Bible Thumper BJ's
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Visit your local Toyota dealer and test drive one today. Toyota, let's go places. See your local Toyota dealer for hybrid battery warranty details. This episode of I've Had It is brought to you by Booking.com. Booking. Yeah. Every time I use Booking.com to find a place to stay in the U.S., I know they'll have exactly what I'm looking for. They have a huge variety of options from hotels to vacation rentals, and I'm

always able to find something that fits my specific needs. I found that Booking.com has something for everyone. Find exactly what you're booking for on Booking.com. Booking.yeah. So we're supposed to start the podcast. Ready? One, two, three. Patriots, gay triots, they triots, black triots, brown triots. So cool.

Welcome to America's Top DEI Podcasts, broadcasting from deep in MAGA country. We will not be deterred. Pumps, what have you had it with? Okay, what I've had it with is drunk repeaters. Oh, it's the worst. I've been around the general public more than I normally have this summer. And the people that drink and repeat themselves 50 times, drunk repeaters are the worst. I don't care if you're drunk, sober, on your deathbed. There's no place for a drunk repeater.

Yeah, that is such a good grievance. It's so relatable. I mean, you're around somebody. Josh and I always know when we're at a party and the first time somebody repeats, it's time for us to go. Right. That's the bell. Like always, that's the time that you need to get out because then it's contagious and everybody's going to repeat. But that reminds me of this story. Okay, so back when you were married.

And I think the Thunder, the Oklahoma City Thunder, was playing Los Angeles Lakers in some sort of playoff game. And you and your ex-husband and myself and Josh got tickets to this game. And we were sitting kind of – it was a home game in Oklahoma City. And we were sitting kind of behind the Lakers bench.

And Kobe Bryant was there because I remember you and I commenting about like how attractive we thought he was. And we were we had splurged. We I mean, we were broke at the time. But I remember we all splurged and got like floor two seats or whatever. And they had a waitress. So the waitress would come by and offer drinks. And I think I had a glass of white wine the first quarter. I had a glass of white wine the second quarter.

Maybe I had one at halftime. I can't remember. And they cut you off at the middle of the third quarter. But as you can tell, I don't drink anymore. But when I did, I was such a bad drinker. I metabolized alcohol so fast I would get drunk like that. So I am schnockered, like completely schnockered. And I would always get so tired when I drank. And Josh had just had it with me because I think I'm drunk repeating. I'm schnockered.

And I think you were kind of tipsy too. And we're walking out of the arena. And I was having a hard time. Like I was having a hard time. I was having a hard time functioning, right? And this is a time period where you absolutely hated Kirk. And I hated him for you as well. So he was enemy. I mean, major enemy, like a lot of shit had just come out. But we, you know, you had decided you were going to try to make the marriage work.

So Josh is like, God, Jennifer, you got so drunk. And I'm like, pumps, help me. And you're kind of tipsy too. And I just fall into your ex-husband for consolation. That's how desperate I was that I just like collapsed into him to help me because everybody was finished and done with me. And the next morning you called me and you were like, well, how about you being so intoxicated? You fell just right into my husband's arms.

That's how desperate you were. Do you remember that? I remember the fall. I don't remember any of the buildup. Oh, yeah. But I do remember the fall because it was so unusual. Yeah.

You know, you're not a... First of all, you're not a big drinker. Even when you drank, you weren't a big drinker. You do metabolize so fast that you are a cheap drunk. Total cheap drunk. But I do remember that because we were giggling because it was like, even if you were falling off the end of the earth, he would be the last person you would want to catch you. That's what was so funny about it. And that's how desperate I was, which brings you to...

how compromised alcohol makes you. Right. You know, that, I mean, you and I had sworn, I mean, like we had just conducted a massive investigation into this man. The findings were not too good.

And so, you know, we decide, okay, let's do this double date night. And then I end up falling into the arms of your husband to console me because everybody else is being so mean to me because I was just a sloppy ass drunk. I'm sure I was repeating myself. That's why I couldn't fall into Josh. I bet it was just an absolute horror show on my part. Horror show.

I just remember the fall. Oh, I remember for a couple of months. You gave me shit about it. I mean, I deserved it and I loved it because you're like, how about you falling into what's-his-name's arms? That's right. You can give him a little smooch-a-roo. Now that, I don't know if there's a bottle of wine big enough. There's not enough drugs on planet Earth for that. That could get me to go there. Okay, let me tell you what I've had it with.

I've had it with spam calls. They are escalating. They are. It is phone terrorism. It is an invasion to quote the current administration. I report them all. Your son, your oldest son was like, hey, sign up for this on this website. I did it.

I think it increased my spam calls. And then he showed me another setting to go in the phone to where it wouldn't answer them, where it wouldn't make them ring. Well, they still ring. I am inundated so much so that I think...

I think the only option is like to get another phone. Like one day I looked at 12 spam calls, 12. Why do you think they've increased? Because I've noticed an increase too. And I remember back in the day when everybody had landlines, we had a no call list. But here's my thing with the cell phone.

I think even if you got another phone. It's on the list. It's on. I mean, anytime you have a number, because I don't think there's any rhyme or reason because they sent me a job application the other day. I had to be 22 years old and all this stuff. And I was just like, what the fuck? Like, I didn't want that. It obviously just went out to everybody. You know, I really firmly believe that when we go to these stores and they ask for your phone number.

