He Exploited Pr*stitutes, Now He's F*cked | Financial Audit
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I don't pay for nothing. They pay for me. In quote from you, Chase... When these women meet me and they talk to me and they get to know me... They love me. The... Right? You think Jeff Bezos with his pretty wife didn't have to pay her a little bit to be like, hey, come on a date with me while I get some...

Download my budgeting app today and take control of your money once and for all. And for a limited time only, sign up for the annual version of premium and get my cookbook and notebook signed and mailed directly to you. Link in the description and pin comment below. Hi, I'm Rico Suave. I'm 23 years old and I live in Austin, Texas. This is Financial Audit.

Thanks for coming on, buddy. Thanks for coming in. I know you're pretty close to the studio. So what do you do here for a living in Austin? We haven't had like local in a while. Yeah, that's true. You know, actually, I work in real estate right now. It's kind of my thing. Pretty much just making cold calls and taking names is what I do.

Does that make money? Not really, to be honest. I mean, right now, I'm just trying to get by. I mean, really, it's all about... Are you getting by? You know, that's a good question, Caleb. I mean, I think...

Getting by just comes down to if you can make the monthly rent payment. Are you making the monthly rent payment? Most of the time. Most of the time I am. When are you not? Probably really when I'm out of money. That's when I'm not making rent payment. That's a given. I'm asking when timeline are you typically not? When I'm not? I'm trying to think.

Probably by the end of this month. That's going to be... By the end of this month. That's a ticking time bomb. That's a chopping block. But why the fuck are you doing this bullshit cold call real estate crap? Are you trying to be an agent? I'm switching gears a little bit. No, no, no. Tell me what you're doing. Tell me what you're doing because we need to position yourself in a place where you can make money and pay your rent. What are you doing with your 40 hours allocated to work on a weekly basis? What are you doing? Yeah, what I'm doing...

I'm trying to think. I mean, sitting by the pool quite often, you know, I think pondering my thoughts has been like... No, in your job, this cold calling bulls**t. Oh, job-wise. I'm trying to think. Most of the time, I'm just kind of sitting there and they give me a huge list. Who? What is the job? Oh, the job? Yes, what is the job? So, it's... Oh my gosh, dude. Bad start, my friend.

It's not technically a real job by any means. Then why aren't you working a real job? That's what I'm going to look for, but you know what? I actually have a- When's the last time you've had a real job? Maybe a few weeks ago. A few weeks ago. Oh, okay. Yeah. What were you doing? I was a luxury short-term house manager. Okay, I don't know exactly what that entails, but what were you making? I was making like 20 bucks an hour. Yeah. Okay.

Okay, not bad. Yeah. 40 hours a week? Yeah. Okay, you can pay rent probably maybe with that depending on your rent situation. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Why'd you leave? I don't know. I got fired actually. Yeah, yeah. Why? Well, I got fired. So they have a company card which you use for the guests. Oh, dude. You know, if you want to get them like a little gift or something. But in my case, the gift was to me and it was chicken nuggets. What the fuck?

you doing you're nugging it up who doesn't make nugs you tell me nuggets are the you gotta have nuggets i mean telling you what i can't go by without a little nuggies yeah use your own money i mean that's what you do that's what i do i use my own money for my nuggies did i tell you about the hack though there's a hack there's one did i tell you about the hack we've been talking for three minutes and no you've not used the word hack there's a good hack out there it's called the door dash hack

Is this the hack that got you fired? It might have. I mean, there's some... It doesn't sound like much of a hack. There's some leniency involved. I mean, what happened was... No, you got fired. It doesn't sound very lenient. It depends how you look at it. All right, tell me. So what happened, pretty much, you know, I was just hungry one day and, you know, company credit cards right there.

You know, I opened up the DoorDash app and, you know, I just typed in my information, told them I want some Raising Cane's, came on over and accidentally used the company card. Accidentally. Accidentally, yes. I like to use the word accidentally quite often. Was it accidentally?

It definitely was. No, was it accidentally? If you like to use that word quite often. They accidentally forgot to include some sauces, which actually made the meal free, which was good. So it ended up going back to the company, got my free chicken. Something tells me you probably were shitting the job when they used this as the final straw. How long were you in this job? I was there for about five months, I think. Yeah. Five months. Five good months. Five solid months. I don't think so.

Are you sure about that? I mean, I would love to show you my skills and actually bring it to your company, Caleb. And if I give me a chance, I won't use a company credit card for chicken. I wouldn't let you near a company credit card. Are you being serious or are you joking? I know I'm being serious. I mean, I'm telling you, I got the great personality. I got the look. I know how to cook. Okay, you're handsome. I don't know what cooking would have to do with...

I mean what we're doing think about it. I mean you're like I'm like was this like breaking bad I'm like the Jesse you're like the the this is what financial audit I mean I'm thinking about like a comparison like the Batman and the Robin mean you could be like Yeah, yeah be such a good worker I promise not to use the company credit card yet, but if you give me some time get put in some effort and

Are you being genuine? I'm being honest. I'm being honest as I can. You actually want a job. Yeah, of course. We have like 50 job openings right now. Really? You don't even know. I mean, I looked. I saw one of them. Oh, buddy, I think you might. You know, I get that quite often. I think confidence makes up for the fact that I'm a little slow, but it's okay. I don't know if I would want the slowest among us to be the most confident. Well, I'll tell you what.

What job do you want? I want to be the guy who just got fired for using the company credit card. Do you still have that credit card? Did you give it back? Allegedly, the company card is still on my iPhone still. Allegedly. In pursuit of buying more chicken, potentially. Are you actually using it? I'm not using it currently. Have you used it since being fired? Buddy, f*** off. If you f*** off, you're a piece of s***.

That's not funny. I'm telling you, man. You're not funny. They were supposed to reimburse me for gas. I mean, I'm just reimbursing the gas in terms of food, you know? You kind of get what I'm saying? They told me you used it to buy... I did buy... I actually did do that. I did do that. It was good, though. What the f*** am I talking to right now? You're not even...

close to being considered for a job. I mean, think about it, though. Mistakes are made. Why would I hire you? If you're actually being serious, but you have a weird personality. I interacted with him in the lobby earlier. This is him.

Well, I'll tell you what. Let me tell you something important, Caleb. Like, Jocko Wendling, you know that Navy SEAL guy? He said one time that if he had to bring one person to war, he wouldn't bring the guy with the sharpest sword. He wouldn't bring the guy with the smartest head. He would bring the luckiest guy.

And the luckiest guy tends to be the slowest guy, in my opinion. But he got fired a couple weeks ago. I'm telling you. That's not lucky. Lucky is being better than anything. You got fired a couple weeks ago. That's not luck. It's all luck. It comes down to luck, baby. Where is your luck? You got fired a couple weeks ago. I mean, I'm telling you, man. That was on them. Yes, that was on them, but it's impacting your life. Where's your luck? What the f*** are you talking about? Why would I bring someone with a sharp sword anyway to a f***?

No, I don't got a sharp sword. I got luck. No, I know. Why would I bring either of those? It doesn't really make any sense. Yeah, I would prefer to bring the smartest one.

I'm telling you, I'm telling you. The luckiest guy is the best guy. You have no luck. You just got fired, you dumbass. I mean, think about how long I was there for. You even said yourself. Five months. That's not really good. Five months is great. Oh, boy. So what's your work history, dude? All right. Well, we'll have to get into that. Okay. Briefly, then. I actually have gotten fired. Briefly. Oh.

Are you proud of this? I'm not necessarily not proud of it. I mean, wouldn't you consider it? I need to interject. Again, I interacted with this dude outside before we started filming. This is like a real human that exists on the streets of Austin, Texas. You know, it's funny you bring that up because I am actually a twin. So, you know, people might confuse me. I'm the more handsome one, obviously, but that's okay. That's okay. If anyone cares, obviously. Ladies.

Anyways, you said you got 50 job openings. Which ones are we looking at for myself? I think I'd be a great sales guy. That would be you. Okay, we have a sales one. I like sales. Sales is great. I'm a cold caller. I'm a great guy. I can approach anyone on the streets, not even speaking the language. It doesn't sound like you've closed many, though. I mean, you like calling the number. It doesn't seem like you push them over the finish line. I mean, I could tell you. I worked in sales before. I actually did a little bit of cold calling. What's your longest job?

I actually worked there for a week doing cold calling. But I tell you what, I was like a phone monkey, dude. I was pushing the buttons. I was taking names. I was getting deals done, man. For one week? Yeah, one week. But that one week was probably the greatest of my career. I'm not going to lie. Some people brag about 10 seconds. I brag about one week. So let that be said. Who's bragging about 10 seconds? What the f***? What are you talking about? I don't know anything about 10 seconds, Caleb. I'll tell you that. You know anything about 10 seconds? No.

What are you talking about? We could change the topic. It's fine. Why are you here, man? You know, I came here, one, for a job. Actually? Yeah, obviously. I mean, what else? I mean, this is the best financial YouTube channel. You think Dave Ramsey would take a guy like me? Hell no. No? You think I would take a guy like you? Absolutely. We need a little personality. What the fuck have I presented myself as?

I mean, we need some. Online to suggest that I would even come close to interacting with you in a professional manner. I'm sure. Dude, I'm telling you. I consulted my magician on this. He said to me that if I come in with the swank, the dank, nothing but no stank, I'd come and I'd give a shit.

are you talking about? I'm going to get the job, man. What do you mean magician? It's like a palm reader, essentially. Essentially someone that consults you and is telling you the future. He just said to be confident, look good, be happy. Listen, I'm a college dropout, so it is not the indication of everything, but I have to ask your highest level of education. I did high school. Did you complete it?

