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I also do only f*** on the side too. What are you actually making f*** a thousand or were you just having one special donor? Oh, that's a good question. Oh, come the f*** up. No, I really try to do everything for myself. No, you're not. That's a load of bulls***. You rely on your girlfriend's mommy. No.
That is you trying to get out of being pushed back on. Don't f*** with me with your trying. Download my new Simpler Budget app today and take control of your money once and for all. And as an extra limited only bonus, I will give you a signed version of my budget-friendly cookbook for free when you sign up for Simpler Budget Premium Annual. Hey, my name is Anastasia. I am 28 years old. I'm from Los Angeles, California, and this is Financial Audit.
Thanks for coming in from LA. I don't think we've had someone from LA on this show. That's crazy. There's a lot of crazy people there. So yeah, it's going to be very interesting to see what that means in this situation. Yeah.
What do you do there for a living? So I work for Golden State Water Company. It's kind of an office job. So I work in the low income department. So I'm kind of dealing with the people who are trying to get that low income discount. So I send them the application. I make 26 an hour. 26, but in Los Angeles, that's the hard part. Yeah. One of the more expensive cities. How many hours a week do you work? About 30 right now.
How are you surviving? I'm just glad I just hit that out of the gate. 30 hours a week in LA. How are you surviving? Are you surviving? Barely. I'm barely surviving because I am right now currently apprenticing for a dog groomer. That's kind of where I'm trying to go to after the office job. Do you need a license for that? Not yet.
As far as I know. What's the apprenticing for? Do you not have the necessary experience for it yet? Yeah, I don't have any experience for it. So I went to my mom's groomer and she said that I could apprentice with her because I just asked. And she was like, yeah, if you can come in, but that kind of takes up a lot of my time and it doesn't pay. So basically... There's no pay for the apprenticeship? No. How much time? I don't know.
So have you cut your hours down to 30? Yeah, I have cut my hours down. You did that by choice. Okay. How much time are we spending on this grooming? So I'll come in after work. Then why can't you work 40 hours a week and still go in after work? Because for the grooming, it's like a 12 hour day. So right now what I'm doing is I'm working- How many hours grooming? 8 a.m. to- No, a week. How many hours a week grooming an apprentice? Like 12. 12.
12 hours because it's one day. Honestly, work five days a week and do the grooming on a weekend. Yeah, that's what I do. That's what I do. But how are you at 30 hours a week? Because I only work part time during the week because... Why then? The grooming's not on that day. Right. But that doesn't make any sense then. Right. But I want to go home. Yeah.
I want to go home. After the job, I get tired and I want to go home. Yeah. Can you pay for the home? Yeah, I can because I have help with my roommate, my girlfriend. So I... Oh, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend? Yeah, girlfriend, girlfriend. Girlfriend, girlfriend. Okay. So that helps split the rent and utilities and potentially groceries and stuff. Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. Just girlfriend though, not marriage. No, not marriage. Okay. Is that in the horizon? Yeah.
I would like for it to be. I don't think so. Well, then if one doesn't think so, then probably not. Yeah. So when you're saying barely surviving, what's going on? What are we talking about? So barely surviving. So our rent is about $1,500 split. So we each pay about $800 a month. Not bad at all. Is that a shit place? No, it actually belongs to my girlfriend's mom.
So you're subsidized by wealthier parents. Yeah, she owns the condo. So that's why you're allowed to work 30 hours a week because I want to go home because someone else is subsidizing your lifestyle. You would not be able to do that on your own. That's why I pushed back a little at the beginning. You wouldn't be able to do that. Right. But you are because of that. And you know what? That is what it is. Yeah. It is what it is.
So I guess I can be okay with that as long as it's not enabling a bad lifestyle. I don't think it is. You are still putting in 40 hours a week. Some of it's just the apprenticeship. So I am okay with that. Good. I'm glad you're good. Just talking through it. Yeah.
When are you going to be in the grooming of the dog world? I'm hoping by summer because right now I usually take off a little bit of time during the summer. So my income is not completely consistent because I'll do... How much time do you take off? Well, I work remote because I'll go visit my relatives in New Jersey. Cool. And work remote in New Jersey. I'm confused. Yeah. So the remote part of it, it takes off some of the hours. Okay.
How much time do you take off in the summer? Like two months. Because we still got to pay for bills. Yeah. Paid time off? Not paid time off, no. Two months? You lose two months, but you're barely making it, and you lose two months? Mm-hmm. I've had savings. Out of a 12-month year, you lose two months? Yeah. I've had savings the past few years, and I'll Instacart. So I Instacart typically when I'm in New Jersey. How does the girlfriend feel that...
About the situation, the fact is that you're able to take two months off and 30 hours a week is your work, paid work, because her mom subsidizes life. I mean, it's hard because she does the same thing because she works in a different field than I do, but they have summers off.
So she is able to take that time off. So then I... She has summers off. Yeah. She's not taking the time off. She has summers off. Right. Right. So I mean... No, but what about your guys' relationship with money then? I mean, it's not the best. What?
That's kind of our thing that we're going through right now is like our finances are not totally aligned. How long have you guys been together? Three and a half years. Well, it's not aligned because, yeah, we would be definitely trying to minimum get aligned by then. Yeah. So I just have way more bills than she does.
So I have my car. I have my credit cards. You're talking about debts. Yeah, debts, yes. But she only pays rent. Today's sponsor, Aura, exists because companies treat your personal data like a free sample at Costco, just handing it out to whoever walks by. Bank of America recently had a breach, and they just didn't tell anyone for months. The average company takes 277 days to report a breach.
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Because the only thing most of these companies are going to do to help you is offer you free credit monitoring. And free credit monitoring after the fact? That's like installing security cameras after your house was already robbed. I am not rolling the dice with my identity. Why are you? Well, why would she want to get married with someone who's bringing in a bunch more bills? I mean... What do you mean you're not aligned with money? You said just more bills. That's not not being aligned with money. Yeah. There has to be something more.
So, I mean, she makes less than I do. So really what we are is we are two separate entities when it comes to finances. The only thing that we share financially- Yeah, and I want to know how you guys are not aligned because I just hear a mathematical difference. Aligned is usually a mental thing. Oh, well, I mean, yeah, no, we're fine. I'm kind of on her about it. She's not on me about it. What are you on her about if she's the one not in debt? I mean, because she'll still have-
when it's harder for her and I'll have to help with the money. You're in debt, but you have to help her, but her mom is helping you. Yeah. This is a weird triangle of confusion money. Yeah, it is. She's younger than I am, so I... How much younger? She's 26. Oh, no, a baby. Yeah, no. That's not even...
Why does that even matter? It doesn't. You're right. I just feel like I... Then why? I feel like that is kind of almost an enablement of her, a justification of her being able to just slack. Yeah, and I mean, I definitely... What does she make? She makes $25 an hour. How many hours a week? 30. You're trying to make it sound like some massive substantial difference. It's a dollar. Yeah. A dollar. Yeah.
What are we talking about? What are we talking about here? Okay, no. Yeah, let's talk about what are we talking about here? What is going on? What is going on? So, well, okay, here, let's go back to this. Where would you like to start from again?
Relationship, like where we are financially, like where would you like to start again from? Because I feel like we should just like come back. I'm just asking you what are we talking about today? What is your situation that we are talking about today? Oh, I mean, I've got debt. I want to move out of this job. I want a different job. Okay, and it's the grooming. Yeah.
