Shownotes Transcript
Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile. I don't know if you knew this, but anyone can get the same premium wireless for $15 a month plan that I've been enjoying. It's not just for celebrities. So do like I did and have one of your assistants assistants switch you to Mint Mobile today.
I'm told it's super easy to do at mintmobile.com slash switch. Upfront payment of $45 for three-month plan, equivalent to $15 per month required. Intro rate first three months only, then full price plan options available. Taxes and fees extra. See full terms at mintmobile.com. So we're supposed to start the podcast. Ready? One, two, three. Patriots, gay-triots, black-triots, non-maga-triots. Pumps us back. Ugh.
She's back. She's better never. I'm sure you have some grievances you're ready to share with our listener. Okay, I'll tell you what my grievance is. I have had it with small talk. There is nothing more miserable than having to make small talk with people that you don't know, that don't care about what you're saying. You don't care what you're saying. It is so painful.
I'm miserable. Like when I walk into a place, walked into a place Friday night for parents weekend, and there were like 60 people. And I just was like, I can't do it. I think I stayed for five minutes, talked to three people that I knew and left because I just I'm like, small talk just makes me insane. I just want to go insane when I think I have to small talk. I have a question for you. What?
Why do you engage in it so frequently when we're together with strangers? Well... Is it to torture me? It's to torture you. No, I mean, that would make more sense. That would be a side benefit to torture you. I don't realize I'm doing it. It overwhelms me when I go into a room and there's like...
50 people that I'm kind of supposed to know that our kids are doing the same thing, but I don't know. And I just, I start panicking. I'm just like, I don't want to do this. I, um, I, I hear you and I, I, uh, I, I completely concur and I have the exact same grievance. However, when I'm going to a place with you and we enter a place and
I know that the weak link and the one that's going to fall prey and most susceptible to small talk will be you. 100%. I mean, the other day we were just in the parking lot in front of the studio and a girl walks up. And next thing I know, we're 25 questions deep into her child support hearings. Yeah. Part of my problem is I'm nosy.
Yeah. I mean, that's part of it. But I have to tell you this story. Okay. You're going to die. Okay. So we go to dinner with all the parents from Emily's friends. And halfway through the dinner, Emily grabs me by the leg and she looks at me and she goes, everyone at this table is on suicide watch because you will not quit talking about the dog.
And I realized all I was doing was talking about my French bulldog. And even after she told me, I knew she was right. I knew everybody was on suicide watch. I knew they all wanted me to shut the fuck up. I couldn't. I just kept talking about how cute he was. I was passing my phone around. But yeah, I mean, halfway through the dinner, she's like, stop. And I couldn't stop. I recently did something like this. And I realized like mid story. What?
What a grave error I had made. So I pulled up to the tennis center and the head pro was like, hey, I like your car. He's a British guy. And I proceeded to tell him...
The car I had before that, I was in a massive hailstorm that pummeled it, broke the windshield, had all this body damage. Another basketball mom I was with threw up in the car and I no longer wanted the car. And as I'm into all of these details, like all I had to say when he said, I like your car is thanks. Thank you. How are you today? But I volunteered all of this boring stuff.
irrelevant information. And it was only halfway through that I realized I'm not taking into account his feelings to hear this. So I wrapped it up pretty quickly. And, you know, it's just awful. I have a new story to tell you. So yesterday I was at my tennis lesson and I was playing awful. I mean, awful. I was just mental. I couldn't hit the ball. My timing was off. Everything was off.
And I could just tell Jeff had had it with me. I mean, I'm bitching after every point. He's just crushing me. And so he finally is just disgusted. He cannot take it anymore. And he walks up to the net and he goes, maybe if you're not going to hit any balls with any pace on him, maybe you should try to hit them away from me instead of just hitting me softballs the whole hour, Jennifer. Right.
And just shamed you. Just totally. And you know what? He was 100% right. It was like the pep talk that I needed. And it reminded me that there is this movement that we oppose, this toxic positivity movement where people want to be praised all the time.
And if Jeff had just continued to tell me, good shot, good shot, how does that help me? How does that help anyone? It just feeds this ridiculous, non-deserved ego that I have about being an athlete, right? It just would feed the worst parts of me. Instead, he chewed my ass out and I went back and actually started playing a lot better. And I thought, you know, sometimes somebody checking you and just saying, oh,
If this is what you're going to do, fine. But, you know, I'm paying him. And he's like, is this really what we're going to do here today, Jennifer? He chewed my ass out. And it was so great. Yeah, I do think that's one thing that people younger than us, I'm going to say millennials, Gen Z, they're missing the component of when you get your ass chewed and you're criticized, you're
Typically, you do better. Yes. You try harder. Yes. So all this toxic, you're the best. You're so special. You're so unique. Your mommy loves you. Let's get five pictures. That doesn't help them evolve. Right. But the whole story of life is you get not down. You get up again. Yeah. Never handle it.
And I'm just going to tell you, like my after that, the timing, the rhythm, the forehands, Rip City, baby. I mean, got better. And then I played. Then we played to 10 at the very end. And I beat Jeff 10-8. I lost every single game before that, every single one. And it was after the ass chewing that I showed up and I started playing proper tennis. All right. Let me tell you what I've had it with.
I've had it with, there's a lot of things I've had it with Trump, but this is just something sometimes I want to talk about something that we can all just talk about that's not so deep and not so emotionally damaging to hear about and have the perfect grievance regarding him.
