Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
So are we supposed to start the podcast? One, two, three. Terrible. One, two, three. Better. Good enough. Good enough. Good enough. Not great. Not what our listeners are used to, but it'll do in a pinch. Hashtag almost. Hashtag it'll do in a pinch. What have you had it with?
What I've had it with, and I have noticed it recently a bunch, is airport greeters. When you arrive in a city and in the baggage claim area, you have this person that wants to yak mouth about the features of the airport, where to go in the airport, fun things to do. And it's like, dude, we're already here. We figured out what we want to do. We don't want to chat with you. And the one in Oklahoma City that I noticed came out and told everyone,
I'm here to entertain you. It gives me my most happiness in life is to entertain you. And I thought, that's a lot of fucking pressure because we don't want to talk to you. Okay. Question. How do we know he was officially employed by the airport and not a crazy person? Well, I mean, he had, he had like a binder.
of I guess sites. I don't know. I was like eyeballing it, but trying not to look because I didn't want to catch his eye. And then the one in Denver that member, he tried to get all in our, tell us where to go. And you finally were like, we've got it. Thank you so much. But it was just like, yuck, yuck, yuck, unnecessary information. And I just feel like we don't need greeters at the airport. Here's, here's the thing that people aren't getting. Airport travel is not enjoyable. No,
There is not a greeter enthusiastic enough that can mitigate the insufferable experience of traveling in an airport. I couldn't agree more. And we don't need greeters. No. We don't need yak mouths. No. I think it makes it worse even. It makes it worse. I remember when we were in Denver. Yeah. And that guy, we were minding our own business. I was looking up an email to find the number of the car service and he didn't.
butted in like three times and he wouldn't stop. And I mean, I was very curt and I looked at him and said, I've got it. Like, I'm not going to sit here and have a conversation with you about what I'm doing. I just left Josh Welch and he narrates everything I do.
This is my time away from that. I don't need you coming up monitoring what I'm doing. And it was unsolicited. It was unsolicited and unhelpful. Yeah. There was nothing that he offered that we couldn't have gotten on our own. I mean, it was just all basic information. So yeah, I've had it with airport greeters. I mean, we've just taken the greeting too far. Like you said, we're never going to enjoy being in an airport. We're never going to enjoy baggage claim. No one. Yeah, I think that.
What would be better in an airport is to have a help desk. Right. With five to six people behind it that knew shit. Right. That knew where your bags were going to be, knew where they were going to be delivered. All of those pertinent questions. Yes. Him hawing about how was your flight and can I help you get a taxi? It's like, no, shut the fuck up. If I need help, I'll ask you. Right. Until then, zip it.
So what are, what is your plan of action? We're on this hot shit tour. Right. And let's just role play here. We arrive at the next lucky city that is going to be visited by, I've had it podcast for the hot shit tour. Right. All right. You arrive at the airport, right? I'm going to be the greeter. You be you. Okay. Hi, welcome to Dallas. Have you ever been to Dallas before? Can I tell you some tips about our city?
Yes, I've been to Dallas. Thank you for asking. And no, I don't want any tips. It was great seeing you. Bye-bye. Are you waiting on your bag? Are you waiting for a taxi? What can I help you with? Go fuck yourself. There's my girl. There's my girl. Only took two tries. I have no patience for it. All right. All right. What have you had it with? I don't know if this is something I've had it with, but I just want to give a shout out to Ben Affleck because that motherfucker looks like he has had it.
Yeah, he does. He always looks just like he's mad. Just, I mean... Frustrated. Every video and every image I see of him, I think he has had it. He's getting out of a car. Jennifer Lopez, megawatt, megastar. Beautiful. Megabody. Waves. She's like, I mean, just that total it factor. And there's Grumpy Ben right behind her who just looks. And I'm thinking...
I wonder what's wrong. He's just over it. But I want to explore this. Do you think maybe she's fucking him too much? I think you'd be happier if she was fucking him too much, right? Or what do you? I don't know. Maybe he's like drained of semen or something. I mean, there's something going on. I don't know what it is, but I mean, she is as happy as she could possibly be. And Ben looks like he is just miserable. Yeah.
He's probably just cranky as fuck. And probably he gets followed more because of her. Maybe that irritates him. Because I would assume, like, she is so megawatt and she's so electric and her magnetism, immediately you catch her eye. But Ben Affleck could get out of a cab in front of me and I might not notice. You don't think she's fucking him too much? I just don't think that's a thing for a man. I guess he's older, though.
I mean, I just think men want to fuck all the time. Yeah, but I think at some point, I mean, you know, she's, I imagine she is. Oh, you would think. Yeah. Insatiable. Insatiable. Yeah. Maybe that's it. Maybe we should start a rumor. I don't know. I just thought we should explore it if our.
will weigh in in the comment section. What's going on? What is he mad about? If it's just like the paparazzi and all that shit. Boring. You know, then I imagine, you know, whatever. But he just doesn't. I mean, it just looks like he's had it. And I support him in having it. And being grumpy. But I found some quotes of Ben Affleck's that I want to share with you and the listener. Okay. There's a lot of crazy, weird people out there. It's an ugly world. Okay.