How many hours a week is the grooming going to be? Well, the grooming, I think it would end up being five days a week, but it's not an hourly pay. It's a- Per job? Per dog, yeah. Are you going to have to do side hustles? Is this going to be- It's like $100 per dog, so they get in six or seven dogs a day. Yeah, but-
Are you working for a company or are you on your own? No, it's for an independent owner. Yeah, I was going to say because you would have to focus on the whole recruiting part and everything. Yeah, you're going to have to rely on someone else to bring in. You're going to be an employee. And you're going to be able to sustain yourself with that? Yeah, I mean, I also do only on the side too for a little bit of extra income. Is that what pushes you over to be able to pay the bills?
Not really. I mean, it's kind of gone down a little bit for you or for everyone. I mean, I don't know about everybody else, but for me, because I had a whole ordeal with like an only agency where they kind of like trashed my account. So I mean, OK, so I started only back. Here's the L.A. part. Yeah, this makes more sense. So I started only back in August.
And I had the help of my friend who was working for an only agency. So she actually always told me, don't go to an agency. Oh, good. Yeah. Then let's go to an agency. If one of our close friends works for one that says don't. Yeah. So...
What happened was I ended up making like 10K that first month and I was like, oh, well, this is fantastic income. So then it started going down. My friend didn't want to really help me as much anymore. So it was kind of on my own at that point.
And I was like, well, I don't want to do this on my own. So that's why I went to an agency because I was already giving like her a cut and my other friend a cut to kind of help me with the account. So I was like, I mean, if they're not helping me, like it's not going to be any real difference. Like I was already giving a percentage away. So I was like, if I join an agency and they kind of help me run the account, then it's basically the same thing. It's just not my friends.
So in December, I decided to go with the first agency. Didn't work out because they were really bad at communicating and they were taking about, they were taking 35% of what I was making, but they weren't really doing anything. So that's when my
from that started to go down a little bit. What are they supposed to be doing? They're supposed to be marketing and promoting and running the account, like chatting and stuff. So all they were basically doing was chatting. And so, I mean, I thought they were going to help me with the promotion, which would get the traffic in, but then they weren't bringing traffic in, so they weren't really making money. What's a chatter? A chatter, so typically it's someone...
When it's a part of an agency, a lot of the time it's someone from overseas who is chatting, pretending to be you. So they're talking to... So a dude's getting off to an Indian dude. Yeah. Indian or...
I think a lot of the time they're from the Philippines. I've heard that a lot. I don't know, because they never let me talk to the chatters. So I... You can't talk to the people doing your own inbox. Nope. Okay. Sorry, go on. So I ended up ending it with that agency. I found another one that was like, I'm going to make you so much money. I'm going to make you like 30K within the first two months. And like...
I mean, I took it with a grain of salt, but I was like, okay, well, hopefully these people have it a little bit more under control than the last people did. And he was better at talking to me. All of a sudden, though, then he stopped talking to me, too. And then he called me and was like, hey. He is an agency? Yeah. So I only spoke to one person. I only spoke to one person. Yeah. Okay. My judgment, I don't know. I couldn't tell you about my better judgment, but...
So he ended up calling me one day and said, our office caught on fire. So we're not able to support you anymore. We're going to send you over to another agency. And so then now I'm on my third agency and this agency, they ended up
It was one main guy in charge of it. And then I had like a team. So this was the first time that I had like a full team that I was like talking to, like a social media person and the CEO and just like the person who was in charge of chatting. So the communication was better, but they still weren't really making me money. Like they weren't promoting me. They ended up like, so...
So I have like an alias on OnlyF*** and so... Fake name? Yeah, I have a fake name on OnlyF***. Okay. And they ended up sending out a shout out, the only shout out that they ever sent and they sent out like my actual name. So... Oh, okay. Yeah. So I told them, hey, like I need you guys to take that down and...
It was up for like maybe an hour and a half, I think. So it wasn't up for that long, but it was up long enough that like there were people who saw it. So then they took that down. After that, they really like weren't really talking to me. Like I was like, hey, like, do you guys need anything from me? And. What were you making? So I was making $2,000 with them.
Before I even joined with agencies, I was making like $5,000 a month. What the fuck are you doing? Okay. So then I joined the agencies and they got me like $2,000, $1,000. It really shot it down a lot. At one point...
There was a guy who messaged in the inbox and was like, hi, so-and-so, and used my real name. And the chatter was like, oh, hi. Didn't shut it down at all. And then the guy was like,
You're so easy to find on the internet. Like you're, you're so actually easy to like find. And the chatter totally just was like egging it on. He was like, Hey, how would you like it if I took your photos for you and helped promo you on another site? And the chatter said, yeah, that'd be cool. And no one talks to me about it. No one got my permission to do that. Like he had like my
Like, he was ready to post, like, everything real about me on this random site. And so then he did. And the company, the agency that I was with, they didn't tell me. All they did was they blocked the guy. And then they... Is this a long-winded way of saying you don't make that much right now? It is, but... How much do you make, what? No, I want to finish the story. So, um...
What happened after that night lost my train of thought. So where did I leave off? A dude posted boobies online. You guys got it taken down. Yes, it got taken down two days later. What they did was they blocked the guy and they removed the chat and then they tried to pretend like it didn't happen.
And so I tried to get a lawyer. Notoriously good. OF agencies. That's who we should trust. Okay. Yeah. Listen, I thought they were going to make me money, but they didn't. So I tried to get like a lawyer and everything involved and that didn't end up working out because lawyers are expensive. And so I never fully like, they just started ignoring me.
So then at this point, how much do you make a month off this? Off of this, nothing. They ruined my account. You do nothing? Yeah, they ruined my... Well, how long has it been since you've stopped using them? Like a month. Oh, very fresh. Okay. Yeah. Okay. I mean, are you posting? No. No.
You're not going to make money if you don't f***ing post. I know. I fell off of it because I was like... Well, yeah. I mean, you got f***ed by the agency. Yeah. And that kind of just turned me off to the whole thing. Do I want to keep doing it? Yeah, I do. Do you? Okay. Well, there you go. Then you do. I don't know. Yeah. I just like... I'm now so in the habit of not going on the account because people were on my account for so long that I just fell out of it. I can't believe I'm going to f***ing give a tutorial on how to do this. No, and I know. I know how to do it. But here's the thing.
It's a business. Yes. You got to produce the product for the business to work. Yes. You got to have a little bit of drive. I'm not even saying you should, but I'm just saying if it is your choice to do that, whatever. I don't give a consented adults, whatever. Yeah. Then effort. I know. Listen, you got Stu. How long were you in the two agencies combined? Wait, what? Both agencies combined. How long were you there? Like two or three months. Three months.
That whole thing was three months? Those two, both agencies? So you went from 5,000... If you have kids or pets, you know stains and odors in your carpet and upholstery are inevitable. But the experts at ChemDry can help. ChemDry removes odors and stubborn stains by sending millions of carbonating bubbles deep within your carpet. ChemDry lifts dirt, urine, and stains to the surface to then be extracted away, giving you a cleaner and healthier life.
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Yeah. And do you even want to? Are we trying to get into dog grooming? Is this going to impact our dog grooming career? I don't think it's going to impact the dog grooming career. I think that's a big reason why I want to go into it is because I'll have like the time for only at night and then I'll have the dog grooming in the daytime.