His desecration, interior desecration of the Oval Office. This motherfucker thinks he's Marie Antoinette and the Oval is Versailles. It is a shame to that era in French design and architecture.
It is embarrassing to the Oval Office. It looks like a nouveau riche, white trash, riffraff, knickknack flea market. It is so embarrassing. And every time he's in there, he's popped up more gold. Yeah. And I just think it looks horrible. I think it is some of the worst design I have ever seen. I hate it.
Well, here's the thing. When I heard Trump had a gold toilet, this was years and years and years ago before he was in politics. I thought, this motherfucker's insecure. Like, nobody has a gold toilet. And then you see all the pictures from, like, his apartment and Trump Tower and Mar-a-Lago, and you think...
This is like 1980s, looks like shit. Like you said, trying to be French chic, but it just looks cheap. When we saw the bathroom where he kept all the nuclear secrets, it just looked cheap. I mean, I look at what he's done in the Oval Office and I think, here's the problem. Like when you and I met, the first thing you said to me was, you have terrible taste. And that allowed me to
To give seed all control. And you picked it out and I loved it. Right. Donald Trump is a victim of somebody saying, oh my God, all this gold looks so good. You have great taste. Instead of somebody checking him and making him better, or perhaps saying, let's hire somebody that does this and you get hands off. It looks exactly like I expect the inside of his brain to look. Just a bunch of trashy knickknacks.
that have absolutely no charm. It's just, it's so gross. Let's take it a level deeper. I think at the core of MAGA is masculine insecurity. 100%. And Trump tries to project...
What he is insecure about all the time. He tries to project that he's so mainly yet he oh my god People write bad articles about me. Yeah, motherfucker. You're the president United States. Welcome to the big stage, right? You know, why are you being such a pussy about it? He inherited 500 million dollars squandered it has been a horrible businessman absolutely horrible, but yet he tries to project that
this Marie Antoinette nouveau riche, you know, translated over to the Americas, which is just a disgrace. And I think he and all of the people surrounding him are either have massive problems with masculine insecurity or the women that surround them are kind of like battered wives. You
the very principles that enabled them to be women that hold that level of job like Kristi Noem, Tulsi Gabbard, etc. So I just think these are like the worst impulses of America that we've ever bred. All the worship of capitalism, the worship of the patriarchy, the worship of white supremacy.
And we broke it down so hard. We got the people who were damaged the most by the worship of all of these things. They got elected. Right. They're in power. That's what happened. Yeah. That is what happened. And when the autopsy is on this, the...
acquiescence that happened from, you know, after from Trump 1.0 and the four years in the middle before we get to Trump 2.0, all of the lack of movement to prevent this from happening within America. But also now, you know, our allies are, um,
Like, oh shit, we can't align with America anymore. I hope the world lesson is when somebody elects a dictator that attempts a coup and the country hasn't put him in jail yet, then you've got to start treating that country and their populace as somebody you might not want to do business with. And maybe that would have helped the Biden administration and the Democrats take it more seriously if the EU and Canada and others would have said, WTF, what are y'all doing here? Right.
I completely agree. I'm not saying it's their fault per se. I think it is a worldwide problem where everybody just leans into the assumption politics and we assume, well, people aren't going to be that crazy to elect him again. That's not going to happen. Right. People right now are assuming politics.
Well, we're going to get to the midterms. And whenever we play assumption politics, we get our asses handed to us because guess what they're doing right now? There's a bunch of crackheads like Steve Bannon and all these other just nut jobs that are over there machinating about how can we get him a third term. And we're sitting here going, oh, that'll never happen. Right. They're actually sitting there figuring out how to do it. And that's the problem is this assumption politics, this assumption that everybody's going to do the right thing. When you assume it makes an ass out of me and you.
I just want to say this one thing. When you look at Donald Trump, I mean, head to toe, just aesthetically, you've got the worst hair I've ever seen. The worst makeup. Like, I still don't understand why he does not have a professional makeup artist do his makeup. It is so terrible. His suits are too big. He has shoulder pads. His ties go past his dick. His hand- Shoe lifts. Shoe lifts. He leans over like the-
He is a disaster aesthetically, top to bottom. So it surprises me zero. Oh, here's another. His golf swing is terrible. And when he wears his golf pants, they're up like under his boobs. Oh, I'm dorky McDorky. Like Humpty Dumpty. Totally. I'm the biggest dork. And then you have all these insecure men. Yeah. He is their idealized form of masculinity. Yeah.
Think about that. I mean, the psychological autopsy on this whole thing, if we survive it, is fascinating. It's just fascinating how broken...
MAGA loyalists are, what broken, immoral, disgusting, cruel, nasty people they are, that they like triple trumped it with him. Yeah. And there's so many of them. That's the terrifying thing. Welcome to I've Had It. Very uplifting intro. I'm Jennifer. We're just so fun. I'm Angie. The HBIC had Beaver in charge. We've adopted the beaver. Yeah.
Because the beaver, don't fuck with the beaver. Don't fuck with the beaver. And it's Canada's animal. Right. The mascot. And we love Canada. We do love Canada. Kylie. Hello. How are you? I'm good. I feel like I need a new nickname. I do too. I need a new one. Jessica's gone. I think you need a new one. Yeah. Pumps gets all the good ones. She gets all, the evolution of nicknames always favors you. Favors the dipshit. Because you're the favorite. Yeah.
