#134 - Katie Nolan
02:03:26 Share

Folks, we have a very fun episode with my pal Katie Nolan coming up right now. But first, want to let you know, we're trying to be more professional here. We just went on a huge tour, never plugged. We plugged like four dates on this podcast that hugged me.

hundreds of thousands of people listen to. So we decided let's start... For a 60-day tour. For a 60-day tour. I mean, we were gone so long and we didn't even consider to plug a date. I'd love to blame Eldis, but this actually was... I mean, obviously he should have thought of it too, but that's on me. Uh...

So, we are starting the Dreamboat Tour. It's going to continue. We're hitting the UK, London, September 6th, Dublin, September 12th, Manchester, the 13th, Glasgow, Glasgow, fuck, whatever, the 14th. I'll figure it out. We're also adding another show in Glasgow, and here in America, November, we're going

Me and Eldridge are going to do a trashy little tour. We did the bus. We're going to just rent a van and drive everywhere ourselves this time. We're talking Memphis on November 6th, Huntsville, Alabama, November 7th, Chattanooga the 8th, Knoxville the 9th, Asheville the 10th, and we have added Greensboro, North Carolina, Wilmington, North Carolina, and Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.

South Carolina, we're getting real, we're getting disgusting with it out in Myrtle Beach. Hopefully your divorced fathers will be down there. Tell them to come. And then, of course, Austin, Texas on the 22nd and Boston on the 13th. Very excited for those.

Please come out and purchase a ticket. We're pumped. The hour is really fun. And I think I'm going to, I want to start doing even more new stuff. If you've seen us, I'll probably do a little more. These are smaller rooms. I'll be doing a little more. I didn't do any crowd work on the theater tour. I want to get in there, talk to the people a little bit. So we'll see you there this fall. Please come see us if you're in the UK or in parts of the American South and then Boston.

We're adding more stuff. Don't worry. Let us know where else to go. And now, let's start the show. Let's get Katie Nolan in here. Opa! Welcome, everybody, to Stavi's World. 904-800-STAV. Call in to solve all your problems. We are joined today, Katie Nolan. Thank you for being here, Katie. Thank you for having me. Casuals.

is out. Casuals, I did it on Sirius right now. Listen to it. Great show. Thanks. Sorry for you. I was the first guest and it was after Raven's loss and I have felt bad about this since where I was like, I didn't realize I probably shouldn't have just really cursed a lot from the jump. It's not true. I was like, fuck, I mean, every word. It helped me. It was your first. It helped me because I had been debating with Sirius about cursing.

And they were like, oh, try to not. I was like, totally, totally. And then we had our first guest fall through. You came in huge for me. I'm so grateful. I was happy to. I was happy to. And after a devastating loss, and you just blew the doors off it. I couldn't. Yeah. And so now, and then the episode did well. So I got to go like, hey, serious. Look at that. I won't curse this much. Yeah.

probably ever again. Right, right, right. But look, the whole point is about the authenticity of fandom. So I thought it was perfect. Thank you. Don't feel bad. Okay, great, great, great. But I did. And I, it was, it was, I was over the top even for like me because I was so mad. We had just lost in the playoffs. Yeah.

But it was tough. But, you know, I think that makes good. That makes for good. You know, we certainly milked you for all the content that we could. I really was. I was the sorrow cow. Yes. And you just were sucking on my udders. Yeah. Thanks for coming, Katie. Yeah. Thanks for having me. And so you've done a bunch. I mean, I've been a I've been I'm kind of having a tough one right now because I haven't I was not drinking for like a year and a half.

And it was no like hard and fast. It was just like I wanted to be healthier. Yeah. And yesterday was so nice in New York. It was. I was strolling around. I'm in shorts and a Hawaiian. I bump into some friends. Oh, you day drink. And I didn't.

It was like they called me at... I was walking around during the day and then I went back into the city around like 7-ish. I'm looking at a bunch of apartments. So I've been like all over New York. I have turned it into something kind of fun. So I got drunk for the first time. Because I was basically like, what am I doing? It's one time. I really don't have an alcohol problem. Like I have a weed and...

and like Cinnabon problem. I don't like booze. I could honestly have like, I don't feel the desire. It wasn't like get kickstarted. Like I got to get fucked up all day. Uh, but I am definitely sluggish. I did that classic come home.

You know, come home too late and then should go to bed. Just sit on the couch and just like wake up at 317 a.m. And then you're like, well, let's see what we got in the kitchen. I mean, there's no reason to go. Terrible. I'm up now. So I made a disgusting little.

I made a disgusting little sandwich out of whatever I had, which was canned sardines. Oh, my God. Spreadable. No, no, no. I'm sorry. Anchovies. I mean, same. Saltier. I don't know if you. I didn't know the difference, but now I do. I was not a big anchovy guy. I like the way you say it. I was not a big anchovy guy. Anchovy. Oh, maybe. I didn't know. John Anchovy. Yeah, yeah. Should I say inch? No, you're right. You're right. Anchovies.

- I say anchovy, but I'm unfamiliar with the-- - Interesting, not a big canned fish girl? - I'm not a tinned fish gal, no. - Really? - Dan and I went to a concert once in Brooklyn, and then after wanted to get food, and walked over to this place that had great ratings. We were like, hey, we were looking for some food, and the guy was like, we do exclusively tinned fish. - It's a restaurant? - And Dan and I were like, what's the point of this?

It's a restaurant that opens up cans? Yeah, right? Do I have to pop it open myself? What the hell? It was wild. Exclusively? What do they mean by that? That's it. But different types, different varieties. Appetizer size or entree. Honestly, you said that, Eldest's eyes lit up. What is it called? I can find it. I'm sure I can find it. If it's still in business. This was a couple years ago. I can't imagine it's a profitable product. I don't know. I mean, if you upcharge...

I kind of respect it because tin fish costs a certain, like, let's say it costs four bucks. The high end one, right? Sell it for seven. You're in a fucking restaurant. Already done. Kind of smart. I respect them. I spent like $100 on four cans of tin fish in LA on the tour at like some fancy little place. They like, they got me. I got one of them and she started talking about how good all the others were. I'm like, I got to get these for the bus. Yeah. Upsell. She upsold the cans off. I was a sucker. Oh, he's a sucker. I mean, this guy. Don't they all taste the same? Like a salty little shh.

Sliver of fish? No, no, no. You can taste the difference. It's a mackerel. Without question, anchovies taste... Okay, I thought they were disgusting, right? Yeah. I think we're of the same generation where it was like the... Cartoon joke. Cartoon joke. The Ninja Turtle. Yes. Anchovies! Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that, to this day, ruined them for me. And then on tires, I had to eat... There's a scene where I have to eat something disgusting. Yeah. And...

And so what they did was they put, like, anchovies with, like, with fucking... With some kind of cheese. It was actually kind of... They had, like, expensive cheese. They put, like, brie or some shit. And...

It was supposed to look like a weird, fucked up delicacy for, you know, my character. He's like, it's all he has is tinned fish, essentially, to show that I'm in rock bottom. And I was like, oh, this is gross. I was like, I don't even want this. I was like, guys, we can have this, but like, can you also get me some other shit that I'll actually eat? Because I don't want this. So I made them get chicken nuggets and fries. Yeah.

with the anchovies and shit and then i they're like can you just take one bite of the anchovies and i was like you loved it this is incredible they're like little salty and they melt yeah yeah the first time i had like a homemade caesar dressing where they use it and you're at first you're like i don't want the anchovies but if you power through it and you actually just taste it you're like oh it's just like a salty little sliver of flavor

Yeah, it's nice. So you're not, so it sounds like, I don't mean to kind of put you on blast immediately. You kind of change your colors quick on thin frizz. Just anchovies. But you're never going to catch me waking up at 3.15 and eating them out of a can. In my defense, I had nothing. What else was on the sandwich? It was like that spreadable, like, not Babybel, but a different type of that laughing cow cheese. And I had this old freezer bread that was like,

It's like a health bread. It's called Ezekiel bread. Yeah, I've heard of that. So I mean, I had not, because I have, I've been on tour and I'm also trying to eat healthy. So there's no good snacks here. That's for the best. And yes, it is. And that's really all it was. It was an open-faced laughing cow anchovies. Not as bad as it could have been. With some, with a popcorn side. Oh, popcorn.

And a weird cottage cheese ice cream that I found for dessert. So that was probably just regular ice cream, but old and curdled. No, no, it has the worst. Okay, we're actually going to give them some free advertising. Let's do it. And I do love this product, actually. I just found out about it. They had it on GoPuff. It's called... Shout out GoPuff. From me, personally, shout out GoPuff. Absolutely. Thank you for all that you do. It is good when you're stoned and you just need a snack immediately. Yeah.

It has the worst name I've ever heard in my life, so this is not actually great advertising. It's called Smear Case. No. Smear? No. You want to eat something and it's Smear? Mm-mm. You're thinking of Pap Smear. That makes me think of Pap. Yeah, exactly. There's no way you're not thinking of just like... I'm thinking of my cervix. ...of medical pussy cream. Smear Case. Like...

But it's fucking good as hell, and it's super protein heavy. And, you know, I've got to get my protein, Katie. Yeah, we're all trying to get protein. I feel like adulthood is just trying to find ways to put protein into your body. Absolutely. I've eaten so much, way more cottage cheese, a lot more whey protein. But anyway, and then I put chocolate. I have found some baking chocolate. That's always the, like, this is kind of chocolate. This is the only chocolate I have. It will be.

It's like a stew, but it's not. It tastes like dirt if you think about it too hard. But you know what? With the little smear kit, with the little fucked up cottage cheese ice cream and some chocolate. You had a full smear campaign. It was fucked. I mean, a lot of, everything I ate was kind of smeary. It was smeary. Yeah. I smeared shitty cheese. Yeah. And the anchovies were kind of old. They were kind of smeared.

And this was last night. This was literally last night. The last meal you ate. Honestly, I made a sensible salmon lunch before you got here. Smart. But other than that, yes, that's what's in my belly right now. Good. You're loaded to the gills with fish. Along with like five. Yeah, I am. Nice. Actually, you're right. Sick. Some old fat. And I had sushi the day before. Oh, my God. It's that and like five old fashions. Sick. Yeah, I stopped drinking in the pandemic kind of by accident. Dan obviously doesn't drink. Yeah, yeah.

and so we just didn't he did all the shopping and he never I was never gonna be like go to the liquor store and get me some booze but don't touch it and so I just stopped which I never would have thought I'd be able to do and now when I drink I'm it's embarrassing I drink like two drinks no I'm just loose I'm just out here loose and then I'll come home and then I'll have a headache the next day and I'm like going on I used to

down. Were you a real, yeah, you were a real drunk? What are we talking here? Yeah, I mean, I probably shouldn't have drank as much as I did at as many professional functions as I did. Sure, sure, sure. I think I had a couple benevolent helpers in the sports media industry. I feel like Joel Klatt once said like, you always getting this drunk at work, sir?

And I didn't pick up on it. I was like, you know it, baby. Hell yeah, I'm fine. It's free. Did you know this is open bar, dude? You do it. And then I think the next day I saw him at whatever game we were there covering. And I was like, I'm sorry, Joel. I was out of line last night. But yeah, so I just like, but now I can't do it. And I just feel like it's a bummer to revisit drinking and not be able to go. You're aging, unfortunately. Yes. Your body's breaking down. And that's what I hear. I don't like it.

It really is every day something new where I'm like, oh, that's just what my hip feels like now. Oh, you're done. But, you know, you're holding up great. Thanks. Thank you. But also, you also got, like, pretty successful pretty young. So there was a... You probably were still in, like, party mode at these... Yes. Because I'm, you know, I was watching... I was, like, a sports nerd. So I was, like, before we were friends, I was a fan of your work. I saw all the stuff you did. And you were, like... I feel like you, like...

Like, yeah, really young. Yeah, 26. And so you were kind of in that zone. Who were you like the two years before shit started popping? What was your job? What were you? You were like just out of college. Yeah. I had. You're from the Boston area. From the Boston area. But I had moved right out of college into New York City. My cousin from California was moving to do Teach for America and she needed a roommate. And.

I had a friend from college. All three of us moved into a walk-up in New York City. It was a huge mistake. I moved with no job. I had graduated in 2009, and I was like, I'll find a job. I graduated with honors from Hofstra University. No one's going to turn this down. Hofstra, hell yeah. It was crazy. So it was like $1,000 a month, I think, was rent. I had a car for the first, and I had finally sold that. We were up in the Upper East Side. Okay.

So we lived there for a little. I ended up working at an Equinox because I couldn't find a job. So I sold gym memberships at an Equinox.

And then after our lease was up Upper East Side That's Upper East Side Equinox We're talking That's prime I lived across From the 74th Street one Which was nice I worked at the 54th Street one Which nobody went to It sucked I was thinking It'd be real housewives territory Yeah No we had Ours was very corporate Ours was like If you're a person who works out On your lunch break You would go to the 54th Street Equinox So that's not even fun No not at all Um

And so that I did that. And then once our lease was up, I was like, fuck this. I'm going to go back home. But my grandmother had just moved into my bedroom at my parents' house.