Okay, fine. Someone from LA, yes, okay. I don't think the dog groomer cares. Everyone's showing their tits in LA, I know. Everyone pays rent there, I guess. I mean, listen, there's the simple, if you're not doing it, you're not making money. I'm not going to encourage you doing that or disencourage. I don't give a... It's just weird in this situation, but it's like...
I'm not surprised. I mean, if you want to make money, then make money, dude. Right. Yeah. No. What are we doing? Yeah. I mean, I had one guy...
Who was a bigger spender, and now he's off of only $10,000. It really has just gotten to be a lot more work. How much of your $5,000 a month is from him? Oh, man. I think he's given me like $20,000. Okay, so were you actually making $5,000, or were you just having one special donor? Oh, that's a good question. Oh, come the fuck on. No, no, no, no. What are we doing? In the very, very beginning. What are we doing? In the very beginning, I— What's the very beginning? August. August.
September. August, September. Oh my gosh, this is three-fourths of a year ago. Yeah. So I had one person. Is this just you and your girlfriend? No, it's just me. Okay. Like on OnlyFans. Just like posting pictures? Yeah. Okay. I mean...
I had a guy who wanted it. So yes, yes. Yeah, sure. Yeah. Cause I made like 9k that first month. So nine or 10 K I can't remember, but most of that was from him, but I did have other people coming in. It wasn't just him, but now he's gone too. So now I really just don't have like, I just, it's kind of like working from the bottom up again.
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and finally take control of your financial future or don't. And you can end up right here. What? I have no sympathy. Yes, you have to do business. If you're going to make money, you have to actually do. If I don't film here and I do nothing, the business isn't going to make money. If you don't produce a product like a budget nap or something, the business isn't going to survive. Like what? What am I supposed to say to that? Okay, so now you make like what is your account on a monthly basis?
From OnlyFans? From everything. From everything. OF is zero? Yeah. So monthly for my job. Is this for 30 hours a week, right? Yeah. How much? What is your account? Like $2,500. Okay, great. $2,500. Let's say that. So nothing for LA. Yes, nothing for LA. You rely on your girlfriend's mommy. I mean. You rely on your girlfriend's mommy. No.
What? She subsidizes your living situation. You wouldn't be able to live in the city that you're in if it wasn't for mommy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, I mean, I feel like all she does is pay HOA.
Like, we're basically... She's just not making anything off of us. Yeah, but when did she get the house? I don't remember. Exactly. It's not that thing. If you paid market rent, you would be paying higher rent. It doesn't matter if you're covering the mortgage. Maybe she got the mortgage 20 years ago. I don't f***ing know. Yeah, okay. And is it just her mom? Yes. You look like a mommy's girl. Your mom doesn't provide any benefit to you? My mom? Yeah. Yeah, sometimes. Oh, pfft.
Oh, there you go. See what? What? What do you get from your mommy? This is a mommy household. Just funnel mommy. Mommy so I can play with boobies online. I love my mom. Like my mom's like, I love my mom too. She doesn't fund my lifestyle. She doesn't fund my lifestyle either. What does she give you? She gives me money for food sometimes.
And she helps with gas. That is funding your lifestyle because you have to eat in order to live. Yeah. So you being able to go spend money on all this other stuff because you don't have to pay for food because mommy pays for food. Yes, she is funding your lifestyle. What are you talking about? I mean, she gives me like $40 like every two weeks. It's still money. It's like Starbucks. Okay.
I really try to do everything for myself. I really do. Try, but then we get subsidized by girlfriend's mommy and then mommy pays for our bull. Okay. Yeah. I mean, I'm an only child. So I, it's just my mom and me. My dad's not here anymore. So it's just my mom and me. So she in Lakewood.
Is that a part of LA? Yeah, it's a part of LA. Not everyone's in LA. Not everyone knows what a Lakewood is. There's a Lakewood in every city, basically. That's true. So she's like 30 minutes for me. Good, okay. So she's aggressively spoiling you and not allowing you to grow up both moms. I mean... Where do you think your finances are 0-10? 0 being the worst, 10 being the best. Probably like a 2. Yeah. Yeah.
If you want your Hammer financial score, go to calebhammer.com or click the link in the description below. Take the assessment and see where you stand. And if you want to come on the show and you're from anywhere and do anything, apparently, you can go to calebhammer.com slash apply and we'd be happy to look at your application and have you down here in Austin, Texas where there's probably a Lakewood somewhere. Okay. All right. You guys have good rent here.
Yeah, better rent. Well, actually rent fell substantially because we actually allow people to build housing on unproductive cities like Los Angeles. Okay, above lending. What's going on here? What even is above lending? I don't know this account. That is my loan for all of the credit cards that I had. You consolidated? I did. I consolidated my debt back in... Let me guess where this is going to end.
Do you want to guess or can I keep going? Yeah, you still keep going. Okay, so I consolidated my debt back in November of 2023. I had a lot of credit cards. And so then in March, I think it's been a year, they had contacted me and they were like, oh, well, do you want us to...
just give you a loan to pay off the consolidation and then you can just pay off the loan. And I was like, yeah, that sounds much better because it ruined my credit score, like the consolidation and everything. So I... Okay. Yeah. So then this loan paid off
The consolidation. You're consolidating a consolidation of credit cards you couldn't control. Great. This is obviously shaping up to demonstrate that you are a very responsible person with money. Yeah, I mean, it started when I was 18. It always does. That's when you can get credit. Oh, look at me. I'm a unique 18-year-old. That's what happens with everyone. Sorry, I'm being a dick. No, I mean. That's what happens with everyone. Don't try to make that a unique situation. No. Sorry, go on.
So yeah, I got all of these credit cards. I think I had like five or six, all from ages 18 to 20. So they totally- - It is actually a lot to open in just those two years for what it's worth. - Yeah. I mean, I'm not saying I'm good with- - What were you doing?
I had like a Victoria's Secret credit card that I like blasted. I maxed out. Blasted? What is blasted? I don't know what blasted is. People in your industry, getting blasted is something different. I don't know. Anyway, so yeah, I maxed out that card. It all started there. That was my...
My opening to credit cards. Well, the rest of the credit cards. What were you doing? I was... Like max out open, max out open, max out open? Pretty much. What were you spending on? Were you actually working? Going to college? What were you doing? Because that is an insane amount of credit cards in just two years. I went to college for one year and then... Did you just put your life on a credit card? Yeah. Okay. I mean...
There were different uses for different credit cards, for sure. I think I got, because I had my Discover card and that was like a $10,000 limit. I don't know who thought that was a good idea. I think they wanted to give you $10,000 for you to spend $10,000 so they could charge 30% on that $10,000. Yeah. It was a product. Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. But yeah, so I don't remember exactly what I spent that on, but I'm almost positive. Was it probably just like unnecessary items like clothing and probably food came into there. I spent a lot on food because I don't. Okay. I just realized you're 28. Why did you start?
People sometimes like turn 18 immediately get on that OF train when it comes to agencies. Like those agencies just like wait. And then they're like, oh, 18. Yeah. You started decently late for someone. Why did you start so late? Like why randomly did you start this like literally becoming an online person working and diddling? Yeah.
So I had always kind of like, I don't think I knew about it when I was 18, but. I don't know if it existed when we were 18. Yeah. Oh, you. But. I'm two years old. Damn. I'm sorry. But I think it got to a point where my savings were like super duper low. Oh, see, that's what I don't like. I'm okay with going, doing whatever the fuck you want as long as it's not like harming someone else, which someone argued that it actually does. But either way. Yeah.