I think that's where it starts. Yeah. I think that they're getting information. They're double dipping. They're double sugaring. We buy whatever the thing is we want from that store. We give them our phone number, our email address, because I say we're digital. We'll email you the receipt. Everything's under your phone number should you need to return it.

And then once they get your information, then they're selling your information in a mass network of spam terrorism that nobody is doing anything about. Nothing. Think that there would have to be some kind of research. Like if you are calling me on a spam call to sell me something.

I am not going to buy it from you, even though I'm desperate for it. If you spam called me. Listen to this. The day that I got the 12 spam calls and I counted, I went to my call log and I counted 12. By the 11th one, I'd had it. So I thought I'm going to go in. All the others I sent a voicemail. But the 11th one, I thought I'm going in. You want to go? Let's go. Let's pony up, cowboy. So I answer. Hello. Silent. Hello. Hello.

Hello. And then this robot voice goes, goodbye, click. So I'm going through my head pumps like,

Did somebody just hack my phone? Is this because we make this podcast? Is the Trump administration like hacking into my phone with that phone call? Because, you know, you're all paranoid because there's freaks, you know, about free speech and what have you. But it's just I don't I don't know what's going on with it. But I can't I I cannot take it anymore. No, it's horrible. It is the worst. Welcome to I've had it. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie HBIC.

and Meemaw Meat Curtains. Princess Diana of podcasting. Let's just go way back. That was a good one. I miss that. I do too. I'll call you Lady Di for the remainder of the podcast. Okay. All right. Let's check in with Kiki the Magic Lesbian. Guess what Kiki did? I thought I was getting a spam call this weekend because there's like this mass pike pass. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So they called me. I actually answer it.

And I start just bitching. I'm like, I'm on scam high alert. This is a scam. I forgot that I got a new car and I really did need a new type pass. And it was real. So I had to apologize. I said, I'm so sorry. I'm pretty sure I've done. I was going to say, I'm pretty sure I've done that too. I resemble that. I'm certain. Yeah. Like motherfucker. And then it's like,

You're like, oh, shit. I'm so sorry. I do want your services. Yeah. I do want to transfer my bike pass, as a matter of fact. I actually do. Okay. So you guys remember that episode we did where Pumps revealed how bad she wanted to fuck her DoorDash driver? That is a complete misrepresentation of the facts. I just said that I think people do do that.

I remember that. I didn't say I wanted to do it. People. Okay. So I got a big response on social media. Oh, really? And so I'm going to read you three of these responses. The first person messaged and said, people are fucking their delivery drivers. It's happening. Can confirm. Thank you. Okay, wait. I want to point out the timestamp. Yeah, this is a good one. On this DM. It's 3.34 AM. That makes this all the more credible because what I'm thinking is-

And that's a pretty hot guy avatar there. I don't know who he is, but he's kind of hot. 3.34 a.m. It's almost like he just fucked a delivery driver and then went on to tell Kiki the magic lesbian can confirm. That's 100% what I got. I was like, okay, it's 3.34 a.m. Just fucked the DoorDash driver and was like, okay, it's happening. Okay, next. Next.

Okay, this one says, Facebook marketplace fucker. Not a DoorDash fucker, but my best friend fucked someone he sold athletic shorts to. The guy asked if he could come up to try them on. So my friend said, sure. And he was asking my friend what he thought. And my friend was staring at his bulge, then asked if he could touch it. And the rest is history. LOL, they never talked again. God, that's great. I mean, that is...

That is great. I mean, Facebook Marketplace. I mean, everybody's in. And who was it, Mark Zuckerberg, that said that he felt neutered? Sounds like at the Facebook Marketplace, it's all bulge, no neuter. Yeah, it sounds like he's at the wrong spot.

Okay, and this last one I've got. Female door dasher here. Hi, ladies. So I'm currently listening to that podcast while dashing like I often do. But I am now, thanks to you, more afraid of a customer wanting to fuck me than to murder me, which is usually my primary concern. I actually dread when the instructions say meet at door because I, like Jennifer, really dread the personal contact that I might possibly need to make.

Needless to say, I am now on the lookout for middle-aged female named customer offers like Angie, Angela, because I might possibly start rejecting those. I'm worried that it might be a middle-aged lesbian curious type who was looking to hook up with her off the chance, random female delivery driver, nothing against lesbians, but like I said, I don't want any contact with customers. Thanks. Love you guys.

That is hilarious. That's funny. No, I do think, I mean, I think pumps, I think you were onto something about the loneliness and the potential door dash fucking. I mean, I do. I'm really ahead of the curve on this thing. Color me corrected. Okay, good. Color me corrected. I like that. I think that...

The Facebook marketplace, you got to give it to that. Yeah. I'm going to come over and try those shorts on. How do they look? Yeah, I think that's an open invitation. With a bulge in the shorts? Yeah. Yeah. But here's the deal. The upside of that is when they come to the door and ask if you can go in, you get to check out the whole thing. Oh, yeah. Not like a DoorDash that just brings the queso and it's like, if this is the guy, this is the guy. Yeah.