But she had a condo in town. That's so fucking funny. So I got my own apartment. Oh, wow. But it was in an old people's condo in Framingham, Massachusetts. So I lived there and worked at a bar in Alston, Massachusetts, which has since closed. And then, not the whole city, just the bar. They shuttered the town of Alston? They were like, get out of here. It's too much. Alston. It sounds too much like Boston. Yeah. I don't like that. People always think it's Austin when I say it. No, Alston, Brighton.

But I was bartending and blogging. Oh, hell yeah. And that was it. That was right up before the – I did that for like two years of like writing. Then I started doing daily YouTube videos. Oh, wow. Daily YouTube videos in like 2010. Like 20 – probably like – yeah, 2011, I think. Still, you're, you know, ahead of the curve. They sucked. They sucked. They're not good. Yeah.

Yeah, I mean they probably were literally just me yeah filming them editing them writing them delivering them Wow, I learned I taught myself how to use a green screen. Look at that. I was like looking at my competition I was like these videos aren't gonna pop off unless they look like yeah, they still didn't all that much but it was like work and then I was going to Bartend at night fucking wiped. I was like working two jobs and

the daily videos were, I was doing them for a company and they were only paying me $7.50 a month, which at the time, I was like, that's my rent. So I'll just, every, all the dollars I make from, I was like, all the dollars I'm making from bartending, I'll just keep.

I was like, I'm living the life. What kind of bar are we talking? It was like a college bar. Nice. Like they were known in the area for being the bar that like will check your ID and you cannot get in underage. Wow. But there would be a long line. We had a pop a shot machine. We had two bars. Nice. It was like high volume BU, BC bar.

Oh, damn. Harvard type. Yeah. Clientele. Yeah. And so are you the type of bartender who is getting fucked up while bartending? Well, it depends. Yeah. I feel like there were times. Certainly there were times. But like high volume bartending, I hadn't done before. All I had ever done before that was, I probably lied on my resume. But at the time, all I did was like in college, I worked at some place called Benchwarmers. That was a, it was in a strip mall in Long Island. Love that. With like a nail salon and a place that does trophies for like little ladies.

league uh damn I would we need to get some trophies in here yeah so it's in a strip mall the bar a strip mall a bar strip mall is it was tough awesome it was tough I had like the five clients that came in all the time clients they were just people who go to the just alcoholics uh

Just Long Island guys probably making horrible, you know, passes at you. Yeah. But they were also like, a lot of them were really old and I was really insistent about how old they were, which I think really set the line that like this was not going to be a thing. Sure, sure, sure. And yeah, if anybody ordered food, which no one ever did, thank God, I had to work the fryer as well. Yeah.

Wow, front house, back house. That was when I used to get drunk, when I would have like five people that sit at the bar with me all day. My shift would go until whatever. Yes, and I would get drunk. You got to drive back to your dorm. Yeah. Because there's no other way to get there. Yes. It's Long Island. Yes, exactly. Might as well get a buzz going. Right, why not? Really test things. Hey, Eldest, I got a question, pal. Do you use Cash App? I sure do. Good, because if you didn't, I would have said, what the hell is wrong with you, Eldest?

I'm glad I used it, man. Thank God you do. I couldn't suffer that kind of humiliation on this show. I wouldn't want you to be flogged publicly for your inability to use one of the finest apps. Dare I say the finest app for transferring money safely, quickly, securely, safely.

You know, that's what I love about Cash App. It's fast, safe, and honestly, just way more personalized than other apps out there. No extra hoops to jump through, no extra shush. All the tools are right there to help you cash in. You can even spice up your payments with custom text, stamps, and backgrounds. Because why should paying your friend for brunch be so boring? I hate when I pay... One thing I hate when I pay a friend for brunch is that it gets really boring.

I hate not having custom text stamps or backgrounds for paying for brunch. If for whatever insane reason you don't already have Cash App, just download it from your phone's app store, sign up, enter our code STAVVY, S-T-A-V-V-Y, in your profile, send five bucks to a friend, and you'll get $10 just for getting started. That's true.

100% for a limited time only. New Cash App users can use our exclusive code to earn some additional cash. For real, there's no catch. This is it, baby. Just download Cash App and sign up. Use our exclusive referral code STAVVY in your profile. Send $5 to a friend within 14 days, 2 weeks.

You know, you can do that within two weeks. Send your pal five buckaroos and you get $10 dropped right into your account. Terms apply. That's money. That's Cash App. Was that your first? So were you a bartender? Like, what's your first job, even as like a kid? What was that first one? My very first job, I was a dance teacher.

Oh, hell yeah. Because at my dance center, it was like once you hit a certain age, you got to be like the assistant teacher. Gotcha. So that was probably my first gig, but paid like shit. Of course. And you're just dealing with little kids who are trying to take their shirts off all day. I feel like that's all little kids in a leotard are all just like,

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, so you're just trying to keep kids clothed. They are cute, though, when you put little kids in, like, costumes. The best. Or little uniforms. Yeah. That is fucking cute. It's very cute. Like a kid's soccer, when they got little shin guards. They're so tiny. They're so little. It's your whole shin.

Damn. Yeah, so that was first job. Interesting. But then most of it's been food service. I waitress. My mom was a bartender my whole life. Oh, nice. I grew up in a bar restaurant. A bartender nepo baby. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, I was born into it. Damn, a mom bartender your whole life. Yeah. My mom was a waitress when I was little, but bartender does feel a little more hardcore. It was cool. Yeah, she was like a, you know...

Boston lady. Didn't take no guff. No guff, huh? Type of a deal. Yeah. So she was, that was fun. And then what I always loved is every Christmas we would have this Christmas party that was like partially family, partially my brother's friends, partially my friends, and then my mom's regulars from her bar.

Wow. So it was like they were like family growing up. She allowed the bar... The good ones. It's really cheers, huh? Yeah. You motherfucker, you were literally living cheers. Yeah. Your mom... That's so funny. Damn, mom bartender is fun. That is very fun. She's a cool chick. And she was just working like... Was she around during the day? Like was she sleeping it off or what were we talking? No, she was around during the day. And then she'd go to work at night and come home around like 2. There were a couple years there where I tried to push the like...

My dad was an accountant, so during tax season, he would work late or stay at work or whatever was happening. And then my mom would come home at 2, so I'd have people over until 1. Oh, wow. And I got caught very quickly. Interesting. But I was really like, why not? Yeah, what's the best? Was there like a legendary night at the Nolans? What was your best one? Oh, I was going to say bad legendary. Give me both. There was a time that...

A kid I wasn't even really friends with was there. He was down in the garage. That'll happen, by the way. They'll find their way in. All the time. Yeah, yeah. But this kid was like early in the rounds of people showing up. So I wasn't already at the point where I was like, fuck you, you can't come in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think I like wanted to be his friend. So I was like, yeah, you guys can, whatever. Sure.

And then later in the night, I'm drunk. Somebody like knocked on the door. I opened it. I did not know these people. Did not know these people at all. Didn't even like, and I had a big high school. I'm like, I don't even recognize you from my school. I do not know you. And they didn't really ask. One of them just like walked in straight down into the garage, punched that kid in the face. Oh no. And then they left. What?

What did he do? And so clearly they had just gotten information that that's where he was. He was like bleeding from his face. Luckily, I guess, in the garage. Sure. If that had been anywhere else in the house, that might have been a nightmare. You get it on the ottoman, that's a big problem. Right, but actually... You just hose it down in the garage. But getting blood on the like, into the concrete was kind of hard to get out.

Like it soaked in, it felt like. So we really did have to like hose it. I think there's still a stain. Honestly, you should have put like motor oil over top of it. Yeah. Or yeah. Should have made a new stain. You're right. Or you should have been like, mom, I'm building you a birdhouse and like spray painted it and got, oh no, I got a little red spray. Oh no. But only because I love you so much. Because I love you so much. To make you this little birdhouse. Yeah.

Yeah, I got caught anytime I tried to have a party. And it was a lot of times, but I always got caught. That is cool. I mean, having access to an unsupervised garage till 1 a.m., that must have been good for you in high school. You'd think. Yeah. You know, you'd think. It didn't necessarily help with the popularity. You were a fucking loser? Kind of. I mean, not like a huge one. My house got egged a lot. What? Why? I think it started, I don't remember.

remember how it started but once people heard that it happened then they were like oh the house that's right across from the middle school and it was just like we were on a busy street and then every time it happened my dad would wake me up and be like your friends egged the house again and I said what about this leads you to believe these people are my friends why would my

Did you have enemies? What the fuck's going on here? I don't know. It was the older girls. I don't know. Did they fucking stuff you in a locker? They wanted to. The lockers were too small, I guess, so they had to egg my... Egg is a pain in the ass. Egg's tough. To get off the side of your house. There's a reason that's the classic thing to do. It sucks. Easy to throw and hard to clean up. It sucks. The noise is fun when an egg bursts.

Wow. Damn. They fucking, inflation has stolen the joy of egging. True. There's no way kids are egging anymore. What do you even do now? What do they do now? I mean, I guess they don't do anything fucking cool. They don't even talk to each other. They're just all on screens. They're on screens. I feel bad for them. I guess they're kind of driving each other to suicide through online bullying. Right. So they do have that. They have hobbies. They're not just sitting around.

They're doing something. They're leaking each other's nudes, trying to ruin each other's lives. God damn. It's a simpler time, you know? So many nudes, and are they even fucking? I feel like the kids aren't fucking like they used to. Yeah, I think it's... There is a big, like, everyone's worried that kids aren't fucking. I guess it hit Japan first. Yeah. Because I remember, that's all I used to hear, was like, no one in Japan has sex, and now it feels like it's coming...

it's coming down the pike for us, which, you know, real shame for those kids. I mean, I guess now every kid just has my high school experience. Welcome to it. Yeah, yeah. I guess I was ahead of, I was a trailblazer not having sex until I was. Hey, we turned out okay. Hey, we did. You're a tastemaker.

Man. But we wanted, that's the difference, Eldis. We desperately wanted to fuck. We also grew up with them being like, don't fuck. It's true. Don't fuck. At least the girls. It was always just like, you're going to get pregnant. Don't fuck. Yeah, yeah. And I listened. What an idiot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, okay, you're right. Oh, that's why they thought you were a loser. I don't want, that's probably it. Yeah. Yeah, we're getting to the real bottom of it now.

All the other girls in, where was it? Did you say Framingham? Framingham, that's right. They're sucking and fucking. Yeah. They're hanging out, you know. I was scared. Yeah. I was like, I'll be the girl who does ecstasy once and dies. I'll be the girl who has sex once and gets pregnant. And so I just, you know, stayed away from it all. Was it like a religious thing?

Were you like religious at all? I mean, we were, I was raised, but not like super duper. Yeah. Like the classic Catholic stuff? I went all the way through confirmation so that I could get married. And my mom's thing was like, at least get confirmed so you can be married in a church if you want to. Wow.

That really panned out. Yeah. I mean, been engaged for like five years. I don't think I'm getting married in any building at this point. There's no, there's no, that's hysterical to think about Dan getting married in a church. I know. That's so, Dan is like, you know, obviously one of my best friends. And he's also the most classic, just like, I guess I just think of him, I would classify him as a South Park atheist. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Like, he's from Colorado. He loves weed. He loves South Park. There's no way I could see that man getting married in a church. I mean, he would do it. Yeah. It's also funny to think of him, even though he would look great in a suit, it's funny to think of him comfortable in a suit. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. I've seen him in suits, I think probably. He cleans up nice. He cleans up nice. I've seen him at other weddings. I've seen him. But it's just, I feel like at his wedding, he should be, which he won't. This is why it's so hard to plan. He should be in, like, sweatpants. Because I'm like, I can't picture what the fuck

everyone's like just do it for you too but if it was for us we would just stay home yeah with the dog and play video games and eat whatever treats we wanted to we i can't picture how to throw a party friends would come in and out yes you know yes hang out with us we could get that going we could try let's just do that you know let's get let's get perfect how about it like a rent out a pizza hut you

You know? Find one of the old school... One of the ones that look like the old... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm kind of jealous I haven't told you this. I want this for my wedding. With the, like... Yes. Remember those chandeliers that were, like... Of course. Yeah, yeah. Okay, this is actually what should be happening. This might be it. Yes. And if they don't exist...