I'm okay with consenting adults doing consenting adult things. I don't like the fact that you got pulled to it out of desperation of finances, and yet you want to go back? Or do you feel financially desperate to need to go back? That's a fantastic question. Pulled back into it out of just needing money. Okay, so you don't actually want to go full boobie on the nippy on the display.
Not necessarily. It's not something. Don't let's get you away from it then. Yeah. I mean, I will help people do whatever they want to do. But if you want to get away from that, let's look away from that then. Mm hmm.
Yeah, I mean, ideally, it's not something I want to do forever. It's definitely like, it has its fun moments. It was fun when I was making money, but when I'm not, it's like... Well, yeah, I mean, it's always exhilarating something when you're making money, but do you want to be making money from flaps or money from shaving dogs? Shaving dogs. Yeah, so let's focus on that then. Yeah. Let's let that be the career track. Yeah.
I would rather that. See, that's something completely different. That is a different direction for the conversation. Because I'd rather get you away from that industry that can be very toxic and very exploitive as well. Yeah.
Okay, so consolidate for a consolidate. I mean, it's $15,508.33. This is unfortunately when you make these choices and being just stupid with our money, it pushes you into the dark corners like that. That's what I don't want you to do. What's the minimum they pay for this? What is the interest on this? Like, what is anything it doesn't say? Um...
So the minimum payment is $220 a month. It just automatically comes out of my account. Which is brutal for $2,500 a month is what we're making. Yeah. Okay. So what's the interest? So actually, no, but it's every two weeks. So altogether- $220 every two weeks? Yeah. Oh, this is a- Yeah. This is a for your $2,500. $2,500, that's 18%. Yeah. Yeah.
$440 a month. $440 a month. What is the interest? That I actually don't know. Come on. So they sold you? Who sold you? You got consolidated and then someone sold you? Yeah. Into a higher interest product probably? Probably. I don't know the interest. I'm going to be so honest with you. It's taken me a minute to even understand interest.
Like, it took me until I... 27.39%. You're not even saving money from a credit card. Yeah. Same kind of interest rate as a f***ing credit card. Yeah. So what was the intention here? Well, yeah, what was your desired intention here? Like, with the lend? Yes. Or the loan, I mean? Yes, what were you trying to do? I just wanted it to be one payment. I...
Can't do, I forget. I forget to make payments. Forget? Put it on auto pay. Yeah. Okay, you don't get to leave here just like everyone else is on the show without downloading the Simpler Budget app. If you can't...
Manage a single payment. You have to, at minimum, know where all your money is going on a monthly basis. It's literally automated. Interact with the community in there. It's people holding each other accountable. You get premium forever. You guys get a multi-week trial. And for those who sign up for the annual version, I'll sign you a signed copy of the cookbook and the simpler budget journal as well. I'll sign them both and send them directly to you.
But you do not leave until you sign up for that because the fact that you couldn't handle payments, you may have actually been saving more money. I don't know. We can figure out the math. But at that point, you just can't be responsible enough to handle accounts. Yeah.
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You save. Go to selectquote.com slash SpotifyPod today to get started. You can't be. Yeah. Because even if I get you on the Fizz card, which a lot of people do, I mean, even that, I mean, you're still going to have to make a payment. It doesn't allow you to spend what's over your checking account, but you still have to make a payment, and I can't trust you to do that.
I mean, I feel like if it's one payment, I'm good. If it's one- Yeah, but it's one for one and then you have another and then you have another. I mean, it just constantly becomes multiple one payments. Then you have a sh** ton of payments. Exactly. Yeah.
But it just feels better with it just being 220. I don't have to log into like Victoria's Secret and Michaels and Care Credit. And like it's so I have too many. It was overwhelming. This made it a little less overwhelming in my opinion. Yeah, but why did you consolidate the consolidate? I mean, it.
It seemed like, no, it seemed like a quicker, it seemed like a quicker thing. It would, I would be able to pay it off faster. Were you? I mean, I'm still paying it off. I mean, it's a 30% interest rate essentially. So yeah, I mean, we know what comes in. How much did you spend last month? Last month on...
Everything? Everything. Including debt? I want to say at least $3,000. At least. So you're okay with spending more money than you make? Probably because both mommies support you. Okay. It was also $5,672, so... $5,672? $5,672. Oh, that was my... Do you care? Oh, I absolutely care. Then why the f*** did you do it? I... Then why would you not know?
I just have a hard time managing. I have a hard time like. Why? Tell me how you manage. I don't. Like, I just like. Because we really care. I do. So we just don't. I mean, because like there are different areas in which I'm better at the money. What are you good at? I have like a savings account specifically for summer. Like how I said I. Yeah, maybe that pays.
Don't take some off, you turd. Okay. For fuck's sake. You... Okay. Okay. Okay. What else? What else? What else? I mean... What else? What else are we good at? You're only able to save up for fun, but you're not able to actually take... Pay off the bad. Okay. Yeah. What else? What are you good at? Um... Oh, come on. What? Well, now I'm second-guessing myself. Um... I mean, I think that I'm good... Like, I...
calculate everything that i'm gonna make every month i i calculate my hours and i try to like lay it out but that means nothing without knowing you're spending yeah that's that's my problem that's my problem with having a savings account is because i just constantly pull out of it it's not actually a savings account okay so what the so it's okay all right let's talk about something most people ignore your old 401k yep
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Michael's card. Michael's card. For fuck's sake, I've never even seen a Michael's card. Yeah, I had no idea that they had them. But that first purchase, I got 20% off because I got it. This is so stupid. Well, on your first purchase? Yeah. 20% off. Yeah! It was nice. Listen, you were at 286. You could have paid that off. I know. That was my full intention.
Not your full intention. Also, it would have probably happened. It's probably like a quarter intention. You made a minimum payment and then you just. Then I forgot to pay one. Allowed interest to accrue. Yeah. And I forgot to pay one. And then. What? I forgot to pay. When? Why? That is why I'm saying. Oh, for f*** sake. That is. Hey, hey. If you knew that and you had to consolidate for it, then why the f*** did you open this card? I. If you know this, you are self-admitting this flaw. Do it. When I know.
If I know I have Oreos in my house, I will slam them down. Oreos. Yeah. Why are you doing this? I just, I really, I really wanted something from Michael's and I just didn't want to spend. So buy it with your money. I didn't want to spend like my actual money. You only got 20%. But this is, this is because then you're having interest. Whatever 20% you've immediately lost. Yeah. Immediately lost. Because of the interest. Yeah.
Yeah, because of the interest. Yeah, but I just like, I figured it would be better. I like paying things off in increments later. That's why I like doing like Klarna and stuff. Wait, no you fucking don't because you can't manage your payments. What are you talking about? You do not like that. You objectively do not like that because you can't
You have admitted you are incapable of doing more payments than one. So how would it make sense to get in all these paying for us? Because you have to make those payments. I don't know if you know that. But you do have to actually pay them. Well, I need to turn on auto pay on that one. Yeah, on everything. Why don't you? Well, it is on my Clarnas and stuff. Like on my Clarna, my Affirm, and that. Those are auto payments.
For fuck's sake. There are just like things that I want and I don't necessarily need, but I want them. And that's what I put on the- And you want that more than getting out of debt. Because if that's so, okay, fine. We can call it. Because good. If that's the life you want to live, that's fine. I'm okay with anyone living the life they want to live. Mm-hmm.