Or girl. Or girl, whatever the case may be. Okay. I have some news stories I'd like to share with you all. The first one is a British Airways flight attendant goes missing on a Super Jumbo A380 jet found naked and dancing in bathroom bender. A British Airways flight attendant was found naked and dancing in a business class bathroom mid-flight.

on our super jumbo Airbus A380 and colleagues accused him of going on a drug-fueled bender. The in-flight fiasco unfolded when the unidentified male cabin crew member was nowhere to be found during mealtime on the flight from San Francisco to London, prompting crew members to search for him on board, according to a report. I think that sounds like it might be something fun. Yeah.

I mean, I don't know. I don't know what's going on there. Maybe the flight attendant had been out like partying the night before, still had a little bit left over in his pocket somewhere. And he thought, fuck it. It's gonna be a long flight. Yeah. I'm just gonna hit this. And then just, but I'll tell you, the excitement he must have felt in that business class bathroom to just strip down naked. That's what I thought.

And dance and the music he must have been hearing in his mind. And I don't know if it was like some sort of hallucination where he thought he was like a burning man or something. But in Trump's America, I'm kind of for that. Yeah, I'm like swing for the fences, dude. It's hard enough to be a flight attendant. It is. In Trump's America since COVID. Yeah.

So, you know, I can see that that flight attendant probably needed to not fly that flight sober, albeit probably took it too far. Probably when he got naked, it was just a bridge too far. Okay, this is terrible news for me, this next report. This country will now fine airline passengers for standing up too early after landing. Turkey is now fining ANSI passengers who stand up for the plane comes to a complete stop at the jet bridge.

Flyers who unbuckle their seatbelt, stand up, or enter the aisle could be fined up to $70 according to new regulations. The new fine is to stop passengers from gathering their items while the plane is still in motion, which puts fellow flyers' safety at risk. Now, here's where I differ. I wait till we have a hard stop and a ding. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. As much as I would love to browbeat you on this issue, you never do that. It's a hard stop.

pop, a ding, and then I'm up. Yeah. Like if we're at the jet bridge is when you might unbuckle your seatbelt, but certainly not before. And you don't know. So I mean, that would have been a perfect opportunity for me to argue and be an asshole, but I just can't do it.

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Okay guys, you know what time it is. It's that time again and Pumps and I are giving away a ton of vibrators from Balessa. Because why? Because they're amazing. If you don't know Balessa, they're a bi-women for every one company redefining sexual wellness. Their whole mission is empowering you to embrace and

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Just click the link in the episode description or go to bbvibes.com slash had it. That's B-B-V-I-B-E-S dot com slash H-A-D-I-T. The whisper vibrators stay silent. But the big question is, can you? All right. Here's some alarming news coming out of our neighboring state, Texas. Texas bill that bans LGBTQ clubs, including gay straight alliances, is

Passes state legislature.

The Democratic representatives grew emotional in opposition to a bill that would ban kindergarten through 12th grade student clubs focused on sexuality and gender identity. Senate Bill 12, authored by Senator Brandon Creighton, one final legislative passage Saturday after lawmakers in both chambers adopted the conference committee reports.

That specifically clarified that schools will be banned from authorizing or sponsoring student clubs based on sexual orientation or gender identity. This is just absolutely horrible. I mean, especially in a place like Texas, where there's so much religion, there's so much overt, you know, you cannot be gay, like discrimination. Right.

These kids need somewhere to go. That club may be their only lifeline. Yes. You know, you've got Bible Thumper parents that take you to the Bible Thumper Hellfire Damnation Church. And if there's a club at school where you can go as an outlet to be yourself until you get out from under your parents' control, I just think that could be life-saving. Absolutely. And when you look at the suicide rates of people in this community, it's higher. Yeah.

And all of these measures that the pro-life party, that the pro-life Texas people, the pro-life Christians are doing are actually not helpful to life. And I just think this is where we keep taking steps backward and we keep taking steps backwards. But my message here is so many of us during this last election had conversations with friends and family about who they were voting for.

And people, conversations that I had anecdotally that were probably going to lean to vote for Trump did it because of a financial reason. They personally would have to pay less taxes. So then I would bring up that I was not willing to sell out human rights for my LGBTQ plus friends, my black and brown friends. I'd rather pay more taxes than to see them get thrown under the bus.

One conversation I had in particular, this woman looked at me and said, well, he's not anti-gay and he's not racist. And what I have to say is that's just a willful blindness. This party, the Republican Party, is very anti-gay. They've always been anti-gay.

They're very racist. They've always been very racist. Now, there was a time period back during slavery where the Democrats in the South were the racist party. But the parties have basically switched identities by the time we went to the civil rights movement in the 60s. It was the Democrats that fought for civil rights, etc. Both parties evolved on a different track.

But it's so crazy that when you think about, when I think about studying in school, like in college in the 90s, and I think about learning about like the civil rights movement, you see the videos and you see how terrible black kids were treated, black people were treated, black veterans. And then if you know anything about Harvey Milk in the gay civil rights era, and they used to go into the gay clubs and round up men.

I mean, we're just right on the precipice of that again. And I can't imagine that you would want to spend your whole life like a lot of these pundits, like say take Scott Jennings or what's his name? Oh, the closeted gay one on Fox, Jesse Waters. Okay. That you would want to spend your whole online digital life, you know, your whole biography when you're dead, your whole Wikipedia page when you're dead.

