170: The Shocking Truth About Dairy: Why are we *really* drinking milk?
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As a country, America has always had a complicated relationship with dairy. One month, we hate it. The next month, some weird like cottage cheese recipe goes viral. And then it's like, yeah, we're back in. But here's something I thought was a little strange. You never hear about dairy farmers or the dairy industry going bankrupt or not doing well or something, you know? And it made me wonder, why?

Well, it turns out, little did I know, the dairy industry is in bed with the government. Do you understand? Me neither. I was like, what? Why? Well, because the government desperately needs dairy not to fail. And that's just the tip of the string cheese. We've been brainwashed into thinking we need dairy from the time we were kids.

kids, right? And there's actually a reason for that. Listen, it involves Marie Antoinette, cheese caves, and dominoes. Dominoes. Guys, listen, this one's wild. My eyelash is falling off. That's how wild it is. I'm not going to lie. I'm sorry, but you might think twice before ordering your next Crunchwrap Supreme. Welcome to the dark history of Big Dairy.

I'm milking the cow.

Hi friends, I hope you're having a wonderful day today. My name is Bailey Sarian and I'd like to welcome you to my podcast, Dark History. Here we believe history does not have to be boring. Nay nay. It might be tragic. It might be happy. But either way, it's our dark history. Before we get into it, don't forget to like and subscribe because I'm always here for you with new content. Hi. And let me know what you think down below in the comments section. I love hearing from you guys and I read comments at the end.

Just saying. Listen, dairy, dairy. Everyone you meet has a different reaction when you say cheese, right? People were like, no, no. Or some people were like, yeah. But dairy is like a huge part of the food industry, especially in the United States. I mean, do you guys remember those Got Milk ads? Oh, yes, I remember. Of course, I had the Mary-Kate and Ashley one up in my room. I sure did. I'm so sorry. And I was smoking my cigarettes, remember? Yeah, throwback. Throwback.

All the celebrities were doing the Got Milk campaigns. I mean, and if you are a celebrity and you didn't do a Got Milk campaign, you know, were you even a celebrity? Even Dr. Phil did one. Milk is such a normal part of our lives that we don't ever stop to think about like, why? Why do we drink it? And then if you do actually think about it, it's kind of weird that we choose to drink breast milk from another animal, you know?

In America, we were taught that, you know, milk gives you strong bones. But in other cultures, drinking milk as an adult was actually considered unclean and not something that civilized people did. For example, up until like the 1700s in Japan, they believed if you drank milk, you were going to be punished by the gods. Oh, yeah. To them, it was brutal and just plain ridiculous.

to take milk from another animal's teat for your own pleasure, okay? They didn't even call it milk. They called it white blood. Oh yeah. On top of that, most people had a bad reaction to drinking milk, right? They're like, "Why would I drink that? It makes me like explode."

from the backside, you know what I'm saying? This is because most humans are naturally lactose intolerant. We're not really meant to drink milk after we stop breastfeeding. So if you have a dairy allergy, just know that's normal. If you don't have a dairy sensitivity, congratulations, you evolved. You're superhuman. Me. This actually, today's story led me down this whole rabbit hole about like,

Why do some people have, why are some people lactose intolerant? Why are some people not? Like for me, I can eat cheese and dairy all day and I'm fine. And like that sucks because I kind of, I wish I didn't like it because I love it. You know what I'm saying? But finally in the 18th century, milk stopped being considered something evil. That's because it catches the attention of, you may know her from her head getting chopped off, Marie Antoinette.

So in France, the upper class started to notice something about the working class. They took notice that, you know, they had muscles. What's that about? You know, they seem strong. They seem like they can lift things. And the royals or the upper class are like,

Well, how come we can't do that? I mean, the royals, they had these like little skinny arms and like, oh, my delicate ankles, you know, like, how come I'm not big and strong like everyone else? So the royals are kind of idiots. And they're not realizing that maybe the working class people, the lower class people are like working and lifting stuff and like working. They don't compute.

So I guess the royals start paying attention to the lower class's diet and they realize one key thing that they were getting that the royals were not getting. Milk.

Peasants were drinking cow's milk and sheep milk, mostly because it was accessible and also filling. So the royals decide that, you know, my weak ankles need some help and support, so I better start drinking this white creamy stuff, you know? So the royals decide that they gotta get in on this milk stuff, so they start drinking it, you know? And they're pounding it like it's a frickin' protein shake. They're having it every day. They're like, it's gonna make my ankles strong.

At the same time, the King of France, King Louis XVI, was looking to gift his wife, Marie Antoinette, something different. Something that would make all the other royals very jealous. So he decides to give her her very own chic little dairy.