Totally agree. Agree. Totally agree. Here's one. I feel like fame is wasted on me. That's probably true. He probably just doesn't like all the attention. This one is probably the best one here. He says, I have a good relationship with the world, but I don't know what the trick is to maintaining it.
That's true. That's absolutely true. That is totally, totally true. But anyway, I just have noticed he looks cranky. He looks like he has had it. He does. And I want to know what he's had it with.
Yeah. You know, like, what is it? What is it? What's going on? Maybe we've had it with the same thing. What is going on that causes you that you can't even put on your big boy pants for 15 seconds to walk from the car to the restaurant? Right. Put a big old fake smile on. Because it's obvious that motherfucker has had it. All right. Well, welcome to I've Had It. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. She's the star of the show. She's the beautiful one.
At her advanced age, we still let her be the pretty one. I'm the young one and the smart one. Kylie's here with us. Kylie, how are you? I'm good. How are you? I'm really good. I wanted to share with you guys this meme that's been rolling around on the internet. And it's a list of the worst first date locations. Ooh. Yeah. I'm excited. Guess what number one is? Picnic. Picnic.
No, I don't even think that's on the list. Kylie? Applebee's. Applebee's is number two. That would be a horrible first date. Number one is Cheesecake Factory.
Yeah, because you have to wait a long time and then you have to talk more. Here's the problem with Cheesecake Factory. And I've only eaten there one time and I'll never eat there again because this is the fucking problem with Cheesecake Factory. If you get a menu. Right. And they make Chinese, Italian, American, Mexican and French food.
you know none of it is going to be good. No, I agree with that. Because they're not experts in any of it. And just the idea of naming a restaurant Cheesecake Factory and then everybody thinking it's so fucking cool just bugs the shit out of me. Any other guesses? Are these all restaurants then I gather? No, it could be anything. Hotel room. First date in a hotel room is bad. That did not make the list. You're 0 for 2, Pumps. I see stuff like Starbucks, McDonald's.
Fast food chains, Buffalo Wild Wings. But here are the ones that I liked. Church. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good one. Yeah. That's a really bad first date. Bad first date. Yeah. Family functions. Agree. I can't believe people do that. Yeah. Somewhere that requires a long drive. Awful. And then I disagree with this one. This came in last place. Sports events. Yeah.
I think sports events are good. I think it's kind of a good first date. It's a distraction. I think coffee places are good too because you're only expected like 30 minutes. If you want to tap out, you can tap out. So I think that's wrong. Coffee place is a good first date, I think. Because you can get out if you need to. That's a little bit too intimate for me. You sit there and you just have to talk and talk and talk. I like a distraction. Yeah, the sports is my number one. What's your ideal first date? Not having one.
Not having one. Okay. Listener pumps is asexual and no fun at this game. Kylie, what's yours? My go-to is always like a bar that I knew because there would be kind of people I knew around that could come say hey or I could escape if I needed to. And then you seem like you're popular because you know people. Oh, yeah. That's a good one. And then you can kind of ditch whenever. Yeah. See, I just don't think dinner is a great first date because then you have to talk a long time. If the food's slow, then it's really bad. Yeah.
So I think the sporting event would be my number one choice. Yeah, I was surprised that it came so last. So many distractions, so many opportunities to get up and go to the bathroom. Okay, but the worst proposal...
sporting event agree the worst the people that do it on the jumbotron the worst proposals on the planet when they propose at a nfl or nba game and they do it on the jumbotron it is so cringe i hate it's so cheeseball like what about the planes that come over carrying the banner on the back that say will you marry me jennifer stupid stupid had it
All right. Do y'all want to hear some readings from my favorite Instagram account? Disappointing affirmations. I would love to. Kylie. Let's do it. I'm going to do some therapy. Believe in yourself. There's nothing you can't fuck up. That is what I need on my tombstone. I think you say that about pumps often. Yeah. Often. Yeah. Okay. Here's another one. Life. What a fucking nightmare. This is great. I think so many people should have this like on their refrigerators.
Move the fuck on. Oh my gosh. Nailed it. Move the fuck on. It's over. So somebody can see it every day. Move on. Move the fuck on. Move on. Get over it. Get over it. I get so tired of the same rehashing of relationships. I mean, a year later, that's enough. Yeah. It's over. Agree. Okay. Here's one. I am choosing kindness over anger.
Towards myself, I mean. Fuck everyone else. That's a great one. Okay, here's the last one. Don't let anyone make you feel bad for being yourself. That's your job. And nobody does it better.
That will conclude today's readings of my favorite Instagram account, Disappointing Affirmations. Love that. Kylie, what's going on on the World Wide Web? Well, you know how we posted you guys in your nun costumes recently? Oh, yeah. I've got a lot of feedback. Oh, good. A lot of gays, a lot of lesbians were very affected by this. Really?
This girl, at farmgirl, writes, I'm now going to have fantasies about pumps and that nun outfit, which may include wet dreams. Hot damn pumps. Just admit you're a lesbian already. That was very well written. Very true. Very well written. I've got a bunch of these. Okay, let's go. My seatbelt is fastened. Let's go. Okay, at Douglas Taylor said, gay man here. Turns out whore nuns could make me flip. Okay.