Is that you fought for people to not have rights and wanted to force them and tell them who they had to be. Right. That you thought you had a better idea on how people should live their lives than they did. And it is so gross. And it not only is racism and sexism and bigotry and homophobia is

under Trump, I feel like it's empowered. I mean, you look at what's all going on, like Pete Hegseth ripping Harvey Milk's name off. You know, it's just like, are you that fucking insecure? Harriet Tubman. Harriet Tubman. Ruth Bader Ginsburg. All the people whose names they want to remove. So, listener, Pumps is talking about a story that we read where Pete Hegseth, the Secretary of Defense,

He's removing and changing the names of boats and other things. And it was like Harriet Tubman, Harvey Milk, Ruth Bader Ginsburg. And so it's not any white. No, no white males. And so Kylie shared something that was really disturbing with me that out of her friends, her gay friends.

50% of her gay friends have had to sever ties with their families of origin because their families are so hateful and homophobic. Wow. Kylie, is that right? That's a huge number. Yeah. I mean, it's a crapshoot here in Oklahoma. Like 50-50 shot if you meet a gay person, they're likely not going to have a relationship with their parents anymore. Yeah.

Would you say it's more religious or rural people? I think it's a mix. I think it's the culture of Oklahoma that's religion and politics put together. And I have a handful that have relationships with their parents only because they changed their lifestyle so that they could keep that relationship. What do you mean? Like they are not being gay. They play fake straight? Yes. Okay.

And is that just in front of their parents or in everyday life? I think everyday life. That's another option if you want to keep your family. So like conversion therapy that worked. Correct. Yeah. Well, it doesn't work. No, I know. But they're acting like it did. Boy, that's sad. That's terrible. Yeah. Man, I hate to hear that. 50%. I just couldn't imagine as a parent if I had, if one of my boys were gay. Yeah.

as big of an ally as I am now, I mean, I would just, I would, it would be turbo drive. Right. I just can't imagine that you would want to force your kids to be something that they're not. I mean, I think the best parenting is when you let your kids discover who they are. You guide as best you can, but they've got to find their own way. They've got to chart their own path. They only live one life. Right. You know, and, and,

My mother told me a long time ago when I was probably seven or eight, and I'm really lucky that I have such an open-minded intellectual mother. So when these things came up when I was growing up in Oklahoma, I would ask my mom stuff like, so mom, why is somebody gay? And she'd go, well, darling, they're born that way because nobody in their right mind would choose to be gay in the middle of the Bible belt. Just things like that. Like why would, like Kylie's friends that are gay,

And for their parents to make the argument that it is a choice and that they're choosing being gay over them is insane. You know, it's it's I just can't imagine how this decades long attack on these things and how it is spread into these seemingly functional. Probably if you ran into a store, they seem nice, but.

but underneath just so full of hate for homosexuals and minorities. And that is something that has been bred and reinforced in middle America, outside of Oklahoma, this thing. Because if you look at the electoral college map and you start looking county by county, you look at rural America and even in West Coast states, East Coast states, in rural areas where people tend to be a little bit more religious and

and not as educated, you see this over and over and over again, the support for Trump. And they all are very anti-gay, tend to be racist. - And anti-woman. And also I think that in a state like Oklahoma,

It's homogenous. Like there are very few different cultures. You rarely, if ever, hear people speaking more languages. Like when you're in New York City, you're walking down the street, you might hear five languages. You see all different colors of people. So I think they get in their little white boxes and, you know, they hear Fox News saying, oh, my gosh, great.

Criminals are coming across the border in droves, which is not happening. So they create all these problems that then they're going to fix. And these people get so wound up and it becomes a silo in their own communities because they're all watching Fox. They're all going to the same church.

They've never appreciated diversity because they've never been around it. And that as well as generational racism. Absolutely. You know that their parents were racist, passed on to them, reinforced to them, where the best thing is when you see...

enlightenment from that. Like my, I had a grandmother, she was racist for sure. She lived to be forever. But I remember I went to see her in the nursing home and it was before when Barack Obama was running in the primary against Hillary. So it was probably 07-ish and he was on and I, and she had always had Fox News blaring and I,

And I was like, oh, I really like him. And she said, I like him too. He can't help it that he's colored. He can't help that one bit. And that's just like, that's what she, and I was just like, oh my God, I cannot believe that. And then her daughter, my mother,

not racist at all, voted for Obama twice, always has tried to search for more enlightenment, a way to be more accepting. And then you get to me. And so you see that sometimes they can evolve if you foster a home that promotes critical thinking.

You can foster each generation to get better. But if you foster a home that promotes Iron Age magical thinking and only a binary choice in the world, you're either with him or against him.

I'm talking about God, you know. Yeah, I was wondering. Or Trump or Jesus. That this is the only way. This is the way the earth started. This is the only way you can think. This is the only way you can believe. These are the people you hate. These are the people you love. Then it doesn't foster a home of critical thinking where each generation can find more enlightenment and get better and better. And that's such a danger, in my opinion, to organize religion because you see people

And just how indoctrinated when you get to the Bible belt. I mean, it's bananas how indoctrinated and people are in evangelical Christianity here. And they just don't critically think at all. And they're hateful. I mean, just mean, hateful twats. Yeah. And here's the thing, too. If you look at just take the Bible belt of the United States, poverty, crime,

education is low. I mean, like everything that's not healthy and not evolving is in those states. The biggest suckers off the federal government. The through line is the religious and the rural nature where they're all together feeding each other's horseshit. Kylie, will you add some shirts to our merch store that say boycott megachurches?