Cool. I mean, not everyone could say they got a little chic little dairy. This dairy, it wasn't like a normal one, of course. No, this was like the Barbie dream house of dairies. They had top of the line barn, the best farmers looking after the cows, and the best cows in the whole country. The dairy even had like these lovely breast shaped goblet cups that were there to collect fresh milk straight from the cow. Marie Antoinette's cows got great.

the princess treatment. They were washed, they were shampooed, they were brushed, they were kept clean. You know these cows were just living their best lives. They probably made great wagyu. So naturally the cow's milk wasn't like the milk that the you know lower class working class peasants were drinking. Her milk was way better quality and very clean okay because they have the money to upkeep this

beast of a cow, you know? Well, turns out, joke's on them, drinking milk didn't actually make any of the royals buff, give them strong ankles, anything like that. But it didn't really matter because this whole milk movement made milk cool to the masses. You know, if Marie Antoinette's doing it, she's drinking milk? Oh my

You know? Over in America, cows were considered like a staple. Okay, you had to have a cow. It was like having a car. You don't really want it. It's a lot of maintenance. It costs a lot. But in the long run, it's going to help you out, you know? So it was like, it was expensive, a lot of upkeep, a lot of work, but everyone needed one. Not only were cows strong enough to pull farming equipment, but you could also, you know, eat them, milk them. They help with, um,

grazing. They graze. You know, they play. They wear little bells.

I love it. So at this time, a lot of Americans were living on small farms and drink fresh milk from their own cows, which meant there was a lot of milk. Everyone has milk, got milk, milk, milk, milk, milk, so much milk. Now, uh, it was kind of like, Hey, what else can we like do with this? You know, let's be creative here. Let's use our brains. What can we do with all this milk? So Americans started creating recipes that use milk in everything. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, midnight snack.

A hole is a hole, you know? Plus, like, if you were having dinner or whatever, you would always have a glass of milk. I mean, no matter what the meal was. Dairy was becoming part of the American identity, and it only got more popular once the American Revolution started up. This is because the colonies started to boycott tea.

I know you remember this. This is the one thing I think we all remember learning in high school history class, right? The Boston Tea Party or whatever. Which is funny we haven't done an episode on the Boston Tea Party. I still don't fully understand what it was. Was it really just about tea? Like really? I guess it was. I need to do an episode on it, but it's just like high school trauma of the Boston Tea Party, you know? Anyway, so tea, huh?

I guess the British were charging like super high taxes on tea because they could, you know? And this led to the Boston Tea Party because people in America were pissed off. Like, why are you taxing us so much? And we raged.

Abigail Adams, she would become America's first lady. Okay. So she, people like paid attention to what she was saying. She had a lot of influence and she started telling people, American people, she's like, hey, you want to be patriotic? Then you need to switch from drinking tea to milk. All right, stick it to them. We're drinking milk, everyone. According to her, tea was a quote, foreign luxury.

In the late 1700s, Milk's identity starts to take a dark turn. This is because America, she's growing, all right? New cities are popping up all over the country and lots of people are packing up their lives on the farm to move to the city for work, right? Now, that's great. We love that. Woo, America.

But a lot of people were like, well, if I move to the city, like I can't bring the family cow. Need I explain? You know, you can't live in the city with a cow. Where are you going to put the cow? Where is the cow going? What's the cow going to do in the city? They can't graze. Where's the cow going to go? So people all over America are having to make the sacrifice. I hope they at least got some good meat out of it. But like they have to cut ties with the cows and

And a lot of people lose access to fresh milk. And this was a huge problem because to most Americans, milk was just as important, if not more important, than water. The people needed their milk fix, you know? And they're like, well, where do I get it now? Like, I had to give up Bessie. And listen, the people would do anything to get some milk.

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That's audible.com/darkhistory or text darkhistory to 500-500. Pick something good. There's so many things to pick. So America is expanding and cities are growing, but just because more people are living in the city didn't mean, you know, their taste buds changed. They wanted that milk. But.

There was nowhere to put the cows. You know, and refrigeration, as we know it today, it hadn't been invented yet. Plus, fun fact, milk starts to spoil basically as soon as it leaves the cow's udder. So what do we do? You know, they realized, they, the people, realized that in order for milk to be fresh enough to drink, the cows needed to be in the city. But without fields or grass...

How are the cows gonna eat? How's this gonna work you guys? Okay, so it's now like the 1850s and at this time there were a lot of brew houses making beer and distilleries making liquor. Because one thing people in the city loved was booze. So to make booze these places would use a lot of corn and hops to make beer and whiskey.

I'm not gonna get into the process of how alcohol is made because I didn't do well in chemistry and all that stuff. What you need to know is that hops and corn, they go through this process called fermentation and then it turns into booze. It's like magic, it's fun. After the booze was strained out, you're basically left with buckets of mush. This mush was just literally mush that had all the nutrients sucked out of it. It had no purpose, it was just mush. This bucket of mush was called swill.

So now, what do you do with it? You could throw it out or like, I don't know, arts and crafts, paper mache, something. But a lot of people were like, "Hmm, maybe this is something we can give to the cows."

So the cows are being fed this mush and then they started to produce something called swill milk. Okay? AKA not great milk. All right. Okay. This wasn't pure white milk from home. You know, this was mixed with shit. So the cows started to produce like this weird watery blue colored milk and the farmers, they're looking at the milk and they're like, oh shit, no one's going to buy this. Right? So...

what do we do because in order to get people to buy the milk they knew that they needed to whiten it to make it look white like everybody knows milk to be so they use something called plaster of paris to whiten it so plaster of paris um sounds so fancy how we think about it you're probably familiar maybe you're not but it's like basically um it's it's a powder it's a chalky powder you mix it

with water or cement and you can use it on walls to give a smooth finish. You could use it for like to add decorative stuff. It's stuff used in construction and like building and whatnot. It's not something that you should be drinking is what I'm getting at.