Mostly. I got a pretty okay GPA. Did you graduate? I took three gym classes at the end of my senior year. Did you graduate? I did, yes. Do you think I didn't graduate? What the heck? I'm asking you. It was hard to get an answer, surprisingly. Oh, really? I did...

two community college courses, though. That was the highlight of my career. I became Spanish club president. The highlight of your career. You know what's funny? I just realized this. When I was Spanish club class president... I don't care. Shut the f*** up. I actually really do not care. Shut up. I actually had a taco party. I do not care. Shut up. I'm being honest. Shut the f*** up.

up you know i don't give a f**k about your spanish club president i mean this is not an interview isn't it i mean i want you to know my skills and where i come from right a spanish club president won't even be considered remotely a skill we got a couple we got some spanish speaking people here buddy you have a lot of high interest debt oh some family debt oh yeah we're

What's going on? Your income's a joke. I see your last payroll that hit. So you're not getting paid for this job that you're in now? No, because I have to make a deal first. You're spending with...

Yeah. What's a deal you have to make? I got to make someone meet with the real estate agent and make them buy a house. Oh, wait. They have to buy the house? Yeah. So it's not them just meeting with the real estate agent. Yeah. It's essentially me calling them and if they buy a house. You're an assistant. Essentially assistant. I mean, it's a good- Why are you doing this instead of going working to the McD's, dude? McD's. Who wants to work at McD's, dude? Nobody specifically, but you want to be able to pay rent, don't you? I'm being entitled to a little-

I've been doing good so far. Have you not seen that? You just told me at the beginning. I told you, luck is on my side. Hey, you actual dumb motherfucker. You just told me at the beginning of this conversation that you're not going to be able to pay rent at the end of the month or beginning of next month. God will figure out a way, man. I'm telling you what. This brain is filled with ideas and hope. But even in the most religious perspectives, it is you putting in the effort to get there. Yeah, I mean, God takes care of it. No, it is you putting in the effort to get there, even in that religion. Are you sure? Yeah.

I mean... Yes, it's like faith without actions is f***ing bulls***. I don't know about that. I'll tell you what, man. That's your own religion. I could close my eyes and I'd get this done. I'll tell you what. Okay, tell me how you're getting it done. I'm going to find someone to get a house. And once they get the house... No, no one's going to buy a house in a couple weeks. Are you sure? Yes. There's people like that everywhere. Buddy... What about you? Are you looking... Actually, actually... Are you looking for a house? No. Why not? I thought you were into investment properties. I...

Am? You are. Cool. The market's down right now in the stock market, so I'm investing as much money there as possible. So let me ask you, if the market was not down in terms of price, is that what's stopping you? It is.

I'm not buying in Austin. You're not in Austin? I'm not buying investment properties in Austin that doesn't cash flow in Austin. Hey, you know where a good cash flow market is right now? San Antonio. It's the number one city people are moving to in 2025. That's where the money's at. So, Caleb, if you give me a couple minutes, I'd love to propose to you. Oh, you're such an obnoxious... Oh, you're so obnoxious. Shut the f*** up.

You're not going to sell a house in a couple weeks. One, people want to look for a little bit. It's going to take a minimum a month and that's if they move quick. Two, if they're taking out a loan for the house, then they got to negotiate the purchase price of the house. Let's call that a few weeks. Okay, cool. Because no one, if they're getting an investment, they want to go and get an actual good deal, which means they're probably going to lowball and they're going to have to fight to get to a reasonable number that they're going to accept. And then if they're taking out a loan, you got to take about another month to go through that entire process, underwriting,

And then you're going to close the house. So you're looking at three months minimum. And that's moving kind of quick. So how are you paying rent again? I'm paying rent by using the company credit card for chicken. And I exchange that chicken for dollars. And I go on the street, sell the chicken. You know how those people walk down the streets? Is that true?

I've done a couple things I'm not too proud of, to be honest with you. I mean, I just get these ideas. I mean, I saw people selling... That sounds more interesting than anything you've said so far. I mean, these people are selling fruit in the street. What do you do that you're not so proud of? You don't want to know about that. I do. That's why I asked. You don't want to know that. I literally do. That sounds more interesting than any of the...

you've been on this conversation so far look i'll tell you the networking opportunities in austin are quite high but the problem is is that you gotta make something happen when it comes down to that so tell me um you're saying all these broad words leading to nothing i don't know how i'm gonna bring this up the just say it you actual obnoxious human oh my

Okay, I'm not gonna make it to this. Okay, here's what here's what I like to do So, um when you're showing up to the ball, you know, you gotta look presentable You can't show up solo man the same in high school So we gotta do you gotta have a dime piece to say the least so, you know, I just go I

to some of these expensive restaurants and I invite some pretty girls to come with me and I asked them just to show their face, look pretty, look nice and let daddy do the rest, you know? And while I'm doing that, I'm just getting more numbers and increasing my networking opportunity and dating opportunity. It's,

Wait, wait, wait. What the f***? No, what are you talking about? Are you serious? Have you not heard about this before? Have you not, like... Heard about what before? Going to the ball and, like, getting some networking done. You know what I mean? The dime piece. The dime piece, yeah. Like, girls, you know what I mean? Like, you know, just going out and getting some pretty dates and going and... How are you getting the pretty dates? Well, I mean, I had tax return and... Huh? Huh?

Everything you say makes no sense. Honestly, it sounds to me like you're paying women. I'm not necessarily paying women, but I'm more taking them on fancy dates to help me network. How are you meeting them? I'm meeting them through Tinder. I met one of them when I was at the club. Some of them actually live in my apartment building. You're bullshitting me. I mean, they told me you told them you're literally getting hooked. Hooked?

I don't know if I call them hookers by any means. No, but you're literally paying women. They're telling me right now. That's okay. Proff. Hooker. Proff. Proff. Proff. Proff. Is that, do you like proff, Caleb? I've never had. Are you sure? I've never dabbled. Are you sure? Because you seem to know a lot about this. I'm just curious, you know, because this is the first I've heard about proff. Proff.

Telling me that you told them beforehand that you have paid women for sex and showing up to meets. Oh, showing up to meets. The only meets I go to, baby, is at the club, okay? No, no, the networking things and for sex. I mean, this ain't like some sex party. Hey, they're telling me you have told them that you pay women for intercourse. I don't pay for nothing. They pay for me.

So you're backtracking now that you're on camera? I don't necessarily think the word... applies to the situation at hand here. Maybe you might know a little bit more about...

Than I do. Have you ever heard about taking out a girl at the ball? Have you ever done that before, Caleb? At the ball? At the ball. You know what I'm talking about. The bell, the ball. The bell, the ball. You know what I'm talking about there, Caleb? I don't. I've never gone to the ball. The bell, the ball. You know what I'm saying? You know what I mean?

Look at Jeff Bezos. You think that guy, you think Jeff Bezos with his pretty wife, you think he didn't have to pay her a little bit to be like, hey, come on a date with me while I get some contracts for my space mission? No, I don't think so. He's a billionaire famous and well-known. I don't think he had to give money. I'm telling you. They might hope that they get money and the lifestyle, but you don't have money. No, no, no, no. I want to hammer this down. Hey, shut the f*** up. To be rich, you got to think rich. I want to hammer this down. You're not even close to rich. You use the magician for your advice.

You don't believe in magic, Caleb? Oh my God. I'll tell you, magic is in sales, baby. And if you hire me right now, I promise you, I'll get every person in this seat. Here's the thing. We know that you have paid women and still do for intercourse. I wish. No, we know that because you've told us that. I mean... And you're backtracking that on camera. And not only that...

Your weird rebuttal to it because you don't know what to say is that women pay you for sex meaning that you just said you're a prophet I mean if you think about it, I am a if you think about it You want to watch Caleb? You know why I Caleb because I exchanged my time for money just like any process you have no money I have your bank accounts. I Do have money you do not have money in the future. I do have money. I

That doesn't make any f***ing sense. It does. You actual moron. I like to bring the past, the present, and the future, and I like to bring them together just to get an even spread of life. Okay, I'm just going to use the notes from the conversation you had with them because you're incapable of sticking on a conversational path.

They said that you moved to Texas into a factory. Yes. And you, quote, said, I was expecting to do the job on day one, but you were grouped together with a bunch of trainees. And...

I don't know. It took a bunch of sick days immediately, and then you got fired after a couple months or something. Yeah. No, I don't like to use the word fired. I don't like the word fired. Fired is a bad word. I never got fired, actually. You know what happened? I did take some sick days because I needed a little excursion trip to Cabo San Lucas. I'm not sure if you've heard about this place.

You could use a vacation, Caleb. I don't know what you're talking about. I mean, don't you have some sick days to build up? I mean, this is your company after all. I would have unlimited PTO if I was you. I mean, we could talk about that when I get hired, obviously. You will never be allowed to step foot in this building, I believe. We'll see about that. A great salesman knows how to change minds, people. Will someone please let Matt, the security guard, know? All right. Don't worry. I already paid Matt off. It was really easy. You did.

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I like Cabo. Cabo's great. That's not what we're talking about, you actual... Oh, you're pathetic. Are you proud of yourself? I actually quite am, you know? How? In what world are you possibly proud of yourself? I would be so beyond embarrassed to exist in your skin.

I don't know what to do with you. Are you sure? Well, let's get down to business, Caleb. You know, I'm a businessman at heart. Buddy, I've been trying. I'm talking about a job that you lost. We're going through your history. I need to get you into a job so you can pay rent. Yes. So one of the reasons I'm talking about your past work and where your money is going is because it's important to land you in a position where you might stay more than a couple fucking months without getting fired from every damn job you've ever been in in the history of your life because you are a joke of a human being.

and have not progressed past the age of five. You know, I progressed past the age of four, according to my CH. Not everything is a little joke. You would never even be considered for a job here. Are you sure about that, Caleb? Because I think I got the resume ready for you. I got the resume. You have a resume. I do. It's a great resume. Give it to me. I mean, we'll have to send it to you on Gmail. Give it to me. You have a phone, you actual dumb...

All right, I'll send you the... Pull out your phone, you f***ing buddy. Look how far we're going. I don't know how you exist. I don't know how you exist. They don't call me Rico Suave for nothing. They don't call you that at all. We assigned you that name when you walked in. You're a moron.

