, kind of like class warfare. Sure. The Greeks in the Greek speaking class would make fun of us.

You see how women just fucking babble on and on. Sorry. Just wanted to... Side note, side note, guys. Sorry.

Besides, all of a sudden, we obviously get to the fucking point. What is it? Yeah. Jesus Christ. Minute 13. We can't really tell what the question is. Yeah. Halfway through. All right. Go on, Elders. I'm like, okay.

I have a good relationship with my dad, but I feel like I still have daddy issues because in fourth grade in Greek school, we went through seven different Kyrie Dimitris because, you know, we'd be terrible and beg them to stay and then they'd always leave. And then somehow it always would end up being a new Dimitri back the next week.

Demetri was their teacher. Anyways, I actually didn't really get too much out of Greek school except for trauma. So now in adulthood, I'm 28. Yeah, yeah. You know, speaking from someone who's been shot with a gun, I can feel... It's real trauma. I mean, the trauma that you went through having so many Demetris must have been...

so difficult and the class warfare between the speaking and the non-speaking Greek populations I mean it's I mean you must feel like an Armenian in Turkey Yanni that's what you get for trying to this girl knows what it's like to be black in America sorry I'm coming off as a real fucking asshole for

for pointing out the obvious. All right, so let's delve further into her deep trauma. Sorry, sorry, sorry. No, no, I think you make a good point. But, you know, that's kind of your fault. I assume you were trying to break up a hobo 69ing and they shot you, you know, when you broke into their SRO. You're like, guys, come on, stop sucking each other. Fuck you, Greek boy. I remember I fucking had a client who threw a coffee mug at my head. Oh.

And I had to do the George Bush doc. I mean, she fucking flung it. Yeah. Yeah. It's tough. That is. I mean, the social work. Brutal. Mentally ill population is tough. Again. And now I got into comedy. I'm like, fucking, I can't get out of this business. Yeah.

All right. Let's see what we got here with our friend. So now in adulthood, I'm 28. I'm a single lady. The voice feels stronger when you're 27. God willing, it's about to turn 95. I'm a single person.

My yaya, who, God willing, is about to turn 95, is encouraging me to find a nice Greek boy to date. Of course. But I feel kind of weird about it. She and my mom are encouraging me to get more involved at the Greek church, and that's just not something I feel super secure doing.

I feel like I'm not Greek enough to be in those spaces. Oh, this is interesting. And if I dated someone Greek, I wouldn't feel Greek enough for them or their family. And, I mean, I know I'm Greek. I'm proud to be Greek. I cook all the family recipes. I love the culture. But I feel insecure about my level of Greekness when I'm around other Greek people. So do I.

I consider you a Greek, you Greek, because you're first gen. So I'm interested to hear what you think from your perspective and if you have any advice for trying to get over my fear of being judged. This is interesting. We are the right panel here. Yeah, this is it. Two first genners. Well, to give the best advice, I think you're going to need to DM a picture of yourself to Stavros. He'll be able to tell you if you can make a Greek wife or not.

You know, it wouldn't hurt. We're not saying you have to. It would not hurt. And she looks, she's half and half something else, which is exactly what you said. Italian doesn't quite count. You want something a little more exotic. Well, Italians and Greeks, like, who are we kidding? You want like a Greek Chinese. It's the same thing. I just want a different, like, Italian culture and Greek culture, too similar. Particularly American Italians. It's like, we're just,

Greek Americans and Greek Italians, it's like, there's a little too much guido over that. Right. It can be a different Europe. It just has to be a different cult. I just want something that feels markedly different. Right. You know. Greek German. Yeah, I guess that would qualify. I would put that near the bottom of my race ranking wife, wife, uh,

You want a little Ecuadorian in there. After what we saw there with the priest. She's half Greek, half Hamas. Does that work? It literally does. Look, we've gotten political enough, folks. I won't take the bait on that one. I think we solved American health care. I thought I was on Hasan Piker's live stream.

Well, look, you get fucking Socrates and Aristotle together, we're going to fucking fix some of the world's problems. Yeah.

If you want to know how to solve the world's problem, tune into Twitch and listen to a hot 28-year-old Turkish guy figure it all out. He's 30 now. He's 30. Your youth is gone, Hasan. You need to start actually reading the books soon, you motherfucker. You're not going to be sexy forever. Yeah. He is a hot fucking Turkish. You 9-11 denier. You can't deny I'll be doing Madison Square Garden 9-11-25.

I love the idea of a 9-11 denier. Not saying that it was good, being like, it didn't happen. Those towers are still up there. Okay, so I can say about here from my perspective, right, who...