I really think we need to start a movement. I don't think people realize the generational damage that's being done by these grifting prosperity gospel type churches. They are politically aligned and they are making people dumber, more

and it's damaging. I mean, I think they're abusive. Telling little kids that when they're six, seven, eight, nine, that they're going to burn in hell if they're not good little Christian boys or girls is spiritual and child abuse. Well, and just teaching the judgment and the cruelty, like generations of judgment and cruelty. And you're not allowed to evolve in church because

If you think critically, then it hurts. So you've got people that are just simply not getting better. They're getting worse. Yes. And then they go out. This was on the podcast, but it was the Mormons. You and I were talking about the Mormons. And somebody in the comment section told me this, but I think it's worthy to bring up again, that they on purpose send those 18-year-old kids out in the world so they get rejected because

So then when they come home back to Utah, they're like, see, we told you everybody was mean out there. See, you know, that's so interesting because I always thought that was the dumbest thing in the world. Like sending those kids out that young. It's so diabolical. Like it went until you told me that, that that person had told you that. I just thought they were just like, who's going to listen to an 18 year old coming to your door? And then aside from like, aside from all of that, here's what...

Here's what's such a rub about this branch of Christianity is a person, and you can really speak to this, but this is my observation. I noticed that my friends of faith were always worried about these bizarre, random, fairytale-like things, like they hadn't prayed enough.

or they hadn't Bible studied enough, or that impure thoughts about a hot celebrity that they saw on TV. Like all of this shit that doesn't make you a better person, that's a complete fucking waste of time to worry about. They were always worried about all this stupid shit instead of

like getting to know themselves, their true self. They had to be this person that the Bible and their preacher and their parents said, this is your road. You can only go down this road. You cannot go anywhere else or you're going to go to hell. But I think that's by design. I know. I mean, you know, it's just because if you start getting outside the box and because it's a social thing,

It's supposed to, I mean, like from what I've read in deconstructing the whole thing, it's to control behavior of the masses. This is how we want them to act. So we have to make a control that they're a bad person if they do A, B, and C because then they're outside of our influence. So when you see it like that, there's a lot of time spent on stuff that doesn't matter because then you're not worried about how you actually feel and what's actually happening. Kylie? Yeah.

Yes. Did you go through any of this? Or you said you kind of thought it was all bullshit when you were 10. Yeah, I just remember it pretty quickly not clicking in my head just because I think my default setting might be to critically think. Right. And so I just would be like, well, how come ours is right and all these other ones are wrong? What do we know? And then, you know, everything they would say just didn't add up. And so it just pretty quickly fell apart in my head. Yeah. So would you just go to church and fake it?

It wasn't necessary. I didn't know I was faking it for a while. So it kind of takes a while to like allow yourself to think that because I remember also being worried about God hearing my thoughts about me not agreeing. I'd be like, oh my gosh, he just heard me question this. What about you, Pumps? Did you worry about your thoughts being monitored? I don't think I really ever worried about my thoughts being monitored because unlike Kylie and Seth that picked it up at an early age.

I was late study. I was a late bloomer. So I would say probably I didn't have worried about my thoughts because I just thought, I mean, it just never occurred to me that I wasn't going to do what I was supposed to do, what they told me to do. So I don't think I ever worried about my thoughts because I thought my thoughts were right in line. Because you never had bad thoughts. Well, I mean, I had, I'm sure I did, but I mean, I just don't remember thinking, oh my God, that was a bad thought. Okay. What's, that's been another,

Great session. The deconstruction of evangelical Christianity, which I think is at the epicenter of MAGA. It has to be. It is. By the numbers. I think in order for us to advance as a country, we have to address the crazy Christian problem in America. And we seem to be the only people that want to do it. We seem to be.

All right, Kylie. Is there anything else to discuss? We could listen to a couple of voice memos. Let's do it. Okay. Up first, I've got Millennial Matthew. Hello, I've had a team. It's Matthew. I want to start by saying I've kind of had it with you all for making me get on Zuckerberg's app just to send this voice note. Didn't even have Instagram. I had to make one. So now I feel like I'm part of the problem and I'm blaming you.

What I've really had it with, though, is emotional cowardice. Because the older I get, the more I'm convinced that most of society's problems can be traced back to that. Because somebody somewhere cares more about a paycheck than they do about people, and they're willing to turn a blind eye to all sorts of fuckery just so that they can feel more comfortable. And that's disgusting. Jen, I want to specifically give you a shout-out for...

for how you handled recent interviews with certain politicians. I loved that you didn't let them gaslight you or derail the conversation with their political word salad. That is real allyship, and it made my social work heart so happy. Thank you both for doing what you do. Your show genuinely helps those of us on the other end of the podcast get through the day. Keep fighting the good fight, and if you ever get sick of all the bullshit, I'm licensed to help. Just saying.

