Bonus #121 - Bus Boys Vol. 1 [PATREON PREVIEW]
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- Hey Stavi, thanks for taking the call. Hey esteemed guest, hey Elvis, thanks for your combined wisdom. I have a wonderful wife of 10 years. I have two great kids. I am a very blessed man. - Nice. - There is one thing in my marriage that makes me insane. Long before I was in the picture, - Before?

Man painted a portrait of my wife and she has kept it. It's in our house. I hate this thing. I want to burn it. I want to run it over with a car. You know, I don't want this thing in my, in my home.

I don't think for a second that my wife would ever leave me or cheat on me, but I hate that there's a portrait of my wife in my home painted by a former lover. Oh, a guy fucked her. Yeah, yeah. Is that – like am I justified there? Not really. Or do I just need to get over it?

I mean, absolutely, you need to get over it. Like, does she talk about this guy? Like, okay, would I be pumped? I don't know that I'd be pumped. And as a thought bubble drawn in, be like, I've never been fucked this good in my life. Yeah, yeah. Like you said before, like, good art is good art. Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. Good art is good art. Now, would it... I empathize here because...

We all know our partner. Everybody's fucked somebody else. It's not a big deal. You have to get over that. But the fact that you have a physical totem

and reminder of somebody fucking your wife is, it's not ideal, right? Like I, you're okay to be a, like, we're not calling you fully crazy, but you also do need to get over it, I think. Like, what do you, like he said, there's no other problem. There's no other, you are creating a problem by making this thing. By like, you kind of give it, like imagine saying that to your wife. Like, what do you think she would say?

I don't know. I think... Oh, go ahead. No, please. No, no, you. No, please. I was just going to say, I empathize with this guy much more than you do stuff. It would piss me off. This would definitely... Is it a nude? Is it a nude? Yeah, I guess we have to know what the portrait is. It doesn't matter if it's even a nude or not. That matters a little to me. I'd be more pissed off if it was a nude. He said portrait, which to me is like...

Yeah. But I don't actually know. If it's just a nice pic, what if a guy that fucked her took a cool picture of her and she put it up? Would you be mad at that? Is it just the effort? Is it just the reminder? I guess you... Okay, you know what it is for me? Go ahead. It would be different if it's a picture because a picture is like, oh, look at this fun picture or something. The effort this guy put in there. The effort, the fact that it's like... It's imbued with... I want to preserve this piece of art that someone made to commemorate me. And that's...

That would honestly piss me off. At first, it would be like what you're saying where like,

This is annoying, but I can't really say shit. But now they're like married with two kids and you've just had to like have a reminder of this thing like every day in your home. I'm also wondering where is this thing hung up? Where is it displayed? Sure. Is she like, I think we should put this above our bed. Above her side of the bed. And I think this guy is within his right to just be like,

Hey, look, I know you like this picture of you or whatever. I'm not even like mad or jealous or feeling any type of way. I just don't like seeing this thing. It reminds me of your former lover. How about I'm not even saying throw this thing out. I'm saying maybe it's time to put this thing in storage in the garage. Maybe it's time to think about posterity and preserve it. But put it in a place that's not as highlighted. Maybe put it in a wing of the home we don't use. Yeah.

Put it in the fucking kitchen so only you see it. You know what I'm saying, Eldest? Put it in the fucking laundry room, you fucking... Oh, you got a picture of his cock in your wallet too, you fucking bitch! That's something like that, you thinking, Eldest? Yeah. That's kind of how I imagine the conversation going. Yeah, it would start measuring, like, I know you want a fucking bitch! I know you think about it every fucking day! Why else would you fucking keep it? Oh.

That's what I think. I think he's within his right to bring it up. And I do think she is a bitch if she makes a big stink about it. Because for her, it's like, what are you really fighting for here? Just be like, oh, yeah, whatever. It's also how good a portrait is it, though? If it's actually good, but if it is... No, I'm trying to go on your side here where I'm like, if it's like a mediocre, like if it's the level of...

Sipping paint. If it looks like a bitch made a tree while she was driving Cabernet. But if it's a beautiful portrait and it's just a matter of like, who cares who made it? It's a beautiful portrait of your wife. What if this thing is worth $10,000 in terms of like man hours and the talent of this guy? You know what I mean? Like if it's shitty, you're winning me over. But if it's really good, then you're like...

Then it gets a little... And then one other thing I'll say, and I want our panel to weigh in before it just is a point-counterpoint with me and Eldis. What's the statute of limitations on bringing this up, though? This has been here for so long. What are you, nine years in a relationship? You're like, you know what? I've hated that fucking painting all day. That's another thing to consider. I could see it gnawing at you more and more over the years and just growing because you never brought it up. I know. And you're like...

At a certain point, it's like, doesn't this bitch fucking see how crazy it is to still keep this thing up? Why is she just ignoring? Doesn't she know I'm pissed off? I don't know. That's what I'm saying, Elders. It sounds like the classic... I feel like that's the question for me. There's a lot of questions. How good is it? What's her attachment to it? Where is it hung up? I feel like it's worth a conversation, of course. I don't know. If there was...