So this swill milk was whitened with this plaster. Then it was thickened with starch. And for some reason, it was also common at the time to add eggs and molasses to give it a better, less like nasty flavor. Yeah, I know. Protein shakes have come a long way, you guys. So thanks to this hack, farmers were able to sell their swill milk for a little while. But right away, people who drank this milk started getting sick.

Turns out, can't drink plaster, huh? Yeah, bad idea. Surprise to no one, turns out this milk wasn't great, was gross, but also on top of that, it was filled with deadly bacteria. So way to go, you guys, you really did it. This is a huge problem, right? We can all agree, not great. This is a big problem. But what was most concerning of all was that most people drinking the swill milk were babies.

Once you start messing with the babies, uh-oh. Whoa. In just one year, the New York Times reported that an estimated 8,000 infants died. What was going on? No one was being held accountable. What was happening? This was a huge scandal. People were putting pieces together, solving their little mysteries, and they're like, what do all these babies have in common?

swill milk, okay? The people were pissed. And for the first time, Americans stopped trusting dairy. I don't blame them. Could kill my kid. What am I gonna give them that for? If you drink Paris of Plaster, do you get hard on the inside? I'm just asking. I'm just wondering. Just wondering, like, do you get a mold on the inside? What happens? I'm curious.

We're very lucky now. I will say that. Because back in the day, you had milk,

water or alcohol. And that was like really all the options you had. Now at this time it was like fine, we can say F you to dairy and like not drink anymore. But the people at this time were feeling like, well, I can't even have water because the water was making them sick as well. Listen, America had to start somewhere. Okay. And back then there was no filtration system. Okay. So Americans, what they do, I don't know. They just like ate shit.

So Americans, again, when you have milk, water, or alcohol, if you can't have milk and you can't have water, what are you turning to? Alcohol. Yeah. So they're like, look, alcohol doesn't kill us. Bring it. We need it. Let me have it. And it's wild to think America was, everyone was drunk, drunk off their ass all of the time. Okay.

So I don't even know how they built everything. They were so fucked up. Just an observation. So Americans start drinking alcohol like you wouldn't believe it. They replaced most of their liquids with beer and/or liquor. They're thinking, yeah, this might, you know, make me like feel funny, whatever, but at least I'm not dead. So as you can imagine, this created a very heavy drinking culture in America. People were constantly drunk, behaving badly.

So it wasn't long before another movement popped up to stop this. The Temperance Movement. This episode of Dark History is brought to you by Squarespace, aka the MVP of the internet if you're trying to build literally anything online without losing your mind.

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So we're in America, people aren't drinking milk, people aren't drinking water, they're only drinking alcohol. So a lot of people are drinking heavily. This seemed to really annoy one guy named Robert Hartley. Now this was important because people in town listen to Robert, okay? Why though? I was like, why? Well, let me tell you. Well, Robert, I guess, you know, he's born in England in this town called Cockermouth.

Yeah, that's the only reason why I brought him up. I just want to mention that town. Is it still around? Do you live in Cockermouth? Let me know down below. Anyway, so he lived there. So like many other people, when he was very young, his whole family picked up and moved to New York.

Growing up, religion was really important to Robert's family and he carried that on throughout his whole life. He became very religious the older he got, to an extreme degree. He believed that if you lived a pure life, that you were basically guaranteed into heaven. When I say pure, I mean you eat clean food and you drink absolutely no alcohol whatsoever.

And he believed in this so much that in 1829, Robert founded the New York Temperance Society. Temperance just means anti-alcohol, okay? So the New York Anti-Alcohol Society, essentially. So when the whole swill milk thing happened, right? Robert was like, oh shit, you know? He knew everyone was going to turn against milk. And in his mind, he was like, now they're all going to go to alcohol and they're not going to get into heaven. ♪

So in Robert's mind, he was like, if I can take down the breweries and cut off people's access to alcohol, he could also, like, it could also have the benefit of kind of canceling out the whole swill milk situation, right? Because without the breweries and the mush, they won't have swill. They won't have the...

You know, and in his mind, it's like, well, that'll be great because then the cows can go back to eating real grass and the quality of milk could go back up. So why is this guy so obsessed with milk? You know, well, apparently he read the Bible a lot and he noticed a theme in the Bible. There was a lot of references to milk and honey. And, you know, based on that alone, he decided that, you know, the Bible's telling me apparently that milk is like the purest beverage anyone could drink.

Remember, Robert has founded this temperance society. So he's got a following. People are listening to what he has to say. And Robert tells them milk is a gift from God.

Now, obviously it was kind of hard to believe this man after he, people were like, bro, did you see all his babies die though? There's like thousands of them. So I don't know if it's the perfect food. You know, like there's some hesitation to, uh, this claim. So Robert, he's like, fine, I'll convince you bitches. He decides to write a book all about how milk was this incredible food source, especially for the poor. He published this report about what was really in people's swill milk.