That's so nice. Millennial Matthew. Yeah, that is nice. And he called us out for being part of the problem on Instagram, and he's not wrong. No, I mean, even YouTube is Google. I mean, it's everywhere. I mean, we live in an oligarchy. So if you listen to our podcast,

a podcast on YouTube or watch it on YouTube. That's a part of the problem. Jeff Bezos, Mark Zuckerberg and Tim Cook and on and on and on. I mean, you can just go forever. But he's I mean, he's right. But I don't know how we would have a podcast if we ignored all the oligarchs control all the technology, all the platforms we put it on. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. And they were all sitting on Trump's inauguration stage. Mm hmm.

What a bunch of pricks. What about a little dick parade right there, starting with Trump all the way down? That and just such short-sighted cowardice. You know, just so short-sighted that you couldn't just say, no, I'm not doing that. And that's the problem. What they did is what millions of Americans do.

They're like, they just play this short side. Well, I'm just going to do this and it'll be fine. And they just play it. They sell out on a short sighted thing. And I think the thing we have to teach kids and society is like stand for something. Right. Stand for something. Believe in something. If it's the country and democracy, that's such a noble cause.

Well, and humping the American flag and giving a blowjob to a microphone, that's not patriotism. That's crazy. I'll never get over him trying to give that microphone a blowjob. I'll tell you what my favorite, like the one I won't get over, is that dance party with Kristi Noem. That was bad, but specifically, I'm interested in the following. I just want to break this down. The detail that he went in when he...

to give the blowjob. He didn't pretend. He kind of gripped the stem. It was pretty interesting the level of accuracy that he went in with that. All of his supporters and all of the Bible Thumper followers, I think that they have this thing where it's like, oh, that's just boys being boys. Here's the thing. I'm not a prude. I don't care if

You know, even if the president of the United States had an affair, I think Americans just get too fucking wound up in shit like that all the time. So let's say that Donald Trump had an affair. That would bother me the least of anything he's done. Absolutely. But these evangelicals, they claim that that's, you know, all they care about.

Here's the thing. It's the family values crowd that are doubling down for Trump and that before the breakup, we're all in on Elon Musk. I'm like, you cannot sit there and talk about family. We all value family, everybody. But you want to tell everybody what their family is going to look like. And these are your two guys. These are they. But, you know, I think that's a big reveal about them. A hundred percent. And their dysfunctional families.

Because it's always the Christian family is always presented as follows. Oh, I had, you know, just really normal parents and everything, you know, was great. But like all of my friends who I would spend the night with, and it appeared like if you saw him at sporting events, but when you got behind the scenes,

There was ugliness going on. I'm not saying every religious family, but there is just a level of moral decay in these families. And you see it play out. You see it completely play out. And I think that's why they have to talk about family all the time. It's that superficial praise. It's always a red flag to me when people go on and on over the top about their families or how much they love their kids or how great their families are. I'm always like,

Something's up here. Question something a little bit. If you're trying to blow smoke up my ass all the time, I kind of think you're trying to- What would you think if I sat down and just said, gosh, Josh and I have such a great relationship. It's just so amazing. It's so incredible, blah, blah, blah. Went on and on and on about it. You'd think that's such bullshit. But the fact of the matter is this. I rarely talk about it because we've been through to fucking hell and back. And where it stands right now, we have a great relationship. Right. If you said something like that, I would buy- Okay, here, let me ask you this.

Let's say you go into a situation and there's a couple that is like, she's like, I fucking hate him. He's like, I fucking hate her. We got in a fight over, you know, who unloaded the dishwasher on the way here. Or the couple that's like, oh my gosh, we get along so great. We've never had an argument. If you had to pick which one had the healthier marriage. The dishwasher. I agree. A hundred percent. Like, I know it's a red flag when I'm being told how great the marriage is and how they never, I'm like, okay.

Oh, girl's got some secrets. It's just not normal to live with somebody and at some point not look over at them and think, I hate the way this person breathes. Like it's just not possible. And if you're able, people are able to do that, then I think that's some sort of like Stockholm syndrome, Stepford wife type thing. But you know what it is?

It's fucking cult shit. That's how they are about Trump. It doesn't matter what he says, when he says it, how he says it, what he does. They blowjob love him. Like he loved that microphone. They do. It's crazy. It is so crazy how much they love him. It's so crazy. But my new thing is going to be I blowjob love him. Yeah, he loved that. That's great. He loved that microphone. He loved it. Well, he loves nothing more than the sound of his own voice.

blowjob microphone. Pumps and I need to share with everybody that we have written a book. It's called Life is a Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches. And believe it or not, Pumps and I have not always been so rock solid. And we talk about all of our trials, tribulations, most of all our fuck ups. Yes, because fuck ups are relatable and a part of the human experience. I have gotten so much feedback regarding the book that because of my situation with the

religion and addiction and all that, that people relate to that. So I do think there's something to take away that's comforting about it because we've all been in very difficult situations. And listener, what we want you to do, this is the it book for summer reading. So please get your copy of Life is a Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches and take a picture of yourself with the book in really great places and tag at

I've had it podcast, and we will share your images with our summer it book. You can buy it in bookstores. You can buy it in the link in our bio. You can buy it at Target, Walmart, Amazon, et cetera, all the retailers. Happy reading and happy summer.

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They're also backed by a 100% money back guarantee. So basically, you are trying it risk free. Right now, you can get 40% off with your subscription at earthbreeze.com/hadit. That's earthbreeze.com/hadit. I think the saddest thing about Trump is what it revealed about everybody else.