You sexy milfs. I like that. This person wrote, didn't think gin and pumps could get any hotter. And then they came in with sexy nun costumes. The lesbian community has won yet again.
I love this. I mean, this is just an ego feed. This is great. This is a lot better than these one-star reviews, which we enjoy. But I have to say the ego feed. It is nice. It's nice a little bit, right? It's a little bit nice. Yes. Poor nuns flipping homosexuals back to heterosexuality. I like it. Fuck conversion therapy. Great one. Yeah. Okay. The last one is from at Benny Hanna. He writes, incredibly unprofessional for Jen to show up in this amazing lesbian nun fantasy look.
Pumps, your culture is not a costume. Oh, that's so good. Those are great. That's so good. I loved our nun costumes. I really did like them too. I mean, when I saw them in the store, I was like, this is it. All right. Oh my God. I'm so excited about today. Today is a really exciting day. We have a global superstar on I've Had It. We do.
And her songs and every word to everyone. And they just ring in my head sometimes. Can't get them out. She's a global superstar. And I'm wondering, we, I mean, to date, the most famous person on our podcast has always been you. Shut your mouth. You're ridiculous. And this is going to be the first time that we see who's a bigger star. I don't think that that is even an equivalent.
And that's just... Kylie, who do you think is going to be a bigger star, Pumps or the global superstar we're about to have on? First, I think I need to hear a couple bars from Pumps. Hear that singing voice. It's horrific. It's painful. Okay. And I'm going to go with the global superstar. Global superstar. It's a close one. All right, listener, let's welcome to I've Had It, the global superstar, author of Dear Future Mama and the mother of two, Meghan Trainor.
Listener, I've taken many flights with my friend Pumps and mid-flight she's so uncomfortable with her bra she takes it off. The fellow passengers kind of look at me and I just throw my arms up and I'm like, I can't do anything about this.
Now that we're on tour, we're flying all the time. And I've noticed, Pumps, that I have not seen you take your bra off mid-flight. What on earth is going on? Honey love bras and shapewear. I wear them on every live show. The shapewear is comfortable and it actually works. And the bras are so comfortable, I don't feel like I need to rip them off mid-flight.
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I put it on there and I feel like my lips look plumper and 10 years younger. You look fantastic. And those lips are so sexy. Thanks to the Inkey List. Listener, the Inkey List is an award-winning science-backed skincare brand that has the right ingredients at an affordable price to get you the results that you're looking for. Right now, the Inkey List is offering our listeners 20% off their purchase with promo code HATIT.
Go to theinkylist.com. That's spelled I-N-K-E-Y and be sure to use the promo code HADIT for 20% off your order. That's theinkylist.com and use the code HADIT. Megan Trainor, welcome to I've Had It.
AKA Asshole Island, where we all get together to just world-class shit talk. And I hear that this is something that you're very eager to do. I'm so excited!
I love your podcast. My managers are huge fans and they showed me your podcast and they were like, you have to do it. And I was like, okay, yay. So I'm honored to be here. I love to shit talk. What are we doing? Hi. I love it. So, you know, I always say that Pumps here, she's my co-host, is the star of our show. And I'm sure you can tell from the screen that it factor is just emanating out. She's flipping me off. This is the way we communicate our love to each other, Megan. But
But I'm curious, like you are a global superstar. So can you give Pump some advice as she she's probably going to go global in the next month or two? Can you give her some tips on how to manage global superstardom? It's ridiculous. Yeah. Y'all are famous really fast. And basically just like stay or get therapy. Stay in therapy. I'm in therapy every Wednesday and
And I always ask for help. And yeah, just hold on for dear life. Yeah. I'm already in therapy. So I'm
I'm in good shape. Megan, sadly, we've been in therapy for a couple of decades. Yeah. I can't convince my mom to do the therapy. Like there's a lot of people in my family that are stubborn and won't do it. And it's the greatest thing ever. And I wish everyone was in therapy. It's just so nice sometimes just to like dump. Yeah. I need to dump once in a while, you know? Speaking of dumps.
We want you to dump now what you've had it with. What is the first thing right out of the gates that you've had it with, Megan Trainor? Speaking of dumps, I've had it with IBS. I got recently diagnosed with IBS and it makes so much sense because I
I am like a constipated queen. Like if, and I thought IBS was the other way, but IBS can also be constipation, I guess. It's just irregular bowel movements. You know what I'm saying? Sorry. I'm getting real open with y'all. Um, I, yeah, I, I've always been constipated. I go every other day or every three days and I always have belly aches. I thought it was my anxiety, but I was like, here comes my tummy aches. Every time I eat belly aches.
And then I was just on the phone, which is why I'm three minutes late. I'm so sorry with a doctor because I've been doing all these tests. Like I scooped my poop the other day. Horrific. Horrifying. I hope never you have that.