I'm going to put the subject as your best hire. And then we're going to look back at this as a fond memory. I'm looking on your phone. You are not sending me an email because I'm not giving you my email address. We'll use it for other purposes, you know? Give me your phone! Pull it off! No, your resume! I just want to see your resume! Oh, my resume? Yes! What are we talking about? I was sending it to you. Shut up, you

getting my contact I never want to interact with you again after this we'll talk about it don't worry we will not you know we'll not this will not be discussed you don't know that you know I do I have control of my life let's look at my resume here we go you're gonna like this one ready for that look how good that looks

Do you have like an actual like PDF? Let me look. A PDF. Yes. That's a Word document or something. He showed me. He just gave me his Indeed profile. There we go. How's that look? Wait, I got two different resumes. So that's one of them. Give me your preferred one. This one probably is the real one, but let me see here. Yeah, this one works. Let's do this one.

All right, there you go. Feast your eyes and fantasize, Caleb. That's my resume. Immediately with the page and a half, just like everyone on Financial Auto History. You only need a page and a half. The rest of it's my personality. Shut the fuck up. It's not the worst template. It's basic. It's easy. I like that.

It says that you're still working in your last job. We know you're not. That's a work in progress. I like to refer that as a template in the business I work in, a.k.a. life. People like this actually exist in the world, people. This is what we're dealing with. This is the collapse of our civilization before our eyes. Oh, it was at Tesla. Tesla, yes. You got fired from Tesla. I prefer the term let go. Let go. Let go.

Utilizing effective communication skills to coordinate the timely delivery and organization of materials supporting... Oh, this is such fluff. Such word... My goodness, people do not know how to make resumes. I don't even know what you did there. I mean, I was doing material handling. I was moving stuff. Flexing around. Looking good. Well, I don't think you utilized effective communication skills to coordinate the timely delivery and organization of materials supporting efficient production of Tesla's vehicles and energy products.

That is one bullet of three bullets on this, buddy. It's such bullshit. I would immediately click off and be like, what the fuck am I dealing with? Press operator, February 2024 to October 2024. Full Scaramucci here. What were you doing? I was working. I was like making like pharmaceutical tablets. Why is it press? Oh, you were pressing. Yes. And I don't mean to press you there, Caleb.

We were making testosterone gel and stuff. They were making some pretty cool stuff there. Explains why I got all these muscles. Buddy, you look like a f***ing twink. You're just a little tall. Maybe you could use a little testosterone gel or something. I don't know. Maybe. Lead machine operator. You were at that one for a while. How many of these did you get?

let go from? Um, well, those are just part, honestly, there's another resume I have and I've gotten fired for probably like three or four jobs in Austin already, but I'm telling you, that would not get you, uh, hired from a job. Yeah. You know, it's funny. Lindsay, uh, you all know Lindsay in the post show for those who are subscribed. One of the producers here, uh,

I had a nice long conversation with this guy before. She came to me before we filmed as he was like spreading chlamydia all over my bathroom walls. And he – she told me, this guy legitimately thinks he is going to impress you and get a job here before he leaves. He actually thinks this. This human being – light use of that term –

thinks he was going to walk away with the job here. And he's talking about all these firing things. You're a pharmacy tech at some point? That scares the f*** out of me. I mean, I was counting as much as I could over there. I don't know how you've survived this far. I really don't. I think the job just comes down to looks.

Nope, it doesn't. No one would see you when you work here other than the coworkers. Imagine people saw my face and I had a sign that said... Our sales job, no one will see your face. Why not? They got to see the face. No, they wouldn't. If you don't see the face, I mean, what are we doing? Oh, buddy. Oh, you're actually... Buddy, I got to teach you some things. I mean, this should be called financial. Yeah, so let's go over the person. What the heck is this? Let's compete between the person with $1,000 and the one with...

$500 in his 401k. $500? After 30 years, that's going to be $2 million or something? That money is there to stay. That's money to stay. Oh my gosh, let's move on. Please. I'm just reading the notes because it's impossible to stay on track with you, but they're telling me from the conversation, yes. Who's they?

Literally, the producer's right next to you. Are you stupid? Oh, I see. Okay. I was like, who's talking to you? I mean, this is the first time we met. And I was like, hey, I'm a magician. He knows you. Hey, Pookie. Our Memorial Day sale is happening right now, and it's your shot to grab some of the tools you need to own your financial future. Yay!

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They said that you're interested in enjoying Scientology or Mormonism. I thought about it, actually. So if you look at Tom Cruise, for example, and all the crazy stuff he'd done, I think that's the way you get in. You have to be adrenaline. You got to be after it. But you stopped and you abandoned that.

Instead to, in quote from you, chase MILFs lately. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's it right there. Mamacitas favacitas. That's what I like to say. It's my favorite word these days. That was multiple words, wasn't it? It was multiple words, but I like to conjoin it. It's called a compound word, Caleb. I know you dropped out of college, but that's something that they like to say. Compound word. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Now, before we move on, before we move on,

I do want to press one more time before we get into these documents because what the f***? We'll see it. I want you to admit what we already know. What's that? That you spend money to f*** women. You buy women's vaginas. I'll tell you this, Caleb. I'll tell you this. Can you admit to it because you admitted to it before? I'll tell you. And you're nervous about being on camera now. I'll tell you this, Caleb. Why don't you just admit that you buy sex? I'll tell you this, Caleb. I'll tell you this.

When these women meet me and they talk to me and they get to know me, they love me. They get to see who I am as a person. Can you confirm it's a prospective process? They don't judge me on my resume. Hey, can you confirm their prospective process?

Let's just call them that. Like potential. I would call them. Potential. I'm not even saying. They're not. But the potential. You could call them. That's where their mind is originally. And you're saying you convert them. Why do you like to call them prostitutes so much? Are you. Okay, sex workers. Sex workers. What term do you want to use? Mamacitas. Suavecitas. Again, with the compound word. Lindsay, how much does he spend on prostitutes? Because I'm not going to get an answer from him.

What do we have? From our knowledge, how many prostitutes does he get? That's to Jake. That's to Jake? What are we spending on prostitution? It looks like he wants to find out. Shut the fuck up. You're incapable of answering a question. You're no longer involved in this conversation. It's hard to tell, but last guess, probably minimum. Okay, so we're getting a lease in the last month that you spent $400 for sex once.

I mean, I'm taking them on dates. In a month. We know you're paying for sex. Escorters, escorts, escorters. That's the word. Okay. You use the escort services. Correct? I will find out. Can you confirm? I can't confirm nor deny that information. But I can say we had a great time. And she walked away with money. Oh, that laugh. Okay. Okay.

Oh, boy, buddy. I'm not going to ask your Hammer Financial Score. If you want the quiz to assess where your finances are, go to calebhammer.com. It has to be seven. And you can come on this show by going to calebhammer.com. All the links are in the description. And if you don't want to end up like a guest on this show, all you have to do is download my budgeting app. And remember, those who sign up for the annual version get my budget-friendly cookbook signed by me, mailed directly to you. Check it out. All the links in the description below. Oh, you're a chef now.

We made a budget-friendly cookbook because people ask how to stick to a budget on 300 hours a month for food, so we put it together. What's your favorite recipe? From the cookbook? Yeah. I like the overnight oats, personally. That is my breakfast in the morning. It's very simple, and it's cost-effective. It is nice, and that is what I eat every morning. You put a little protein powder in there? I, well, no. Why not? You got to get the muscles, the muscles. How's Arnold Schwarzenegger say it? You don't, you're fit, but you don't look muscular. I mean, I haven't taken off the jacket yet. Please don't.

Let's talk about your Delta SkyMiles gold card. All right, let's take a look. What's going on there? By the way, even with the month we're looking at your last month where you made your full income. Yeah. Yeah, you still spent more than you made. I did? Oh my gosh. Well, that has to be like a sign. It's math. It's math.

It has to be what? You got to spend money to make money. Yeah, but you're spending more than you make. You got to spend money to make money, Caleb. And now this month you're making zero. Don't you spend money to make money? Yes, I properly invest correctly into employees that generate...

Good returns to the business. And I invest money into the market or into real estate and it makes money. And it's, you know, I've been very successful and blessed. Great. Wonderful. I've been smart about it. You're a moron. I mean, going back to that. Hey, you have $50. I think so. Yes, you have $50 and your, sorry, $500 in 401k and your, your negative, your net worth is negative $14,000. Negative $14,000. That's not bad. 14 is actually my lucky number, you know?

I think $14,000 is really not that bad, Caleb. I mean, if you look at it... But it's negative. Negative what? In terms of what? Net worth. Your worth. Why does that matter? You're talking about being rich and successful. Your net worth is what you calculate for...

wealth success i mean you could calculate worth by multiple two things i counsel i look at myself we're talking financial worth not like self-worth they're like no you're talking about being rich and successful obviously yeah that your net worth is how you calculate that oh okay your net worth is negative 14 did you not know this no are we starting from scratch here a little bit basic bare middle school minimum yeah i mean i'm

I always look in the mirror first, you know? I never look down. I always look at the mirror. I always look ahead is what they say. I think you should try that. Oh, for f**ks sake. $8,055. Do you know your parents? I think so, yeah. I know them.

What kind of answer is that? Can you just answer the question? Do you know your parents? Yes. Are they embarrassed by your existence? Do they talk to you? They do briefly. It's a quick conversation. Yeah? How does it usually go, guy? It's usually like, hey, where's the monthly payment? What? Monthly payment? Why would they be asking for... Oh, buddy. Oh, my...

What a joke. What a joke. What's happening? Being the youngest is not the easiest sometimes. You're the youngest. Don't you got siblings? I'm the oldest. And yes, I do. You definitely look like the oldest. Yes, because I'm 30. You're 30. Oh, yes. Okay. Okay. All right. That's fine. Okay. I just wanted to know. All right. Well, being the youngest is not the easiest, Caleb. I'll tell you that, man. Is it considered objectively the easiest? No.