On the other hand, it made the evangelical movement's hypocrisy crystal clear. It's what my mother said right when it happened. Crystal clear. Because she had been a...

victim of living in evangelical state. And she said, well, the best thing about Trump is he exposed these evangelicals for the hateful hypocrites that they are. Now it's there. George W. Bush provided them cover. We stand for family values. That was their take against gay marriage. We stand for family values. We value family. Well, no shit.

You know, so yeah, I think that that is true. But now they're like, the way the evangelicals like bathe in their hypocrisy and like wear it, that's a wild thing to see. They just act like it doesn't exist. Well, it's like, okay, it's like at the school that my son went to, there's a few Bible moms, right? Like, you know, they're just Bible thumpers. And

So they're at church all the time. They're the ones who slip into the group, me, let's pray before the game, you know, just nauseating shit. Right. And so then you see them on social media and these are big Jesus people. Right. And they got their kids in hats that say Gulf of America. Yeah. And so I'm like, OK, all your Christianity is total performative.

All of your politics is totally performative because the person that you claim to worship, one, Jesus Christ, the central character of the Bible, and the person who you're putting the hat, who changed the name of the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America, those two characters are diametrically opposed. And you're either too stupid or too stupid.

too dumb, too ignorant, or it's willful ignorance. I don't know what it is, but it's just, it's an, it's utter insanity, but it's always, always the moms in the group me that were talking about wanting to pray before a game that is such performative bullshit. I don't believe in God, but if I did, I would like to think that he wouldn't tip the scales on a basketball game. I

I would like to think he was busier than worrying about high school basketball. I would like to think that we weren't worried about that. I mean, that's the whole thing. When people come up and they're like, athletes win something, they're like, I'd like to thank God. I'm like, why? Why? Does this mean that he didn't like your opponent? I thought he loved everybody the same. Like, why are you bringing God into this? One time, I remember when I was little, I was with my dad in Dallas, who was not religious, coming from my mom, whatever. He

He was super religious. And I said something like, oh, my gosh, we need to pray. I'm sure it was about an OU football game. It was probably like seven or eight. And he goes, Angie, God doesn't care who wins this football game. Don't. I was just like, that was the first time I thought, you know, he probably doesn't. I mean, you know what I mean? Because you're just everything is I don't make a decision. I have to pray about what the decision is.

So at seven, you wanted to pray about a football game? It was under 10. I don't know if it was exactly seven. It might have been seven, eight, nine, whatever. But I just have that distinct memory of him saying, nobody cares. Listen to this shit. So Roman last summer, he was on one of those AAU basketball teams, right? Where they travel around. Mm-hmm.

And there was this kid on his team. And before the game, I'm walking in this hallway and it's like a series of like gymnasiums. And I'm walking in this hallway and this kid that's on his team is like standing up and there's people passing. I'm talking this tournament is packed.

And he's probably 15, 16 years old. And he has his hands like this. And then he puts them up in the air. So they're like out in front of him and then up in the air. And he is rocking back and forth and his eyes are closed. And as I walk by, I hear this, Jesus, just open your heart. Jesus, just God, just. And I was like, that is wild that he's doing that.

In this open... He didn't think to go to the bathroom, to close the stall, to do it in private. I mean, just in front of everybody. And it was so culty. And it made me so sad for the kid. Because, I mean, he just must be terrified of the devil if he thinks he has to do that right in the middle of a basketball tournament. Right. Especially that age. Because your peer pressure is so important. And peer judgment. See, here's my thought about a lot of that. Like...

I bet you that kids are, you know, kids like that, their parents, the dad or the mom are pretty fucked up. And so then they race to religion to mask it. And then that religion gets projected onto the kids. Like, I'm going to correct it with this generation by making this person uber, uber religious. And that's how I think that all goes down. Yeah, you're probably not wrong. I can see a lot of truth in that. Kylie?

You want one more? Okay. We're going to go a little pettier. Oh, good. With Jacob M. Hello, Jessica. Hello, Mother Beaver. Hello, Catriona. Hello, Seftina Aguilera. I just have to share a quick I've had it with you. And my mother has done this before. And I have told her never again if she wants me to remain in this family. I've had it.

I have had it with people, passengers in the passenger side of the car,

putting your feet up on the dash or rolling down the window and putting your foot outside of the window a little bit, like by the mirror. Are you joking? Your bare raw dogs out the window or on the dashboard of the car. I'm letting you know right now, if you ever get in my car and put your bare feet on my dashboard or stick your foot out the window, I'm

they're getting chopped off. Yeah. That's it. Bye. This happens in my family. I have a daughter that she likes to get her nasty ass feet on the dash. And that is one of the biggest fights we've had in the car where I'm like slapping the shit out of her because, because then she'll get in and say, well, Luke does it and you don't get mad. I've never noticed Luke doing it. But the point is your feet go on the floor. That's where the feet go in a car.

But I do have to say, when we were in college, because we were fucking cool, we would roll down the window and throw a little leg out every now and then. Just when we were feeling really sick.

spectacularly cool. Wasn't all the time. What's the point of that? I guess because you're cool. I mean, I don't- I think how cool and laid back and relaxed I am. Yeah, we're so cool. I think the music was blaring. I do this all the time when I drive and I do that when I sit here. My mother does it too. I don't know if it's a genetic thing or if I learned it. So see how I've got my leg. Listener, my leg, I always put my left leg up. And if I'm driving, I put my left leg up in the seat like this.