Because you're the favorite. We used to make fun of it. And we rebrand you all the time to keep you exciting for the listener. Because I'm old. The listener loves a Pumps rebrand. Yeah, I do. I mean, Meat Curtain, America's Legal Eagle. I did love Princess Diana because I loved Princess Diana. Oh, Princess Diana was a great one. But I just, I sincerely want to stick with the Beaver. Instead of Angie Pumps Sullivan, I want it to be Angie Beaver Sullivan. Angie B. Sullivan, attorney at law. ABS. ABS.
America's Beaver Sullivan. I like it. I've got some reviews. Okay. This one is titled five stars, but it's only four stars. Okay.
That's good stuff. And Savannah writes, I found this podcast to be an indispensable tool in my social vetting process. It's a friendship litmus test of unparalleled efficacy. To weed out incompatibility in new friendships, I simply suggest a listen. Any reaction deviating from a resounding I love it or it's hilarious results in immediate and decisive social excommunication. Rightfully so. Yeah.
I'll tell you what, that's something I never anticipated happening, but I totally support. I do too. And I love even that she lured us in with five stars, but it was really only four. Yeah. Do you think that was a typo or do you think that's just a fuck with the old ladies that host the podcast? My guess is it was an accident. We're nothing less than a five-star podcast, so. Well, I mean, obviously. I mean, we're America's top DEI podcast. Right. I mean, you don't get
to the top of the DEI podcast world with four stars. This is hot shit hotel over here at the I've Had It podcast studios. I mean, no question about it. All right, who's next? Okay, this one is actually five stars titled I've Done It with I've Had It. And they write, nine months ago, I would have never thought that the dawning of an angelic beaver, a pickleball grand slam champion and a DEI higher lesbian with a sense of humor almost as dry as the beaver's meat curtains. Ha!
would be my life coaches to lead me to achieve new hashtag goals, such as listening to a podcast from the beginning to the present day and pre-ordering a book, both first for me.
Thank you, Meemaw, Jessica, and Kiki for bringing joy to my work days and helping me reevaluate my complicated relationship with the deep south. How is change supposed to happen if the ones capable of making change want to run away? Caw, caw, munch, munch. Oh, munch, munch. Is that some sort of lesbian jargon? No, I think it's beaver. Kind of go hand in hand either way. Right? Beaver muncher? Isn't that...
And Kiki, I like that for you. Yeah. Kiki's good. Kiki's good. There's a whole Drake song. Kiki, do you love me? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you have a song. Even though I'm team Kendrick Lamar. I was going to say, you're the biggest Kendrick Lamar fan I've ever known. I'm team Kendrick Lamar. I mean, there's just no question about it. I mean, him wearing those little Celine britches, looking straight in the camera, telling Drake to go fuck himself is just some of the best. That's so cool.
That's what I needed in that exact moment. I wish I'd make another diss track. Didn't you run to your closet and you actually found a pair of those Celine jeans? I own a pair. Yeah, I own a pair of those jeans. Yeah, I saw something come across Instagram that's like, you know, after the Super Bowl, all the women went and searched their closet for the Celine pants. And I was like, I know who found them. Yeah, I knew I had them right when I saw him. You immediately identified them. There was a recent purchase online.
But anyway, yeah, I think Kiki, I'm liking Kiki, Kiki the Magic Lesbian. I like it. Kiki the Magic Lesbian. Yeah, I like that. I like the soundtrack to it. Kiki the Magic Lesbian is a really good, I like that review about us restoring our
faith of people in the South. And here's what I have to say that everybody needs to realize is even though our state is probably like 60, 65% MAGA, that 35%, when you are a liberal,
in a red state, you really fight for it. Like you've earned it. Like I feel like liberals in red states have more fight in us than coastal liberals that take advantage, take for granted the state governments that protect them. And I'll give you a prime example.
Pumps and I had on Governor Kathy Hochul of New York. And I just thought, man, this woman is a dynamo. I still think she's a dynamo. I think she's fantastic. We just really connected with her and bonded with her. And then we're up in New York to do some business for the podcast. And some of our friends that are New Yorkers like, God, we had your governor on. She's fantastic. And they were like,
Ugh. Yeah. Like, ugh. We hate her. And I'm like, let me tell you what's going on with my governor. Right. Let me tell you what's going on. Abortion ban dedicates every square inch to Jesus and thinks that says a statement like this.
government needs to be run like a business and doesn't understand how intellectually dishonest and stupid that statement is. We're dealing with dipshit extraordinaire out the wazoo and you have the luxury of disagreeing with your governor about policy. Right. That's the difference. And so, you know, it's it's you got to give a lot of props to people in red states that go against the grain because we have to fucking fight for it because it's everywhere. It's a MAGA shit.
is everywhere. Like you can feel it. Like I don't see in Oklahoma city, I don't see over maganess, but you can feel it. Yeah. You feel it. Like we recently went to Los Angeles, my husband and my youngest son and I to tour a school. And the minute I got out in LAX, I could just feel that it wasn't as MAGA. It's just like in the air, it was just lighter. It's like, there's just not as much MAGA air here. Dare I say, even it feels a little bit smarter. Yeah.
Yeah, and just, and it's, there's more diversity. It's not so white. That's one thing people don't understand about living in a state like Oklahoma. Everyone, I mean, there's no foreign languages. Like you go on the streets of New York and you hear 50 languages in two blocks. Everybody speaks English, more white people. I mean, you can't throw a stone and not find a white. It's just, it's awful. Some might say homes.com is the best home shopping site. Could it be because it has a sleek spam-free site or
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It's the home search you've been searching for. Go to homes.com today for home shopping the way it should be. Homes.com. We've done your homework. Spring is in the air, but you know what should not be in the air is that stinky, horrible, awful smell of a litter box.