The money people spend on, you should spend that to recreate a Pizza Hut. That would be honestly the best wedding of all time. - This is the most excited I've felt for planning a wedding. So I do feel like you've struck something. - Can you pitch this? I'm calling Dan immediately after this. 'Cause I think this is a great, I actually think this is a great idea and I actually am afraid our listeners are gonna scoop you. - Don't do it. - Because we have trash. We also have trash listeners.

who probably live in the kind of town where Pizza Hut is still, there's like eight towns probably. Are there some still kicking around? I think so, yeah. I bumped into a Friendly's in the wild recently. And I was like, I have to go to this. I didn't know it was a Boston thing because we had it. I loved Friendly's. It had traveled to Baltimore. Yeah. And that little watermelon, that little watermelon slice. That little watermelon slice, yeah. Remember that shit? The ice cream? The Jubilee Roll. The Jubilee Roll. Whatever that was, I loved it. Oh.

their chicken fingers with that honey mustard. Yeah, that's good stuff. Were you ever a Friendlies guy, Eldest? I liked Friendlies. I don't remember any of the things you guys are naming, though. I remember the sundae. Yeah, with the upside down with the cone on it and they made it look like a person. Yeah, the smiley face. That is good. My family never went there. We only went there for school trips and shit, so maybe I just remember the little ones. I remember that.

Yeah, we literally were on the same field trip. I remember that field trip. Yeah, yeah. Yes, you're right. Dude, this is so fucked up. It was a green piece of paper. I remember the exact menu that he's talking about. Because that's... I was like, when did I have a hamburger at Friendly's? It was that school trip. Yeah. And then one other time, my family... Like, my...

A family friend would take me out. She was like my aunt, but not one of those classic, you think she's your aunt your whole life. And then later you're like, wait, what? As soon as you understand how to do genealogy, you're like, we're not related at all. She would take me every three months. She would like, okay, let's take the kids out. And she took me to Friendly's once. We had a proper meal. It was that. But before that, it was just ice cream. It was aunt and friend. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like grandmas would take you to Friendly's. Yeah, it always felt like a weird meeting.

Where you weren't like relaxed. You were just like, okay. Yeah, yeah. But the ice cream. Tasty. Great stuff. A real tasty treat. Wow. RIP Friendly's. The world we grew up in is disintegrating. Gone. Ground round gone. Yeah. The 99. Is that a thing? Was that just Massachusetts? You guys have the 99? I don't know about the 99. It was like one of those restaurants. Bennigan's. Bennigan's. Wow. Dan and I just ate at a Bennigan's on our holiday trip. Where? It was in, oh no, like Des Moines, Michigan.

It was somewhere. We drive across through the middle of the country. Oh, that's right. You guys love driving. Yeah, because our dog can't fly and we want to take our dog for Christmas. I felt too bad leaving her every holiday. So we drive. It's actually not bad, except for the one time we had to sleep in the parking lot of a Motel 6 in Nebraska. That fucking sucked. There was a snowstorm or something? It was too windy. Too windy to drive?

Apparently it's so flat in Nebraska that if you're driving on the highway and it's really windy, then a truck could get flipped over and then everybody's in danger. So we had to sleep in the parking lot of a Motel 6 with a dog, very humbling, in a car. She had the whole back seat and we just had our two seats reclined.

Couldn't get the room, huh? Really awful. No, they filled up. It was all truckers. They let us use their bathroom, which was very nice. That's nice of them. But we were driving through and we saw a Bennigan's on a sign on our way out. And so then we planned our trip back. We had just eaten and we were like, no! And so we planned on our trip back that that's where we... It was attached to a hotel. So we're like, we'll stay here.

On our way back. It was worth it. It was tasty. We were an Applebee's then Chili's family. No TGI Fridays in the mix? We skipped TGI Fridays completely. Eldest was a TGI Friday family. We were big on Friday. Those Jack Daniel's chicken strips? That was my high school experience. The Jack Daniel's burger. Eldest still fondly recalls the Jack Daniel's burger. I think I've been talking about it a lot. I should just go get one. Bring it back. Do they still have it? They might.

I think they do. I think I looked up a menu recently. You looked up a menu? What? It just sounds good. I want that fucking glazing sauce. You're just at home Googling what's TGI Friday's current national menu just so you have the information. Yeah, yeah. Jack Daniel's burger. That's so fucking funny. Friday's.

Yeah, fry, you know. It's just a burger. Yeah, they throw a little fucking, they throw a little barbecue sauce. They have that sweet sauce you like drench it in. It's barbecue sauce, man. That's what's on the chicken. That's what's tasty. No, no, but it's like, it's very, it's thinner than barbecue sauce. It's like,

It's like thinner and sweeter. No, no. You're out of a glaze. I do believe you. I mean, you've had this burger a lot. I remember your sister taking us out to get Jack Daniel's burgers a couple times. That's a good sister. Yeah, she's awesome. That's a really good sister.

It's hot, it's summertime, you see I'm sweating, I was out getting steps. I want to show you, I'm a man that suffers during the summer. You see how I'm glistening, I already got 10,000 steps, I don't want to brag halfway through the day. But when I'm out there trudging along, when I'm out there with these thick, generous thighs, sweating up a storm, you know what's very important? My underwear.

All right, you got to be comfortable. You got to get the right stuff. That's why I'm a MeUndies guy. They have this micro modal fabric, legit magic, super soft. They feel, I will say this, which I like, they feel a little tighter than other products.

other underwear that I've tried. They kind of hug you in just the right way, but they're very soft. I started wearing them actually last summer before they were in a sponsor. When I went out to England, I was doing a movie. That's where I started kind of getting my steps in a lot. I wasn't satisfied with my underwear. I started experimenting. I bought a bunch of different ones. MeUndies were the ones that made the cut for me. The comfort is unbelievable. Like I said, that breathable micro mode that'll just hug in your you-know-what's.

Your fat little you-know-what's getting enveloped by that beautiful fabric. Eldest, you need to get it. If you're not on these, these will change your life. I know your ass chafes left and right. I know. I need to get some. You got to get on the MeUndies. Not only did I have some, they sent us a box. I kept them for myself. Maybe Eldest gets the second. Maybe if you motherfuckers buy some MeUndies, we can get Eldest some as well. Please. Yeah.

You don't want to see the disgusting, the whole ridden underwear this guy is dragging along these days. Please, it's literally 100 degrees out today.

We love MeUndies. You'll love them too. Right now, as a listener of my show, you can score sizzling summer deals like up to 50% off at MeUndies.com slash Stavi and enter promo code Stavi. That's MeUndies.com slash Stavi, promo code Stavi for up to 50% off MeUndies comfort that's made for summer.

So, okay, so you were, I'm sorry, you were a dance instructor, so that means you were a dancer, huh? Yeah, I also, a better job story about dancing, I was a bar mitzvah dancer. A bar mitzvah dancer? What does that even mean? So, you know when you go, you've been to a bunch of bar mitzvahs, maybe? I've been to a few, yeah. They usually have, like, the DJ, and then they'll have, like, the...

Two or three, depending on the budget. Sure. Young women. To get the party going. Yeah, we're the party starters. So you were really an incredibly low-level sex worker. Yes. You were an escort. Yes. For 12-year-old Jewish boys. I was like a geisha. You were like a geisha. I would pour the sodas. I would facilitate conversation. Oh, my God. That's fucking hilarious, dude. Please don't touch. Please don't touch.

You'll do like some, yeah, some of this with a 12-year-old boy. I'll go dance, like when they do the snowball dances, you know, when like they'd start with the birthday boy or girl or whatever and they would split off and they'd each pick someone. I would always pick the kid you knew probably wasn't going to get picked so that they could feel like they were a part of it. Wow. That's fascinating. Yeah. There's like, how do you even get that job? Who recommends you? So I did it, I feel like,

I feel like I... My memory for my own life is really shady. But I feel like I did it in high school because I knew... My friend's sister worked for a DJ company. So I worked with them. And it was like...

For that age, the money was great. It was like $25 an hour. And it was like a four-hour party. And then depending on who's paying, sometimes you'd get a tip. Sometimes you'd get to eat from their sick carving station. The starving stations were out of control in Bar Mitzvah. But then other times, you'd go to a really rich one, they'd have a carving station, and then you'd be eating a salad in the back. That's crazy. It sucks. You're not even eating all of it. It's sitting there on the bone. That's nuts to not give you some food.

But so the pay was great for high school. And then in college, I think I just like looked for, I was like, well, now we're on Long Island. So this is where the real money is. I was scavenging in Framingham, Massachusetts. Had to make a travel a bunch. Then when I get to Long Island, I'm like, I can go down. I can do two in a night. I can hit up two bar mitzvahs, make a ton of money.

And so that's, I think my roommate and I got into that together, which was nice. That is nice. And I'm glad it also does feel like a feeder system for sex trafficking. Yeah. You know what I mean? I did get out and I think I looked back and was like, oh, I got out. Like I didn't. That is so fucking funny to be like, got to keep the party live. We're hiring like college girls. To dance for you. To dance with 11 year olds. Yeah.

Yeah, it is. And I will say the thing that got me out of it was it got really bleak towards the end. Again, as a child who didn't fuck. Hearing these 13-year-olds, because that's what a bar mitzvah is. You're celebrating turning 13. Talking about like, you know, I'd go over and use my old moves from when I was in high school. I'd be like, how come we're not dancing with those girls over there? And they'd be like, she's ran through. She already, she sucked my dick. I'm like, what?

You're 13. It was too much. The dynamic changed. That's so fucking funny. And once I was like, oh, you're all fucking? This feels so different. The meat station's uncomfortable now. I don't want to be around this. No, you're right, because if the kids aren't fucking, you're essentially like a lady who's hired to dress up as a Disney princess for a child's party. But when they start fucking, that's when you are now an escort. Now I'm like, don't look at me like that. I don't want to dance

Any of you. Ran through? She's 13? She's ran through. It was fucking long. Yeah, I mean, I remember one time in middle school in gym. It's eighth grade. And it's like the end of the year. We're eighth graders. It's like an open period. We're playing pickup games. And a lot of kids are just chilling, talking. And I overheard like...

this, these kids making plans to get, like, two dudes and a girl are making plans for her to suck their dicks. Sick. And I was like, what? Like,

You guys get head? And you're just openly, you're not like nervous to like kiss a girl. You're like, okay, so, you know, clock's ticking. Are you going to suck us off or not? Like not only were they getting head, but it was so normal to them. They're impatient about it. That they like were calmer about it than I am like even now. Yeah. As like a 36-year-old man, these kids. And then the funniest thing was they like, I'm like dribbling a ball. I overhear this and I go like.

Like, I drop the balls just-- and they see my face being like,

And they're like, he listening. And now they're pointing at me like, yo, look, he listening. And I was like, oh. And then I'm like, go miss a layup or something. I was like, no, I've gotten head before. I've certainly kissed a woman once. Oh, no. It was fucking awesome. Oh, no. And then they were literally more mature than I am now. And then they kind of laughed it off and went back to their plan. Like, they didn't even... Here's how...

It's even more devastating. They didn't even feel the need to bully me. They were like, that poor kid. Let him listen. Anyway, let's go get our dicks sucked. Let him listen while we get our dicks sucked. Oh, man. That was, yeah. That really was, I think there was some fear, I guess. Yeah. I mean, I went to Orthodox, you know, we're Greek Orthodox, and it sounds way more hardcore than it is. I was going to say, what's the big thing? What's Greek Orthodox's big, like, we weren't allowed to...

Something. See, nothing really. In fact, the first time I did touch tits was in my church, actually. Shout out. Kind of similar to how Jewish kids would go to camp or whatever. We had a youth group. People were making out. I touched titties in ninth grade at the Greek... I was drunk and touching titties upstairs. In ninth grade? Ninth or tenth, yeah. Sick. But don't get me wrong. That was it. It was like a little...

That's almost like God teasing me. Like, hey man, you're going to touch tits twice in one summer and then say goodbye to them until college. It was actually more cruel than not letting me touch tits. You'd almost rather not know what it feels like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Instead you're at home being like... Just like looking at my hand. Crying.

And I think I've told this story before, but not only did I, I experienced like sort of that girl. I was like, it was like kind of awesome. I was like, whoa, this girl's letting me touch this. We went to the same high school and then I hit her up, you know, on MySpace. This is the days we're talking. Right. And she's like, ha ha, last night was pretty crazy. Don't remember anything. How about you? Oh. And then I was like, ha ha ha. Same.

Me neither. And she's like posting a picture with like her, she had a boyfriend. She was like cheating on. You touched taking tits? I touched taking tits. Yep. Yep. Yep. And then she kind of played it off.

And like I was nothing but a piece of ass for the night to her. Damn, you got used. I got used. Used and discarded. And I was like, of course, I was like, well, I'm essentially married now. This is my wife. I'm going to be loyal to her for the rest of my life. I'm literally like, well, I have a girlfriend. Well, I can only think about her when I masturbate. No more porn for me. You know what? Maybe that was it was 10th.

Was it 11th grade? Because I had a... The number keeps going up, I see. Yeah, yeah. It was four days ago. My first set. That was... Okay, no, I made... That was...

So one was 10th grade, and then this girl that I'm thinking of was 11th because I had an after-school job when this was happening. Oh, yeah, you were a working man. I was a working man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You needed those tits to get you through the day. I was a telemarketer. Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah. That's way too young to be a telemarketer. Oh, yeah. I mean, we 100% aided in the mortgage crisis. It was a company called American Government Mortgage. Yeah, that's what they're all called, I feel like. Well, they're called that. Some form of words that sound important and correct. Did you know Dan got scammed, too?