I yell at people and give them the wake-up call because they want it. They sign up for it. They want to get out of debt. They want the tools. They want the resources. They want to join the median $10,000 paid off in 10 months that our guests do on the show. That's what they want. If you want to spend your money on bulls**t, if that's what you prefer, if that's what your objectives are, if that's what you care about in this world, I don't care. But I want your help. Because I just have no self-control. I have no self-control, and I'm trying to get it—
I know. I'm trying to get my shit together. I'm trying. I'm like... By spending double what you make. Yeah. That's trying. That's the word trying. Yeah. I mean, I just, I really like to shop. So I just, I'm trying to be better, but I... By spending double what you make is trying. Yeah.
I'll never understand this. I feel like I have this part of the conversation in every episode. What the fuck are you talking about? I feel like when people get pushed to the edge, they say, I'm trying. After they get called out on all their bullshit, their human emotion, human instinct is to say, I'm trying. Are you? Are you? I have literally your actual accounts, your literal most recent statements. There is not a single indication of trying. In fact, you consolidated and then you opened a credit card, didn't make a payment on it, and that is my I'm trying statement.
What the are you talking about? Not going to baby you. I'm trying. No, you're not. That's a load of bull. That is you trying to get out of being pushed back on. Don't with me with your trying. I want to be better. I really do. I just like there are times when I see something that I want.
And I just need to get it. And we budget for want. Again, you build up the want category and literally you put, it automatically goes in there. And you know if you've maxed out your want category. I'm okay with the want category. In fact, once I get in debt and have an emergency fund, I give 30% of people's incomes to wants, which is a substantial amount of money. That's huge. Huge. You're not there. Okay. Okay.
Well, I would love to know how I can get there because I – Let's start with don't spend double what you make. Okay. Don't open a new credit card when you realize you couldn't manage credit cards and you had to consolidate them in the first place. Start with those. So what I've learned so far, I've learned if you're going to do a business, you actually have to participate in the business to make any money. Okay.
Even though we're not going to do that anymore because you actually don't want to do that. You just feel like you have to, it sounds like. So we're actually not going to do that. Yeah, let's start with those. The most literal basic things that you were incapable of, it seems, for some reason. I mean, I really don't know. You don't know what? I don't know.
Say, because I feel like everything... Probably nothing to say. Everything that I say... This is at a 36% interest rate. That's insane. Which one? Michael's. Michael's. I don't think I've seen a credit card that high. I think that's the highest interest rate credit card I've ever seen on the show. Wow. And I film a lot of these. That is crazy. I could be wrong, but I think that is the highest interest rate on a credit card that I have seen. Yeah. And yes...
I think you've had two missed payments this year. Two late payments this year. Just since October. This year. Do you know what this year is? Oh, yeah. No, 2025. This year didn't start in October. No. I don't know what they teach at OF school, but it starts in January. And it's been this year so far, two late payments. Does it say how many? Wait.
Since January, I've had two. Typically, with the fees that usually get added from late payments, that's how the math looks. Or they just have a high late payment fee. I don't know. They have a high interest rate, so maybe... I don't know. What did you even buy to open this? What is worth this to you? What is worth all of this to you? Um...
You know, like the little Halloween figures that they have at Michael's? Like the little Halloween town? No, I've never been to Michael's. So they have like these like...
Halloween town figures that like light up and they're like little houses and stuff. You weren't even doing a hobby. Isn't that what Michael's is for, for hobby? I thought you were occupying your brain. You're just buying some Halloween town action figures or something. I mean, GI Joe Halloween towns. They're better than GI Joe. I feel like it's like a tradition for me mentally. It's a tradition for me. A tradition to up your finances yearly. Sure. The year that starts in October. It,
It is a tradition for me because it was always a tradition with my dad too that I want to get a new piece every year. Does it feel weird to be entering the third quarter of the year when the rest of us are entering the second quarter of the year today? Yes. I don't. Okay. They just gave me a picture. So you don't want to know about my Halloween town. Yes. It's not even, it's just a decor, it's a sh**ty looking decorate. It's not. How much it cost?
I mean, each piece is different. How many pieces did you get? I got two this year. I think one was... Two cost like 300 bucks? No, I think it's accrued. I had the credit limit of 300 and then I spent... Dude, your balance was basically 300. Yeah, because of the interest, right? When did you purchase these? October. Okay, that makes sense. Halloween. Yeah. No, I mean, if you make your minimum monthly payment...
I guess, yeah. It's more than your interest accruing this year so far. Yeah. I don't know about last year. I don't... Dude, this doesn't make any sense. How much did these action figures cost? I think they were like... Are you f***ing me? I think they were like $100 each. So you're telling me you've had about $100 in interest and fees since purchasing these in October? I swear, yeah. They were not $300. I had like a balance afterwards. That's not better. No. It's worse. No. Oh, my God.
I had a 36% interest rate. Wonderful. Well, that's just about the stupidest credit card I've ever seen. That's funny. No, I don't think any of it's funny. I just like, what do I do? You're yelling at me. What do I do? Not do your stupid October spending. Okay. Synchrony is what it looks like, right? No, care credit. Care credit through synchrony. Okay. Did you just fart? Are you having a fart? No. My stomach is growling though.
Did I just? No. It smells like dog fart. Oh, I'm dead. I mean, yeah, probably. What? That care credit probably smells like dog fart. It's all my dog. Oh, this is all your dog? Yeah, it's all my dog. You cannot afford to get a pet in 2025 if you do not get pet insurance. And it's really as easy as that. Well, so I actually... So through VCA, they have a monthly rate that you use to...
It's kind of like insurance, but apparently it's not as good as insurance because then I took my dog to the emergency room and that didn't cover it. So that's why I had to take out the care credit. What the f*** is it? It just covers like doctor fees, I guess. They wanted me to add up. It's the bare minimum. It doesn't cover emergencies. It covers like the annual checkups. Yeah. Okay. And vaccinations probably. Yeah. Yeah.
So $277.34 is the minimum monthly payment of $30. When was this? That was last month. Yeah, it was beginning of March. This is pretty cheap for an emergency visit. What even happened? So I just got my dog. So she's like five months now. And she's all over the place. Yeah, I want to get pet insurance better than what I have. If you can after this trip, I don't know. Let's see.
No, that's real. So she's usually pretty like all over the place. And there was one night when she was just kind of chilling on the couch. And I was like, huh, seems like she's growing up, babe. I think she's calming down. And my girlfriend was like, oh, yeah, this is like, because my girlfriend hates my dog. So she was like, this is- This sounds like an incredible relationship. No, it really is. It is a really good relationship. I promise. She hates essentially your guys' like-
No, we have three cats too. But so she was on the couch. She was like limp. So I thought my dog was dying. So I ended up taking her into the vet and the vet took me in and I was like, I think my dog is dying. So she was like, we need to run all these tests. And I was like, I can't afford all of these tests. Then you shouldn't have a dog. Well, it was like these like,
Because she was high. She got a hold of me. Couldn't afford the test. Yeah. So you shouldn't have a dog. Not well. If you can't afford to take care of the dog, you can't afford the dog. Well, I take care of her in every other way. This is a pretty important way. Are you keeping them alive during an emergency? Well, yeah. If I had to spend, like, I have the savings. So, like, if I had to spend, like, that $600, I would. It's just like... What is in savings? Yeah.
And say, like, how much do I have in savings? Yeah, you brought that up twice. What is in savings? Like $1,600. So it's not... Okay. You made it sound so much more substantial. That's your summer fund? Yeah. Yeah.