If it was a photo of her and that person, that's different. If it's a portrait of her and the person, much different. Right, but it's like a portrait of her. She's got her back blown out. He's got armor on. He looks awesome. He's fucking her pussy. She's like, it's art. You're being weird.

It's like our kids have to look at this. Yeah, but if it's her in a nice dress and it's like from here to here, it's like, I don't know. But go ahead. Sorry. No, I think it's like, yeah, I think it's worth, I mean, maybe a cop-out answer, but like worth fucking talking about. You should talk about it. And, but it is hard to, I mean, I guess there's ultimately no statute of limitations if something's bothering you in a relationship and you should bring it up. And in fact, we say this too, where it's just like,

You should talk about it as soon as possible, right?

But it's the old thing of the best time to fucking plant a tree is 10 years ago. The second best time is today. If this really is gnawing at you now, bring it up. My question is, though, what if his wife is like what if? OK, let's say this is a beautiful portrait, right? She has no attachment to the guy. She just thinks it's a nice portrait. Like, again, think about like like, OK, think about the girlfriend. We just the girlfriends we mentioned from college, right?

If my girlfriend from college from 10 years ago, who I see as someone who's like, if I saw her today, it would be nice to catch up. There's no romantic... You know what I mean? It's like... Yeah. It's an old friend as far as I'm concerned. If that girl...

a fucking portrait of me that was awesome or just like made me a gift or something, right? That I displayed. Like, is it worse that it's a portrait? What if this guy made her a fucking sculpture or made her a fucking vase or some shit? If a girlfriend of that level gave me something nice and I just thought it was a cool piece of art to put in my house and my wife was like,

This is disrespectful that you have this in our house. I'm like, from that girl? The girl from 15 years ago? So that also matters too. Because if this is something that she doesn't, and she probably doesn't, right? She obviously has no, I would hope, has no romantic, this isn't like a romantic thing for her.

Then what if she's like, that's kind of weird. Like, I think the hard thing here is they could both be right. He could be right to say, this makes me feel weird. And she could be right to be like,

Okay, that feels a little immature. You know what I mean? I'm a little worried that that is what's going to happen here, right? But you're right, Sax. They've got to talk about it because even if they are an impasse, then they can say, you know what? We both have valid viewpoints here. We don't agree. And maybe then it's like...

it goes in the fucking, like, you know... Yeah, as George would probably suggest, when he goes out of town, she can put it up. Yeah, when he goes out of town, yeah, she puts it up. Yeah, yeah. She looks at it longingly. No, I think you're right. I think it's, like, both... Like, I think he is valid to feel that way. Yeah, if you feel that way, you feel that way. But I also, like...

- But it's kind of, there's some novel, like I don't have a portrait of me. - Right, right, right. That is cool. That is cool. - I'd probably keep it. - Do you remember my, I literally do have a portrait of me. - Oh yeah, you do. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Who painted it? - Oh, fat you. - Like my high school girlfriend. It's somewhere.

no idea. We have to find it. No, no, I don't have it. It was hanging up in a house in Arbutus, Maryland for years, but I wonder if we could still find it. That'd be so, yeah, definitely gone. Who the fuck is this guy? We should go knock on the door. It's been literally 15 years of college kids. It could be though. That would be the kind of thing. It's like, who's that fat guy? You know what I mean? It was a party house that kept getting passed down from different friends. Um,

It's your godchildren. But I would say to this guy, right? I would say, yes, we are on your side here. But think about this. And what kind of ex is this? If you feel super secure in a relationship, like think about the test I just applied about your college girlfriend. Like think about an ex that's so, so far in the rear view. To think of them romantically is kind of insane, right? Is this the kind of ex we're talking about?

If so, I would say drop it. If there's no anything and you're just you're hung up on it's a reminder that somebody fucked your wife 20 years ago or 10 years ago. They you got to let that go. I am firmly I'm planting my flag on if that's the only thing that's pissing you off. You got to let that go. If there's some weird thing and they had some kind of whirlwind romance and he's maybe even like the one that got away or some weird shit.

Then I'm a little more on your side, but ultimately this is your decision, pal. We really did look at this from every possible angle. And, you know, you could go Red Pill Sula with it and say, it's me or the painting, you whore. Also, if your wife is hot and her tits are out in the picture, just send it to us.

Yeah, we will be... You know, we should start the Stavi's World Portrait Gallery for cucked... For paintings that make our listeners feel cucked. That would actually be awesome. Are there other paintings?

This is the first one we've gotten. First one, man. And we would love to display that. Like, if you're a man who listens and you feel emasculated by a piece of art, send it in to us and we'll display it. That's so awesome. Any art. Any art whatsoever. It doesn't have to be a painting. The gallery. No, it does not have to. It's just mixed media. So, yeah, good luck, little buddy.