Did Dan tell you he got scared? No. When? Recently or back in the day? Oh, no. I shouldn't share this. This is his story to share. I shouldn't share it. Star Rose, I stepped out of the house for just a little bit. Oh, no. I went to do a podcast. No. And when I came home, I mean, he full on like wrote on a post-it note and it's,

Okay. I'll say less. I'll ask him. Holy shit. You have to ask him. I think he probably is coming to do the pod next week or a couple weeks from now. Make him tell you the story. I can't wait. That's so fucking funny that he got scammed. Oh my god, so embarrassing. There are some scams going around. Everybody's doing it.

American government mortgage or whatever. Well, to my credit, I was so bad. I never filled, nobody ever filled out an application. I was so bad at the job. I mean, I was on MySpace. Cold calling. I just would write that I called and they didn't answer. I didn't call. I don't want to call anybody. Yeah.

Hi, do you want a gym membership? No. If they did, they'd be here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not going to call and sell them. That's not going to work. That must work like one out of, were there people that were good at that? Yes, this kid Andre. He had this like phone bank and he would just, he never left his office. You never saw him give a tour of the gym. You never saw him like do any outreach. He just had his leads. He would call them and he would lead the company in sales. I never figured out how he did it, but there had to be some sort of,

nefariousness at play. You think he was nefarious? I don't know. I think he had other people making calls for him. Oh, interesting. It was an interesting sale. I'm not built for the sales world. Yeah. I don't have that like, God, I hit my quota. You have to be so pushy. I was making people sign up for this gym that was like,

A lot of money a month during the recession when people were losing their jobs. I was locking them into one year contracts and being like, Oh, you got fired. Unfortunately, I do still need you to uphold your end of the deal. I felt really shitty about that. They wait, they made you like call and be like, well, they would come in and go like, can we cancel our membership? And I was like, unfortunately you're on your first year. So for a year you are locked in. Holy shit. Once the year is up, I could cancel. Um,

Damn. I think they eventually reversed that policy. Yeah. I think enough people were like, this is fucked up. I mean, that's insane. We don't have jobs. The fact that gyms are able to just be like, no, you have to do a little obstacle course if you want to cancel. In order to cancel, come in, talk to me for an hour. Write me a letter. It's like, what the fuck is this? I know. It's crazy. This is a gym. Yeah. Wow.

We should be able to just go cancel. I could cancel anything. Cancel. Yeah. Even cable now is easier than it used to be. But gyms, you've got to give them blood. Yeah, they make you jump through fucking hoops. And I don't know why that's... How strong is the gym lobby that they're allowed to do that legally? I think it's...

that they their business model runs on people paying for it and not going yeah of course so they once you're in that situation they would love to keep you in that situation of course because if everybody came in there wouldn't be enough machines yeah yeah so they want the people especially literally Planet Fitness yeah cannot house the amount of people it's like the way that we had to hit

our quota every month in sales, I think early in my tenure, six months, I said like, where are we putting all these people? And they looked at me with a like, oh, honey, they don't show up. It's, you sort of just keep selling every month to more people that can't fit into the same gym. So I think that's why they make it hard to cancel because they're like this is

Keeps us afloat. This is how we rob people. If people who didn't want to be here could cancel easily, we'd make no money. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, they'd still get people like me who just forget. Yeah. I let stuff ride way too long. Way too long. I let stuff ride way too long. I had two health insurances for a while.

- Did you go to the doctor? - Because I had never, yes. I had never had health insurance through work. For some reason, something about being on air talent, they never give you the like benefits stuff. So I'd gotten it through the marketplace. And then when I got to ESPN, they were like, we're giving you health insurance. I was like sick.

but i didn't cancel my other one in time and i didn't understand the coverages of the one for espn and that was only costing me 12 bucks out of a paycheck yeah yeah yeah so whatever i was like whatever double doctor baby health insurance yeah i want xanax twice i want two zany prescriptions make it happen oh well this you know it's summertime you know it's barbecue time picnic time

hang out with the boys, get on a hammock and chill out time. And no matter what you're doing on the summer, you know what kind of beverage is going to help keep you not only cool, but it's going to help you keep it something else. That's right. It's going to help you keep it twisted. Our friends over at Twisted Tea, our favorite beverage here at Stavi's World, we keep it the motherfuck twisted, and you know that by now. Delicious, goes down smooth.

A lot of different flavors. No pesky carbonation to stop you from letting it go down smooth. There's nothing I hate more than carbonation making a beverage not smooth. Well, good news, because this 5% by volume real Barouda iced tea concoction, 5%, like I said, ABV.

Full flavor, refreshing. You're going to love it. You love it by now. You're probably drinking it. Twisted Tea is wasting their money advertising. You're probably already... It's so ubiquitous on the show. Don't tell them that, by the way. I want to. This is the only way... No, it's not. Stop. This is the only way elders can afford a home someday is if Twisted Tea keeps...

I cut him a deal. He gets 1% of all our earnings from Twisted Tea. That's his whole salary. I'm really pushing for a fully annual sponsored year by Twisted Tea. Honestly, we're going to put this in the middle of an advertisement. We want more advertisements, Twisted Tea. Put us on TV. Let us be the face of Twisted Tea. We're ready, Twisted Tea. And we know who's going to make that happen, folks. You. You. You.

You know what you're going to do this summer? You're going to grab a refreshing twisted tea, and you're going to keep it twisted.

I mean, we should, look, we have some questions to get to, but we do, you know, we have a sports professional here. We should talk about how hysterical, it's like, do you think the New England Patriots did a monkey paw wish to be a dynasty and they were like, whatever it takes, after we retire, our lives are ruined. Do you think that's what's happening with Bill Belichick, Tom Brady, and the Kraft family? What do you think? Because it is hilarious that Bill Belichick is dating literally

Let's say someone who's the age to be a bar mitzvah dancer. You know what I mean? She'd be great. She would kill it. She would actually crush it. She would kill it. She's got the personality for it. She's got the range. She sure does. She can entertain an old man. She can entertain an 11-year-old boy. She can pretend to enjoy something. Clearly. Clearly.

It's, you know, it's mortifying. The first person I actually talked to about it when it was, you know, the story was starting to break, I was doing the Great British Bake Off with DK Metcalf. And he just like, he goes, how about Bill's new girlfriend? And looked at me like that.

And I was like, look, I'm just glad he waited until he wasn't here anymore to do that. Stuff's coming out. Yeah, I know. She might have been around. She probably was. But at least we didn't know. At least it wasn't a story. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

at the time. Right. At least they had the decency to threaten reporters for two years. I know. He's about to retire. This is what you want to do to his legacy? You ever want to be back in here again? You want access ever? Shut the fuck up about this. She's his nurse, if anybody asks. Well, pretty soon she would be. She should know.

That's what she's... Look, I don't know. I keep going back and forth on it because part of me, I'm like, I want... Look, if you're willing... Sure. ...to have sex with Bill Belichick, who am I to say that's not worth $8 million in a real estate portfolio? Look, tip of the cap for a true hustler. You are doing it. For a bag chaser to the absolute max. Right. You got to respect her. The Belichick family's nervous. That's how you know she's on to something because it started leaking where his family's like,

look man we don't fucking like it either we don't know what this is about and no one is happy about it younger than she's younger than his kids his youngest kid his daughter i believe is in her third like later 30s she is a third of his age right yeah she's 24 or 5 and he is and there's questions about that i know uh he is 74 or 5 it's uh

Or 72. 72 or 3. Oh, is it? Okay. Sorry. Yeah, that one year makes the difference. But, you know, he's 72. Belichick's 72. Okay. Close to three times. And she's 24. That's, yeah. Is that exactly three? I think it is. I'm a math genius. Not me. And she's 24. Yeah. Yeah. So she's... One, look, and I'm no prude here.

And I'm not even an age gap guy. This is an alarming gap. 50 years is kind of tough. My dad shouldn't split the difference between my boyfriend and I. That's crazy. Oh, wow. Like, who can relate better to my dad, me or my boyfriend, coming from two different sides? And, like, it's kind of a stretch for your dad, even. I know. Like, it's not, there's, like, a 50-year-old guy and a 72-year-old guy. It's not guaranteed they'll even be friends. I know. But his daughter? I know.

It is hilarious. It's like, damn, what was he up to before? I know. I just think the wildness of it for me is just the shell shock of like... Yeah, out of nowhere. And just in Bill We Trust, it was like the mantra was like... Do your job. Do your job. In Bill We Trust, everything is going to work itself out. It's run like a...

Yeah. And then now... Yeah. I don't know. North Carolina has got to be so pissed. I think they're at least...

at least a little bit like, what's going on? Yeah, yeah, yeah. To hire Bill Bell. It was already like, look, he might not, you know, even though I do think he was, I hate to fucking, you know, give anybody from your favorite organization any credit, but I do think he, even at the end, was still a good defensive coach. I mean, their offense was absolute dog shit, but I think he still was like, even when they were really blowing it, he still was, you know,

Clearly had something in the tank. Very talented. And as a prestige hire, it's like, we're North Carolina. We've always been kind of like a second rate. We've always been a basketball school. We've had some fun players and some good teams, but no, we've never really been a program. And it's like, this will put us on the map as like, we are going to turn into like a respected football like program. Yeah.

And to be like, oh, and by the way, there's a whole, no one is talking about our football team. Everyone's talking about how Belichick's girlfriend could be a TA at North Carolina. She could literally be, she could be a dumb senior at the school. She could still be enrolled there.

She could easily be a grad student. Everyone's talking about that. No one's talking about it. And it's going to be so funny to just watch. Very fascinated to see how the season goes. Because college football fans famously aren't afraid to use anything they know about you against you. And so I can't imagine it's going to be a lot of people just being like, that's great. Good for them. I hope

I guess they're lucky that what Duke is their biggest obviously is their biggest basketball rival but it's like like Duke also so I mean they're kind of in the same boat where they've had some randomly good years but yeah I don't know if they're supposed to be good this year but that's the team I don't know anything about college football anymore because it's all different now yeah the system has completely upended all the the conferences are different none of the numbers match up with the numbers of teams hey nice try we're still talking about Belichick okay

But there's this big shift. You're a pro. I see what you're doing. And you made a good point. You almost got me. But we are going to circle back to the embarrassing thing about your favorite coach, okay? And then also, I think it works also with Brady, obviously, because it's like his life has completely fallen. I really think these are the most, like...

uh, cautionary tale, like greatness destroys. It's not worth it. Right. It's like, that's why we haven't done it. That's also, yeah, that's exactly why I'll never, we're not in the top 100. Right. We're barely hanging on to the top 100 comedy charts, let alone the overall charts. That's what it is. We don't want to pay the price. No, no, no. Here at Stavi's World, we're, we're comfortable peaking at like, you know, 70 on the top 100 when we have a famous guest on. Yeah. Uh,

It feels that way. It feels like you're cool with it. I actually literally... It's the vibe I'm getting. I literally am. It rocks. But it's just so funny that... And you saw it with the last dance, too. It's like, did Jordan look like a guy who was happy? No. Like...

Like, his eyes are jaundiced. I know. They're yellow as fuck. I know. And he's going back to work. He's going back to work. That made me go like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. We are definitely in a recession. Yeah. I know the gambling, whatever. How down is he in blackjack? How could you possibly? Then he's taking a fucking. How could you possibly?

back to work yeah I think he just doesn't want to be alone with his thoughts is my guess yeah and I get it yeah I get it um but it's just like you know with all these athletes coming in and doing podcasts now you're just like okay and what about those of us who just like to watch sports yeah yeah we're just here because they think it's fun and entertaining um

I know. For me, I'll take it a step further. It's like, get the fuck off my fucking block, you motherfuckers. This is all we have. Yes. You're rich. You're, you were at, at least most of you are still in like pretty good shape. You're, you know, the ones who want to be in media are probably handsome or beautiful. Get the fuck away from us. Just leave us alone.

We get podcasting. Go be on TV at least, you motherfuckers. We can't have podcasts. You're the only ones they're paying. So just go get paid by them. And let us just sit on our couches in our yucky clothes talking into our microphones. Why do you have to take this? Yeah, they want to take it all from us. And you know what? We won't let you. We're fighting tooth and nail. That's right. Go listen to Casuals. That's right. Right now. Right now. Great show.

And yes, Brady's got cucked to oblivion. He sucks at calling games. Everyone's shitting on him for that. That feels good to me. He's working on it. He throws somebody in one year into calling a game like the soup

I know. It's tough. It's a challenge. But that's also the ego of being like, I can be the best. If I can play it, I can talk about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get that. I'd probably be that way too. And you know, obviously craft, you know, sex. That was before though. That was before. That was kind of the harbinger. He was kind of the first one to go. That was like the canary in the coal mine. Yeah. Yeah.

but just would like to bring that up for the record. The Kraft family. Anything else? A billionaire took a private jet to go to a, to go to like a weird, shitty massage parlor where the women are mistreated. Very normal. Instead of just paying, and we're pro sex work here, by the way, instead of just paying a high end sex, like,

He's a fucking billionaire. Instead of just having a bar mitzvah for your kid. Getting a bar mitzvah, chatting up the hottest dancer and being like, how would you like to not have to work for two years? Perfect. How would you like a condo? Welcome to the organization.