I had to do a breath test for three hours and they just called and they were like, it's not quite SIBO, but there is a definite like gas bacteria in your gut that we would like to fix. And we Googled what it is. And it was like, it's like a sulfur, like, like sulfur rotten egg smell. And Daryl's like, that's what your rotten egg farts are. And I was like,
Because lately, y'all, I've been like, oh, this part could kill a flock of seagulls. You know, like that's what it's been lately. And I just thought like maybe it's a pregnancy thing. Like what is going on? But I got IBS and I got some bacteria and I have had it. I'm sick of it. Megan, I feel your pain. I'm the opposite way. I finally have gotten it under control in the last year.
but it's gone so far that I've had to shit in a cap while driving on the highway. I mean, I cannot control it. Yes, I sure did. And it started from cap. You're so rare. I feel like all my girlfriends are like, oh yeah, I don't poop. Like I'm so bloated and constipated. And I got like anal fissures. I got it all. Like anything bad with pooping. I think it's a lot of mental too, because I never pooped in public. Like I have
I can count on one hand how many times I pooped in public. Right. Because I have such a raging fear that I will hold in my poop for hours and days. I'm so sorry that my whole podcast episode is about pooping. No, we love to talk about shit. I'm trying to help others out there if they're suffering like me. Don't be ashamed of your poop and poop in public. It's good for you. Yeah.
You know what? You know what we need to talk about, ladies? There is a huge disparity in the amount of time it takes a woman to shit. Yes. And the amount of time it takes a man to shit. And my husband still takes, oh my God, Megan, what on earth is that? I love it so much. Listener, she's just pulled out.
A water bottle that is even larger than a Stanley cup. Yeah, it is one of the worst things I've ever seen in my life. I have I this is my little one is I'm a half gallon and I drink a whole gallon every single day. Do you still feel dehydrated? Yes. That's why I'm going to doctor.
Going to every doctor I can, I'm like, study me, like investigate my body. How come I wake up with brown pee? And every night I'm dying to put on my chapstick because I'm so dehydrated. Okay. What's going on with your feet? Well, I'm a mess right now. I'm about to turn 30 and my body's betraying me. I got a corn allergy.
I didn't even know what this was. I got a corn. It's like a blister. It's like a bunch of callus that like builds up. It could be under your feet or in between your toes. And mine is so gross.
girls it's in between my pinky toe and the one next to it because of genetics my toes curl into each other the outside ones and probably me shoving my feet in little heels my whole life dancing a ton like yeah like all this pop star crap I'm like I'm wearing sneakers on this tour so get ready um I I
But I got it when I was pregnant in Australia doing Australian Idol and I was wearing heels while pregnant. So it was just like too much friction, too much blah, blah, blah. And it hurts so bad. Hurts like nerve pain. And you can't like pop it. You got to like carve it down. It's like a weird way to treat it. But I still have it.
And I played pickleball the other day and it got infected and started all this sciatica problems because I'm walking funny. I swear, I'm like, my body is just falling apart. But once I figure all this out between my poop and my corn and my sciatica, I'm going to be an athlete and nothing will stop me. Well, I'm an athlete. I'm a pickleball athlete. I recently won a gold medal playing pickleball with my husband. Oh, good.
Yeah. And so I know, like your plight, you've got to get your IBS under control, you got to get that corn off your foot, because there's nothing more rewarding. I don't even think global superstardom, you know, packed arenas could even compare to my little pickleball tournament that when I won that gold medal.
Megan, like you have not peaked. You are still going up, up, up. I know. Do you take pickleball lessons? Do you have an instructor? Do you have a coach? How serious are you? No, I have my husband and we play with, and we're not even doing the rules right. Recently we did, we were playing like in our backyard. We have like a nice, nice little court and we play pickleball.
And recently, Katy Perry did a charity event for her Firework Foundation. And we went and played pickleball. And I was like, okay, it's going to be celebrities. It's going to be chill. We're all having fun playing pickleball. No. No. These people were athletes. Daryl and I were the worst couple there. Literally, our first game in the tournament was 0-15. Yeah.
The score girl, the score girl said, what? Listen, ma'am, we're doing our absolute best. I was like, I write songs. I'm not supposed to be here. Yeah. This is our good cause. What is this? We got demolished. So I blame my corn, but I also blame that we've never had lessons and we didn't even know the rules. Like they were telling us like, okay, now you come up. And I was like, Oh,
Let me ask you this. Was Katy Perry good at pickleball? She didn't even play when I was there because she had the air horn and she was just like making announcements like, OK, up next week, you know, right, right. But apparently she played. I didn't even watch. But her brother plays and he's a beast. Yeah, they were all very competitive. I actually played her mom and her mom killed me. Yeah. Her mother. Yeah. Yeah.
That's the scary thing about pickleball because you can see your opponent across the court and you think, oh, they're 25, 30 years older than me and I'm going to completely take them down. And I got my ass beat, Megan, by two 70-year-olds. They pounded me and my partner. It was one morning. It was a crisp morning and we went to the pickleball courts and I thought, oh, this is going to be bad. This is going to be elder abuse. Yeah.
got pounded. I mean, these people absolutely handed my partner and I our asses. Yeah, dude, that's what I thought about sweet Katy Perry's mom, Mary. I was like, at least we'll beat her. No, she never missed a serve. She was so good. I was like, no, Mary. Okay, let me ask you this. One thing that we have really taken a stand on is
our gender reveal parties. And it was brought to my attention that you had a gender reveal party. So will you explain yourself to pumps and me and to our listeners, what was going on? What were you thinking? I want to know the psychology behind it. Help us understand this. Okay. First of all, these are false allegations. Second of all, I, I like never had a,
what's it called? I don't even know what it's called. Let's go. It's a baby shower. I've never had a baby shower to my kids. My gender reveal was me filming my family when I said, one, two, three, it's a boy. That was it. Okay. Because that's fair. Come on. They got to find out eventually. That's totally fair.