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Okay, I have some news stories I would like to share. The first one is the smell of donuts can increase blood flow to the genitals and stimulate an erect phallus. So considering the head beaver in charge, you guys, she named a group chat in our Patreon, the hard rock cock chat. No, rock hard cock chat. Rock hard cock chat. I would think that...
This could be a tool in your toolbox to use around men. Have a box of donuts.
Do I put them in my pants? Is that the deal? Do I run around with a donut hole between my legs? I wasn't thinking about that, but apparently you are. Apparently the woman who thinks about cock all the time is talking about cramming donuts up a vagine. Well, I stopped and got donuts last weekend and I didn't... Did you get a hard-on? I didn't. You didn't get a hard-on? I didn't feel any blood flow to the vagine or anything. I think that's because this is a response related to sexual arousal in men. Well...
My dick's bigger than a lot of these maga men. I'll just say that. I don't think there's any question about that. I also think it's a rather interesting thing that we could do a story arc on that you'd like to stick a donut up your vagine. Moving along. Dolphins have bromances in which two males pair up for as long as 15 years and help each other hook up with females.
These paired males work together as wingmen to pursue guard and court females during mating season, greatly increasing their chances of reproductive success. These partnerships are built on complex social intelligence, communication, and trust, showing that dolphins not only form emotional bonds, but also engage in sophisticated social strategies similar to human relationships. I like it. Dolphins are wingmen. Wingmen. Yeah.
I think that's really sweet. Yeah, I do too. And that they stay friends for 15 years. I think that's all good. Yeah. And they help each other find their mate. They help each other. You know, that's missing in a lot of men is a lot of men don't have any friends. That's why they're isolated. You know what I mean? Like you go around and it's no wonder all these men are so lonely. They don't have any friends. Here's just something I'm going to say that I know that I'm not feeling this alone in a vacuum.
As a woman who was born into a patriarchal system,
And everything has always been male-centered, corporations, families. Typically, the principals at schools where I went were male. And then, you know, as a Gen Xer, then go to college, start your career. And then you really start seeing some changes in, you know, civil rights movements like gays or, you know, gay marriage nationwide. And people are starting to talk about us renegotiating.
reconciling our horrible racist past and then all of a sudden like the last year or two it pops up white men are struggling right and i'm like
We have to deal with this shit again. I've been dealing with this shit my whole goddamn life. Why do you always have to be the fucking focus of everything? Like, that's an inherent difference maybe. I mean, at least from the women that I know. Like, this... I don't need to be emotionally, like, greedy all the time. Like, oh, my God, now I'm hurting. Like, women are advancing and getting jobs. I mean, just...
And I know that it's an issue and I know we have to deal with it. But as a woman, I'm just like, can you guys just fucking quit being stage hogs all the time? I mean, it just drives me bananas. Well, it just goes to, in my opinion, it goes to these men are used to always getting the best picks, the best jobs without being the best candidate or the most qualified.
And now there is some competition there. And instead of looking inward... And they're having a meltdown. Right. Instead of saying, you know, what can I do better? How can I be a better leader, a better student, a better mate? They're saying, well, it's women's fault. It's DEI's fault. It's just somebody else's fault. It's just, it's this meltdown. And that's why I think the insecure masculinity is at the core of the MAGA movement. Like...
It really shouldn't be a thing. Like if somebody's boss is a female and she's very, very excellent at her job, if you're having a masculine emotional meltdown because of that, the problem is you. And it just, and now we have to do all this time and research propping up men again. And it's just, it's just exhausting. That's all I'm saying. It's just utterly exhausting. This desire to,
to always be the center of attention that men have from my perspective. Okay, last story. Sperm cells carry traces of childhood stress.
epigenetic study finds the groundbreaking finding supports the idea that trauma and adversity experienced in childhood can leave lasting biological imprints that extend beyond the individual. While the long-term impact on offspring is still being studied, the research suggests that a father's early life experiences may influence the health and development of future children. I think this makes perfect sense. I was going to say, yeah. And I think that
It worries me like for my kids because my husband's childhood was just, you know, so traumatic for him and raised by addicts. He himself was an addict, struggled so hard to find, you know, sobriety. And it makes sense that some of this would this trauma would also be somewhat traumatic.
you know, genetic or pass-through genes as well because even if you look at twin studies, you know, you'll have a couple, that upper middle class couple that adopts a child and the child really functioning family, you know, for whatever that means, goes to school, etc. Parents are great.
And the child ends up in jail. And then they've gone back and studied what the biological parents were. And they were both in jail themselves. So there was like some sort of genetic component to that criminality or that lean towards that. And I think this is interesting in understanding what makes people broken. Yeah, no, I completely agree. And it just would make sense if you're under a bunch of stress, emotional, mental stress, it affects you physically. So it makes sense it would.
affect it biologically. Okay, Kylie, Kiki. Yes. Kiki the magic lesbian. Yeah. Do you guys want to hear some voice memos today? Yes. Okay, we're going to kick it off with Frances. Hi.