That's totally different than having your feet on the dash in somebody else's car with no socks. Yeah, that's pretty gross. It's gross. I hate it. Are you a – I think I know the answer to this, but are you a no-shoot-in-the-house person? No, I don't care. Yeah. I mean, it's too far gone by the time they get into the house. I'm not either. I do kind of like the idea of it, though, but I'm not. And then the problem with that is –

I don't want my guest's shoes to be off. I'd rather have the germs on the bottom of their feet than any threat of a sock scent. A sock scent of somebody's nasty foot. Toe jam. Ew. Yeah. I would rather have the germ from the shoe than risk any sort of unsightly threat.

Foot or scent from a foot. It seems like I read something that like the little kids now, like babies now, that parents are more inclined to have people take their shoes off. Is that true? I think everything's gotten way more like antiseptic in general. Yeah.

I mean, I just think that it's like it's out of control. Like hand washing, sanitizing, all that stuff. Let me ask you both this. I've asked Pumps this before, but I want to ask you and Kylie this and then we'll close. So Kylie, Pumps, you have been on a four-day hike. Okay. You've not showered. Nothing. You've camped. You've been in a tent. Yeah.

It's just, I mean, it's the ripe smell from the pits, from the cracks in your body. It's really bad. Dirt under the fingernails. You have not had hand sanitizer. You have not been able to wash your hands at all because the water you have, it's better to drink it than to rinse your hands off. And at the end of this four-day camping hike,

You're going to go sit down at a picnic table and you're going to eat buffalo wings and no utensils. And they're juicy and it's going to be all over your hands and there's not going to be hardly – you have to bite into those – for sure your fingers are going to touch your lips and stuff. All right? So your host, which is me, of the four-day camping, I'm going to give you a choice. You can either wash your hands –

before you touch and eat the buffalo wings or you can wash your hands after you eat the buffalo wings. What do you pick? I'm after all day long and twice on Sunday. Kylie? I'm after as well. I'm the opposite of a germaphobe. Me too. But I wouldn't want that shit on my hands after. Right. I wouldn't want the messy barbecue-y buffalo sauce. I'm after. Pumps and I just had lunch and we both got nachos.

And she washed her hands before we even left the restaurant. Right when we got back to the studio, I went and did a double wash of my hands because everybody knows with nachos you eat with your hands. And I can't stand for my hands to smell like food. No, I can't stand it. And neither one of us marched in and washed our hands before we ate.

No, we did not. We did not wash our hands prior. I hate the food smell and I hate like having like a little bit of queso or something on my, like a little food debris on it. I would prefer to wash my hands after eating than before if I only had a choice. If I only had one, always. But I'm the same person that took my kid's Patsy off the floor at the mall and put it in their mouth. I mean, I'm just not a germaphobe at all.

Yeah, I'm not. I'm not really either. The only thing I think I get paranoid about are those blood clots on a flight, which is I'm probably never going to get them because I'm so vigilant about it. But that's the one thing like when I'm flying, I'm like, I hope I don't get a blood clot. Yeah. It's just because of that People Magazine article I read like in probably 1995 or something. I feel like it was all over the place then and you hardly ever hear about it now. And maybe it's because it's... It happened to my coach. So I've always been paranoid of this as well. What? She was on an international flight, my volleyball coach.

and they almost didn't catch it. She was in the hospital for like a week or so because she got a blood clot on that flight. - I feel like I'm gonna get one right now. I just started rotating my ankles. Where was it? Was it in her leg? - Yeah, it was in her leg, like her thigh, I believe.

And she was a fit, healthy, fit person. Healthy. One long flight. See, this is a very real concern, Pam. So when I stand up and listen. I just defended you on the standing up. You did. You did. But you did. Thank you for that. You had my back. When we go to that gate and you hear the hard break and then the ding. That's it. You got to stand up, listener. You got to rotate your ankles. You don't have to jump into the aisle, but you've got to get up for blood clot prevention.

Yeah. And you've got to walk around on like an eight hour flight or something. You can't just sit there the whole time. That's terrible about your coach, Kylie. Did she die? No, she survived, but it was bad. We went and saw her. Yeah. That's really, really bad. All right. Well, that's all we have. What's going on over there with the hair? Remember pippi long stockings? Yeah, that's exactly what you're doing. Was it like pippi long stockings? Yeah.

All right. We've devolved into styling here. We will see you next Tuesday and Thursday. Tell them about our book. Okay. We have our book. Life is a Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwich. We both read the audio book. Hold it still. Yeah, so they can see it. And it's a fun read. You laugh. You cry. You walk away thinking Angie is way hotter than Jennifer.

And we will see you next Tuesday and Thursday. That was really good. I've been really practicing because you've just been such a brow beater about it. We'll see you next Tuesday and Thursday. That's my normal talk. We'll see you next Tuesday and Thursday. Thursday. All right. I'll tell you what I've had it with.

Listen up, patriots, gay-triots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.

We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcasts and YouTube. Please go rate, subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind pumps. Pumps. What does an eagle say? A little bit more enthusiasm. That's it. That's that's that's the patriotism that this country needs right there.

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