It wasn't just plaster. Apparently there were also chemicals in the milk, like formaldehyde. Plus the cows themselves were actually usually very sick. So he's talking to people, he's trying to encourage people to again, drink milk, but he's encouraging people to instead buy country milk.

meaning milk that came from cows raised in the country. And this was great timing because railroads had just started to expand all over America. Suddenly, quality milk could be transported from the country to the cities before going bad. So it was like this perfect storm.

it became really easy for people to hop on the Robert Hartley train and buy milk. So to a lot of people, I mean, milk wasn't just a drink anymore. It was a way of life. It was a promise into, oh,

So a lot of people like hopped on the Robert train, you know, and started to buy milk. Robert also made milk a religious issue. Robert also told the American people that drinking milk wasn't just good or affordable, it was righteous and it made them closer to God. It was a promise of purity. And he said,

he really made an impact because in 1862, New York passed its first milk law, which made it illegal to sell impure milk. And if you were caught selling bad milk, you would be fined or even thrown in jail.

Drama. How boring though, when you think about it, milk, water, or alcohol? Which one are you choosing? The water sucks, it's no filtration. The milk is obviously, there's a problem. And alcohol. I don't like alcohol. Marry, fuck, kill. Water, milk, alcohol. I think I'm gonna marry, marry, fuck, kill. You know what? I'm a virgin.

Oh my god, that's so rude. I am pure. Look, in situations like that, like one time I went to a bar and they ran out of water and I wasn't drinking. Uh, I know, wow, look at me. Uh, I wasn't drinking and they ran out of water so I was just like, I guess I'll just suck on my spit. Like...

You know, first of all, how is this legal? Second of all, what do you mean you don't have water? Do you have like a tap I can suck out of? Like I was really thirsty. Okay. Anyways, so you can always suck on spit, but not ideal is what I'm saying. So rough times, huh? Anyway, so, okay, you can't sell bad milk, right? This law led to something called pasteurization. Now this is basically when you heat up food to like kill off the bacteria, you know? It's kind of like when you pick something off the floor and you go, okay.

it's good it's like that but with hot water so um you know science chemistry they figured out how to do it pasteurizing milk extended its shelf life you know allegedly without changing the taste

Most importantly, pasteurizing milk stopped diseases, which I think is like the most important, right? Like tuberculosis and typhoid from living in the milk and then obviously like going on to kill babies or people. Over the years with pasteurization now and it being like more safe, milk had now like earned America's trust back.

Now they were safer dairies in or near cities and milk went from being a local business to now like a full blown industry. And by 1915, so many laws and regulations were put in place to keep milk safe. Now all of this, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,

led to something called the National Dairy Council. Listen, this was essentially a group of dairy farmers and milk producers who got together to like figure out a way to market milk to America. Because at the end of the day, they're like, this is a business. This is because they never wanted another scandal to take down the dairy industry again. They needed Americans to think milk equals health. And the way to do this would be to create a loyal customer base for life.

So farmers from the National Dairy Council sprinkle a little education into their marketing. They start touring schools across America, giving speeches to children about how milk can make them big and strong.

Don't you want to be big and strong? Milk is high in calories and will help kids gain weight pretty fast if they drink like a lot of it. So they rebrand this weight gain and call it being big and strong. So then they take it up a notch. They...

Just like posters, jingles about milk, pamphlets that got sent to teachers, parents. They're putting milk propaganda everywhere. Is it fair to call it milk propaganda? I'm gonna call it that. It was everywhere. You remember in school, there was milk everywhere.

mention everywhere. I mean, you couldn't go like a single day without milk being marketed to you. They weren't like encouraging kids to drink a little milk here and there. At this time, they were suggesting that children drink four glasses of milk per day. Oh God, I'm worried actually. I'm worried that the milk people are gonna come after me. So this is when schools start putting milk into lunch programs across America. Oh yeah.

So the National Dairy Council was claiming that four glasses of milk a day will make you big and strong, period. And we all believe that to be true, right? But

It was not based on any scientific studies. This was just a genius marketing tactic to keep kids obsessed with milk. And it worked so well, the people at the National Dairy Council decided they should try to get all Americans to drink this much milk. Not just kids. Why are we just going after the kids? What about the adults? They needed to make milk cool.

Milk needed some good PR, some cool PR. If you drink milk, you're cool. How do we do that? We sell that to people, you know? So the National Dairy Council turned to the heroes of America at this time, celebrity athletes. By the end of the 1920s, celebrity athletes started promoting milk.

specifically male athletes because women can't do anything. So they went after them, you know. So they go after these male athletes and like Americans love male athletes. They are so fast, they have muscles, they're, I wanna be that. So the National Dairy Council wanted people to believe that, you know, these guys, the healthiest, the most athletic men in America, you know what they had? They had milk.

Okay, not only that, they drink the milk and that's how they got those muscles. Pretty smart, actually, when you think about it. Like, damn, that's smart. Walter Johnson, a pitcher on the Washington Senators baseball team, became the first ever athlete to promote milk. He even did like a silent film where he's showing off his hot bod and he's like, has milk and he's drinking it.

Brilliant, right? So it's working. They're like, this is good. Let's keep doing more of this. The National Dairy Council decides to partner with another American staple product, Wheaties.

The cereal? Listen, Wheaties, cereal, milk, it all makes sense. Wheaties at the time was kind of known for putting like celebrity athletes on their box. They were all about partnering with the celebrity athlete to promote the cereal. Great, fine.