What, have you been watching Instagram? No, man. Being the youngest is the hardest. I'm the man in the family there, Caleb. What? I got all this pressure on me to be the best. I got to worry about this. I got to worry about making payments. I got to worry about all this stuff. But you also have an identical fucking twin. So I don't know what the youngest thing you're talking about is. I'm better. I'm the better. But that doesn't – it negates this whole little wah, wah, wah, cry baby. Yeah.

It's like a copy and paste laugh. A copy and paste laugh? You're laughing like, look to the side. I've never seen you laugh. Maybe if you say something funny. When do you laugh? When someone says something funny. Like your Tinder profile? I don't have a Tinder profile. That makes sense. Do you get banned?

No, well, temporarily, actually. You got banned temporarily? It got reversed. It was some dumb... It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. I'm not on them anymore because I'm... Banned. Not banned.

That was reversed. Okay, that's right. But because I have a more long-term thing. Long-term thing. Long-term thing that I'm not paying for. Oh, okay. I see. Oh, but you're probably still using like, you know, those like Christian Mingle. What are you on? Farmers only? I just said I have a long-term thing. Are you? What do you mean by long-term thing? I'm seeing someone. Oh, really? Yes. Like a therapist? Yes.

$8,055.49 on Delta SkyMiles Gold card with $270 a month and 61 cents for your minimum payment. I don't know how the f*** you're even going to come close to paying for that. New charge of $795.66 probably because you just don't have money. You don't have money so you have to charge through the credit card. It's a

limit. You don't care about the credit card limit. You only care about the interest limit. That's what I care about. Interest limit? Interest limit. That's not a term. It's market research. Look it up. What? You're telling me you don't know anything about this? I

I thought you were the financial guru. Okay, please educate me. I want to hear this. Educate me on the market research. The market research says you get a credit card that has a 0% APR. And once that baby gets maxed out, or did get maxed out, you find ways to pay it off. You do a transfer balance. In the business, we call that a balance transfer. It's okay for this to be maxed out as long as there's zero interest. I think it expired. Okay.

Yes, I was going to say interest is accruing. Yeah, I mean, when did that happen? The pathetic excuse of a man. When did that happen? I don't know. You should know. These are your accounts. $190.21 of interest is accruing. Jesus. That's a lot. I better get this job. What job? Your job. The job you're hiring for. I mean...

I like your shirt, by the way. Shut up. You know what's funny is that I feel like you look at me like that cactus. You think so? I mean, I could use a little hair and makeup, but I mean, that's okay.

Your entire market research, as you said, suggests that this is okay as long as it's a 0%, but it's not. And you're above the credit card limit, which means when fees start accruing. How long does this take to pay off if you do not purchase on it and you only put your minimum monthly payment towards it? Oh, God. Which you're incapable of not purchasing on it. I mean, if we're using dog years. How long in human years? Human years? Well, that guy's still trying to live forever. How long? I'm trying to think. Two days, three days, tops. Okay.

Because once I get that job, you're going to see how well I can sell. No, you're not listening to my question. My question was, if you only put minimum monthly payments towards it and you did not purchase on it, how long does it take to pay off? Not if you get a job and put a lump sum down. Six years. Which, by the way, you don't all of a sudden get $8,000.

60 years? Six years. Six years? I mean, yeah. Okay, it takes 20 years. So you'll be 43. You'll be 43. Damn. And still a joke. You'll be good looking though, at least. I mean, can you say the same thing about yourself? I don't know. I'm okay. Okay. All right.

I'm just asking. Sometimes people have a little confidence issue. I'm okay. Again. I do personal training on the side, so if you need somebody. No, I wouldn't trust you to train a single thing. I could be the in-office trainer, Caleb. No. I could get a little Pilates studio in here. No. Everyone, arms up. Let's go. You bring in prostitutes and fuck them in our bathroom. One, two, three, four, five. She actually says the same thing, too. One, two, three, four, five. Who, the prostitutes?

Moving on. I could be that personal trainer for the team. The best team. We would be winning. We already are winning. Yeah, I'm here already. We keep A players, we get rid of B players. B players. We win. Yeah, you're an E player. E player. E for everybody? For fuck's sake, man.

The fact that you are – this is you as a genuine human, you are never going to make it anywhere in life. You are not. You are an actual – I need you to know that you are a joke. Not as an insult but as a hopeful revelation to you're not cute in terms of your personality. You are not successful. You are not respected. No one looks upon you and says, wow, that is someone I aspire to be. Yeah.

Listen, the comments are probably tearing you apart. And typically I would say don't. Yeah. And typically I would tell you not to look at the comments. I think you should look at the comments and use them as a wake up call. You are an actual joke and you put yourself up here and I need you to realize that you are rock bottom of humanity so that you can hopefully wake yourself up.

I'll tell you what, the comment section, people are going to want to laugh at you first before they laugh at themselves. And what I say to you, Caleb, is that I hope that comment section tears you up as well because we're going down together, baby. We're in this together. Batman and Robin. What are they tearing me down for? Batman and Robin. What are they tearing me down for? I don't know. I mean, we're Batman and Robin. We're on this together, aren't we? No, not at all. Are we not in this together, Caleb? No, not at all. I thought you were my fucking Titanic here, man. I thought you were there. I thought you were going to be like, the fuck?

You're going to be also the Rico Suave. I'm happy to support you and give you the resources and give you a budget and give you what I would personally do to get out of this situation. But I think you're so far gone as an existing human on this planet that I don't know what to do. Your personality is broken. Are you serious? You're going to want to see me working at McDonald's handing French fries? I want to see you pay bills. Why do you look down upon them? Who the fuck?

Who are you to look down upon people? No one. You're making ends meet. Ends meet for what? The french fry bag? Yes. From the fries to the bag is the ends of the meat. Who are you to look down upon them? What a disgusting human you are. I mean, what about you? You look like you probably go there f***ing every day. I love McDonald's. I'm a fat f***er.

I don't look down upon workers. I don't look down upon someone who's going out and grinding to put food on the table for their family. Let's ask the comment section. Does he look down upon workers? Here comes in all the little frames and stuff. You know what I mean? Navigating insurance feels like trying to read ancient texts, except the stakes are your health and your wallet. All that paperwork, phone calls, deciphering and decoding coverage details, and curbing the we'll get back to you emails. It could be

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I have no idea what you're talking about. No, I don't. I don't look down upon people going out to put food on their table for their family. I don't, but I just don't want that type of job, Caleb. I mean, that's not a fun job. Don't want? That might not be a choice. I got other types, though, man. Yeah, and you're converting it into zero dollars. Fries in the bag? We'll wait until 40 if I get there, and then I'll start saying that. I don't think you will. You're going to be fucking overdosed under a bridge. I mean, at least I'll have you there with me, right? No. Do you do drugs?

No, I don't do . We know you do that on your old company's credit card. Medicinal. You went in, you got some BS from the gas station. Went in, got some BS. Oh, my . What are you stopping in and getting the gas station for a few bucks? What are you getting? I mean, I get some booze. I drink a six-pack, but I . Booze. Yes. Car wash, which in Austin is really no need. Loco Sports. Loco Sports.

Locos? Oh my god. That's the best place on the planet, dude. It's like Hooters, but Mexican. It is the best place on the planet. That's where the mamacitas are. If you go there, oh my god, dude. Hooters should have just rebranded

to Hooters De Loca because this is the beautiful place to go. All right. Shring-a-Lon knew something. Shring-a-Lon knew something. Shring-a-Lon knew something. Shring-a-Lon knew something. Shring-a-Lon knew something. Shring-a-Lon knew something. Shring-a-Lon knew something. Shring-a-Lon knew something. Shring-a-Lon knew something. Shring-a-Lon knew something. Shring-a-Lon knew something. Shring-a-Lon knew something. Shring-a-Lon knew something. Shring-a-Lon knew something. Shring-a-Lon knew something. Shring-a-Lon knew something. Shring-a-Lon knew something. Shring-a-Lon knew something. Shring-a-Lon knew something. Shring-a-Lon knew something. Shring-a-Lon knew something. Shring-a-Lon knew something. Shring-a-Lon knew something. Shring-a-Lon knew something. Shring-a-Lon knew something. Shring-a-Lon knew something. Shring-a-Lon knew something. Shring-a-Lon knew something. Shring-a-Lon knew something. Shring-a-Lon knew something. Shring-a-Lon knew something. Shring-a-Lon knew something. Shring-a-Lon knew something. Shring-a-Lon knew something. Shring-a-Lon knew something. Shring-a-Lon knew something. Shring-a-Lon knew something. Shring-a-Lon knew something. Shring-a-Lon knew something. Shring-a-Lon knew something. Shring-a-Lon knew something. Shring-a-Lon knew something. Shring-a-Lon knew something

Kung Fu Saloon. That's what I remember. I remember that place. Beautiful place. A lot of karate going on there. Booze and... Booze. P. Terry's. This is on a credit card. Yeah, I feel like you like P. Terry's. You like P. Terry's? P. Terry's is fine. You like it? What's better? P. Terry's? McDonald's? What's your choice? Best hamburger in the world. Three, two, one. Well, P. Terry's probably has a better hamburger, but I do like the taste of McDonald's. McDonald's is okay. I mean, I don't... I mean, it's like a creation. It's like a science, right? Yeah. The Cavalier...

Cavalier. They got some good beef tallow fries. That's the only way I go there. Lyft, DoorDash, Hawaiian AB. Lyft, Lyft, Lyft, Lyft, Lyft. Was that supposed to be in the company credit card? The Hawaiian? Booze, Vietnamese restaurant, Halal shop, Firehouse Lounge, Ropolo's Pizzeria, Taco Bell, Halal shop, Axon Mobile, Uber Trip, Tacos Regios, El Vapor,

uh dama botanicals symposium industries i don't even know botanicals oh yeah t-h-c-a-m medicinal medicinal amazon vending amazon sunco get well that's booze and liquor uh vending machine vending and prime video channels good at least it's prime video channels kayla prime video channels interest 190 dollars charged

And that's happened twice this year so far. So interest probably ended a couple months ago. And it's at 29% interest. 29%? Man, I'm getting reams in the back end there, if you know what I mean. Do you pay for that too? No, you do actually. I like how everything I say to him is that, no, you.