That's all I did. And I did one, you know what I did? I did both of them at home like that, but I did for the public and all the fans. I went on Kelly Clarkson and I was like, Kelly, you tell them. And we did like a nice sweet surprise there. So that, that was fun, but that's about it. I'm not like shooting off fireworks in a field. You know what I mean? Cause that's absurd. Not an airplane. Okay. All right. All right. I think we can let all of this slide. No, I think that's about normal. Okay. Another red flag in our research of you is I read that you want to homeschool your
your kids. And Pumps and I always red flag homeschoolers. Yeah. What's going on there? You're not weird at all. What's going on? Explain to us, what's the mindset behind homeschooling? I'm not weird. I'm not weird. Therefore, my kids won't be weird. Do you want to be with your kids that much in one day? Well...
Yes. I miss them when they're gone. And yeah, my sweet little boy. You know, like in COVID, they started doing pods. Yeah. That's like what I do. Yeah. Or like little kids now, they can do little pods or they get together for a few hours. My kid's two. He's like not even a
school. But that's what we do a couple of times a week. We have all these cute little kids come over and play at my house and these little pods and they all learn how to do fun things. And it's the cutest thing to watch. And I'm like, yes, you can stay here forever. So what about when he's around like 10, 12, 13, 14? Do you still think you'll homeschool then?
Probably if I can. Yeah. Because also me and my, my husband and I have weird jobs where we're going to be like on the road for three months and like taking, taking a kid out of a school and trying to explain that to a teacher of like, Hey, can you give him work for like three months? Yeah. Yeah. That makes sense.
I know it's just going to be so hard to take our kids whenever we want, like, and not disrupt their schedule and their class. And if I am lucky enough to like afford a teacher to come with us on the road, like I'll probably do that. So here's something I think that needs to be pointed out. So we live in Oklahoma City, which is the buckle of the Bible belt. And typically homeschooling is like, you immediately know that this is like
Bible thumper education where like they're teaching that dinosaurs and man lived on the earth at the same time. And but I think in Los Angeles, where you live, a lot of people in your position, take their kids on the road with them so that they can be active parents and homeschooling is different on the coast than it is here. Because when pumps and I hear homeschooling,
homeschooling, we immediately think, oh my God, these kids are going to be so fucked up. But you're right. When like Roger, I'm a big tennis fan and Roger Federer is a huge, I mean, obviously it was one of the biggest tennis stars ever. And they took their kids on the road with him when he played tournaments and had a teacher travel with them. So you're not going to be the one doing the teaching. Is that what people think? Yes. That's what we think. Yeah.
But we have smart enough to do that. See, I had to get my kids a tutor in fifth grade. So I was like, there's no way I'd be smart enough to teach high school math. Never.
no i can't teach them i can barely teach them now i'm like help what do i say no no yeah yeah that's why i'm like if i'm lucky enough to afford like a teacher to come with us or like um have a babysitter on hand to teach them like while we while we travel everywhere that would that's the dream that's what i'm trying to do i can't teach math but i can teach emotions i can teach let's be
Talk about it. That's sweet. I liked your TikTok. You're so fun. I love all the just the dancing. I love the videos with your kids. I mean, you can tell that you have a very happy household and that you're really enjoying your kids being young. And I think it's really great because sometimes it can be so overwhelming when you have kids that young. Oh, I just...
I'm sorry. I just said out loud that I've never been happier in my life, but I've also never cried so much. Yeah, that's it. It's exactly it.
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Pops, I am so thankful that this holiday season, you and I smell as fresh as daisies. Thanks to our friends at Lume. I absolutely use it every day. I love it after workout straight into the studio. I don't have to worry about smelling. Now I'm also using the all over body deodorant. It is the best. I've even got my mom using it.
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Okay, Megan, now I have to ask you, so, you know, we're just calling you out here left, right? The next thing, alarming thing that I found in my research of you. Why are these all my red flags? I know, I know we have to get to the bottom of it.
I read, I think it was your Wikipedia page and you can defend yourself that you've never voted and don't have any intention of voting. What? No, that's old shit. Wikipedia is wrong. Guys, I'm so glad because I like you so much. I do too. I'm so relieved. Okay. Because you stand in line with all the stuff. No, I wrote a song. If you want to see a change, go vote, go vote. He's someone.