I think we both feel this way a little bit, I think, where I think I definitely don't feel as Greek as I want to be, right? And I think I probably, I'm much Greaker than this lady, right? I speak Greek pretty well, but I feel like I'd like to be conversational in, like truly, I'd love to, I mean, at some point in my life, I'd love for it to be interchangeable. And the frustrating thing, I don't know if you feel this, is like,

For me, it's like talking is my fucking skill. And when I speak Greek, I'm like, I feel like a fucking sixth grader, right? Like, I feel like so limited and I have thoughts I want to get out. So I empathize with this, even though I am theoretically Greek-er than you, right? If we're going to put a thing on it. I think as long, if you want to do this, no one is going to like grade you on your fucking Greek-ness. No. They might.

And in fact, if it's something you want to... Like, I actually have a really good friend of mine who, you know, same thing. First gen, like, grew up. Similar thing. Sent him to Greek school. He didn't learn shit. Kind of didn't really speak. But he has started later in life...

He goes and visits his family more. He actually... This is an interesting thing. Something I'm even considering doing is, like, hiring, like, a tutor that you Zoom with from Greece who, like, you have Greek lessons in Greek and you talk to them and they actually, like, critique your speech. You know, and it's like, there's way, you know, watching Greek movies. I have another friend...

who he wants to get more in touch and he wants to get better with his language. He watches like cartoons in Greek because it's like for kids, so it's simple language, but it's like he's absorbing it and interesting, you know, like, so there's things you can do. Don't feel insecure about it. I think Greek people love Greek people. So if you're just, if you just are Greek. Good enough. And then you want to get better. If you have a desire to get Greek-er.

Like, if I fucking brought a Greek girl who didn't really speak Greek, but she was like, I've been, you know, I'm taking lessons and I want to get better at it and I want to learn. My fucking, my mom would be fucking through the roof, dude. Yeah. I mean, and then, like, just you compared to a non-Greek person, you're already fine. You know what I mean? Yeah. You nailed it. But I think it's good. I agree. Like, there is something to, it's interesting about, like,

Something I think about all the time is how like in a couple generations you could just lose an ethnic identity So fast. Yeah, and that's weird. That's and everybody deals with that differently and like time

Time is never going to be... My neighborhood, Greektown in Baltimore, not that Greek anymore. This fucking neighborhood, Astoria. Even when I visited as a kid, my church would literally come to Astoria when I was 11. It was way Greek-er then, 20 years ago. Oh, yeah. When I was a kid, it was all Greek. You guys are still all connected to your first generation. I lost my ethnic identity. You're nothing. I'm fucking... Even Italian, German, Irish, I don't know what I am. Nobody in my...

From 100 years plus, everyone's only ever been American. Yeah, exactly. So this is what happens when you lose it. Just know that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is this the fucking cultureless void you want to exist in? Do you want to move nine times in eight years? That's what's going to happen. I think also the options are open to this girl because her father is not Greek. Her mother is Greek. True. So you could go non-Greek also.

The father is more of the one who would be the problem? Oh, yeah. If the father was Greek, then... The daughter being Greek, she's pretty much in prison. I mean... So she's got a non-Greek father. It means she, you know...

He doesn't give a shit. Yeah, and plus the mother who's Greek married a non-Greek. She broke the seal there. She's already ruined the pussy generationally. You don't have to go Greek. Yeah, yeah. Greek people are like, oh, the bloodline's disgusting. She's half Italian. And the Greeks do hate Italians. Yeah.

My mother-in-law married a Sicilian guy and her family disowned her. It's just a true story. Which Sicily is just a Greek island, by the way. It's just a Greek island. It's mostly DNA. It's all Greek. Even if you look at a map...

the fact that that's considered Italy and not Greece is hilarious. Well, the Greeks were like the first to colonize it. Yeah, when I went to Sicily, they have that whole, they have all the monuments there that look like you're in Greece, but it's just on the island of Sicily. Totally. And that's what the tour guides said. They were like, this is Greece. It's so funny. But that's what we're dealing with here. But I would just say,

whether you're this is kind of a general question because a lot of people in America I think deal with this as an immigrant you decide like do is my is my immigrant identity important to me I definitely feel like it is Eldis I know you you went back to Albania like

I think where you got that turtleneck. Like it's, I do think there is, I think there comes a point, especially like your third, you're getting there, you know, you're 28. Like if for me, it happened like kind of in my thirties where I'm like, what kind of fucking person do I want to be? You start thinking not just of yourself, but Oh, there's going to be a generation after me. If I have kids, if my fucking brothers have, you know, my friends have kids, like it's not even about you. It becomes like, what do I want to pass down? Cause like, if there's a way for me to like,

you know, guarantee that if I had kids, they'd be as Greek as I am. I take that. But I got this Greek because my parents are Greek as fuck. So me...