That's your mental capacity. I'm rubber, you're glue. Everything bounces off to me and sticks to you. You know what they say, Caleb? Point one finger at me is five back at yourself. That's what they say, Caleb. But that doesn't mean I don't want a job.

What, they say you're looking to move to Mexico, maybe? Yeah. Can you even speak Spanish? I don't mind my way around. I know a little bit. I know a little mamacita, suavecita, una cerveza, a little, you know...

I got enough looks as it is. You don't need to speak Spanish. I don't know what you said, but where's something? I don't know what to tell you. You're going to need that one there. What's that? Where do all the cougars congregate? Oh, seriously? I'm going to keep that one. That's good to know.

I know that one too. Do you know Spanish, Caleb? You look like you're Hispanic. No. 25% native. 25% native. What tribe? I don't know. That's why I couldn't make free college. Is it the angry tribe? I don't know.

I might struggle with this one, but no tengo dinero para el aquilio. Shut up. I already know what that means. Puedo pagarte el doble el proximo mes. Oh, yeah. I already know what that means. Yeah. What does it mean? You're going to have to say it a lot. Yeah. It means... Yeah, because you've said it many times in your life, right? It means, hey, where are the beautiful girls from?

To hook up with. I don't know word for word, but I know exactly what you said. You're not using your fake name and no, it's I don't have money for rent. Can I pay you double next month instead? Oh, that's what I meant? Oh, that's good. I thought it meant something else to be honest. Well, Spanish comes with time, Caleb. And you know this. I mean, first grade wasn't taught in a year. It took two years. Okay.

I don't know what that means. Do you know any Spanish? And you're actually going to move to Mexico? I know a bit of Spanish. That's where I can find the payday loan. The payday loan. Where can I find the payday loan?

I mean, I know a bit of Spanish. It's always been in my heart. I love Spanish music. I love Spanish women, especially the mamacitas. Yes, you've said that like 10 times. My goodness, you're a f***er. Mexico is great. You know how expensive it is to be in America now? It's ridiculous. Yes, but that's also why our incomes are higher. I mean, yeah, I mean, incomes are higher, but so is the work time. I mean, how often are you

work a lot i work a lot you do how many hours 60 i don't know i don't count my hours well it'll be easier to have someone take a little load off you caleb we are hiring out our managers and the funny thing is you'll actually have to pay for that load to be taken off of you if you know what i mean pay our managers you'll pay me to come work for you instead caleb i'm gonna before you leave this building

Buddy, normally I'd offer a course career certification. I just don't think you'd make it through it. A course career? What are you talking? Architecture? Are we talking sales? What are we doing? There is tech sales in there. Tech sales? I could sell some. $1,045.93. Damn. On this blue Cash Every Day card with $41.91 for the minimum monthly payment. 1,000 purchases. Shocker. Over the credit card limit. Extra shocker. Who would have thought? Three years to pay off. Minimum only. Jesus. Jesus.

Uh-huh. What is going on with this card? What card? The blue one? Oh, I'm not surprised by color. What are you doing to me? Yes, it is blue cash every day. Oh, the blue cash every day. I mean, that's like the booze, the budget, the essentials. No, that was on the last card.

That was also incorporated in the budget, Caleb. I mean, I'm telling you. You spent more than you made. You don't know what budget is. You never heard the word budget in your life. You got to spend money to make money. Yeah, what money are you making? You're just getting booze, liquor, restaurants. I mean, I got some stuff on the side. How would you tell me? Tell me. Okay, well, I got a friend that's, you know, I got fired from my job last week or whatever. Yes, we know.

I know I actually found someone that does very similar business. What business? Airbnb manager. That's right. You're looking at it. No one's going to trust you for that. They're not going to see my face. They're going to see the building. You have a friend. You have a friend. Cool. Call him right now. I'll call him. I'll call him. Call him right now and ask if he's seriously considering you for the job. 100% honest. Put him on the speakerphone. Put the mic to hear. Let's do it. I'll call him right now.

because I wouldn't even come close. Maybe we'll conduct a formal job interview in the post show. You'll like me. I promise you that. This guy likes me. You are literally the opposite. He's from the speakerphone right here. Put the mic here. The bottom of the phone. Hey, what's up, dude? Yo, so you're going to consider me actually hiring for the job, right? Airbnb job, right?

Well, I'm going to connect you to the owner. They're looking for somebody because the current manager lives in College Station, so he needs somebody. He does. Does he need someone this week, right? I don't know. All I'm going to be able to do is just connect you with him and then you speak in whatever terms. Yeah, you tell him. You tell him I'm the best. I'm the most on time. I'm the most responsible. Tell him I'm going to get everything figured out. Can I ask why are you considering me by chance? Why do you want to consider me?

How much are you gonna pay me by the way?

I'm not paying you again. He's the one that's working with you. So what it is, remember how I get paid a percentage of what it is? Do you know how much that, if you can guess? I don't know. That's something that you have to speak to him. How many hours a week? Negotiate about it. Tell him, hey, 10% or something like that. 10%? How many hours do you think that 10% gets me? Dude, you probably won't be working much. You know, once you got a system automated and, you know...

You're probably at most 20 hours a month. 20 hours a month? Will I be able to pay rent? Yeah, like I said, once you have a system in place, like you're calling the housekeeper, you know who to call if something breaks. You really won't be doing much. Can I start to cut you off again? Quick question. Do you know, because I'm worried about paying rent, obviously. Do you know if I'm about to do this, is this also like a side gig you'd consider? Is this enough to make money on?

So you make like also both houses you'll make like maybe $500 each, like $400 to $500 each, but that's monthly. So it's like a little side hustle. Like if you had a job and also this, you'll make enough. Okay, so you're saying there's enough money to make. Okay, I like that. I like that. I like to sound that. All right, I'll talk to you later, okay? Well, send my phone number for me and make sure you give him a headshot too of me, okay? I want him to know I look good.

Yeah, I don't think he cares about that. He cares more if you could like, you know, solve problems. You never know. You never know he's gay or not, you know? You know you've been fired from four jobs. You know, and then he doesn't care though I got fired from the last like, the last company, right? Because I got fired. He doesn't care? Yeah, I got fired.

Oh, wow. I bought chicken nuggets the other day and they were like mad about that. On the company card. On the company card. They were mad about that. I tried to refund it, but...

You're messy. Dude, I'm not even joking with you, man. And I got, I was like, you know, I wanted some Chick-fil-A and they, dude, they were mad. I don't know what to say. You've been fired from other jobs too. I know. I got fired from a couple other jobs too. So I want to make sure. This is the thing. It's not, this is not a job. You can't see it as a job, right? This is more like a side business, like, you know, some extra money. It's not like a job. It's not an application. Okay.

I mean, I'm telling you, man, I can make this work. I can make this. We're going to conquer Austin. We're going to become the high rises. We're going to become the buildings. We're going to take over the industry, man. I mean, we're going to have to do a little name change, but we're going to become the best. We're going to conquer. I really hope you start your own stuff. Dude, I'm telling you, man, I'm ready for this. We're going to conquer the Southwest, baby. They're going to call us the Southwest whatever. You know, we got this. I'll talk to you later. All right. See you later, Holmes.

Okay. Okay. How long are you going to last in this job? Dude, I am fierce. I'm fierce. So it sounds like you can only make a thousand hours a month. I mean, a thousand bucks is better than nothing. What's your rent? 1200 bucks.

I mean, this is where you come into play, Caleb. And what's the name change going to be? Oh, Southwest Tweety's. I like the spelling of that. Southwest Tweety's. Southwest Tweety's. Just getting cleaners? I'm coordinating, man. I'm telling you. I'm built for this. I coordinate with the housekeeping. I practice my Spanish. I got to coordinate with the guests. I'm just going to be honest. They're going to see my face. They're going to see everything they love about me. And I'm going to see myself too, obviously.

How does that sound, Caleb? Look, I'm hireable. Sounds like you won't last long. I'm very hireable, Caleb. Uber, Uber, Uber. Don't drunk drive. Texas tag, the tolls. I'm not paying tolls ever again. It's a 0% interest until you're never paying tolls again. Never, never. It's a waste of time. I thought this was the free state. It's going to f*** your credit, though. They'll put it to collections. Free state? You have the freedom to choose if you get on the toll road state. Can't you just cover your license plate?

Yeah, and get prosecuted, yes. Oh, prosecuted. I don't like the sound prosecuted. I like the other word that sounds close to it, but we don't have to talk about that. We know that. We don't have to talk about that. Yeah, it's literally the interest-free period on this card that is over the balance or the limit is ending in about four months. Oh, shit. Four months? Yep, four months. Well, guess how much money I'm going to have by then? Zero. $4,000. $4,000.

I'll be able to pay off that credit card. How will you have $4,000? Because the Airbnb job, man. You make $1,000 a month, but you have to pay for rent and food and utilities and your bills and your minimum monthly payments. Well, that's if I don't get evicted. If I get evicted, though, I mean, I don't have to pay rent. What's your living situation going to be if you're evicted, though? Going to live in your car? I mean, I might have to come here to Hammer Studios. No, no, no, no. I mean, you guys got a huge...

huge area here you know I mean don't you know the homeless people out here Caleb you were telling me all about the workers saying I don't care about them you don't care about the homeless I mean I'm not saying homeless but I don't think take refuge here I don't think that's the best use of our I'll clean up I'll take a shower they have a shower here by the way yes I know we have a shower in my office yeah I got some cologne you can use too you can use a little cologne but do I stink you like Armani

No, I have Tom Ford on right now. Tom Ford? Yeah, it smells quite nice. I mean, Tom Ford's okay, but you got to get like a younger brand, you know? Tom Ford. I like the smell of the specific one I've picked. You did? Where do you go? Scentbird or where do you go? I don't remember where I got it from, but now I just ordered it online. Okay, I see. Well, what happens if you had someone do that for you, Caleb? It sounds like a waste of money. Oh my, how do I get sucked into that? How have you sucked me into that conversation? I'm not going down your rabbit holes.