Go vote. You know what I'm saying? Like, yeah, I always promote every year. I'm like, you got to vote. You got to say something. Back in the day when I was like 18, I didn't know what I was doing. And I didn't, I was uneducated. And I was like, well, I don't know how to vote. What do I do? Like, and that's, I see the younger generation. And I'm like, hey, I didn't know what was happening.
happening. Let me help you. I'm so happy to hear that because I read what your political beliefs were because we're very outspoken in support of the LGBTQIA plus community. And we're very progressive and everything that we stand for that we platform, you do too. And I want to commend you for having such a large audience.
and not being scared to, because I don't see those issues as political. I see them as moral. And it's the morally correct thing to do. And I'm so happy that you just so brazenly and outspokenly say, this is what I stand for. Fuck the guns. Let's support the gays.
it's a scary place. And I want to teach them that like, you can accept everyone who they love. Doesn't like, doesn't matter. People are people. We're all the same. And I like the, I wrote a song a week after my C-section, my second one. And because I was so like,
It's called forget how to love. And I'm like, are we all just like forgetting how to love? Because there's so much hate and I can't tell if it's always been there and it's just louder now because there's more social media or if it's getting worse. Like I'm asking everyone, I'm like, is this always been, this is the hate. Has it always been this loud or is it getting worse? And it's just a spooky world. And I just want to teach so much love in my home. Yeah. Yeah.
There's no question. Stop looking at my Wikipedia. I'm sorry. I know. I'm not a journalist. I'm just a D-list podcaster. Anyway, I allowed you to correct the record of your Wikipedia page right here on this chart-topping podcast of ours. I know it's not the New York Times, but close, Megan. I was just going to ask, and this is kind of random, but ever since you've been coming on the pod, I was like,
Did you know when you wrote All About That Bass that every single person in the entire world would have that going through their head at all times? Like I will be vacuuming and it will pop into my head while I'm listening to a podcast. I can't make it stop. So did you know it was going to be like that? No.
No, I, it was actually like one of my least favorite songs on my roster. Yeah. I had so many songs as a songwriter and that was just like one of them. And I, it was like unproduced. I thought like it, there was no auto tune. There was nothing. It was raw. It was a demo. And so.
To have a label freak out over this one song. I was like, this is the one? This is my parents. Like the bass one, the one that you're like, oh, I was like, yeah, that's the one they're freaking out over. I guess we got to do this one. And I just wanted a record deal so bad. I was like, okay, they really liked the song. Let's do it. I've always wanted a record deal. And then it came out and I still didn't get it. And then it was everywhere. And I was like, oh, what's going on? Like shocked.
And then one day I was, we went to the dump on Nantucket. Could you bring your trash to the dump? It's really cute. And it was the summer and I heard something on the radio and I was like, yo, what's this banger? And I turned it up and it was bass. And I was like, oh my God, that's what they're hearing. I get it. And it took me that long. I was so shocked when, when did that come out? Like 2015 or 2016? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like it just came out last year. Yeah.
Yeah. When I saw that, I was like, we've had that song for that long. I felt like it was still so fresh and new. My life is crazy still. And that's my baby. That's my first, that's like the reason every, all of this has happened. So it's, it's my first born and I,
I can't ever think it enough. I look, I'm in my glam room that has like, like my book is on the wall. I have a book. What? What is my life? It's crazy. All because of that song. It's amazing though. I mean, it's a great song and anything that lasts 10 years that people still know all the words to, but a lot of your songs are like that. I love, I think my best skill, I think in life is writing something catchy that like won't leave your head. I have like,
I have a lot of fathers come up to me and they go, you, you were in my dreams last night. And I'm like, okay, get out of my head. I'm like, you hug them. So true. Okay, Megan, now we're going to play a game with you called had it or hit it. Okay. I'm going to list some things and you tell us if you've had it with it or if you will hit it. Oh my God. Welcome to had it or hit it. I would hit it. Had it.
I hit it every day, sometimes twice a day. All right. Had it or hit it. Mega churches. Mega church. Had it. You say mega? Wait, I'm figuring it out. Mega. Mega. Mega churches. You probably didn't have these in Massachusetts where you grew up, but where we live. I don't. I'm learning that there's things I don't know. I didn't know what a hair straightener was for a long time. That's a whole other thing. Okay. Thanks. All right.
Had it or hid it, power moms. Power moms? What's a power mom? Okay, a power mom is...
When you drop your kid off at school and then you through the carpool line and you leave and you go home and then there's a mom that drops the kid off at school and then they go park their car and then their homeroom mom and they're like helicoptering all over the school all the time and they have like hyper organized play dates. Kind of thinking maybe you could possibly kind of be a power mom. Would you bake cookies and take them up to school all the time? You're making it sound negative, but I love that.
I'm kind of thinking you are one. I dream to be a power mom. I hope I could be a power mom someday. When you described wanting to be around your kids all the time, I was like, I think she might be a power mom. But see, you'd be a cool power mom because you're cool.
And you're Megan fucking trainer. Yeah. Thank you so much for saying that. Yeah. Hit it. Hit it. Hit it. Hit it. Jesus. Okay. All right. Had it or hit it. Get ready with me on TikTok or Instagram. No, I always scroll away. Had it. I can't figure it out. I've had it too. I just don't understand it. If they're giving a makeup tutorial, I'm in.