Whatever, you know? Now milk was like, oh shit, you know what? We should partner with them because people need milk to have cereal. We could put the milk, a picture of milk on the cart. Like it was just kind of, it made sense. It made sense. On the Wheaties cereal box, there was always a picture of like a, you know, the cereal and like a glass of milk, right? So even if like an athlete was promoting Wheaties,

low-key they were also promoting milk. It's cereal. Yeah, you know, it made sense. Let's go with it. The Wheaties campaign was successful. Milk was flying off the shelves. Everyone wants to be big and strong like these athletes. I want to milk, you know, it was just like great. And at this point, it was said that each American was drinking about one liter per day. I don't know what a liter is because I'm American.

So I think it's a lot though. So farmers, they were now struggling to keep up with the demand. People want milk. They want milk and you know, what do we do? Yeah. Just like humans, cows have to be pregnant and give birth in order to produce milk. So farmers, they had to figure out a way to keep cows constantly pregnant so they can constantly get milk. So this is when things changed. Cows started to be artificially inseminated and then like put on a rotation.

so that when one group of cows was done producing milk, another group of cows would come in to take their place. They had shifts. So once this cow system was set up, the sky was the limit. Keep them pregnant, keep them producing milk, go, go, go. Plus we're getting more cows out of this because you're keeping them pregnant.

You know? So once this whole cow system was set up, they had everything going. I mean, baby, listen, they had milk coming out every hole, lots of dairy. So things are great. Well, not really, not for the cows, right? Sad, those poor cows. But then the Great Depression hit. Ah, not the Great Depression. Yes, the Great Depression.

Rough time. During the Great Depression, people couldn't afford to buy the same foods that they used to, even milk. So dairy is taking a hit. But the milk industry had become too important to fail. Plus, it seemed like everyone had become dependent on it. So then, in 1933, the government stepped in to help out big dairy. The government made some kind of deal with the National Dairy Council.

Yeah, weird. So the government agreed that if the price of milk ever dipped too low, they, the government, would step in to buy the extra milk. This would make sure that the dairy industry wouldn't flop. Dairy was a very important part of the economy at this point.

Yeah, it wasn't about the frickin milk. It was about money and the economy. So the government knew if they didn't make this little arrangement, it could have like a ripple effect on the economy. And then, you know, during the Great Depression, things were already bad, but then it could get even worse. This meant dairy farmers pushed out as much milk as possible because no matter what, even if they didn't sell it, you know, daddy government would swoop in and buy whatever was left over.

you know, no matter what. So having too much milk literally was not possible. It's kind of like if you have a rich dad, you know, you want to start a business. So you do and you go to your dad, you know, can I borrow money? Can I borrow money? And then you go and you waste all the money and then now you're, you're like, oh no. And you go to your dad, daddy, can I borrow money? I just like need money. And then dad, you know, dad's always there to give the money.

I don't know, I like to pretend I know. Everyone's struggling but Derry's like, "Eh, we're good." But then there's a crisis that even the government didn't see coming. Hi, I'm in a hotel room. Someone's vacuuming next door. So I don't know who needs to hear this, but no, you're not imagining it. That little clump in the shower drain is bigger than it used to be. I'm referring to your hair, you know? When you rinse your hair and you're like, "Am I okay?"

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So during the Great Depression, the government agrees that if milk ever has some kind of emergency and needs to be bailed out,

They'll be there. The government's like, "We got you, Derry." I really want to do some more digging and understand what was in it for the government, right? Like what was really financially, what was the main reason they got behind Derry? So then it's 1973. America gets caught up in a situation that has to do with gas.

No, not fighting. I'm talking about gasoline. You know, the TLDR, there was some conflict between America and other countries in the Middle East, which led to a gas shortage, which then led to gas prices going up like quadruple the price. Okay. This affected everybody. And especially at dairy farms, because they needed gasoline to run their tractors, uh, ship their cheese, uh, ship the milk, whatever.

So they relied a lot on gas, right? And so when this happened, they had to raise their prices on dairy. And, you know, at this time, if Americans had to choose between cheese or gas for their car so they could go to work, where are they going to choose?

I'm sorry to those of you who said cheese. I know some of you at home said cheese. They needed gas. So Big Derry has taken a hit. They're like, uh-oh, Mayday. So Big Derry makes an emergency phone call to the White House. Put me through to the president. It's Big Derry. Big Derry calls up the president, Jimmy Carter. We need help. We don't know what happened on that phone call. But what we do know is that after the phone call,

Jimmy Carter, the president, ended up buying up all of the dairy products that Americans couldn't afford. So they buy up all the dairy and they, the president, America, ends up spending about $2 billion in order to

essentially save the dairy industry. So of course, Rich Daddy is there to save the day. Can I borrow $2 billion? Please? I'll pay you back. So the government buys up all this dairy and that's great. Yay, dairy is saved. Yay. But now the government had a new problem. They had a ton of

of milk and they spent a bunch of money on it. So they're like, now what do we do? So the decision was made to turn all this milk into cheese, you know, to extend its shelf life. But now the US government has over 500 million pounds of cheese.