Come on in. Yeah, why don't, I mean, that's the most despicable thing because it's like so clearly a guy that wants someone whose life is bad to jerk him off. Instead, he doesn't want to let a nut off like who amongst us doesn't want to let a nut off? Right, right. You know what I mean? With his resources, you could be dealing with some of the greatest minds

you know, talents in the making people not. Innovators in the space. Innovators in the space. Women who are doing stuff I can't even think of right now. But no, he takes the, he gasses up the private jet to go to Florida. And so anyway, just wanted to. So anyway, those are all the indiscretions from people associated with my team. Also, you know, Aaron Hernandez and the murder and stuff. Yeah, and we don't, and that's actually where this ends. We don't have to talk about the Baltimore Ravens or anything like that. And why don't we start, and why don't we start doing the questions now, Eldest?

Remember the deer piss? The deer piss. I'm pro-steroids, though, so I don't even care. You saw they're coming out with a pro-steroid league in Vegas. Yes, that does look cool. I hate that it's Peter Thiel. Yeah. Because he is a fucking piece of shit. But the enhanced games is a great idea. Enhanced games. You kind of have to, again, tip your cap. Someone's going to die. Hey, well.

They're going to die. You know what I mean? Yeah, they're going one way or another. They're going one way or another. Let's get in the... I guess you're right because can you have limits on the amount of people? I don't know. See, I got to look into that. But they should have like... They should have some limits. Their whole pitch was that they want to unlock human potential. Right. They feel that leagues are stifling our ability to really push the limits. Yeah.

I do think steroids in, obviously, baseball is cool. That's the last time it was, like, fun to watch baseball. Disagree. Yeah, I know you're a big baseball guy. Me personally, but I get it. I know it's not for everybody. I mean, no, no. Obviously, I mean, and I'm a little mad because the Orioles suck this year. We're going to figure it out. Last place currently. Yeah, it's tough. It is tough. You're on a little heater. What happened to you owner, Alex?

Didn't even spend that much money. Yeah. That fucking pissed me off. Yeah. We get a new owner. We're finally free of that cheapskate Greek. And like, and now, anyway, whatever. It doesn't matter. But steroids are cool. But you saying that somebody's going to die and the fact that it's Peter Thiel, it's like, oh, they really are just trying to accelerate. Because you could argue that the NFL, even right now, is...

mostly poor people and giving them brain damage for our entertainment. Yeah, their ticket out of the life that they were born into is brain damage. Yeah, yeah. Basically, if you boil it down. And then when you really look at how much NFL players make and how much the average career is, really, you could argue, not worth it. You'd be so much better off...

having a fucking regular blue collar job actually probably right I don't know anymore because the job market's a mess but that sounds right I mean we're not the stars obviously but like when we're talking about special teams guys and stuff like that guys who are like on practice squads who average five years in the league and make league minimum or maybe a couple million bucks that after depending on where they live right after taxes after age and stuff like and they're out there just as bodies just bodies to get fucked up right yeah yeah yeah

Those, but when you're talking about the enhanced games, like, oh, they're really just trying to accelerate how quickly they can use up a person. Yeah. Because like if you give somebody steroids and just to like get as fucking strong as possible. Yeah. They will be so cool for two years and they will probably be like. Their heart's going to explode. There's just no way. They're like, I want to push the world record. Yeah.

So I'll do twice as much. Damn. And then that just feels like it could end. Well, thanks a lot. If it ever even starts. Thanks a lot. Now I'm not excited about the steroid thing anymore. It's breaking me out in hods. So I too am anxious. Folks, I think you need to know about our pals at Thuma.

That's right. I personally have a bed frame from Thuma in Baltimore, my beautiful oasis. I wanted a nice piece of furniture that looked good, was easy to put together, and you know what I got? The Thuma bed frame. That's right. And I don't want to, I might be moving soon. You better believe I'm going to be on that Thuma website looking not just for the bed frames, but all types of different furniture. They got this, you know, they use the technique of Japanese joinery,

crafted from solid wood, precision cut for a silent, stable foundation. Literally, I can't put together shit. Took me five minutes to get this together just by myself. Clean lines, subtle curves, minimalist style. The Thuma Bed Collection is available in four signature finishes to match any design aesthetic. Headboard upgrades are available for customization as desired.

I'm a minimalist. What can I say? I don't got the headboard. But if you want to floss, you want to flex on me, you get the headboard. To get $100 towards your first bed purchase, go to Thuma.co.stavi, S-T-A-V-V-Y. That's T-H-U-M-A.co.stavi to receive $100 off your first bed purchase. All right, LD, why don't we take some calls?

- I'm gonna guess he's older. - I hope.

He would be 15 otherwise. Let's finish up. He's nine years older, she said. Yes, yes. Okay, okay, okay. I'm currently 24. But at the beginning of our relationship, as one does, I stalk to socials and like, let me tell you, I'm really good at it. Like, CIA level, like deep, deep.

Like I'm looking at like newspaper articles about him from when he was like eight kind of thing. Sick. But I didn't really have to dig that deep because I found like on like Facebook and Twitter some really like cringe content. Like just like, I don't know. It's not anything that people would really like post now. And it's like, I don't know. It's weird.

Oh, wow. Fuck this girl. I just wanted an old man scene.

early days of the internet is this regular I'm too young to know about Friendster why don't you go suck off your white trash boyfriend older boyfriend your 15 year old boyfriend yeah

But anyway, let her finish. Yeah, yeah. Because I wasn't like... Yeah, yeah, we get it. We get it. I'm wondering if it's something that I can bring up to talk to him about because I wouldn't necessarily be with someone that was posting kind of stuff like that now just because it's unsettling and like...

Just really cringe. I need an example. But yeah, is that something I can talk to him about? Is it a red flag? Do you think someone who would do stuff like that in the past has changed a lot? Yes. Yeah. Anyway, thank you very much. I'd love your opinion. Anyway, thanks.

This is interesting. And okay, as much as it pains me to give her an actual answer, yes, there was a time where the internet really felt like a complete wild west. Yes. Like Twitter, like it's crazy that people, you know, this point has been made a lot, but it's crazy that people get canceled for, or were getting canceled. That seems to be over. It's like,

Twitter felt like nothing. Nothing. No one used it. It wasn't important. It was just like the void. Like, you know, there's that classic tweet where that guy's like, I used to teach people how to cook crack on Twitter. Now you can't even call a fat bitch fat on Twitter, which is hysterical and exactly kind of the point. Twitter, before it was an app, before we all had smartphones. Yeah, it was just a weird little website. You would text.

You could save the number in your phone as Twitter and you could send a text to Twitter and it would post it as your tweet. So I was firing off like heading to class. It's useless information that nobody needed. You would post lyrics, you know, like Lil Wayne lyrics. And I think a lot of white people got in trouble for quoting the N word on Twitter. Right, because before you couldn't,

There wasn't a button for retweeting. You would have to write RT, then you would copy and paste their tweet. And so it was funny watching when that evolved into retweeting. People didn't realize what that was. They thought somebody was just typing. No, that's them retweeting someone else's tweet. It was very funny. But...

And yes, people were doing... And Facebook was a bit of a... It would be like, what are you thinking about? And do I... Did I... I think we deleted my Facebook when we were like starting a business page or some shit. But boy, did I... I mean...

I will say this. I didn't do any of that, what she's talking about. Yeah. But did I read my Facebook statuses and cringe about, like, who I was when I was fucking 18 or in college? Or, like, you want to... Again, we are talking about this is the height of our inceldom. Yeah. And just, like, the pathetic ways that I'm, like, clearly trying to get a woman's attention. Yeah. Or, like, the simp-ass, like, messages you would send. Yeah. Or, like, you know, whatever. I just, like, literally stuff that...

because i'm okay with embarrassing myself and like you know i share a lot but like

When you just see an artifact, a true archaeological, it's not your memories. It's not the way you prepare yourself. It's just the facts of who you are and you can analyze what a fucking loser you were. That's going to suck for anyone who didn't realize. We also didn't know this would be around forever. It just felt like something you posted and it kind of disappeared. Ephemeral. It felt very ephemeral. I'm just sending it out.

No one's going to read it. No one's going to care. Yes. So part one is can people change? Absolutely. Obviously. And I feel bad for kids now because they are just like going to have what we described, but video of their whole lives and acting like fucking losers. Or it's going to be even weirder where they develop some kind of weird split personality because everybody has to have the sort of like...

online version of themselves. The way like celebrities have like manicured PR versions of themselves. Yeah. Children have to start doing that. Yeah. Either they will be embarrassed or they will become these weird little sociopaths that act like, you know, they have their, they act like their own publicist their whole life. Yeah. So to answer that part, yes, someone can change. Now,

You do happen to have a clear look into what kind of person he was 10 to 15 years ago. And you can do a little, like, how bad is this stuff? You know what I mean? It's like, because my thought was it's probably, it might be cringy. It was 10 to 15 years ago. So it could, he might've grown out of it. If it,

If it gives you the ick, if you read it and it made you go like, ew, then that is, you can't, it's hard to move past that. But see, here's what I'll say. Ick is one, I would say, I actually feel like if it's ick, you have to understand you're not dating him from 15 years ago. Sure. Right? Sure. And you have to be like, he was a loser, but yes, a lot of people, 15 years ago, you were fucking nine or whatever the fuck. Yeah.

Right? Like he doesn't, hopefully he doesn't want to date you 15 years ago either, right? Fingers crossed. Yeah. Because that would be a big red flag, right? I would say ick, you kind of have to like,

Give him the benefit of the growing out of I would say are there bigger red flags like she's saying he's posting like fight videos or like drunk or whatever like I guess fights with his girlfriend. I don't think they're some emo shit like right, you know just talking about breakups and stuff. Yeah drunk basis oversharing Yeah, yes getting a man to do in general throughout is very difficult and

And so this is probably incredibly vulnerable to him. Yeah. True. I would also say just at this current juncture where we are in the world, hearing from people that are like trying to find their partner right now sounds kind of like a nightmare. Yeah. I don't,

think you got to dig too deep. No, this is also your fault. You're torturing yourself. Look less, you know, take a glance at it. Look at, you know, the newspaper article about when he hit, you know, when he went two for four at the plate that day and helped him get to the, to the championship. But I don't think we need to go like, don't, you shouldn't be like every night logging in for your time to dig through his old, you'll find something eventually. Yeah.

Well, this is the phrase, play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Yeah. It's like, yeah, what did you think? You thought he was going to be fucking cool 15 years ago? We all suck online. Yeah. So 15 years ago, if she's 24 and he's nine years... Fuck, this is like a fucking shitty middle school math problem. So she... She's 24 and he's nine years older. So he was... So he's 34. Yeah, basically. So he's 20, right? He's about our age, whatever. So yeah, 15 years ago...

I'm 20. I don't really want that shit out there. Here's the other thing. I mean, Facebook back then was also like... Your Facebook world was like maybe 100 people. It was like people you went to college with. That's before parents started getting on it and shit. It's time to look for a new online space. That's when we knew it died. Yeah. Like, oh, my mom's here. I don't think...

So he thought he was like posting that dumb shit for like, you know, just his small circle of buddies or people he knows from like college or something. He didn't think, you know, whatever. Yeah, don't. His girlfriend now is like going to look at that shit a decade later. Also, if somebody I was dating was like, hey, can I, I want to talk to you about what you posted January of 2010. Yeah.

I'd be like, what the fuck are you talking about? You go for content? You want to film us talking about it? What could we possibly need to talk about? Yeah, I'd be like, why did you do that? That's fucking weird. Like, this is a red flag on your part. Like, it is actually more a red flag on your, again, there is a line where if he's posting, like, white supremacist stuff. Yes, yes, good point. There's a, there's a, there's like, you know, you can have a conversation, like, there's certain things. Ahead of the curve, that

guy. Or way behind him. I don't know. It's hard to know. Yeah, that wasn't the time to do it. But yeah, there'd be a resurgence. There's certain things that obviously

oh, wait, this motherfucker was like, you know, posting violent shit or racist shit or any kind of, anything that really like unsettles you in a way. But like cringe does not, you cannot, if it's just cringe, you're the one who's in the wrong for looking this up. You know what I mean? I think everybody has to go through a cringe period to evolve into their final form. Absolutely. And so I don't think it's possible that anyone has escaped cringe.

being cringy and you're looking for it so you found it. Yeah, exactly. I think it's like good that it's up to you what you what your limit for what their cringe could be. Yeah. Like I know what would be enough for me to be like this is not whatever but I don't know that like What could Dan have posted 15 years ago to completely derail your entire life right now? I just feel like I think if he posted like

I don't know. I think it, no, I don't know. I wouldn't, I don't think he's it. He's truly it. There's nothing other perfectly been made for each other. I do believe, but there is. Yeah. But it's funny. Like, cause it, what it would be is something that just is not Dan would have to be lying about who he is. Right. It would have to be something like that. Whoa. That's he's living some weird double life. Yeah. Yeah. Like Dan posted and he's like been rich and loves his, his dad is alive and he loves him.