Hi, ladies. My name is Francis. I live in Connecticut. Just want to say thank you so much for your amazing podcast. You guys are fighting the good fight. I adore you. My hat is people that say I'm a hugger when you meet them for the first time. That shit makes me crazy. I'm not a hugger. OK, I don't want to put my body up against you when I meet you for the first time. I can't stand it. It's such a ballsy move like I'm a hugger. You want to
You want to put your entire body against me for the first time meeting me? It's crazy. I'm not opposed to hugging my friends, my family members, but a stranger that I've met for the very first time, like that's a ballsy move. I'm a hugger. Let's hug it out right now. No way. I can't stand that shit. It makes me crazy. What are your thoughts, ladies? I adore you. I'm a forever listener. Let me know.
Frances, I couldn't agree with you more. This goes to what we talked about a couple weeks ago, personal space invaders. And I think that it's a confessed boundary violation from the jump. Yeah. And I just, I think sometimes it's, you have to, you build to a hug. And I just, I'm not one of these people that just hugs everybody. I just...
I have to build to a hug. I just have to build there. The only caveat to that is like Angie is my dearest friend. And if she has told me about one of her friends for, you know, weeks or months or a year, oh, my friend Jane Doe, she's so great. She tells me these intimate stories about her. And then I feel an affection having never met her before. Right.
The very first time I would meet her, I would say, oh my gosh, can I give you a hug? I already feel like I know you because it's by proxy affection. But I just, people say that to me. Oh, I'm a hugger. And I'm just like, oh, you're a freak. Like do not hug.
invade my space. And it's typically the people that pronounce that they're huggers that are boundary violators. Yeah, I'm a big hugger. I'll admit it. But I'm not a first time hugger. I have to have an affection for you. Right. To hug you. And it was funny because the other day I ran into a guy I went to law school with that I probably have not seen in 25 years. Right. And but I have a deep affection for him. Like we were good friends in law school. I really liked him. And
And I see him and he reaches out for a handshake and I just go in for a big hug because I had such an affection for him. But yeah, I don't hug on the first meeting. And I think when you first meet somebody saying I'm a hugger and then squeezing them, it's just such a personal space invasion. It's just like, you don't get to say you're a hugger and then just violate my personal space. Like being a hugger means you don't have respect for boundaries is what that means. And because everybody that loves other people, um,
It's like a foregone conclusion. It's saying like, I'm for family. Well, of course people like to hug. It's a human thing that we do. I think I've had it with people having to always explain like normal behavior. Of course, if you have an established relationship or an established affection, the next step of that is you go from high and a wave and a non-wave.
to a hug as a greeting. It's a foregone conclusion, but the, the, I know exactly what she's talking about because I've had people do that to me and I'm always just like, ugh, I don't like this. I'm always like, okay, okay. It's always somebody sweaty that's doing it too. Somebody that you would never think you were going to hug or put your body up against theirs. Yeah. I'll tell you what I wish we did in the United States of America, among many other things. Since I was homesick for two days, I was watching a lot of British TV.
And I just love the two kisses. Yeah, it's a nice. I just really like that. That would be nice. It would be really nice. It'd be nice if we had walkable cities. It'd be nice if we had a president that believed in democracy. Yeah, there would be. Equality even. Yeah. I hate to get too far out on a limb. All right. Kiki the Magic Lesbian, who's next? Up next, we've got Haley.
Okay.
where the local loved Mexican restaurant has vote for Mike Johnson for congressman on the lawn. And I drove by a house the other day that had a Project 2025 flag flying in their yard. I've also had it with Mike Johnson trying to cut Medicaid.
when nearly 40% of all the people in his district rely on Medicaid for their health. This is disgusting and it's harmful to the health of the people in his backyard. I've had it.
Moses Mike Johnson is the classic hypocritical Christian that lives in the Bible Belt. And Oklahoma is culture. It's not technically the South, but it's culturally the South because it's just so religious. And this state in the Louisiana's and Alabama's, Mississippi's.
All the racist slave states all still cling on to their guns and religion and the majority of Christians in this part of the country. I'm not talking about you Methodists and normal people on the coast that go to a church that promotes equality and social justice. I'm talking about in the Bible Belt.
There is a cancer in these Christians and they are the biggest hypocrites on the planet. There is this dissonance in which they engage every day wherein they worship money while at the same time, their Lord and personal savior, one Jesus Christ, or as I like to call him, Jesus H Christ, um,
He spoke against the accumulation of wealth, spoke for standing with the marginalized. And if Moses Mike Johnson and all of these hypocritical white evangelical Christians in the South truly were followers of Christ...
They would be standing up for trans people, for black people, they would be demanding the return of Abrego Garcia. They would be at the border making sure people were treated humanely, but instead they side with billionaires and dehumanizing and the demoralization of other human beings.
Christian, Southern Christian Republicans are the grossest people in the United States of America. And it is the breeding grounds where MAGA was able to take hold. No, I completely, completely agree. And I've often thought about Mike Johnson's district, like I know 40% on Medicaid. That does not surprise me. How many of them because of what he's doing,
will not vote for him next time. You know, I just wonder, will it ever penetrate that far? Or will he go in and say, oh, well, that's Biden's politics that cut Medicare. And they're just like, oh, okay, y'all. This is why they attack education. You know, like-
Like in Oklahoma, you would think with our stats, as staggering as they are, like a bottom five state consistently. In every category. Year after year after year that the people in this state would say enough with these Republican super majorities. Our schools suck. Our health care sucks. Our streets suck. Our, you know, everything.