But if it's just yak mouth about your day while you put on makeup, I'm like, why do I care? I don't. Yeah, I know. I'm like, oh, I'm sorry. I just don't care enough for this. Bye. I feel bad. Sometimes I'll give a heart just to be like, sorry, and then leave. Okay. Hat it or hit it. Skinny bitches. Hey, I got in so much trouble for that line. Um,
I love all shapes and sizes, skinny, whatever you want. Yes. I love it. I hit it. Hit the. So, you know, saying that you got, you get in trouble for when you're, when you are a global superstar like you, you can say, especially if you, you have a podcast, right? And so you're podcasting, you're on Tik TOK and you're on Instagram all the time.
We say so much crazy shit all the time and we can maybe kind of get – we're D-list podcasters. So we might get a little bit of keyboard warriors in the comment section. Whereas you, if you say something when you're in the zone talking to people like I read that you had recently said that you hated teachers or not hated teachers. Fuck the teachers. Yeah.
Which obviously, obviously you don't feel that way. You value education. And, but when you're Megan trainer and you say something like that bullshitting with your friend, like we're bullshitting here, then you become a cartoon character version of yourself. When all you're doing is shit talking. Like I might say, Oh my God, fuck the cats.
And Pumps is like, I'm fucking anti-cat. Well, if she was a global superstar, it could be like magnified to this thing where it's such a bigger deal than what it really is when it's just conversational shit talking. Then you have to go on an apology tour, right? I didn't know. I always forget that I'm famous. You know what I mean? I always forget. Yeah.
I forget people are listening. I forget people care. And we were talking about one teacher that was horrific to her and treated her terribly. And I said, yeah, fuck teachers. And everyone took that on the Internet, that clip, and said, she hates teachers. And I was like, oh, like, I fucking I love teachers. I've supported them so much. I did campaigns with them.
I've done so many donations. They have the hardest job ever. And so when I was like, oh my God, every teacher hates me and thinks that I hate them. I cried every night and was just like, that was...
So dumb that it slipped out my mouth like that. And now the whole world, I thought people were going to like spit on me in the streets and like attack me. And I was pregnant. I was very pregnant. I had pregnant brain and I was, it was a really dark time for me.
And but yeah, it's magnified times bajillion for me. And I forgot. So when it hit me and all the comments were like, go die. I was like crumbling, crying, shaking to sleep every night. And it took a while to get over. But it showed me again, like, oh, I have this I have a platform, I guess, with all this where like where I am in my career. And there are many people listening. So I'm not going to slip up and I'm not going to have my Wikipedia say I don't vote because that's just not who I am.
Not what I believe in. And I adore teachers. I have, I'm lucky enough that I have a teacher come over and help teach my kids. And when that happened, do you know how embarrassing and devastated I was? And was like, I just wanted to know that I love you so much. And I love all of you. And she was like, oh my God, please stop. Like, you're okay. Well, it's kind of out of context too. Like you're saying one teacher to a friend, fuck them. And then, yeah, I can see where that would get worse.
way snowball away. I can tell you're a very socially just person and on the right side of history and care passionately about your family, your team, your friends, the people in your community. And I bet that was really devastating. And when I was pregnant, I cried all the fucking time because of the hormones. And to get doxxed on the internet during your pregnancy, I bet that was very
And so do you, when you speak since that, do you, are you more cognizant? Because Pumps and I, it's amazing that we haven't gotten in more trouble because we say much worse shit than that. And of course, obviously people clamor on to that one thing that you said completely out of context. And it seems that people don't really want that.
to hear the truth. Like you'd be like, Oh my God, I was just shit talking with a friend. Of course I love teachers. They want to marry you and pin you down that, you know, Megan trainer is anti-education and they go, you know, off the rails. And it just seems like people can't accept that.
the reality of what it is. Like I was shit talking teacher was mean to her kid. That's all I said. We moved on. It was, I didn't even think anything of it until everybody blew up. It's good to my position to like, um, be more aware and focus. And, uh, you forget that because you're human, you know? And, and so it's, it was a good wake up call of like, Hey, a lot of people are listening and don't slip up. And, but it is, it was, um,
It was dark, man. It got really dark. I was really pregnant. And I, it was, I just felt so bad if I hurt someone, you know, if I made someone feel bad, if I made. It's who had the, so I just felt like I've made someone feel bad. I want to fucking like, I don't feel good. And I was like, I've never felt like, oh, I want to disappear right now. I want to be like taken away. So, but it took therapy and time. And then, and I, I,
Yeah, I try to focus on just trying to be all promote love, all love. But I do. I get sweaty in interviews. I get nervous. I just it's my biggest fear to hurt someone, you know? Yeah.
I can tell from your TikTok and Instagram that you're very like your happiness and promoting of love definitely comes across. I did a whole deep dive and I was like, you're just fun. You don't, I mean, you can, there's not, Pumps and I can be kind of mean spirited. The name of our podcast is I've had it. What you said was more on brand was something we would say. Yeah.