You know what I mean? Like, it would have to be like... A picture of him and his dad at a 49ers game. Yeah. Like with Joe Montana. Yeah, yeah.

Everything you told me is wrong It would have to be something like that But yeah So anyway We've spent enough time on you Our caller here But you get it Stop looking Stop stop And in general Stop looking In a world I think that's good advice for everybody We're like We live in a world Where everything is documented We can't be looking for shit man Right We cannot be looking for shit Go on LD What else we got?

Hi, staff and honored guests. Okay, so here's the thing. And, Eldis, if possible, could you play this when the guest is a woman so I can get both perspectives? Yes. So whenever I go out, men don't hit on me, at least not in a serious way. Like, I get catcalls, but when I make the effort and do my makeup, get all dressed up and go out, men never try to, like, chat me up. Like, I have never gone out and had a guy give me his number. And

and the thing is i'm a former fat kid okay so when i was younger i thought it was just you know i was too big to date but i'm fit now i dress well and i know that i'm attractive as big as that sounds like i realize my face shape is literally what celebrities are ruining their faces to achieve with the world very nice i go to bars i go out dancing with friends i go out alone to art events and coffee shops and even restaurants alone and men just don't come talk to me yeah

Also, possibly an important note, I dyed my hair red and I read online that men seem to not approach girls with fun colored hair. - Really? - Really? - Oh, so it's fun red. - Is it a real thing that like a woman can be so attractive that men are afraid to approach her? - I love this. I love this. Can you do this when a woman's on? - Let's dial it back a little. - So she can tell me I'm so hot that men leave me alone.

are afraid to approach her and I know this sounds so fucking vain but I promise I'm not an asshole like I'm very friendly I'm kind of the life of the party when we go out I don't spend all night talking about myself or anything like it's actually been a problem in my life that friends and even strangers love to tell me their whole life story never ask me any questions hmm

So yeah. And also, how should a girl approach a guy like at a bar or a club without making him think that I just want to sleep with him? Or is that just unavoidable if a girl is making the first move? Yeah. Okay. This is embarrassing. Thank you, Savi. Bye. Don't be embarrassed. But next time, send a pic. Yeah, true. Just let us, if we're going to talk about your face this much, I'd love to see that face. Yeah, like if you're just saying, if she was just saying like, hey, I'm a pretty good looking, you know what I mean? Like, I'm not ugly. She's like, I'm built like a sports car.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's like, Haley Bieber has spent $40,000 to get my cheekbones. They bring pictures of my face to their doctor. My first

thought until you went into how hot you are because I a little bit relate is it possible you're giving off a don't fucking talk to me vibe because I've learned that might be I might be guilty of that every now and then wearing flat shoes that's another thing men notice she's got flat shoes on and

Hotter friends. So I'm going to not even try there. Right. So it's, that could be possible that you're giving off like, I'm really not that interested vibe. But I mean, she sounds interested, so that might not be it. Yeah. And especially, that's interesting because it doesn't, who she's describing doesn't,

like mesh to me where it's like life of the party strangers will give me their life story but men won't approach you right like if anything who you're describing gets approached too much so i am confused here now she said she was a former fat kid is that what she said that might be the answer unfortunately talk to me as someone who well because there is just like if i was in a room with somebody who you give me five people who are like

and they're hot now, I promise you I could pick out, if there was one, I promise you I could pick out who grew up fat. Huh. Fat only, not ugly in another way. No, no, no. Just fat. Fat is different. Maybe ugly in another way. I don't know. I have obviously much more, you know, experience with the plus size community. Yeah. But there is like a, a lot of fat guys when they lose weight don't ever really fully get their swag going. And, and,

And they stay, they sort of stay like kind of fat loser in what they present or how they behave. And especially for men, so much of things are confidence that it's like, you can look, and look, I'm not saying, that's obviously going to help you out, right? If you lose weight and aren't confident, you're going to do better than don't lose weight and don't be confident. And I'm wondering if she has the cousin of this, which is like,

a way that a fat person can also get attention is by when she's saying life of the party, whatever, that can also be annoying. She ham. You know what I mean? Like I know, I know plenty of, again, I was probably like there were times where I was overdoing it. I think I've sort of,

figured it out and corrected for it. But there was definitely times where I was like trying to overcompensate and like... Prove your worth to the group. Yeah. Yeah. When it was probably annoying, whatever. I also, unfortunately, live in a more misogynistic society. So a girl who has the same qualities as a fat, like the fat party animal guy, there's no equivalent archetype for a woman, which is unfair, but is how society works. And in fact...

You'll get labeled as a fat, annoying bitch if you act that way. You know what I mean? Which is, again, unfair. My only thing with all the information I'm getting is like, do you give off some of that kind of annoying vibe? I don't know. But even then...

I mean, maybe that's it. Maybe you sort of still have the like, you know, maybe people, maybe you're overwhelming in multiple ways, right? The hot thing plus that vibe could make you

Like, they just don't know what to make of you necessarily. They don't know what box to put you in. Yeah, exactly. And I have heard from, like, you know, hot friends have said, like, I get approached less than my friends who are attractive but slightly less hot than me, right? So if, like, if we're to take you... At what you're saying as true. And no disrespect, but I'm just skeptical of anyone who rates themselves this high. You do sound hot.

You sound hot. You have a hot voice. And I believe that it is possible. Now, maybe face shape celebrities pay, you know. You might over did it a little bit. Maybe you took a little poetic license. I don't know about the buckle fat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But we're not saying you're not hot. But I'm saying like if this is, that's kind of all I can come up with, right? Is that there is, it's almost like dazzle camouflage where it's so much because

Because you're outgoing, you're like, you know, life of the party loud. Have this red hair, you know, have this like outgoing like hairstyle. Have like our hot whatever. Maybe it is a little, I don't know. That's the only thing I can possibly come up with here. Or that you have in your mind an idea of how...

not fat when you were fat before you were picturing how other people were moving through society picturing that like guys were just hitting on girls right and then once you got here you sort of realized that like it's still sort of like this like it's not being a hot isn't what it looks like in the movies maybe so this is a little bit of like correcting your expectations that's possible for sure or um i guess it's also i think you should

less about the attention is usually the best way to get it. If you're this smoking hottie, then just go out and enjoy yourself. And then you're...

Why complain about men not approaching you? I guess that's a great point. What a blessing. Yeah, that's a great. That's another great point. It's like, look, this might not be the way you find a partner. Right. Like you're also like she's also made it clear she doesn't want to just fuck. Right. And so if you're looking for something a little deeper than this.

Maybe you're not. Yeah. I mean, I'm sure you have friends who complain about it. Like you're saying, like, what a blessing that is. You might just have to find, meet people romantically in a different way. Meet them in a, because if a girl makes the first move at a bar, yes, they might think, oh, she's trying to fuck. But if a girl makes the first move at the library or, you know, like outside of a movie theater or in a coffee shop or something, or at a park, if you make it in a more sort of like less charged environment,

kind of implicitly sexual environment that the club or a bar is, then they might be like, oh, I met a nice girl. I want to go out, you know, and then get drinks or something. So it's hard to find. You're throwing a lot of information out

And this is sort of the best we can do here. But, you know, I don't... For example, I don't really, like, meet a lot of people in random bars or even when, like... Or clubs or anything like that. That was never my thing. Yeah. Because you can't really talk in those situations. At all. It's just a lot of yelling. And if you're somebody who, like, likes to make conversation and, like...

has made women like you by being funny and fun that's hard when the fucking music's loud so that was never my thing it would always be at a more quiet place I would meet or it would be a friend of a friend or like you know so that just might not be where you fuck or make or you know or make a long term relationship yeah yeah yeah eventually she eventually wants to fuck these guys she doesn't want to fuck them the first night but just don't let it affect

your confidence you sound like you know exactly who you are and how beautiful you are and if they're not approaching you then okay then they're not up to your standard so I think don't you worry about their opinions of you don't change to them I agree I think yes don't bend to the at the end of the day why do you want to do that who gives a fuck and you're going to spend the rest of your life bending and you're going to be very annoyed because you're this hot chick with fiery red hair which sounds cool I personally love dumb hair I think it's cool shit

I like it. Yeah. Like bubblegum pig. You know what I mean? I like dumb shit like that. Yeah. But, you know, I'm not your average Joe, I suppose. That's so true. Interesting. Well, good luck, pal. Okay. Give me one of the crazy ones. Don't we have a crazy one? You guys always get wild ones. We'll get wild ones, Eldest.

Nope. Nope. Nope.

yeah, I have a roommate and like in my head I was thinking like, is it your girlfriend? And then he was like, it's my girlfriend

Oh, no. Interesting. Fascinating. Jesus.

What? What? So they are roommates now? There's no way. They don't occasionally fuck? I mean, I guess she doesn't care. That's lunacy. That's one of the fucking craziest things I've ever heard in my fucking life. Alright, keep going on this. What the fuck?

Not even financially. That's crazy. That's crazy.

what's the male perspective could be I don't even think pause this I don't even think you need a male perspective I just think you need anyone but you's perspective anyone outside of this is fucking insane the poly community I think they're so good at being open minded and not going like well yeah the incredible rationalization well and

a new lease in a new apartment? It's like, yes, this is all screaming to me. Totally. Not cool. Yeah, even the... Look, whatever. Saying you're poly so you don't care, it's like, first of all, it's not like he just had... He has a girl, girlfriend. Like, this is ex. That's different than somebody he might even have random sex with. Like, it's just...

a bizarre move. This is fucking crazy. And even if you, because like, it's not like probably people aren't jealous. They're just like, understand that like, if the, you know, whatever, we've agreed to certain things. This is not part of that agreement in any way. This is a weird, fucked up situation that is bizarre. Now, if they were like,

Are there people? I guess, should we let her finish? Yeah, let her finish. What's the male perspective could be on that? I asked him about, you know, like, does he like the company? Like, you know what I mean? He's kind of indifferent to even having

Oh, God. Oh, God. Well-trained. Yeah. And then, uh...

Dude, that's fucked up. No chance I could comment on that situation. Yeah, I mean, that's insane. Um.

Yeah, no, you're right. Anyways, that's my question. I hope I make it on the show. Okay. You definitely made it. You are too understanding and sweet. Yeah, I mean, this is insane. This is wild. You've got a shitty dog that doesn't need to be in the picture at all. Not at all. Because it's an ex-girlfriend's dog. Also, you can't really ex someone until you are forced apart from each other. Yeah, that's a good point. You can't really grow from the relationship if you just...

stayed in it but started having sex outside of it. Right, right, right. You should in no way have to go to this guy's ex-girlfriend's place of living currently in order to have sex with this guy. No, you're so right. The fact that there was never a break from living together. Right. Like, even if you don't fuck, there are weird relationship intimacy aspects where it's like, you can't immediately become just roommates then. It's one, and I think the point I was gonna make earlier was like,

Are there exes that become legitimate platonic friends? Yes. Sure. That happens, right? But you need time. But you need time or maybe one of them's gay. Like the only way this is acceptable is if she came out as a lesbian. Yes, yes. Like truly, I legitimately think that. Because like is he making her meals? Are they watching when neither of them have plans? Are they sitting on the couch and like watching a show together? Yeah, like that's too much with an ex.

The only way I could even sort of see this is not weird in the way we're thinking of it is if this guy is...

so indifferent and like absent-minded. Sleep at the wheel. Sleep at the... Like I have friends who are like so fucking stupid. They're just like, oh, okay, I'll do that. Like if he's one of those guys who has zero going on in his brain... So get out anyway. Exactly. And if he's the kind of guy that doesn't find this, doesn't see why this is weird... Yeah. That's also fucked up. He's like a complete dullard and you don't want to be... So...

Yes, this is bizarre. Male perspective, female perspective, any perspective. This is fucking weird as shit. And I don't know. Find out if she's doing his chores for him. That feels important. Like, do they? I mean, I wonder. I wonder if it's possible that, you know, they were poly. Maybe like the boundaries of the relationship are so like, you know.

dissolved or hazy when they were in the polycule that they kind of became roommates. It's kind of like extended to their post-relationship life. The way old gay dudes eventually just become roommates because they just fuck a hundred other guys. They have like an open relationship and they're like, oh, that's my roommate. Is he polycyclic?

Is she Pauly or is she Pauly? Oh, true, true. We don't know if he's Pauly. But also, I don't know much about that community, so I don't know if it's like if she says she's Pauly, that means he is. No, no, it's not like that. He's not automatically like that. I mean, we don't know, right? We don't know. I guess you can suppose that the kind of-

That sounds like a thing that somebody learned on a podcast. Yeah, if I had to guess, relationship anarchy just means there's no order, you don't rank your partners. It's pretty much like free love, I suppose. But anyway...