We always make the news for the most embarrassing reasons. We're a bottom 10 state. But time and time again, their hate for others
is where they go to vote. And Christian Republican politicians offer them the biggest menu of hate in which they can vote from. And that also offer them what they're comfortable with with their mega churches is being grifted. Right now, let's support the rich preacher while you're struggling. And I've told this story before, but I'll just never forget it. I was in like seventh grade and I went to church against my mother's permission, but that's neither here nor there.
And my friend's mom, Shonda was her name. Her mom was a UPS worker. And she really worked hard, like middle of the night hours to try to pay for Shonda's
like cheerleading uniforms and things that the school didn't cover. And we go to this church where the preacher drives a Rolls Royce and the wife wears a full white mink coat. And she gave all the cash she had to them. And then we had to count out literally pennies, nickels and dimes at 7-Eleven to put gas in her car.
And so how do you get people like that to vote for their own interest? I don't know. But I will never forget being a young teenage girl seeing that and saying, oh, my God, my mother's 100%.
percent right about these religious people. Because I just, I mean, I saw it. I had no indoctrination, but it was so gross that she valued giving money to that clear con man. Right. Over, you know, supporting her, trying to support her own family. Yeah. It was just, it was, it was, it was, I'll never forget it. It just left such an impression upon me. It's really sad. Because you spotted it at seventh grade. Like he's the con man up there with the mint code and the Rolls Royce.
But when you're indoctrinated, you just think that's how it is. Yeah. You just don't think for yourself. I don't know what... I don't know, you know, Fox News has enabled a lot of this, but the main thing that needs to happen is...
You know, Trump administration is now talking about removing tax exemptions for universities. Well, when the Democrats get in power, they need to quit fucking around with this and tax the churches. Tax like there's some school called Liberty University, a complete rat trap bullshit. That was the whole Jerry Falwell. Oral Roberts has a university. Oral Roberts. Are you kidding me? This man is a con man.
locked himself up and said, "If y'all don't give me $2 million, I'm going to burn in hell." Like he's going to die. And people sent the money. My grandmother, my mom, no wonder she was an atheist, my crazy-ass grandmother, we called her Mama Worth, meaner than a rattlesnake, lived longer than all of my other grandparents.
She sent money to oral robbers. And, you know, like no wonder my mom was like religion's fucked up, you know. So that's the only way I think that. No, it has to be done. It has to be some sort of governmental policy.
to say these are not tax-free for this craziness. Okay, one thing, Haley, since you are in Mike Johnson's district, I want you to go undercover and just put your feelers out. I find it impossible to believe, and this could just be my own cynicism, my own world experience.
Getting away, making my mind run crazy, but I've got to think there are rumors of Mike Johnson being gay. And I know nothing about his wife, but I've read enough to know I think she's a lesbian. So Haley, I want you to just kind of put your feelers out and see if you can find that. I don't know if she's a lesbian or not. And I don't know if he's gay or not, but I do know...
that they spend more time thinking about gay sex than most gay men I know. A hundred percent. I've never seen a dedication by two alleged heterosexuals, alleged straights that sit around consumed with gay sex. I personally never think about gay sex because I'm not gay. So therefore I'm not threatened by it.
Your business, your life, swing for the fences, get on Grindr and grind away. Have at it. I don't give a shit. But what I give a shit about are hypocrites like Moses Mike Johnson and his hateful little twat ass wife.
That have these pray the gay away torture camps. And he has these weird things where he's, I do know this. I have heard rumors about the guy, you know, Moses Mike lives with this evangelical preacher. Yeah. Who apparently rumor wise is a closet case. No surprise there. This multimillionaire from Nashville owns the condominium in DC where they live.
And here's the thing. Why does this man have a roommate? Okay, that's weird. Right. But then this guy, the car dealer that funds this, apparently he's been married like four times. The rumor is he made his ex-wife, because they had a really nasty divorce, watch Gatorade
Gay porn with him. So a lot of the MAGA men, their insecurity regarding their masculinity is number one, I think that they themselves are turned on by gay sex, which who cares? Don't be a dick about it. We're not going to be dicks to you about it. We're going to be a dick about your hypocrisy.
And number two, then they're very jealous that gay men are so sexually liberated. You know, we've had, you know, that cyclist, that Peloton guy that we have. Oh, Cody Rigsby. He's great. Yeah. And he was talking about his sex life and how great it was and how liberated he was sexually. And we've talked to others. And I think there's this inherent jealousy that these sexually liberated.
repressed men that have to, you know, do all this Bible study and all this just complete waste of time bullshit worried about gay sex. I think they're just real jealous that they're not that liberated to have that kind of shame-free sex. And I think they're kind of turned on by rock-hard cogs, which is something you have in common with them. Absolutely. I say, Mike, go for it. Mike's wife, go for it. Do whatever makes you happy. Don't be a dick to other people. That's why I draw the line. Don't you remember that couple? She was a
We covered Bridget. Bridget from the Moms of Liberty. The Moms of Liberty. Bridget's big MAGA. You know, she's in there at the school boards going crazy, banning books. Banning books. And her husband's big Trump thumper, you know, has probably the homoerotic Photoshopped images of
Trump on his death and their side hustle project is they engage in menage a trois. Right. Which my thing is, I don't give a shit. If you want to menage, menage away. But apparently the husband was like sexually abused and didn't follow the rules of consent. Right.
with their third party. And they're the ones who run around claiming all of this sexual purity and trying to regulate people's sex lives. And it's always the people like that. Moses, there's some fucked up sexually going on with him.