Capital One. Capital Uno, that's right. See, I'm practicing. I'm learning. You learned one. Well, okay. Is this usually paid off? Because the balance is like nothing. Well, actually, you won't be able to pay it off. No. So it's a $29, $25 minimum payment.

but you won't be able to pay this off because you don't make money right now, which typically we do. Typically, that's illegal. We don't allow people to come on the show if they don't make money, but you got fired in between the process of accepting you on the job and coming on. But you just saw there, Caleb, that I was about, I got a job, Caleb. Right on the air, I got a job, Caleb. Not only that, but me and you can talk after. He said it's not a job. You can define, I like to...

Switch terms around, Caleb. I'm exclusive that way. You purchased $326 on this card. Again, it's booze and bulls**t. DoorDash.

I mean, you do too, right?

I can afford it. I put it in a budget and I don't get booze or but I do get food. You put it on a credit card though, right? And pay it off every single month. You have balances on these cards and you also don't have an income. I do. Okay. Well, look at this this way, Caleb. Credit cards are...

uh way to hold your money just like a bank account no so you know i'm gonna allow you to try to explain this sure go ahead if you know i can't get something to eat for example the bat city pies you know i'm just holding my money into that credit card it doesn't make sense how are you holding your money on that card holding it explain how that makes sense please explain instead of spending the 32 dollars for pizza uh-huh i'm i'm putting you don't have that much in your checking account and uh

plastic credit card. I'm holding it there. But you don't even have that money in your checking account. I'm holding it there. But you don't even have that money in your checking account to spend. That frees me up. No, no, no. You didn't have the option to spend that in your checking account because you didn't have the money there. Why does that matter? Because it's not a f***ing hold. You're not holding money from your checking account by putting it on a credit card and said you didn't have the money in the checking account. Well, it's holding something. I'll tell you that. No, it's not holding. There's no money there that's being hold. Held. Oh, the pizza's being hold. Is that what you're saying? No.

The pizza? Because I ordered the pizza and I hold it on a credit card. Oh, you are draining my mental energy way too early in here. Okay, let's see. I mean, I'll tell you what. If I had other places to hold the pizza, I would. Okay. Maybe you could hold me a pizza. I'm reading a weird note right now. I'm reading a weird note. They said your 401k was $16,000, but I see in the notes it's $500 right now. Oh, okay.

Did you cash out your 401k? When? There's nothing to show for it. There's no savings anywhere. There's no anywhere. Market downturn. Market downturn and tax return. So you sold when it went low? I got to my taxes. Big taxes. What? Tell me anything. Tell me anything, you f***er.

Please tell me anything that makes sense. Okay. Let me try to be coherent for this, Caleb. All right. So I was living in Phoenix and I was doing super well in that city. So I moved back. And when I moved back, tax return came. I owed $4,000. It was not a tax return, but yes. Oh, yeah. $4,000 because you were doing a lot of contracting work and you didn't. Yeah. And I got fired from a couple jobs in Phoenix too. I mean, I'm just on a big roll here. You don't think you have to pay taxes. Exactly.

Nobody does. I mean, why do we have to anyways? I thought this was a free country. I mean, anyone else think like that too? I mean, you got to pay taxes. I don't know. The Supreme Court in like the, I think it was the 30s said that income or 20s said that the income tax is constitutional. We got to revisit that. I mean, I don't really agree with that. Well, no one likes taxes. Yeah, nobody does. Especially this guy and this guy, you know, Batman and Robin. Yeah, I'm sure I pay a lot more in taxes than you, but. Yeah. Well, because I actually pay my taxes.

But either way, $4,000, that's like 30% call. I mean, you still barely made any money probably. But yes, I'm sure you had just contracting roles just like you're doing with this job. And you didn't set anything aside for taxes. When you're just a standard 9 to 5 whatever job in your W-2, that stuff is withheld for you so you don't have to worry about it. But when it comes to these contract jobs where you're your own business, you have to do that for yourself instead. Yeah.

Really? Oh my gosh. We're really starting from zero? I was under the assumption that you can just like... Under the assumption? Just like hold all your money to yourself. And going back to the holding term, I like that term a lot. Yes, you can, but then you have to pay the taxes. I mean, why? Quarterly or annually. Well, because you owe them.

I mean, I could deduct it. What would you be deducting? My drive here. That wasn't for business. I'm on a business mission right now, Caleb. I'm on business right now. IRS, please look into this guy. I'm calling right here. I know you're in the comments. Oh, man. Who do you think is winning right now, me or him? I think me, based on looks. In what? Looks, you know? We both have the same shirt, though. I like the shirt. You got a good color there.

We're not in a competition for anything. What are you winning? I thought this was like a, I don't know. I don't know. I'm just saying I'm the better looking one. Okay. Yes. You're more fit. Thank you. For sure. You're good looking too. And you're younger. Thank you. Yeah. I mean, I'm certainly not ugly, but I definitely could lose weight. That's for sure.

I can help you with that. I just don't want to interact with you, so no. I'll tell you what. Imagine me running behind you telling you all about my financial problems. You could probably run four or five miles a day. They're telling me you pitched them on an idea where I...

Have a competition for who pays off their debt the best. I don't know what the best means. And the reward is a vacation. Yeah. I assume you want to compete in that. Yes. Yes. But what does being paid off the debt the best mean? Oh, my God. Here's the idea. It's almost like a game show. All of the people on Financial Audit, whoever can sign up and commit to paying off the debt, whoever comes out on top. You know they do that on their own.

Gets to go to Cabo. The rest of them do that on their own because they're adults. All inclusive. And I get to select the location, of course, because I'm going to win. Is that where your favorite prostitutes are? I don't know. I've never been to Cabo. You haven't been there? No. You got to check it out. It's quite fun, to be honest. I'm not really a drinker or a d***y like you, though. That's not my lifestyle. You don't like that? I mean, I'm telling you, you got to be free-spirited, Caleb. You got to let go a little bit. No, it's not my vibe. I have an addictive personality, so I know not to really get into that. What does addictive personality mean? I fall into habits and addictions very easily. So you're a mid and you're a d***y.

No, I specifically stay away. Caleb, as soon as I walked in the building there, I saw your eyes. You looked out of it. I was like concerned. I'm tired. I am tired today. You're tired? Okay. I didn't sleep very well. I'm just going to jot that down. Okay. Well, what? To see if I get the job? So I still don't know what paying off the debt the best is yet. Okay. Get down back to business.

All right, you wrote a parable for the application. A parable? For your application, for your job application. This is my favorite. I'm allowing you to actually do this. And yes, I have to say once again, this is 100% real.

All right. Okay.

One sunny afternoon, Luigi wandered into the village bakery. The scent of warm cinnamon, melting chocolate, and buttery dough swirled through the air like a spell. His eyes sparkled at the sight of the golden cookies stacked high behind the glass. But when he reached into his pocket, oh no, he did not have enough coins to even buy one. He ran to his mother with hopeful eyes and asked gently, Mama, may I have some coins for the cookies? She smiled and said, not today, my love.

Just as Luigi turned away with a heavy heart, a man appeared in a coat made of patchwork velt and shoes that twinkled like stars.

I saw what happened, the man said kindly. I'll make you a deal, little dreamer. I'll give you all the cookies your heart desires. All I ask for is one small nickel each time you borrow a cookie. That's it. Luigi's eyes lit up like fireflies. Deal, he said. And so began the sweetest chapter of Luigi's life. He munched on cookies morning, noon, and night.

He learned everything there was to know about cookies, the flavors, the bacon, even the business. He grew round and jolly and wise in the ways of sweets. But one day, as he flipped through the pages of his cookie ledger, he gasped. He owed more nickels than there was stars in the sky.

The weight of the cookie deck grew so heavy, he felt like dunking his head into a giant bowl of steaming milk and floating away. Understandable. And in the moment, Luigi learned a lesson that stuck harder than the caramel on a cold spoon. Magic cookies are sweet, but borrowed bites can lead to bitter crumbs. So dear children, never borrow what you can't repay, especially when cookies are involved. The end.

Okay, great. So you wrote that, but you don't live by it, not for a single second. I dream by it. So what the fuck are you talking about? That is the most pointless bullshit because you don't do anything. Why be an inspirational person that preaches all this stuff and then doesn't do it? I mean, I'll tell you, because dreaming is better than doing sometimes. No, it's...

Because it's the goal. It's the idea. Yeah, but a goal without action is nothing. If you don't have no North Star, how are you going to walk towards it? But you don't follow it. The North Star takes time, Caleb. No, you see the North Star and then you avoid it at all costs. It's just like the bear says, the lessons learned once the cookie debt's too big. In this case- Your cookie debt is too big. And you have no f***ing nickels. I got a couple bites left. You have no nickels. You got a couple nickels. No, you have nothing. You literally make zero nickels a month. What?

Once again, we have a job offer. They specifically said it's not a job. You're going to have to be the one out there hustling, working 20 hours a month for $2,000. Good luck. That's good. Look how good that would be in Mexico. That's amazing. Dude, I could rent a villa for that.

You can come join me. We could do a financial audit in Mexico. We could actually interview Mexicans over there. I'd be sick. Shut the f*** up. That could be a cool job. Oh, I just got to move forward, man. I got to get through this. You're a horrendous existence on this planet. And the fact that you're proud of this existence kills me. Normally, this is also when I recommend the f***ing Fizz card or Sondermine for therapy. But again...

I don't want to put a therapist through talking with you. And I don't want you to get anywhere near a fizz card. That's funny? Yeah, it's kind of funny. You could have the therapist. It's okay. Shut the f*** up. I already do. Power play.

What is this? Power pay. Power pay. Oh, that's a good question, Caleb. Well, I got a little work done, to say the least. A little work done. A little tweaking. A little maintenance. Yeah, a little maintenance. What? It was called cool sculpting. Have you heard about this term? No. It's pretty much to make the fat on your body, especially for males, because we get fat on our abs and our love handles.