If I had kids now, the amount of Greek that I speak, with the amount I'm connected to Greece, they'd be fucking Chrissies. Look at that, dude. They'd be fucking regular-ass white motherfuckers in no time. So, you know, you decide what connection do you want. And by the way, if you lose the language, whatever, but you just like going to Greece, you're keeping it alive with cooking, whatever, we all find what's important to us and the level of connection we want.

and just go with it. Don't feel insecure, but I think there's nothing wrong with working on it, and maybe you'll never be Greek as shit, maybe you'll never be fluent, but get a little more connected, get as connected as you have time for and as you feel comfortable with, I think. - And I think it's important for you to know you're not alone in feeling insecure about your level of Greekness. I think that is part of being Greek. Every Greek is always trying to out-Greek.

You know? It's like a thing. We all feel insecure about a level of Greekness. If you're Greek-American or if you live in the diaspora, Greeks will make you feel that way. Yeah, oh yeah. And then definitely when you go to Greece, you're American. You're American. Like I fucking, yeah, like I definitely, I made some like Greek jokes

like Greek from Greece friends that weren't that's another thing when you want to feel connected so because when you when you go and travel usually it's like you know you meet your family you maybe meet family friends people that actually care about you and then I like made some Greek friends and we were cool they liked me obviously but we like

They would get, like, annoyed and just switch to English. They would just be like, look, don't fuck it. Let's forget this bullshit. You know, like, you're a fucking American. You're an American. Like, it's cute what you're trying to do. So just be prepared for that. Another Spanish help it out. Yeah. We'll switch to English. Yeah. So just feel okay with whatever you're, like, that's being an immigrant. It's like you really aren't.

place fully and that's okay you find what's you find that little center for yourself yeah just as long as you don't marry a Turk you'll be fine I'd be interested in that that would be actually great put some tits on Hassan yeah you know what I mean I'll take Hassan as is Hassan's like Buck Angel right now that kid needs no seasoning he is huge as a bun yeah

Cute as a button. What do you say, Alex? You got something fun for us to go out on here with our pals, the history hyenas themselves? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, kind of a similar theme, but... Okay, great. Let's fucking repeat ourselves. All right. Stavros, Eldis, hello, I love you. Not a question, but let's get into it. When I was a kid, my dad, after church on Sundays, would bring us to our favorite Greek-owned diner in the town that I grew up in. He would request the same waiter every week, and I remember three things about this man.

He was Albanian. He...

He had a name that, I don't remember his name, but he had a name that was like close to a regular name, but one letter off, like Elbert. Sort of like Eldis. Yeah. Wait, it's not Elvis? No, it's Eldis. One of your parents was definitely dyslexic, though. He's literally, we've said that before, he's named after two women. It's my mom's name, my grandma's name put together. Oh, okay. Elbera and Yaldiz. Yeah. Yaldiz is crazy. Yeah. Yeah.

Your mom's name at least real name. Yeah. And that too is like close to Elvira or something. Elmira being Elvira. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

One letter off, like Albert or something. So for the sake of the story, that's what we're going to refer to him as. And he had the worst BO I've ever smelled in my life. Like to this day, you could line up 40 Albanians and I could pick him out in a lineup. Wow. That'd be a foreign Albanian. She's like an airport dog for Albanians. Jesus Christ.

Canine unit. Albanian canine unit. Anyway, there was one day that we were at this restaurant and the diner owner was yelling at this man off to the side. Sometimes you got to sit in your Albanian street. The whole restaurant could hear. He was just berating this man. And I, for years, I mean, this was like 15 years ago, but for years, I...

I felt bad for him. I felt so sorry for him. I didn't know why he was talked to and treated that way. But thanks to your show, your podcast, I've learned so much about the Greek-Albanian dynamic. And I know that this fucking Albanian dude was just...

The Greek diner owner had had it up to here with this dude and his inability to bust a table. So I just wanted to thank you. Oh, also, I'm coming to see you in March on your Dreamboat tour when you're coming to Phoenix. But that's all. Thank you. Maybe you'll see me berating Elders for not getting the merch out on time. Sometimes you have to let your oppressor lash out to make them think they're in control. You got to man the job sometimes.

Stavros will be killed by Albanians from the Bronx at some point. Albanians are some of the scariest, toughest dudes.

And I want to say right now, I love Albania. - I love Albanians as well. - I love Albanians originally. - Oh, they had ABI, they were a big crew. - I think I've said this on the pod before with this chainsaw. - The chainsaw Albanian story. - People, Albanians will come up to me, you know, on a monthly basis and be like the chainsaw, I know the guy. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - They know it, the Albanian community heard it.