Something going on with J.D. Vance, for sure with Trump. I mean, there's no question there's some sort of sexual shortcoming there. Right. Inadequacy out the gazoo. I mean, going back to the gold in the Oval Office, if that doesn't scream insecurity, I don't know what. I'll tell you who else is a red flag to me who is on my watch list. Josh Hawley. What?
One hundred percent. I just get a gaydarping like nobody's business. And then he was with that kicker. Yeah. That hates women. Harrison Bucker. Bucker.
But, yeah, Harrison, I hate him. But something, which is an appropriate name. Who Serena Wilson just filthed him, dirtied him up. But they basically get together and they've taken couples photos. Like engagement photos. And I just, like the sexual tension in the photograph, like it's hard to capture that. Like I would say the last time I saw that was when Brad Pitt left the
Jennifer Aniston and he first started fucking Angelina Jolie and they were like on the cover of Vanity Fair and it was like, oh my God, the sexual tension, like those people are fucking like you could just popped off the page.
That's what I thought about this kicker and Josh Hawley. I thought, I mean, there's a lot of sexual tension there. Too bad. They're such fucking hypocritical assholes that don't have the courage like all of these other brave, amazing Americans and LGBTQ people all around the world because it takes a lot of courage. Yeah.
to come out and be who you are and accept the judgment from the hypocritical assholes like these people. I completely agree. Okay. Kiki, the Cocoa Puff. I like Kiki. Do you love me? Is that a Drake song? That's Drake. I'm proud of you, Pumps. Okay.
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Okay, we've got Lisa next. Okay, so I'm 45 years old, so I basically am going through perimenopause and I fucking had it with everything at this point. However, my big I've had it right now is these Facebook community pages that, you know, you can go on. Somebody can say, hey, I'm looking for a doctor. Can anybody recommend one? Blah, blah, blah.
What I've absolutely had with, though, is, for example, hi, neighbors. I'm looking for a reputable breeder for a mini doodle. And you've got 50 goddamn people coming on there saying it's really not right to get a breeder. You really should go to the shelters. A mini doodle is just a mutt. You should just go to the shelter and get a mutt anyways. Bitch, they weren't asking for a moral stance on
A breed. Or, oh, hey, neighbors, looking for a chiropractor in the area. Any recommendations? Chiropractors are wackadoos. You can do that at home by throwing tea leaves on your joints. It is just honestly so fucking annoying. Yeah.
Everybody has an opinion and everybody thinks that their opinion is going to somehow miraculously sway somebody. Oh, wow. Random person on Facebook didn't think about it that way. You've totally changed my mind and changed my life. I fucking had it.
She is so spot on. It's so great. It's so true. It is so true. The other day I saw that like on our comment section, because we start off our show with petty grievances. And typically our Tuesday, Thursday episodes of I've Had It are lighter by nature, you know, comedic relief. Although we do talk about serious things because we're in serious times. And then our IHIP news, we really fucking hammer it, right? So somebody writes...
Must be nice to be upset about such petty things when the world's on fire. And somebody else, something about like, oh, you're worried about your parking spot and there's people starving in the world. And it's just like...
Why does everybody always have to go into the comment section and just try to like one up catastrophize? It's like, I want to make a bigger catastrophe of this. This is the worst part about social media. Yeah. The keyboard courage. And I'm kind of guilty of this. Like Jennifer has to talk me off the ledge sometimes that I don't understand. Well,
Like people that vote for Trump, like I can't wrap my head around it because I used to be in the evangelical Republican world. And so I think when you be, you know, I look back and I think, how could I ever be like that?
And it just makes no sense. Blah, blah, blah, blah. So I'm, it's so hard for me to wrap my head around it. And Jennifer's always like, you're a dipshit. You used to do this. Like you're never going to change anybody's mind. And I'm just like, oh yeah. I mean, I think people fundamentally real forget that nobody changes their mind unless they want to, unless they do the work. You can't just change somebody's mind. Like,
hey, Trump's a convicted felon. That should give you pause. That's not going to change anybody's mind. It's just not. Right. Yeah. No, Pumps is right. The other day we're doing an iHip News and I play, it's these two blonde women that remind me of a lot of the women that she sent her kids to school with. They look just like that group of moms from Crossings. And they're talking about the sun and the planets and God controlling them. And Pumps is like, oh,
They're joking, right? Nobody would believe that. And in my mind, I'm like, is she gaslighting me? Because you like literally have said to me multiple times, looked me straight in the face and said, did you know people used to live to be 900 years old? I'd be like, fucking that never happened. Nobody lived to be 900. That is a lie. But maybe there's something to it. Like once you find, it's like a recovering smoker.
Yeah. You hate smoke worse than anything. I'm, yes. That's what you are about. Like I'm intellectual enlightenment. Yes. You're harder on those because you used to be in it. And now that your eyes are open, you're like a recovering smoker. Maybe that's the parallel. Yeah. No, I feel like you're fucking with me though. Or gaslighting. No, I know. I'm like, what the fuck?
I had to explain to you about modern science and filter. I mean, modern medicines and filtered water that people didn't live long. And I remember you said, well, maybe there was no disease in the Garden of Eden. And I was like, there was no Garden of Eden, Angie. I remember exactly where we were. We were at Mazio's Pizza on North Penn in Oklahoma City. And the conversation went on for like 20 or 30 minutes. And I remember I got in the car. You thought she's a dancer. And I started in my car and I thought, how can somebody...
go to law school and pass the bar exam and think that people used to live to be 900 years old and you believed in the arc story literally. 100%? Yeah. It never occurred to me not to. I mean, it just, when you're in doctorate, I like that you don't ever...