They use like a freeze gun and they like stick it on your fat and it like literally melts the fat away from you using like sub-zero temperatures. So I got that procedure done and I'm waiting on my next – Yeah. I'm waiting for my next session at the end of the month.

How much did you lose? I'm actually pretty much going to have abs at the end of this. No, how much did you lose so far? Lose what? In your session. The fat. The fat? Oh, pretty good. Like, I was already in good shape. How much did you lose? What do you mean lose? The fat! The fat? You...

for the procedure to lose the fat how much did you lose i don't know probably like five ten pounds or something really yeah hey guys always ask me caleb what do you invest in and honestly i keep it pretty boring take a look at this take a look at this this is my investments right here and this is why you gotta follow me on blossom if you want to see just that a couple weeks back i stumbled upon this social investing app called blossom and thought all right

let's give it a try and it turns out it's actually really cool and to be clear they're not a brokerage blossom is a completely free social media platform they're not your typical investing app it's social meaning you can follow exactly what i'm investing in and you can check out my portfolio in real time and even discuss strategies with me and other investors there's no guessing games just clear transparency so if you're curious about how i'm investing or just

want to get smarter with your money, download blossom right now. And you can follow me at Caleb hammer. I'll be sharing my exact portfolio breakdown, investing tips, even responding to your questions. It's totally free, super simple and way more fun than just guessing stocks alone. So hit that link below, join me on blossom and let's grow our money together. Seriously. Right now you can actually see what my portfolio looks like today. I

I don't believe you. I can recommend you. If it was real, I'd use it because I got some, but I don't believe you or trust you. It's extremely painful. You might want to get some weed with it because they'll stick this thing on you and just like...

You're dying there on the chair and you have all this lube on you and you're like, oh my god. For how long? It's like four hours. Okay, never mind. $2,657.65 is what's owed for this. You borrowed it at a 15% interest rate for this. I did that right though because they asked me who was in my household. I would have gotten a better interest rate, but I said I lived alone. Do you? I was a good person. Do you? I do live alone.

So you just answered the question. Okay. Great. I'm an honest guy, Caleb. That's why you got to hire me, baby. Okay.

Okay, you need to be honest to yourself about how much of a joke you are. Oh, it was an ad on Instagram. Great. $65.62 a month. 65% off, actually. 65% off the procedure. 65% off, yes. $65.62 is your minimum payment. This is going to be paid off in basically never with that minimum payment and with the interest rate attached to it. Good f***ing luck, dude.

What a joke. I could get you. You're a joke. Do you want to meet with Dr. Nope. No, she would like to consult with you. Don't give a not getting you whatever commission you're going to get for that. I mean, it'd be good. Truth in London. Okay. Yeah. From lead bank.

For what? What is this for? Lead bank. Oh, I think that's my real estate license. I'm trying to get my real estate license. No, that's 30% interest rate. What? Wait, is that 30% interest rate? Yes, you f***. What is it? How much is it per month? 26, 20. Oh, yeah, that's the real estate license. Yeah. That's with a firm though. You find it? Oh, you, this is a f***.

You affirmed a real estate license? Yeah, I did. Okay, balance 314. I'm going to become the best apartment locator the cities have seen. You're just helping people find apartments? Yeah, it's apartment locating, baby. It's working. I don't think people really do that much in Austin. It's not New York or.

San Francisco I am telling you I use an apartment low care just go on Zillow you don't need Zillow you need me that's what you need Caleb why would they use you someone that's slower than them that's a good question because Caleb there's a lot there's a lot on your plate Caleb you know there's places to live there's places to see there's so many things to go to but the problem is you don't have time to figure out what you need

And so when you got a guy like me on your back, a moron. Yeah, I know. No, not a moron. And when you got someone like me, I'm there taking care of you, Caleb. I'm looking for the deals. I'm finding you the special places, man. But you're also dealing with other clients. I would rather look at my own pace and go on Zillow and see a thousand apartments in one day. Are you serious, Caleb? Yeah. That's not effective, man. That's not effective. I've been pretty okay with, um,

my housing situations in my life. Are you sure? Yeah. It could be better though. I mean, I don't think so. What's the biggest thing you've looked for in your house? What's your real estate portfolio worth? $4. F*** off then.

I mean, I can help you, Caleb. I'm telling you, even finding a house is not as simple as people think it is. I think I do pretty okay. How do you find your house? What's your real estate portfolio worth? $9. Fuck off. You see how big it is? We're not comparable. You're not comparable because you haven't worked with me yet. I don't play the big dig contest because I don't care about that kind of shit. That's not what I do. However, if you're going to come here and say that you are the authoritative figure on this...

I'm gonna pull the big dick on it, okay? Oh, really? It doesn't look that big. I don't know what you're talking about, man. You're doing the rubber glue thing. It's so silly. Yeah, I mean... Shut the fuck up. You are an actual elementary schooler. I did graduate elementary school. I know the song, too, of my elementary school. It's pretty cool. I love that song. Glad you walked away with that. Not any life skills. Except good looks. Charm. Not a life skill. Personality. Personality.

Your personality is horrendous. That's what you need to be a realtor, Caleb. But you have to pay for sex. I don't need to do that. Even I'm fat and I have, you know, my sex. I've never struggled with it. Let me guess your name, right? Angela or Leftsy? Oh. Yeah. Is that their names? Very silly. Just curious. Very silly guy. Yeah. Okay. I don't know, man.

helping people find apartments. I could do that, man. I know some people use it. I don't think it's as big of a thing in Austin. Good luck. There's so many services out there that are just online. You can browse. And now they have the self-touring for apartment buildings. Self-touring? You haven't even seen this? This is the industry you're trying to get into and you're not even aware? A lot of apartment buildings around here, you scan a QR code in front and then it unlocks a unit that you're able to go into and just view what the apartment looks like and see all their amenities. Yeah.

Yeah, well... They don't need you anymore. You're outdated. You're a dying breed. Damn.

didn't like to hear it that way because it's true i'll tell you what in sales we learned not to quit we learned to persuade and ask questions but you also learn to game the system and your system's dying you need to go to a different system where you can actually make money this feels like that moment when that last top gun movie came out and uh sergeant said you're dying breed tom cruise you're a dying breed and he looked at him and like okay yeah you love tom cruise we we know we've learned it's a scientologist that's the reference i was making

And then I have a note that you owe your mom and dad $2,000 for a car loan, Mazda 2 green. Yeah. That's the best car on the planet. That was my dream car when I was 12, dude. I'm serious. That thing is amazing. Yeah, you're 25 now. Green's my favorite color. I mean, look at that. Look at that. Look how nice. What kind of car you have, Caleb? Tesla. Tesla? What kind of Tesla? I don't know.

Model X? Model X. I don't even know what a Model X is. Okay, it's the premium SUV. Oh, the SUV. I see. So you're like, what are you doing in that thing? You drive? You drive? Where to?

Work, restaurants. I went to San Antonio this weekend. Oh, you're San Antonio. Okay. Well, I'll tell you what, Caleb. I mean, I know you got a lot of sightseeing to do with these houses you want to build or whatever, but I'll tell you what. If someone was doing the driving for you, like me, I could find you the best place to live. I would not trust you behind a zero to 60 in three-second car.

They didn't either. Who? Who's they? That's redacted information. Oh, right. When you worked for Tesla. Yeah. You don't know what a Model X is and you worked for Tesla? They have five models. I only know the model and that model was me. You are such a joke. You are such a embarrassment. You owe $2,000 to your parents. It's for a car. What's your minimum monthly to them? I haven't paid them yet.

Wait, when did you get this? I think it was like a couple months ago or four months ago now, I think. I think it was four or five months ago, yeah. Okay, who do you talk to the most? My mom. Give her a call. Ask her how she feels that you haven't made any payments yet. I'm not sure if she's available. Give a call. Call them both. Yeah, maybe you confront some shit. For what it's worth, it's worth about $3,000, so you do have a thousand-hour equity position in it. Let me see if I can reach out to her. Call her.

Call her. Okay. Let me call her. Hello. Hey, Mom. So remember I was telling you I was on that podcast? I just want to ask you about something separate from all the other stuff happening. They want me to ask you, how do you feel about me not making the monthly payments yet with the car that I have that I borrowed money for you and Dad from? Only that. We're only asking about that. Okay.

oh she hung up i'd hang up too oh man ask your dad call your dad i don't know call your dad you don't don't give him the whole winded thing just ask him how they feel that you haven't made a payment okay i doubt that's the first time she's hung up on you and the other dude hung up on you too no my dad's working right now i don't think he can what does he do he's a software developer okay call him oh they don't do anything anyway hey mom are you can you see my text

No. Okay. So I'm on a podcast right now. Okay. Okay. So I have to ask you, what are your thoughts about me not making the monthly payment on the car yet? Making a what? The payment I'm supposed to pay you guys for the Mazda I got. What are your thoughts on that?

I don't even know. I mean, I don't know what you deal with that. I mean, I don't even know. Oh, so I just got to deal with that. Okay. Sounds good. All right. I'll talk to you later. Call Papa. I'm not going to call Papa. Call him. Big Bear is too much for Little Bear. Call him. I'm telling you to call him. Call him. I don't think we can call him, dude. He's actually working right now. Okay. If he doesn't pick up, he doesn't pick up, but call him. Okay. For fuck's sake, man.

You owe them $2,000 and you're not paying them. What's the agreed upon minimum of the payment? I don't think there's even been a agreed upon. Call it! Speaker to hear. Don't open with the long fucking spiel. Just ask the question. Hey, hey, dad. Hey, dad. What's up, dad? I was curious. What do you think about that monthly payment I stole you guys on the Mazda 2? Well, you know what, pal? What?

I don't know what to make of it, man. I don't know what to make of it. Am I in trouble with you guys? You and mom? We definitely have to talk later about it. Okay, but I'm still your guys' favorite son though, right? Of course. Oh, sweet. Yeah, thanks. Give me this. Give me this. Open it. Open it now. Open it. Open it. Okay. Open your phone. There it is. He didn't call his dad. He called someone named Tony. Main man Tony.