This is fucked up and weird any way you slice it. And because our friend here is calling in, she's even saying it's not the sex. She doesn't have the sexual hang up. So you're right. He's fucking weird to do this. Anyone who would agree to do this is fucking weird in some way. And I don't have a read of the situation myself.

that's charitable to your boyfriend. Yeah. I can't, right now I'm struggling to find a way where I'm like, this dude is not fucking weird. Yeah, I can't, I'm being less charitable but I too can't find it. Yeah. I just feel like if I got in a fight with my boyfriend and I knew he was at home with his ex, I would just constantly be like, is he going, this bitch, she doesn't do it like, and then they just bang and I don't know. Well, that's another thing. If you live, if you're around your ex,

for long enough, you're probably gonna fuck them. You've done it before. Yeah. If you want it, you can... I don't know. It just feels like a recipe for disaster. And it's like... Right, nothing good can come of it. I don't want to tell you to get out of something if you're fully in love with this guy. I think you can be a regular guy maybe and have found yourself in this situation, but it does feel like...

the point about independence stands out to me. It's like, you don't want a guy who is this lazy about his living situation. Who's so about, like, clearly inertia is the strongest force in this man's life. I mean, maybe he's incredibly powerful and successful business-wise and just lets his personal life fall completely to shit. But this is a new level of like, you need to grow up and get your own place. This is, I usually hate when people say that to somebody with roommates if it's like,

Or get a different roommate. Right. Just get a different fucking roommate. I'm not trying to shame you for having a roommate. It's the fact that it's a girl you used to regularly have sex with. Yeah. Who you broke up with two and a half years ago. Whose dog is very territorial. Yeah, by the way, the dog is enough of a reason to move out. The dog is like, they're fucking, they're fucking, they're fucking, they're fucking.

All right, that's fucking, you wanted crazy. We kind of, that was all just warming up. You have a couple more to throw at our friend Katie here, Elvis. Let's hear them. Yeah, here's another kind of crazy one.

Whoa. Okay. Mm-hmm.

and I was like okay apparently there was like a long ass paragraph that went with it and I was like alright so what was like can you tell me anything about like what it looked like or like what was like what could you see so basically you know that

I'm sure. Oh!

That's tough. Yeah, I mean, that's weird. I don't know, like, should I, like... Because, like, on the one hand, like, you know, there's an issue of, like, damn, there's, like, news floating around. Yeah, that's not great. I got to know she had this. Like, I've deleted everything on my end, so, like, you know, long since. So, like, I don't, like, that's kind of concerning that she would just, like, send that out there. Yeah, that's weird. I get whatever I guess, but, like, you know...

He had a character witness testify. Yeah.

crazy ex about this and be like yo like please no like except my news around or whatever or like do I just let it go I'm tempted to let it go cause I feel like talking to her about it will only just like give her what she wants but whatever give me your thoughts though

Yeah. So is he saying that he didn't know she had a sex tape in sense of they both had it and he thought they deleted it or he didn't know she recorded it? I'm guessing he thinks it was deleted.

But could be the other one as well. I will say, if it's the other one, if you wanted to, you could call the probably cops on that. They're not allowed to do that. Yeah. They won't do shit, but yeah. Yeah. The police are really going to be a sex crime. We'll take a look at that.

Certainly send it over and we can take a look at it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you have ones where you're not as prominently featured as kind of her? You see her tits more? What about like POV? Is there like, can you guys do a POV one? Just for me. Now, were you ever wearing maybe a police officer's uniform in any of these pornographies? Could you send that one over? Uh,

You do got to commend this guy because it sounds like he kept it so cool and collected when his girl came at him and he was just... She's probably freaking out. He's just like, well, what did it say? What was the contents of this image? And like...

I'm of two minds here, right? One, I'd like to say this is a good guy who something weird happened to him. Two, this is a liar who's using our show as a way to put on record. He's like, babe, look, I even, when I was talking to the podcast about it. I wouldn't lie to Stavros. Yeah.

You think I'd launder my image through Stavros' podcast? I really feel like we do get some calls that are someone trying to go on the record in a third way. I've watched clips and gone, that guy's just... This is evidence. But I don't think this is that. I agree with you, Eldest.

This is kind of the way to handle something like this. You're like, I know I'm not doing anything wrong. Yeah. So can we please together get to the bottom of what is going on here? Now, it's also unfortunately a great tactic to gaslight. Yeah. But I do take him at his word. And hopefully his sister is a good person, not someone who would just aid in a... I don't think that's a family of gaslighters. Although I've met many of those sisters. Yeah. My brother never does anything wrong. He's an angel. Yeah.

I mean, but what was the ex trying to even say? Why delete it? That I don't get. Why'd she delete the message right after she sent it to her? What's the... I feel like information's being left out.

I mean, I guess if we're going to, again, take him at his word that this is somebody who's just kind of maliciously doing this to fuck with him. And look, she might be this person. You know, he called her a crazy bitch, whatever. He also, we don't know the level of how it ended. He said he cut her off. It was on again, off again. There's certainly relationships that in your mind you handled a lot better than you actually did in reality. So this is probably a mix of

He mistreated her a bit, but not enough to warrant doing something like this. Right. This is kind of like somebody is, you know. Years later, this is? Years later, it sounds like. What's the fucking point?

I mean, you know, who knows, right? And that's, and the delete, why did she delete it? Maybe because, you know, she didn't want the evidence or the scrutiny for him to be like, oh, this is from. Yeah, as you can see, I didn't have my tattoo yet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this is clearly. I hadn't done my cover up. I hadn't done my cover up yet. Yeah.

Yeah, I think if we are taking you at your word, definitely don't reach out. Definitely. Definitely don't reach out. Potentially block. Like this is the kind of thing where you don't reach out to the person directly ever. Ever. And if it continues to be a problem, you go to a lawyer. You don't ever try and handle this with somebody who, if we're talking about somebody who's potentially leaking news, like,

This is a wrench porn, essentially. And you do not deal with them at all, especially if it's somebody who clearly wants some kind of reaction, is trying to fuck your shit up. So yeah, dude. Don't reach out. Don't reach out. And if it keeps going on, that's when you consider a lawyer or I guess the police, even though they're not obviously going to do anything about it. But yeah, lawyer is your better bet in that circumstance. Don't. You do not reach out to this person.

Wild move. Ever again. No, certainly not. Eldest. Bobby. Guess. What up? Get a Ravens, baby. Let's fucking go. Fuck the Chiefs. Fuck the Bengals. Fuck the Spillers. Right about all that.

My mother-in-law wants me to call her mom. I think that's a little bit weird, quite frankly. The first time I ever met my mother-in-law, I said, I looked at her, I was like, oh, if my wife, if the girl I'm dating looks like you in 50 years, I'm stoked.

I'm not saying that. He wants to fuck his mother-in-law. Yeah, that's it. That's what we're running into here. He's basically like, this is too directly Freudian for me to call an older woman. I want to fuck mom. I don't want to close the door. Fuck.

Just in case something happens to my wife. Oh, that's fucking awesome. Respect for giving us that. First of all, it was weird already. You didn't have to let us know that you kind of want to fuck this lady. I'm stoked. I'm stoked. All right. What else we got? So I'm not saying like I have sexual feelings or anything. Yes, you are. But like... Right. We get you. I don't know. I'm like... So yeah. I don't know. It's weird. But like...

I'm under some pressure to call her mom. She wants me to say it, but like, that's weird. My mom's also still alive as well. And I don't know. I'll,

I'm in my mid- Hold on. Part of this. And, uh... It wouldn't be less weird if your mom was dead. He's like, well, my mom's still alive, so I don't need a replacement mom. I'm already calling someone mom. I can't... I can't do it until my mom's in the dirt. Yeah. Like, that's fucking... You thinking that's weird. Yeah.

There's a lot going on here. Not till my mom dies, lady. Look, Barbara, when my mom dies and you get a little less sexy, hopefully it's in eight years, you know, you've let yourself go a little bit. Maybe we can think about it. 33. And I just...

I think it's kind of weird. Okay. It is. But also, like, my wife's not exactly going to bat for me on this one and, like, not being like, you know, Mom, that's strange. I'm just like...

A little odd for me personally. I love some context here. I don't know. Context for me? Most people I talk to are just like, this is odd. Love an expert. Love you guys. You're not exactly an expert on this topic. Fuck the Yankees. Wait, fuck the Yankees. You're right. You said the phrase that unites the whole podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to call him mom. Yeah, yeah, yeah. From Baltimore. What if you tried out like a maw?

Because I know my dad calls my... I'm, like, thinking about my dad calls my... Or called, rest in peace, my mom's mom, Ma. Yeah. Because it's, you know, you're not going to say, like, Matilda. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ma. I mean, that's so fucking... What, like...

Once you've been married for a while, I think it's normal. But I guess maybe he's just saying it's too early. The insistence upon it is what's strange. The insistence is really strange. It's like, okay. She said that to me twice and then we'd get past it. But if she was like...

And you should call me mom. She's coming out of a low cut top. Yeah. No bra. You can see her nipples. She's like, call me mom. Mommy's fine. Yeah. Or mommy. Yeah. Yeah. Start calling her mommy. Here's the thing. You got to fight through this. Up the stakes. She wants to call. Alpha the alpha. Yeah. Mommy. Mommy. Hey, mommy. Mama. I mean, it is. Okay. So let's break this down step by step. Yeah. Okay.

The insistence is very weird. Yeah. What do people traditionally do? I don't even know. I'm trying to think through. I feel like I...

I know, I mean, Dan and I aren't married yet. He calls my parents by their names. I don't think he, I can't picture him ever calling my dad, dad. I think that would be wild, especially because his dad's single. Yeah, are you going to call this guy dad? Yeah. Are you going to call her husband dad? Hey, mom and dad. I think people do. Again, once you've been married for a while, and this person has been like a mother figure in your life. I guess. Then I guess you'd call them mom.

But early on, I mean, what if it's the mom, the mother-in-law trying to, she's picking up that you'd fuck her and she's trying to establish a boundary. Call me mother so we can dead this. Or maybe she's moving the ball forward a little bit. We need to know if that is in the picture or not. That would clear things up for us, I think. I do find it weird. Here's what I think is the weirdest aspect of all this. Why your wife doesn't have your back here, right? If you tell your wife like,

Honestly, it's a little weird for me. I can't see myself being the kind of guy that calls my mother-in-law mom. Can you talk to your mom about this? Or can we kind of like... Can you kind of give me a little advice on how you think I should... You know your mom. What's his wife's vibe on this? That's the part that's confusing me the most, right? Because...

An inflexible mother-in-law, unfortunately, it's an archetype, but it's also an archetype for a reason, right? Yes, quite a bit. There's often, in-laws, it's a reason why it's like the most...

Across all cultures you want to you want a safe target and pick and you yeah pick in-laws If you don't want to be racist or homophobic, right? Like if you don't want to just go to that if you don't want to be offensive you want to just be you know something that can be on network TV that'll play in every country across the world In-laws is who you make fun of right first stuff like this They have weird little hang-ups that you don't want to do but you have to put up with them because they're your you know spouses parents and

I do find it strange your wife does not have your back here or at least isn't kind of like... Ma, lay off of him. He'll call you mom when he's ready. He's going to be around for the rest of our lives, hopefully. I would just try to say like, hey, I'm going to call you mom. Something about it for me, I'm not really like there yet. Would it be okay if I get there on my own time? That's what I would say. And then she's like, what would it take to get you on that? Show me those tits and I'll start calling you mommy. She starts counting you down. She's like, what about in 10?

He's like, oh, stop counting. I have to go. Yeah, I don't know, man. This is fucking strange, but I agree. I think Katie, we just don't know enough about these people, right? Yeah.

I do like Katie's Ma idea. Like, do they have a motherly nickname for her within the family that you can sort of, like, adopt? Right. Because Mom is, like, too specific. Mom is fucked up, dude. Yeah, is there a Ma? Is there, like, I don't know, like, or even, like, any nickname they might have for her? Yeah, yeah. I think that's a nice little compromise. Families often have, like, family nicknames. You know, my grandma, we would call her Hyuna. That was, like, her, like...

It was like her nickname in her family growing up because she was very pale and it means snow. Whoa. And so they're, you know, like she basically... Damn, your grandmother did Informer? Oh, yeah. She was big in the white reggae community. But yeah, some kind of middle ground, some kind of family thing that...

you know, connotes closeness, but isn't like, doesn't have the loaded in every direction. Mom is, you know, mom, mommy, dad, daddy. Those are loaded terms. In ways. Psychologically in many ways. And I would stay away from it. If you're really socially adept, I feel like you could even introduce a fun new nickname for her that shows

she loves that then replaces in her mind the need for you to call her mom. So you could just be like, hey, big G. And she'd be like, oh, that's great. And then that turns out. And then the whole thing goes away. It never comes up again. Yeah. I think. I think that's a great one. That is a high, that's a high like level maneuver. Yes. You would have to really make it not obvious you were trying to replace the mom thing. She can't catch on. Yeah. But it's just going to happen naturally. It has to feel organic. And it's got to catch fire. It's got to be a good nickname. Yeah. Yeah.