It's out there, man. Yeah. Yeah, shout out. You know, shout out to our Albanians. I love the Albanians. They're great. Good people. I think, you know, the guy who owns Tavernas Kikladis. He's Albanian. BC Grill Albanian. And if you really want to get into it, a lot of the Greek places around the neighborhood, even around New York City, are, you know, actually Albanian-owned. Well, that's just what we said, you fucking idiot. Name two other ones then, motherfucker. We just said two. How about you? There's so many.

Oh, you can't even list them, huh? Beezy Grill. I already said Beezy Grill. I just said that. He's like, um, Eldest's Kitchen. You guys don't know about it. It's in the Bronx. We're working on something. We're working on something. Yeah.

The more we learn about Albania, the more I do love it. It is funny that you... Who was the king? King Zod? Zog. Zog. They had a king named Zog in the 1920s. It's a... Zog, 1922 to 1939. The guy's name was Zog the First. Zog. Is he a Superman villain? Ahmed Muftar Zaghali. King Zog. He shortened his shit up like he was making an app.

So funny, dude. We just did a History Hyenas episode on Yorgos Karaskakis. Oh, Karaskakis. What a sick fuck that man. A lot of people are commenting that he was Albanian. Was he Albanian? I don't think he was Albanian. How dare you motherfuckers! Take that back! Nah! No, they're just trolling you. Karaskakis is the fucking man. Yeah, dude. He would tell people, he would say to people, he'd say, you could shit on my dick. Yeah, he'd say, first let me consult my dick. Yeah!

he would talk to his dick about it my dick said no go fuck yourself the stadium Olympiacos plays in is named after him Elvis see if you can find the Greek letter to the Turks that classic oh yeah we talked about it you guys read that one it was amazing I did Mr. Pano's voice to create a little distance

I mean, he called out the Jews. He called out everybody. He was a wild boy. It wasn't Karaskaki. Yeah, just that. No, no, it was Karaskaki. Yeah, we did an episode on it. Let's just go ahead. Look, I know we're treading on your territory. No, no, no, it's a good crossover. Why don't you go on the Reddit, you motherfucker? Mature content. No, I don't want to look at it.

Yeah, what happened? Reddit doesn't let you have this. There it is. All right, let's read it. I'll let you read it. Thank you. Thank you. And you're going to have to read it in Greek. The first line is the tough one. To Resid Mehmed Pasha Kutahi in Athens. Well, first of all, let me read it in Greek. I won't say who. Starts with an M.

Fuck your face and your... You get killed if you draw them. Yeah, yeah, and your guy. He said this, though. What do you think you're doing, cuckolds? Don't you have shame asking us to negotiate with a koja shit salt and medite? What?

Let me shit on him and your vizier and that Jew Siltar Boda, that bitch. If I live, I will fuck them. If I die, they will fart my dick. The general signed on 420, by the way, 1827.

The general. Oh, my God, dude. That's our general. If I live, I'll fuck them. If I die, they'll fart on my dick. This guy gives no fucks. Fuck the vizier in that Jew Siltar boat of a bitch. He's basically saying, if I live, I will fuck you, and if I die, I know you'll fuck me, but I will fart on your dick. Because...

I never will stop getting revenge. Also, by the way, that bitch, he called... He called him a whore. Yeah. He called him... He didn't even call him a bitch. He basically called him a fucking... Yeah, putan. Putan.

Incredible stuff. I mean, this guy was wild, dude. If I live, I will fuck them. If I die, they will fart my dick. Legend. This guy had tuberculosis his whole life. He didn't give a fuck. He's the man, dude. They had the Turks on the ropes, and they could have just walked away, but then he stood up on a rock and started taunting them, and he pulled his ass and dick out, and somebody shot him in the dick. Shot him in the ass and dick, yeah. Yeah.

Respect. Then he almost died. Yeah, he mooned them. He mooned them. Oh, my God. I mean, he had personality. He's the man. Yeah, he's an amazing, wild character from history. He's the man. Kid had a little bit of a leaky roof, but he was fun. These are the guys that fucking took back Greece from the Turks. Yeah, they were a wild bunch. Fuck you, Hassan. We got it back. You might have fucked us, but we got it back. With heroes like George Karaskakis...

Well, fellas, thank you so much. Thank you. What a fucking episode. So fun. Always great. Listen to History Hyenas. Go see Chrissy. Go see Giannis. We'll put on Blix, whatever, and come see us on the Dreamboat Tour. We're probably halfway through it by now, or some way through it. Hopefully it started. Who fucking knows? That's the episode. We'll see you soon. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.