Because when I watched your, I was like, Oh my gosh, she's so happy and carefree. And you're very self deprecating. You laugh at yourself and you have a very infectious feed. It's like, it put me in a good mood watching it. Okay. Anyway, let's move on. Had it or hit it. The sandwiches of a drag queen. Oh my God. You guys, it was debunked. Stop Googling me. Um,
Yeah. The beautiful drag queen who started that rumor that I ate their sandwich came out and said that was a lie. So I've had it. I ate sandwiches because I never ate it. Okay, listener, this is how stupid the internet is. And I think this is a funny example. So we're Googling you and there's this. This like rattled. This like shook up my career. This little. Did it really? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
So some drag queen on RuPaul's Drag Race, is that what it was, Megan? Claimed that Meganator sandwich. Big fucking deal. That's what I thought. I mean, who cares? First of all, I don't go where their food is. I brought my own snacks. I brought my own lunch. I'm like in my own green room. I was like, what? That's ridiculous. But yeah, I would never eat someone's sandwich. I'd be way too scared. Yeah.
Especially now. So were you a judge on RuPaul's Drag Race? Yeah. See, that's. Yeah, I was a judge. And yeah, I didn't even go back there. Yeah. Was that the most fun on the planet to be a judge for RuPaul's Drag Race? Yes.
Yeah. I was like, how am I here? Why am I here? I was on tour. I was exhausted. And I was like, this is the coolest thing ever. Yeah. That'd be like a dream come true. I mean, that's amazing to be in the room with all that talent would just be like so exciting. I think that would be like peak life to be a judge on RuPaul's drag race. So kudos to you, even though you eat all the drag queen sandwiches, just quit eating the drag queen sandwiches, Megan. Go vote. And yeah,
Quit eating drag queen sandwiches. We're on to you. I'll stop. Got it.
Oh my God. Okay. You two will both be judges on that show though. I know it's someday. It's our dream. All right. Megan Trainor, I'm so happy that we cleared the record. You love teachers. You're an advocate of voting. You do not eat the sandwiches of drag queens. You are gorgeous and incredible. Power mom. Power mom. Lovely in every way. Had a very mild, perfectly normal gender reveal party. And this has cleared up so much.
and I think you can now be a citizen of Asshole Island. Y'all almost hated me in the beginning of this. No, we didn't at all. Okay. I'm so glad I could clear up my name. Thank you so much for helping me. I'm glad we can be lovers now. No, I was like, these are all the things you thought of me. Awesome. Thank you so much.
You know what, Megan, if I am one thing, I'm a record corrector. That's what I am. That's what you do. That's what I do. That's what I do. Megan, thank you so much for joining us. This is like a total dream. You are your songs make everybody happy. Your TikTok and your Instagram are pure joy. And we hope that you have
a great sleep tonight and great poops. And I hope you get that gas under control for your sex life and for your husband. Yes. Thank you so much because it's been, yeah, it's been different. Thanks so much for coming on. Great meeting you. Thanks for having us. We love you so much. We love you so much. Thanks Megan. Bye. Bye.
Well, Pumps, I think that that's going to be, that's really insightful for you on the IBS. No, I'm talking about how to handle superstardom. You are so ridiculous. I want to scream. Kylie. Zip it. Kylie. Do not respond to her. Kylie. Ignore her. Kylie. Ignore her. I'm legally not allowed to ignore her. That's right. Oh, yeah. I hate everyone in this room except for myself.
Now, Meghan Trainor, that's pretty cool. She's the coolest. And she's sweet. I love how like every single nugget that Kylie and I found, we were researching her, all not true. None of it's true. Yeah. And that just shows you like how when – what a microscope somebody like that is put under. The pressure. You know, just like –
You cannot even loosely say something. I felt really bad for her that she felt so bad. Just slip of the tongue. Right. And nothing burger. And then, you know, it's all of a sudden she's this face of something. And I felt really bad, especially when you're pregnant. And everything's just magnified by a thousand. And you can tell by talking to her for four to five minutes that she's a very compassionate. Empathetic. Yes. Doesn't want to hurt anybody's feelings. No, she's precious. So pretty too. Very pretty. Great skin.
Very, very, very pretty. Yeah. So I feel pretty cool. I have to tell you. You know what, Pumps? That's what we do here at our podcast. We're just here to help your star be cooler, shine a little brighter each and every episode. You're going to have to work harder. Lots harder. All right, listener. Thank you for joining us. Please give us a five-star review for Pumps and Pumps Alone.
And send us a voice memo on Instagram. Join us on Patreon for extra content. And check out our link in bio to come see us at a city near you on the Hot Shit Tour Pumps. Tell them. We will see you next Tuesday or Thursday or both.
Sometime in the early 80s, REO Speedwagon's airplane made an unannounced middle-of-the-night landing. This is my friend Kyle McLaughlin, the star of Twin Peaks. And he's telling me about how he discovered a real-life Twin Peaks in rural North Carolina, not far from where he filmed Blue Velvet. What was on the plane was copious amounts of drugs coming in from South America. Supposedly, Pablo Escobar went looking for other spots, quiet, out-of-the-way places to bring in his cocaine.
My name is Joshua Davis, and I'm an investigative reporter. Kyle and I talk all the time about the strange things we come across, but nothing was quite as strange as what we found in Varnumtown, North Carolina. There's crooked cops, brother against brother. Everyone's got a story to tell, but does the truth even exist? Welcome to Varnumtown. Varnumtown is available wherever you listen to podcasts.