Absolutely. That's what I would try. That's tough, though. What you're describing is really tough. Only for the high-level people.

Yeah. So, you know, good luck. I don't think he has that in him, unfortunately. Just from the minute 35 we spent. He did say fuck the Yankees. He did say fuck the Yankees. He's got a good head on his shoulders. That is some good common ground on this. And who doesn't want to fuck their mother-in-law? Just a little bit. Just to see how it feels. Well, that's honestly, the thing I'm thinking of is like, what is her vibe? Because that also is another archetype, is the kind of milfy, sort of seem, like...

The weirdest woman in the world to me is the one who seems to have a competition with her daughter. It's a lot of women. And that's a crazy amount of people where it's like they're sort of trying to cuck their... Like, is that what's going on here? When she insists you call her mom, is she touching you physically? Yeah. That to me is the tell. She's like, hey...

Yeah, the little thumb waggle. She gives you a thumb waggle. That's too much. She's insisting. Or is she doing it from a... Please, call me mom. If she's doing it from a purely sort of like almost grandmotherly perspective, then that's the only way I would consider folding. Right. If she's so... But we already know that's not the case because he wants to fuck her. So never mind.

Never mind. Just figure this out. Try the nickname thing. Give her a nickname or just Ma. Ma. Try Mother and that'll just put her off to it. Yeah, Mother. Hello, Mother. She's going to hate that. So that's... And again...

What's going on with you? That's the thing I wonder is like, what's up with your wife? Why isn't she on your side? You're going to come up with stuff that's more serious than this. Yeah. Even within the family. And if she can't kind of if you guys can't be a united front on call me mom. What happens when there's some weird like, you know.

legal battle within the family. You know what I mean? Like some kind of inheritance squabble. You know what I mean? Like, who knows? Whatever. I hope it doesn't happen, but something to consider. Also very common. Yeah, happens unfortunately. You got something fun for us to go out on here, little LD? Hey, Stavi baby. Hey, big fan. Loved your show in Portland when you came out here in March. Anyways, listen, man. With the baseball season going on,

I was born and raised a Mariners fan, but they suck. So I decided this year I was going to break...

up with them like it's a toxic relationship and start rooting for the Orioles. So I became an O's fan this season, but now... No, wait, no. He's just saying it like it's normal, like we're going to breeze past the like, they suck, so I broke up with them. Orioles fan now. Here's my question. It's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. How'd you pick the Orioles? What a weird choice if you're trying to get out of toxicity.

I guess in a weird way, because what you don't want to do is do the classic, I'm a Yankee, Red Sox, whatever fan now. I'm like a big, historically successful. You don't want to be the guy who's like, you break up with your small market team and you're like, I root for the Lakers now. I love the Chiefs. Yeah, exactly, right? So I guess I could, now this is just a man who doesn't know his history though.

Because the Orioles have had a couple good seasons. We've choked in the playoffs both times. And I guess you could be like, okay, there's a world where you could be like, they're a young team that was getting it together. They've been embarrassed a couple times. They're going to come roaring back. I'm going to be on the ground floor of this thing. Sure.

That's the only... And they're not... You know, they haven't won in forever. You know, fun city. You know, fun ballpark. I want to go to Camden Yards. Whatever the fuck. Maybe that's how he came to it, but...

brother i need to know where he is geographically yeah true true true because what a weird choice you can barely it's going to be a huge trip to get out to a game for your team unless they come portland i guess he's south of in portland so huh that's bizarre you didn't think maybe the team's in their like division he hates too much to like sure so maybe like anything on the west coast kind of was like sure do but uh we don't need to fuck

We can bleep. Well, it doesn't matter. We don't even know that that's his fault. Anyway, whatever. Eldest is just fucking stupid. So anyway, yeah. They fucking suck. Yeah. I don't know what that's about. And it's really, really hurting. And I'm wondering, like...

How do I go back to being like, maybe a Mariners fan? Or like, what? I don't know. It just doesn't feel right being an O's fan right now. Oh! There goes your theory about getting into the ground level. I don't know what to do. Yeah, but I think that's what he was doing, though. And he's mad that he has to... One season? Break your heart. First of all, shut the fuck up. Let me know. This year, he decided...

How fucking dare you? This year he broke up with the Mariners. How fucking dare you, dude? We aren't even through to the, we're not even at the all-star break. Yeah. They could still turn it around, by the way. You fucking asshole. This is the thing.

the thing that people always forget about baseball is you try to get back into baseball and you take it way too seriously way too early. You don't just go like dude we have so much time. People are going to change teams. I still remember 2007 my senior year of high school the Orioles were leading the AL East at the break and we didn't even make the fucking playoffs. It means absolutely nothing. So your willingness

to bail this early to me alarms me. Yes. Alarms me. It also, fuck you. What do you mean? You barely were in this. Why did you even choose it? Now, could you go back to the Mariners? Yes. But now you have to stay with the Mariners forever. This is like... Hi, Mariners. I know. By the way... They're fun to root for. They don't... It's not going great, you know, but they're...

It's like four. I mean, I don't know. I'm a very casual. Look, I am a casual baseball fan for sure, right? Like, I'll throw an O's game on in the background. Yeah, that's what it's for, by the way. Baseball's the best background. I don't want it to be completely silent, but I want to, you know, just... I'll catch that. I'll watch highlights.

When I'm home, I try and go to a game if they're in the playoffs. And I've been working, but I was planning this year to go to playoff games. We'll see. But I'm that level of fan. And the thing is...

And I was a big fan when I was a little kid. So there is something in me that when the Orioles start making runs, I pay more attention. And when they win, then I think it'll happen. It's going to be that much sweeter. And that's the whole thing with the Mariners, right? And I had a thing. I had something kind of similar to this in terms of when I moved to New York 10 years ago,

Baltimore doesn't have a basketball team. I was going to say the Knicks. Exactly. Baltimore doesn't have a basketball team. But it's not. You didn't just pick...

You can't pick out a team on the opposite side of the country. I moved here. I always loved New York. You didn't have a basketball team growing up. You were replacing somebody. Yeah, exactly. But even for me, I feel like I've put in already 10 years of being a Knicks fan. I watched Chris Stapp's Porzingis get drafted at an open mic on the Lower East Side. I was at the game where he fucking tears his ACL. The last game he played as a Knicks fan, as a Knicks...

member of the Knicks. I was at that one. I watched the first Knicks home playoff win during the COVID season against the Hawks. I went to fucking games. You know, I've been to a lot of them. I feel like I've put my time in. You saw that loss. Let's not forget the loss you just saw to the Pacers. The most devastating sporting event I've ever been to in my life. Like, I'm just getting over now. And if we hadn't made that awesome comeback, I would want to fucking blow my brains out. But I feel like I've put in my time. Yes.

And I fully feel like I've earned being a Knicks fan, whatever. You're not a fucking Orioles fan at all, dude. You know what I mean? When I was a kid, we had great teams that always got fucking smoked. And then we were just dog shit. And then the couple times we flirted with... Machado gets hurt, we lose to Kansas City, and we just haven't ever been back in a real way in the playoffs since.

You fucking have been been around for you know two months and you're talking about this sucks cold weather baseball We're not even warm yet. What the fuck are you talking about? You can't be this mad you can here's what I'm gonna say if it said if you asked what you did What do I do? Do I just like go back to being a Mariners fan? My best advice to you honestly is yes, absolutely get over whatever this was It was just a little dalliance like cheating on your wife twice you like

thought about cheating. This is like you were entertaining. And you're like, what have I done? You were emotionally. My children. And you hide this. Yes. You never, you fucking burn whatever O's. He hasn't even bought memorabilia yet. No chance. Yes. You just go back and forget about this. Atone for your sins. Atone for your sins. Buy a new jersey. Give yourself fully to the marriage.

- Get to the Mariners, yeah, get a Julio Rodriguez jersey. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And then get out there, and then when the Mariners win, you're gonna laugh to yourself about like, thank God I didn't, remember when I was gonna jump ship? 'Cause how much does that suck you jump ship

The team wins without you and you're like, okay. You can't go back. That's the thing. Right. You have to realize this. What you're feeling now, imagine how much worse it would be if it's four years later, the O's still haven't been good and the Mariners start putting it together. And then all of your, I don't know, friends, if you grew up with friends that were all Mariners fans are all celebrating how good the Mariners are and you have to be like, I picked the

And then you try and come back and they will never let you hear the end of it. They would never let, I wouldn't. If they let you in, they're weird friends. They're not good friends. If I had a friend like that, if I had an O, like a friend of mine who was like cheering for the fucking like White Sox or some shit. I mean, another horrible team obviously, but like whatever. And then the O's got good and they were like, oh, hey guys. You would never let them hear the end of it. Do,

what any sensible baseball fan does, which is you gotta pick an NL team. Yes. Have a National League team that you root for. Have a team that you're like, look, this isn't my team, but I heavily fuck with them. And when my team's pissing me off, I watch their games instead. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was amazed...

The Mets were that for me as a kid. And it was almost like, that's also part of the Knicks thing. Also part of like, I've been in Queens for 10 years. They were always, I always, you know, you kind of always knew you wanted to move to New York. I did anyway. So that was always for me, right? When the Mets were back. And then, you know, and it was cool because, I mean, they fucking lost to the Yankees. But when the Mets are in the Subway Series, I get to root against the Yankees. It was awesome. So it's like, maybe that's what you want to do. You want to pick something where it's like,

Who is the like, you know, your biggest rivals like NL, who would they hate the most to be in the World Series? And maybe, but you're so right. How do you not have an NL team? Yeah, you just pick an NL team. That's crazy. That's the win. I feel like a generation of us all

I feel like the Braves were very popular in the sense because of TBS. Yeah, absolutely. So I know a lot of people have like the Braves are their secondary team. The Cubs run a lot. I feel like they were bad, but the Cubs, I feel like we're on a lot as well. Yeah. You just got to have another team. You just got to have teams you root for. I think don't be crazy about your fandom in the sense that you think you can't like another team. Like you can watch as many teams as you want to. I just don't think I mean, breaking up with your team.

And then giving up on your new team after a couple weeks is crazy. You're so right. It's a dalliance. It's, you know, you went on, you're on the Sugar Baby website. You're on Ashley Madison. You're on Ashley Madison. You made the account. You went on a date. Maybe you got your dick rubbed through your jeans, but nothing more has happened. Now you can still turn back. Go back to your wife. You can still turn back, but you're getting, you know. Give yourself to your marriage. Yes, yes.

Yes. You know, get her flowers. Have a vow renewal ceremony. Fix it. Fix it, dude. Fix it, because your emails got leaked on Ashley Madison, and we're all going to see that you were on there. Yeah, and we don't want you, by the way. Fuck you, dude. You're a fucking Bruce fan. Fuck this guy. We're going to fucking turn around. It's early yet. A lot of talent in this ball club. Last place. Three-game win streak. Last place. Three-game win streak. We're getting there. That's all we'll take.

All right. Well, listen. I think that's going to do it. Katie, thank you so much for being here. Thank you for having me. This was so fun. I had a blast. Plug the show. Where else can people see you? Oh, Casuals. It's twice a week, Tuesdays and Thursdays, wherever you get your audio podcasts. We're not on YouTube yet. Please don't scream at me. It's through SiriusXM. You do film it. I know. I know. You do that.

The editing of the video. We don't have enough people. Sirius is an audio company and I'm in this partnership with them for a little bit. Yeah. So I would like it to focus on their, all their stuff is audio numbers based. I mean, I also think audio, I mean, video obviously is important, but you guys are doing clips. You're doing the stuff that matters. We'll get there. It's just we're not there yet. Yeah, you'll get there. Great show. Very fun. Thank you. You don't need Sirius to listen to it. You get it wherever you get your podcasts.

A ton of different... You have a really interesting mix of guests where it's not just... You know, it's not just like...

other sports personalities it's like it is athletes it's comedians it's just it's interesting people so check it out great show I did the first one you can see me lose my shit I'm really sad we had just lost in the playoffs and it was really good I made it so that Katie can say fuck on her own show yeah thanks to me he said it a hundred times I mean I said it a lot and I think I said like you know Josh Allen can suck my dick I think I was pretty graphic yes stuff like this did come up which

Which actually, I do like Josh, actually. It's hard to respect him so much because he is good. Doesn't mean he can't suck your dick. He can also still suck my dick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck the bills. This is our year, baby. The Ravens are fucking taking it all. Go watch Casuals. Listen to Casuals. And we will see you next time, guys. Bye-bye.

If you work as a manufacturing facilities engineer, installing a new piece of equipment can be as complex as the machinery itself. From prep work to alignment and testing, it's your team's job to put it all together. That's why it's good to have Grainger on your side. With industrial-grade products and next-day delivery, Grainger helps ensure you have everything you need close at hand through every step of the installation. Call 1-800-GRAINGER, click Grainger.com, or just stop by. Grainger, for the ones who get it done.