I knew it. You are such a little... You are such a f***ing joke of a human. You didn't believe me? That was my dad, man. This is your dad. Oh my god. If he doesn't pick up, it's okay. Hello? Dad, what are your thoughts about me not making the monthly payment on the car yet?

Not me? Not making the monthly payments on the car. I'm on a podcast right now. Why? Because I want to find out. Just ask him. What do you think about me not making the monthly payments on the car yet? You don't know. Tell me more. It doesn't mean anything. I guess I don't understand the question. Okay. So should I make my monthly payments or should I not make my monthly payments? Have you never made a monthly payment? Yeah, the fact that I haven't made monthly payments yet. Listen to you guys.

Well, what do you think I would think? Probably not good, honestly. Ask him how much you want so long. Look at there. You didn't even need to call me for that. How much is it per month? I don't know. How much is it per month? Why are you asking me these questions? I'll talk to you, Dad. I'll just text my mom about it. It's a podcast. I'll talk to you later, okay? Mm-hmm.

You're an idiot and you deserve it. You deserve that competition. You made me do that. Exactly. And you deserve it, honestly, because you're not willing to deal with your ever, your shit ever. You're not able to fucking deal with a single fucking thing. You're an immature little brat. You are a joke in this world.

Okay. And you call someone else to try to get out of it. You're, you're, you're a joke. You wish I was a joke, Caleb. But when I come, when I come up, we're going to send this to your parents. No, you don't. Don't send it to your parents and they're going to see that you pay for sex. Oh, you deserve it. Normally I'm not like expose the guests and this kind of stuff. You deserve it. You obviously, I mean, I should expose you to Caleb. You know why you exposed me for? Go ahead. And when you asked me, when I walked in the building, I,

I saw you. You were red-eyed. You were like all over the place. And I was like, Caleb, is this Hammer Studios? And he's like, yeah, it's Hammer Studios. So you have to make up stuff to expose. I mean, I was surprised as you were. I was like, all right, let me just go and do my thing here tonight. I didn't see you until you went to

pee chlamydia all over our bathroom walls while I was trying to get myself a coffee. Only you would know what chlamydia would look like. I mean, are you a doctor or something? So we're doing the rubber glue situation again. What's rubber glue? Is it sorts and crafts? I'm rubber glue. Everything you say bounces off me and sticks to you. Oh my god. That's all you do. You wish. I wish? You wish, yeah. Again, you're doing it again. That's your only comeback. Yeah, you wish. Okay.

You have never left the playground. I haven't because I'm always having fun, Caleb. Unlike you because you don't exchange your time for money. You need people to take some of the stuff off your plate. I'm hiring people right now. We're hiring like a dozen people. You know nothing about our business. I know a lot because I'm going to get into it. I'm going to see how well. You're not going to ever

be allowed near this building. If we see you entering the complex, our security guard will pull out his gun. What kind of gun does he have? It's a pistol of some kind. What kind of pistol? I said of some kind because I do not know. Really? Yes. Okay. Well, I'll tell you what. It's concealed. Do you know how to disarm someone with a pistol? It's quite easy, in fact. He's trained and I don't think you're going to be even close. You won't even be close to him by the time you know a bullet has left his barrel. Yeah? Well, I'm fast as fuck.

Okay, you own medical bills. Yeah, I do. There's actually some good reason for those medical bills. What brain injury was it? It was the brain injury. I got like the Mozart brain. I got like a creative mind. No. I feel like your mind is like stalled. I feel like your brain is like really like put together, but you're like kind of like a dimwit. Oh, you are just the most...

Moronic mother. All you do is just when you don't, when you get a little bit of pushback, you just do the immature little insult things. And I love a good immature insult, but you do it so poorly. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Yes. Okay. Say it one more time. What's the medical bill for you? I will. Um, I had ADHD, but I cured myself. I cured myself. Moving on.

Shut the fuck up. Ever heard of magic mushrooms? You ever heard of what's in your checking account right now? Let me check. $329. What's in your savings? $32. Okay, so it's all gone down from here. We're getting Starbucks, Chipotle, even though we're fired. Booze and liquor. Liquor and smoke, whatever. We do that like five times. McDonald's. Booze, booze, booze. McDonald's. Booze.

Fenway Not Money. Torchies. Smoke Shop. McDonald's. Liquor. Liquor, liquor, liquor. DoorDash. Fenway Not Money. Liquor. 77 Degrees. Liquor and smokes and liquor and smokes and liquor smokes. Liquor smokes, liquor smokes, liquor smokes. Fenway Not Money. Lime Payoff. Lime Payoff? What's that? I don't fucking know. I love limes. Stop talking. Galaxy. Liquor Booze. Liquor Booze. Liquor Booze. Smoke Shop.

Lime ride. Tacos, tacos. Ricardo. Champs. Licker smoke, liquor smoke. You're annoying. Liquor smokes, dominoes, door dash, door dash. So you pulled through the 4-0 game. Again, I need to hear about that because like what did you even use the money for? I used the money to pay off all the credit card debt I had and then... Oh, and then it's all back up. Great. You're...

It's kind of like a piston. You know how pistons work? If you put pressure on one, the other four raise. You know how they design cars like that or whatever? I think it's the same thing that happens. I put pressure on one thing and the rest of it just raises. So I think I focus too much on my finances sometimes where it just stresses me out. And being 100% genuine right now, I want to see exactly what this says. The last escort is the term we agreed on that you slept with. Show me her picture.

100% serious and don't f*** around I want it to be the real picture your phone's on the table next to your kids drink sweet who doesn't like Kool-Aid it's Capri Sun it's not Kool-Aid let me look I want this to be real you better not all I know you've only deflected lied even about the people you're calling like I'm looking right now yeah how do you find them where are you looking to get the picture

No, they're just my contacts. Okay, so it's in your contact. Yeah. Okay, so you pulled her off the... I'll show you. Can you tell me a genuine answer? Genuine. Where do you find these escorts? I don't find them. Come on. No, tell me the real answer. Okay, okay. So at my apartment complex, there's like a huge like... Been like bust apparently of like all these like...

...are over there, and so when I found out about it, like, they all go by the pool. And so when I go by the pool, like, it's just a casual conversation because they know what you're looking for. And so when I... Show me. Show me the picture. I'll show you. Give me a second. Let's see what our... Looks like in 2025.

I'm not going to get a budget out of you because you're a joke, but at least this was an entertaining conversation for the audience. We did it. I made it through for you, but I've reached the end. We're going to look at a process. And then in the post show here in a second, I'm going to bring in my number two in command who does first round interviews. I do second round interviews and last round. We're going to bring in, we're going to conduct an actual formal job interview with him. And then we're going to bring in some extra tea that the producers have as always. So

So make sure you join that. Now let's take a look at this. I'm trying to look. Do you remember her name? No, you just stuck it in and gave her money. I think it was Maria or something. Was it Maria? You gotta give me a second. Well, you know you can type in that name and find out, right? Oh, I know where to find her. Okay. Where is she? Right. Oh, she's a MILF. Oh, she looks like a pro. And we're not going to put the picture on the screen because I don't want people to reverse image search and find her, but she's caked and fucking...

Okay. Tell me, how much did it cost? Actually, um... Tell me how much did it cost? No more f***ing around answers. Give me the real answer. $300. Okay. What did you do for $300? Um, I got a make out with her, and then she did a little something to my special spot. Okay, so she blew you. Yeah. You didn't have sex? No. Okay. She's the CEO of a company. It just links to her own Instagram.

Okay, let's see what her company is. Salon, let the salon come to you. Yeah, I'm sure that's what she does when the salon gets to her. Must be a cover. Yep. Oh, no. You know it's a cover because she sent you the link and you said, sweet, a sunglasses emoji. Me too. And then you guys talked about someone. You're going to love your haircut. I've heard that before. Can't wait. You say, concierge services book, me.

Messages, makeup, hair, catering, chef services, all the things. For condos, high rises, hotels, man, the air entities and Airbnb. You may be free tomorrow for the haircut. What time tomorrow? Can you do two 15? Hey, Hey, text my work for a haircut. Yes. This is how normal people communicate. Okay. Hey, I left a message. Oh gosh. I saw it. I need a haircut. And he, and he knows who can do it best. Winky face.

Wait, did you guys ever? Because you've given her a lot of messages she hasn't responded to. No, that's like, because we were talking because she is on my apartment complex. So we went by the pool and then... You deleted her text messages. Okay. No, that's what I was looking for, but I didn't see it. How often do you do it? How often? Come on, man. How often do you do it? How often do you do it? I do it once in a while. I don't.

You don't, is it because you can't get any? No, that's what people that get prostitution do it for because they can't get any. Well, again, I am seeing someone. I do not need that. And even before, I've always at least luckily been able to, you know, get people that I'm attracted to. Yeah, me too. I mean, but sometimes. Yeah, but how often do you do the prostitution? Once a month, maybe. Once a month. That's crazy, bro. You know that's crazy. Why do you do it? I don't know. No, come on. Why do you do it? Mm-hmm.

Probably for urges, you know? I don't really care. I mean, it's just one thing. I mean...

What do you think about it? I mean, it's not even that bad. I think about it that it's illegal. And I think about it, I would be okay if I know for a fact that they are not in a situation where they're being controlled for someone, where they're in fear for their life, where they're not being trafficked. I would only ever be okay with it in society if it was regulated in a way where they're safe and they're good. And then I don't care what consensual adults do. But the fact is, a lot of people in those situations are usually in a sketchy situation. Listen...

He legitimately...

100%. 100% wants a job here. This is real. Okay. I will let this be a real job interview. We can do it full real. Sounds good. Let's do it. Robert usually does the first round. I usually do the last round. We'll do a cool little interview thing here. All right, man. Let's start with your name. Clusive members content. Click the link in the description or pin comment below and watch thousands of hours of extra and uncensored content.