Good luck. It's not a fucking month fund for you. It's not a half a month. It pays for my rent. I was going to Instacart for the rest. It pays for a third of what you spent last month. Yeah, I was going to Instacart for the rest. Okay, so your dog got high because you can't put your fucking weed away. Apparently, yeah. Yeah, because you're an adult in every instance, in every situation.
But yeah, so she ended up getting high. They ended up just sending us home. Everyone on the show, everyone bad with money is either addicted to nicotine or they're smoking weed. How much do you spend on a monthly basis? I don't smoke it a lot. How much do you spend? Like zero. It's like $50 every few months because I do not smoke that much. But you leave it out. Yeah. I mean, I don't think she got a hold of like...
A whole thing. Like, I feel like we might have smoked and she, like, got, like, a piece. Like, it was, like, a one-time thing. Like, I don't think it would happen again. I hope not. Yeah, me too. I don't know how you can afford it. Yeah. What am I looking at here? I don't know. This looks like a pay-in-four, but I don't know which one. Oh, I think that's after pay. No, that's a firm. Yeah, you're overdue. In that, yes. You dumb. Yes. I didn't have the auto-pay. You said I pay you!
on time yeah i did what you said earlier yeah so she changes it like three days before coming to the show listen you led us to believe that you were okay with managing these because you always pay them on time but there you go yeah you're 528 dollars and 46 cents what is this fucking amazon what is this deferred for eternity uh open it up because i need to see your current plans because you only sent oh you oh you only send like the first page of things i need to see more i need to
That's for Amazon. I'm sure we've added some since then. It's not even letting me see. I'm sorry. I'm trying. Let me... Okay. Here you go. You're welcome to look through this. Her balance went up by $250. It did. That's from Expedia. What? To come here. Okay. Well, at least you get reimbursed for that. $759. Gold.
She doesn't know how to tell the truth, guys. She doesn't. Hey, half of these have auto pay. The other half don't. So good luck paying those on time because you didn't even know. Amazon, Walmart. Walmart, auto pay. Nope, nope, literally nope. The $66 one, right? Nope, it is not. It literally says off. Oh, that's ridiculous because it was on.
It's off and I can't trust you, no offense. But at this point with everything you've said so far, there is no trust. Dude, your phone's obnoxious. You get just spam, spam, spam every five seconds. Oh my gosh. Okay, your minimum repayments on here is $184.41. Use our reimbursement and pay off the Expedia one. Yeah. This is so stupid. I know. This is so stupid. While I'm on here, let me look at your subscriptions. I don't think I'm subscribed to that many.
That many. Well, I think it's like Google Drive. Yeah. And Gmail. Pay for Gmail? I didn't know people paid for Gmail. Yeah. We've had every image editor and video game in the world. Wait, what? The things you have subscribed to. Like in the past? Yeah. Yeah. Dog training, guitar pro tab things, Apple TV+. That one is a very worth a subscription. The Apple TV? Plus. Yeah. Yeah.
Best streaming service. Let's look at your Amazon orders also while we're here. Uh-oh. Fake eyelashes. Are you wearing them? I am. Is this pee paper for the dog? Yeah, the pee pads. It's horrible training. No, because we live in an apartment, so I'm just trying to get her to go somewhere that's not the floor first. I take her out. I raised my dog in an apartment, and I did not let him pee inside. And guess what?
He never pees inside. I take her out. Yeah, but you're allowing her to pee inside. It's just not good. Wigs? Are you wearing a wig? Huh? My hair wasn't ready for the day. So you're wearing a wig? Yes. What does it look like under that? Blonde. I mean, it's greasy right now. Messy. So is it a prop for the OF? It could be. Okay. Yeah. Dog graduation cap and gown. Plaid dog dress. Yes.
No heat overnight curls. Party variety overnights. Oats overnight pack. Lash claw. More fake lashes. Okay, we get those every second of our lives. Stylus pen for Apple. Dog poop bags. The first one I actually finally support. More lashes immediately. Puppy pee pads. Bad, bad, bad. Sling. Dog carrier sling. Yeah. What kind of dog do you have? A Pomeranian. Fake nails.
So it just yaps all day? Oh, yes. Oh, I could never do that. Oh, yeah. She's rough. That's kind of why my girlfriend can't stand her. Yeah, you were laughing. It was yapping while on the phone with Lindsay, she says. Oh, no. I'm sorry, Lindsay. Oh, yes. Oh. Okay.
Guys, I just wanted to say an extra thank you for making Simpler Budget an incredibly popular app. I wasn't expecting it, but we literally get like thousands of downloads a day. And a lot of you are actually changing your financial future and we've been hearing from you. So thank you all for supporting us. We just wanted to continue to say thank you and give people the opportunity to try out the app. So we still have a two-week free trial in there for the premium version. And of course, everyone that signs up for an annual version, at least for this next quarter, will get a Founders Edition Simpler Budget.
budget notebook and it is signed by me sent directly to you so that's a special thank you for putting your trust in us to create an amazing budgeting app and let me tell you the features that we're going to release throughout this next year are about to be crazy i'm going to make this the best budgeting app that has ever existed seriously download simpler budget now it's incredible the time to take control of your finances is literally right now and as an extra limited
bonus i will give you a signed version of my budget friendly cookbook for free when you sign up for simpler budget premium annual why the are you clarning walmart that was for a laptop from walmart yeah they did you even get it was a refurbished uh mac that i got for mac what that you got for polo
You're still paying for it. Yeah, I know. You need a Mac for... Guys, in order to upload pictures of my tits, I need a fucking MacBook Pro. They have a specific software. I need a Mac Studio. I need an M4 Ultra chip so I can upload a picture of my asshole. What the fuck are you talking about? They have a specific application for...
That you can use to see what pictures you have already sent to someone. It helps manage the account. Only Apple has this. Apple and Windows. So the two options. Okay. And it's a downloaded. Uh-huh. Is that a browser? You can't use it in a browser. No. You cannot use it in a browser. It's like an application. Yes, but you cannot use it in a browser. I mean, I couldn't use it like on my phone.
Like it's a Mac thing. And Windows. And Windows. Which means you could have got a computer you could afford better. Okay. Yeah, I guess. But this was a refurbished one. I didn't buy like a totally new, like 700. And what is it? A MacBook Air. Year? 2021. That may have been the first M1.
I don't know. Might not have been worth it, dude. You can go buy the fucking M4 MacBook Air for like $1,000 right now. That's $300 more and I bet it kicks your ass. I don't know. You probably just got swindled. I need a fact check. No, I need a fact check what year it's from. It might be newer than that. What else are you doing on here? What are you carnating every second of your life? Well...
I did take a vacation. Yeah, you take every summer off. We know. This one was in September. Oh, great. Not enough taking two months off. So I ended up actually going to Houston. Classic vacation destination, I guess. The swamp of Texas. I went to go see the YouTuber Mr. Ballin with my girlfriend. To see him? Uh-huh. He did like a live show where he just told like the spooky stories about
Oh, I didn't know he did that. Oh, it was so cool. He's been to my house. What? I love Mr. Ballin. I love him. No way. Yeah. Wait, that's so cool. Oh my gosh. I'll have to tell my girlfriend. Yeah, I'm sure. He seems nice. But yeah, we drove from there all the way to...