I know, you think they'd just be handing it out. Have you guys heard the term government cheese? If you don't know, government cheese, it's like this big block of cheese the US government distributes to families or people in need through government food programs. What about, have you heard of government butter? I know some of you have. There was a rumor going around in middle school, if you rubbed government butter on your thighs, your butt, and your boobs, it would make

It'll grow. Anyone else? Was that you too? Anyone else? I hope one person out there knows what I'm talking about. Anyways, government cheese, it's made out of all that stockpiled cheese that the government bought in 1973. So, Ronald Reagan. I have a lot to say. The first thing I'm going to say is, I want to do a dark history episode on Ronald Reagan, so I know, I know, sorry. But did you know Nancy Reagan had the nickname Throat Goat? Ha ha ha.

Apparently, let me know if you want a dark history story. I'd love to do it. I know too much. So when Ronald Reagan became president in 1981, he started to publicly distribute cheese, the government cheese. I mean, he was like, we have so much cheese. We need to get rid of it. So cheese was being pushed onto people through like food stamp programs, the elderly, school cafeterias, prisons. I mean, anywhere they could think of

Have our cheese. Have our cheese. We have too much cheese. It was used in military kitchens and given out in like these big blocks to food banks and churches. Now you might be asking yourself, where are they storing all this cheese? You know, doesn't it need to be refrigerated? Where are they putting the cheese? They got a lot of it. Where is it hidden? I have to give the government credit for their creativity because they decided to put all of that cheese in caves.

Literal underground cheese caves. What? Yes. It sounds fake, right? It sounds like a weird conspiracy theory your uncle would bring up at Thanksgiving or something. Have you guys heard about the underground cheese caves? Shut up. What are you talking about? But it's real. So now you're going to be the crazy uncle at Thanksgiving dinner. Thank you. You're welcome. Pull this one out. Your next dinner party. Have you guys heard about the underground cheese caves?

So these cheese caves are located hundreds of feet underground in Missouri. And it's not like the cheese is just like dumped inside a bunch of random rocky caves. At one point, these caves were actually limestone mines. So the government then converted them into like a 3.2 million square foot warehouse. It's so big that it can fit like 1.8 million people inside these caves or like

1,280 Taco Bell restaurants. What I'm getting at is it's big. And why did the government pick these like old limestone mines?

climate control. These caves are naturally kept at a cool 36 degrees year round. And guess what? These cheese caves are funded by the government, right? So who funds these big cheese caves? The taxpayers. We're paying for cheese caves. And with that in mind, we should demand free tours. I'm funding your cheese cave. Let me see what's inside. If you have a cheese cave hookup, let me know.

Even though this cheese was literally being handed out for free, the government, they just had so much of it, they couldn't get rid of it. They were like, please take our cheese. Please. The Clinton administration created Dairy Management Incorporated, or DMI. So, weird. It's like a weird move. Why? I guess the whole point of DMI was to get Americans to consume more dairy, you know, because they got a lot of it. So they need people to hurry and eat it.

Eat the fucking dairy. It was created for quote, dairy product promotion, research, and nutrition education as part of a comprehensive strategy to increase human consumption of milk and dairy. Wow. This is like the National Dairy Council 2.0, except this time they have billions of pounds of cheese to get rid of.

I've always got something going on, I swear. Right now I have like this little rash going on in my leg, I don't know. But instead of going to the doctor like a normal person, this is America, you don't just go to the doctor. I spent three days Googling and convinced myself that I now will have to amputate my leg. It's probably, this is it, you know, it's over, goodbye. All because I didn't feel like finding a new doctor. Where do you even start?

My insurance card, where is she? I don't know. And I was going to do what I normally do, which is just ignore it. And usually it goes away. But then I remembered...

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DMI is funded by the government and they have like a budget of $140 million a year, just strictly for, you know, promotion of dairy. And you know what? We're all very familiar with DMI's work, the Got Milk campaign.

That was them. So they were telling the public that milk was part of a healthy diet, that it was rich in calcium and that it would build strong bones, kind of going back to the classic, right? The classic tales. So they're making all these claims, right? So then in the late 90s, Harvard actually did a study on the factual health effects of milk. Finally, someone is coming through with a study. Now, their study from Harvard

they found that drinking milk didn't actually help prevent osteoporosis. This is a disease that can make your bones brittle, make you weak, and allegedly milk was claiming that it could help cure this. Turns out it didn't. In fact, the study found some downsides of drinking milk.

like a higher risk of prostate cancer, Parkinson's disease, acne, and even iron deficiency. Which is so weird because I always thought milk was good for someone who had an iron deficiency. The Department of Health and Human Services wanted to fact check Harvard, okay? So they did their own study. They do their study...

Turns out, according to them, it was true. Milk or dairy was actually not very healthy to consume on a regular basis. Oopsie.