Take the next step. Because it requires blind obedience. That's right. And that's what Trump is using to manipulate these people. That's right. You have to believe in him and your stock market's poof, your Medicare is going away, your Social Security is going away, but you have to have blind obedience that he alone can fix it. And that's why your former president.
people that you had in your life fall prey to this so easily because blind obedience is their default setting. Right. Yeah. Yeah, totally. But you're not on Pemps' watch anymore, you guys. She's the reformed smoker of enlightened thinking. Critical thinking. You are, though. It's really amazing. But I mean, it just takes more effort than people think, I guess. And it takes more effort than I give people credit for. But I think it's really cool because kind of once you
I remember when you called and told me, you're like, I think all this stuff is bullshit. I remember how shocked I was. I was so shocked. And then you've just kind of gone on and on. And now you're like more hardcore about a lot of this shit than I am. I'm like, you go girl, make up for lost time. Go skittle. Yeah. Go skittle, beaver. Burn it to the ground. Burn it to the ground. That's what beavers do. But see, your story is so good because...
You used to be a part of the problem and be the judger and you found enlightenment. And let me just ask you this. Are you happier? A hundred percent. Yes. Although I don't. Okay. But to be fair, when you are in a situation where you think you're better than everybody else and that other people's problems couldn't possibly affect you because you're so special.
I don't think that until something happens to where you realize, oh, I'm really not special. Oh, bad things can happen to me. You lack such an awareness. I don't think you know that you're not happy. Right. You just the lack of empathy. You don't realize you don't have it. But let me ask you this. When you found out, and I remember because I was your safe haven.
that everything you believed about your marriage and life and life and all you had to do was pray was all bullshit and the betrayal in which your husband did and that moment of collapse, which would be terrible for anybody regardless of your faith. Do you think that that hit you harder because it shook your very foundation? I absolutely do. I mean, I absolutely do. I just...
I remember you sitting on my porch and we were smoking and it was, it was, it was, there were two layers to it. There was number one, I can't believe my husband did this. Right. My life is a fraud. And number two, this wasn't supposed to happen. Like you, to me, you had a bargain with your worldview that you were indoctrinated in. Right. And it was, I'm going to be a good girl.
I'm going to do everything my mother tells me and I'm going to pray. I'm only going to do these things on this approved list. And I remember you would vacillate from this isn't supposed to happen to me to my children's lives are supposed to be perfect. And I remember I would look at you and I go,
Why do you think your kids' lives are supposed to be perfect? But that's just what, I mean, I 100% believed it. I remember, and I remember it was like a, it was, I remember when Joshua came and he was like, how's Pumps doing? And I would say, there's this extra layer, everything she's dealing with is devastating, but there's an extra layer to it that the grand bargain that she made with life and that was pitched to her. Right.
was a scam. She got scammed in life. No wonder I'm scammed all the time. She's reeling from the fact that she kept up her end of the bargain and the other part of the bargain was bullshit. That's
And what was so great about a lot of it, though, I have to give you so much credit, is you would be freaking out. You'd cry, this is supposed to happen to me, a white woman temper tantrum. And then I would kind of be like, pumps, but no childhood is perfect. Because then what's adulthood supposed to be like? Just a round of disappointment. And then you'd kind of start chuckling. And you were, your intelligence and intelligence
self-deprecating nature, I think was really therapeutic through that whole thing and probably led you to the ultimate enlightenment of being deprogrammed from the cult of evangelical Christianity. Yeah. Well, we had to laugh. We did. Because if you weren't laughing at our world in those days, you were fucking in the fetal position crying, which is a perfect segue into buy our book. We didn't even. Okay. So yeah, listen, here's the deal. Everybody.
So we have a book that we wrote and it's not political. It's about our friendship and all the fuck ups and all the mistakes we made that led us to a place where we could, as two women from Oklahoma, start a podcast and it actually be obviously America's top DEI podcast. Right.
And like, we just feel like we need to be here on our channel fighting for democracy. We're only going to do one show at the 92nd Street Y in New York City. And other than that, we're going to come right back here. And so we need for you all to preorder our book. It'll be posted in the link below so that we can show our publishers that we have our own way of marketing it. And we don't need to go grandstand around America.
Right now. Yeah. Get them off our ass. Yeah. So buy our book. It's really... It's a good little read. It's a good little read. We're kind of fucking crazy. It's a little bit of a manifesto. Oh, yeah. But anyway, yeah, buy the book. Buy the book so our publisher will stay off our asses and we don't have to go...
tour around in Trump's America because we don't have that in us right now. We don't have it. Trump's America, things are different. I can't fucking do it. I can't see one more. I'm a big boy with my Eagle shirt on an airplane right now. I just can't see it. Make America great again while we sit and wait for an air traffic controller. Can't do it.
All right. Kiki, the magic lesbian and the beaver and I, tell them when we will see them. We will see you next Tuesday and Thursday. I'll tell you what I've had it with.
Listen up, patriots, gay-triots, and nay-triots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.
We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever. You get your podcasts and YouTube. Please go rate, subscribe, and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind, pumps. Pumps, what does an eagle say? Caw-caw. A little bit more enthusiasm. Caw-caw. That's it. That's, that's. Caw-caw. That's the patriotism that this country needs right there. Caw-caw.