Or drove from home all the way to Houston and then drove back. But that included like the Airbnbs. Pomeranian dog, now that I'm thinking about it. Yeah. I mean, that's not like an adopt from shelter dog. It's like an expensive dog, isn't it? Yeah. How the f*** did you pay for your Pomeranian? My OF money. Oh my s***. You cash flowed it with tits? Yeah. Okay. She was, I think she was like a thousand. Yeah. When did you get her? When did I get her? When did you get her? In December. In December.
I got her around Christmas time. But around that time, I also got her the training classes and originally the VCA stuff. I got her her exams all figured out. I got the time to say stuff. Yeah, it's expensive to get a dog. Yeah. And then you did it. Yeah. You didn't firm rash repay all that, did you? No. No.
I did not. I bought all that with the OF money. But like... No, they're telling me you did with the training classes. No, the training classes. You're right. That was not my... That's a part of it. Yeah. You...
See, I can't... Tell the truth? Correct. What is this, a car? Looks like it. I do have a car. What is it? It is a Nissan Rogue SV. Year? 2021. Why the f*** do you need a 2021 car? I know LA is a driving city. There's not a walkability in sight, but... I had almost paid off my other car, but I...
I kind of break. I just got bored with that car. You're not going to make it. You're not going to make it. Like with mindsets like that, you're not going to make it. Like I can't fix someone who just does that. Who opens a new credit card out of a whim even though they decided they couldn't make their payments. Yeah. Because they wanted to get fucking little action figures except they're just decoration. Couldn't even do anything with them. And then next. Next.
They sell off their business to an agency, essentially, that does nothing. You get a car because you got bored, even though we almost were in a good financial position where we owned our car outright. Guys, everything's on autopay. Oh, wait, I'm missing my payments on my things. Oh, wait, all the things that are on autopay now are not on autopay. I had help, and it's getting sucked from me. That's what she said. Ha, ha, ha, ha.
It's getting absolutely sucked for me. You're at just over a 9% interest rate on this car. The minimum payment includes this and your minimum payments with everything. I don't know how the fuck I'm surviving. All right, mommies. $342.58. Do I have a value? The VIN is not correct. No way. Well, you gave him the wrong VIN. I didn't mean to. Well, we don't know what it's worth, I guess. Do you want me to look up the VIN? Well, you're looking for it. With this...
Stuff that you're dealing with, deciding whether or not to get back in the industry. Actually, before you decide, well, actually, if you go away from it, just go away from it. But if you're thinking about going back before you do, please sit down with a therapist. I'm going to cover three free sessions with Sondermine. Talk to them about it. I want to make sure you're doing something that you're not f***ing yourself in the future, mentally over the stuff. People go through bad experiences there. Yeah, definitely. Yeah.
I had one. What, the agency or something else I don't know about? No, just the agency. Just the agency. All the other experiences have been positive. We haven't done anything. Are you a collaborator? No. This is solo. Okay, so there you go. Yeah, just solo.
So when did you get this car? I got it in March of 2024. It's going to be paid off in 2030. Yeah. Just take the f***ing barrel now. End it. It's looking like the car's worth maybe around $16,000. Oh. It's actually not that bad. So what we're probably going to do with this then. Okay. You want to get rid of that?
I don't want to get rid of it. I don't give a fuck. Are you willing to get rid of it? Am I willing to? Yes! Then I'm not going to be able to get anywhere. Oh my fuck. Obviously, that's not what I'm saying. Oh, okay. If we get you another car, are you willing to get rid of it? Yeah. Okay, you're probably going to sell it. What's your credit score? 680. Yeah, you might be able to get a personal...
We're probably getting a personal loan to pay off the difference, about $1,500. Okay, boom. Then you can sell it, and then you get a $10,000 car with a $10,000 loan. Then boom, we've already cut your debt down by $16,000.
That's a downgrade though, right? $6,000. That's a downgrade though, right? Yes. You don't need to live a high life. You make $2,500 a month in LA. Yeah. That's the rough part. Is that all your debts? I believe so. I can't believe I f***ing inked myself. You have $65 in your checking account. What the f*** are we doing? Start with $45, even worse. Wait, $65? No wonder some credit cards... You know, I bet some of your payments aren't even late payments. I bet they're just f***ing bounced payments because you don't have enough money in your checking account to make them. No.
I bet. I mean, I don't know. We'll see. I know. That's all fucking stupid. It's a bakery and poke and community restaurant, whatever, something. I don't know. Sending $50 out cash, Apple cash and Microsoft apps loosely. Guys, other than three purchases on here, this entire page is bullshit. Look at that. The entire page. This is fucking crazy. You don't give a shit.
You don't give a f***. You're swiping more than ever with a low income and a high cost of living area. You don't give a f***. Loose Leaf, Apple Bill, Pete's, Bella Beauty Lounge, and then you don't even wear your real hair. Phil's Coffee, Luna Grill, Apple Cash Out, Snack. We're getting a f***ing snack for $7.19. Okay, great. That's a worth it. Snack, Apple Cash Out, Casa Ramos, Uber Eats.
Soup and Fresh. Apple Cash sent out. Seven Cafe. Luna Grill. Apple Bell. Apple Balance cash out. Apple Cash. What is all this Apple Cash you're sending out? It's every second of your life. Can I see it? Oh my. It's not something to look at. It's literally just Apple Cash. It might have been to the agency. What? Yeah. Otherwise. You have to pay them their cut? Yes. And you pay them in Apple Cash? That honestly. You don't even know? I.
Luna Grill, Apple Balance, Apple Cash. Okay, Apple. Apple Bill, Starbucks, Apple Cash, Apple Cash, Dumbling Bar, Spotify, Starbucks, Apple Bill. There's a lot of Starbucks. Son of a fucking stupid. Zelen out 164, Zelen out 800, Zelen out 40. That sounds more like the agency, right? Yeah.
Because $800, that's a substantial amount of money. That's my rent. That's my rent that I sent to my girlfriend. You don't have enough money in your account, so you pay $5 just for the privilege of having this account on a monthly basis. You don't even know that. Oh, my. Oh, my.
But I did recently. They have at Knott's Berry Farm, they have this food plan. So I... What the fuck are you talking about? Food plan for what? Farms? What are you going? Knott's Berry Farm? You're picking corn? No. What are you talking about? Knott's Berry Farm. Maybe if I just let you talk about it. I didn't want you to. No, but like, do you know Knott's Berry Farm? No. What? So where do you get berries? I don't know.
Whoa. It's like near Disneyland. So it's an amusement park. Do I live near Disneyland? No, but I thought it was famous enough. I don't know. Jake, do we know Knott's Berry Farms? Jake has stepped inside of his office. Oh, Lindsay doesn't count. She's from LA. Knott's Berry Farms is a big thing. Yeah. Knott's Scary Farms. Yes! Knott's Scary Farms. Do you know about Knott's Berry Farms?
We're going to ask Jake, you know? Yes. Oh, OK. Maybe I'm either way. They have a food pass that comes with their annual pass, which is like one hundred dollars for the annual pass a year and then one sixty five for this food pass. And you can come in any time and every four hours you can get a meal. So when I'm hard on cash, I do usually do that. How much does it cost to get a meal?