Don't tell anyone, you know? On top of that, in their study, they found out that 36% of Americans were lactose intolerant. So they're like, oh shit, whoops. Yeah, which means their body literally cannot handle dairy and it's actually bad for them to consume it. But like I said, the government was backing big dairy. So yeah, these studies came out, but like, did you ever hear about it? No, right? Did you hear about it? No, I always heard about cheese, dairy was good.

right so they squashed that they're like shut up at the end of the day the government still had a shit ton of cheese to get rid of so they're like you better shut up until we get rid of this cheese and then you can talk with your studies which brings us to fast food have you ever wondered why there's so much cheese in fast food no you haven't well pay attention because when you go to fast food there's cheese on everything they cheese everything right the other day a

The other day, you know what I did? I treated myself. It was about 12:30 a.m. Yeah, I might have smoked a little bit of the devil's lettuce. Okay, I was feeling a little hungry. You know what I did? I went on Postmates, so sorry, DoorDash. I like DoorDash, whatever, doesn't matter. I went on there and I ordered Jack in the Box. Oh, I'm getting wet. Because have you had their tacos? Jack in the Box Monster Tacos are the best.

Shit, not sponsored. I'm so sorry. I'm promoting terrible food, but I love their sponsored tacos. Anyways, they came out with these little mini versions of the tacos with cheese all over it. And baby, listen, it was like 1 a.m. and I was like, while watching Swan Lake or Swan Princess. I was watching Swan Princess. Do you remember that movie? Well, we can talk. We can discuss later. Great movie. Cartoon? Loved it. So...

Have you ever wondered why there's so much cheese in fast food? Well, I have three words for you. Dairy Management, Inc.

Yeah, it's all government cheese, baby. So Taco Bell specifically, they got hit first with the government cheese. The Taco Bell cheesy crust, the double steak quesadilla, the seven layer burrito, the soft potato tacos. All of these items were specifically added to Taco Bell's menu because they partnered with DMI and were given tons of government cheese. Yeah, I was like, what?

I guess that makes sense. And I know what you're thinking. Why would Taco Bell like do the government a favor? Well, it's free cheese. These super cheesy menu items actually boosted Taco Bell's sales. Plus they helped dairy farmers and the government at the same time. It was a win-win. And Taco Bell wasn't alone. So DMI, you know, they went out to all the hits, okay? They went to Wendy's. They went to Burger King. They went to Pizza Hut.

They're like, "Hey, we got some cheese for you. You wanna use it? We got cheese." Around 2009, another American favorite was added to the list, Domino's. Domino's in 2009 was in a really bad spot financially, and they were just like not doing well. So guess who came knocking on the door?

We're government cheese. And we're here to save your ass. Okay, so according to the New York Times in 2010, Domino's got a much needed rebrand. There was huge marketing campaign. Domino's was everywhere. Like it was all over the place. And it was all created and funded by DMI, the government.

The government paid literally $12 million for Domino's to rebrand and use their cheese. I know.

Make it make sense. There's a missing piece here, huh? Well, part of this rebrand included reformulating Domino's pizza, like their recipe, to contain 40% more cheese, you know? And then Domino's launched an advertising campaign that was kind of crazy. They threw themselves under the bus. They acknowledged just how bad their old pizzas were and promised customers they were going to do better. They promised them new pizzas with, quote, cheese, cheese, cheese.

in the new recipe. So according to the New York Times, this worked out really well for DMI. Uh,

you know, because them pushing dairy through fast food ended up boosting cheese sales by nearly 30 million pounds. So government cheese is everywhere at this point. It's at school, it's in your fast food, it's everywhere, you know? But as good as the pizza bailout was for Domino's, you know, it was actually really bad for us. Apparently just one slice of their new pizza contains two thirds of a day's maximum recommended amount of saturated fat.

and saturated fat is directly linked to heart disease. Dr. Walter C. Willett, chairman of the nutrition department at the Harvard School of Public Health said, quote, "A small amount of cheese can be compatible with a healthy diet, but consumption in the US is enormous and way beyond what is optimally healthy." Before the cheese lovers come for me,

Talking specifically about this cheese that the government is giving us. You see, this cheese is old and it needs a lot of preservatives in order to not go bad. These preservatives contain a high amount of sodium. Plus there are a ton of additives, chemicals, in government cheese that just aren't in natural cheese. It was actually discovered that something called forever chemicals were present in DMI's government cheese.

This is a callback all the way to our very first Dark History episode with DuPont. Remember? Tell me you saw that episode. That was such a good episode. DuPont had this whole scandal with Forever Chemicals and they're in your body right now. I'm sorry. You have Forever Chemicals in you.

But the cheese from the government has forever chemicals in them. Look, these chemicals are not great for us. They've been linked to a ton of health concerns, cancer, you name it, it's linked to this. So let me get all like,

Nerdy. Part of this is because something called bovine growth hormone, or BGH, is used in a lot of American dairies. Basically, farmers use this stuff to help cows produce more milk than they would naturally. They're treated with it, so it must be like a shot or something.

The problem is cows treated with BGH are more likely to have health problems like utter infections, reproductive issues, and just shorter lifespans in general. If a cow does get an infection, they have to be put on antibiotics, which ends up in your milk.

So for humans, BGH increases the risk of cancer. Some scientists are also nervous that if humans keep drinking milk from cows that are on antibiotics, it will gradually make us more resistant to the antibiotics that we take when we get sick. They say that about chickens too.

I think, did we mention that in our Tyson episode? Jesus Bailey. Just coming in with all the dark history greats. Yeah, they say this about chickens too, because they give chickens antibiotics and we eat it and then, you know, it's just like, it's a problem.