It's free with $165. $165. You can get a free meal every day? Mm-hmm. Isn't that nice? Yeah, that sounds like a worth it subscription. Why are they offering that? I don't know. I should gatekeep it though. Kind of, but also if you're able to literally get a basically free meal or like a 50 cent meal-
Then why the f*** are you spending so much on going out to eat that makes no sense, that actually makes it look even worse? Some days I'm tired and I don't want to go all the way to Knott's Berry Farm. And they don't have, like, they don't have boba at Knott's Berry Farm. I love boba. Make it at home. I feel like it's just not the same. It's like coffee. It's not the same. Well, coffee can be better at home.
I need someone to prove that. Listen, going out to eat was almost $700, and then you sent money, Apple Cash, out to the girlfriend. For rent. Yeah, but also for food. For going out to eat, it wasn't all rent. You were at Apple Cash sending out every second of your life. It couldn't have been rent unless you're paying rent every day. Yeah. Stop it. Miscellaneous pay is another $700. Oh, yeah. It's so fucking stupid. It's so fucking stupid. It doesn't make any sense. Oh, my. It's not.
Sorry. It's not funny. Our life is a disaster. It's not funny. 177 in this. It's funny. Five below, so probably getting some bulls**t. Raw store, Starbucks, Starbucks, snack cat, two hands, Starbucks, rad coffee, Starbucks. When you're talking about going better, coffee from home, you're getting Starbucks. Burnt-ass coffee, f**k off. Zelling out money. Oh, it's all bulls**t. Orange Circle, Santa Ana, Amazon, Starbucks, getting some bulls**t.
Amazon, Ross, Broth, Santa Ana, Starbucks, Lunar Grill, Prime Video, Coffee Taco Bell, Snack Cat, Flame Broil. It's another page. You're hurting my voice with all just the absolute stupid. Yeah.
You're going out twice a day minimum. Probably three times a day. Starbucks. Coffee, lunch, dinner. Yet we have like a 25 cent meal that we can go get. F*** you. Olive Garden, Wetzel's Pretzels. Great. Cassidy's Corner, Home Goods, getting some bullsh**.
Starbucks, TJ Maxx, you get clothes every second of your life. Ross. It's usually just like unnecessary decoration. Oh, f*** off. There is no such thing as a necessary decoration. Unnecessary decoration. Yeah, you're damn right. Like a stupid f***ing little in a sled, right? One of those Halloween f***ers. Yeah. Yeah. That's the picture I saw was Halloween people in a car, not a sled. Some bulls*** hot topic. Yeah. I love hot topic, though.
I get rewards there a lot. It sounds like you're prepping for a redemption arc. McDonald's, Amazon, Prime Video, Jamba Juice, Knott's Berry, Admin, $21. I thought you got free admissions. I'm paying it off monthly.
$21? That's not $150. No, you put it all together. It's like a monthly plan, like how you get a Disneyland pass and you can pay it off monthly. It's the same thing with Knott's. But that's not $150. You said it was $150. No, $160 for the food plan and then $100 for the pass. So it's $250. Yeah, I would say $250, yeah.
But why are you going out to eat three times a day then if it's $20 a month for that? Well, it's Starbucks usually in the morning. Yeah, I know. Oh, I thought Starbucks was in the middle of the night. Well, it's not three times a day. I only eat one time. Yes, you do. You eat Starbucks, you lunch, you dinner. Dude, there is no way. But the amount of going out to eat, it is. Plus sending out for the girlfriend, you're going out to eat three times a day. Starbucks, lunch, dinner. You are. There's no way you can't. Unless you're getting two dinners a day.
Starbucks, Leafs Cafe. Probably... Ladies and gentlemen. Here we go. Savings. Our legendary savers. I'm sorry. You... Negative dollars and eleven dollars. Look at it. Look at it. Let me look at it. Look at it. What bank account is this? Your bank account. What bank account is this? I have a couple. I have a couple like...
One for savings, one... Yeah. Stupid. This has changed. It's better now. I don't give a f***. This last statement, you were negative in your... Yeah. Negative in your f***ing savings. $83 in acorns. Yeah. No.
Acorns. And acorns is good. I like acorns. I prefer Moo Moo. Everyone knows that, but it's fine. I don't know Moo Moo. That's fine. That just gets you better cash rewards when you deposit money versus acorns. And then $890 in here, but it started at $1,000. So this is going down in this checking account. They're just sending money out, like you said. So it's not even a reliable savings. What a joke. This is all a joke. This is a f***ing joke.
Before I even make a budget, let's just see if you can even, is there even a chance for math? Is there even a chance? What are you going to make dog grooming? Do you know? So she said I could make up to like $40,000 a year. For L.A., that is a big struggle. Yeah. I'll gift you a course career certification of your choice if you want to change your career path.
I smell the dog fart again. Something's happening. Yeah. Listen, your debt minimum monthly payments alone is $1,033.99. What's your portion of rent? $800. What's your portion of utilities? That $800 includes the utilities too. Internet as well? Yeah. Gas. How much gas driving? Vroom, vroom. Drive, drive. My mom helps me with the gas.
See, she didn't even tell me that early when we literally talked about it. Did we? I'm sorry. Are you serious? Did we? Did you just did we? Me? No. Did we? Yes, we did. You said it's only for food sometimes. Which, by the way, you because look at your food spending. I know you. What an enablement for mommy car insurance. Yeah. Car insurance has gone up to what? It was one ninety and now it's going to be two forty.
$400 to go and we're maxed out. Phone bill. Mommy? My mom. Maybe you should have fucking told me that when we went through this conversation, you privileged, spoiled brat. Yeah. If you're ever on your own, do helium. Helium? If T-Mobile's good in LA. Do you pay for groceries? Yes. I'll give you $300. Use the cookbook. TV fund, anything else that you need to survive, $100. Okay.
And I hope we have nothing else because that currently has you maxed out. But we have dogs, single dog. Do you have to take care of the cats as well? Yes. Okay. Then you are out of love. Even $40,000 a year. Yeah. I think that's minimum too. It really just depends. Listen, here's the thing. The reality is you optionally only make that much money. Yeah. Because you work 30 hours a week.
and take off 15% of the work year.
No, more than that, because if we incorporate weekends, all that stuff. In terms of actually working hours, you probably take off like 20% of the work year. And then you actually take more vacations throughout the year, so I wouldn't be surprised if you take off 25% of the work year. This is all a choice, and when it's all a choice, I don't give a f*** at that point, because literally you're choosing this. This isn't a mathematical error. This is just you f***ing around, not caring, being a spoiled brat by two mothers. It's stupid. Spending your budget zero out of ten. I'm pissed off. Debt, I mean...
It's honestly not the worst. You're just a dumb a** paying it off. Yeah. We can make it better with that car consolidation. It's a 2 out of 10. Emergency fund, technically a little there, but I bet it's going to be drained. 1 out of 10. Retirement, I didn't see d***. No. 0 out of 10. Real estate, 0 out of 10. The closest you'll get to owning real estate is your girlfriend's mom. Yeah, I know. You have a financial score.
One out of ten. Guys, join us in the post show. I know with this type of conversation, that's where we can have conversations about things that would get this episode demonetized. So make sure you join us there. And join Hammer Elite for thousands of hours of extra content. We upload almost daily there. Help support the channel. And last but not least, don't forget to download the Simpler Budget app today. See you in the post show. We can talk more about the nitty gritty because we can't get demonetized in the post show. Right. So what is something crazy? What should we know about this OF?
Tell Caleb how much you spent on the tattoo and what it's of. Oh, and where even is it? $1,200. It's my... You affirmed the tattoo? Yep. All right. To watch the Financial Audit Post Show, click the Join button below.