The worry is that this will eventually create superbugs, in other words, like bacteria that just cannot be killed by antibiotics. Now, despite all this, there are currently no federal guidelines controlling how many of these chemicals end up in our food. BGH is FDA approved.

eye roll and legal in America. But you know where it's not legal? Basically everywhere else. Okay. BGH has been banned in Europe, Canada, Japan, Pakistan, Australia, New Zealand, or

Argentina, I probably could list more but I forget, because of animal welfare and public health concerns. But here in the US, we don't give a damn. And they're like, "It's legal! Keep 'em sick!" Nowadays, many dairy producers have decided to try and avoid it, and they'll label their products as RBGH or RBST-free. Like, we know what the fuck that means, you know? And how do we know it's actually free?

It's like when they put on the packaging like cage-free chickens and all that. It's like, how do we really know? How do we know? Why should we believe anyone at this point? So why do we even need these hormones to pump out more milk when we still have 1.5 billion pounds of cheese in those caves? I mean, aren't we kind of good, you know?

No? All right. It seems like big dairy has literally gotten too big to fail. The biggest consumers of it are other big corporations, schools, hospitals, prisons. According to our expert, if milk were to vanish, our economy would be screwed.

And, you know, since it's linked to fast food, it's not going anywhere anytime soon because that means all the fast food would go with it. Like we're so dependent on all this crap, right? Today, Americans eat an average of 33 pounds of cheese a year, which is triple what we were eating in 1970. I mean, it makes sense. They put cheese on everything, you know, everything. Everything has cheese on it, right? It's all, it's all we know. So what do we do from here? Well, they say knowledge is power.

So if we're equipped with the knowledge knowing that, okay, cheese, bad. I don't know. I really leave it up to you. It's your decision, right? Eat the cheese. I love cheese. I think it's more so like limit the cheese intake, the cheese and dairy intake, you know?

I'm not sure. Okay, well, let me know what you guys think down below. Have you ever been to the Cheese Caves? Romantic little Cheese Cave getaway? I would love to hear about it, let me know. Next episode, we're going to talk about an American institution. This company was created by a man who just wanted to do right by the everyday person in the Midwest.

Little did he know he was going to change the world. Some people say it's the greatest company ever created and that it helps people get by in this economy. Others say it's the definition of an evil corporation made up of billionaires who profit off the backs of their underpaid, overworked employees. You know them well. They sell everything you need from guns to glitter. Join us next week when we talk about the dark history of Walmart.

Now, I'd love to hear your guys' reactions to today's story. Please be nice. I tried. Make sure to leave a comment below so I can see what you guys are saying. And your comment might even be featured in a future episode. Now, let's read a couple of comments. Yay, my favorite part. You look so cute. Little farmer.

Judy Cianci 3944 left us a comment. "I'm hoping Paul would never do anything like LBJ did." End quote. Judy, thank you for listening and/or watching our weird presidents episode. I think it's bizarre that more people don't talk about how Weiner obsessed LBJ was, but then again, does it really matter?

Ah, I think he's dead, right? Yeah. Anywho, Paul would never. Paul's dead. Well, actually, him and LBJ have that in common. So maybe he would not. No, he doesn't have a wiener. He's not wiener obsessed. He likes bones. Thank you for watching our episode and Paul would never.

Kiana Moore 5390 left me a comment on our Typhoid Mary episode saying, "Ooh, I love a timestamp call out. That's my favorite. I love that. You are loyal." 203, "I don't know why, but doctors always make jokes when you literally feel like you're on your last breath. Thought you were dying, but you're not." Kiana, yes.

Well, I see both sides. If I were a doctor, you know me, I laugh when things are, when I'm uncomfortable. I feel like if I were a doctor and someone were kind of dying, I'd be like,

Like try and make a joke in some way. I don't blame him, but at the same time it was like, really? But honestly, again, I'm not mad at him because it led to an episode, a really interesting episode. I mean, yes, I like that my doctor has a sense of humor, but you know, maybe wait until after I'm not dying, then drop the joke. But what do I know? Alice Orozco7273 left us an episode suggestion. Hi, Bailey.

Hi. I had a suggestion. I wondered the history of stripper clubs or clubs in general. Alice. Alice, come here, have a seat.

I'm two steps ahead, baby, listen. Or maybe we're on the same wave, brain wave. My brain's not working right now. But maybe we're on the same like, wah. Because guess what? I'm actually working on an episode about this. Oh yes I am, girl. Oh yes I am. Stay tuned, it's coming out in a few weeks, okay? I got you, Alice. It'll be for you, Alice. No one else. Anywho, woo! What a day. Derry bad. Thank you guys so much for watching, hanging out with me, and

leaving comments. I appreciate you. Maybe your comment will be featured in a future episode. So leave me something, a timestamp. I love a timestamp. Did you know you can join me over on my YouTube where you can watch these episodes? Oh yeah, it's on Thursday after the podcast airs. Maybe you're a visual person. And while you're there, you can also catch my murder mystery and makeup. And hey, if you don't know, Dark History is an Audioboom original. A special thank you to our expert, Emily Barron-Kadloff.

journalist and senior editor at Modern Farmer. And if you forgot, I'm your host, Bailey Sarian. I hope you have a good day. You make good choices. And I'll be talking to you guys real soon. Goodbye.